Latest / Pathological Positivity / Resolve to Create – Episode #686
Transcript
- This is Live On Purpose Radio, episode 686, Resolve to Create. Now is the only time to create and live the life you love. I'm doctor Paul Jenkins, the positivity psychologist. My job is to connect you to powerful positive psychology principles that immediately upgrade your relationships, business, and mental health. Are you ready? Let's jump in. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Live On Purpose Radio. This is Doctor. Ball, the shrink who expands your life with another episode of Live On Purpose Radio. As we get into this new year, 2026, there are a lot of people making resolutions. Right? And you notice that in the title today, resolve to create. Let's get past the trifeluffy versions of New Year's resolutions that are kind of worn out and tiresome and get into an understanding of what it means to create. I am recording today's episode on the heels of a webinar that I just completed. We had a couple of dozen people who actually attended live in this webinar called Create with Confidence. And I would love to share with you the process that I shared on the webinar briefly, but then move into what it really takes to make it work. And that is commitment and courage. Because wishing doesn't create things. Choosing does. And until you see it as a choice, it's not. Awareness precedes choice. So let's jump in. And here's where we'll start. Discontent is the beginning of creation. There's six parts to this, and we start with discontent. In my book, Pathological Positivity, chapter one is titled Lightning Strikes. And in the webinar that I gave today, we used some visuals. This is an audio podcast, so you don't get the visuals here. But if you go to my book, chapter 24 has all of the visuals there for you and a little step by step guide to this six part creation process. And I do full day trainings on this. Companies will bring me in to work with their leadership teams or with their sales teams on how they're going to create what they intend to create for the coming quarter or the coming year. And so, this is so fitting for our New Year's conversation here about resolve to create. Discontent can be pain. It can be severe and disabling, or it can be very mild. You know, like a sense that, Oh, you know, I kinda wish things were different. That's also discontent. But excruciating pain is also discontent. And it's a necessary signal that something gets to shift. It's not bad. It's a starting point. My friend and colleague who has been on this show before, Lee Ann Marie Webster, actually showed up on local television. I was watching a little spot that she did for KUTV's Fresh Living segment here in Salt Lake City, and she doesn't even live here. She's in Chicago. But she landed a spot on this local television show where she shared this, and it's about discontent. It's not a stop sign. It's a spotlight. No. I love that. Think about what Leanne is saying here. Because sometimes when we encounter discontent, we put on the brakes. It's like, oh, this isn't the right thing, when really it's simply a spotlight that shows us that something needs to shift. It's not a bad thing. It's a starting point. Discontent leads us to the second part of this creation process and I've labeled this one the choice. You get to choose your paradigm. And I symbolize this one with a little pair of eyeglasses because eyeglasses are a pretty good example of what paradigm is all about. You look through a pair of eyeglasses and those lenses alter or change the appearance of everything that you're looking at. And if I gave you a pair of glasses that were tinted green, what would the world look like to you? Well, it'd be like you're living in the Emerald City. Right? The world didn't change. The way you see it changes because of the lenses you're wearing. So when you think of your choice as being which lenses am I going to put on, the victim or the agent lenses? This is where you get to reclaim your power. Because in a victim paradigm... And by the way, I'm not talking about a victim of crime or a victim of abuse. I'm talking about a victim way of seeing yourself, the world, things around you, a victim paradigm. And in this paradigm, there's blame. The big question seems to be who's to blame? Watch the news. You see this everywhere. It's not about what's right. It's about who's right. See, this is a victim kind of lens that we see the world through. And this victim lens always leads to some form of captivity or stuckness. That's why a lot of people stop at this point. It's like, well, can't do anything about it. And they go into their victim mode. I'm not saying they are victims. In fact, all humans go into and out of victim mode. And so I would invite you to notice when and how are you getting into victim mode. I I shared a story in the webinar this morning about when I went through my bankruptcy. And I've shared it here too at Live On Purpose Radio before. But the short version is here I am at the lowest point of my financial and economic life. And I didn't even realize I was in victim mode until I had an interview with Mary Louise Zeller here on the podcast. This was a couple of decades ago now. And Mary Louise, knowing a little bit about my situation, she leaned forward and she said, Paul, the troops are not coming. This lady is a six degree black belt in Taekwondo, And she might as well have kicked me. I'm glad she didn't. That would have really hurt. But she kick started me into an awareness. Remember I said awareness precedes choice? Because until we see it as a choice, it's not. And being in victim mode feels like we're a victim of our circumstance. See, I was blaming the economy for how I was doing financially when I went through that bankruptcy. I was blaming the insurance companies who didn't compensate psychologists fairly. Right? I was waiting for the troops to come. And Mary Louise tells me the troops are not coming. We are the troops. That kick started into the awareness of my own victim mode, my own victim paradigm, my own victim choice is what got me going in a whole