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How Can I Set Financial Boundaries Without Losing My Friendships? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 0:37
  Have
• 0:37
  you
• 0:37
  ever
• 0:38
  said
• 0:38
  yes
• 0:39
  when
• 0:39
  you
• 0:39
  really
• 0:39
  wanted
• 0:40
  to
• 0:40
  say
• 0:40
  no?
• 0:41
  You
• 0:42
  said
• 0:42
  yes
• 0:42
  to
• 0:42
  lending
• 0:43
  money,
• 0:44
  yes
• 0:44
  to
• 0:44
  that
• 0:45
  expensive
• 0:45
  dinner,
• 0:46
  yes
• 0:47
  to
• 0:47
  covering
• 0:47
  someone
• 0:48
  yet
• 0:48
  again.
• 0:50
  Not
• 0:50
  because
• 0:50
  you
• 0:50
  had
• 0:51
  margin
• 0:51
  or
• 0:51
  extra
• 0:52
  money,
• 0:53
  because
• 0:53
  you
• 0:54
  didn't
• 0:54
  want
• 0:54
  to
• 0:54
  look
• 0:54
  selfish.
• 0:56
  And
• 0:56
  then
• 0:57
  afterwards,
• 0:58
  you
• 0:58
  felt
• 0:59
  stressed,
• 1:00
  short,
• 1:02
  and
• 1:02
  you
• 1:02
  honestly
• 1:03
  had
• 1:03
  some
• 1:03
  quiet
• 1:04
  resentfulness.
• 1:06
  Well,
• 1:06
  let
• 1:06
  me
• 1:06
  tell
• 1:06
  you
• 1:07
  this,
• 1:07
  friend.
• 1:07
  Generosity
• 1:08
  without
• 1:08
  boundaries
• 1:09
  turns
• 1:10
  into
• 1:10
  bitterness.
• 1:12
  So
• 1:12
  today
• 1:12
  on
• 1:12
  the
• 1:12
  show,
• 1:12
  we're
• 1:13
  going
• 1:13
  to
• 1:13
  learn
• 1:13
  how
• 1:13
  to
• 1:13
  say
• 1:14
  no
• 1:14
  without
• 1:14
  losing
• 1:15
  your
• 1:15
  kindness
• 1:16
  or
• 1:16
  your
• 1:17
  friendships.
• 1:40
  Hey,
• 1:40
  friend.
• 1:41
  Ralph
• 1:41
  Estep
• 1:42
  Jr.
• 1:42
  Here.
• 1:42
  This
• 1:43
  is
• 1:43
  Financially
• 1:43
  Confident
• 1:44
  Christian,
• 1:45
  where
• 1:45
  every
• 1:45
  day
• 1:46
  we're
• 1:46
  trying
• 1:46
  to
• 1:46
  break
• 1:46
  that
• 1:47
  cycle
• 1:47
  of
• 1:47
  financial
• 1:48
  shame
• 1:49
  and
• 1:49
  do
• 1:49
  it
• 1:49
  with
• 1:50
  confidence.
• 1:51
  And
• 1:51
  today's
• 1:52
  topic
• 1:52
  hits
• 1:52
  close
• 1:53
  to
• 1:53
  home
• 1:53
  for
• 1:53
  so
• 1:54
  many
• 1:54
  of
• 1:54
  us,
• 1:55
  and
• 1:55
  that's
• 1:55
  how
• 1:56
  to
• 1:56
  set
• 1:56
  those
• 1:56
  financial
• 1:57
  boundaries
• 1:58
  without
• 1:58
  losing
• 1:59
  friendships.
• 2:00
  Man,
• 2:00
  I
• 2:00
  can
• 2:00
  tell
• 2:00
  you
• 2:00
  this
• 2:01
  one
• 2:01
  hits
• 2:01
  close
• 2:01
  to
• 2:02
  home
• 2:02
  for
• 2:02
  me
• 2:02
  today.
• 2:02
  But
• 2:02
  I
• 2:02
  got
• 2:03
  this
• 2:03
  question
• 2:04
  and
• 2:04
  I
• 2:04
  said,
• 2:04
  this
• 2:04
  is
• 2:05
  perfect
• 2:05
  for
• 2:05
  the
• 2:05
  show.
• 2:06
  Listener
• 2:07
  writes
• 2:07
  this,
• 2:07
  Ralph.
• 2:08
  Every
• 2:09
  time
• 2:09
  a
• 2:09
  friend
• 2:09
  asks
• 2:10
  for
• 2:10
  financial
• 2:10
  help
• 2:11
  or
• 2:11
  wants
• 2:11
  to
• 2:11
  do
• 2:12
  something
• 2:12
  costly,
• 2:13
  I
• 2:14
  say
• 2:14
  yes
• 2:15
  because
• 2:15
  I
• 2:15
  don't
• 2:15
  want
• 2:15
  to
• 2:16
  seem
• 2:16
  like
• 2:16
  I
• 2:16
  don't
• 2:16
  care.
• 2:17
  But
• 2:18
  then
• 2:18
  I'm
• 2:18
  stressed.
• 2:19
  Honestly,
• 2:20
  I'm
• 2:20
  broke
• 2:21
  and
• 2:22
  bitter
• 2:22
  about
• 2:22
  it.
