Latest / The You Project / #1662 The Self-Audit - Harps

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#1662 The Self-Audit - Harps · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: By Hello, Team Craiganthey, Harper's my name, it's the You Project.
0:03
Speaker 1: It's me, it's you, it's us. It's a bloody episode
0:06
Speaker 1: again for the millionth time. Here we are, and I'm
0:10
Speaker 1: still fucking bringing my a game. I'm still stepping up,
0:13
Speaker 1: still got the energy. I still do what I can,
0:16
Speaker 1: even at one hundred and sixteen years of age. Another birthday,
0:19
Speaker 1: I'm one hundred and seventeen now. Oh fucking time stops
0:24
Speaker 1: for no man slash woman slash human? Does it? Oh
0:28
Speaker 1: well it does. That's that's a good point. It does.
0:31
Speaker 1: It eventually does. Or about all the noise I'm making
0:34
Speaker 1: here with my pad on the table, I've you heard
0:35
Speaker 1: any of that? So a few people have asked me
0:39
Speaker 1: lately about the the kind of these teaching slash coaching
0:44
Speaker 1: episodes that I'm doing. How come I am doing more lately?
0:50
Speaker 1: It's going to vary, I'm going to say, moving forward,
0:52
Speaker 1: it's going to vary depending on availability of good guests.
0:56
Speaker 1: So it is very It would be very possible if
0:59
Speaker 1: we only did three shows a week, like most podcasts do,
1:04
Speaker 1: somewhere between three and sorry, one and three episodes a week.
1:09
Speaker 1: As you know, I do seven been doing it for
1:12
Speaker 1: six years. And also, as you know, getting high quality
1:17
Speaker 1: guests with whom I can have a great conversation that
1:22
Speaker 1: will be somewhat informative, illuminating, inspiring, and of value to you.
1:30
Speaker 1: Getting those guests seven days a week is not easy,
1:36
Speaker 1: especially because those people that are that brilliant generally are
1:38
Speaker 1: pretty fucking busy. So we're going to get as many
1:41
Speaker 1: as we can. Some weeks that will be four, five
1:43
Speaker 1: or six people, some weeks that will be one or two.
1:45
Speaker 1: Most weeks, I think it's going to be somewhere in
1:48
Speaker 1: the three to four kind of range of having a
1:50
Speaker 1: good guest, and it might be look, I'm not sure,
1:53
Speaker 1: we may even I don't know. At some stage I
1:56
Speaker 1: might back down from seven episodes a week and do
1:59
Speaker 1: five for I'm not sure, But for now I'm in
2:02
Speaker 1: the flow. I'm in a pretty good space as long
2:05
Speaker 1: as you get something of value from these episodes. And
2:08
Speaker 1: of course, if you prefer one or the other guests,
2:11
Speaker 1: or just the coaching sessions, you've got the option of
2:14
Speaker 1: choosing what you listen to and don't listen to. Of course,
2:18
Speaker 1: that's where we are. So if you're not a member
2:22
Speaker 1: of our Facebook group, I would love you to be
2:24
Speaker 1: and I would love you to be because there's no hooks, catches, agendas.
2:29
Speaker 1: We don't sell you anything. It's just what it does
2:31
Speaker 1: is gives me an insight into the mind of my listener.
