Latest / Faithful Fitness With Coach Alex VanHouten / Breaking the Cycle: Holly Tucker on Shame, Healing, and the Joy of Surrender

Transcript

Breaking the Cycle: Holly Tucker on Shame, Healing, and the Joy of Surrender · Faithful Fitness With Coach Alex VanHouten

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Faithful Fitness Podcast. For my Dad, Coach
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Alex van Houghten helps to get stronger and mind, body,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: and spirit. He believes that your body is a temple,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: so taking good care of it is an actual worship.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: I should know.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I live with him every week. He brings truth from
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: the Bible too, of some science and stories that will
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: set your heart on fire. May God bless you to
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: become everything He made you to be, just one percent
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: better every single day.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Hey there, it's knocking out some dumbell pullovers. Welcome to
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: the Faithful Fitness Podcast. I'm your host, coach Alex van Houghten,
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: and I'm so glad you're here. Have you ever thought
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: of your body as a problem to be solved? That's
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: not the right way to think about it. Your body
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: is a temple of the Most High God, and that's
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: what me and Holly Tucker, our guests today, are talking about.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: She is a trauma informed nutritionist who's walked the very
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: painful road of addiction, hookup culture, and religious shame. But
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: she found freedom through her fitness journey, in revelation, wellness,
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: and in her identity in Christ. I can't wait for
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: you to hear this conversation. It's amazing. I also want
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: you to jump into Better Daily Dot Live slash Devo
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: because our pre order for the Faithful Fitness.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Devotional is live now.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: You can get your pre signed copy reserved and join
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: us for the fall launch and the challenge. It's gonna
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: be amazing. It's a very powerful devotional designed over forty
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: days to help you reclaim your strength through mind, body
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: and spirit. That's Better Daily Dot Live Slash Devotional. Now,
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: let's jump into this conversation. I'm gonna jump into this
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  Speaker 3: next set.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: What's up, guys.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: This is coach Alex van Houten on the Faithful Fitness Podcast.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: I'm super excited about the conversation I'm going to have
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: with Holly Tucker today.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Holly, how are you doing today?
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  Speaker 4: Girl? I'm doing really good.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Pumped.
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  Speaker 3: You look bright eyed and bushy tailed. You just finished
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: the workout, didn't you?
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  Speaker 4: I did. I did, trying to release some stress naturally
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: by just getting in the sweat on and even if
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: it's five minutes, you gotta it helps so much.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what's what is the official Holly Tucker pre podcast workout?
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: If you don't mind me sharing?
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: Okay, So it's actually how I got started with my
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: fitness journey through Revelation Wellness, which I'm pretty sure you've
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: heard of, and so I just I click on one
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: of those videos and I think it was Kara Osborne
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: it was that was the instructor, and it was talking
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: about how the heels move. So it wasn't just I mean,
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: it was definitely physical. We were doing like crossjacks and
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: we were doing gosh. I think it was mainly the
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: warm up that I did that I was so vigorously
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: trying to get my sweat out that I was like,
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  Speaker 4: don jump in. Jackson's like, okay, Lord, okay, but yeah,
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  Speaker 4: so lots of cardio this morning.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: I love it.
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  Speaker 3: That's a good way to get get out the jitters
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: or the wiggles. I actually teach teach my children to
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: do the same thing. So I've got I got two
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: boys nine and six years old, and when they have
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: this like anxious energy, it's not anxiety necessarily, it's just
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: like running around. I don't know what to do with myself,
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  Speaker 3: so I'm going to do everything, and it's like, hey,
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  Speaker 3: let's go run the block, let's go let's go do
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: some burpies. Let's go do some jumping jacks. Hey, how
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: many air squads can you do in one minute? And
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: by the time they're done with that, they're good, Like
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: they can they can handle life and stop driving their
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: mom nuts.
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  Speaker 2: It sounds like it works the same for you.
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  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it does definitely. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: So this is going to be an awesome conversation because
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  Speaker 3: today we're going to be talking about a number of things,
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  Speaker 3: but one of those things being that you're on a
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  Speaker 3: journey yourself, and I want to introduce you to our
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: listeners and then and then I have some questions to
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: dig into about the role that our body plays in
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  Speaker 3: what you call the flesh project becoming our spirit project.
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  Speaker 3: So I'm looking forward to that discussion, guys. Holly says that.
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  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. There we go.
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  Speaker 3: Holly is an independent revelation wellness instructor in Winnatchi.
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  Speaker 2: Did I say it right? Winnatchi, Washington? Okay.
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  Speaker 3: She's been married for two years now and is on
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  Speaker 3: her own health and fitness journey. She's passionate about encouraging
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  Speaker 3: others to stop neglecting and obsessing over their bodies instead
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: of embodying their faith as a whole person. Joy in
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  Speaker 3: Motion is her ministry name, and her mission is to
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: encourage others to have joy in moving their bodies and
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  Speaker 3: to find their ultimate joy and purpose in Jesus Christ. Now,
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  Speaker 3: you use the word joy several times in your bio,
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  Speaker 3: and I want to talk about that from a Christian perspective,
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  Speaker 3: because if my listeners are Christians and they've been introduced
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  Speaker 3: to anything in the New Testament, they've probably heard that
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  Speaker 3: the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, kindness, patience, goodness, faithfulness,
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  Speaker 3: and self control depending on your translation. But joy's in there,
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  Speaker 3: and enjoys not something that our culture differentiates from happiness, right,
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  Speaker 3: Like the poster child version of joy is like I'm
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: on vacation and I'm so happy, and I'm with my
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  Speaker 3: dolphin in catching him and very big smiles and everybody's
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  Speaker 3: everybody's laughing.
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  Speaker 2: But that's not necessarily joy. And so given that joy.
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  Speaker 3: Is part of the name of your ministry and something
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  Speaker 3: that recurs in your bio, can you talk to me
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  Speaker 3: about what joy means to you and how you came
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  Speaker 3: to understand that as a Christian.
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  Speaker 4: Yes, I can't. Actually, I'm really glad you asked that,
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  Speaker 4: because that is my entire ministry. And I didn't even
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  Speaker 4: know that was going to be my ministry until God
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  Speaker 4: was like he gave me a revelation. He was like,
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  Speaker 4: by the way, this is what I'm doing in your life.
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  Speaker 4: So I'm just gonna start with this because I don't
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  Speaker 4: know if you've heard of John Piper. Maybe you have.
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  Speaker 4: He's a famous theologian. Yeah, but this is a quote
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  Speaker 4: from him, and it's my favorite quote. So it is
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  Speaker 4: actually one of my favorite quotes. I have many. But
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  Speaker 4: love is the overflow of joy in God that meets
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  Speaker 4: the needs of others. So love is the overjoy of God. Sorry,
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  Speaker 4: love is the overflow, yeah, of joy in God that
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  Speaker 4: meets the needs of others. So my passion actually let
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  Speaker 4: me back up a little bit. So when I chose
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  Speaker 4: Joy in Motion, I was talking to my sister about
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: coming up with a name for this ministry and I
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  Speaker 4: was like, I'm sure I wanted it to sound cool,
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  Speaker 4: and you know how that goes, And so I just
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  Speaker 4: came up with joy in Motion somehow, I can't even
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  Speaker 4: remember how right, and then nothing after becoming an independent
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  Speaker 4: fitness instructor, nothing happened for like aye or actually a
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  Speaker 4: little bit less than a year, and so God is
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  Speaker 4: placing all of these little seeds of joy in my life,
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  Speaker 4: teaching me about joy, teaching me where joy really comes from.