• 2:23
  I'm
• 2:23
  tired
• 2:24
  of
• 2:24
  this
• 2:24
  cycle,
• 2:25
  and
• 2:25
  I
• 2:25
  don't
• 2:25
  want
• 2:26
  to
• 2:26
  resent
• 2:26
  the
• 2:26
  people
• 2:26
  that
• 2:27
  I
• 2:27
  love.
• 2:28
  How
• 2:28
  do
• 2:28
  I
• 2:29
  say
• 2:29
  no
• 2:29
  in
• 2:29
  a
• 2:29
  way
• 2:30
  that's
• 2:30
  still
• 2:30
  kind
• 2:31
  and
• 2:31
  loving?
• 2:32
  I
• 2:32
  need
• 2:33
  boundaries,
• 2:33
  Ralph.
• 2:34
  But
• 2:34
  I'm
• 2:35
  scared
• 2:35
  of
• 2:35
  becoming
• 2:35
  someone
• 2:36
  who
• 2:36
  just
• 2:36
  doesn't
• 2:37
  help
• 2:37
  anyone.
• 2:39
  It's
• 2:40
  a
• 2:40
  lot
• 2:40
  of
• 2:40
  weight
• 2:40
  in
• 2:40
  that
• 2:41
  question.
• 2:42
  And
• 2:42
  I
• 2:42
  think
• 2:42
  about
• 2:42
  how
• 2:43
  much
• 2:43
  stress
• 2:43
  it's
• 2:44
  put
• 2:44
  on
• 2:44
  people.
• 2:44
  And
• 2:45
  I
• 2:45
  think
• 2:45
  of
• 2:45
  my
• 2:45
  own
• 2:45
  family,
• 2:46
  the
• 2:46
  own.
• 2:46
  My
• 2:47
  own
• 2:47
  interactions
• 2:48
  with
• 2:48
  people.
• 2:49
  So
• 2:49
  I
• 2:49
  want
• 2:49
  to
• 2:49
  start
• 2:49
  off
• 2:50
  by
• 2:50
  saying
• 2:50
  something
• 2:50
  rather
• 2:51
  bold,
• 2:52
  and
• 2:52
  that's
• 2:53
  boundaries
• 2:53
  protect
• 2:54
  relationships.
• 2:56
  They
• 2:56
  don't
• 2:56
  destroy
• 2:56
  them.
• 2:57
  We
• 2:57
  got
• 2:57
  to
• 2:57
  start
• 2:57
  there.
• 2:58
  Those
• 2:59
  boundaries
• 2:59
  are
• 3:00
  going
• 3:00
  to
• 3:00
  actually
• 3:00
  protect
• 3:01
  the
• 3:01
  relationship
• 3:02
  and
• 3:02
  not
• 3:02
  destroy
• 3:03
  them.
• 3:04
  Because
• 3:04
  what
• 3:04
  I
• 3:05
  have
• 3:05
  learned,
• 3:05
  friend,
• 3:05
  and
• 3:05
  you're
• 3:06
  hearing
• 3:06
  this,
• 3:06
  too,
• 3:07
  resentment
• 3:08
  grows
• 3:08
  when
• 3:09
  generosity
• 3:10
  outruns
• 3:10
  wisdom.
• 3:11
  Just
• 3:11
  think
• 3:12
  of
• 3:12
  it
• 3:12
  as
• 3:12
  a
• 3:12
  race.
• 3:13
  You
• 3:13
  got
• 3:13
  generosity
• 3:14
  on
• 3:14
  one
• 3:14
  side
• 3:15
  and
• 3:15
  wisdom
• 3:16
  on
• 3:16
  the
• 3:16
  other.
• 3:17
  If
• 3:17
  that
• 3:17
  generosity
• 3:18
  is
• 3:18
  always
• 3:19
  out
• 3:19
  in
• 3:19
  front,
• 3:20
  you're
• 3:20
  going
• 3:20
  to
• 3:20
  build
• 3:21
  resentment.
• 3:22
  And
• 3:22
  if
• 3:22
  you
• 3:23
  say
• 3:23
  yes
• 3:23
  to
• 3:23
  everything,
• 3:25
  and
• 3:25
  trust
• 3:25
  me,
• 3:25
  if
• 3:25
  you're
• 3:26
  a
• 3:26
  parent,
• 3:26
  you
• 3:26
  might
• 3:27
  understand
• 3:27
  where
• 3:27
  I'm
• 3:27
  going
• 3:28
  here.
• 3:28
  Saying
• 3:29
  yes
• 3:29
  to
• 3:29
  everything
• 3:30
  is
• 3:30
  not
• 3:30
  love.
• 3:31
  Many
• 3:32
  times
• 3:32
  it's
• 3:32
  done
• 3:32
  out
• 3:33
  of
• 3:33
  fear.
• 3:34
  You're
• 3:34
  so
• 3:34
  afraid
• 3:35
  you're
• 3:35
  going
• 3:35
  to
• 3:35
  disappoint
• 3:36
  somebody,
• 3:36
  you're
• 3:37
  going
• 3:37
  to
• 3:37
  lose
• 3:37
  that
• 3:37
  connection.
• 3:39
  Or
• 3:39
  maybe
• 3:39
  you
• 3:39
  fear
• 3:40
  you're
• 3:40
  going
• 3:40
  to
• 3:40
  be
• 3:40
  misunderstood.
