Latest / Motherhood Uncut / Get What You Want with Working Mom Julie Solomon | Motherhood Uncut Podcast | Season 2 Episode 8

Transcript

Get What You Want with Working Mom Julie Solomon | Motherhood Uncut Podcast | Season 2 Episode 8 · Motherhood Uncut

0:00
SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to Motherhood Uncut.
0:02
SPEAKER_02: We are so glad you're here.
0:04
SPEAKER_02: In this podcast, Deb Ruben and I talk about all things motherhood related, the things that people don't usually want to bring to the table.
0:10
SPEAKER_02: The messy, the hilarious, the ugly, the challenging, the amazing, the beautiful, the really effed up, all that stuff.
0:19
SPEAKER_02: We've got it here for you.
0:21
SPEAKER_02: We bring to you our own personal experiences, moms, as well as some research and data that might help you along the way.
0:27
SPEAKER_02: Thanks for being here.
0:28
SPEAKER_02: Bring your friends.
0:29
SPEAKER_02: Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review.
0:31
SPEAKER_02: We've got you.
0:32
SPEAKER_02: Come mother with us.
0:39
SPEAKER_02: Hey, listeners.
0:40
SPEAKER_02: I am so thrilled to introduce you to our guest today on the podcast.
0:45
SPEAKER_02: Julie Solomon is an entrepreneur, a coach.
0:48
SPEAKER_02: She is the mom of two young kids.
0:50
SPEAKER_02: She is the author of the best-selling book, Get What You Want: How to Go From Unseen to Unstoppable.
0:57
SPEAKER_02: And she's the host of the top business podcast, The Influencer Podcast.
1:00
SPEAKER_02: She's also become a friend of mine over the last year or so.
1:03
SPEAKER_02: I did her mastermind back in January of last year when I was beginning to really dive in and grow my maternal mental wellness business, coaching business.
1:14
SPEAKER_02: And she is one of those people who has just made her life work for her in the way that she's wanted.
1:20
SPEAKER_02: And she's done it with integrity and authenticity and vulnerability and incredible grit.
1:26
SPEAKER_02: You will see from our conversation today that Julie has really committed to being a working mom in a business that is just bringing in all kinds of things for her family and her life.
1:37
SPEAKER_02: And she does this in a way that sort of makes it feel like it really is possible.
1:41
SPEAKER_02: So I hope you enjoy our conversation with Julie today.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: We certainly did.
1:46
SPEAKER_02: And we always love your feedback.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: So please go ahead and find us on Instagram or send us an email and let us know what you think.
1:54
SPEAKER_02: And we are just so, so glad you're here.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: Hey Kate, I have to tell you about this new Boulder Jewelry Company that not only has amazing jewelry, but it has an amazing message.
2:05
SPEAKER_01: I love jewelry.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: What's it called?
2:07
SPEAKER_01: It's called Leela Inspired, and it's based here in Boulder, and it creates natural stone bracelets and necklaces.
2:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, you and I both love bracelets, love jewelry, and you know what we both do?
2:18
SPEAKER_02: We love wearing different bracelets in different colors.
2:21
SPEAKER_02: You know when you stack like gold and silver and beads?
2:24
SPEAKER_02: I love that look.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: I love it too.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: Well, let me tell you, I just spent a few minutes on their website and I looked at all the different ways to stack the bracelets, and oh my gosh, the combinations are endless.
2:34
SPEAKER_01: They have jewelry that you can wear to yoga or just grabbing coffee, you can dress it up or down.
2:39
SPEAKER_01: I actually loved it all.
2:41
SPEAKER_02: You guys have got to check it out.
2:43
SPEAKER_02: Leelainspired.com.
2:44
SPEAKER_02: That's L-E-E-L-A inspired.com.
2:48
SPEAKER_02: Check our show notes for a discount.
2:51
SPEAKER_02: Hey, it's Kate.
2:52
SPEAKER_02: You know that feeling you get when you're at the top of a high dive and you're just dying to jump into the beautiful, cool water below.
3:00
SPEAKER_02: You know how good that will feel, but you're terrified and you're not quite sure what needs to happen to get you from here to there, and you definitely don't want to turn around and walk back down to the bottom because you know that will feel pretty crappy.
3:12
SPEAKER_02: Well, my 12-month Take the Leap opportunity is intended for mothers who know that they want to make a change in their life and are looking for support in meeting this goal.
3:21
SPEAKER_02: In this program, I'm teaming up with Ashley Wick, Transformational Leadership Coach, to provide you a combined expertise in psychology and transformational coaching in support of making a meaningful change in your life.
3:32
SPEAKER_02: Go on over to my website, KateKripke.com, to learn more and apply.
3:37
SPEAKER_02: We've got a discount going until March 10th.
3:39
SPEAKER_02: I really hope to see you there.
3:41
SPEAKER_01: Hello everyone.
3:42
SPEAKER_01: This is Deb.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: As you may know, I have a huge passion for self-discovery and growth, and I love nothing more than helping others evolve into their own unique ways.
3:53
SPEAKER_01: As mothers, we have a deep intuition that can sometimes feel muddled with time.
3:58
SPEAKER_01: In the Mother Daughter Journey workshops for moms, I focus on honoring and helping participants to come back to that intuition while also equipping you with some powerful tools to help strengthen that beautiful mother-daughter bond.
4:11
SPEAKER_01: I just launched my April and May group, so check them out on my website, motherdaughterjourney.co.
4:16
SPEAKER_01: I can't wait to work with you.
4:17
SPEAKER_03: Hi, Deb.
4:18
SPEAKER_03: Hi, Kate.
4:19
SPEAKER_02: It's a snowy podcast day today.
4:21
SPEAKER_03: And it's a birthday podcast.
4:25
SPEAKER_03: Happy birthday, Kate.
4:26
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
4:27
SPEAKER_03: It's my big 5-0.
4:28
SPEAKER_03: It's a big day.
4:29
SPEAKER_03: I'm feeling wise today.
4:31
SPEAKER_03: You are wise.
4:31
SPEAKER_03: You are wise.
4:33
SPEAKER_02: Oh, thanks, ladies.
4:34
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna bring that wisdom to the table today as we interview our incredible guest, Julie Solomon.
4:42
SPEAKER_02: Julie, I have, I actually met you just over a year ago when I did your first, I did that first mastermind started with you last January.
