Latest / Classic Adventure Books Library / 17 - Baron Trump's Marvellous Underground Journey

Transcript

17 - Baron Trump's Marvellous Underground Journey · Classic Adventure Books Library

0:00
Chapter seventeen, in which read dear friends, something about a live alarm clock
0:06
and a pseudopsy bather and rubber, our first breakfast in the city of Silver,
0:12
A new way to catch fish without hurting their feelings. How the streets
0:16
and houses were numbered, and where the sign boards were A very original library
0:22
in which books never get dog eared. How velvet souls enjoyed her favorite poets.
0:28
I am presented to the learned barrel brow, who proceeds to give me
0:32
his views of the upper world. They entertained me amazingly and may interest you.
0:38
I can't tell you, dear friends, exactly how long Bulgar and I
0:42
slept, but it must have been a good while, for when I was
0:45
awakened, I felt thoroughly refreshed. I say awakened, for I was awakened
0:50
by a gentle tapping on the back of my hand, six taps. At
0:54
first I thought I was dreaming, but upon rubbing my eyes, I saw
0:57
standing by the side of my bed one of the udopsys, who, feeling
1:00
me stir took up his tablet and wrote as follows. My name is Taphard.
1:06
I am a clock. There is a score of us. We keep
1:10
the time for our people. By counting the swing of the pendulum in the
1:12
time house, it swings about as fast as we breathe. There are one
1:17
hundred breaths to a minute and one hundred minutes to an hour. Our day
1:22
is divided into six hours work time and six hours sleep time. It is
1:26
now the rising hour. If thou wilt be pleased to rise one of our
1:30
people from the health house, will rub all the tired out of thy limbs.
1:36
I touched Taphart's heart to thank him, and made haste to scramble out
1:40
of bed. Now, for the first time, I looked about the silver
1:42
chamber in which I had slept. On silver shelves lay silver combs, and
1:48
silver shears and silver knives. On a silver stand stood a silver ewer within
1:53
a silver basin. On silver pegs hung silken towels, while spread upon the
1:57
silver floor lay soft silk and rugs, and above and around on seating in
2:02
walls. The tongues of flame were a thousand times repeated in the panels of
2:07
burnished silver. I had made trial of all sorts of oriental rubber and bath
2:13
attendants in my day, But the silent little pseudopsy who laughed and rubbed and
2:16
tapped and stroked me, exceeding the all in dexterity, added to which was
2:22
a new charm, for I was not obliged to listen to long and senseless
2:25
tales of adventure in a tree, but was left quite alone to my own
2:30
thoughts. Bulger was also treated to a sponging and a rubbing, a luxury
2:34
which he had not enjoyed since we had left Castle Trump. My toilette was
2:38
no sooner completed than long Thumbs made his appearance to inquire after my health and
2:44
to superintend the serving of my breakfast, which consisted of a piece of most
2:47
delicate boiled fish, flanked with oysters of delicious flavor, and trimmed with slices
2:53
of those monstrous mushrooms which I had eaten among the Micamenkes. The whole served
3:00
in a beautiful silver dish on a silver tray with silver eating utensils. Remembering
3:06
the strange way in which the fish were caught and killed in the land of
3:08
Amcamenke's, I was curious to know how the pseudopsis managed it, for I
3:14
knew enough of them to know that the sensation of anything struggling for its life
3:17
in their hands would suffice to throw them into fits of great suffering, to
3:22
fill their gentle hearts with nameless terror. At the end of one of the
3:27
many corridors leading out of our city, explained long thumbs, there is a
3:31
rocky chamber, which was called by our ancestors oposlop or the death hole,
3:37
because any being which breathes its air for a few moments is sure to die,
3:42
so they closed it up forever, leaving only a small pipe projecting through
3:46
the door. But strange to say, those who breathe this air suffer no
3:51
pain whatever, but presently drop off into a pleasant dream, and unless they
3:55
be rescued, would of course never wake again. Now, as our laws
4:00
forbid us to cause any pain to the most insignificant creature, it occurred to
4:05
our ancestors that, by means of a long pipe, they could turn this
4:09
poisoned air into the river whenever they wanted a supply of fish for food.