• 3:42
  So
• 3:42
  on
• 3:43
  today's
• 3:43
  show,
• 3:43
  I
• 3:43
  want
• 3:43
  to
• 3:44
  build
• 3:44
  healthy
• 3:44
  courage
• 3:45
  to
• 3:45
  make
• 3:46
  this
• 3:46
  work
• 3:46
  in
• 3:47
  a
• 3:47
  healthy
• 3:47
  way
• 3:48
  where
• 3:48
  you
• 3:48
  can
• 3:49
  set
• 3:49
  a
• 3:49
  good
• 3:49
  boundary.
• 3:51
  The
• 3:51
  best
• 3:51
  way
• 3:51
  to
• 3:51
  do
• 3:52
  that.
• 3:52
  Number
• 3:52
  one
• 3:52
  thing,
• 3:53
  decide
• 3:54
  your
• 3:54
  limit
• 3:54
  before
• 3:55
  you're
• 3:55
  even
• 3:55
  asked.
• 3:57
  Because
• 3:57
  here's
• 3:57
  the
• 3:57
  problem.
• 3:57
  If
• 3:58
  you
• 3:58
  wait
• 3:58
  until
• 3:58
  the
• 3:59
  moment,
• 4:00
  emotion
• 4:01
  is
• 4:01
  going
• 4:01
  to
• 4:01
  make
• 4:01
  that
• 4:02
  decision
• 4:02
  for
• 4:02
  you.
• 4:03
  So
• 4:04
  before
• 4:04
  the
• 4:04
  moment
• 4:04
  even
• 4:05
  arrives.
• 4:05
  And
• 4:05
  listen
• 4:05
  in
• 4:06
  your
• 4:06
  life
• 4:06
  you
• 4:06
  are
• 4:07
  going
• 4:07
  to
• 4:07
  have
• 4:07
  these
• 4:07
  moments.
• 4:08
  Had
• 4:09
  it
• 4:09
  happen
• 4:09
  to
• 4:09
  me
• 4:10
  many
• 4:10
  times.
• 4:11
  Instead
• 4:12
  of
• 4:12
  being
• 4:13
  there,
• 4:13
  choose
• 4:14
  an
• 4:14
  advance.
• 4:16
  Maybe
• 4:16
  you
• 4:16
  have
• 4:16
  a
• 4:17
  monthly
• 4:17
  helping
• 4:17
  others
• 4:18
  fund.
• 4:19
  I
• 4:19
  know
• 4:20
  a
• 4:20
  lot
• 4:20
  of
• 4:20
  people
• 4:20
  that
• 4:20
  build
• 4:20
  that
• 4:21
  rent
• 4:21
  into
• 4:21
  their
• 4:21
  budget.
• 4:21
  Every
• 4:22
  month
• 4:22
  I
• 4:22
  am
• 4:23
  going
• 4:23
  to
• 4:23
  put
• 4:23
  aside
• 4:23
  a
• 4:24
  certain
• 4:24
  amount
• 4:24
  of
• 4:24
  money
• 4:24
  that
• 4:25
  is
• 4:25
  going
• 4:25
  to
• 4:25
  be
• 4:25
  done
• 4:26
  for
• 4:26
  helping
• 4:26
  others.
• 4:28
  Put
• 4:28
  that
• 4:28
  into
• 4:28
  your
• 4:28
  budget.
• 4:30
  Maybe
• 4:30
  you
• 4:30
  have
• 4:30
  a
• 4:30
  lending
• 4:31
  rule.
• 4:31
  Hey,
• 4:31
  one
• 4:32
  of
• 4:32
  the
• 4:32
  things
• 4:32
  that
• 4:32
  I
• 4:32
  say
• 4:32
  is
• 4:33
  I
• 4:33
  don't
• 4:33
  lend
• 4:33
  to
• 4:34
  friends
• 4:34
  at
• 4:34
  all.
• 4:35
  I
• 4:35
  can
• 4:35
  either
• 4:35
  give
• 4:35
  it
• 4:36
  to
• 4:36
  them
• 4:36
  or
• 4:37
  I
• 4:37
  don't
• 4:37
  do
• 4:37
  it
• 4:37
  at
• 4:37
  all.
• 4:38
  But
• 4:38
  lending
• 4:39
  doesn't
• 4:39
  work
• 4:39
  for
• 4:40
  me.
• 4:41
  And
• 4:41
  maybe
• 4:42
  have
• 4:42
  a
• 4:42
  spending
• 4:43
  cap
• 4:43
  for
• 4:43
  outings
• 4:44
  so
• 4:44
  that
• 4:45
  you
• 4:45
  don't
• 4:45
  get
• 4:45
  yourself
• 4:45
  into
• 4:46
  a
• 4:46
  position.
• 4:47
  Because
• 4:47
  when
• 4:47
  you
• 4:47
  have
• 4:48
  a
• 4:48
  preset
• 4:49
  boundary,
• 4:49
  when
• 4:49
  you
• 4:49
  have
• 4:49
  a
• 4:50
  plan
• 4:50
  in
• 4:50
  mind,
• 4:51
  that
• 4:52
  no
• 4:53
  is
• 4:53
  not
• 4:53
  rejection,
• 4:54
  it's
• 4:54
  actually
• 4:55
  clarity.
• 4:57
  The
• 4:57
  second
• 4:57
  step
• 4:57
  to
• 4:58
  this
• 4:59
  is
• 4:59
  you've
• 4:59
  got
• 4:59
  to
• 5:00
  separate
• 5:00
  helping
• 5:01
  from
• 5:01
  rescuing.
• 5:02
  A
• 5:02
  lot
• 5:03
  of
• 5:03
  us
• 5:03
  get
• 5:03
  torn
• 5:03
  up
• 5:03
  in
• 5:04
  that.
