Latest / The Samuel Richardson Library / Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded Volume 1 Letter 8
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Section 8 of Pamela or Virtue Rewarded i am now
- 0:21Speaker 1: come down in my writing to this present saturday and
- 0:24Speaker 1: a deal i have written my wicked bedfellow has very
- 0:28Speaker 1: punctual orders it seems for she locks me and herself
- 0:32Speaker 1: in and ties the two keys for there is a
- 0:34Speaker 1: double door to the room about her wrist when she
- 0:37Speaker 1: goes to bed she talks of the house having been
- 0:40Speaker 1: attempted to be broken open two or three times whether
- 0:44Speaker 1: to fright me i can't tell but it makes me
- 0:47Speaker 1: fearful though not so much as i should be if
- 0:50Speaker 1: i had not other and greater fears i slept but
- 0:53Speaker 1: little last night and got up and pretended to sit
- 0:57Speaker 1: by the window which looks into the spacious gardens but
- 1:00Speaker 1: i was writing all the time from break of day
- 1:03Speaker 1: to her getting up and after when she was absent
- 1:07Speaker 1: at breakfast she presented the two maids to me the
- 1:10Speaker 1: cook and the housemaid poor awkward souls that i can
- 1:13Speaker 1: see no hopes of they seem so devoted to her
- 1:17Speaker 1: and ignorance yet i am resolved if possible to find
- 1:20Speaker 1: some way to escape before this wicked master comes there
- 1:25Speaker 1: are besides of servants the coachman robert a groom a
- 1:30Speaker 1: helper a footman all but robert and he is accessory
- 1:34Speaker 1: to my ruin strange creatures that promise nothing and all
- 1:38Speaker 1: likewise devoted to this woman the gardener looks like a
- 1:41Speaker 1: good honest man but he is kept at a distance
- 1:44Speaker 1: and seems reserved i wondered i saw not mr williams
- 1:49Speaker 1: the clergyman but would not ask after him apprehending it
- 1:52Speaker 1: might give some jealousy but when i had beheld the
- 1:56Speaker 1: rest he was the only one i had hopes of
- 1:59Speaker 1: for i thought his cloth would set him above assisting
- 2:02Speaker 1: in my ruin but in the afternoon he came for
- 2:06Speaker 1: it seems he has a little latin school in the
- 2:08Speaker 1: neighbouring village which he attends and this brings him in
- 2:12Speaker 1: a little matter additional to my master's favour till something
- 2:15Speaker 1: better falls of which he has hopes he is a
- 2:19Speaker 1: sensible sober young gentleman and when i saw him i
- 2:23Speaker 1: confirmed myself in my hopes of him for he seemed
- 2:26Speaker 1: to take great notice of my distress and grief for
- 2:29Speaker 1: i could not hide it though he appeared fearful of
- 2:32Speaker 1: mrs jukes who watched all our motions and words he
- 2:36Speaker 1: has an apartment in the house but is mostly at
- 2:39Speaker 1: a lodging in the town for a conveniency of his
- 2:42Speaker 1: little school only on saturday afternoon and sundays and he
- 2:47Speaker 1: preaches sometimes for the minister of the village which is
- 2:50Speaker 1: about three miles off i hope to go to church
- 2:53Speaker 1: with him to-morrow sure it is not in her instructions
- 2:57Speaker 1: to deny me he can't have thought of everything and
- 3:01Speaker 1: something might strike out for me there i have asked
- 3:04Speaker 1: her for a feint because she shan't think i am
- 3:07Speaker 1: so well provided to indulge me with pen and ink
- 3:11Speaker 1: though i have been using my own so freely when
- 3:13Speaker 1: her absence would let me for i begged to be
- 3:16Speaker 1: left to myself as much as possible she says she
- 3:20Speaker 1: will let me have it but then i must promise
- 3:22Speaker 1: not to send any writing out of the house without
- 3:25Speaker 1: her seeing it i said it was only to divert
- 3:29Speaker 1: my grief when i was by myself as i desired
- 3:32Speaker 1: to be for i loved writing as well as reading
- 3:35Speaker 1: but i had nobody to send to she knew well