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  Speaker 4: It's not about your body, it's not about what you
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  Speaker 4: look like. It's not about the weight on the scale.
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  Speaker 4: Right when you wake up in the morning and you
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  Speaker 4: lose six tenths of a pound and you're like yes,
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  Speaker 4: and you're so excited and you're happy, and you're like,
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  Speaker 4: I lost six tents of a pound, and then it
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  Speaker 4: like affects your entire day or your week. And then
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  Speaker 4: you get back on the scale the next day because
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: I do, because I weigh myself every day, and you
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  Speaker 4: gain two tenths of a pound, and you're like, you're crushed.
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  Speaker 4: I know, I know. So that happened to me recently.
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  Speaker 4: And so I was sitting on the couch. I weighed
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  Speaker 4: myself and I lost some weight. Next day, I weighed myself,
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  Speaker 4: gained some weight, was sitting on the couch, and that's
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  Speaker 4: when it hit me. I realized, I am so Why
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  Speaker 4: am I so downcast? Why am I so depressed? Right now?
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  Speaker 4: That's how I feel. Why do I feel like my
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  Speaker 4: entire day is ruined? Like everything. Emotionally, I just felt
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  Speaker 4: so depressed and that inspired me. From that moment, I
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  Speaker 4: was like, Okay, I need to what do I need
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  Speaker 4: to do to fight for joy? What do I need
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  Speaker 4: to do fight for joy? I need to get in
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  Speaker 4: the word. And so I got in the word. And
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  Speaker 4: because this is backtracking a little bit more, before I
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  Speaker 4: was fighting for my joy and knew how to fight
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  Speaker 4: for my joy. Doing Revelation Wellness taught me that my
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  Speaker 4: worth and my value are not in my body, They're
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  Speaker 4: not in my weight, and as well as my purpose
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  Speaker 4: in life. My purpose in life was a huge thing
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  Speaker 4: for me, Like I wanted to be a nurse, I
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  Speaker 4: went to school, back and forth, okay, and I I
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  Speaker 4: was struggling with my purpose as well as my weight.
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  Speaker 4: And I realized doing these workouts, I was like crying
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  Speaker 4: in these workouts that I was doing with Revelation Metless
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  Speaker 4: And I'm like, this isn't normal. Why are you crying?
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  Speaker 4: Why am I crying during a workout like I'm doing push?
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  Speaker 4: Not because it was painful, like they're right over, I
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  Speaker 4: just want this to be over. But it was like
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  Speaker 4: so painful, like like emotionally, I was like being healed.
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  Speaker 4: I was being do the scripture that they were pouring out.
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  Speaker 4: They were telling me things that like, you're loved, get big,
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  Speaker 4: get big, make yourself big, God sees you. You have
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  Speaker 4: a song to sing another care of Osborne workout. I
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  Speaker 4: have my favorite instructors. Right, So anyways, I I was like, okay,
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  Speaker 4: so learning that, learning and pouring the word of God
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  Speaker 4: into my mind. It was transforming me. It was transforming me.
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  Speaker 4: And this is is just part of this is like
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  Speaker 4: the end of my testimony really because yeah, I started
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  Speaker 4: out from a very young age with food addiction and
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  Speaker 4: a lot of my joy it came from food growing
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  Speaker 4: up because I grew up without a dad in the
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  Speaker 4: home and so I and I was a latch key kid.
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  Speaker 4: So my mom was at work, I was going to school,
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  Speaker 4: going home, taking care of myself essentially with my older siblings.
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  Speaker 4: Obviously they were there too, but we were all just
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: kind of like doing crazy things like not even probably
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: appropriate to say, but so a lot of my joy
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  Speaker 4: and everything I was surrounded by food a lot, and
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: my mom it was so important for her to know
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: that Jesus loved me, and so she instilled that in
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  Speaker 4: my life. Think the Lord I got I had a
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: mom like that, and so so, yeah, so I grew
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: up really being addicted to food started at a young
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: age five, six seven years old. But I also had
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: some serious, like emotional problems as well, and I believe
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: I was I had suicidal thoughts at age seven, and
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: I remember being in my room and some of these
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: times I was probably actually in trouble and I was
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: just emotional. But yeah, I had this thought, this reoccurring
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  Speaker 4: thought that no one loves you. You're not loved, and
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: that was super That was just in my life, like
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: all the time. And yeah, I was bullied a lot
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  Speaker 4: as a kid, and the weight just kept escalating right
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  Speaker 4: like exponentially. So by the time I was in high school,
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: I was three hundred and ten pounds my senior year
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: of high school. And then I got on the scale
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  Speaker 4: and I had this moment where my something switched in
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: my brain where I was like, no, I'm done. I'm
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: just I'm done. And so I started losing weight, but
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  Speaker 4: I didn't lose weight. It wasn't like the healthy way.
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: I was following all these fad diets and what I
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: really wanted was someone to love me. So I saw
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: I was losing weight and I started getting attention from guys,
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: even from just coworkers, like people, employers saw me differently,
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: treated me differently, And so it confirmed the lie that
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: I believed at a very young age that I'm not loved,
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: I'm not good enough unless I have this perfect body,
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: unless I'm skinny. It wasn't about health or anything like that.
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: It was just you're not a size two or three whatever,
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: then you can't play with us on the playground, you
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: know what I mean. And so that was that was
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: the lie I believed. And so I'm gonna grab a
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: drink really quick because I get really talk a lot.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: Well, and you just finished the workout, so you know,
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: dry mouth post workout and whatnot.
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  Speaker 4: Story, thank you, coach. Uh so, so yeah, so I'm
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  Speaker 4: at this point. I'm in I finished high school, barely
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: graduated because I was in a crowd that like accepted me, right,
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  Speaker 4: And that's a huge problem. I think it's when you're
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: when you're a teenager and no one accepts you because
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: you're overweight, You're gonna go to the people, You're gonna
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: hang out with the people who accept you, right. And
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: so by the time I was I barely graduated high school.
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: I was going to college at to come a community
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: college for my nursing degree. Right, I was trying to
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: get my preres done, and I met this guy who
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: was eighteen years older than me, whoa teen years older
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: than me, and my mom yeah, she yeah, it was
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: more than whoa with her. She was like, oh, heck, no,
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: oh no, you are not about to abuse my baby.
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean in any way, you know,
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: because I was so young, I was barely eighteen, but
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: I was so hungry for love. I was so hungry
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: for some attention, for someone to look at me and
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: say I see you you. And so at that point
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: it got worse before it gets better, it got way worse.
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: And I'm going through I'm in my twenties. I start
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: meeting more people who were not the greatest crowd. You know.
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: My best friend ended up being somebody who was a
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: She did recreational drugs, and so I got into so
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: not only was I addicted to food, right, I started
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: getting obsessed with losing weight the unhealthy way, doing different
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: fad diets. Then I got addicted to drugs. Wow, and
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: really does come to steal, to kill, and to destroy? Right?