• 5:04
  We
• 5:04
  get
• 5:04
  mixed
• 5:04
  up
• 5:04
  in
• 5:05
  that
• 5:05
  one.
• 5:06
  Helping
• 5:07
  support
• 5:07
  someone's
• 5:08
  effort.
• 5:09
  It's
• 5:09
  okay
• 5:10
  to
• 5:10
  help
• 5:10
  somebody
• 5:11
  if
• 5:12
  they're
• 5:12
  helping
• 5:12
  themselves.
• 5:12
  You
• 5:13
  hear
• 5:13
  that
• 5:13
  all
• 5:13
  the
• 5:13
  time.
• 5:13
  Well,
• 5:14
  help
• 5:14
  yourself
• 5:14
  and
• 5:14
  I'll
• 5:15
  help
• 5:15
  you
• 5:15
  out.
• 5:15
  Sure,
• 5:15
  that's
• 5:16
  great.
• 5:17
  But
• 5:17
  rescuing
• 5:18
  by
• 5:18
  its
• 5:18
  very
• 5:19
  nature
• 5:19
  removes
• 5:20
  their
• 5:20
  responsibility.
• 5:22
  We
• 5:22
  don't
• 5:22
  want
• 5:22
  to
• 5:22
  do
• 5:23
  that.
• 5:24
  So
• 5:24
  ask
• 5:24
  yourself
• 5:25
  this,
• 5:25
  am
• 5:26
  I
• 5:26
  supporting
• 5:26
  growth
• 5:27
  or
• 5:28
  am
• 5:28
  I
• 5:28
  just
• 5:28
  delaying
• 5:28
  accountability?
• 5:31
  It's
• 5:31
  a
• 5:31
  tough
• 5:32
  question,
• 5:32
  isn't
• 5:32
  it?
• 5:32
  Because
• 5:33
  you
• 5:33
  can
• 5:33
  care
• 5:33
  deeply
• 5:34
  without
• 5:35
  carrying
• 5:36
  everything
• 5:36
  for
• 5:36
  everybody
• 5:37
  else.
• 5:38
  Here's
• 5:39
  another
• 5:39
  key
• 5:39
  component
• 5:40
  to
• 5:40
  this.
• 5:41
  You've
• 5:41
  got
• 5:42
  to
• 5:42
  use
• 5:42
  kind
• 5:43
  but
• 5:43
  firm
• 5:44
  language.
• 5:45
  This
• 5:45
  isn't
• 5:46
  the
• 5:46
  time
• 5:46
  to
• 5:46
  give
• 5:46
  some
• 5:47
  long
• 5:47
  drawn
• 5:47
  out
• 5:48
  speech.
• 5:48
  That's
• 5:48
  the
• 5:48
  thing,
• 5:48
  I
• 5:48
  think
• 5:49
  a
• 5:49
  lot
• 5:49
  of
• 5:49
  people
• 5:49
  do.
• 5:50
  When
• 5:50
  somebody
• 5:51
  asks,
• 5:51
  hey,
• 5:51
  can
• 5:51
  I
• 5:51
  borrow
• 5:52
  that?
• 5:52
  Can
• 5:52
  you
• 5:52
  loan
• 5:53
  me
• 5:53
  a
• 5:53
  couple
• 5:53
  dollars?
• 5:53
  They
• 5:54
  go
• 5:54
  into
• 5:54
  a
• 5:55
  three
• 5:55
  minute
• 5:55
  dissertation,
• 5:56
  some
• 5:56
  long
• 5:57
  speech.
• 5:58
  It
• 5:58
  doesn't
• 5:59
  work.
• 5:59
  It
• 5:59
  just
• 6:00
  makes
• 6:00
  you
• 6:00
  feel
• 6:00
  guilty.
• 6:01
  It
• 6:01
  makes
• 6:01
  the
• 6:02
  other
• 6:02
  person
• 6:02
  not
• 6:03
  understand
• 6:03
  where
• 6:03
  you're
• 6:03
  going.
• 6:04
  Try
• 6:04
  this
• 6:04
  instead.
• 6:05
  I
• 6:05
  love
• 6:05
  this
• 6:05
  one.
• 6:06
  I
• 6:06
  care
• 6:06
  about
• 6:07
  you.
• 6:08
  Start
• 6:08
  there.
• 6:08
  I
• 6:08
  care
• 6:09
  about
• 6:09
  you.
• 6:09
  But
• 6:10
  that's
• 6:10
  not
• 6:10
  something
• 6:10
  I
• 6:10
  can
• 6:11
  do
• 6:11
  right
• 6:12
  now.
• 6:13
  You
• 6:13
  see
• 6:13
  what
• 6:13
  I
• 6:13
  did
• 6:14
  there?
• 6:14
  You're
• 6:15
  reinforcing.
• 6:15
  I
• 6:16
  care
• 6:16
  about
• 6:16
  you,
• 6:17
  but
• 6:17
  I
• 6:18
  can't
• 6:18
  do
• 6:18
  that
• 6:18
  for
• 6:18
  you
• 6:18
  right
• 6:18
  now.
• 6:19
  That
• 6:19
  doesn't
• 6:19
  mean
• 6:19
  you'll
• 6:19
  never
• 6:20
  do
• 6:20
  it
• 6:20
  for
• 6:20
  them.