- 3:38Speaker 1: enough no not at present maybe said she but i
- 3:43Speaker 1: am told you are a great writer and it is
- 3:45Speaker 1: in my instructions to see all you write so look
- 3:49Speaker 1: you here said she i will let you have a
- 3:52Speaker 1: pen and ink and two sheets of paper for this
- 3:55Speaker 1: employment will keep you out of worse thoughts but i
- 3:58Speaker 1: must see them always when i ask written or not
- 4:01Speaker 1: written that's very hard said i but may i not
- 4:06Speaker 1: have to myself the closet in the room where we
- 4:08Speaker 1: lie with the key to lock up my things i
- 4:12Speaker 1: believe i may consent to that said she and i
- 4:15Speaker 1: will set it in order for you and leave the
- 4:17Speaker 1: key in the door and there is a spinet too
- 4:20Speaker 1: said she if it be in tune you may play
- 4:23Speaker 1: to divert you now and then for i know my
- 4:26Speaker 1: old lady learnt you and below is my master's library
- 4:30Speaker 1: you may take out what books you will and indeed
- 4:34Speaker 1: these in my writing will be all my amusement for
- 4:37Speaker 1: i have no work given me to do and the
- 4:40Speaker 1: spinet if in tune will not find my mind i
- 4:43Speaker 1: am sure in tune to play upon it but i
- 4:46Speaker 1: went directly and picked out some books from the library
- 4:50Speaker 1: with which i filled a shelf in the closet she
- 4:52Speaker 1: gave me possession of and from these i hoped to
- 4:55Speaker 1: receive improvement as well as amusement but no sooner was
- 4:59Speaker 1: her back turned than i set about hiding a pen
- 5:02Speaker 1: of my own here and another there for fear i
- 5:05Speaker 1: should come to be denied and a little of my
- 5:08Speaker 1: ink in a broken china cup and a little in
- 5:10Speaker 1: another cup and a sheet of paper here and there
- 5:13Speaker 1: among my linen with a little of the wax and
- 5:16Speaker 1: a few wafers in several places lest i should be
- 5:19Speaker 1: searched and something i thought might happen to open a
- 5:23Speaker 1: way for my deliverance by these or some other means
- 5:27Speaker 1: oh the pride thought i i shall have if i
- 5:31Speaker 1: can secure my innocence and escape the artful wiles of
- 5:34Speaker 1: this wicked master for if he comes hither i am
- 5:38Speaker 1: undone to be sure for this naughty woman will assist
- 5:42Speaker 1: him rather than fail in the worst of his attempts
- 5:46Speaker 1: and he'll have no occasion to send her out of
- 5:48Speaker 1: the way as he would have done mrs jervis once
- 5:51Speaker 1: so i must set all my little wits at work
- 5:55Speaker 1: it is a grief to me to write and not
- 5:57Speaker 1: to be able to send to you what i write
- 6:00Speaker 1: but now it is all the diversion i have and
- 6:02Speaker 1: if god will favour my escape with my innocence as
- 6:06Speaker 1: i trust he graciously will for all these black prospects
- 6:09Speaker 1: with what pleasure shall i read them afterwards i was
- 6:13Speaker 1: going to say pray for your dutiful daughter as i
- 6:16Speaker 1: used but alas you cannot know my distress though i
- 6:20Speaker 1: am sure i have your prayers and i will write
- 6:23Speaker 1: on as things happen that if a way should open
- 6:26Speaker 1: my scribble may be ready to be sent for what
- 6:29Speaker 1: i do must be at a jerk to be sure
- 6:33Speaker 1: oh how i want such an obliging honest-hearted man as
- 6:36Speaker 1: john i am now come to sunday well here is
- 6:41Speaker 1: a sad thing i am denied by this barbarous woman
- 6:45Speaker 1: to go to church as i had built upon i
- 6:48Speaker 1: might and she has huffed poor mr williams all to
- 6:51Speaker 1: pieces for pleading for me i find he is to
- 6:54Speaker 1: be forbid the house if she pleases poor gentleman all
- 6:59Speaker 1: his dependence is upon my master who has a very
- 7:02Speaker 1: good living for him if the incumbent die and he
- 7:05Speaker 1: has kept his bed these four months of old age