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: So yeah, and so and the whole time I believed
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: in Jesus like I knew who God was, right, I
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: was baptized at a young age, but I didn't really
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: live for Jesus. And so I'm dating throughout my twenties
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: all of these guys who in each relationship I'm in
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: failure after failure after failure, and I keep internalizing it
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: and internalizing it. And what's what's messed up is when
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: you believe a lie that Satan has planted at a
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: young age. Then when you lose weight, the world confirms
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: you and confirms the lie that you believed at a
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: young age. So it doesn't help, right, And so I believed, yep,
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: I'm might value my worth, my joy, everything in life
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: is only going to come from a man. And I
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: really like in my thin body right because I was
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: seeking for love. But when I didn't realize that, what
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: I know now is that I was seeking the love
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: of a father because I didn't have a consistent father
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: growing up. And I realized it was love of Jesus
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: that I was missing in my life. It was full
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: surrender to Jesus and his love as a father father
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: to the fatherless. And so before it gets really good,
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: I went, I was in a my final I guess
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: I call it my final bad relationship. And this was
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: I never told myself I was. I always told myself
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: sorry that I was. I was never going to do
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: hard drugs. I did recreational drugs. I you know, I partied,
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: I slept around a lot, and because I was looking
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: for love, right, I was using my body for that.
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: And I told myself was never going to do hard drugs.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: But when the final relationship ended, because of a lot
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: of prayer, a lot of prayer from my mom, a
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: lot of prayer from people saying, Lord, she won't leave him,
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: make him leave her, make her and you, he did.
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: He ended up leaving me, and he was high on
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: heroin in his trailer. I was living with him at
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: the time, with his family. It was kind of like
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: a compound. It was kind of weird, but it wasn't
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: a cult. I swear, it was just the whole family
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: lived together. So I remember going over to his parents'
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: house across the way and I told his dad, I said,
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: your son is literally high on heroin right now in
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: the trailer, not one word from him, like it was
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: just like he didn't even hear me, And I think
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: the thing was it wasn't like I was. I was
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: trying to I was trying to catch him. I was
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: trying to, like say, look what he's doing. And I
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: don't know why. I don't know. I think it was
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: just I wanted to hang on to the relationship so badly.
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: And finally when he that was the point when he
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: was like, I can't believe you stayed with me this long. Yeah,
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: he said that to me, and then he was like
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: he broke up with me, and I was devastated. I
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: was so broken. My rock bottom basically was that. And
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: then I ended up moving in with friends and living
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: with friends, and then I started sleeping with some of
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: his friends. And then I started doing meth myself and
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: other things myself. And thank god, only for a short
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: amount of time. It wasn't years, wasn't drawn out. It
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: was only for like maybe a year. And I was
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: so broken. And then my sister, my best friend, Rachel,
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: she and her husband made good choices in their life.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: Thank you Jesus. I'm so glad they did. And because
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: they were my anchor, and they let me move back
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: in with them and they let me, they let me
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: get they let me heal. You know, it wasn't like
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: and I was still struggling with getting off of drugs
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: and all of that and quitting smoking. Okay, So then
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: my mom is diagnosed with a terminal illness. My faith anchor,
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: the one person in my life who taught me about Jesus,
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: is dying. So I was like, okay. So I started
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: taking care of my mom because I was a CNA, right,
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: I'm a CNA, and so I was able to do that.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: And then I lose my job at this bakery that
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: I was working at, and then I go to safe Way,
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: working at Safeway in Leavenworth, Washington, and I meet my
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: future husband. At the same time, my mom is dying,
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: all this pulmonary fibrosis, and at the time, I didn't
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: know what God was doing. I did not know before
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: I met him. I remember praying, all right, Lord, I'm
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: either done with men forever because of all of the
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: relationships I've been in. If I was Catholic, i'd be
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: a nun. But I'm done. I just went Jesus. And
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: so I started coming back to my faith as I
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: was taking care of my mom and she saw me
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: quit smoking, and I was, you know, losing all of
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: those drug addictions, but I started gaining back. So I
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: lost originally one hundred and sixty pounds. I told you
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: I was three hundred and ten pounds, lost one hundred
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: and pounds, started gaining back all of that really fast,
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: really fast after that last breakup and then I So
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: what happened was I meet this guy who I didn't
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: think anything of. I'm just a really friendly person, really bubbly,
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: and I was just like nice to him, and he
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: thought I was like hitting on him. I think like
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: flirting with him, you know what I mean. So, huh,
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: that's what happens to be careful girls, because just because
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: you're nice, you know, so sometimes it comes across differently.
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: But it was good for me because I got to
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: meet my husband. So yeah, So he was working at
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: Safeway and in the approachache department and I'm right next
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: to him. This is like God's sovereignty, seriously, because a
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: few years prior, when I was still doing still struggling
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: with drugs and stuff, I met him in a booth
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: at a restaurant. We had mutual friends. We were actually
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: in the same booth together, and before that, God, we
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: were in the same Vicinity at a Christian concert when
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: we were kids and didn't know it in Winnacui, Washington,
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: Wow and yeah, and so we didn't know. We didn't
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: remember each other from the booth, from the restaurant. And
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: he came over one day and was like, Hey, would
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: you like to go on a date with me? And
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: I was like sure, Okay, Yeah, I just said yes
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: because I have a hard time saying no, apparently, so
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, sure, you know. And part of
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: it really was because I knew he was a Christian.
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: Otherwise I wouldn't have done it because I've I've been
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: through so many bad relationships, right, So so yeah, so
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: I said yes, and then we went on a date
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: and I had all of these butterfly feelings. And but
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: what was weird was like I wasn't like, oh my gosh,
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: I'm in love with this guy because of his body.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: I'm in love with this guy because he's so cool
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: love with It wasn't like that it was weird. It
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: was like, it's like, yeah, he's okay, he's all right.
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: He believes in Jesus. That's the most important thing, right,
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: and so, but he really liked me, and I was
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: back up to two hundred and something when he met me,
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: and I remember praying to God, God, I want to
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: meet a man who loves me for me, okay, so
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: that I know that was God? And so yeah, So
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: we went on a few dates and then my mom
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: got worse and I broke up with him. After we
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: made it official, I ended up breaking up with him
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: and saying, I can't do this right now. I can't
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: handle it, you know. And I wasn't I wouldn't say
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: fully surrendered to God yet, and I my mom passed away.
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: My husband now ended up showing up to the funeral,
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: and so he was always kind of there in the background,
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: being there. He was there for me. And then now
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: transitioning my mom passed away, my stepdad came back into
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: my life and started reading Scripture with me every day,
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: and if I couldn't do it every day, he was like,
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: let's just read one chapter. Let's just read this, because
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: when the person closest to you dies, you start questioning
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: your faith and you start shinning. Okay, is God real?
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: He has to be because if this is it, the
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: person you know is dead. God has to be real.
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: And so I struggled for a little bit, but my
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: stepdad helped me. And it was definitely through the word
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: of God. It was through the word of God pouring
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: the Word of God into my life that was slowly
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: changing me. And I remember we got married, everything's all happy,
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: We're good. I got married and then I started hearing
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: those lies again about my body, about my body image.
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: And I remember before I encountered revelation all lists or
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: anything like that, I was crying on my bed and
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: I was I was crying and I was like crying
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: out to Jesus and I was like, I'm done. I'm tired.
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: I'm tired of being overweight. I've lost so much weight
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: I gained all of it back. I had to do
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: it again, and so I hit I was broken. I
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: realized I'm broken. And then I found Kim Dolan Letto first.
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: So she did fit God's way and stuff. I don't
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: know if you know her, but she's It was pretty
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: cool to uh find her infro and get started on
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: on just learning about how God incorporates you know, how
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: how we're, how we're meant to be, just how or
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: who are who we are as as children of God.
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: And so I'm on that journey and then I hear
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: a podcast with Alisa Keaton on it, and then and
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: She's doing this whole revelation wellness thing, and then I
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: was like what, And so I started looking up on YouTube.