4:53
SPEAKER_02: And as Deb knows, because I've talked, she's my girl, my life has, it almost makes me want to.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: I'm feeling very tender today.
5:00
SPEAKER_02: So if I cry on this podcast, it's because it's my 50th birthday.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: But my life has changed so dramatically, Julie, since I did that first mastermind with you in so many ways.
5:11
SPEAKER_02: I mean, my work has evolved, my relationship with myself has evolved, my relationship with my children has evolved.
5:18
SPEAKER_02: So I really feel honored and grateful to have you on my platform today because I feel like I've sort of been over in your world and it's just super meaningful.
5:30
SPEAKER_02: Um, Julie, you are an entrepreneur, a coach, a speaker, an author, just like this amazing force in the world.
5:39
SPEAKER_02: And maybe you could start by giving your own introduction.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: You're also a mom of two young kids, but I want you to let our listeners know who you are.
5:51
SPEAKER_02: Can we start with that?
5:52
SPEAKER_00: We can.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: So yes, I am all those labels.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: And I I'm good, I'm good with with with labels and and buckets.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: It makes people feel I, you know, like you can connect with them and and I love that you just made that that observation because you're right.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: Those are all labels.
6:10
SPEAKER_02: They actually say nothing about who you are.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: But in some way, but they do like in some in some ways, right?
6:16
SPEAKER_00: Because it's all it's all relative.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I'm I'm good with all of those things.
6:20
SPEAKER_00: I am an entrepreneur.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: I do, I uh own a business, I own an online coaching business.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: Um, I within the online coaching business, I have a multitude of different containers and ways to work with me, like the mastermind that you mentioned.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: I also have programs and I'll do retreats throughout the year and um a lot of online ways to build and grow your business, um, which is my favorite kind of avenue to be in.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: I love to take women like Kate, who just have that it factor about them, that star quality.
6:55
SPEAKER_00: And I love to support them in cracking that open so the world can really just revel in the goodness that is that.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I believe that we're put on this planet to do is to shine.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: Hence the name in the background here.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: And um, and how we do that, I believe, is through our message and our work.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: And um, the way to get that out there is through visibility and through clarity in our messaging and in our strategy and how we actually move the business and and run the business.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: And so I love kind of both sides of that.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: I love the feminine side of it, which allows us to flow, and then the masculine side of it, which gives us clarity.
7:39
SPEAKER_00: So that's really kind of what I do and and who I serve are mostly uh all women, um, but mostly women in in some kind of coaching space or modality.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: Um, they could come from any different industry, whether it's um healing, wellness, business themselves, financial, um, the food industry, what it, whatever it may be in.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, but they're they're coming to also be a support and be a service pay-based provider for other people.
8:11
SPEAKER_00: Um and so that is that is what I do, who I am.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: Um, I am a mom of two.
8:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm a wife.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: I live in Nashville, Tennessee.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: And I'm also a best-selling author, which is fun.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you are.
8:24
SPEAKER_02: As of last year, and a best, is there such a thing as a best-selling podcast?
8:28
SPEAKER_02: I guess it's not a best-selling podcast, but a big time podcaster.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, most listened.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, it's it's one of the top marketing podcasts in the world.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, but it wasn't always this way, Kate.
8:41
SPEAKER_02: Oh, tell us more, Julie.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: Allow me to transport you back um to probably in about 2015.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: So before that, I I had gotten into corporate America in 2007 as a publicist.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: It's what I went to college for.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: It's what, you know, my my very type A brain was excited to do.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: And so I had gotten a lot of experience working with authors as a book publicist and creatives and musicians as a music publicist and just a lot of big thought leaders and got to be a part of a lot of great projects.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: And so, in um, about that time, I was doing my PR thing.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, I had I was freelancing at that point.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: I had left corporate America and agency life, and I was finally freelancing on my own and was living in Los Angeles and my 20-month-old son, Camden, who's now nine, but at the time, was happy and healthy.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: My husband was working successfully as an actor, which has been his trade for the last 35 years.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: And I was also starting this side hustle that was called blogging at the time.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: I don't really know what we call it now, but when I wasn't working PR for clients, I was out trying to monetize my blog and um and network.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: And because I lived in LA at the time, and in Los Angeles really is kind of the Mecca of what we would call like the influencer community.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: It's like the top 1% of the top 1% of influencers or content creators in that space live there.
10:18
SPEAKER_00: And so I would go out networking, trying my best to fit in and be seen and all of those things.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: But as I started to do that, I started to kind of get caught in the compare and despair of things, comparing myself to and trying to be like and fit in with other influential people that I was seeing around me.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: I was also a new mom.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: So that's that's an important piece to this story that you'll you'll know why.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: So I said, well, one way I could fit in and look the part and not feel so alone was to go shopping.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: So I started to shop.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: I would go into Sephora and buy things.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: I would go, you know, maybe get something from Amazon.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: And then I would have to show it off with, you know, lunches with my friends.
11:06
SPEAKER_00: And it it gave me this sense of belonging.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: It gave me this sense of like, I look the part, now I can go and belong.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: But there was just one little problem.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: Although my business was doing well, it wasn't doing well enough to pay for my monthly expenses.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: But then I was like, well, that's the purpose of a credit card, right?
11:29
SPEAKER_00: Like I just buy now and then I can just deal with the truth later.
11:33
SPEAKER_00: And um, so I started on this perpetual shopping kind of journey.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: And I would, I would kind of um my denial was this idea of, well, it's not like I'm buying these expensive things, or you know, I didn't really give my spending all that much thought because it was just kind of these little things here and there.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: And so cut to um, I get a call one day from my husband, and he's like, When were you gonna tell me about the credit card?
12:07
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, uh, and it was this massive moment.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: And of course, he was so upset because I had spent slowly but surely over$30,000 in two years just buying stuff.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: And it was in this moment that, you know, he was just talking and I just couldn't even hear what he was saying because I had this moment, like this meeting, this universe moment of like, what am I doing?
12:37
SPEAKER_00: Like, what is wrong with me?
12:39
SPEAKER_00: Why, why am I so afraid to be honest?
12:41
SPEAKER_00: Why am I shot?
12:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, what just happened?
12:44
SPEAKER_00: And so I had to really like stop in that moment.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: And after that, you know, I was going through this emotional pendulum of like shame and embarrassment of getting myself into this situation, of lying to my husband, of also putting our son into this situation.