- 7:08Speaker 1: and dropsy he pays me great respect and i see
- 7:13Speaker 1: pities me and would perhaps assist my escape from these
- 7:16Speaker 1: dangers but i have nobody to plead for me and
- 7:20Speaker 1: why should i wish to ruin a poor gentleman by
- 7:23Speaker 1: engaging him against his interest yet one would do anything
- 7:27Speaker 1: to preserve one's innocence and providence would perhaps make it
- 7:31Speaker 1: up to him oh judge but how shall you see
- 7:35Speaker 1: what i write of my distracted condition to be reduced
- 7:39Speaker 1: to such a pass as to a desire to lay
- 7:42Speaker 1: traps for mankind but he wants sadly to say something
- 7:46Speaker 1: to me as he whisperingly hinted the wretch i think
- 7:51Speaker 1: i shall always call her the wretch henceforth abuses me
- 7:54Speaker 1: more and more i was but talking to one of
- 7:57Speaker 1: the maids just now indeed a little to tamper with
- 8:00Speaker 1: her by degrees and she popped upon us and said
- 8:04Speaker 1: nay madam don't offer to tempt poor innocent country maidens
- 8:08Speaker 1: from doing their duty you wanted i hear she should
- 8:11Speaker 1: take a walk with you but i charge you nan
- 8:14Speaker 1: never stir with her nor obey her without letting me
- 8:17Speaker 1: know it in the smallest trifles i say walk with
- 8:22Speaker 1: you and where would you go i trow why barbarous
- 8:26Speaker 1: mrs jukes said i only to look a little up
- 8:29Speaker 1: the elm walk since you would not let me go
- 8:32Speaker 1: to church nan said she to show me how much
- 8:36Speaker 1: they were all in her power pull off madame's shoes
- 8:39Speaker 1: and bring them to me i have taken care of
- 8:41Speaker 1: her others indeed she shan't said i nay said nan
- 8:47Speaker 1: but i must if my mistress bids me so pray
- 8:50Speaker 1: madam don't hinder me and so indeed would you believe
- 8:54Speaker 1: it she took my shoes off and left me barefoot
- 8:58Speaker 1: and for my share i have been so frighted at
- 9:01Speaker 1: this that i have not power even to relieve my
- 9:03Speaker 1: mind by my tears i am quite stupefied to be
- 9:07Speaker 1: sure here i was forced to leave off now i
- 9:12Speaker 1: will give you a picture of this wretch she is
- 9:15Speaker 1: a broad squat pursy fat thing quite ugly if anything
- 9:19Speaker 1: human can be so called about forty years old she
- 9:23Speaker 1: has a huge hand and an arm as thick as
- 9:26Speaker 1: my waist i believe her nose is flat and crooked
- 9:29Speaker 1: and her brows grow down over her eyes a dead
- 9:33Speaker 1: spiteful gray googling eye to be sure she has and
- 9:37Speaker 1: her face is flat and broad and as to colour
- 9:40Speaker 1: looks as if it had been pickled a month in
- 9:43Speaker 1: saltpetre i dare say she drinks she has a hoarse
- 9:47Speaker 1: man-like voice and is as thick as she is long
- 9:50Speaker 1: and yet looks so deadly strong that i am afraid
- 9:53Speaker 1: she would dash me at her foot in an instant
- 9:56Speaker 1: if i was to vex her so that with a
- 9:58Speaker 1: heart more ugly than her face she frightens me sadly
- 10:03Speaker 1: and i am undone to be sure if god does
- 10:05Speaker 1: not protect me for she is very very wicked indeed
- 10:09Speaker 1: she is this is poor helpless spite in me but
- 10:14Speaker 1: the picture is too near the truth notwithstanding she sends
- 10:17Speaker 1: me a message just now that i shall have my
- 10:20Speaker 1: shoes again if i will accept of her company to
- 10:23Speaker 1: walk with me in the garden to waddle with me
- 10:26Speaker 1: rather thought i well tis not my business to quarrel
- 10:30Speaker 1: with her downright i shall be watched the narrower if
- 10:33Speaker 1: i do and so i will go with the hated
- 10:36Speaker 1: wretch oh for my dear mrs jervis or rather to
- 10:40Speaker 1: be safe with my dear father and mother oh i
- 10:44Speaker 1: am out of my wits for joy just as i
- 10:47Speaker 1: have got my shoes on i am told john honest