• 6:20
  Because
• 6:21
  maybe
• 6:21
  you
• 6:21
  Give
• 6:21
  them
• 6:22
  an
• 6:22
  opportunity
• 6:23
  to
• 6:23
  do
• 6:23
  something
• 6:24
  for
• 6:24
  themselves.
• 6:25
  Or
• 6:25
  maybe
• 6:25
  you
• 6:26
  say
• 6:26
  this,
• 6:26
  you
• 6:27
  know
• 6:27
  what?
• 6:27
  It's
• 6:27
  not
• 6:27
  in
• 6:27
  my
• 6:28
  budget,
• 6:29
  but
• 6:29
  I'd
• 6:29
  still
• 6:29
  love
• 6:29
  to
• 6:30
  spend
• 6:30
  time
• 6:30
  together
• 6:30
  with
• 6:31
  you.
• 6:32
  Just
• 6:32
  make
• 6:32
  it
• 6:32
  simple,
• 6:33
  make
• 6:34
  it
• 6:34
  honest.
• 6:34
  You
• 6:34
  notice
• 6:35
  both
• 6:35
  of
• 6:35
  those
• 6:35
  are
• 6:36
  kind.
• 6:38
  You're
• 6:38
  not
• 6:38
  required
• 6:39
  to
• 6:39
  explain
• 6:39
  your
• 6:40
  entire
• 6:40
  financial
• 6:40
  situation
• 6:41
  to
• 6:41
  everybody.
• 6:42
  You
• 6:43
  don't
• 6:43
  have
• 6:43
  to
• 6:43
  say
• 6:43
  to
• 6:43
  somebody,
• 6:44
  well,
• 6:44
  right
• 6:44
  now,
• 6:44
  things
• 6:44
  are
• 6:45
  tight
• 6:45
  for
• 6:45
  me.
• 6:45
  Honestly,
• 6:46
  it's
• 6:46
  none
• 6:46
  of
• 6:46
  their
• 6:46
  business.
• 6:48
  You
• 6:48
  can
• 6:48
  be
• 6:48
  firm,
• 6:49
  but
• 6:49
  you
• 6:50
  can
• 6:50
  be
• 6:50
  loving
• 6:50
  and
• 6:50
  do
• 6:50
  that.
• 6:51
  Now,
• 6:52
  while
• 6:52
  you're
• 6:52
  doing
• 6:52
  that,
• 6:53
  one
• 6:53
  of
• 6:53
  the
• 6:53
  things
• 6:53
  that
• 6:53
  I
• 6:53
  love
• 6:54
  to
• 6:54
  do
• 6:54
  is
• 6:54
  offer
• 6:55
  an
• 6:55
  alternative
• 6:56
  when
• 6:56
  it's
• 6:56
  possible.
• 6:58
  Maybe
• 6:58
  you
• 6:58
  can't
• 6:58
  afford
• 6:58
  a
• 6:59
  dinner
• 6:59
  out,
• 7:00
  but
• 7:00
  you
• 7:00
  could
• 7:00
  suggest
• 7:00
  a
• 7:01
  coffee
• 7:01
  at
• 7:01
  home
• 7:02
  or
• 7:02
  maybe
• 7:02
  a
• 7:02
  walk
• 7:03
  at
• 7:03
  the
• 7:03
  park
• 7:03
  or
• 7:04
  be
• 7:04
  a
• 7:04
  free
• 7:04
  game
• 7:05
  night.
• 7:07
  Maybe
• 7:07
  you're
• 7:07
  not
• 7:07
  in
• 7:07
  a
• 7:07
  place
• 7:08
  to
• 7:08
  lend
• 7:08
  money
• 7:08
  or.
• 7:08
  Like
• 7:09
  I
• 7:09
  said,
• 7:09
  I
• 7:09
  don't
• 7:09
  like
• 7:09
  to
• 7:09
  lend.
• 7:10
  I
• 7:10
  like
• 7:10
  to
• 7:10
  give.
• 7:10
  But
• 7:10
  if
• 7:11
  you
• 7:11
  can't
• 7:11
  lend
• 7:11
  money,
• 7:12
  maybe
• 7:12
  you
• 7:12
  sit
• 7:13
  down
• 7:13
  with
• 7:13
  them
• 7:13
  and
• 7:13
  help
• 7:14
  them
• 7:14
  brainstorm
• 7:15
  some
• 7:15
  options.
• 7:16
  Hey,
• 7:16
  did
• 7:17
  you
• 7:17
  think
• 7:17
  about
• 7:17
  this?
• 7:18
  Did
• 7:18
  you
• 7:18
  think
• 7:18
  about
• 7:18
  that?
• 7:18
  It
• 7:19
  could
• 7:19
  be
• 7:19
  something.
• 7:19
  They
• 7:19
  hadn't
• 7:19
  even
• 7:20
  thought
• 7:20
  about
• 7:20
  that.
• 7:21
  Pray
• 7:21
  with
• 7:22
  them.
• 7:23
  Take
• 7:23
  it
• 7:23
  to
• 7:23
  God
• 7:24
  and
• 7:24
  pray
• 7:24
  together.
• 7:24
  Hold
• 7:25
  hands
• 7:25
  and
• 7:25
  pray
• 7:25
  together.
• 7:26
  Help
• 7:26
  them
• 7:26
  build
• 7:26
  a
• 7:27
  plan.
• 7:28
  Because,
• 7:28
  friend,
• 7:29
  love
• 7:29
  isn't
• 7:30
  measured
• 7:30
  by
• 7:30
  dollars.