2:34
Speaker 1: And obviously, because this is always a one way conversation,
2:39
Speaker 1: sorry about that. Maybe in the future we'll be able
2:42
Speaker 1: to have you. Well, we've done one or two I
2:44
Speaker 1: think on Zoom, where we have a little bit of
2:46
Speaker 1: group participation. But what I like about the Facebook group
2:51
Speaker 1: is that gives me an insight into what you want
2:55
Speaker 1: to hear more of and less of, and the guests
2:57
Speaker 1: and the conversations and the topics and the subject matter
3:01
Speaker 1: that is for you valuable and interesting, and so it
3:10
Speaker 1: kind of gives me a little bit of direction about
3:11
Speaker 1: where I might go moving forward. Of course, I can't
3:14
Speaker 1: cover every topic that every person requests, but you know,
3:18
Speaker 1: if there's kind of as there often is, a bit
3:21
Speaker 1: of a consensus of things that people are more and
3:27
Speaker 1: less interested in, I will pick up that thread and
3:31
Speaker 1: run with it when I can. Right So, today, as
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Speaker 1: you would already know, is about this idea of doing
3:37
Speaker 1: a self audit or a self examination, in other words,
3:43
Speaker 1: trying to hit the pause button and do a little bit,
3:47
Speaker 1: you know, put your life, put you up on the
3:50
Speaker 1: old hoist, just like we do when we go to
3:52
Speaker 1: a mechanic. We give the mechanic the car and they
3:54
Speaker 1: put it up on the hoist so that they can
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Speaker 1: walk around and have a look at everything, check everything out.
4:00
Speaker 1: They lift up the bonnet, they go through the engine,
4:02
Speaker 1: they look at the brakes, they look at the running gear,
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Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff that they can evaluate and
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Speaker 1: audit where the car is at, what's working, what's not,
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Speaker 1: what needs to be addressed, what's going great, what's falling apart?
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Speaker 1: And metaphorically we can do the same with our life.
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Speaker 1: And I'm always doing a self audit of sorts, and
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Speaker 1: so today I want to run you through some questions
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Speaker 1: that I've used a lot on myself and also on
4:29
Speaker 1: also working with clients and a bunch of different human
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Speaker 1: beings over the journey. So self examination or a self
4:35
Speaker 1: audit is a worthwhile, if not always comfortable, components of
4:41
Speaker 1: the personal of the personal transformation journey. So for me,
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Speaker 1: it's largely about self awareness and the recognition of habits
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Speaker 1: and patterns and behaviors and choices that you are currently
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Speaker 1: making and that are currently part of your day to
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Speaker 1: day operating system. Things that can fit anywhere on the scale,
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Speaker 1: Things that you do that can fit in it anywhere
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Speaker 1: on the scale, from toxic and destructive to positive and
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Speaker 1: life enhancing. And so it's not really about like these questions,
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Speaker 1: this process, it's not, as I always say, it's not
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Speaker 1: about self loathing. It's not about overthinking, but rather it's
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Speaker 1: a strategic and rational and hopefully analytical exercise where we're
5:33
Speaker 1: not turning up the emotion. We're just trying to be practical, realistic, strategic,
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Speaker 1: and like I said, not self loathing, not emotional, not destructive,
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Speaker 1: We're not beating ourself up. I do a form of
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Speaker 1: this daily, and it's a great way. I think it's
5:52
Speaker 1: a great way to kind of step out of the moment,
5:54
Speaker 1: out of the micro of the now, and zoom out
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Speaker 1: a little bit to find some clarity and some perspective
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Speaker 1: about how you're going in the macro, the big picture life,
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Speaker 1: not the minutia of this moment, but rather the day
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Speaker 1: to day, week to week, month to month, and year
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Speaker 1: to year kind of reality that we're building and habiting.
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Speaker 1: So here are some self audit questions that I use
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Speaker 1: that you might find helpful. So Number one on my
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Speaker 1: list is do I actually have a strategic plan for
6:27
Speaker 1: my life? Do I actually have a plan? My experience
6:33
Speaker 1: is hoping that things will work out while not having
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Speaker 1: a plan, while not having specific intentions and to do
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Speaker 1: list and a timeline and structure and processes. Which is
6:48
Speaker 1: why you know, I call this this question here and
6:52
Speaker 1: this idea here is really why I called this podcast
6:55
Speaker 1: the You Project, because our life will not accidentally end
6:59
Speaker 1: up great. As I've said many times before, your body
7:02
Speaker 1: will not accidentally end up incredibly healthy, fit, functional, and
7:05
Speaker 1: high performance. Your marriage will not accidentally somehow be awesome.
7:10
Speaker 1: Your business will not accidentally involve evolve into an empire.
