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When the Narcissist "Fake Discards" you · The Mental Healness Podcast

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What is going on, beautiful people?
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Today we're talking about the narcissist and their fake
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discard when they fake break up with you, when they they pump
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fake a break up with you. Like what are they trying to
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accomplish there when they do that?
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If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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Welcome back y'all, welcome back.
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Y'all see that I'm aware what's going on folks.
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New Year knew me knew you knew everything y'all 2025.
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I started off with a bang. I know yesterday y'all watch my
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yesterday's video about no contact.
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I was on one, wasn't I was on that fire was I was on the heat.
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Well, today we're turning up a little bit.
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We turn, we're turning up the Fahrenheit a little bit more or,
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or, or the Celsius if y'all are not in America, right before we
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hop into today's episode, y'all make sure you check out my kids
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book. Remember, it's not your fault.
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This is a book to have. It's a conversation starter with
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your kids about toxic relationship dynamics, not
1:18
taking accountable, not taking responsibility for their parents
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actions against them. You know what I mean?
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Kids can't advocate for themselves.
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But yeah, y'all narcissist the fake discard.
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I actually got this comment in my comment section the other
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day. I told you I read the comments.
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Y'all leave a comment or if you're my, if you're my mental
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health lers support group, you know, I read the comments and I
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go, I take suggestions every single day.
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Somebody said I haven't seen a disc video about the fake
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discard. I've done 1 before, but let's
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let's re up it. Let's re up this year.
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We're about re upping, reforming and transform transformation,
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right? So narcissist will absolutely
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fake break up with you. Some of them that y'all, and
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they know a lot of y'all might have actually experienced this,
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right? What they will pump fake you.
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It's like pump faking get you in the air.
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Like on basketball court, they pump fake you, they get you in
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the air. A quarterback a pump fake you to
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get you in the air. You know what I'm saying?
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Volleyball, they, they fake spike it to get you in the air.
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They fake it because they want you to.
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They want to move you in some way, shape or form that's
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beneficial to them. That's what narcissistic people
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want to do. They want to move you in a way
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that's beneficial to them, in a way that's beneficial to them.
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That's all they want to do. Y'all narcissist.
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And people like if they, they'll argue with you, they'll fuss
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with you, they'll fight with you because they want to know that
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you care. Well, Lee, I think break up too.
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Does that make me a narcissist? It doesn't make you a
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narcissist, but there is that manipulation right there, y'all.
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The fake breakup doesn't necessarily make you a
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narcissist, but it does. It brings up the question,
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what's going on here? What are you trying to achieve,
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right? You want to know that you matter
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as well, right? You want to know that you, you
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want to know that your person cares about you as well, right?
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What's the intent behind it? The deeper intent.
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Narcissistic people fake discard you as a form of torture.
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They want to play with your emotions.
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They want to mess with you. They want to cause you pain and
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struggle and strife. They want to see you in a in a
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highly emotional state because they want to know that they're
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in control of you. They want to know that no matter
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what they do, no matter what they say, no matter how they
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operate, that they are still in some way, shape or form in
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control of you. They have some type of access to
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you to have some some type of power over you.
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That's why they fake discard you, fake this.
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That's why they fake break up with you.
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They'll go through the whole motion to y'all.
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They'll pack their whole, they'll pack their bags up and
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hope while you boohoo crying, begging them not to leave.
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And they'll still leave and the whole time planning on coming
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back tomorrow, plan on coming back tonight.
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They'll do this type of stuff because they want to hurt you.
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They want to see you in pain. Some of them are, yeah, let's be
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real, Second round of the year 2 for two.
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Some narcissistic people what absolutely want to see you
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hurting. They want to see you in pain.
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There's a sadistic nature to some of them.
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They get pleasure in your pain. They'd like to see you hurt.
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They like to see you struggling. They'd like to see you crying
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and begging and pleading. They like it.
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They love it. They want some more of it.
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They enjoy the look apparel on your face when you're begging
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and pleading them not to leave when you're they, they enjoy
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seeing your trauma bonded to them.
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And you're crying and you're pleading with them not to leave
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you to stay, to please forgive you for something you don't even
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know what you did. Please tell me what I did wrong
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so you don't leave me. Please, please, please, you
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know. And they were just looking at
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you, staring at you, like, you know, you should know what you
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did wrong. You should, absolutely.
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And if you love me, you wouldn't know exactly what you did wrong
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to me, right? Right.
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They'll do that. And they know the whole time
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that you haven't done anything realistically wrong with them to
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justify this crazy ass stuff that they're doing to you right
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now. They know this, y'all, and they
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still do it anyway. We'll leave that because they
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don't care. Did I say that?
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Did I say it Because they don't care?
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Why y'all be putting words in my mouth?
