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Bonus IMPROV - You're Sick & You're Bald · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  What do you think the funniest word is?
• 0:19
  Like the one that you think is like the funniest to say.
• 0:25
  I don't usually laugh at words alone.
• 0:27
  do you have one no this was a fruitless question fruitless yeah it's a fun word
• 0:39
  maybe polyp oh i don't know i don't like the roundness of it pulp
• 0:45
  polyp maybe because the o makes it round yeah pop polyp polyp polyp
• 0:51
  isn't it funny how the more you say a word the less real it sounds yeah
• 0:56
  Yeah, they definitely lose all meaning.
• 0:59
  Yeah.
• 1:01
  You repeat it over and over.
• 1:02
  Carpet.
• 1:03
  Carpet.
• 1:04
  Carpet.
• 1:04
  Carpet.
• 1:06
  Carpet.
• 1:09
  Carpet.
• 1:10
  Carpet.
• 1:12
  Yeah.
• 1:13
  I don't know.
• 1:14
  Is there a name for that phenomenon?
• 1:16
  There has to be.
• 1:18
  Yeah.
• 1:19
  You know what I always wondered?
• 1:20
  Well, I don't always wonder this.
• 1:21
  I thought I read this somewhere before, but I can't find the name for it.
• 1:30
  But I feel like this exists.
• 1:33
  You know, like the iHeart New York or like the iHeart whatever?
• 1:37
  Radio?
• 1:38
  Or iHeart Radio.
• 1:41
  iHeart Radio, if you're listening.
• 1:43
  We know you are.
• 1:45
  We'd love it if you'd sponsor us.
• 1:47
  anyway the phenomenon where instead of the heart it's something like applicable to the other thing
• 1:56
  like eye cactus Arizona or whatever I thought I read somewhere that the replacing of the heart
• 2:03
  with a different object is called something that that has a name I have not been able to find out
• 2:09
  what that is and if anybody knows this is like a this is like a project like 15 years in the making
• 2:16
  for me like i think i read this like 15 years ago oh i hope you don't find out now like that i never
• 2:21
  know because you'll just be disappointed this now you have something no because i'm not 100 like i
• 2:25
  feel like i read it somewhere but i went back to where i thought i read it and i couldn't find it
• 2:30
  you forgot and you're right i mean i well i remember where i thought i read it mental floss
• 2:38
  which was a magazine and then an online website i think they probably still exist but they had
• 2:43
  like a bunch of like fun weird facts and stuff like that um i thought i saw it there but i couldn't
• 2:49
  find it anywhere when i went back to look and no one i know has been able to tell me if that has a
• 2:55
  name i just like that you have a journey like an educational journey like this yeah it's like
• 3:01
  collecting something my hero's journey yeah yeah someday and i hope you i don't want someone to
• 3:07
  tell you i want you to stumble across it organically i mean that would be amazing
• 3:12
  but it's like also not it's not an easy thing to search you know who could really help you who
• 3:20
  chat gpt no i don't i don't want to use i don't want to use ai period i'm not a fan um but i
• 3:31
  definitely i don even like it when people like google things like if if i out if i out at a bar with friends or whatever and you talking you like oh yeah like who that guy that did that thing and then someone just like and then like without even without it without even asking if you want to like think about it longer someone
• 3:48
  just looks at them they're like gary true truman gary truman show gary truman show gary truman show
• 3:58
  where it's like no I wanted to think about it for a minute
• 4:03
  I wanted to have that feeling of like
• 4:05
  you know when it feels like your brain itches
• 4:08
  and then you're like oh it's right there
• 4:12
  and then you think of it and you're like oh that satisfying feeling
• 4:14
  that reminds me of the hit shark film Deep Blue Sea
• 4:17
  in the beginning of the movie these young people are like making
• 4:21
  romance on a boat
• 4:23
  that's good euphemism
• 4:26
  thank you well they're not they haven't gotten anywhere yet you know and there's a radio playing
• 4:32
  a song and i didn't for the longest time i was like is this a fake song for the movie or is this
• 4:38
  a real song that they put in the movie and all i remember was like part of the lyrics would be like
• 4:42
  something something good and plenty i'm like oh i like it and i tried finding i could never find it
• 4:50
  then the radio goes in the ocean uh oh do you think that there's like a deep blue sea
• 4:56
  soundtrack soundtrack that were there and it's all original songs that would be rad yeah that
• 5:03
  would be like an extra level of amazingness to deep blue sea they're all written by sharks
• 5:08
  and ice cube was ice cube no no ll cool j oh oh so sorry ll why are you apologizing to him
• 5:19
  Because he's a listener.
• 5:21
  Oh.
• 5:21
  He's a subscriber.
• 5:23
  And I can't believe I did that.
• 5:25
  Not only do ladies love you, friends like us love you, Cool James.
• 5:29
  Is that the name?
• 5:30
  LL Cool J, ladies.
• 5:31
  Yeah, LL Cool J stands for ladies love Cool James.