13:04
SPEAKER_00: Like I had just like harmed the two people that mattered most in my life and the shame of that, like it was a lot.
13:12
SPEAKER_00: And so I had to start going down a path of massive self-discovery of what is this really about?
13:21
SPEAKER_00: And so I started to work with a life coach and a therapist and and and and and all the things to kind of help me unpack, you know, my long list of fears and my unrealized dreams.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: And all of that work in that time, it started to really show me that the shopping covered up for the loneliness that I felt.
13:42
unknown: Yeah.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: Because as a new mom, I didn't really, and I was living in this new city of Los Angeles.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't from there.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: My husband would be gone filming.
13:51
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: You know, and so in a lot of ways, I would be a single mom.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: You know, there would be two or three weeks that I was a single mom, and then he would come back.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, so it it covered up for the loneliness that I felt.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: Um, it covered up for I think the the the sense of um this like purpose that I felt was lost.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't realize that becoming a new mom meant that you had to grieve a version of you that no longer exists.
14:17
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
14:18
SPEAKER_00: And so it also covered up for that, like the grief of like my life isn't just mine anymore.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: And and also the shame that I had for that of like, wait, isn't my entire life's purpose supposed to be this child?
14:30
SPEAKER_00: And the fact that I don't feel completely fulfilled by being this child, like by being this this child's mother, what's wrong with me?
14:38
SPEAKER_00: And so there was some shame around that.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: And then also this idea of compare and despair that I would compare myself to and even, you know, try to fit in with other people.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: And I was in this comparison trap.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: And what I realized is that no matter how much I compared myself to other people, when you do that, you feel like nothing that you ever do is enough.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: So it was the not enough, the worthiness piece mixed with the loneliness and the isolation, mixed with this kind of coming to terms with what it meant to be a mother.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: And so that's what I kind of realized about six months in that my problem was far less financial than it was emotional.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: And I really had to start doing that emotional work.
15:28
SPEAKER_00: And so the more that I unpacked and emotionally kind of uncovered, the more that I realized uh, you know, where was I in denial?
15:37
SPEAKER_00: Where was I avoiding things?
15:39
SPEAKER_00: Where was I not being honest about things and why?
15:43
SPEAKER_00: And I started to figure out to see those weaknesses and to use them as strengths and to use my weaknesses kind of as these like signposts pointing me toward the areas of my life that needed the my attention the most.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: And so slowly but surely I started to do that and that inner work because I believe success and inner work are intertwined.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: You cannot have one without the other, and then be for like you just can't.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I was doing.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: I was trying to be successful without having done the real work.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: And so that put me on a path for, you know, for years of just doing layers of whatever that work was.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: But the the big real work really happened within that first year of like 2015 to 2016.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: And so that investing in me started to pay off because within that, doing that inner work, I had two major break breakthroughs.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: One was I was sick and tired of PR and I had been sick and tired of it for years.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: But because it was my degree and my bread and butter and what I had been taught, like I thought that that's I had to do it.
17:01
SPEAKER_00: Like all the shoulds.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: All the shoulds.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, this is supposed to be, this is the American dream, the debt to does.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm making, you know, 60 grand a year.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: Why isn't that enough?
17:10
SPEAKER_00: What's wrong with you?
17:10
SPEAKER_00: Why would you want more than that?
17:12
SPEAKER_00: You know, you're accredited in this, you went into debt for this.
17:17
SPEAKER_00: You you went into student loan debt for this, and then you went into credit card debt for this.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: Like, why what's happening?
17:22
SPEAKER_00: And I remembered looking in the mirror and not even recognizing the person that I saw.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: And it was just like, wait, I had just done all this inner work.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, I thought that I was healed.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: I thought, and it's like, well, that's the thing.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: When you fail to trust that voice inside you, the universe has a funny way of getting your attention.
17:45
SPEAKER_00: And for me, that usually it's always like a boatload of pain.
17:49
SPEAKER_00: For some reason, like I always have to hit the bottom of the bottoms of the bottoms to be like, oh, maybe I should listen to myself.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: So that was a huge breakthrough of you know, the PR, the way in which I'm showing up and working has got to change.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: But the second breakthrough that I had in the midst of the credit card fiasco was that I did have the awareness that there was a lot of money to be made online.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: And at the time, a lot of this I this concept of brand deals, right?
18:20
SPEAKER_00: Which is essentially a collaboration between, you know, a content creator, someone, someone that wants to create content on social media, they can work with a brand and get paid by a brand to create the content.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: And so this became a way that bloggers and influencers were starting to monetize the content that they created.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: And because of my background in PR, I knew how to pitch, I knew how to negotiate, I knew how to talk to people, I knew how to market, I knew how to close deals.
18:50
SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, well, maybe I could get started doing this.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: So that became my side hustle.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: And I remember saying to myself, I need to get out of this PR thing.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: So if I can just make$5,000 a month off brand deals, that will be enough to at least like help me take the load off of some of these clients that I don't want to be working with anymore.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: And it will allow me to kind of transition.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: So that like the$5K a month thing was my goal.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: And I just got started.
19:19
SPEAKER_00: And it was at a time, you know, this was 2016.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: So it was a different landscape.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: Um, back then it was no one really knew what was happening.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, there was no metrics, there was nothing.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: It was just the brands were like, we have this marketing budget.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: If you want to create content, let's see what happens.
19:37
SPEAKER_00: And so even when I had like no followers, I was able to monetize because I knew how I knew the back end of how to do it.
19:46
SPEAKER_00: And then I was figuring out how to create good content at the same time.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: So I started to do that.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: And then as I started to monetize very, very quickly, I started to notice that my fellow blogger friends were having the darndest time monetizing their content.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: They would be working twice as long as I was, and then maybe making a few hundred to like maybe a few thousand bucks a month.
20:15
SPEAKER_00: And so that's when it kind of started to unlock for me is like, hey, I have a knack in this.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: So maybe I could start teaching people this thing that I've started to unlock myself.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: And so that's when I gave myself permission to just quit PR, go all in on the coaching business that I have now.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: Of course, it didn't look like it does today, but I it was that permission piece of saying, like, okay, I can do this, I can do this from home because I know I want to work from home.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: I still work from home.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: I have a nine-year-old and a two-year-old.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: I still work from home.
20:47
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, as you're talking about this, I keep wondering where your kiddo is in this process because you're talking about so much investment in building your business.
20:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: What was that like to do with little people at home?