- 10:50Speaker 1: john is come on horseback a blessing on his faithful
- 10:54Speaker 1: heart what joy is this but i'll tell you more
- 10:58Speaker 1: by-and-by i must not let her know i am so
- 11:01Speaker 1: glad to see this dear blessed john to be sure
- 11:05Speaker 1: alas but he looks sad as i see him out
- 11:08Speaker 1: of the window what can be the matter i hope
- 11:11Speaker 1: my dear parents are well and mrs jervis and mr
- 11:14Speaker 1: longman and everybody my naughty master not excepted for i
- 11:19Speaker 1: wish him to live and repent of all his wickedness
- 11:22Speaker 1: to poor me oh dear heart what a world do
- 11:26Speaker 1: we live in i am now come to take up
- 11:29Speaker 1: my pen again but i am in a sad taking
- 11:31Speaker 1: truly another puzzling trial to be sure here was john
- 11:36Speaker 1: as i said and the poor man came to me
- 11:39Speaker 1: with mrs jukes who whispered that i would say nothing
- 11:42Speaker 1: about my shoes for my own sake as she said
- 11:46Speaker 1: the poor man saw my distress by my red eyes
- 11:49Speaker 1: and my haggard looks i suppose for i have had
- 11:53Speaker 1: a sad time of it you must needs think and
- 11:56Speaker 1: though he would have hid it if he could yet
- 11:58Speaker 1: his own eyes ran over oh mrs pamela said he
- 12:01Speaker 1: oh mrs pamela well honest fellow-servant said i i cannot
- 12:09Speaker 1: help it at present i am obliged to your honesty
- 12:12Speaker 1: and kindness to be sure and then he wept more
- 12:16Speaker 1: said i for my heart was ready to break to
- 12:19Speaker 1: see his grief for it is a touching thing to
- 12:22Speaker 1: see a man cry tell me the worst is my
- 12:25Speaker 1: master coming no no said he and sobbed well said
- 12:31Speaker 1: i is there any news of my poor father and
- 12:33Speaker 1: mother how do they do i hope well said he
- 12:37Speaker 1: i know nothing to the contrary there is no mishap
- 12:42Speaker 1: i hope to mrs jervis or to mr longman or
- 12:44Speaker 1: to my fellow-servants no said he poor man with a
- 12:49Speaker 1: long no as if his heart would burst well thank
- 12:54Speaker 1: god then said i the man's a fool said mrs
- 12:59Speaker 1: jukes i think what a dew is here why sure
- 13:03Speaker 1: thou'rt in love john dost thou not see young madam
- 13:07Speaker 1: is well what ails thee man nothing at all said
- 13:11Speaker 1: he but i am such a fool as to cry
- 13:13Speaker 1: for joy to see good mrs pamela but i have
- 13:16Speaker 1: a letter for you i took it and saw it
- 13:20Speaker 1: was from my master so i put it in my
- 13:22Speaker 1: pocket mrs jukes said i you need not i hope
- 13:26Speaker 1: see this no no said she i see whose it
- 13:30Speaker 1: is well enough or else maybe i must have insisted
- 13:34Speaker 1: on reading it and here is one for you mrs
- 13:38Speaker 1: jukes said he but yours said he to me requires
- 13:43Speaker 1: an answer which i must carry back early in the
- 13:45Speaker 1: morning or to-night if i can you have no more
- 13:49Speaker 1: john said mrs jukes for mrs pamela have you no
- 13:54Speaker 1: said he i have not but everybody's kind love and
- 13:58Speaker 1: service aye to us both to be sure said she
- 14:03Speaker 1: john said i i will read the letter and pray
- 14:06Speaker 1: take care of yourself for you are a good man
- 14:09Speaker 1: god bless you and i rejoice to see you and
- 14:12Speaker 1: hear from you all but i longed to say more
- 14:16Speaker 1: only that nasty mrs jukes so i went up and
- 14:20Speaker 1: locked myself in my closet and opened the letter and
- 14:23Speaker 1: this is a copy of it my dearest pamela i
- 14:27Speaker 1: send purposely to you on an affair that concerns you
- 14:30Speaker 1: very much and me somewhat but chiefly for your sake
- 14:34Speaker 1: i am conscious that i have proceeded by you in
- 14:37Speaker 1: such a manner as may justly alarm your fears and
- 14:40Speaker 1: give concern to your honest friends and all my pleasure
- 14:44Speaker 1: is that i can and will make you amends for