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Speaker 1: Your career will not go through the roof without any work, strategy, work,
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Speaker 1: or conscious effort to do the things that create the
7:23
Speaker 1: results you want. So the first question is do I
7:26
Speaker 1: actually have a strategic plan for my life or just
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Speaker 1: an idea of how I hope things will work out.
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Speaker 1: Hoping that you will somehow land on your feet. Hoping
7:39
Speaker 1: that you will somehow succeed is a terrible idea. And
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Speaker 1: this doesn't mean that everything that we do has got
7:48
Speaker 1: to be has got to be planned and strategized and
7:52
Speaker 1: calculated within an inch of its life. Of course, it
7:57
Speaker 1: just means that, let's say a year from now, you
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Speaker 1: would like to have change certain things that are currently
8:04
Speaker 1: happening or not happening in your life. Then if you
8:08
Speaker 1: can get clarity, for example, about what you want those
8:12
Speaker 1: particular things to look like, or what particular things you
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Speaker 1: want to have happening on planet you in. You know,
8:18
Speaker 1: I'm recording this on October one, so for me, that
8:21
Speaker 1: would be October one, twenty twenty five. I want to
8:24
Speaker 1: be I want to be earning fifty percent more than
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Speaker 1: I'm currently earning. For example, I'm just giving you an example.
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Speaker 1: Or I want to be I want to be ten
8:33
Speaker 1: percent less body fat. Or I want to be I
8:37
Speaker 1: want to be having three days a week every week off.
8:41
Speaker 1: I'm sick of working five days a week. I want
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Speaker 1: to work four days on three days off. And I
8:46
Speaker 1: want to have that a practical reality in my life
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Speaker 1: in one year from now. Cool. So we get so
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Speaker 1: we get clarity about the things that we want to
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Speaker 1: achieve and do and be and create, and we have
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Speaker 1: a timeline. And I'm just picking a timeline which happens
8:59
Speaker 1: to be a year in this example, and then then
9:02
Speaker 1: we reverse engineer it. We say, all right, well, based
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Speaker 1: on what I want to do and change and achieve
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Speaker 1: in a year for me that would be October one,
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Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, what do I need to do now?
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Speaker 1: What decisions do I need to make? What action do
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Speaker 1: I need to take? What do I need to own
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Speaker 1: up to? What needs to be different from now for
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Speaker 1: that one year idea to become a one year practical,
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Speaker 1: real world, inhabitable reality on planet me. Question two, which
9:36
Speaker 1: is kind of off the back of question one, is
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Speaker 1: am I proactively and intentionally creating opportunities? It's funny because
9:47
Speaker 1: everyone wants an opportunity, and so there are a few
9:51
Speaker 1: ways that opportunities can happen. We can sit on our
9:55
Speaker 1: hands metaphorically, and we can hope. We can hope that
10:01
Speaker 1: an opportunity comes along. That's the worst plan. Number two
10:08
Speaker 1: is we can proactively look for opportunities. We can look,
10:15
Speaker 1: we can keep our eyes open, we can be vigilant,
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Speaker 1: we can do some research. We can be more proactive
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Speaker 1: than the dude or dude sitting on the couch hoping
10:28
Speaker 1: that an opportunity comes along. The third option is that
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Speaker 1: we actually do something. We create an opportunity. We create
10:36
Speaker 1: an opportunity, we reach out, we make a phone call,
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Speaker 1: we organize a meeting, we plan an event, we get
10:43
Speaker 1: some people involved whatever it is that we need to do.
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Speaker 1: We do some research, we do a deep dive, we
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Speaker 1: make some decisions, we take some action, We build something,
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Speaker 1: We conceptualize something in our head, and we operationalize that
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Speaker 1: in the real world. We create our own opportunities. I
11:02
Speaker 1: created this podcast. It was an idea, it was a thought.
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Speaker 1: Of course, many people have done this, well, not the
11:08
Speaker 1: same they've started podcasts. We know the average podcast doesn't last.