new direction. Because until we make that choice to get out of victim mode and into agent mode, we just recycle our discontent. We just stay there. We can spin out there for years and decades in victim mode. Well, when I made the choice to move myself in... Move myself with the help of my wise mentors and coaches, but when I made that choice to get into a new mode, the agent mode, then I got to move to the third step of the creation process, which is the question. It's always some version of the same question. If not this, then what? Victims don't even ask that question. Or when we're in victim mode, we don't because it's too hard. It's too hard to turn on the finger and start coming up with some alternatives to whatever it is that's generating the discontent. This opens the door to vision and possibility. And then we move into the next step, the plan. And for this one, I symbolize it with an x inside of a cloud because it doesn't exist as a reality yet. The answer to your question, if not this, then what, doesn't exist yet. It hasn't been created yet. So it gets to be created first in the cloud, which means in your mind. This is the psychological, the energetic, the spiritual, the mental creation, the blueprint of what we intend to create. It has to be created in our mind first. We have to see it first in our mind before it can ever manifest into the world. Once we get really clear about that plan in our mind, we move to the next step symbolized by a hammer or any tool that you might choose. This step is called the work. This is where we align the resources, the habits, the actions, the physical materials to match the plan that exists in our head. And then we get to enjoy the last, the sixth phase of this creation process called the manifestation. And that's where that x comes out of the cloud and a thought becomes a thing. It exists as a reality in our world. I've had a fun little example of this just over the past few days, because one of my Christmas gifts from my sweet Vicky was a wood whittling kit. And in this kit are several little blocks of wood and, knives and instructions and things. Now I've been a wood carver for all of my life, really, since I was a boy scout. And I like to whittle sticks. And so I was holding this block of wood in front of me and I felt discontent. Now this was mild discontent. Right? And I could just go into victim mode and say, Well, there's nothing I could do about it. Or I can make the choice to go agent mode, which moves me to the next step, which is the question, if not this, then what? Well, one of the things I've carved in the past are little wooden chains, fully movable articulating chains, different links that are linked together. I carved those out of solid pieces of wood. And I know how to do this already. And so I got that picture in my mind. And I looked at that block of wood and I envisioned the chain that it could become inside of the block. And then I moved to the next one. The next phase is the work. Right? So it doesn't just poof into existence. I had to take the knives, the tools that were made available to me, and apply those to the block of wood and start cutting off everything that didn't look like the picture in my head. Now, isn't that a simple way to describe how to carve something? You just cut off everything that doesn't look like that. Well, that's a creation process, and it implies that I already know what it looks like in my mind. Then I guide my fingers and my tools to remove everything that doesn't look like my picture, and it becomes a thing. And I have I have that little chain with me here today that I carved from a block of wood. Now, that example can be applied to anything that you want to create. But here's some... Here... Here's a point that I really wanted to make today, and it has to do with something that I learned from Dan Sullivan. Because a lot of times when we launch into our goals, our resolutions, we don't realize it's a creation process. It almost becomes like a wish list. And do we have to move past that version of resolution into understanding that this is a creation project? And you'll know what to work on because of your discontent. Remember, discontent is not a stop sign. It's a spotlight. It shows you where your project is going to emerge. And Dan Sullivan, one of my first coaches, points out that we often make a mistake when we launch into this process that we demand confidence, you know, that we feel confident before we move forward. Confidence is not available before the creation. Let me say that again. Confidence is not available before the creation. You can have hope. You can have vision. But you can't have the confidence until after you actually create the thing, gain the capabilities. So what Dan points out that that what is required is courage. Well, what's the difference between confidence and courage? Confidence feels good. And I love that distinction that this this wise coach makes. Confidence feels good. Courage doesn't. And that's why we admire those who have it. Most people are waiting to feel ready. True creators move forward without certainty, with fear, with risk. That's courage. The choice, victim or agent, and the work are where courage is most required. Fear and doubt are part of the journey. Don't let those delay you. Confidence is a reward. Courage is a requirement. And that begs another element here, which is commitment. Commitment and courage are what we need upfront. And it's commitment that turns the thought into the thing. It's what allows you to take your courage and move forward with your plan and actually do the work where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. I can always measure someone's commitment by two documents, their bank account and their calendar. This is how I know what you're truly committed to. Now, you might say you're committed to it. But if I don't see it in your calendar or your bank account, then you are simply interested. And that's okay, by the way. You don't have to be committed unless you wanna create something. The commitment and courage are required for a creation process because