- 14:46Speaker 1: the disturbance i have given you as i promised i
- 14:50Speaker 1: sent to your father the day after your departure that
- 14:53Speaker 1: he might not be too much concerned for you and
- 14:56Speaker 1: assured him of my honor to you and made an
- 14:59Speaker 1: excuse such an one as ought to have satisfied him
- 15:02Speaker 1: for your not coming to him but this was not
- 15:05Speaker 1: sufficient it seems for he poor man came to me
- 15:09Speaker 1: next morning and set my family almost in an uproar
- 15:12Speaker 1: about you oh my dear girl what trouble has not
- 15:17Speaker 1: your obstinacy given me and yourself too i had no
- 15:21Speaker 1: way to pacify him but to promise that he should
- 15:24Speaker 1: see a letter written from you to mrs jervis to
- 15:27Speaker 1: satisfy him you are well now all my care in
- 15:31Speaker 1: this case is for your aged parents lest they should
- 15:34Speaker 1: be touched with too fatal a grief and for you
- 15:38Speaker 1: whose duty and affection for them i know to be
- 15:40Speaker 1: so strong and laudable for this reason i beg you
- 15:44Speaker 1: will write a few lines to them and let me
- 15:46Speaker 1: prescribe the form which i have done putting myself as
- 15:50Speaker 1: near as i can in your place and expressing your
- 15:53Speaker 1: sense with a warmth that i doubt will not have
- 15:55Speaker 1: too much possessed you after what is done and which
- 15:59Speaker 1: cannot now be helped but which i assure you shall
- 16:03Speaker 1: turn out honourably for you i expect not to be
- 16:06Speaker 1: refused because i cannot possibly have any view in it
- 16:10Speaker 1: but to satisfy your parents which is more your concern
- 16:13Speaker 1: than mine and so i must beg you not alter
- 16:17Speaker 1: one tittle of the underneath if you do it will
- 16:20Speaker 1: be impossible for me to send it or that it
- 16:23Speaker 1: should answer the good end i propose by it i
- 16:26Speaker 1: have promised that i will not approach you without your
- 16:29Speaker 1: leave if i find you easy and not attempting to
- 16:32Speaker 1: dispute or avoid your present lot i will keep to
- 16:35Speaker 1: my word although it is a difficulty upon me nor
- 16:39Speaker 1: shall your restraint last long for i will assure you
- 16:43Speaker 1: that i am resolved very soon to convince you of
- 16:45Speaker 1: my good intentions and with what ardor i am yours
- 16:50Speaker 1: c the letter he prescribed for me was as this
- 16:55Speaker 1: dear mrs jervis i have instead of being driven by
- 16:58Speaker 1: robin to my dear father's been carried off where i
- 17:02Speaker 1: have no liberty to tell however at present i am
- 17:06Speaker 1: not used hardly and i write to beg you to
- 17:09Speaker 1: let my dear father and mother whose hearts must be
- 17:12Speaker 1: well-nigh broken know that i am well and that i
- 17:15Speaker 1: am and by the grace of god ever will be
- 17:18Speaker 1: their honest as well as dutiful daughter and your obliged
- 17:23Speaker 1: friend i must neither send date nor place but have
- 17:27Speaker 1: most solemn assurances of honorable usage i knew not what
- 17:32Speaker 1: to do on this most strange request and occasion but
- 17:36Speaker 1: my heart bled so much for you my dear father
- 17:39Speaker 1: who had taken the pains to go yourself and inquire
- 17:42Speaker 1: after your poor daughter as well as for my dear
- 17:45Speaker 1: mother that i resolved to write and pretty much in
- 17:48Speaker 1: the above form that it might be sent to pacify
- 17:51Speaker 1: you till i could let you somehow or other know
- 17:55Speaker 1: the true state of the matter and i wrote thus
- 17:58Speaker 1: to my strange wicked master himself Sir, if you knew
- 18:03Speaker 1: but the anguish of my mind, and how much I
- 18:05Speaker 1: suffer by your dreadful usage of me, you would surely
- 18:09Speaker 1: pity me and consent to my deliverance. What have I
- 18:12Speaker 1: done that I should be the only mark of your cruelty?