21:01
SPEAKER_02: I mean, what starting with one and then two.
21:03
SPEAKER_02: What's that?
21:05
SPEAKER_00: It was it was a learned discipline for me as a mom that my prime work hours were and still are, because I literally have a two-year-old in the other room right now, and I do have a nanny in there to help me, or I literally wouldn't be able to be on this podcast because she's two, right?
21:21
SPEAKER_00: It's not her fault.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: She's two.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: It's the reality of the situation.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: So I get the help that I need.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: Uh, no shame in getting help.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: But I know that between 10 and three are my hours.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: Like that's when I'm gonna be on.
21:36
SPEAKER_00: Three o'clock, 3:30.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: My my son's coming through the house and I'm I'm mom.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: And I have to be mom until 8 30 at night.
21:43
SPEAKER_00: So it's 10 and 3.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: So, what do I have to do to set up my life, set up my day, set up my discipline and my boundaries to be selfish from 10 to 3?
21:56
SPEAKER_00: And so that was something I learned very early on with him when he was, you Know two years old.
22:01
SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
22:02
SPEAKER_01: I have so much to say about your story.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: It is like it's it's really quite beautiful.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: The thing that really stood out for me is that you had this one identity and you were like pretty trapped in it.
22:14
SPEAKER_01: It felt probably good for a little while, and then suddenly it started feeling trapped, and you broke out of it and had, like you said, kind of had to learn things the hard way.
22:24
SPEAKER_01: I can totally relate to that.
22:26
SPEAKER_01: Everything in my life is like boom in my face, and it's time to change.
22:30
SPEAKER_01: But then you actually came into your true identity, is what I heard.
22:35
SPEAKER_01: And in that true identity is when you were like, I have a gift to give the world.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: And that is when things started to just go into flow when you were living your truth and and you sort, and it it sounds like you kind of broke out of this suit and like something else came out of you.
22:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what happened.
22:56
SPEAKER_00: And and that's the thing, and I love that you touch on that because it's not like, you know, I was laughing the other day because I was like, I don't know how, but like somehow this like bro marketer thing like showed up on my feed, and it was this guy named, like, you know, Rob.
23:09
SPEAKER_00: And Rob was like, You want to be successful?
23:12
SPEAKER_00: All you gotta do, go off the grid nine months, you and your dream, see what happens.
23:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, Dan, like that may work for you, but most of us that are living in reality have these things called lives and these things called kids and these things called jobs.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: Like, we can't just go off the grid for nine months and not talk to anyone and like build our business, right?
23:34
SPEAKER_00: So I knew that it was this thing that like I had to create the habit of really of like what I wanted my future self to be like.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: And I knew that I was a mom and a wife first and foremost, but I also knew that I had this other thing that like I couldn't not build it, I couldn't not create it.
23:56
SPEAKER_00: So I had to do what was necessary to create those boundaries and parameters to give myself the time.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, it was that first step of I knew that I was gonna need help because I had a little, you know, I had a little little and the little wasn't in school yet or anything.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: So I was going to need part-time support and help.
24:15
SPEAKER_00: So I needed to make enough money to cover the part-time support that would then supplement giving me time back to then try to build this thing out.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: So that was kind of a first step.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: And then it was that parameter time of 10 to three is when I'm gonna be on.
24:31
SPEAKER_00: And I just need to make the most out of that.
24:33
SPEAKER_00: And then if I'm given the luxury of more time earlier in the morning or later at night, and I want to use that time than I can.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: So in the early stages of building this, there were a lot of late nights once my son would go to bed, and you know, then your husband, of course, like needs time.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: And so you you do, you know, you give your time to the people that you love, but then I would make it a point that instead of just zoning off into Netflix or whatever, like I would try to do a little bit of work.
25:04
SPEAKER_00: Um, I remember even being like in the bath, you know, back then and uh because I would get my best ideas in the bath, you know, and just kind of trying to use those times that I would have for myself to really think through those things.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: And for me, I'm not a morning person.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: So it was more at night that those things would happen.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: But I had, I had to give myself those parameters.
25:23
SPEAKER_00: And I think that that also goes back to really knowing who you are and how you work.
25:28
SPEAKER_02: One of the things that we, I think in both of our individual work with mothers, hear a lot about, especially when kids are little, right?
25:37
SPEAKER_02: In this sort of evolution stage where we're like, wait, who am I now that I'm a mom?
25:42
SPEAKER_02: Like, what does this mean?
25:43
SPEAKER_02: Is this conflict and struggle between the shoulds, as we mentioned earlier, of giving all of what we've got to our growing family and our children and then feeling something inside of us that wants to exist, that wants to be born, that wants to come alive, and that there's a conflict for so many of us.
26:02
SPEAKER_02: And like, A, how is that possible?
26:05
SPEAKER_02: What can it look like?
26:06
SPEAKER_02: Is it okay?
26:07
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know.
26:08
SPEAKER_02: I'm sort of wanting to like peel inside with you a little bit, Julie, and and and and hear if you have any, like you've you've you've created this beautiful thing.
26:19
SPEAKER_02: And of course it hasn't been easy.
26:21
SPEAKER_02: And we already know the real kind of depths of despair you had to go into to be able to sort of come alive and figure out who you are.
26:28
SPEAKER_02: But if we dive into the the sort of working mom piece for just a moment, yeah, what are can you share some both bumps in the road of what felt really hard and painful in that process and also some of the wins?
26:46
SPEAKER_02: Because what we talk about so much on here is, and you mentioned it, when we feel good, we parent well, right?
26:53
SPEAKER_02: And when we're feeling lost or depleted, it's harder to show up as a mom.
26:57
SPEAKER_02: So I guess I'm wanting just some maybe of specific examples or just ideas of like both ends of that spectrum for you in that journey of trying to make this work.
27:07
SPEAKER_02: Does that make sense?
27:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: And so it does.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: And I think that for me, around around this time when I was switching, when I decided to go all in and I knew that I wasn't, you know, more time was going to be dedicated to like building out whatever this coaching business was going to be.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, I got started on creating an a course online.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: And one of my reasons of creating, there was a few reasons.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: One reason why I wanted to create an online course is because it was the lowest barrier of entry.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: Like I could, you know, I already had a methodology, I already had a curriculum through my background in PR.
27:41
SPEAKER_00: Like I was gonna create a course that taught people how to land pitch and land brand deals.