• 5:35
  That's not his real initials?
• 5:37
  No.
• 5:38
  That was like Lloyd Landon.
• 5:40
  No, it's ladies love.
• 5:42
  Jenkins.
• 5:42
  Okay.
• 5:43
  Yeah.
• 5:44
  And so does friends like us.
• 5:45
  Yeah.
• 5:46
  James, I'm so sorry that I forgot that you were in Deep Blue Sea.
• 5:49
  sorry I'm making
• 5:52
  hungry animal noises
• 5:54
  don't be sorry
• 5:55
  thanks
• 5:57
  do you better
• 6:00
  I'll try
• 6:01
  yeah
• 6:03
  so if you hear that
• 6:05
  if you ever hear the random lyrics
• 6:06
  good and plenty
• 6:07
  it sounds kind of like that
• 6:08
  good and plenty
• 6:10
  that's
• 6:12
  I need to know about it
• 6:13
  alright
• 6:14
  did you want me to save it
• 6:16
  for right before you die
• 6:17
  like when I learn about
• 6:18
  the
• 6:19
  I heart
• 6:21
  thing? No, because if I go fast,
• 6:24
  what if you can't get the information to me?
• 6:27
  I will
• 6:28
  walk around
• 6:30
  next to you at all times with a defibrillator
• 6:32
  to make sure
• 6:33
  that there's just enough time
• 6:36
  to keep you alive so I can tell you what the name of the song is.
• 6:38
  I just picture I get shot in the face and you're
• 6:40
  whipping out these pads like, hold on.
• 6:43
  Live
• 6:43
  good and plenty.
• 6:46
  Good and plenty.
• 6:47
  But you're just telling me the name of the song.
• 6:49
  I already know.
• 6:51
  I'm like, yeah, who sang it?
• 6:56
  You'll find out when you get to heaven.
• 6:58
  Oh, thanks.
• 6:59
  If you find out, tell him and then just kill him.
• 7:02
  Well, yeah, because I can't top it.
• 7:04
  You can't top it.
• 7:05
  I won't give you a chance to listen to it.
• 7:07
  The whole song.
• 7:09
  You just cut it off right where they cut it off in the movie?
• 7:11
  Yep.
• 7:12
  Yeah.
• 7:13
  Okay thanks You welcome And now improv
• 7:29
  Okay, so I hired you to be my personal paramedic.
• 7:35
  I'm convinced something weird's going to happen to me,
• 7:40
  and I'm not going to be ready for it.
• 7:42
  Okay.
• 7:42
  thank you for
• 7:43
  thank you for taking on this task
• 7:46
  of course
• 7:46
  stick your tongue out please
• 7:47
  oh that's not good
• 7:49
  that's not good
• 7:50
  well you're the paramedic
• 7:52
  do something about it
• 7:53
  hold on with my hand on your head
• 7:54
  oh
• 7:55
  what
• 7:56
  the coldest forehead I've ever felt
• 7:59
  colder
• 8:02
  colder than even
• 8:04
  a penguin's
• 8:05
  yes
• 8:09
  whoa
• 8:11
  what was right colder than a wet seal the store wet seal yes or an actual wet seal no
• 8:22
  oh the whole store yeah you can't go to work today people that went into that store were so cold
• 8:27
  yeah and i worked on all of them but your job is to to be near me at all times so i can live my life
• 8:35
  so that I don't have to stay at home all the time.
• 8:40
  I can go out in the world and then you fix me on the go.
• 8:44
  This is a real mob doctor situation.
• 8:49
  What does that mean?
• 8:51
  You know, they hire mob doctors because they're always getting shot and stabbed
• 8:55
  and they can't bring them to the hospital.
• 8:57
  It's like, don't you think I deserve to judge how you live your life a little?
• 9:01
  I'm a medical professional.
• 9:03
  That doesn't mean I want you out there pissing on my Monet.
• 9:08
  Your painting or is that slang for money?
• 9:12
  I was talking about the painting, yeah.
• 9:13
  Okay.
• 9:14
  You know?
• 9:15
  Not like Monet, Monet, Monet.
• 9:18
  Look, I promise I won't piss on anything.
• 9:20
  Just let me go to work today and leave a normal life.
• 9:24
  Okay, but I don't know how this is going to go.
• 9:26
  I'm a healer.
• 9:28
  I know.
• 9:28
  That's why I hired you, to heal me.
• 9:31
  Oh, clench?
• 9:33
  thanks got the thermometer all right you can go to work thank you that was the longest someone's
• 9:39
  ever taken my temperature rectally well half of it was for me let's go
• 9:43
  we cut to her work i just want to excuse me everyone i apologize i just need to make sure
• 9:54
  you all know this is a very sick woman okay i'm not too sick to be here he's being overly
• 10:02
  cautious. He's my personal paramedic.
• 10:06
  And
• 10:07
  she's gonna die. I'm
• 10:08
  okay. I'm not gonna die. We're all gonna die.
• 10:11
  Well, yes, we're all gonna die.