- 18:15Speaker 1: I can have no hope, no desire of living left me,
- 18:19Speaker 1: because I cannot have the least dependence, after what has passed,
- 18:23Speaker 1: upon your solemn assurances. It is impossible they should be
- 18:27Speaker 1: consistent with the dishonorable methods you take. nothing but your
- 18:31Speaker 1: promise of not seeing me here in my deplorable bondage
- 18:35Speaker 1: can give me the least ray of hope don't i
- 18:38Speaker 1: beseech you drive the poor distressed pamela upon a rock
- 18:42Speaker 1: that may be the destruction both of her soul and
- 18:45Speaker 1: body you don't know sir how dreadfully i dare weak
- 18:49Speaker 1: as i am of mind and intellect when my virtue
- 18:52Speaker 1: is in danger and oh hasten my deliverance that a
- 18:56Speaker 1: poor unworthy creature below the notice of such a gentleman
- 19:00Speaker 1: as you may not be made the sport of a
- 19:02Speaker 1: high condition for no reason in the world but because
- 19:06Speaker 1: she is not able to defend herself nor has a
- 19:09Speaker 1: friend that can right her i have sir in part
- 19:13Speaker 1: to show my obedience to you but indeed i own
- 19:16Speaker 1: more to give ease to the minds of my poor
- 19:18Speaker 1: distressed parents whose poverty one would think should screen them
- 19:22Speaker 1: from violences of this sort as well as their poor
- 19:25Speaker 1: daughter followed pretty much the form you have prescribed for
- 19:29Speaker 1: me in the letter to mrs jervis and the alterations
- 19:32Speaker 1: i have made for i could not help a few
- 19:35Speaker 1: are of such a nature as though they show my
- 19:38Speaker 1: concern a little yet must answer the end you are
- 19:41Speaker 1: pleased to say you propose by this letter for god's
- 19:45Speaker 1: sake good sir pity my lowly condition and my present
- 19:49Speaker 1: great misery and let me join with all the rest
- 19:52Speaker 1: of your servants to bless that goodness which you have
- 19:55Speaker 1: extended to every one but the poor afflicted heart-broken i
- 20:01Speaker 1: thought when i had written this letter and that which
- 20:04Speaker 1: he had prescribed it would look like placing a confidence
- 20:07Speaker 1: in mrs jukes to show them to her and i
- 20:10Speaker 1: showed her at the same time my master's letter to
- 20:13Speaker 1: me for i believed the value he expressed for me
- 20:17Speaker 1: would give me credit with one who professed in every
- 20:19Speaker 1: thing to serve him right or wrong though i had
- 20:22Speaker 1: so little reason i fear to pride myself in it
- 20:25Speaker 1: and i was not mistaken for it has seemed to
- 20:28Speaker 1: influence her not a little as she is at present
- 20:31Speaker 1: mighty obliging and runs over in my praises but it
- 20:35Speaker 1: is the less to be minded because she praises as
- 20:38Speaker 1: much the author of my miseries and his honourable intentions
- 20:42Speaker 1: as she calls them for i see that she is
- 20:45Speaker 1: capable of thinking as i fear he does that every
- 20:48Speaker 1: thing that makes for his wicked will is honourable though
- 20:52Speaker 1: to the ruin of the innocent pray god i may
- 20:55Speaker 1: find it otherwise though i hope whatever the wicked gentleman
- 20:59Speaker 1: may intend that i shall be at the last writ
- 21:02Speaker 1: of her impertinent bold way of talk when she seems
- 21:05Speaker 1: to think from his letter that he means honourably i
- 21:09Speaker 1: am now come to monday the fifth day of my
- 21:12Speaker 1: bondage and misery i was in hope to have an
- 21:15Speaker 1: opportunity to see john and have a little private talk
- 21:18Speaker 1: with him before he went away but it could not
- 21:21Speaker 1: be the poor man's excessive sorrow made mrs jukes take
- 21:26Speaker 1: it into her head to think he loved me and