• 7:31
  It's
• 7:31
  measured
• 7:32
  by
• 7:32
  what
• 7:32
  you
• 7:32
  give
• 7:32
  to
• 7:33
  them
• 7:33
  with
• 7:33
  your
• 7:33
  heart,
• 7:34
  what
• 7:35
  you
• 7:35
  give
• 7:35
  to
• 7:35
  them
• 7:35
  with
• 7:35
  your
• 7:36
  time
• 7:36
  and
• 7:36
  your.
• 7:37
  And
• 7:37
  your
• 7:37
  efforts.
• 7:39
  And
• 7:39
  last
• 7:40
  but
• 7:40
  not
• 7:40
  least,
• 7:41
  you
• 7:42
  got
• 7:42
  to
• 7:42
  let
• 7:42
  their
• 7:42
  reaction
• 7:43
  belong
• 7:43
  to
• 7:44
  them.
• 7:45
  This
• 7:46
  is
• 7:46
  the
• 7:46
  hardest
• 7:46
  part.
• 7:48
  I've
• 7:48
  seen
• 7:48
  this
• 7:49
  in
• 7:49
  my
• 7:49
  own
• 7:49
  family.
• 7:49
  I've
• 7:50
  had
• 7:50
  a
• 7:50
  family
• 7:50
  member
• 7:51
  a
• 7:51
  couple
• 7:51
  years
• 7:51
  back
• 7:52
  sent
• 7:52
  me
• 7:52
  an
• 7:52
  email
• 7:52
  and
• 7:53
  said,
• 7:53
  ralph,
• 7:53
  I'm
• 7:54
  really
• 7:54
  struggling
• 7:54
  right
• 7:54
  now.
• 7:55
  I'm
• 7:55
  getting
• 7:55
  ready
• 7:55
  to
• 7:55
  get
• 7:55
  thrown
• 7:55
  out
• 7:56
  of
• 7:56
  my
• 7:56
  house.
• 7:56
  Can
• 7:56
  you
• 7:57
  lend
• 7:57
  me
• 7:57
  $2,000?
• 8:00
  I
• 8:00
  couldn't
• 8:01
  own
• 8:01
  that.
• 8:03
  And
• 8:03
  if
• 8:03
  someone
• 8:03
  pulls
• 8:04
  away
• 8:04
  because
• 8:04
  you
• 8:05
  set
• 8:05
  a
• 8:05
  boundary,
• 8:06
  that
• 8:07
  reveals
• 8:07
  something.
• 8:07
  As
• 8:08
  soon
• 8:08
  as
• 8:08
  I
• 8:08
  said,
• 8:08
  listen,
• 8:09
  I'm
• 8:09
  not
• 8:09
  in
• 8:09
  a
• 8:10
  position
• 8:10
  to
• 8:10
  do
• 8:10
  that,
• 8:10
  if
• 8:10
  you
• 8:11
  want
• 8:11
  me
• 8:11
  to
• 8:11
  help
• 8:11
  you
• 8:12
  figure
• 8:12
  out
• 8:12
  alternatives,
• 8:13
  I'm
• 8:13
  happy
• 8:13
  to
• 8:13
  do
• 8:13
  it.
• 8:15
  I
• 8:15
  got
• 8:15
  an
• 8:15
  email
• 8:15
  back
• 8:16
  that
• 8:16
  said,
• 8:16
  never
• 8:16
  mind.
• 8:18
  And
• 8:19
  when
• 8:19
  I
• 8:19
  got
• 8:19
  that,
• 8:19
  it
• 8:19
  told
• 8:20
  me
• 8:20
  a
• 8:20
  lot
• 8:20
  about
• 8:20
  that.
• 8:22
  Because
• 8:22
  the
• 8:22
  truth
• 8:23
  is,
• 8:23
  healthy
• 8:24
  relationships
• 8:25
  respect
• 8:25
  those
• 8:25
  limits.
• 8:28
  If
• 8:28
  it's
• 8:29
  a
• 8:29
  healthy
• 8:29
  relationship,
• 8:29
  the
• 8:30
  person
• 8:30
  will
• 8:30
  say
• 8:30
  to,
• 8:30
  you
• 8:30
  know
• 8:30
  what?
• 8:31
  I
• 8:31
  appreciate
• 8:31
  you
• 8:31
  considering
• 8:32
  that.
• 8:32
  Yeah,
• 8:33
  I'd
• 8:33
  love
• 8:33
  to
• 8:33
  take
• 8:33
  you
• 8:33
  up
• 8:34
  one.
• 8:34
  Let's
• 8:34
  get
• 8:34
  together,
• 8:35
  let's
• 8:35
  talk,
• 8:35
  let's
• 8:36
  brainstorm.
• 8:37
  But
• 8:37
  in
• 8:37
  the
• 8:38
  end,
• 8:38
  you're
• 8:38
  not
• 8:39
  responsible
• 8:39
  for
• 8:40
  managing
• 8:40
  everyone's
• 8:41
  feelings.
• 8:43
  Those
• 8:43
  are
• 8:43
  their
• 8:43
  feelings.
• 8:44
  You've
• 8:45
  set
• 8:45
  a
• 8:45
  boundary
• 8:46
  that
• 8:46
  protects
• 8:46
  you.
• 8:46
  It's
• 8:47
  okay
• 8:47
  to
• 8:47
  live
• 8:47
  in
• 8:48
  that
• 8:48
  boundary.
