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The Psychology of Psyche: The Four Trials That Prepare the Soul · Create Love Create Freedom

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Create Love, Create Freedom Podcast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast explores feminine psychology, embodiment, sovereignty, archetypes, and conscious womanhood in a post spectacle world.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Alison Fisher, and my work centers on internal authority and relational clarity across the seasons of a woman's life.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: As you listen to today's episode, there's nothing you need to force here.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: We're simply noticing what is already present in our lives and allowing clarity to unfold over time.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Today we are going to be discussing the psychology of psyche and the four trials that prepare the soul.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: For centuries, the story of Psyche and Eros has been told as one of the greatest love stories ever written, and certainly it is a love story, but I don't actually think love is the deepest subject of the myth.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: I think the soul is.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: In Greek the word psyche literally means soul, not personality, not ego, the soul itself.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And when I began returning to this myth over the years, I realized something I had completely missed when I first studied it.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: The four trials that Aphrodite gives Psyche aren't simply obstacles standing between her and Eros.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: They are an education.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: They're preparing her to become the kind of woman who can inhabit the life waiting for her on the other side.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's a profoundly different way of understanding difficulty.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: So often when we encounter obstacles, we instinctively ask why is this happening to me?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Or when will this finally be over?
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: We assume that life has somehow been interrupted, that if we could just get past this challenge, then our real life could begin.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: But what if that's backwards?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: What if the obstacle isn't delaying your life?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: What if it is your life?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Marcus Aurelius wrote The impediment to action advances action.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: What stands in the way becomes the way.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: I've thought about that quote many times, but it has taken on an entirely new meaning as I've reflected on Psy.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because the trials aren't there to prove that Psyche is worthy.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: They're there to cultivate capacities she doesn't yet possess discernment, patience, perspective, and depth.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Those capacities cannot simply be taught, they have to be lived.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps that's true for us as well.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe life isn't constantly testing our worth, maybe it's quietly developing our judgment.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Preparing us for responsibilities we cannot yet see, preparing us to love more wisely, to lead more wisely, to steward more wisely.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't think the goal of life is simply to become healed or even integrated.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's to become capable, capable of carrying whatever life eventually entrusts to our care.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps that's why the story of psyche continues to endure.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: It isn't simply the story of a woman finding love, it's the story of a soul being educated.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe if we're willing to look closely enough, it's our story too.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Let's begin.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: First we're going to look at the first trial learning to discern.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: The first task Aphrodite gives Psyche seems almost impossible.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: She leads her into a room filled with an enormous pile of seeds, wheat, barley, lentils, poppy seeds, millet, and beans.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thousands upon thousands of tiny seeds, all mixed together in one overwhelming heap.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Then she gives Psyche one instruction separate them by mourning.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: When I first heard this story years ago, I thought it was simply a task about patience.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now I don't think that's what it's about at all.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's about discernment.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because one of the very first capacities a mature soul must develop is the ability to distinguish, to separate, to recognize what belongs together and what does not.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: I actually think that this is one of the hardest psychological tasks we as women ever undertake, because when we're younger or when we're deeply overwhelmed, everything tends to blur together.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Our emotions become our reality, our fears become facts.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Someone disappoints us and suddenly we question our entire worth.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: One difficult conversation becomes everything is falling apart.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: One mistake becomes I'm a failure.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Everything becomes mixed together, just like psyche's pile of seeds.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think many of us spend years trying to organize our lives before we've learned how to distinguish what we're actually looking at.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's why discernment is so important.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Discernment isn't judgment in the sense of condemning something.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: It is in seeing clearly.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's the equ the quiet ability to ask what is actually true here.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Not what am I afraid is true, not what do I wish were true, but what is reality asking me to see?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's where wisdom begins, not with certainty, with clarity.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And clarity almost always requires slowing down.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's interesting that Psyche doesn't complete this trial through force.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't throw herself desperately into the pile.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't become frantic.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: The myth tells us that the ants come to help her.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: I've often wondered why.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Why ants?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Of all the creatures in Greek myth, why not an eagle or a lion?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's because ants do something extraordinary, one tiny piece at a time, patiently, consistently, without drama.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Discernment often develops the same way, not through one grand revelation, but through hundreds of small acts of paying attention.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: You begin noticing patterns.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: You notice relationship the relationship that consistently drains your energy.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: You notice the thought that always appears when you're afraid.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: You notice the environment when you've become your best self.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: You notice the people who tell you the truth instead of simply telling you what you want to hear.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Little by little the seeds begin separating.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's also why discernment is one of the greatest expressions of self respect.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you begin seeing clearly, you stop trying to make everything fit together.