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140. Why Fun Matters · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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  Hey team, welcome to the show. Thanks for being here today.
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  In this episode, I want to talk to you about something that we
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  don't give enough credit to in our lives, especially as adults,
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  and that's fun. I'm also bringing up this
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  episode today because I've noticed, especially in the last
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  couple years in my life, that prioritizing fun and trying to
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  set the stage for feeling joy in my life has changed my life.
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  And I think it's a very important conversation,
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  especially in this day and age when people are talking about
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  the world feeling very heavy. There's not a lot of good news
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  on the news. Social media can be very
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  disheartening. So to focus on how to
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  purposefully, intentionally create joy in my life and have
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  fun in my life has become a very powerful tool to stave off some
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  of that like hard heaviness that a lot of people are feeling.
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  I'm also really noticing it in my clients.
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  Most every client in the last month has come to at least one
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  session feeling a little heavy. And it makes sense.
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  There is a lot going on in the world.
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  There are a lot of responsibilities and obligations
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  that we have as adults, and I think it just weighs on us.
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  And so to think about an antidote to some of that fun and
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  joy and play automatically come to mind.
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  It's been really, really powerful for us.
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  Like I said, my wife and I trying to infuse that into our
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  lives and so I think it merits a conversation and I hope it feels
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  helpful. Today.
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  There's a quote by George Bernard Shaw and he says we
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  don't stop playing because we grow old.
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  We grow old because we stopped playing.
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  You know, there's research out there that says that adults
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  laugh on average 15 to 17 times a day.
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  But some of the research has shown that it can be as low as 4
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  times a day, which I think is pretty depressing.
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  And then I looked up how often children laugh in a day, and
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  they quoted as being somewhere around 300 times a day.
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  Although there's some stuff out there that says that that's an
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  urban myth, so I don't know the exact number.
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  But regardless, we know that children and young adults laugh
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  a lot more, a hell of a lot more than we as adults do.
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  And here's the catch. Most of us aren't prioritizing
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  fun and play. You know, somewhere along the
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  way, fun just got pushed to the sidelines and I want to talk
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  about why we stopped having fun and why it's actually crucial.
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  It's not optional. It's crucial for both our health
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  and our relationships and our success in life.
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  You know, if you think back to being a kid, fun was pretty
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  automatic. Play was the job and everything
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  was an adventure. I'm, I think back to my
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  childhood days and it feels like all we did was play outside.
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  All we did was play sports in the street and work on our tree
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  house and run around with popsicles in her hands.
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  And I'm sure that wasn't the case, but that feels like all
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  there was when I think back to when I was little.
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  And as we get older, it's very clear that we start to absorb
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  some messages. Messages like fun is extra.
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  It's what you get to do if everything else is done.
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  Fun is something you earn after the hard work.
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  Fun is irresponsible or childish.
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  We feel guilt about having fun because maybe others aren't
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  having very much fun in their life.
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  There's a perception that fun is inappropriate, perhaps because
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  there's so much heaviness in the world and always has been.
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  But, you know, I think we can just see so much of it right
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  now. And also, there seems to be a
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  sense of a lack of time, a lack of time to be able to have fun
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  in our lives, probably because our commitments to others and
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  our obligations and our responsibilities won't really
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  allow for it. It doesn't feel like there is
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  enough time. So what ends up happening is
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  we're trading play for productivity and achievement.
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  You know, we schedule, we grind, we hustle every week, we fill
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  our calendars with obligations. And the first thing to get
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  pushed off the list is joy. And I know this to be true
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  because I've seen this in my own life.
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  I can tend to get into that mode where I'm a little serious, I'm
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  focused on work, I'm focused on the obligations and the
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  responsibilities, and I'm forgetting to loosen up.
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  I'm forgetting to enjoy every single day.
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  And I've gotten a lot better about it.
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  But I've had to have these reminders.
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  And then when you add the pressures of adulthood,
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  mortgages and careers and kids and all those responsibilities,
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  it's really no wonder that fun becomes more rare.
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  Many people can't answer the question, what do you do for
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  fun? It's not top of mind and a lot
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  of times they're not even doing anything for fun.
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  And if you think about when you meet someone for the first time,
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  they very rarely ask you what you do for fun.
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  It's only what do you do and it's in reference to the job.
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  But here's the problem. Fun isn't just nice to have.
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  It's not just a luxury, it's essential for our health.
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  It improves our relationships. It helps us feel more successful
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  at the things that we do in life.
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  And let's break that down a little bit.
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  Let's first talk about the health aspect.
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  When you have fun, your body releases endorphins and
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  dopamine. Those feel good chemicals.
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  Fun lowers stress hormones, it relaxes your nervous system, and
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  it actually strengthens your immune system.
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  When we have fun, when we engage in play, it lights up parts of
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  our brain that fuel creativity and problem solving.
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  That's why you often get your best ideas when you're relaxed
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  or you're laughing or you're hanging out with friends.
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  Not when you're stressed at your desk.
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  Something I've noticed in myself and I see in a lot of people is
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  fun also restores energy. If you are constantly exhausted
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  and might not be that you're doing too much, it might be
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  because you're not doing enough of what lights you up.
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  You're constantly in the hustle and grind and you're not doing
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  anything that brings you any joy.
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  If you look up all the benefits of having fun in life, you'll
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  see a long list. But the bottom line is that fun
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  is not a distraction from health.
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  Fun is health, especially when it comes to our mental health.
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  I found this to be very true for myself, especially in the last
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  nine months as I'm going through treatment for breast cancer.
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  When I infuse fun into my life, I do better.
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  It has definitely helped me get through the treatments and
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  recently having a double mastectomy surgery.
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  We know that this stuff can be a little bit heavy.