• 8:50
  Because
• 8:50
  what
• 8:50
  I
• 8:50
  have
• 8:51
  found
• 8:51
  is
• 8:52
  kindness
• 8:52
  without
• 8:53
  wisdom
• 8:53
  just
• 8:54
  creates
• 8:54
  resentment.
• 8:56
  You
• 8:56
  think
• 8:56
  you're
• 8:56
  helping
• 8:57
  them
• 8:57
  out,
• 8:57
  but
• 8:57
  you're
• 8:57
  not.
• 8:58
  You're
• 8:58
  just
• 8:58
  giving
• 8:58
  them
• 8:59
  kindness.
• 8:59
  But
• 9:00
  if
• 9:00
  there's
• 9:00
  no
• 9:01
  boundaries
• 9:01
  on
• 9:01
  that,
• 9:02
  it
• 9:02
  just
• 9:02
  builds
• 9:03
  resentment.
• 9:05
  So
• 9:05
  here's
• 9:05
  your
• 9:05
  one
• 9:06
  step
• 9:06
  for
• 9:06
  today,
• 9:07
  and
• 9:07
  I
• 9:07
  really
• 9:08
  want
• 9:08
  to
• 9:08
  encourage
• 9:08
  you
• 9:08
  to
• 9:08
  do
• 9:08
  this
• 9:09
  one
• 9:10
  break
• 9:10
  down
• 9:10
  one
• 9:11
  financial
• 9:11
  boundary
• 9:12
  you
• 9:12
  need
• 9:12
  to
• 9:12
  establish.
• 9:14
  You
• 9:15
  know,
• 9:15
  before
• 9:15
  we
• 9:15
  were
• 9:15
  starting
• 9:16
  the
• 9:16
  show,
• 9:16
  I
• 9:16
  talked
• 9:16
  with
• 9:16
  a
• 9:16
  friend
• 9:17
  of
• 9:17
  mine
• 9:17
  and
• 9:17
  she
• 9:17
  says,
• 9:17
  you
• 9:18
  know,
• 9:18
  Rob,
• 9:18
  this
• 9:18
  episode
• 9:18
  really
• 9:19
  hits
• 9:19
  me
• 9:19
  today
• 9:19
  because
• 9:20
  when
• 9:20
  I
• 9:20
  was
• 9:21
  younger,
• 9:21
  I
• 9:21
  used
• 9:21
  to
• 9:21
  always
• 9:22
  extend
• 9:22
  those
• 9:23
  boundaries,
• 9:23
  and
• 9:23
  my
• 9:23
  friends
• 9:24
  kind
• 9:24
  of
• 9:24
  took
• 9:24
  advantage
• 9:24
  of
• 9:25
  me
• 9:25
  and
• 9:25
  it
• 9:26
  built
• 9:26
  resentment.
• 9:27
  So
• 9:28
  today,
• 9:28
  write
• 9:29
  down
• 9:29
  that
• 9:29
  one
• 9:29
  financial
• 9:30
  boundary
• 9:31
  and
• 9:31
  then
• 9:31
  practice
• 9:32
  one
• 9:32
  sentence
• 9:33
  you'll
• 9:33
  use
• 9:33
  the
• 9:33
  next
• 9:33
  time
• 9:33
  you're
• 9:34
  asked
• 9:34
  that
• 9:34
  awkward
• 9:35
  question.
• 9:37
  Because
• 9:37
  here's
• 9:37
  what
• 9:37
  I've
• 9:38
  learned.
• 9:38
  Preparation
• 9:40
  builds
• 9:40
  confidence.
• 9:41
  Let's
• 9:42
  get
• 9:42
  right
• 9:42
  to
• 9:42
  our
• 9:42
  Bible
• 9:43
  verse
• 9:43
  today.
• 9:43
  It
• 9:43
  comes
• 9:44
  to
• 9:44
  us
• 9:44
  from
• 9:44
  the
• 9:44
  book
• 9:44
  of
• 9:44
  Galatians,
• 9:45
  chapter
• 9:46
  6,
• 9:47
  verses
• 9:47
  2
• 9:48
  to
• 9:48
  5.
• 9:49
  Carry
• 9:50
  each
• 9:50
  other's
• 9:50
  burdens,
• 9:51
  and
• 9:52
  in
• 9:52
  this
• 9:52
  way
• 9:52
  you'll
• 9:52
  fulfill
• 9:53
  the
• 9:53
  law
• 9:53
  of
• 9:53
  Christ.
• 9:55
  If
• 9:55
  anyone
• 9:55
  thinks
• 9:56
  they
• 9:56
  are
• 9:56
  something,
• 9:56
  when
• 9:57
  they
• 9:57
  are
• 9:57
  not,
• 9:58
  they
• 9:58
  deceive
• 9:58
  themselves.
• 10:00
  Each
• 10:00
  one
• 10:01
  should
• 10:01
  test
• 10:01
  their
• 10:01
  own
• 10:02
  actions.
• 10:03
  Then
• 10:03
  they
• 10:03
  can
• 10:04
  take
• 10:04
  pride
• 10:04
  in
• 10:04
  themselves
• 10:05
  alone
• 10:05
  without
• 10:05
  comparing
• 10:06
  themselves
• 10:06
  to
• 10:07
  someone
• 10:07
  else.
• 10:08
  For
• 10:08
  each
• 10:09
  one
• 10:09
  should
• 10:09
  carry
• 10:09
  their
• 10:10
  own
• 10:10
  load.