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: I was like looking up these videos and that's when
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: I noticed. I was like, something is weird about this.
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: It's good weird because I'm crying as I'm working out.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: I don't even know. So I'm like, Okay, this is it.
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: I want to share it. I want to share it
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: so bad. And then I was struggling still with my
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: purpose in life too, going back to school, trying to
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: figure out what I wanted to do, and and I
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: was working as a medical assistant for a foot and
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: angle surgeon at the time, and I was like, uh,
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: I don't know if I really like this, you know
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: what I mean. So I'm back in school, then I
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: drop out, and then I'm like, I'm gonna go back later.
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: But I need to do this fitness thing. Something is
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: telling me that I need to become a fitness teacher
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: gospel preacher. And so when I decided to sign up,
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: I didn't have two grand in my pocket to just
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: do this, you know. So I was like, maybe there's
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: a scholarship or something that I can you know, so,
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: but no, it didn't work out. And I was like, Okay, God,
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: I feel like this is my purpose in life. I
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: feel like you just dropped this bowl of gold in
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: my lap, and it's like this, this is it's just
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: meant to be. I have to be a fitness teacher,
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: gospel preacher. So I ended up doing it. I talked
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: to my husband and he was like, okay, yeah, we
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: can do it. There was a payment plan and stuff.
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: So I did it and then I did the ten
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: I think it was like ten weeks, a ten week course,
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: really short. It was nice and and I did some
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: more healing in that and I remember during that time
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: they were doing a it's kind of like a party,
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: I guess you could say, at the end where you graduate.
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: And I remember having an image for the first time
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: of me. I see the cross in the background, right,
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: and I'm laying down. I'm standing there, and Jesus is
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: there but not on the cross, okay, and he's reaching
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: in grabbing my heart, taking it out the broken one,
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: laying laying it down. I'm laying it down at the
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: foot of the cross where the blood is flowing down
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: and the blood comes into the heart and then he
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: picks it up, he puts it back in me. That's
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: literally the image of a restored heart. And I was like,
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: oh my gosh. So that was like my I'm surrendering
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: to you moment. And then after that, I was like, Okay,
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: what what do I do with this fitness thing? And
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: uh so it, like I said, there was a huge
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: dry period there still kind of is where I'm just like,
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: I don't know what I'm doing reallyness with this thing.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: But for a while there, I was trying to make
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: it more about me and trying to be like, yes,
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: I have a purpose now and yes, you know, but
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: it's not about that. And I learned that it's not
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: about that. It's about it's about Jesus. It's about us.
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: It's about what he did and what He's going to
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: do through me. And so that being said, I started
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: doing workouts in the park this summer and I was like, Okay,
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: I'm just gonna step out in faith and I'm gonna
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: just do some workouts in the park and the whole
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: joy thing. It's really coming full circle now because I
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: know that my my goal in life is to seek
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: my maximum amount of joy in Jesus, because joy really
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: isn't It doesn't mean happiness. It has nothing to do
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: with happiness. Happiness is an emotion and joy is something
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: that is because you're a spiritual being. It even says
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: in the Bible that God experiences these emotions, he experiences anger.
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: He experienced it in a spiritual body. He doesn't have
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: a physical body. And so learning that, I'm like, okay,
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: So I'm a physical spiritual being and my happiness, like
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: because I didn't get a promotion, okay for example, or
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: I didn't lose the six tenths of a pound, it's
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: okay because I can still have joy. Joy is a
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: choice and it's not easy. It's not It is a struggle,
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: and I have to fight for my joy every single day.
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: I do that through the word of God.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: I do that through the word of God. And so
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: I'm fighting for my joy in Him and I'm seeking
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: out full joy in Him. And it's it's not easy.
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: It's not because the world will tell you that your
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: joy is going on vacations, and your joy is, you know,
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: having all the toys and having the house and the
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: pool and whatever.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Your joy is vacation with dolphins.
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: That's the I'm sorry, that's an accent.
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: I don't know where that came from. So I want
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: to thank you so much for being so open and
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: honest about your testimony. It's a powerful testimony. You You
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: you have in uh in rare form. You've tied up
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: wrestling with the lack of the love of a father.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: You've tied up the idea of searching for joy and
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: the wrong things, whether it's relationships that that aren't of God,
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: whether it's food addiction, whether it's even and drugs you have.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: You have tied up grief and God's providence within within grief.
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: There and you've also tied in the the journey of
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: seeing that the physical body can be in service to
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: the spirit or can be its own conduit to idolatry,
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: which is which is you know, me using my body
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: in a way it was never meant to be used,
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: and and also being so focused on how it appears
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: and whether or not that's good and bad all that stuff,
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: and so so I just want to say thank you,
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: first of all for for being so truthful and.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Also honest in your testimony.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: I think it's a powerful and I think it speaks
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: deeply to a number of things that many of our
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: listeners have likely wrestled with or are currently wrestling with.
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: So I hope, I hope that resonates with them. I
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: want to I want to dive into a couple aspects
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: of what you spoke about, because because it's it's important.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: So so you mentioned this, this difference between happiness and joy,
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: but I leave it's tied to what Jesus called the
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: Greatest two commandments. Right, So when the Pharisees are trying
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: to nail Jesus down, I think it's some.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: Lawyer or whatever.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: They're like, hey, what's the greatest two commandments? And there's
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: like six hundred something commandments. So they're asking him a
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: no win question, right, because because if he identifies one
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: over all the others, it's like, well, what about don't
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: boil a baby goat and it's mother's milk or something
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: like that.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: You know it's there, It's in Leviticus. It's very funky anyway.
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: So so Jesus replies to them, and he does so
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: as Jesus does in a way that shuts everybody up
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: because they don't want to ask him any more questions.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: They look stupid.
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: He says, love the Lord your God, with all your heart,
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: with all your soul, with all your mind, and all
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: your strength. Right, And then he says, the second one
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: is like it, love your neighbor as yourself.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: The question is how is that like that? And the
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: answer is, actually in your story.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: If I am searching for love and I believe that
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: love comes to me in a way that it doesn't
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: actually right, believe that a guy loves me because I'm
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: fifty pounds lighter than I used to be, whatever, and
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: that's affirming to me, and my coworkers love me more,
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: and my siblings love me more, and my mom loves
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: me moor whatever.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: Like.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: If I believe that about love, what's interesting is I
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: will pour that love out to others. That's the law
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: that I will use to pour out to others. The
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: way that I experience and understand love is the love
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: that I will give to others.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: And it's a very strange thing.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: It's a very strange thing because if if my love
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: is not divinely inspired, then the same judgment I believe
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: that others are passing on me is the judgment I
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: will pass on them, even if I don't want to
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: write like, that's the thing I've been the fat girl
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: in my life quote unquote. Right, So I will try
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: really hard not to judge others that way, but because
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: that's always in my mind and heart, that's what's going
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: to come out, like, that's how I'm going to treat people.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: That's how I'm going to affect people. It becomes a
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: mirror of the way I experience love. But your story
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: talks about how you found the love of the Father,
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: and the love of the Father isn't contingent on how
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: you operate the love of the Father because of Jesus.
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: The love of the Father is. I created you. I
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: know you, I knit you together in your mother's room.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: I love you period.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: Otherwise you wouldn't be here.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: And I made a way for you to bridge the
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: gap when all your sins, so that MY love can
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: be poured out on you without without any obstructions.
