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How Narcissists act when you are going to expose them? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we'll be answering the question, what do narcissists do
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  when they think you're going to expose them?
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  When you bought to tell everything and show everything,
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  Show it all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  we'll go to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom, Welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back.
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  Yes, exposure. Y'all know one of the
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  narcissist's greatest fears is being exposed, right?
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  Like literally hate being exposed by anybody, anywhere,
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  anytime, anytime. Before we hop deep into the next
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  episode, y'all want to wish y'all early Merry Christmas?
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  Because like I said, my website, mentalillness.net is still up
• 1:02
  and running, coaching courses, support group, everything's on
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  there. Mental illness.net, check it
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  out, check it out, check it out. But yeah, narcissist, the
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  people, how do they act like, like if one of their biggest
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  fears is you exposing them, is you exposing us 'cause that's
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  one of my biggest fears. It used to be one of my biggest
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  fears. I don't, I'm not doing anything.
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  Expose your worthy right now. So I'm not, it's not a fear of
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  my mind right now. Like you want to expose me, do
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  it. You know me.
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  I'm not doing anything. But when I was doing stuff, I'll
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  be afraid that people want to like people would tell what I
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  was doing. So I would try to get ahead of
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  it. A lot of times when narcissistic
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  people think that you're going to expose them, they will try to
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  get out of head of it, right? They'll try to get out ahead of
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  everything and maybe start lying on you, maybe start a smear
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  campaign on you before you even say anything, before you even
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  show anything. Like even like y'all, even if
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  they, even if you don't do it, like some of them are just doing
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  so if you, even if you don't threaten them, you don't have to
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  threaten them with it. You can just like they can just
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  have it in their mind. Oh damn, they have all this
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  evidence, all this proof on me. They will make me look bad to so
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  many people. It would change the, IT would
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  change how so many people, you know, review me or how people,
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  how many, how so many people look at me.
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  So what I'm going to do is I'm going to going to try to get out
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  ahead of everything and make it seem like you somehow are the,
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  you know, are the bad guy. I'm going to start spreading
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  rumors about you. Even, you know, even if we are
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  on good terms right now, like the smear campaign doesn't
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  always start when you're on bad terms with a narcissistic
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  person, right? It doesn't, it doesn't always go
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  that way. Your smear campaign with a
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  narcissist can absolutely start when you're still together.
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  I think a lot of, I think that messes with a lot of people
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  because there we go. Now I can see I'm getting, I'm
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  starting to get a little cold here and whatnot and I hate it
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  right before Christmas. But so many people think that
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  the smear campaign from a narcissist starts like while the
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  relationship is over with, like when the relationship completely
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  is over with and done. But a lot of narcissistic
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  people, when they think that you're going to expose them,
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  will absolutely start a smear campaign on you.
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  They'll start trying to control the narrative way ahead of time.
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  Even if you're still with them, even if you're still in a happy,
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  healthy, functional relationship with them, they can still
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  absolutely try to start a spirit campaign smear campaign on you
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  in order to try to control the narrative.
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  So in case you come out with your truth, you're going to tell
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  the truth about me, right? I'm telling lies about you.
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  But I, I beat you to the point I've beat you to the finish line
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  or I, I, I at least I got started.
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  I got a head start on the race, right?
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  I got a head start on it. I might have beat you because
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  you you're powered by the truth. And I'm fueled by lies.
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  You know what I mean? So you know the truth is more
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  sustainable. The truth is sustainable,
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  sustainable fuel, right? The truth is, is electric,
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  electric powered, you know, lies or or fossil fuels, they're
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  going to run out sooner or later.
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  I know that's silly, but the smear campaign is what a lot of
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  narcissists will start to do if they fear you exposing them with
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  the truth. So they'll start lying about you
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  and telling people stuff about you, even if they're still with
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  you out. It's kind of, it's kind of crazy
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  how that works. But another thing that they
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  would do, another thing that a lot of narcissists will do right
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  when they think you, when they think you're going, when they
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  think you're going to expose them, is that like, sorry y'all,
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  my phone is keep going on. Another thing that they'll do if
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  they think you're going to expose them is they'll rage out
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  on you. And this would make this is this
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  is when things can get very scary.
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  Like this is pre exposure yo you haven't exposed them yet.
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  Like they can rage out of you and try to split the fear of God
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  or the devil into you before you even have a chance to expose
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  them. They try to scare you or
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  threaten you or threaten to put, threaten to harm you or do
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  something along those lines in order to, to drive this fear
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  home, in order to kind of control the narrative, so to
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  speak. They want to scare you into
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  just, they want, like they want to scare you into silence,
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  right? They want to use this fear, this
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  fear of retribution, of narcissistic rage or pain or
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  threats or whatever the case may be.
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  They want to use that to keep you quiet or to have you so
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  afraid to tell your story, so afraid to tell the truth.
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  So, so afraid. Even if I'm out there lying on
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  you after the relationship is over, you are still so afraid to
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  expose me that you don't say a thing.
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  You keep it to yourself, right? Because you don't know how
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  things are going to go. You don't know what comes next.
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  You don't know what happens next in a lot of these spaces because
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  you, you see my bad side, right? A lot of other people might not
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  have seen my bad side, but you, you've gotten a chance to see
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  it. You know what I'm capable of
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  behind the scenes. Everybody else out there might
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  think I'm a good person, but you know who I am behind the scenes.
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  You know that you've seen it, you've been a part of it, right?
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  You've been Privy to it. So it's just like they build
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  this fear within you in order to do that.
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  Like that's what a lot of narcissists will do when you,
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  they think you're going to expose them.