27:45
SPEAKER_00: So I wasn't doing the one-to-one, I could do the one-to-many, which would mean more money and I wouldn't have to be exuding all of my time to the one-to-one.
27:55
SPEAKER_00: So that was gonna give me time back, which was important for me as a mom.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: And then I also started to realize that I created the course.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: And within that first year from 2016 to 2017, between course sales and brand deals and some other kind of consulting stuff I was doing, and then the exposure that the podcast was getting, because I created the podcast about six months after I created my first course, I had made my first$250,000.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: And so that was amazing because not only did I make$250K and I got to, you know, almost triple my income from PR and I got to pay our savings back.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: I got to pay the 30K back and like prove to myself that I could do the one thing that I thought that I couldn't do, but it also showed me something that was huge.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: And that was I could side hustle my way to the mid six figures on my own, but there was no way I was going to surpass that number alone.
28:55
SPEAKER_00: And that's when I had to start getting really clear on the bigger picture of what do I want my life to look like?
29:01
SPEAKER_00: Who do I want in my life?
29:02
SPEAKER_00: What community of other women and support systems do I need to help me actually build this out in a way that's sustainable?
29:10
SPEAKER_00: And for some people, for me, like I always like the goal for me was to make a million dollars.
29:15
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to do that.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: And that has a lot to do with just not having a lot of money when I was growing up.
29:20
SPEAKER_00: I always thought money was this like foreign concept that I could never unlock.
29:25
SPEAKER_00: And so it kind of became like a game for me.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: Like I was gonna figure this out.
29:29
SPEAKER_00: But for other women, it may not be that.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: It may just be what is sustainability for them.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: And so I think that whatever that is for you, what I had to start realizing, whether I wanted to make a million dollars or just sit at 250,000 and be perfectly happy with that and build my life around that.
29:47
SPEAKER_00: How was I going to sustain that?
29:49
SPEAKER_00: And what kind of support system did I need in place in order to make that happen?
29:54
SPEAKER_00: And I think that that is what kind of mind and grinding and side hustling taught me, is that I'm not going to be able to sustain this on my own.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: And then that's when I made the decision to then invest in my first mastermind, which then that's like a whole other story.
30:09
SPEAKER_00: But that's when I knew that like I had to start seeking out I started to look for women who had the type of life that I wanted just from what I could envision.
30:21
SPEAKER_00: And I you never know what's happening behind closed doors, but it was kind of like she seems to have it.
30:27
SPEAKER_00: Like she has what I want.
30:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go learn from her.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go see what she because and it's not about I don't want to necessarily learn a new strategy or like how, like, don't put more on my plate.
30:39
SPEAKER_00: I want to learn how you think so I can start thinking smarter.
30:44
SPEAKER_00: Like I want to really start getting into the minds and methods and processes and belief systems and habits of these successful people so I can emulate that in my own life.
30:56
SPEAKER_00: And and that's really what also helped because it started to allow me to have a structure.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: I learned something called automation, which was a huge game changer in my business and also in my family dynamic because I could literally make money while I slept.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: And so that gave me so much time back.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: It didn't mean that I had to be on these sales calls if I didn't want to be, or these coaching calls if I didn't want to be, or I was limited to my to my 10 to three parameter to make money, because I would automatically be making money with the business, the way that I set up my business system.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: But I had to learn how to do that over time.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: But that was again, it was about having this awareness of like, what is the type of life that I want?
31:40
SPEAKER_00: What does that look like?
31:41
SPEAKER_00: Who has that life right now?
31:43
SPEAKER_00: How is it running?
31:44
SPEAKER_00: And what do I need to learn in order to get that?
31:47
SPEAKER_02: What do you think the feelings were that you were going for?
31:51
SPEAKER_02: Right.
31:51
SPEAKER_02: Like if you like when I hear you describe the the debt stage of your life, I can only imagine you talked about shame and embarrassment, right?
32:00
SPEAKER_02: Those feel what do you think the what were the feelings that you were going for that this life that you were envisioning was going to create for you?
32:10
SPEAKER_00: For me, it was freedom, security, um, authority.
32:15
SPEAKER_00: That's a big one for me.
32:16
SPEAKER_00: Like I wanted to be an authority in my field.
32:19
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to feel like my voice and my message had an impact and that it mattered and that it was serving people.
32:26
SPEAKER_00: Um, that was a big one for me too.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: That feeling of being of service was a big one.
32:32
SPEAKER_00: Um and then an ease to what I wanted.
32:37
SPEAKER_00: Like I wanted to get to this place of like, how do I fine-tune this and and systematize?
32:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is where I get into my like, and Kate, you know me.
32:46
SPEAKER_00: So it's like my like masculine side of my brain of like, how can I systematize this with the goal of having more ease in my life?
32:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: And I think the I think for me now, looking back on it, you know, I think you know when you've gotten to where you want to go is when you can look around and be like, happiness is having what I already have.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, I'm looking around, I'm seeing my healthy family, I'm seeing our beautiful home, I'm seeing the dynamic between me, me and my husband and how beautiful that we are with one another.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: And we found such a gorgeous way to communicate and hold space and just let each other be who we are.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: Um, but but it takes work.
33:27
SPEAKER_00: And it takes, I think, us as mothers and as wives, kind of appealing back the layers to those things because I believe that we control the script.
33:39
SPEAKER_00: And when we change the script, the script changes.
33:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
33:44
SPEAKER_01: I have a question for you.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: Um, I have a history, I have a long history of working with couples.
33:49
SPEAKER_01: And one thing that I know in many relationships is that when one partner is going through a growth spurt, it can be challenging for a relationship.
33:58
SPEAKER_01: Would you mind sharing a little about what that was like in your relationship as you were really breaking out of this old way?
34:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, I think that in the dynamic of that, when I was having kind of my rock bottom moment, luckily at that year, my husband was like he was working a lot.
34:20
SPEAKER_00: So he was he was okay.
34:22
SPEAKER_00: Like, like we didn't have our bottoms at the same time, and we didn't have the growth sports at the same time, which I think helped.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: But cut to a couple of years later, my husband had a massive rock bottom, and it was, and he's publicly talked about this so I can share it.
34:35
SPEAKER_00: That he was sexually traumatized when he was younger.
34:38
SPEAKER_00: He came, he like remembered that during the whole Me Too situation.
34:43
SPEAKER_00: Um, he was very public about his experience.