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Speaker 1: I think it's less than seven right, But nobody came
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Speaker 1: along to me. And I'm not saying anti great because
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Speaker 1: I'm not great, because I've fucked up many times. But
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Speaker 1: the reality is now we have a podcast that goes
11:23
Speaker 1: into ninety countries, that's heard every day by thousands and
11:26
Speaker 1: thousands of people. Well, nobody knocked on my door and said, hey, Craig,
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Speaker 1: do you want a podcast? And what we'll do is
11:34
Speaker 1: we'll we'll record it, we'll produce it, will distribute it,
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Speaker 1: We'll get you a partner, we'll align you with Nova Entertainment,
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Speaker 1: one of the biggest entertainment organizations. Nobody did that. So
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Speaker 1: I proactively created this opportunity. And the opportunity that I
11:52
Speaker 1: created was starting off small and falling down and fucking
11:55
Speaker 1: up and getting back up, and over time, now we
11:58
Speaker 1: inhabit this thing. And now because we created this thing,
12:02
Speaker 1: Melissa and Tip and I, we created this great thing,
12:05
Speaker 1: and now other people want to align with us. But
12:07
Speaker 1: unless I initially turned turned the key myself in that
12:13
Speaker 1: or unless I got the wheels turning, unless I created
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Speaker 1: the momentum and I kept showing up, it wouldn't have happened.
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Speaker 1: It wouldn't have happened. So what are you doing to
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Speaker 1: create opportunities rather than just hoping they come along? Question
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Speaker 1: number three? Remember, we're doing a self audit. What we're
12:34
Speaker 1: doing just recapping, is we're having a look at the
12:36
Speaker 1: things that we do and we don't do the questions
12:38
Speaker 1: we ask and don't ask our current operating system, our
12:41
Speaker 1: current behaviors, our current rules and rituals, and whether or
12:45
Speaker 1: not all that stuff that is integral to our life
12:48
Speaker 1: is working in inverted commas or not working. Question three
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Speaker 1: is what uncontrollable or uncontrollables plural? Am I wasting time on? What?
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Speaker 1: Am I currently spending energy, time, focus, and attention on?
13:12
Speaker 1: That is a terrible investment. And so you know, we
13:18
Speaker 1: do this in a bunch of ways. We waste energy
13:20
Speaker 1: on other people that we can't control. We can't control
13:24
Speaker 1: what other people think or say, or do or you know,
13:27
Speaker 1: their behavior. Neither should we want to necessarily, of course,
13:31
Speaker 1: but you know, people are going to be people. The
13:33
Speaker 1: only thing in terms of you know, like, for example,
13:37
Speaker 1: I could really worry about how people respond to every episode.
13:41
Speaker 1: I could overthink every word that I say. I could,
13:46
Speaker 1: I could instead of just freestyling like I am. Now.
13:49
Speaker 1: Imagine if I had to fucking script all of these
13:52
Speaker 1: words every day? You know, what do we speak about
13:55
Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty words a minute. Let's times that
13:58
Speaker 1: by sixty minutes. What is that? I think that's fifteen
14:02
Speaker 1: thousand words. Imagine if I had to script or write, choreograph,
14:08
Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it, fifteen thousand words. Fuck.
14:11
Speaker 1: I couldn't do it right. But I'm aware that every
14:16
Speaker 1: day there will people that resonate with my thoughts and
14:20
Speaker 1: ideas and words, And every day there will be people
14:22
Speaker 1: that don't. Every day there will be somebody who thinks, fuck,
14:25
Speaker 1: that's a good idea or that's a good strategy, and
14:27
Speaker 1: somebody who thinks, who's this fucking idiot? How did I
14:30
Speaker 1: end up here? I'm switching off, and I'm okay with
14:34
Speaker 1: both of that. And you know what, I have to
14:36
Speaker 1: be okay with both of those outcomes because both of
14:39
Speaker 1: those outcomes. Once you get to a certain threshold of
14:43
Speaker 1: listeners or readers or audience size or whatever it is,
14:48
Speaker 1: of course people are not going to like you. Of
14:50
Speaker 1: Course people are not going to like the fact that
14:52
Speaker 1: I swear. Of course people are not going to like
14:54
Speaker 1: the way that I deliver content. I get it, and
14:56
Speaker 1: it's okay. Of course it's okay. It has to be okay.
