Latest / Roots Unveiled / Interviewing Family Members
Transcript
- Tina: What if the most important family record you'll ever find isn't in an archive at all? It's sitting across from you at the kitchen table, or answering your call on a quiet afternoon, or waiting for someone to finally ask the right question. Because long before records were filed away in courthouses and databases, family history was carried in memory, in stories, in habits, and in nicknames, in the little details no official document ever thought to preserve. And the truth is, every time we lose a conversation, we may be losing a piece of our history with it. So today we're talking about how to interview your relatives in a way that feels natural, meaningful, and incredibly productive. So you can capture the stories, clues, and connections that might otherwise disappear. Welcome to Roots Unveiled, the podcast where family history comes to life. As we talk today about interviewing our relatives, if you have comments, questions, or stories, please share them in the comments below. I love reading them and getting to know my listeners. Did you know that your relatives are walking talking archives? At least if you know how to ask the right questions. Before we jump in, I want you to picture something for a second. Somewhere in your family, maybe at your next reunion, maybe a quick phone call away, there's a person who holds details no census record will ever capture. The nickname your great grandmother hated. The reason the family moved so suddenly. The story behind a photo you've never been able to place. And as we move through today's episode, keep those thoughts in mind. And with that, let's get started. In episode three, I'm going to walk you through a simple, repeatable approach for getting rich family history information from relatives without it feeling like an interrogation. We'll cover who to start with, how to prepare, what questions actually work, how to record and take notes, and what to do after the interview so the information doesn't just live in your head. Or on a forgotten recording. Who should you interview first? If you have the option, start with your oldest living relatives, grandparents, great aunts, great uncles, older cousins, anyone who's one or two generations closer to the people you're researching. Even if they don't remember exact dates, they often remember relationships, locations, and stories that point you to future research and possibly to new records. When you reach out, keep it light and specific. Try something like, I've been working on our family history and I'd love to hear about what you remember. Would you be up for a 30-minute chat this week? Giving a time limit makes it feel manageable and it also helps you to stay focused. Prepare before you hit record. A little preparation turns a casual conversation into a gold mine. Here's what I would recommend doing before the interview. Review what you already know, the names, the approximate dates, and the places your relatives lived. Gather prompts, a few photos, a document, a family Bible page, a yearbook, anything that can spark a memory. Write out eight to twelve questions that you truly want answered. You don't need a bunch. You need good questions. Choose the format. Are you going to do this interview in person, on the phone, by video call? In person is great for looking at photos or other documents together, but phone interviews can be surprisingly comfortable for some people. Recording and permission. If you plan to record the conversation, ask clearly and early. A simple line works. Would you mind if I record this just so I don't miss anything? If they say no, respect it. Then switch to detailed notes. If they say yes, repeat the permission once you start recording so it's captured at the beginning. Ask open-ended questions that invite stories. The biggest mistake I see is asking questions that can be answered with a single word. Did grandpa serve in the war? This gets you a yes or no. But what do you remember about grandpa during the war or during the time of the war? This gets you a story, and stories contain clues. Here are a few starter questions that work especially well with older relatives, and I will add these into the show notes. What do you remember about your grandparents? What were they like? Where did the family live growing up? What do you remember about the house or maybe the neighborhood? Who were you closest to in the family? Why? What Family traditions do you remember? Specific holidays, food, sayings, routines? What was a typical day like when you were a kid? Once you get them talking, you can guide the conversation into a few key categories that genealogists care about. I like to think of this as people, places, and turning points. People are relationships and names. Who was the oldest in the family? Who moved away? Were there any remarriages? Who do you remember visiting? Places are more addresses, towns, churches, cemeteries. What churches did you attend? Do you remember the name of the school? Where did the family shop? Which cemetery is the family buried in? And turning points, these are events that explain the why. Why did they move? Was there a job change? Was there a flood? A fire? A farm that failed? Did anyone change their name? Use follow up questions. This is where the treasure truly lies. When your relative gives you a detail, don't rush on to the next question, stay with it. Try follow-ups like how did you know that? Who else would remember this? About what year do you think that was? Can you describe what the place looked like? These follow ups add context And they help you separate what's remembered clearly from what's been repeated in the family over time. Now, before we move on into handling sensitive topics, let's pause for a quick shout-out to a couple of great storytelling podcasts. Legacy Lore is a podcast about true crime and ancestral secrets. This is hosted by Sammy Jo. She's in season three, and this is a podcast that's worth a subscription. Also Crista Cowan's Stories That Live In Us. Crista is a natural storyteller and worth a subscription Now let's get back to the conversation. Sometimes family history includes hard subjects estrangements, adoptions, incarceration, addiction, abuse, discrimination, or events someone still feels pain about. If you sense discomfort, you can slow down and give them control. Say we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to, or would you prefer to skip this part? Genealogy is important. But relationships matter more. Take notes like a researcher even if you are recording. Recording is fantastic, but you still want notes, because notes become your roadmap afterward. While they're talking, jot down names, including spellings and nicknames, places, town, county, state, specific landmarks, the church, the school, the cemetery, approximate years. Like I was about ten. Before the war, after they married? Anything you want to verify later. Find obituary, check the 1940 census, look for a marriage record. A quick reality check. Memories are clues, not conclusions. Here's the truth. People can misremember dates, mix up siblings, or compress events across decades. That doesn't mean the interview wasn't valuable. It means you treat what you hear as leads. A family story might be seventy percent accurate and still point you directly to the right county, the right church, or the right surname spelling that unlocks a record. What do you do after the interview? When you hang up the phone or leave the visit, do these three things as soon as you can, ideally the same day while it's fresh. Label and store your recording with the person's name and date. For example, interview Mary Smith 2026 April 30th Write a quick summary of the best details you learned, the names, the places, and the why stories. Create a to-do list of records to search based on what you heard censuses, obituary, cemetery records, church registers, military records, yearbooks, whatever fits the clues. And one more thing. Consider sending a simple thank you afterward. These interviews are gifts. A quick message, I loved hearing your stories, thank you for sharing them with me, goes a long way, and it keeps the door open for future conversations. If you found today's episode helpful, take a moment to leave a quick review and share it with a fellow researcher, friend, or family member who loves a good story. And if you try an interview this week, tell me how it went. Drop your biggest takeaways or your favorite family memory in the comments. Thank you for joining me on Roots Unveiled. If today's episode gave you a new idea, a fresh perspective, or a next step in your research, then you're already making progress. In our next episode, we'll turn those clues into a working family tree. You won't want to miss it. Remember, family history isn't just about collecting names and dates. It's about discovering stories, preserving legacies, and understanding the connections that shape who we are. Until next time, keep asking questions, keep exploring the records, and keep preserving the stories that matter. Happy hunting!