34:47
SPEAKER_00: Um, my husband's also a recovering addict, and so there's layers to that of him really needing to find his own recovery.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: I needing like me kind of cleaning up my side of like the codependency, let me fix him street.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: So to me, it was about the more that we worked on ourselves, like, and the more that we tried to focus on not getting too high with the highs or too low with the with the lows, that that really helped.
35:15
SPEAKER_00: And so if he was having a moment of growth, the more that I was okay, the more that I could honor that, celebrate that, hold space for that.
35:23
SPEAKER_00: If I felt in fear or if I felt like something was being taken away from me, if if that grew, like then it wasn't gonna work.
35:31
SPEAKER_00: Um, and also if those times happened, if I felt that from him, I had to also learn how to not take it so personal.
35:39
SPEAKER_00: And that's really hard to do.
35:41
SPEAKER_02: Which, which is something we talk about on this podcast all the time, and especially in the mothering piece, like how easy it is to take personally what's happening for our kids.
35:51
SPEAKER_02: I want to pull you back to that for just a moment.
35:54
SPEAKER_02: And and like, what would you say?
35:57
SPEAKER_02: So here you are, Julie, someone who's totally come alive professionally and personally, right?
36:04
SPEAKER_02: So outside of mothering, right?
36:06
SPEAKER_02: You've really created this work environment that brings all those feelings for you in your life and you're you're making a difference in the world.
36:15
SPEAKER_02: How has your willingness to allow yourself to engage in those parts of your life shown up in your mothering?
36:22
SPEAKER_02: Like, what do you get to bring with you to your mothering from that experience of letting yourself come alive outside of your mothering?
36:31
SPEAKER_02: Does that does that question make sense to you?
36:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:34
SPEAKER_00: I think that I think the world gives you who you are.
36:38
SPEAKER_00: And so the more that you're that you're experiencing that in your own dynamics, the more that you're the more that I am at least, I am able to see that, want that, desire that for my child.
36:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm also able to not make it be about me.
36:54
SPEAKER_00: So it doesn't become this performative thing of like what they succeed in or what they don't succeed in somehow has some kind of reflection on me.
37:01
SPEAKER_00: It's really, I think, about letting them evolve.
37:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, because I was given the grace to do that.
37:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
37:08
SPEAKER_00: And that's how I think it allows me to show up and get more excited about wanting to be a mother in that moment.
37:16
SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's times that I'm just like, I don't want to be a mother in this moment.
37:20
SPEAKER_00: It's not that I don't want to be a mom.
37:22
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, but I just I don't want to be a mom right now.
37:25
SPEAKER_00: Like I've got other things that I want to be selfish in.
37:29
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, but I can't because you gotta always be a mom.
37:33
SPEAKER_00: And so when I'm when I'm working at my highest self, when I'm working on my highest self and when I'm working at my highest self, I'm able to show up in those ways.
37:44
SPEAKER_00: And I think the more that I can go easier on myself and let myself off the hook and let my husband off the hook and just kind of stay in my own hula hoop, the more that all the dynamics to everything else can thrive.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm also someone who's not a helicopter parent.
38:04
SPEAKER_00: My husband would probably kind of be more of that in our dynamic.
38:07
SPEAKER_00: Like I am, I was raised with a lot of children around all the time and there wasn't a lot of resources or money.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: So it was like we had to just kind of figure it out.
38:15
SPEAKER_00: It's like they'll be fine.
38:16
SPEAKER_00: What are they eating?
38:17
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, they'll be fine.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, it was like it was just kind of that that dynamic.
38:22
SPEAKER_00: And so I tend to parent more that way of yes, I'm mindful, of course, and I'm aware, but I'm not gonna be hovering over their every move just because there's nothing about that that is like exciting for me to do that.
38:37
SPEAKER_00: It's not your DNA, it's not like I could just you know, I'm like, what?
38:41
SPEAKER_00: Like, and I also too know, like, I'm not gonna be the mom that sits down and like colors.
38:49
SPEAKER_02: What do you think?
38:50
SPEAKER_02: But I will be the mom.
38:52
SPEAKER_02: What I was gonna say, what do you do with your kids?
38:55
SPEAKER_00: And it's like instead of shaming myself for that, it's like, no, and I'm I'm not gonna be the PTA mom, I'm not gonna be the mom making the cutes arts, arts and crafts.
39:03
SPEAKER_00: Like, nothing bores me more than just like even thinking about that stuff.
39:07
SPEAKER_00: But I will go on hikes with my children, we'll go to the movies, we'll go to the museum, um, you know, we'll go outside and play catch.
39:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, I like to do more of that kind of stuff.
39:19
SPEAKER_00: Now, my husband will sit and draw and do arts and crafts all day long.
39:22
SPEAKER_00: So, again, it's a good balance of where we are with having two small children.
39:26
SPEAKER_00: Um, the other thing that I love to do is like, I'll talk to you.
39:30
SPEAKER_00: I want to hear your opinions, I want to know what you think.
39:33
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's my favorite question to ask my nine-year-old son is like, well, what do you think?
39:37
SPEAKER_00: What's your idea?
39:39
SPEAKER_00: You know, what do you want to do?
39:41
SPEAKER_00: You know, like let's let's just see what you want to do.
39:45
SPEAKER_00: And I've noticed that, like, if at least for my kids, if I give them like a solid 20 minutes of just like undivided loving attention, then they're like done with me.
39:57
SPEAKER_00: They're like ready to go on and like do their own thing.
40:00
SPEAKER_00: I love if I can just give that to them, it works.
40:03
SPEAKER_02: I love how we can all show like when we give ourselves permission, show up in the way that resonates most with us in mothering, right?
40:13
SPEAKER_02: Like, like I loved coloring.
40:17
SPEAKER_02: I hated going on like a like museum.
40:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like so.
40:23
SPEAKER_02: I didn't want to corral my kids in a museum.
40:26
SPEAKER_02: I'd rather sit down and color, right?
40:27
SPEAKER_02: But the but the reality is there's no right answer and helping having us find our own way.
40:32
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
40:33
SPEAKER_02: And you were filling yourself up, Julie, in all these other things so that you could show up and be present with them and and trust that if you were enjoying yourself, they were gonna meet you there and you were gonna meet them there.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: It's so awesome.
40:45
SPEAKER_01: Did you have a question?
40:46
SPEAKER_01: Well, I have a couple of things.