• 10:13
  But I mean, here in this
• 10:14
  board meeting right now,
• 10:16
  I'm totally capable
• 10:18
  of working and making
• 10:20
  decisions. I just, for whatever
• 10:22
  reason, I have this paranoid fear.
• 10:24
  Is that a cough? No. Okay.
• 10:27
  That was the word paranoid. Have you not
• 10:29
  heard paranoid before?
• 10:30
  So you just had a little bit of a blue tinge.
• 10:32
  I'm just going to be a fly on the wall.
• 10:34
  I'm not going to interrupt your work.
• 10:35
  Thank you.
• 10:35
  That would be helpful.
• 10:36
  Go ahead.
• 10:36
  Okay.
• 10:37
  All right.
• 10:38
  So we want to be able to reach a younger demo.
• 10:41
  So I feel like we've got to maybe get a-
• 10:44
  Need to blow your nose?
• 10:46
  Here, just go ahead.
• 10:48
  I got it.
• 10:51
  All right.
• 10:52
  It a good girl Okay Now I feel like you infantilizing me You were supposed to be here for emergencies only My nose blowing was not an emergency Okay well I wearing a diaper right now because I can trust that if I walk
• 11:05
  away, something's not going to happen to you.
• 11:06
  Okay, I just want to let everyone know I did not ask
• 11:09
  him to wear a diaper.
• 11:11
  That was his own choice.
• 11:13
  Sorry, I'm a professional.
• 11:15
  Go ahead and get back to work.
• 11:16
  Alright. Now, Tom,
• 11:19
  you were saying something about needing
• 11:21
  like a brand ambassadors here comes the airplane oh my god
• 11:26
  open your mouth is that a flintstone vitamin yes i'm eating i've been saving it since 1991
• 11:36
  oh it's warm from your pocket and my mouth what are you familiar with how a mother bird will
• 11:44
  sometimes prepare the food for her young okay you're not baby birding me a flintstone vitamin
• 11:49
  The vitamin.
• 11:50
  I'm not...
• 11:50
  Stop.
• 11:52
  I'm rubbing her throat.
• 11:54
  I'm rubbing her throat.
• 11:55
  Oh.
• 11:55
  Oh.
• 11:57
  Oh, it was an...
• 11:58
  There you go.
• 11:59
  Oh, it was the cherry one, too.
• 12:01
  It was...
• 12:01
  Yeah.
• 12:02
  The worst of the ones.
• 12:04
  Okay, you're gonna be okay now.
• 12:06
  This...
• 12:06
  This is...
• 12:07
  I just need you to be on call as a regular paramedic.
• 12:11
  Like, if I have, like, a heart attack or something.
• 12:14
  I'm not gonna have a heart attack.
• 12:16
  Don't look at me like that.
• 12:17
  A what?
• 12:17
  Wait, you don't...
• 12:19
  A heart attack?
• 12:20
  What are you talking about?
• 12:23
  A heart attack.
• 12:24
  If my heart stops beating.
• 12:27
  No, I'm not familiar.
• 12:30
  That...
• 12:31
  What do you...
• 12:32
  What's in that case that sparked defibrillator?
• 12:35
  Big shoes.
• 12:37
  What?
• 12:39
  Are you...
• 12:39
  Are you just like a Patch Adams type doctor?
• 12:43
  That's a real job.
• 12:45
  That's not what I'm...
• 12:46
  Little baby.
• 12:49
  No, no, I don't need to fall asleep right now.
• 12:51
  Listen, Tom, I'm really sorry about this.
• 12:53
  Okay, back to the brand ambassador.
• 12:55
  So, I was thinking, are the Jonas Brothers, are they still a thing?
• 12:59
  I don't know.
• 13:00
  Oh my God, your hair.
• 13:02
  What?
• 13:02
  Oh my, it's gone flat.
• 13:04
  Hold on.
• 13:05
  I gotta comb this, everyone.
• 13:06
  No.
• 13:08
  I told her not to come in today.
• 13:10
  Okay, you're teasing it.
• 13:13
  Oh, sorry.
• 13:20
  I just lost a giant chunk of my hair.
• 13:23
  You kind of look good, though.
• 13:25
  You're sick and you're bald.
• 13:28
  I don't need to be prepared for this hypothetical situation.
• 13:32
  I'm just worried about a heart attack, which you don't even know about.
• 13:36
  I can figure it out. Hold on, I have a book here.
• 13:38
  it's a cardboard book it's a little it's a little kid's cardboard book yeah i noticed that too
• 13:49
  there's spots for finger puppets in the back oh do you think that would help no i can do cpr with
• 13:56
  little puppet fingers okay i can't believe i even have to ask this what do you think the letters cpr
• 14:04
  stand for?
• 14:07
  Christmas presents
• 14:08
  right now.
• 14:16
  All right, Tom, I might need to take the rest of the day off.
• 14:18
  Here's my card. Tom, here's my card. I do parties.
• 14:20
  Scene.
• 14:34
  you