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Speaker 1: If if I'm not okay with it, then I definitely
15:02
Speaker 1: shouldn't have a podcast. I should go and live on
15:05
Speaker 1: a metaphoric island and interact with nobody, because having a
15:12
Speaker 1: public presence means that that's going to happen. So back
15:16
Speaker 1: to the uncontrollables. So I know that I go in
15:20
Speaker 1: with my eyes wide open. I do my very best.
15:24
Speaker 1: I try to be as thoughtful and articulate and broadly
15:27
Speaker 1: relevant and aware as I can at all times while
15:31
Speaker 1: knowing that some people won't like this or me. How
15:35
Speaker 1: much energy do I waste on the people who won't
15:38
Speaker 1: like this or me? Zero? How much did I used
15:41
Speaker 1: to waste a lot more? Where works in progress? Right?
15:47
Speaker 1: My next question is what are my results telling me?
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Speaker 1: That is for you? What are your results telling you?
15:52
Speaker 1: You and I are always producing outcomes with everything that
15:56
Speaker 1: we do at work, at home, and our professional life
15:59
Speaker 1: and our personal life, our relationships with our diet, with
16:02
Speaker 1: our training, with our personal development projects, with our relationship
16:09
Speaker 1: with God if we have one, with our spiritual life,
16:11
Speaker 1: if we have one, We're always producing outcomes. And so
16:16
Speaker 1: your job and my job in the middle of all
16:19
Speaker 1: of that data, all of that data that we're producing,
16:23
Speaker 1: is to be able to decode it, pay attention to it,
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Speaker 1: and figure out what the results or what the data
16:30
Speaker 1: is telling us. What am I doing that's working, What
16:33
Speaker 1: am I doing that's not? What is my body telling
16:36
Speaker 1: me now and so on? What is my marriage door,
16:38
Speaker 1: what is my bank balance, what is my career or
16:41
Speaker 1: what are all of these different things telling me? My
16:45
Speaker 1: next question is what am I currently doing to my body?
16:53
Speaker 1: And I know this is a very specific question. But
16:55
Speaker 1: I've spent a lot of my life, as you know,
16:58
Speaker 1: working with bodies, the humans who live in those bodies,
17:02
Speaker 1: and I can tell you that there's not a lot
17:04
Speaker 1: of people that I have ever met that don't reasonably
17:08
Speaker 1: regularly do dumb shit to their body. So the question
17:12
Speaker 1: is what am I currently doing to my body that's
17:15
Speaker 1: somewhere on the scale between somewhat unhealthy and completely fucking stupid.
17:23
Speaker 1: And I know this because I was this. I was
17:25
Speaker 1: this for a long time, and are there's still things
17:28
Speaker 1: that now I'm not saying the thing that you're doing
17:31
Speaker 1: to your body is necessarily eating junk food. It could
17:33
Speaker 1: be or smoking dope or cigarettes, or drinking booze or
17:38
Speaker 1: excessive booze. Anyway. It could be about what you're putting
17:41
Speaker 1: in your body, but it could be what you're doing
17:44
Speaker 1: to your body, which might be that you are you're
17:49
Speaker 1: drinking caffeine within an hour of bed, or you're going
17:53
Speaker 1: to bed and you're stimulating, lighting up your prefrontal cortex,
17:58
Speaker 1: like paying attention to screens watching television or on your
18:01
Speaker 1: phone or whatever. So then when you try to go
18:03
Speaker 1: to sleep, you can't because your brain's lit up. Like
18:05
Speaker 1: a Christmas tree. Or it might be that you know
18:10
Speaker 1: you're not going to the gym, you're not moving your body.