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  You might not be physically feeling your best, but in terms
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  of the mental health piece, infusing fun and play into my
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  life has made a massive difference.
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  I call it my carrots in reference to the carrot that you
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  would put in front of a horse to get it to move.
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  I plan fun events purposefully in my life so that it can be the
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  carrot that keeps me going. And it's very effective.
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  It works very well. If you think about how you're
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  feeling mentally and emotionally and even physically, and then
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  also look at the amount of fun and play that you have in your
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  life. I wonder if you could see any
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  correlation there and if you might see a need to infuse a
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  little bit more of that into your schedule.
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  Now, let's think about how fun and play affect relationships
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  when you have more fun and improves your relationships.
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  We know this both at work and just in general in life.
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  I mean, think about the times when you went to a concert with
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  people or did a a weekend trip with friends and family, maybe
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  over New Year's or Thanksgiving or just in the summer.
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  If you went camping for the weekend with people, think about
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  how you feel after that. You feel closer to those people
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  afterwards, don't you? I remember Leanne and I went to
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  a weekend long music festival 2 years ago with a lot of people
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  we didn't know very well, but we spent the whole weekend with
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  them. We had two straight days of
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  having so much fun together, playing and laughing and just
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  having a blast and it led to these people becoming some of
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  our best friends. Another example that you could
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  think about is team building. Team building retreats that you
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  might do at work or like daily excursions, things that you do
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  with colleagues, the obstacle courses, you guys remember
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  those. When you engage in that kind of
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  play and fun, it gives you a break from the daily routine and
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  you get to go have some fun together.
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  You walk away feeling a little closer to your team.
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  Those experiences help us build trust and improve communication.
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  They give us an opportunity to connect and be creative
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  together. We can laugh together and
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  overall it gives our brain the message we are alike.
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  We share values, and so it increases your connection to
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  those people. You've probably heard of the
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  Gottmans before, Doctor John and Julie Gottman.
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  They are relationship experts. They have the Gottman Research
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  Institute up in Seattle, and they've been studying happy and
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  unhappy couples for years. They have a ton of books written
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  about it. But what they found is that
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  couples who are happy know how to have fun together.
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  And so I often think to myself, am I having enough fun with my
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  wife? Am I having enough fun with my
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  kids? Am I having enough fun in my
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  life in general so that I can show up well for them, so I
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  could show up well for my friends and my family?
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  It's something that I truly try to keep a pulse on.
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  So we know fun makes you healthier.
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  We know that it improves your relationships.
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  It also makes you more successful at the things that
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  you pursue in your life. And just think about it, people
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  who enjoy what they do, they attract other people, they have
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  better relationships, they bring more energy to their work,
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  they're more resilient when things get hard because there's
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  joy that can fuel you, not just willpower or discipline.
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  Fun creates balance. So without fun, success can
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  start to feel hollow. Like, what am I doing this for?
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  Am I really getting what I want in life?
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  You might reach a goal, a milestone that you've been
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  working for for a long time. But if you burned out joy along
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  the way, often people will get there and say, I'm not really
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  experiencing the feelings that I thought I would feel at the end
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  of this. Was it really worth it?
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  Having fun also keeps us adaptable because play teaches
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  us how to experiment and to take risks, to learn without having
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  that fear of failure. It's light, it's supposed to be,
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  it's fun, right? And those are the same skills
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  that you need in leadership or running a business and just life
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  in general. So when you think about success,
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  fun really isn't the opposite of success.
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  You're not sacrificing success when you're pursuing fun.
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  Fun is a high frequency activity and it keeps you high frequency.
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  When you're high frequency, lots of things come to meet you that
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  are high frequency. So the question that I asked
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  myself is how do I bring fun into my life daily, weekly,
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  whatever it might be? And I think about these things
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  often because sometimes I need to remind myself to loosen up a
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  little bit. So here's a couple ideas that
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  have helped me. The first thing I do is ask
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  myself, how could I make this fun?
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  So I redefine it because it doesn't have to be a big event
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  or a huge vacation to make it worthwhile.
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  Fun can just be dancing in the kitchen with my wife, it can be
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  playing a game with my kids, it can be going for a spontaneous
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  road trip, it can be trying something new.
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  There's so many different ways to infuse fun into your life
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  every single day. You just have to look for it.
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  The second thing that I do that is very helpful is to schedule
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  it because if I don't make space for fun, it doesn't happen as
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  often. I have to put it on the calendar
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  in the same way that I do meetings or workouts or other
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  things that are important to me. Plan and schedule your fun.
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  And the last thing I think about is to give myself permission.
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  We just did a podcast episode earlier this week about giving
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  yourself permission to do the things you want to do.
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  Fun is no different. I have to give myself permission
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  to play and have fun and really enjoy life because fun is not
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  frivolous. It's not a waste of time.
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  It's actually such good fuel for us.
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  To give yourself permission reminds you that you don't need
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  to earn it. It is your innate right, and it
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  makes life better when you can experience it.
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  So the take away here is that fun is not optional.
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  It's not childish. It's not irresponsible.
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  It's medicine. Fun is medicine for you.
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  It is energy. It feels like the spark that
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  makes life beautiful. It makes life worth living.
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  We all want to live a joyful, fulfilled life, so don't wait
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  for permission from anybody. Go laugh, go play, go create,
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  have fun because it truly is what makes life so beautiful and
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  so worthwhile. And I think we could all use a
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  lot more of it. I hope this helps.
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  I hope this spurs on some insights.
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  Thank you for being here. And as always, team, thank you
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  for being ready to Impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
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  Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
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  you to own your impact and recognize that you are powerful.
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  By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
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  exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
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  share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
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  I truly appreciate you. Thanks again for being here.