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: If I know the love of the Father, then I
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: can love my neighbor as myself. If I can love
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: somebody else the way God loves me. It comes back
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: to your John Piper quote. It's an overflow.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: It's like, well, I can't help but love you God,
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: loves me so much.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: That I'm just gonna love you and it feel like
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: if you don't like it, you can go somewhere else.
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, pretty much.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So it sounds like that translated to you starting
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: to work out in a park, right, So, like was
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: this a thing? You just go to a park and
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: start working out? Like, how how did this? How did
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: this happen for you?
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: Pretty much? So it's only been like I think, I
• 35:16
  Speaker 4: think about a month. Maybe I remember my first workout
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: that I ever wanted to do didn't happen. I'm just
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: gonna say that now because I was sick and that's
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: what led to a lot of not doing anything right. So,
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: but yeah, so I work out in East Winatchi's across
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: the bridge, Okay, it's not too far away, at a
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: public park. And it came to me because I guess
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: my husband told me this. He said, you need to try,
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: you need to try, because I was about to give
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: up because I do struggle with that. I struggle with
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: it's not happening. It's not happening, and I don't know
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: how to make it happen. And it just came to
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: me and I was like I would remember some of
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: the instructors that I learned from were like I started
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: out in a park, and so I was like, okay.
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: So I started actually doing some research and I was
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: asking the park in Rex, and I was like, so
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: do I can I work out in the park like
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: with people?
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: Do I have?
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: You? Like?
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: How does this work? And so I remember I got
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: two different answers, one from the Winachi side saying, yeah,
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: you have to have like this business thing or whatever,
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: like a permit, and the other lady I talked to
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: was like, it's a park, it's free, go ahead, and
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: so I was like okay, So it's like, well, worst
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: thing that could happen. So I'm like going through all
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: of these like scenarios in my head, the worst case scenarios,
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: and and I was like, I'm just gonna do it,
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: and if they kick me out of the park whatever,
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: so I go, yep, yeah that's I was like, okay,
• 36:48
  Speaker 4: I'm trying not to be free to failure. And so
• 36:51
  Speaker 4: I created some flyers and this is probably because I
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: tend to I think I did this to myself. But
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: I only put out a few flyers, just a.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Little so you don't bother anybody.
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah really, yeah, I was like, you know, I don't
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: know where I can hang these up. You know. My
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: husband's like, just hang them on a post, hanging them on,
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: just hang them everywhere. I ended up hanging at like
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: one flyer and then I told my neighbor, and then
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: I told a couple other people who I knew, and
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: then I was like, okay, because in the back of
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: my mind, I'm like, this is this is weird. I
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: shouldn't be doing this or whatever. No one's gonna come
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: because I'm overweight. Still, I'm still on my journey. I've
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: lost like seventy pounds, but I'm still you know, cause
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: in my back of my head, I think I have
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: to be a certain size to do this wrong. You don't.
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: You don't. First of all, that's a lie. And so
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: I go and the only person who shows up only people.
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: Actually I shouldn't even say that, but whatever, my sister
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: and my mother in law. That was it. That was
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: my that was my those were my people. And I
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: was like, okay, huh, all right. But then something happened
• 38:04
  Speaker 4: where God planted this in my mind and he was
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: like do it again. And I was like, Okay, I'm
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: going to do it again. And so I was like,
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: instead of just doing it once, I'm going to do
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: a workout every Saturday. But I'm going to do the
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: same workout, so I'm not like stressed out about it. Right,
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: And the workout that I did, which is weird and
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: it has to it ties in with the joy thing
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: is I was like, Okay, I want to talk about
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: joy and happiness. I want to talk about the difference.
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: And it's the lies we believe about joy, the lies
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: we believe about joy. And the first time I did it,
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: I talked so much through it because of my nerves.
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: Even though it was just my sister and stuff that
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: I she was like giving me good criticism and I
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: was like, I was like, I don't know what to do.
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: And then I practiced and practiced at home, and the
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: Lord gave me so much joy that just and all
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: I did was I was I decided to change some
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: of my workout techniques. And I was like, Okay, I'm
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: not going to just talk to sistory. It's not go
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: doesn't have to be perfect, right, kind of like this interview.
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: be it's whatever. And so I was like, I'm just
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: gonna try to smile through this whole workout, and I'm
• 39:27
  Speaker 4: gonna see if I can get the people who are
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: doing it with me. Just my sister, by the way,
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: she was my only person. But that's okay because it
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: doesn't matter. Right. The point is being there, showing up
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: even when no one's there, and then eventually God might
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: place one person there who is like, who needs to
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: hear that message because we all have a story and
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: we all have some good stuff when we read the
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: word of God, right, and it's an overflow. So I
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: was doing this practice and I'm like smiling, and I'm like,
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: have you ever seen them show Friends?
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: Yep?
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: Okay, do you remember the episode where maybe you don't,
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: but it's pretty funny where Rachel and Phoebe were running
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: in the park And okay, I'm Phoebe. I'm Phoebe, so like,
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: and my sister is Rachel, yes, and literally her name
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: is Rachel. Yes, chel, but her name is Rachel's not
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: totally worked, but anyways, so yeah, and I'm like the
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: hippie I don't know anyways.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: So but you're.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: Smiling the whole time and you might even look silly
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: doing it, but everybody is interested in what you're up
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: to exactly.
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: And and actually we did have some stairs we did.
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: We did, but that's okay. Maybe it planted a seed.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: So I'm in my I keep looking over there because
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm looking at the spot where it happened,
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: where the Phoebe moment happened. So I'm like running, I'm
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: doing the workout, and I decided to do a Tobata
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: form workout because I was like, I really want to
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: get a cardio in and blah blah blah. Anyways, so
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: I I'm I'm like what I was I doing. I
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: was doing scissors, That's what I was doing. I was
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: doing scissors, and I was trying to find like a
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: modification form and also whatever and like just a regular form.
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: And the music is playing. It's joyful, and I just
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: start raising my hands up and I'm like, thank you
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: Jesus for my body and just it just it was
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: like the Holy Spirit came upon me and I was
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: just like this is it. And I started laughing, laughing, laughing.
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: I started laughing, and I was just like, oh my gosh,
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: and I was like I'm Phoebe. And then I just
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: started running, like my arms and I had the image
• 41:36
  Speaker 4: and I was I was so full of joy though,
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: and I was like, this is part of the point.
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: It's it's not about how I look. It's not about
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: how I look. And I don't care what people think of me.
• 41:48
  Speaker 4: I don't care if I breathe too hard. I don't
• 41:50
  Speaker 4: care anymore. It's like I'm supposed to breathe. It's called oxygen.
• 41:54
  Speaker 4: It's called oxygen. If you have a problem with that,
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: then I do you not breathe? Like? I don't know?
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: So so yeah, it's just that joy that you feel
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: when when you're working out, and I want other people
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: to experience that. I want people to be in their bodies,
• 42:09
  Speaker 4: not looking to the left or to the right and
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: looking at oh man, I don't look enough, or oh man,
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: I have this. It's like you're working out, not only
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: for a reason. Hello, like you're working out. You're no
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, thank you
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: very much. Like you are you are doing it, And
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: so I get excited.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I well, I had this.
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: I had this picture in my mind of David doing
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: flips into the into Jerusalem while his wife's watching him.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: With the ark of the covenant and she's like, you're
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: not behaving very kingly right now. And he's like, I'll
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: get even more undignified than this, Like I'm going to
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: do my flips. It's it's between me and God. You
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: can you can chill out. And then she was like
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: struck Barren or something like that. She didn't produce any
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: more children to take that. But but I will say
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: that that there's a first of all, I'm a dad.