18:13
Speaker 1: It might be that it might be that you really
18:17
Speaker 1: are at an age where you should really be doing
18:20
Speaker 1: something to improve your bone density and to build muscle
18:24
Speaker 1: and to protect yourself for old age. It might be
18:31
Speaker 1: not what you're doing, but rather what you're not doing
18:34
Speaker 1: that is potentially destructive moving forward. So you know, specifically,
18:42
Speaker 1: if you're not if you're somewhere between forty and sixty
18:46
Speaker 1: and you're not optimizing what you have to work with,
18:50
Speaker 1: there's every chance that you're seventies and eighties if you
18:53
Speaker 1: make them, are not going to be fun years for you.
18:55
Speaker 1: So let's not wait for that. So what do I
18:58
Speaker 1: need to do and chain now that will hopefully set
19:02
Speaker 1: me up for a better version or a healthier version?
19:08
Speaker 1: This is the better question. What does current me need
19:11
Speaker 1: to do that future me will be really grateful for?
19:14
Speaker 1: That's a great question, he says humbly. My next question is,
19:19
Speaker 1: and you've heard me ask it many times, but it
19:21
Speaker 1: never gets old because it's always relevant and it's always
19:26
Speaker 1: important in terms of life design, life design designing, intentionally
19:32
Speaker 1: designing and living our best life. The question is am
19:35
Speaker 1: I living in alignment with my values? In other words,
19:41
Speaker 1: for the most part, do my choices and behaviors, actions, reactions,
19:47
Speaker 1: lifestyle operating system Do all of those things reflect the
19:54
Speaker 1: things that I say really are important to me. Your
19:58
Speaker 1: values are just the things that you literally value the most.
20:03
Speaker 1: Your values are the things that on planet you, in
20:07
Speaker 1: your mind, in your heart are really important. Now, if
20:14
Speaker 1: you are living in alignment, then I would be able
20:18
Speaker 1: to just observe you without even talking to you or
20:22
Speaker 1: asking you a question. I could watch you over time,
20:25
Speaker 1: if I bumped into you often enough, and I would
20:28
Speaker 1: have a pretty good idea of what your values are,
20:31
Speaker 1: not because you tell me, but rather because I see
20:33
Speaker 1: how you behave I see how you move through the world,
20:35
Speaker 1: I see how you do life. I see your choices,
20:39
Speaker 1: I see your behaviors, I see your interactions, I see
20:42
Speaker 1: how you are around others. And that gives me a
20:46
Speaker 1: real insight into what matters. And so when we are living.
20:51
Speaker 1: When we are living in alignment, we are more likely
20:56
Speaker 1: to be calm, not guaranteed, but more likely to become,
20:59
Speaker 1: less likely to be anxious, less likely to be overthinking everything,
21:03
Speaker 1: more likely to be mentally, emotionally and physically healthy. Not guaranteed,
21:09
Speaker 1: but more likely so. Living in alignment with our values
21:14
Speaker 1: super important. You know that i'veset at many times. My
21:17
Speaker 1: next question is what is my most debilitating limiting belief?
21:27
Speaker 1: What is something that I believe which is literally a
21:34
Speaker 1: self created prison. Generally it's something to do with what
21:41
Speaker 1: we think is our ability, or our potential or our
21:46
Speaker 1: self worth. What's been my most self limiting belief over
21:50
Speaker 1: the journey is probably that I'm not smart enough to
21:56
Speaker 1: do pretty much anything. And while I intellectually now know
22:03
Speaker 1: that that's not the case, that I'm not stupid, nonetheless,
22:08
Speaker 1: there was a very long period in my life where
22:13
Speaker 1: I felt like I was hiding my stupidity from the world.