you're doing something that hasn't been done before. You're you're literally creating something from the elements that already exist but have not been organized in the way that you can uniquely envision them. That's why you are a creator. It's in your divine nature. Courage and commitment are required. That's what brings about the capability and eventually results in your having the confidence. So when when I'm coaching people around this, they get to borrow my confidence. Why am I confident? Because I've been through the process of that... You know, I referred to the lightning strikes experience where I went through a bankruptcy. Positivity wasn't the plan. It was the lifeline. It was the creation process that I went through to address my own discontent. And because I was I was committed to that and had the courage to move forward with it, I've now created something, the positivity model, which has literally blessed the lives of millions of people. It has saved and enriched key relationships all over the planet, which blows my mind. Two things happen when you get really intentional and you resolve to create. And one of those outcomes is that your life gets better. And that is true, and it's also selfish. Nice that you get to have a better life. I mean, that's gonna happen. That's why you're going to engage in the creation process to start with. But it's not just about you. Who are the people whose lives will be blessed as you create on purpose the answer to that question? If not that... If not this, then what? I guarantee there are people whose lives will be improved because you show up and create. Creation is your birthright. It's part of your divine nature. But manifestation is your responsibility and it comes after courage and commitment. Take one courageous, visible, committed action this week toward whatever it is that you intend to create. Let's get away from the tripe, fluffy versions of New Year's resolutions that are so worn out that they just never work and become the intentional creators that we are designed to be. Hey. And I'm not going to leave you hanging on this. I I have created a coaching business around these models, the positivity model, the creation model, the moral development model, happiness. I've created these models. And positivity wasn't the plan. It was the lifeline. It was what I needed to address my own discontent. And now it is blessing the lives of millions of people. I am offering to you as a listener of Live On Purpose Radio. Thank you for being here. And I would love to offer you a free coaching session with one of my certified positivity practitioner, master coaches. I have set up a scheduling page for you to schedule a free coaching session with them. Go to liveonpurposeradio.com slash coachme, all one word, coachme, liveonpurposeradio.com. That's the name of the podcast, coachme, and it will open up a scheduling page. Now you're going to notice when you get there. Wait a minute. I thought this was free. It is. You will be required to demonstrate your commitment. I don't want tire kickers in there. That just wastes your time and ours. If you are committed, then it will show in your bank account and on your calendar. We're gonna handle both of those when you go to the scheduling page because you will pay a $50 fully refundable scheduling fee. Now, let me explain what that means. I'm... I don't care about the $50. I care about the commitment. And I would ask you, you know, how committed are you to this? On a scale of zero to 10, how committed are you? Now some people will say, I don't know, maybe a five or a six. Okay. That's good to know because I only work with tens. Either you're committed or you're not. A nine is simply a one in disguise. It just means I'm not committed. I mean, interested. We're trying to screen out for that. So if you are committed, show us that. In your bank account, in your calendar, you will pay a $50 fully refundable. I'm taking away the risk. I just wanna know that you're committed. Dollars 50 fully refundable scheduling fee. Now, how that works is you're gonna pick a time that works for you. Again, it's live on purposeradio.com/coachme. And let's just play with this. K? Find a time that works for you, pay the $50 fully refundable scheduling fee, and then show up. If you don't show up, we're gonna keep your fee. It's only refundable if you keep your commitment and you show up. Now if you run into a problem, let us know and we'll reschedule. But you show up. Okay? When you show up, your fee now is fully refundable. And we'll just give it all back to you, all $50. I'll eat the processing fees. I'm gonna give back your fully refundable scheduling fee. How does that sound to you? Now, we're also going to see if we can identify during that coaching session, what are your next steps moving forward? Those steps may or may not involve the services I offer. I'm good either way. We just wanna help you get there. So the coaching is free. We will refund your $50 or... And it's your choice. We will 10 x that toward one of our services. If you're interested in a couple of different directions that you might choose to go with us. But either way, the risk is off the table because either you're gonna get your full scheduling fee refunded to you or we're gonna 10 x it towards something that moves you on purpose toward where you need to go this year. Because we're all about empowering creators. And we need a world full of agents who are willing to go out there and create answers to the compelling problems that exist in our world, in our families, in our lives, in our mental health. Are you on board for this? We'll get behind you. Once again, liveonpurposeradio.com/coachme. That's my invitation. That's my offer to you. If that doesn't fit for you, that's great. And I'll just catch you on the next episode. We've heard it. It's time to apply it. Let's go live on purpose. Did you get what you came for? Give yourself the gift of taking real action on what you realized today. Please share this episode with someone you know would value it, and leave us a rating too. It's time now to live on purpose.