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: I have a nine and a six year old. I
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: grew up without my dad in the home as well,
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: so we share that in our story. And one of
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: the things I've learned about the love of the father
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: and the spirit of the father. And I don't necessarily
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: mean big f father. I mean the thing that a
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: dad can do for us, our earthly fathers can do
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: for us, which is to speak into both lies, but
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: also to encourage.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: That's what fathers do.
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: We encourage and Exhort encourage is like high five, great,
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: let's go. And Exhort's like a kick in the pants.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: Like that's the difference between like kicking the pants. Sometimes
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: you need a kick in the pants. You're going the
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: wrong way, you go that way, yes, sir, and so.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: You go that way.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: But I do want to speak this over you, since
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: this is something that your dad got to speak over you,
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: and you can receive it or not, that's up to you.
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: But that said, I do want to speak over you
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: that God's strength is made perfect in your weakness. You
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: don't have to be at the end of your fitness
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: journey for other people to find themselves in a place where.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: They want to follow you. They want to be a
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: part of the joy.
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: They want to see their bodies move well and then
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: and then to point in that direction. If anything, you
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: might actually be in a more powerful position than than
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: fitness influencers and stuff in our secular world, because everybody's
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: trying to look like the influencer instead of seeing who
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: God made them to be, right, And that's a that's
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: a huge deal.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: That's to say.
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: If anything I would like to emulate, I would like
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: to emulate Holly's joy. I would like to understand how
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: God loves me that much.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: I would like to move.
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: With so much freedom that I'm just happy about being
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: able to exercise, rather than going like, oh my god,
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: it's the workout today, you know, like, well this is
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: awful and everybody's watching me. It's like like Holly, Holly
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: could care less. So I'm gonna do that too. And
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: and that's like, that's such a powerful thing. So I
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: want to speak that over you. The God's strength has
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: made perfect in that weakness in you. And and I
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: also want to connect with you on this level.
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: Is that?
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: Uh?
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: So I have I have a genetic a sort are
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: called Eeler's dan los. So much of my health and
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: fitness struggle. You can't tell my looking at me unless
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: I let that disease get the better of me, because
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: then I'd be hooked on pain pills on a couch somewhere,
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: because that's that's how people with this disease often often manifest.
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: On that front, it can easily be be guessed if
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: you meet me or something like, oh, that guy's in
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: great shape. It's easy for him to talk about nutrition,
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: it's easy for him to talk about exercise.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: It's easy for him.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: And because they just can't see my struggle. But in
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: your health and fitness journey, your struggle with wrestling with
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: finding love in the wrong places, and wrestling with your
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: weight and stuff, your struggle is something that somebody can
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: relate with. They can see like, oh man, she's not perfect.
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: I'm not perfect either, by the way, but she's not perfect.
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: So so I am.
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: More confident about coming into this practice without having to
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: be perfect. I think it's if you can bear that
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: burden well, because it is a burden. It's across to
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: carry for sure.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: But if you can do that.
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: There is something amazing that can happen in the lives
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: of individuals that you can reach that other individuals in
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: the health and fitness world cannot reach. So so I
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: just want to speak those two things over you. I
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: believe there are two truths. I believe that's like, you
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: need to put out more flyers. You need to like
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: you need to. You need to every time you're at church,
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: you're like, Hey, I'm doing a christ centered workout in
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: the park this day. You should be there, not because
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: you're out of shape or anything, but because we're gonna
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: have fun and and.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: We're gonna you're gonna be in the joy of the Lord.
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: There's gonna be a lot of the scripture there, like
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: just come for the show. Like if you're not gonna work,
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: you just like we're gonna you're gonna laugh.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: Like while we're doing this thing and you.
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: Can't help but get in right and and and don't
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: don't be afraid to invite people because at the at
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: the end of the day, Jesus was the perfect evangelist.
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: He never sinned, he was humble, it says uh, and
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: and that that he did every thing perfect. And yet
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: he and he invited a lot of people to follow him,
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: and many did not.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: He called it the narrow way.
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: In fact, he was like, many will not follow this pathway,
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: but I'm inviting you, you know, and and so so
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: anyway that that said, I hope that's an encouragement to you.
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: I hope that you'll you'll continue on that because because
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: what I believe, Holly, is that you you seeking to
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: glorify God and your health and fitness journey is going
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: to be contagious. It's going to be something that that
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: people want to be a part of. And I want
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: to encourage you to do that and do it fully.
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: Don't don't don't like uh, maybe one fly er. I
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: don't want to bother abody. No, you bother everybody. You
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: bother everybody. You're coming to my park workout and you're
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: gonna like it. And and if they don't like it.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: That's on them.
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: But but but they should come because it would be awesome.
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: Thank you. I do receive that, I really do, and
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: I just that is super encouraging. Thank you. And I
• 48:00
  Speaker 4: I want to tell you one little thing too, that
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: so God put in my mind. I think it was
• 48:07
  Speaker 4: last week that because I was praying about it, like
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: a vision. Like I was like, Lord, I need a
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: vision because i don't know where this is going. And
• 48:17
  Speaker 4: I'm a part of the really big church and I
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: feel very small. But it's okay, and I'm starting to
• 48:24
  Speaker 4: be okay with that. I'm learning to be humble and
• 48:27
  Speaker 4: I'm learning that it's okay and nobody needs to see me.
• 48:30
  Speaker 4: And so I started, you know, volunteering at work and stuff,
• 48:33
  Speaker 4: and long story short, I was sitting at my table
• 48:37
  Speaker 4: and I was praying about it. So I was doing
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: a devotional and which is what I try to do
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: every day.
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: And.
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: I just saw myself doing a five k and I've
• 48:48
  Speaker 4: never done that before and it's only I think about
• 48:50
  Speaker 4: three point one miles from what yeah, from what I
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: looked up. And then God gave me a vision. He's like, Okay,
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: you're going to do a couch to five K event,
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: and you're going to ask all of the churches in
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: your city or the big ones anyways, And so I did.
• 49:07
  Speaker 4: I emailed all of them, my church, which I was
• 49:11
  Speaker 4: I thought would be most apprehensive about, saying yeah, let's
• 49:14
  Speaker 4: do it. Because the thing is is my vision wasn't
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: just let's do this five K event. It was the
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: whole you know, loving others. Right. So I I was like,
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: I want to charge people, and I want them to come,
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: and I want them to I want all of the
• 49:37
  Speaker 4: money to go to building gardens in our community, at
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: the church, at the Christian school, and I want to
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: the money to go to nourishing single home families. And
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: I want the money to go to families who don't
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: have the means to buy tools or rent tools to
• 50:01
  Speaker 4: maintain their yards or their house projects. And I just
• 50:04
  Speaker 4: had these ideas going through my mind, and I was like, huh,
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: what if? What if? What if? And I'm super scared.
• 50:13
  Speaker 4: I am super not into I'm not into it. I
• 50:17
  Speaker 4: don't want to do it, but I'm going to do it.
• 50:20
  Speaker 4: And I asked my uh, one of the one of
• 50:24
  Speaker 4: the church members, he's actually a pastor at the church.
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: He's also a fitness coach actually, and he's huge and
• 50:31
  Speaker 4: he is pretty awesome. And I texted him and I said, hey,
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: this is my vision. I have never done this before.
• 50:39
  Speaker 4: I want to give the proceeds to the church. Can
• 50:43
  Speaker 4: we do this? And he said, I love all of this.