22:19
Speaker 1: I thought, if people knew what fucking goes on in
22:21
Speaker 1: my head, oh my god, if they knew how dumb
22:23
Speaker 1: I was, if they knew how stupid I was, if
22:25
Speaker 1: they knew how much I don't understand I truly thought
22:31
Speaker 1: that I was. I didn't think I was a complete moron,
22:34
Speaker 1: because I knew I had some insight, but I genuinely
22:38
Speaker 1: thought I was less intelligent than average, and in order
22:42
Speaker 1: for me to be able to survive and potentially thrive
22:46
Speaker 1: and succeed. I would essentially have to trick people into
22:49
Speaker 1: thinking that I was smarter than I was. And while
22:54
Speaker 1: I truly don't think I'm an idiot anymore, and I
22:58
Speaker 1: don't think I'm stupid, I also don't think necessarily at
23:02
Speaker 1: all that I'm a genius. But I recognize the fear
23:05
Speaker 1: and the anxiety that created that belief. I recognize where
23:10
Speaker 1: that came from. And so, you know, recognizing something doesn't
23:15
Speaker 1: change it, but what it does is it does create
23:18
Speaker 1: an emotional and a psychological shift where we think, oh,
23:21
Speaker 1: where is that that belief that that child, that child
23:26
Speaker 1: version of me, that teenage version of me that had
23:29
Speaker 1: all of that fear and that anxiety and that self
23:32
Speaker 1: doubt and that social dysfunction and disconnection, that I'm not
23:37
Speaker 1: good enough, that I'm not smart enough, that I'm not
23:40
Speaker 1: fill in the blank. I know where that came from,
23:43
Speaker 1: I know how that developed, and now as a grown
23:48
Speaker 1: ass man, I can look back and recognize it. And
23:51
Speaker 1: even sometimes, you know what is interesting, Sometimes we can
23:55
Speaker 1: have a feeling, and the feeling might be I'm I'm
24:01
Speaker 1: an impostor I'm a I'm not good enough I'm you know,
24:07
Speaker 1: I'm unlovable, or I'm you know. And but despite that
24:13
Speaker 1: feeling or I guess that low level idea, we can
24:18
Speaker 1: simultaneously know that it's not true. Like this sounds almost nonsensical,
24:28
Speaker 1: but I can simultaneously feel not good enough, like emotionally
24:33
Speaker 1: feel fragile and perhaps unworthy, while intellectually knowing that that's
24:45
Speaker 1: not true. We're complicated humans. These these divergent constructs of
24:51
Speaker 1: feeling one way but knowing another way can coexist in
24:55
Speaker 1: the same human And that's why somebody like me, who's
25:00
Speaker 1: reasonably I guess adept at communication and research and talking
25:06
Speaker 1: to groups and all of the things that I do,
25:09
Speaker 1: I can do that reasonably well and be reasonably confident
25:14
Speaker 1: and competent and skilled while also feeling inadequate. That's a
25:21
Speaker 1: whole other episode, isn't it. My next question is when Neil, Oh,
25:25
Speaker 1: we're not nearly there, we're kind of on the way. Hello,
25:27
Speaker 1: have I been talking for Let me have a look now, Well,
25:30
Speaker 1: what am I currently avoiding? Delaying or not owning up to?
25:37
Speaker 1: This is hard because this requires real honesty, real self awareness,
25:42
Speaker 1: real vulnerability. What am I currently avoiding? Sometimes? You know,
25:46
Speaker 1: when we're either consciously or unconsciously avoiding something or delaying
25:51
Speaker 1: or denying or putting something off. It's actually the thing
25:56
Speaker 1: that needs to be that should be addressed sooner than later.
26:01
Speaker 1: You know, For me, I've there's been lots of times
26:03
Speaker 1: over my journey where I've I've pretended that something. You know,
26:08
Speaker 1: I pretended to myself, but also I pretended to others.
26:11
Speaker 1: But you know, there was habits and behaviors and issues
26:15
Speaker 1: and even relationship things that I should have addressed that
26:21
Speaker 1: I that I was always going to get to soon enough.
26:26
Speaker 1: And I guess I one I was avoiding because I
26:29
Speaker 1: didn't want to do something hard. I didn't want to
26:32
Speaker 1: get uncomfortable. And I think I was always telling myself that,
26:38
Speaker 1: you know, it'll work itself out, and we know how
26:42
Speaker 1: that ends. Let's do one more so, if ten out
26:49
Speaker 1: of ten is you using all of your potential? So
26:55
Speaker 1: let's say your potential, the limit of your potential is
26:58
Speaker 1: a ten on the one ten scales, So you're you
27:02
Speaker 1: you optimizing your brain, your talent, your skill, your time,
27:06
Speaker 1: your resources, your relationships, your creativity, your adaptability, your resilience.