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: You stop forcing relationships that don't belong, you stop confusing chemistry with compatibility.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: You stop confusing busyness with purpose.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: You stop confusing attention with love.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: You stop confusing potential with character.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: You begin allowing reality to become your teacher.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps that's the first lesson every soul must learn.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Before we can become wise, before we can exercise good judgment, before we can steward anything well, we must first learn to see.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because every decision we make will only ever be as good as our ability to perceive reality accurately.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps that's why Psyche's first trial wasn't strength.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't courage, it wasn't endurance, it was discernment.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because wisdom doesn't begin with having all the answers.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: It begins with learning to separate using our intuition, what is true from what is merely mixed together in the confusion of our own minds.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: And once we learn to see clearly, every other capacity begins to grow from there.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Next we're going to look at the second trial, which is learning restraint.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: The second trial is one of my favorites because on the surface it appears to be about courage.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Aphrodite sends Psyche to gather golden fleece or wool from a flock of magnificent rams.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: The fleece is incredibly valuable.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: There's only one problem.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: The rams are wild, violent, aggressive.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: If Psyche walks into the field where they're all grazing, she'll almost certainly be trampled to death.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: So what does she do?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: At first she despairs.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: She can't imagine a way through.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Then, according to the myth, a humble reed growing beside the river begins to speak.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: The reed tells her something unexpected.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Don't fight the rams.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Wait.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: When at the when the heat of the day passes, when the rams retreat into the shade, walk quietly through the branches and the brambles where they've brushed against them.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: The golden wool will already be there.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Simply gather what has been left behind.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think this is one of the most psychologically profound moments in all of Greek mythology.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because the lesson isn't courage, it's restraint, it's timing, it's understanding that not everything valuable is obtained through force.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think we live in a culture that constantly celebrates action, move faster, work harder, push through, hustle, take control.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: There's certainly a place for decisive action in all of our lives.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: But there is also a tremendous amount of wisdom in knowing when not to act.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Marcus Aurelius reminds us to govern ourselves before we attempt to govern the world.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: The Stoics understood that one of the highest forms of strength is self command, the ability to pause before reacting, to think before speaking, to observe before intervening.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's exactly what psyche is learning here.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: She isn't learning passivity, she's learning discernment expressed through patience, because timing is part of wisdom.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: I've noticed this in my own life.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: There have been seasons where I thought I needed to solve everything immediately.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Answer every question, make every decision, resolve every conflict.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now I've learned that sometimes the wisest thing I can do is wait, not because I'm avoiding the decision, but because reality is still unfolding.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes more information is coming.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes emotions need to settle.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes another person's character needs time to reveal itself.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I need to become a wiser version of myself before making the decision.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Waiting isn't always hesitation.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's judgment.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's one of the capacities mature women quietly develop.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: They become comfortable with the space between impulse and action.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: They stop confusing urgency with importance.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything that demands your attention deserves your attention.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Not every opportunity should be pursued.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Not every argument should be answered.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Not every invitation should be accepted.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Not every door should be opened simply because it's unlocked.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: That is restraint.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: And restraint is not weakness.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: It is governed strength.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: There is another beautiful layer to this trial.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: Psyche still gathers the golden fleece.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't walk away empty handed.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: She simply gathers it differently than she expected.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: That strikes me as such a profound metaphor for life.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: How often do we believe that there is only one path to success?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Only one way to build a meaningful life, only one way to find love, only one way to lead, only one way to create.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Then life quietly teaches us that wisdom often takes a less dramatic path, not because it's easier, but because it's more aligned with reality.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps the greatest lesson of the second trial is this.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: The strongest woman in the room is not always the one who moves first.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes she's the one who knows exactly when to move.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because restraint isn't the absence of action.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's the wisdom to know that the right action at the right time almost always accomplishes more than frantic effort ever could.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps that's one of the soul's greatest initiations, learning that maturity isn't measured by how quickly we act, but rather by how wisely we choose our moment.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Next let's look at the third trial learning perspective.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: The third trial may be the one that speaks to me most deeply.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Aphrodite sends Psyche to retrieve water from the river sticks, not from the river itself, but from the place where it pours from towering cliffs.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: The ascent is impossible.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: The cliffs are sheer.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: The water rushes violently between jagged rocks.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Venomous serpents guard the source.