4:15
This they did, and, strange to say, the moment the fish felt
4:17
the gas bubbling into the river, they at once swam up to the mouth
4:20
of the pipe and struggled with each other for a chance to catch the deadly
4:25
bubbles. As they left its mouth. So pleasant a sensation do they cause
4:29
as they gradually plunged the creature, breathing them into his last sleep. And
4:33
in this way it is we are able to feed upon the fish in our
4:36
river without breaking the law of the land. I began to understand that I
4:41
had fallen in with a very original and interesting folk. But Bulgar was not
4:46
altogether pleased with them, for several reasons, as I soon observed. In
4:51
the first place, he couldn't accustom himself to the cold and glassy look of
4:56
their eyes, and in the next he was a bit jealous of their wonderfully
5:00
keen scent, a sense which with them was so strong that they invariably gave
5:05
signs of being conscious of Bulgar's approach even before I could see him, and
5:11
always turned their faces in the direction in which he was coming. You will
5:15
remember, dear friends, that I mention the fact that the former folk went
5:18
barefoot, and that their feet, as well as their hands, seemed altogether
5:23
too large for their bodies. And I wished to add that while Bulgar and
5:28
I were being led through the long corridors and winding passages on our way into
5:31
the city of Silver, the three soudopsies frequently half halted and seemed to be
5:38
feeling on the floor for something with the balls of their feet. I thought
5:42
no more about it until Bulgar and I started out for our first stroll through
5:46
their wonderful town, when, to my great delight, I made the discovery
5:50
that the numbers of the houses, the names of the occupants, the names
5:55
of the streets, as well as all sign boards, so to speak,
5:59
and all guide posts were in slightly raised letters on the floors and pavements.
6:04
And then the truth dawned upon me that Long Thumbs and his companions were simply
6:09
halting now and then to read the names of the streets with the balls of
6:12
their feet in order to know if they were taking the right road. I
6:15
more than this, dear friends, the first time Bulgar and I passed through
6:18
one of the open squares of the city of Silver. You may imagine my
6:23
satisfaction upon the discovery that the silver pavements were literally covered with the writings of
6:29
the pseudopsy authors in raised characters. Now in Don Fun's wonderful book, he
6:33
had, in his masterly manner, giving me the key to the language of
6:38
the former folk, so that with very slight effort, I was able to
6:41
make the additional discovery that some of the streets were given up to the writers
6:45
of history and some to story writers, while others were filled with the learned
6:48
works of philosophers, and others still contained many thousands of lines from the best
6:54
poets which the nation had produced. And I had very little difficulty in discovering
6:59
which were the favorite poems of the pseudopsis, For as you may readily suppose,
7:03
these were polished like a silver mirror by the shuffling of the many thankful
7:08
feet over their sweet and soulful lines. I noticed that the writings of the
7:13
philosophers in this as in my own world, found few readers, for the
7:17
raised letters were in many cases tarnished and black from lack of souls trampling over
7:23
them in search of wisdom. Somewhat later, when I had become acquainted with
7:28
velvet souls, the daughter of long thumbs, a gracious little being, as
7:31
full of inward light as she was blind to the outer world, and she
7:35
invited me to come for a read. I had a hard task of it
7:40
in persuading her that I could not remove what she called my ridiculous foot boxes
7:45
and join her in enjoying some of her favorite poems. It was to me
7:48
a delicious pastime to accompany this happy little maiden when she went for a reed
7:55
to walk beside her and watch the ever varying expression of her beautiful face as
8:00
the souls of her tiny feet pressed the words of love and hope and joy,
8:05
and her heart expanded, and she clasped her hands in attitudes of blissful
8:09
enjoyment, seemingly just as deep and fervent as if the blessed sunlight rested on
8:15
her brow, and her eyes were drinking in the glory of a summer sunset,
8:20
Oh dwellers in the upper world, with the light streaming into the windows
8:24
of your souls, with your ears open, to the music of type and
8:26
flute and violin, and to the sweeter music of the voice of love,
8:31
how much more heavy than she? And yet how rarely are ye as happy?
8:37
How rarely do ye know that sweet contentment, which, as in this
8:41
case, came from within. Go to the ant, Consider her way as
8:46
it be wise, which, having no guide, overseer or ruler, provideth
8:52
her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. In
8:56
a short time, the former folks seemed to become quite accustomed to having bulgar
9:01
in me among them, and they apparently touched hands with me in quite as
9:05
friendly a fashion as if I had been one of them. One day,
9:09
long Thumbs conducted me to the house of the most aged and learned of the
9:13
Pseudopsy's berrel brow by name. He received me very cordially, although I interrupted
9:18
him at his studies, for as I entered his apartment, he was in
9:22
the act of reading four different books at the same time. Two were lying
9:26
on the floor and he was perusing their raised characters with the soles of his
9:30
feet, and two others were set up on a frame in front of him,
9:33
and he was deciphering them with the tips of his fingers. But when
9:37
informed who I was, he stopped work at once, and, taking up
9:39
his tablets, asked me a number of questions concerning the Upper world, of
9:45
which he had, however, no very exalted opinion you people, said he,
9:50
if I understand correctly, the ancient writings of those of our nation who
9:54
still preserved certain traditions of the Upper world, are endowed with several senses which
10:00
are utterly lacking in us. I am happy to say, for if I
10:03
understand correctly, ye have in the first place a sense, which ye call
10:09
hearing, a most troublesome sense, for by means of it, ye are
10:13
being constantly disturbed and annoyed by vibrations of the air coming from afar. Now
10:20
they can be of no possible good to you. He might as well have
10:24
a sense that would inform you what was going on in the moon. Therefore,
10:28
my conclusion is that the sense of hearing only serves to distract and weaken
10:31
the brain. Another sense that ye are possessed of, continued Beryl brow.