40:47
SPEAKER_01: One is um I think kids can sniff out bullshit in a second, no matter how old they are.
40:54
SPEAKER_01: And so if you're like going against the grain and trying to color when coloring is not your thing, they will feel that they're such little energy sponges.
41:03
SPEAKER_01: And so again, it kind of goes back to this theme that we always talk about.
41:07
SPEAKER_01: It's like, how do you just show up as you?
41:10
SPEAKER_01: And then what you said so beautifully is and let your kids show up as them and that they don't have to be an extension of you and they're not always a reflection of you.
41:18
SPEAKER_01: And like, I think when moms actually start to really separate from that kind of ideal, it's so liberating.
41:26
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, I have one other question for you because we ask a lot of moms this, and for working moms that we both are, it's this is a huge piece of if you could give some wisdom to those listeners out there around how you transition from work to momming.
41:46
SPEAKER_01: What are some of your tips and tricks?
41:50
SPEAKER_00: I try to have a firm cutoff time, which I mentioned earlier.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: And what I'm trying to get better at is like that cutoff time also means cutoff time from this.
41:59
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: Which is my and I'm holding my phone for those that can't see, which is so hard in this day and age when it's like, you know, even when I'm preparing meals, like the recipe is on my phone, you know.
42:11
SPEAKER_00: So it's like so much of what we do, it's like when I when I don't even want this thing in my hand, it has to be my hand for something.
42:18
SPEAKER_00: And so I really just try to keep that at bay.
42:23
SPEAKER_00: If I even if I have to be as like staunch as like putting it inside a drawer so I don't see it and I'm not even tempted to habitually grab it, then I will do that.
42:32
SPEAKER_00: I think that that's a key piece for me because everything that I do is so digital.
42:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
42:40
SPEAKER_00: And the more that I can do that, and then like what you said earlier, leaning in.
42:44
SPEAKER_00: I mean, something that my son and I have done ever since he was little, because I love I love to eat and I love food.
42:50
SPEAKER_00: We would always go to these like fabulous little lunches.
42:53
SPEAKER_00: And it's my husband could care less.
42:55
SPEAKER_00: Like he's just like, give me, you know, a piece of meat and plane, and I'm fine, you know.
43:01
SPEAKER_00: He's like a caveman.
43:02
SPEAKER_00: Whereas my son and I like we love to do that stuff.
43:05
SPEAKER_00: And so, cut two, I've been telling him since he was five on his 10th summer, I'm taking him to Europe.
43:11
SPEAKER_00: So this July, just he and I are going to Europe.
43:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited.
43:15
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
43:16
SPEAKER_00: He and I for like five days, no one else.
43:19
SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna do he loves croissants, so we're gonna do a croissant class, and you know, we're just gonna have fun, and I'm just gonna let it be about him and experiencing and exploring whatever that moment is through his eyes.
43:32
SPEAKER_00: And so I think that allowing yourself as a mom to have fun and to play.
43:37
SPEAKER_00: So many of my mom friends that I, and this is a judgment, so I will own this.
43:42
SPEAKER_00: But when I look at them, I'm just like, you just seem miserable.
43:47
SPEAKER_00: Like whenever I talk to you, there's always someone that's sick, you don't like your job, you're so exhausted.
43:53
SPEAKER_00: You're it's like I'm exhausted just listening to you talk about how exhausting you are.
43:57
SPEAKER_00: So being mindful about like how How are we describing our life as a mom?
44:04
SPEAKER_00: Like if we're just walking around all day talking about how sick and tired and miserable we are, well, guess what?
44:10
SPEAKER_00: Like there may be something to be said about that.
44:13
SPEAKER_00: And so I try to also just be really mindful of, you know, what do I want to receive in this?
44:20
SPEAKER_00: And can I look at it from a different perspective?
44:23
SPEAKER_00: It may not be the most glorious, amazing thing or experience or moment in time, but you know, can I find the positives?
44:31
SPEAKER_00: Because, and this is very extreme, but my mom used to say it to me all the time.
44:34
SPEAKER_00: Whenever I would complain about anything, she's like, Well, at least you're not sitting at the children's hospital.
44:38
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay, well, that's that's a lot.
44:40
SPEAKER_00: It's a lot, that's a bar.
44:42
SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, sorry that I can't like have feelings because you know, but that way, but as extreme as that is, there's some truth to that.
44:51
SPEAKER_00: Is like, you know, just for today, I have two very healthy children that are, you know, thriving.
44:57
SPEAKER_00: They're not just surviving, they're thriving and they're curious and they're excited and they're expansive and they're reflections of so many different things.
45:07
SPEAKER_00: And so, how can I just for today revel in that instead of always picking and finding the things to complain about?
45:14
SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of it, I don't know if it's a judgment or an opinion or both, but to me, I think a lot of it is how we choose to perceive our reality versus the reality itself.
45:26
SPEAKER_02: There's always both and right, it's all of it exists.
45:30
SPEAKER_02: And I, and I think, you know, we talk so much on the sort of psychology and mental health pieces of mothering on this podcast.
45:37
SPEAKER_02: And it's sort of like if we can acknowledge that it's all true and then really decide where to put our energy, that's where we can begin to move and shift.
45:47
SPEAKER_02: And I, and that's what I hear you saying.
45:50
SPEAKER_02: I have um, I have sort of one last, and then we'll sort of talk a little bit more about where people can find you, but I have one last um little nitty-gritty personal question for you.
46:01
SPEAKER_02: When you think about self-care, right?
46:06
SPEAKER_02: Which is a really annoying term at this point.
46:09
SPEAKER_02: But what are the things that you do, Julie, that are sort of your like non-negotiable pieces of filling yourself up so you can show up in your work the way you want to and at home your the way you want to?
46:21
SPEAKER_02: Do you have like two or three things that are non-negotiable for you?
46:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
46:26
SPEAKER_00: I first want to say, because I think that it's important because this is all relative, is that I am thankfully not someone who deals with a mental health problem or crisis in my life right now.
46:37
SPEAKER_00: Like I have no anxiety, I have no depression, like, and I know that that is very rare.
46:44
SPEAKER_00: So that is a that is a gift and a privilege, and I do not take that lightly, nor do I waste that.
46:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, I've had family members who have not been so fortunate.
46:55
SPEAKER_00: So I'm already winning the lottery just by that, first and foremost.