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: No matter how determined Psyche is, she simply cannot reach it.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's exactly the point, because up until now, every trial invited Psyche to do something, separate the seeds, gather the fleece.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: This trial teaches her something entirely different.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: It teaches her the limits of effort.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: An eagle, sent by Zeus, flies to the cliffs, fills the vessel, and returns it to Psyche.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: She succeeds, but not because she tried harder, but because she accepted that this task required a perspective she did not possess.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think this is one of the hardest lessons for capable women to learn.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: When we're intelligent, hard working, disciplined, we begin to believe that every problem can be solved through more effort.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: If I just work harder, if I just think longer, if I just push through, I'll eventually figure it out.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that's true, but not always.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Some problems don't require more effort.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: They require a higher perspective.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think this is one of the reasons wisdom and judgment are so closely connected.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Wisdom isn't simply accumulating more information.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's learning to see from a different vantage point.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that means asking someone wiser than you.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it means waiting.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it means stepping back far enough to see patterns that are invisible when you're standing in the middle of them.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: Perspective changes everything.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever noticed how a decision that once felt impossible becomes almost obvious six months later?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: The facts didn't necessarily change.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Your perspective did.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: You could finally see what was hidden while you were emotionally inside the situation.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's why perspective is one of the greatest gifts maturity gives us.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Not certainty we can never be fully certain in life, but distance, the ability to step back before stepping in.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: To ask what am I not seeing?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's a question I wish more of us asked, especially when we're under pressure, because pressure has a way of narrowing our vision.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: We become so focused on solving the immediate problem that we stop seeing the larger reality surrounding it.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think good judgment often begins with humility, the humility to recognize that our first interpretation may not be the complete one, that our emotions, while valuable, are not the whole story, that our experience is limited, and that reality is almost always more complex than our first impression.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is also why I think the ego matters.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: The eagle sees from above, not because it's smarter than psyche, but because it occupies a different vantage point.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes invites us to borrow that perspective, to rise above the immediate emotion, to look at the situation from a wider horizon, to ask not only what do I want, but what sir serves what is true?
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: Or what decision will still seem wise five years from now?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Those questions lift us.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: They don't eliminate complexity, they don't eliminate difficulty, but they do help us see through it.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: I actually think this is one of the one of the capacities that distinguishes wisdom from intelligence.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Intelligence often solves problems.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: Wisdom chooses which problems are worth solving.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Intelligence asks can I?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Wisdom asks should I?
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's perspective.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps that's why psyche couldn't climb the cliff alone, because there are always some capacities we simply cannot develop by trying harder.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: We develop them by learning to widen our view, to remain humble enough to seek a higher perspective, and to recognize that sometimes the greatest act of strength isn't proving we can reach every summit ourselves.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's becoming wise enough to know when a different perspective is exactly what the soul needs.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because the soul isn't being trained merely to accomplish difficult tasks.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's being educated to see reality more clearly.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: And once we learn to see from a higher vantage point, our judgment begins to change along with it's look at the fourth and final trial learning depth.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: The fourth and final trial is perhaps the most familiar Aphrodite tells Psyche to descend into the underworld she is to ask Persephone for a small box containing a portion of her beauty product, her beauty potion and bring it back.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you've listened to my recent episodes on Persephone, you'll know I don't think the underworld is simply a place of death I think it's a place of depth.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's the place beneath appearances, the place where illusions fall away, the place where the soul encounters what is real.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's fascinating that Psyche's final trial takes her there.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: Not first last because I don't actually think we can descend wisely until we've developed the capacities that come before it.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: First we learn discernment then restraint then perspective only then are we prepared for depth that's important because depth without discernment becomes confusion.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Depth without restraint becomes obsession.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: Depth without perspective becomes despair the order matters Life prepares us gradually.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Psyche follows the instructions carefully she is told not to become distracted not to be persuaded by every voice she encounters not to take unnecessary detours simply complete the task and return I think that's another beautiful lesson.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Not every invitation deserves your attention not every suffering person is yours to rescue.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: Not every distraction is your responsibility one of the marks of maturity is learning that compassion and discernment are not opposites.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is remain faithful to the task we've been given.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: Then Psyche returns she has done everything required of her almost as she's making her way back one thought begins to grow perhaps I should open the box.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: Surely a little of Persephone's beauty ointment would help me It's such a profoundly human moment after everything she's learned after all the growth curiosity quietly becomes temptation not because curiosity is bad.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: Curiosity is one of the greatest gifts of being human but there is a difference between curiosity that seeks wisdom and the curiosity that is still trying to become someone else opens the box she doesn't find beauty or a beauty ointment she finds a death like sleep.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've always loved that image because it isn't punishment in the way we often imagine punishment it's revelation it reveals that one final attachment still remained the belief that she needed something outside herself to become enough.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that remarkable?