• 10:12
  You
• 10:12
  know,
• 10:12
  I
• 10:12
  could
• 10:12
  do
• 10:13
  a
• 10:13
  mic
• 10:13
  drop
• 10:13
  moment
• 10:14
  at
• 10:14
  that
• 10:14
  one,
• 10:14
  couldn't
• 10:14
  I?
• 10:15
  Because
• 10:15
  what
• 10:16
  is
• 10:16
  Scripture
• 10:16
  teaching
• 10:17
  us
• 10:17
  here?
• 10:18
  It's
• 10:18
  teaching
• 10:18
  us
• 10:19
  both
• 10:19
  compassion
• 10:20
  and
• 10:20
  responsibility.
• 10:22
  Yes,
• 10:22
  we
• 10:22
  can
• 10:22
  help
• 10:23
  carry
• 10:23
  burdens,
• 10:24
  but
• 10:24
  in
• 10:25
  the
• 10:25
  end,
• 10:25
  Scripture
• 10:25
  tells
• 10:26
  us
• 10:26
  each
• 10:27
  person
• 10:27
  must
• 10:28
  carry
• 10:28
  their
• 10:28
  own
• 10:28
  load.
• 10:30
  Let's
• 10:30
  pray
• 10:30
  together
• 10:31
  right
• 10:31
  now.
• 10:32
  Father
• 10:33
  God,
• 10:33
  you
• 10:33
  are
• 10:33
  generous
• 10:34
  and
• 10:35
  you
• 10:35
  are
• 10:35
  wise.
• 10:36
  I
• 10:37
  want
• 10:37
  you
• 10:37
  to
• 10:37
  help
• 10:37
  my
• 10:37
  friend
• 10:38
  reflect
• 10:38
  on
• 10:38
  both
• 10:39
  of
• 10:39
  those
• 10:39
  things.
• 10:40
  Give
• 10:41
  them
• 10:41
  courage
• 10:41
  right
• 10:42
  now
• 10:42
  to
• 10:42
  set
• 10:42
  those
• 10:43
  healthy
• 10:43
  boundaries.
• 10:44
  Give
• 10:45
  them
• 10:45
  compassion
• 10:46
  without
• 10:46
  that
• 10:46
  feeling
• 10:47
  of
• 10:47
  guilt.
• 10:47
  And
• 10:48
  give
• 10:48
  them
• 10:48
  peace
• 10:48
  when
• 10:49
  they
• 10:49
  do
• 10:49
  say
• 10:49
  no.
• 10:49
  Lord,
• 10:51
  protect
• 10:51
  their
• 10:52
  friendships
• 10:53
  and
• 10:53
  remove
• 10:54
  resentment
• 10:54
  from
• 10:54
  their
• 10:55
  heart.
• 10:56
  And
• 10:56
  Lord,
• 10:56
  teach
• 10:57
  them
• 10:57
  that
• 10:57
  love
• 10:57
  does
• 10:57
  not
• 10:58
  require
• 10:58
  self
• 10:59
  neglect.
• 11:00
  And
• 11:00
  we
• 11:01
  ask
• 11:01
  this
• 11:01
  in
• 11:01
  Jesus
• 11:02
  name.
• 11:03
  Amen,
• 11:05
  friend.
• 11:06
  You
• 11:06
  can
• 11:07
  be
• 11:07
  generous
• 11:07
  and
• 11:08
  grounded
• 11:08
  at
• 11:08
  the
• 11:08
  same
• 11:09
  time.
• 11:09
  You
• 11:10
  can
• 11:10
  do
• 11:10
  both
• 11:10
  things.
• 11:12
  And
• 11:12
  if
• 11:12
  you've
• 11:12
  got
• 11:13
  a
• 11:13
  question
• 11:13
  for
• 11:13
  this
• 11:13
  show,
• 11:13
  I
• 11:14
  would
• 11:14
  love
• 11:14
  to
• 11:14
  answer
• 11:14
  your
• 11:15
  question.
• 11:15
  We
• 11:15
  got
• 11:15
  some
• 11:16
  heavy
• 11:16
  questions
• 11:16
  this
• 11:16
  week,
• 11:17
  but
• 11:17
  they're
• 11:17
  all
• 11:18
  great
• 11:18
  questions.
• 11:18
  If
• 11:18
  you've
• 11:19
  got
• 11:19
  a
• 11:19
  question
• 11:19
  for
• 11:19
  the
• 11:20
  show,
• 11:20
  send
• 11:20
  it
• 11:20
  to
• 11:21
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question
• 11:26
  we'll
• 11:26
  put
• 11:26
  that
• 11:26
  in
• 11:27
  the
• 11:27
  show
• 11:27
  notes,
• 11:27
  but
• 11:27
  again,
• 11:28
  it's
• 11:28
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question.
• 11:33
  I
• 11:34
  just
• 11:34
  want
• 11:34
  to
• 11:34
  thank
• 11:34
  you
• 11:34
  for
• 11:35
  joining
• 11:35
  me
• 11:35
  today.
• 11:36
  Stay
• 11:36
  financially
• 11:37
  savvy.
• 11:38
  May
• 11:38
  God
• 11:38
  bless
• 11:39
  you.
• 11:39
  And
• 11:40
  you
• 11:40
  have
• 11:40
  a
• 11:40
  truly
• 11:41
  great
• 11:41
  day
• 11:41
  today.