• 50:47
  Speaker 4: And so I was like, okay, So we don't have
• 50:49
  Speaker 4: a date yet, and I still have to talk to
• 50:51
  Speaker 4: him about stuff and see what's going to happen. But
• 50:54
  Speaker 4: God's doing something there and I wanted to share that
• 50:57
  Speaker 4: with you because it's not just it is just like
• 51:01
  Speaker 4: just going out stepping out in faith and doing the
• 51:03
  Speaker 4: workouts in the park, for sure, but God's doing something
• 51:06
  Speaker 4: even bigger. And I just I just know that the
• 51:09
  Speaker 4: joy that I have in God, and just He's going
• 51:12
  Speaker 4: to use my weaknesses like you were saying. And and
• 51:15
  Speaker 4: we're going to do hopefully an event in Win actually
• 51:18
  Speaker 4: five k event, and it's going to go to nourishing
• 51:21
  Speaker 4: people and and uh, just helping people like me.
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: And are you going to run like Phoebe in this
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: five k? Because if that's the that might need to
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: be the marketing poster.
• 51:36
  Speaker 4: People do it, then just to watch right.
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: Well and and and and because if I can run
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: a five k.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: You can run a five k, right, Like, that's that's
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: the message.
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: And I say that very often in my own my
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: own practice, like, look, if I can do this, you
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: can do this. I know I look like I should
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: be able to do this, but but I wrestle with
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: pain every day. I wrestle with sublications every day. I
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: wrestle with you know, insert issue related to elers dailyss.
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: I wrestle with those things every day. So if I can,
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: you can definitely do this that that's that's huge, That's
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: an amazing mission. I'm really glad that that you shared
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: that with us.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: I had.
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: I had a similar experience with regard to writing the
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: devotional that we're in the process of publishing for the
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: Faithful Fitness podcast. It's called Faithful Fitness, a forty day
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: devotional for Christian health and stewardship. And and I at
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: one point in my my journey, I was an atheist.
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: I would have told you God wasn't real, He's not there.
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: I wasn't a militant atheist. I didn't I didn't believe
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: that I needed to tear down other people's beliefs to
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: make me feel better about myself. I thought faith was
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: a beautiful, naive thing, and so so in my in
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: my world, it was like, well, I don't I don't
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: want to step anybody's toes. It would be awesome to
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: be trapped in some magical matrix where everything's great and joyful, right,
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: and and so so I remember when God laid this
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: on my heart. Later in my journey to write a devotion,
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: I'm like, that freaks me out, Like, how am I
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: supposed to tell people what to think and how to
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: feel about particular passages of Scripture? I'm going to try
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: to tie that to this, to this vanity laden area
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: of fitness in the in the world. It's so so
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: much secular stuff has been poured into that, like, like,
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: you really want me to do this?
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: Really? I was terrified. I was like that that doesn't
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: make any sense.
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: And and what's so interesting is every single step that
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: I took toward doing that grew me as a person
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: and increased the integrity of the end product. In the
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: same way, it sounds like God's laid a vision on
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: your heart.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: Sorry, there's a wasp. Yeah, take that.
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: God's laid vision on your heart that will challenge you
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: to become whom He made you to be. And I
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: would say that that's the interesting thing when we think
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: about like an event or a product or whatever that
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: that's on our heart to create or complete, it's it's
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: not necessarily the end goal that that God's after in
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: our heart and mind. For us, it's it's the process
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: of becoming who He made us to be. I think
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: about Moses right earning Bush tell fair to let my
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: people going. Yeah, it was important that the Israelites were
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: no longer in slavery, right, But but Moses had to
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: become the kind of man who could stand in front
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: of a desk spot and say, let let God's people go,
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: or there's gonna be frogs and you're gonna hate it.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: Like that's that's really really.
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: Where we're at then, And and we see through Moses's
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: journey throughout Exodus that that he becomes the the person
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: who judges is reel. They come to him and and
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: and he has to, you know, deal with their disputes
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: and stuff. And then we we find that that that's
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: killing him. He's doing this all day long. And so
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: he's got to become the kind of man who can delegate.
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: Because Jethrow his his father in law's like, hey, you
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: keep doing this, you're not gonna make it like you
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: got to. You gotta fix your system here, and and
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: so he becomes that and and we see through Moses's
• 54:54
  Speaker 3: journey that yeah, the Promised Land is there, and that's
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: where he's headed. That's in your in your world, the
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: Promised Land is the event that funds the feeding of
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: single parent households with good quality produce in a nonprofit manner.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: That's so cool, right, that's that's big.
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: But but Moses has to become the man every day
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: that that can lead the people to the Promise Land.
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: And in the same way, it sounds like you're you're
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: on a similar journey, Holly, that.
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: That you have.
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: You have a big you have a big vision, and
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: it's a wonderful thing. It's going to require a lot
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: of help from a lot of people. It's going to
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: require a lot of grace, a lot of joy.
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: But the verse that comes to mind is I'm the vine.
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: You are the branches. If you remain joined to me
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: and I to you, you will bear a lot of fruit.
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: You can't do anything apart from me. And so as
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: long as you're you're connected in the vine, and as
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: long as as you continue to follow His will, no
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: matter how weird it sounds, or no matter how scary
• 55:51
  Speaker 3: it is. In fact, is it not true that some
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: of the scariest things you've ever faced are exactly the
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: thing you need to step into.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: Have you found that to be true in you're w.
• 56:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I did hear that. I wish it was
• 56:09
  Speaker 4: I wish it was easier and that. You know what
• 56:11
  Speaker 4: came to my mind is when you were talking about
• 56:14
  Speaker 4: vision for a second there it was I'm gonna see
• 56:19
  Speaker 4: I have my I write a lot. That's how I
• 56:22
  Speaker 4: let go of a lot of my emotions and how
• 56:26
  Speaker 4: I process things. And God has been giving me a
• 56:29
  Speaker 4: lot of like just images, you know, picture words and
• 56:32
  Speaker 4: stuff like that, and so he gave me one. It
• 56:37
  Speaker 4: is awful. I'm not I can't draw. I want you
• 56:41
  Speaker 4: to know that, but I'll try to show you. Let's see, Okay,
• 56:47
  Speaker 4: So there's a stick figure there, there's that's a light,
• 56:52
  Speaker 4: and that's hysteric and the rest is dark. Okay. So
• 56:57
  Speaker 4: God told me, you know, just through processing and stuff
• 57:00
  Speaker 4: that one step at a time, I'm going to trust
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: in Jesus to give to guide me up the staircase.
• 57:09
  Speaker 4: He's gonna let me stay on one step at a
• 57:12
  Speaker 4: time as long as I need to. He's gonna help
• 57:16
  Speaker 4: me get up with the strength of His Holy Spirit.
• 57:21
  Speaker 4: He shows me a glimpse of my purpose in him,
• 57:24
  Speaker 4: a light shining through the darkness, but not the whole
• 57:27
  Speaker 4: picture of the staircase. Otherwise I will raise to the
• 57:32
  Speaker 4: top or not and go the other way. You're like, Nope,
• 57:37
  Speaker 4: not doing that and not learn anything at all. I'm
• 57:43
  Speaker 4: gonna miss what he has to show me on each step,
• 57:45
  Speaker 4: even though it's really scary. And that is where growth happens.