47:01
SPEAKER_00: So for me, because I'm coming from such a healthy place most of the time, mind, body, and spirit every day, the self-care for me, I don't have to worry about how am I gonna get out of bed?
47:15
SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna brush my teeth today?
47:17
SPEAKER_00: How am I, you know, those things just for today are good.
47:20
SPEAKER_00: So for me, it's taking that next step.
47:22
SPEAKER_00: It's getting outside in nature is like whenever it's at whenever the weather serves me to do that, that is a non-negotiable for me.
47:32
SPEAKER_00: Breathing that fresh air, moving in the trees, that's really important to me.
47:36
SPEAKER_00: I live in Nashville.
47:37
SPEAKER_00: We have a ton of great hiking and everything's so green and beautiful.
47:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, so that's a big one for me.
47:43
SPEAKER_00: Alone time.
47:45
SPEAKER_00: Like alone time where I'm not asked anything.
47:49
SPEAKER_00: I don't need to figure out what we're having for dinner.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: I don't like just alone time.
47:55
SPEAKER_00: That's that's a big one for me.
47:56
SPEAKER_00: So if that means I need to physically remove myself from the home and like go to Starbucks and get an ice matcha, then that's what I'm doing.
48:04
SPEAKER_00: If that means I'm gonna go have a facial or get a massage or just go hide in a closet, like alone time, alone time is is a must.
48:15
SPEAKER_00: So walking, moving my body, alone time is a must.
48:18
SPEAKER_00: And then for me, meditation is a big one.
48:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:23
SPEAKER_00: And I will ebb and flow with that.
48:24
SPEAKER_00: There'll be some seasons in my life that I cannot miss a day without getting on my mat and and doing that.
48:31
SPEAKER_00: And then there'll be some seasons where I can kind of come and go, but I do have to have a pretty consistent touch-in with um with a meditation practice.
48:39
SPEAKER_00: So those are my three.
48:40
SPEAKER_00: Beautiful.
48:41
SPEAKER_01: Love you.
48:42
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
48:43
SPEAKER_02: You have a book, and we're not gonna have time to jump into the book today, but get what you want is the title of your book.
48:50
SPEAKER_02: And I think you have spent, you know, so much beautiful time today helping us understand like the the the I mean, I you clearly have been so ambitious and committed and intentional in getting what you want in your life to create that kind of life flow and the feelings you're looking for.
49:11
SPEAKER_02: And I hope everyone goes and picks up that book.
49:15
SPEAKER_02: Um, you are obviously someone who helps women who want to create um businesses where they can make an impact in the world, um, coaching or other service businesses.
49:25
SPEAKER_02: You are a great person for people to know that's out there.
49:28
SPEAKER_02: Tell folks a little bit more about what you have going on and where to find you so that we can send people your way.
49:35
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
49:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, so you can find me, julysolomon.net.
49:38
SPEAKER_00: The book is get what you want, how to go from unseen to unstoppable.
49:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, I tend to hang out most on Instagram at Jules Solomon.
49:46
SPEAKER_00: So that's where I will be.
49:47
SPEAKER_00: And um my podcast, of course, the Influencer Podcast.
49:51
SPEAKER_00: If you are looking to grow and scale a business, that would be the perfect place for you.
49:56
SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
49:57
SPEAKER_01: Yay, so nice to meet you.
50:00
SPEAKER_01: Nice to meet you.
50:01
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for having me.
50:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank you for sharing all of your truths.
50:04
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that was you really brought us into the vulnerability and then into the success and the wisdom and the play and all of it.
50:11
SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
50:13
SPEAKER_00: You're so welcome.
50:14
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like, I mean, this could be a whole other conversation, but I do want to share it because I think it's important quickly before we pop off.
50:20
SPEAKER_00: But I think another dynamic to me being able to show up as my best self as a mom to my kids is because I really love my mother.
50:31
SPEAKER_00: And I've gotten to this place in my life where like I really love my mother, and I have learned to just accept her for who she is as she is, and all of the layers that come with that.
50:44
SPEAKER_00: And um, there's a little bit in my book where I talk about that she's always late and it used to drive me insane and I would take it personal.
50:51
SPEAKER_00: And now it's just like she's late.
50:53
SPEAKER_00: So I can read a book, I can be late.
50:57
SPEAKER_00: But I think that that acceptance piece for my own mother allowed me to unlock a lot with my own mothering.
51:05
SPEAKER_01: That is huge.
51:06
SPEAKER_01: That is really huge.
51:09
SPEAKER_02: It is, um, it makes me be like, okay, let's schedule the next conversation because there's so much there.
51:14
SPEAKER_02: But I think what you're saying right now, it's like we look in both directions, right?
51:17
SPEAKER_02: We're like, what do we want to take and not take from the way we're mothered by our own mothers?
51:22
SPEAKER_02: And how do we want to look, you know, what do we want to bring forward to our kids in our in that recognition of that relationship?
51:28
SPEAKER_02: And I think it's a perfect place to wrap up because of course we're like seeking wisdom in both directions.
51:35
SPEAKER_02: We learn from our kids, we learn from our mothers, and then we figure out who we want to be in the world.
51:39
SPEAKER_02: And um, I'm so, so grateful to know you.
51:44
SPEAKER_02: I love hearing more of your sort of under the underlying stuff.
51:48
SPEAKER_02: I hear so much from you about business building, but I really love hearing more of your truth and your story.
51:54
SPEAKER_02: And um, yeah, I'm just so grateful for you, Julie.
51:56
SPEAKER_02: Thanks for taking time with us today.
51:58
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
52:00
SPEAKER_03: Have a good day.
52:01
SPEAKER_03: Bye, Deb.
52:02
SPEAKER_03: Bye, Kate, bye, Julie.
52:05
SPEAKER_02: Hey, you guys, it's Kate.
52:07
SPEAKER_02: We really hope you enjoyed this week's episode.
52:09
SPEAKER_02: And if you did, go ahead and share it with a friend.
52:12
SPEAKER_02: It also would mean the world to me and Deb if you would take a minute and write a review.
52:17
SPEAKER_02: If this podcast makes you laugh, makes you cry in the best of ways, helps you feel less alone, gives you information that's useful to you in your mothering journey.
52:26
SPEAKER_02: If you write a review, it will make this more accessible to other mothers like you.
52:30
SPEAKER_02: So take a minute.
52:32
SPEAKER_02: We'd be so grateful.
52:33
SPEAKER_02: Thanks for being here.