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: After all four trials after all her growth there is still one last lesson Holeness cannot be stolen.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: It cannot be borrowed it cannot be taken from someone else's beauty it has to be lived eventually Eros awakens her but I've never believed that's because psyche failed I think it's because the soul has finally learned what it could not have learned any other way not perfection humility.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: There is a beautiful difference Perfection imagines that maturity means never making another mistake.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: Humility understands that maturity means becoming teachable for the rest of your life to me that's what the underworld ultimately represents not a place where perfect people emerge a place where honest people emerge people who have stopped pretending people who have stopped performing people who have stopped searching for something outside themselves to complete what has already been going growing within and I think that's why this fourth trial comes at the end because depth isn't simply about surviving darkness it's about allowing the darkness to reveal what still needs to be surrendered not your worth not your identity your illusions the soul doesn't descend into the underworld to become someone else it descends so that everything false can quietly fall away and when it returns it doesn't return as a soul that has proven itself worthy.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: It returns as a soul that has become more capable of carrying wisdom, love, responsibility and stewardship.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps that's the final initiation not learning how to descend, learning how to return because the deepest souls are not the ones who have never entered the underworld they are the ones who have learned to bring its wisdom back into the light where it can become a blessing to everyone whose lives they touch next we're going to examine why the trials were never the destination When I step back and look at Psyche's journey I think there's one truth that quietly changes everything the trials were never the destination in fact I don't even think the reunion with Eros was the deepest destination The destination was the woman Psyche had become I think that's an important distinction because so many of our lives are spent looking toward the finish line when I finally heal when I finally find the relationship when I finally build the business when I finally get through this difficult season.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: We imagine life being somewhere beyond the obstacle but what if Marcus Aurelius was right the impediment to action advances action what stands in the way becomes the way I've been thinking about that quote a great deal lately not because it glorifies suffering I don't think the Stoics or the Greek myths ever asked us to seek suffering.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: But they did understand something profound some capacities can only be developed through resistance.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: Discernment cannot exist until there is confusion to sort through.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: Patience cannot exist until something refuses to happen on your timeline.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: Perspective cannot develop until you reach the limits of your own understanding.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: Depth cannot emerge until you've encountered seasons that ask more of you than you thought you could give.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: The obstacle isn't the interruption it's the education.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps that's why I no longer ask the question why is this happening to me?
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: Instead I've begun asking what capacity is this season inviting me to cultivate?
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: That is a completely different relationship with life.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't deny that the season can be painful.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't pretend that loss is easy.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't romanticize hardship.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: It simply recognizes that difficulty often arrives carrying an invitation not to prove ourselves but to develop ourselves I think it's that's one of the biggest shifts I've made over the past several years.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: I've become much less interested in proving my worth and much more interested in cultivating my capacity because worth is intrinsic capacity is developed.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: Life isn't asking us to earn our value it's asking us to become increasingly capable of carrying what has been entrusted to us.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's a relationship maybe it's a family maybe it's a business or a community maybe it's simply our own lives.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: The question isn't am I worthy?
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: The question is who am I becoming and perhaps more importantly what am I becoming capable of stewarding?
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: To me that's the deeper meaning of psyche's foretrials they were never about earning love they were about becoming the kind of soul the kind of woman that could carry love wisely and perhaps every meaningful challenge we encounter is quietly asking us the very same thing lastly we're going to examine how initiation becomes stewardship.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of the greatest misunderstandings we have about growth is believing that initiation is the destination it isn't.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: Initiation is preparation The four trials don't exist so psyche can spend the rest of her life saying look at what I survived they exist so she be so she can become the kind of woman who lives differently because of what she learned.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: That, to me, is the difference between transformation and storytelling one asks what happened to me?