• 57:51
  Speaker 4: Just like physically, I'm learning. You grow muscles because you
• 57:55
  Speaker 4: tear them. You tear them, you're strengthening your body. It
• 58:00
  Speaker 4: takes work to strengthen your body, takes work to lose
• 58:03
  Speaker 4: the weight, and it takes work to lose the weight
• 58:06
  Speaker 4: that's on your heart, that's on your heart. And even
• 58:09
  Speaker 4: when this, even when this, the the scale doesn't match
• 58:14
  Speaker 4: what you want it to. I can say this because
• 58:18
  Speaker 4: I've lived it and I live it now. Is a
• 58:23
  Speaker 4: head of brain furt But that's okay. That happens to
• 58:27
  Speaker 4: me alive. I got so much going on up in there,
• 58:29
  Speaker 4: but it's yeah, it's I'll go back to the staircase.
• 58:35
  Speaker 4: But uh yeah, so I.
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: Want to pause you. I have a buddy of mine.
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: He's such a cool guy. He was he was addicted
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: to methamphetamines for eight years of his life. It ruined everything.
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: He ended up in jail and all sorts of stuff.
• 58:47
  Speaker 3: But now he's like, he's like a hardcore evangelist. It's
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: amazing and he's very gifted. But every once in a
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: while he'll pause for a second. He'll go, dang it,
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: that's the drugs. I don't know what I just said.
• 59:01
  Speaker 3: It's so funny because he's so real about it. He's
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: like he's like, well, there was something that was switched
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: in there, but it's not anymore.
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 59:08
  Speaker 4: I've had those thoughts where I was like, Okay, I
• 59:11
  Speaker 4: wonder how much was damaged. But then I was like, okay,
• 59:14
  Speaker 4: but God could totally restore.
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: Right, and he has obviously.
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: Otherwise, you're having a great comra Oh my gosh, with
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: a big smile on your face. But I do want
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: to before we run out of time here, I do
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: want to invite thank you for sharing the image of
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: the staircase. It brought to mind Psalms one, nineteen one
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: oh five. That word is a lamp into my feet
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: and a light into my path. The idea that if
• 59:35
  Speaker 3: I'm walking through a dark woods and I have a lamp,
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: what can I see? Only the next step in front
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: of me. That's it, That's all I can see. I
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: can't see beyond that. I just have to keep making
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: that step. But I did want to invite if there's
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: anybody local to you listening, you have a workout at
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: the park, can you give us the details of how
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: to join you in the workout at the park.
• 59:55
  Speaker 4: Sure. Yeah. I'm on Revolution Wellness because I'm an independent
• 59:59
  Speaker 4: instructor through them. So you can go to Revelation Wellness
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 4: dot org and you can look up instructor or you
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 4: can even actually google it if you Google looking for
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 4: an instructor, you know, through Revelation Wellness when actually Washington,
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 4: then they can find me there and then I'll have it.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: We'll actually drop that link in the show notes below too,
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 3: So so if you can google that, great, But otherwise
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: you can also just click the link.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 4: Yes and yeah, and then I'll just be posting all
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 4: of my future classes there whether and you know what,
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 4: don't be afraid to come, because they're most likely it
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 4: will just be me being Phoebe in the park.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: No, no, I will.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: If you're afraid, you definitely need to come. That's that's
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 3: kind of the point this whole conversation. If you're afraid, great,
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 3: now get over here, like because because yeah, do it?
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: Just just just come hang out with Well.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: I don't want to call you Phoebe because the internet
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: is going to be like, she's not pheeby. Yes, that's
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: she's Holly. But come work out because because when you're
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 3: afraid of something, it's a decent indication that it's the
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: right thing to be up to.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: And God hasn't given you a spirit of fear.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: He's given us a spirit of courage, strength and a
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: sound mind that's in Timothy.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: And so when when you feel fear.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: It's not like you're not going to be afraid, it's
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: that you grow, you become something that's not afraid of
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: that thing anymore by facing it.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, for sure, yep, so yeah, yeah, right now
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 4: they can come every Saturday morning at eight o'clock. That's
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 4: where I'm going to be cool. I do have those
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 4: classes posted, but they could just show up at Eastmont
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 4: Park and I'll be there and then God put it
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 4: on my heart to do just to do two more
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 4: during the week. So I'm just going to keep adding
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 4: classes at different times, you know, because I know everybody
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 4: has they have a different different schedules, right, and so
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 4: not everyone's going to come to my eight o'clock class,
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 4: but that's okay. So yeah, so come, and I want
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 4: people to come. I want people to experience true joy,
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 4: lasting joy. I want people to literally live out and
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 4: embody joy so that they can live their lives and
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 4: not be stuck on the couch thinking when is life
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 4: gonna happen for me? Or I have to be a
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 4: certain size in order to live in my life. And
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 4: my purpose is only in my job. It's not, it's not.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 4: Your purpose is a child of God. First of all.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 4: If you're in Christ, you're a child of God. That
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 4: is it, period. And everything else is just a get to.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 4: Movement is a get to. And I'm learning that through
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 4: my fitness journey. Is there's people out there who don't
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 4: who don't get to move and who are in pain
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 4: like you were saying, and I want to do that.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 4: I want to I want to obey God's Word, and
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 4: I want to because he's my joy, because he's my joy,
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 4: because he gives me everything. Because I've been through it,
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 4: I've been through all of it. I know that there
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 4: is no joy in in just a relationship with someone.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 4: Relationships are good, but that's not everything. And so yeah,
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 4: I want I just want people to know that. I
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 4: want people to know that that that you're loved, that
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 4: you are complete, and everything you need is found in
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 4: the Word of God and through relationship with Jesus Christ,
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 4: and everything else is secondary.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 3: So yeah, so as we close here, I'd love to
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: pray over you and your endeavors.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: I also I pray over households to what's your husband's name?
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 4: His name is he's actually getting ready for work. His
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 4: name is Steve Tucker Cool.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: I'm going to pray over him too, then if you
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: wouldn't mind, That's how we're going to close down today.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: Is that all right?
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah? It sounds good.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 3: Father God, thank you so much for the opportunity to
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 3: sit down with Holly today. Thank you for the good
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 3: work that you've done in her life. And thank you
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: for Christ who washes over our sins when we make
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: him lord of our life. We believe in our heart
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: that he risen from the dead and we walk with
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: him daily. Got to pray that you'll bless Holly in
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: her journey to become a disciple who bears good fruit.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: I also pray Lord that you'll bless her in her
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 3: her workouts at the park. I pray that others see
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: it and want to be a part of it. I
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 3: also pray Lord that you'll bless her big vision to
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 3: have a five K that unites her community and that
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: puts resources in the hands of those who can make
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: a difference in the lives of the hungry. I pray
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 3: Lord that it's more than just feeding bellies, but it
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: also feeds souls, brings people together and glorifies you. Got
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: to pray your favor and blessing on her household, that
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: her and Steve have an awesome, awesome time being married
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: and seeking after you.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 2: We love you, Lord in Jesus' name.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 3: Amen, HOLLI thank you so much for joining me and
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: to our viewers and listeners guys, As then coach Alex
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: Van Houghton on the Faithful Fitness podcast, you guys know
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: what I'm going to say next.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 2: Until next time, train hard, but pray harder.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: Hey, if this episode helps you, jaret with someone who
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: needs to hear it, and don't forget to subscribe and
• 1:05:14
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• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: faithful fitness. Oh and my dad's new devotional is almost
• 1:05:22
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• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: then join our free community at Better Daily by clicking
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: on the links in the show notes below. We all
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: have a cross to carry, but it's lighter when we
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: do it together, so check out both links and the
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: show notes. Don't be a big well Bob, just do
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: it until next time. Don't forget, Train hard and pray
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: even harder.