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  They're just trying to scare you out of it, right?
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  They're trying to scare you out of it, especially if you tell
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  them, I'm going to, I'm going to tell the world.
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  They'll definitely try to scare you out of it.
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  Not every single one of them will y'all.
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  The next, the next part, I'll tell you about the people who
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  won't try to scare you out of it, but they will absolutely try
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  to fear factor you into just being silent, just shutting your
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  damn mouth and whatnot, right? By screaming and yelling,
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  threats of violent threats of harm, threats to harm
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  themselves, which is going to kind of fall in the purview of
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  the next topic, right? In the next category, because of
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  what some narcissistic people would do when you threaten to
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  expose them or when they scared you are going to expose them is
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  they're trying to make you feel bad about it.
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  Yeah, some of them will try to fear you, scare you, rage you
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  into being quiet, right? But there are the ones that will
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  try to make you feel bad about it.
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  They will try to prey on your empathy, try to prey on your
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  guilt. Don't try to make you feel
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  guilty about holding them accountable.
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  And I know that sounds crazy, but so many people get it.
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  Get lost in the sauce of it. They will try to make you feel
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  bad about holding them accountable for what they have
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  actually done, what they are actually doing.
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  This is the category that so many people fall into right
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  here. They would and like y'all are a
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  lot of people, a lot of people that I talk to, a lot of people
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  that I coach were not were considering themselves empath.
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  You consider yourself an empath or put containing a hot
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  containing high levels of empathy, right.
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  So if somebody's threatening to expose you or whatever the case
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  may be, if you like, say, if somebody's threatening to harm
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  themselves, that's what they'll do.
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  They'll threaten self harm like if you tell the world about me.
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  I'm going to lose my job and I'm not going to be able to take
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  care of myself. I'm going to lose my security
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  clearance. I'm going to get kicked out the
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  army. I'm going to.
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  I'm going to lose my friends. I'm going to lose this.
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  So I have nothing left to live for.
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  You wouldn't want to ruin my life, wouldn't you?
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  You're going to ruin my life if you tell everybody what I did.
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  Like, yeah, I did it, but you're going to.
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  Yes, I did it, but you're telling.
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  People about it, right? You're telling people about it.
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  So. It's really your fault because
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  if you didn't tell anybody didn't, I wouldn't get in
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  trouble for it and want it. How stupid does that sound?
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  Or like that? But does it work sometimes?
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  Yeah, it works because y'all carry you.
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  You a carrying person. There's nothing wrong with
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  carrying y'all. It's just to me, it becomes
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  wrong when you allow them, When you allow them to weaponize the
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  fact that you care about them, right?
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  When you allow them to weaponize it, that's when it becomes their
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  fault. It would not right, so I said it
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  to say this right here. Y'all don't feel bad about
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  holding them accountable. Don't feel bad about exposing
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  this out. This is what happens right here
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  in the the last section. I'm going to talk about what
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  will happen, like what what you should do, what you shouldn't do
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  right, My opinion, right Expose them if you you can do it in a
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  Safeway, y'all, because so many people like you've been like so
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  many people might have been protecting them for a while.
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  You might have been protecting them not telling the truth about
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  what you've been going through. They've been putting their hands
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  on you. They've been cheating.
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  They've been lying to you. You've been protecting the
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  reputation for so long. So when they finally leave or
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  you finally leave, whatever the case may be, they get a clean
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  slate and you feel like they got away with it.
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  But then you tell your story later on when they got a new
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  supply. It seems like you're jealous.
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  It seems like you're bitter. So the timing is wrong right.
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  So I'm always a, I'm a, I'm a big, I'm a big supporter of
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  holding people accountable. But what does that look like,
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  right? What does accountability look
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  like for you towards them? Sometimes it means just sharing
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  your story. You don't have to mention their
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  name. Sometimes just sharing their
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  story, sharing your story, sometimes telling your family
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  and friends what you've actually went through.
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  Sometimes it means just stop protecting them because you
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  might have been protecting them for a while.
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  Because you didn't want to expose them, because you wanted
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  to protect them, because you wanted to be nice to them.
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  Because you want. Because you cared about them,
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  because you love them, because you wanted to build with them,
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  because you saw a future with them, Right?
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  But then it's over. To hell with that challenge.
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  Yeah, I'm the king now, Black Panther.
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  But that's part of it right there, y'all.
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  You don't have to protect them any longer.
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  What about you? Of course, use discretion,
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  y'all. But what about you?
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  What about you? In this situation right here?
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  What about protecting you? Don't you deserve some type of
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  protection? Don't you deserve some type of
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  safety? Don't you deserve some type of a
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  healthy life? Don't you deserve a chance to
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  live a healthy, happy life? Don't you deserve some
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  sometimes? Hey, don't you deserve some
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  vengeance? Don't they deserve some
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  accountability? What's up?
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  You see what I'm saying? What's up?
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  Ain't about being bitter. Ain't about being jealous.
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  It's somehow it's really it's simply about accountability.
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  You just bitter this happen. If I'm bitter, I'm just telling
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  them the truth. How?
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  Yeah. How telling the truth make you
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  bitter? I need somebody to come to the
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  front and explain that to me right there.
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  How is telling somebody telling the truth about what you went
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  through or what somebody did to you?
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  How the hell is that bitter perspective?
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  There is everything y'all anyway.
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  Y'all? They were tuned into the
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  episode. Y'all know.
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• 11:13
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• 11:24
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  lady y'all. I'm out.
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  Peace. What's going on?
• 11:32
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• 11:50
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• 11:53
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• 11:56
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