10:37
Ye call the sense of sight a power even more useless and distracting than hearing,
10:43
for the reason that it enables you to know things which it is utterly
10:48
fruitless to know, such as what your next door neighbors may be doing,
10:52
how the mountains are acting on the other side of your rivers, how your
10:56
sky, as ye call it, might feel if if you could touch it
11:00
with your fingers, which you can't do. However, how soon rain will
11:05
fall, which is a useless piece of knowledge. If ye have ruse to
11:09
cover you, as I suppose ye have, but the most ridiculous use which
11:13
ye make of this sense of sight is the manufacture of what you call pictures,
11:18
by means of which he seemed to take the greatest pleasure in deceiving,
11:22
this very sense of which ye are so very proud, if I understand correctly,
11:28
These pictures, if felt of, are quite as smooth as a panel
11:31
there. But so cunningly do ye draw the lines and lay in the colors
11:37
whatever they may be, that ye really succeed in deceiving yourselves, And stand
11:41
for hours in front of one of these bits of trickery when ye might,
11:46
if ye choose, feast your eyes, as ye call it, upon the
11:50
very thing which the trickster has imitated. Now, as life is much shorter
11:54
in the Upper world than in ours, it seems very strange to me that
11:58
ye should wish to waste it in this foolish manner. Then there is another
12:03
thing, little baron continued the learned barrel brow, which I wish to mention.
12:07
It is this. The people of the upper world pride themselves very much
12:11
upon what they termed the power of speech, which, if I understand correctly,
12:16
is a faculty they have of expressing their thoughts to each other by violently
12:20
expelling the air from their lungs, and that this air rushing into the ventilators
12:26
of the brain, which ye call ears, produces a sensation of sound,
12:31
as ye term it. And in this way one of thy people, standing
12:33
at one end of the town might make his wishes known to another standing at
12:37
the other end. Now thou wilt pardon my thinking, so, little Baron,
12:43
But this seems to me to be not a whit above the brute creature,
12:48
which, opening its vast jaws thus sets the air in motion, and
12:52
calling its young or breathing defiance at an enemy. And if I understand correctly,
12:58
little Baron, so are thy people of this power of speech, that
13:01
they insist upon making use of it at all times and upon all occasions.
13:05
And strange to say, these talkers can always find plenty of people to open
13:11
their ears to these vibrations of the air, although the effect is so wearying
13:16
to the brain that in the end they invariably fall asleep. But if I
13:20
understand correctly, the women are even fonder of displaying their skill in thus puffing
13:26
out the air from their lungs than the men are. But that not satisfied
13:31
with this superior power of puffing out the words, they actually have recourse to
13:37
a potent herb, which they steep in boiling water and drink as hot as
13:43
possible, on account of its effect in loosening the tongue and allowing the talker
13:46
to do more puffing than she could otherwise. But all this little baron continued
13:52
the learned barrel brow might be overlooked and regarded in the light of mere amusement.
13:58
Where not for the fact, if I understand correctly that brain ventilators being
14:05
of different sizes in different persons, the consequence is that these puffs of air
14:09
which ye use to make your thoughts to each other, produce different effects upon
14:13
different persons. And the result is that the people of the upper world spent
14:18
half of their time repeating the puffs which they have already sent out, And
14:24
that even then thou canst rarely find two people who will agree exactly as to
14:28
the number, kind, strength, and meaning of the puffs blown into each
14:31
other's brain ventilators, And that therefore it has become necessary to provide what ye
14:37
call judges to settle these disputes, which offered last for lifetimes, the two
14:43
parties spending their entire fortunes hiring witnesses to come before these judges and imitate the
14:48
sound which the air made when it was set in motion years ago by the
14:54
angry puffs of the two parties. I sincerely trust little Baron, wrote the
14:58
learned Beryl Brow on his tablet of silver, that when thou returnest to thy
15:03
people, thou wilt make known to them what I have written for thee to
15:07
day. For it is never too late to correct a fault, and the
15:11
longer that fault has lasted, the greater the credit for correcting it. I
15:15
promised the learned Pseodopsy to do as he requested, and then we touched each
15:20
other on the back of the head, which is the way they say good
15:22
bye in the land of the former folk, a touch on the forehead,
15:26
meaning how d'ye do? End of Chapter seventeen.