27:16
Speaker 1: You optimizing you is ten out of ten optimizing what
27:20
Speaker 1: you have to work with, what's your current number. I
27:25
Speaker 1: don't mean in this moment, I mean generally speaking in
27:29
Speaker 1: your life. I feel like that's a very non committal
27:36
Speaker 1: kind of opening, isn't it. But I feel like it's
27:40
Speaker 1: just Craig Harper's opinion. It is grounded in a kind
27:44
Speaker 1: of research over kind of a long time. But I
27:46
Speaker 1: feel like most people are wasting a lot of their
27:49
Speaker 1: talent and their potential, and they're wasting it because it
27:54
Speaker 1: requires real effort, it requires real courage, it requires real resilience,
27:58
Speaker 1: and it requires real consistency sometimes over a real long
28:04
Speaker 1: fucking time. I'm not I never well. I try not
28:11
Speaker 1: to brag. I don't think I do. I try to
28:14
Speaker 1: be as transparent and authentic and real as possible. But
28:19
Speaker 1: if I'm proud of anything personally, I'm proud of the
28:24
Speaker 1: fact that for what I have to work with, I
28:28
Speaker 1: use a fair bit of my potential. I don't use
28:31
Speaker 1: at all. And there's still other things that I could
28:34
Speaker 1: do better, of course, But for me, who you know
28:39
Speaker 1: the kid that you know that not great genetics, not
28:42
Speaker 1: a brilliant student, all that kind of bullshit. For my
28:45
Speaker 1: starting from where I started from, I've done okay, and
28:50
Speaker 1: I've done okay because I've fully committed and I've as
28:54
Speaker 1: much as I could. I've used what I had to
28:57
Speaker 1: work with. Now you might be listening to the and go, yeah,
29:00
Speaker 1: me too. And if that's you, I'm going to go
29:02
Speaker 1: well done. I still have room to grow and learn
29:05
Speaker 1: and evolve in this space. I still have more potential
29:08
Speaker 1: to tap into, and I'm actually happy with that. I'm
29:11
Speaker 1: happy that i haven't used it all because otherwise now
29:14
Speaker 1: I've peaked and that's kind of depressing. But you know,
29:19
Speaker 1: for you, if you really believe that you are somewhere
29:23
Speaker 1: around a two, three, four or five in terms of
29:27
Speaker 1: how much of your potential you're currently maximizing or exploiting,
29:34
Speaker 1: then that's great. That's great. So now you can roll
29:40
Speaker 1: up your sleeves. Now you can be brave. Now you
29:42
Speaker 1: can make hard decisions. Now you can fully commit, and
29:47
Speaker 1: now you can use more of what you've got. Because
29:50
Speaker 1: we can't change the thing that we won't acknowledge, you're
29:54
Speaker 1: not going to accidentally end up successful. Remember, so the
29:59
Speaker 1: good question to ask would be how do I exploit
30:03
Speaker 1: my talent? How do I exploit or in other words,
30:06
Speaker 1: use more of my potential, and that is going to
30:10
Speaker 1: be the answer is going to be somewhere in Take
30:14
Speaker 1: more chances, do more things, have more conversations, step into
30:19
Speaker 1: the discomfort, don't give up, step up rather than give up,
30:24
Speaker 1: don't do it for fucking two weeks and go oh,
30:27
Speaker 1: I gave it a good go and it didn't work.
30:29
Speaker 1: It will work, or you will work, or even if
30:32
Speaker 1: you don't get the exact outcome that you want, who
30:37
Speaker 1: you become along the way is awesome. As I've said
30:42
Speaker 1: many times, it ain't about the summit. It's about the climb,
30:45
Speaker 1: and you and I are always going to be in
30:47
Speaker 1: the climb. See next time,