- 21:29Speaker 1: so she brought up a message to me from him
- 21:31Speaker 1: this morning that he was going i desired he might
- 21:34Speaker 1: come up to my closet as i called it and
- 21:37Speaker 1: she came with him the honest man as i thought
- 21:40Speaker 1: him was as full of concern as before at taking
- 21:44Speaker 1: leave and i gave him two letters the one for
- 21:46Speaker 1: mrs jervis enclosed in another for my master but mrs
- 21:51Speaker 1: jukes would see me seal them up lest i should
- 21:53Speaker 1: enclose anything else i was surprised at the man's going
- 21:57Speaker 1: away to see him drop a bit of paper just
- 22:00Speaker 1: at the head of the stairs which i took up
- 22:02Speaker 1: without being observed by mrs jukes but i was a
- 22:05Speaker 1: thousand times more surprised when i returned to my closet
- 22:09Speaker 1: and opening it read as follows good mrs pamela i
- 22:14Speaker 1: am grieved to tell you how much you have been
- 22:16Speaker 1: deceived and betrayed and that by such a vile dog
- 22:19Speaker 1: as i little did i think it would come to
- 22:22Speaker 1: this but i must say if ever there was a
- 22:25Speaker 1: rogue in the world it is me i have all
- 22:28Speaker 1: along showed your letters to my master he employed me
- 22:32Speaker 1: for that purpose and he saw every one before i
- 22:35Speaker 1: carried them to your father and mother and then sealed
- 22:38Speaker 1: them up and sent me with them i had some
- 22:42Speaker 1: business that way but not half so often as i
- 22:45Speaker 1: pretended and as soon as i heard how it was
- 22:49Speaker 1: i was ready to hang myself you may well think
- 22:52Speaker 1: i could not stand in your presence oh vile vile
- 22:56Speaker 1: wretch to bring you to this if you are ruined
- 22:59Speaker 1: i am the rogue that caused it all the justice
- 23:02Speaker 1: i can do to you is to tell you you
- 23:05Speaker 1: are in vile hands and i am afraid will be
- 23:08Speaker 1: undone in spite of all your sweet innocence and i
- 23:11Speaker 1: believe i shall never live after i know it if
- 23:15Speaker 1: you can forgive me you are exceeding good but i
- 23:18Speaker 1: shall never forgive myself that's certain howsomever it will do
- 23:23Speaker 1: you no good to make this known and mayhap i
- 23:26Speaker 1: may live to do you service if i can i
- 23:29Speaker 1: will i am sure i ought master kept your last
- 23:34Speaker 1: two or three letters and did not send them at
- 23:37Speaker 1: all i am the most abandoned wretch of wretches j
- 23:41Speaker 1: arnold you see your undoing has been long hatching pray
- 23:45Speaker 1: take care of your sweet self mrs jukes is a
- 23:48Speaker 1: devil but in my master's t'other house you have not
- 23:52Speaker 1: one false heart but myself out upon me for a
- 23:55Speaker 1: villain my dear father and mother when you come to
- 24:00Speaker 1: this place i make no doubt your hair will stand
- 24:02Speaker 1: on end as mine does oh the deceitfulness of the
- 24:06Speaker 1: heart of man this john that i took to be
- 24:09Speaker 1: the honestest of men that you took for the same
- 24:13Speaker 1: that was always praising you to me and me to
- 24:15Speaker 1: you and for nothing so much as for our honest
- 24:18Speaker 1: hearts this very fellow was all the while a vile
- 24:22Speaker 1: hypocrite and a perfidious wretch and helping to carry on
- 24:25Speaker 1: my ruin but he says so much of himself that
- 24:30Speaker 1: i will only sit down with this sad reflection that
- 24:33Speaker 1: power and riches never want tools to promote their vilest
- 24:37Speaker 1: ends and there is nothing so hard to be known
- 24:40Speaker 1: as the heart of man i can but pity the
- 24:43Speaker 1: poor wretch since he seems to have great remorse and
- 24:46Speaker 1: i believe it best to keep his wickedness secret if