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: The other asks how has this changed the way I move through the world?
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the question every initiation eventually asks of us not whether we survived it, but whether it enlarged us, whether it made us wiser, kinder, more discerning, more capable, more trustworthy because if every difficult season simply becomes another story we tell about ourselves, then we've missed the deepest invitation The invitation was never simply to endure it was to become I actually think that this is where all of the myths we've been exploring begin to converge.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_00: Persephone doesn't remain in the underworld she learns to move between the worlds.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: Marcus Aurelius doesn't teach us to avoid obstacles he teaches us that they become part of the path.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: Solomon doesn't ask God for wealth or power he asks for wisdom not because wisdom is impressive but because wisdom is what allows us to steward everything else well and psyche psyche doesn't simply compete or complete the four tasks impossible tasks.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: She develops four enduring capacities discernment restraint perspective and depth those aren't just lessons for one season their capacities shall carry into every season that follows I wonder if that's what maturity actually is not collecting experiences not accumulating accomplishments but allowing every meaningful experience to become part of your character because character is portable you carry it into every relationship every conversation every decision every responsibility every opportunity that's why I believe stewardship always follows initiation life doesn't simply prepare us for the next challenge it prepares us for the next responsibility as our capacity grows our stewardship expands.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps first we're entrusted with caring for ourselves then a friendship, a family a team a business a community an idea a body of work not because those things make us more valuable, but because we've become more capable of caring for them well.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's one of the most hopeful ways to understand life not as a series of tests designed to measure our worth, but as a lifelong education of the soul each season quietly asks what capacity are you ready to cultivate next?
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because perhaps that's what all true initiation has always been preparing us for not simply to become stronger, not simply to become wiser but becoming wisdom but becoming women whose wisdom can be trusted women who exercise good judgment women who create more order than chaos more peace than fear more beauty than noise women who leave people, places and institutions healthier than they found them.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_00: To me that's stewardship and perhaps that's the true purpose of every initiation not that we emerge saying I made it through but that one day almost without realizing it we look at the life we've built the people we've loved the work we've created and recognize that every trial quietly prepared us to care for them well.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_00: As we conclude today's episode I want to discuss how every trial is preparing you.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think that this is perhaps why I return to the story of psyche again and again not because it promises a life without difficulty but because it reminds me that difficulty is not the opposite of growth sometimes it is growth.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_00: When I was younger I thought the purpose of every difficult season was to get through it, to survive it, to finally arrive at a place where life would become easier.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now I don't think that's the invitation at all.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think the invitation is much quieter, much deeper.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_00: Every season is asking something of us not can you endure this but who are you becoming because of this?
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: That question has changed the way I understand my own life when something is difficult I still feel disappointed I still feel grief I still feel uncertainty quite often in fact.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: None of that disappears but underneath those emotions another question has begun to emerge What capacity is this season inviting me to cultivate?
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps it's discernment perhaps it's patience perhaps it's courage perhaps it's humility perhaps it's learning to ask for help perhaps it's learning to let go.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is, I no longer believe that life's greatest challenges are interruptions I think they're invitations.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_00: Not invitations to suffer but invitations to become because worth is never what is being tested.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_00: Worth is simply is something you already possess simply by being human.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_00: Capacity however capacity is cultivated judgment is cultivated wisdom is cultivated character is cultivated and those things are almost always shaped through experience.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's why psyche story has endured for thousands of years.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: It reminds us that the soul isn't educated through information alone it's educated through life through seasons that stretch us through responsibilities that humble us through obstacles that ask us to become someone we would not have become under easier circumstances.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps that's why the four trials don't end with Psyche proving herself they end with Psyche becoming herself not the woman she was before the woman she has been quietly growing into all along maybe that's the invitation for all of us to stop asking whether life is delaying us and begin asking how it is preparing us because perhaps every meaningful trial is doing something we cannot yet see, quietly enlarging our capacity, deepening our judgment, strengthening our character, preparing us not simply for the next challenge, but for the next responsibility and perhaps one day we'll look back over the difficult seasons that once felt so impossible and realize they were never standing in the way of our lives.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_00: They were patiently faithfully preparing our souls for them thank you so much for being here let whatever was useful settle in its own time clarity I have found tends to unfold naturally when we give it space until next time stay rooted stay sovereign and trust your own becoming