- 24:50Speaker 1: it lies in my way i will encourage his penitence
- 24:53Speaker 1: for i may possibly make some discoveries by it one
- 24:58Speaker 1: thing i should mention in this place he brought down
- 25:01Speaker 1: in a portmanteau all the clothes and things my lady
- 25:04Speaker 1: and master had given me and moreover two velvet hoods
- 25:07Speaker 1: and a velvet scarf that used to be worn by
- 25:10Speaker 1: my lady but i have no comfort in them or
- 25:13Speaker 1: anything else mrs jukes had the portmanteau brought into my
- 25:18Speaker 1: closet and she showed me what was in it but
- 25:20Speaker 1: then locked it up and said that she would let
- 25:23Speaker 1: me have what i would out of it when i
- 25:25Speaker 1: asked but if i had the key it might make
- 25:28Speaker 1: me want to go abroad maybe and so the confident
- 25:32Speaker 1: woman put it in her pocket i gave myself over
- 25:35Speaker 1: to sad reflections upon this strange and surprising discovery of
- 25:39Speaker 1: john's and wept much for him and for myself too
- 25:43Speaker 1: for now i see as he says my ruin has
- 25:46Speaker 1: been long hatching that i can make no doubt what
- 25:49Speaker 1: my master's honourable professions will end in what a heap
- 25:53Speaker 1: of hard names does the poor fellow call himself but
- 25:57Speaker 1: what must they deserve then who set him to work
- 26:01Speaker 1: oh what has this wicked master to answer for to
- 26:04Speaker 1: be so corrupt himself and to corrupt others who would
- 26:07Speaker 1: have been all innocent and to carry on a poor
- 26:10Speaker 1: plot i am sure for a gentleman to ruin a
- 26:14Speaker 1: poor creature who never did him harm nor wished him
- 26:17Speaker 1: any and who can still pray for his happiness and
- 26:20Speaker 1: his repentance i can't but wonder what these gentlemen as
- 26:25Speaker 1: they are called can think of themselves for these vile
- 26:28Speaker 1: doings john had some inducement for he hoped to please
- 26:32Speaker 1: his master who rewarded him and was bountiful to him
- 26:36Speaker 1: and the same may be said bad as she is
- 26:39Speaker 1: for this same odious mrs but what inducement has my
- 26:44Speaker 1: master for taking so much pains to do the devil's
- 26:46Speaker 1: work for him if he loves me as tis falsely
- 26:50Speaker 1: called must he therefore lay traps for me to ruin
- 26:53Speaker 1: me and make me as bad as himself i cannot
- 26:57Speaker 1: imagine what good the undoing of such a poor creature
- 27:00Speaker 1: as i can procure him to be sure i am
- 27:03Speaker 1: a very worthless body people indeed say i am handsome
- 27:08Speaker 1: but if i was so should not a gentleman prefer
- 27:11Speaker 1: an honest servant to a guilty harlot and must he
- 27:15Speaker 1: be more earnest to seduce me because i dread of
- 27:18Speaker 1: all things to be seduced and would rather lose my
- 27:21Speaker 1: life than my honesty well these are strange things to
- 27:25Speaker 1: me i cannot account for them for my share but
- 27:29Speaker 1: sure nobody will say that these fine gentlemen have any
- 27:32Speaker 1: tempter but their own wicked wills his naughty master could
- 27:36Speaker 1: run away from me when he apprehended his servants might
- 27:40Speaker 1: discover his vile attempts upon me in that sad closet
- 27:43Speaker 1: affair but is it not strange that he should not
- 27:46Speaker 1: be afraid of the all-seeing eye, from which even that
- 27:50Speaker 1: base plodding heart of his, in its most secret motions,
- 27:53Speaker 1: could not be hid? But what avail me these sorrowful reflections?
- 27:58Speaker 1: He is and will be wicked, and designs me a
- 28:01Speaker 1: victim to his lawless attempts, if the God in whom
- 28:05Speaker 1: I trust, and to whom I hourly pray, prevent it not.