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Why y'all trying to manipulate me?
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Y'all trying to manipulate me? No, you're not saying that they
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don't care. Is it possible that some of them
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don't care? Yeah, it's absolutely possible,
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Y'all, that some of them do not care about the pain that you're
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experiencing, how you feel, what you're going through, any of
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that like that. Y'all unplugging my phone and my
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phone about to die. There's some of them.
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They absolutely do not care. But the other part of them,
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there's some narcissists, the people that do care, but not to
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the point where you not to the point where you should stay and
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try to make it work with them. They care about how it affects
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them. They care about what's, what's
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important to a narcissist is themselves.
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That the most important thing to a narcissist is themselves and
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how they're viewed, their reputation, their, their image,
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their all of that stuff right there, their success that
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finances, this type of stuff right there.
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You come secondary or tertiary, you're not first or second.
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You might, you might come third or fourth.
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You see what I'm saying? Narcissistic people care more
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about themselves than they care about you, and that's being
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realistic y'all. You know like I said, some of
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them absolutely love to see you in pain.
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They love to see you so they fake break up but you to hurt
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you on purpose. That's horrible.
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They'll fake break up with you to punish you for holding them
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accountable. What kind of crazy ass shit is
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that right there y'all? When they fake break up with you
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because you decided to hold them accountable, what kind of crazy
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ass shit is that? They literally look at you in
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your face and try to hold and be angry at you because you decided
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to hold them accountable for something that they have
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actually done. They actually have done it.
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They've actually did it and they're trying to hold you
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accountable for it. Y'all, how ridiculously crazy is
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that? They're trying to hold you
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accountable for some stuff that they have actually done.
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They're trying to hold you accountable because you held
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them accountable for something that they did to you.
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You caught them cheating. Now they're going to fake break
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up with you so they can play the victim.
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You caught them in a lie. Now they're going to fake break
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up with you to hurt your feelings because now they want
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to play the victim. They want to shift the power.
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That's why they fake discard you.
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That's why they fake break up with you because they want to
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shift the power from them, from you to themselves.
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That's what they want to do. You see what I'm saying?
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That's literally what they want to do.
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They want to shift the power from you to them.
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They want the power, they want all the power.
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They want the control. They want it all.
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They give it to me. It's like give me, give me, give
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me. They want you to give it to them
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no matter what they crave it, they're out for it.
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So for you as a person who's dealing with this manipulative,
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abusive ass person, this is something that you have to
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understand as well. You have to empower yourself to
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understand like they're out to serve themselves.
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I know it hurts your feelings when I say this like they're out
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to serve themselves. You like believe what about me?
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It's y'all they are going to choose themselves first believe
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if they love, if if they, if I'm the love of their life and
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somebody that they they they that they're supposed to cherish
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and love. Why don't they put my needs for
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because they love themselves more.
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So many people fall. This is what this is what I
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think the error that so many people make you think the
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narcissist think like you, right?
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So you try to come from your own personal perspective on why they
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do the things that they do and you can't understand it because
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you wouldn't do it. You wouldn't behave this way.
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So it doesn't make sense to you. Take away you take you out of
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the equation. I wouldn't do this.
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So why would they? Because you are you are you
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built different, different pieces.
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You know, you might have more pieces.
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They might be missing a piece. They might be missing the
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empathy piece, right? They might be missing the
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compassion piece. They're missing something, you
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know what I mean? Something is missing, you know,
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but it's like this is where it comes to falls into y'all to
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have to understand this is the mentality of an abuser.
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Y'all, they're going to choose them.
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They're going to pick themselves 100 out of 100% of the time.
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You mean if they're choosing you, it's because they, if
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they're choosing you or picking you, it's because they see some
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type of benefit in it for themselves.
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They're they're, if they are being there for you, it's
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because they see some type of benefit in it within it for
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themselves. That's a reality right there.
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Y'all, that really is a reality of how things go, of how people
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operate. And they were trying to tell
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people y'all was like, hey, look, this is how narcissists
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are going to be how they want to be.
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This is how they're going to operate.
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This is what they're going to do.
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You know, because this is abusive mindset and it doesn't
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make sense to y'all because you're not an abuser.
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You're your mind doesn't work the same way.
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You don't come from a place of being abusive and manipulative.
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You come, come a place you trying to understand and heal
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and grow. They're being abusive, they're
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being manipulative, they're doing this, they're doing that,
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right? This is what you have to do,
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y'all? This is like narcissistic people
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are out to serve themselves. So they will fake breakup with
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you to try to control you and manipulate you, right?
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Another time, I'm going to be real with you right here too.
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Sometimes they fake breakup with you and it feels real, right?
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They'll fake breakup with you to actually go out here and cheat
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on your ass. They'll cause a ruckus, they'll
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cause an argument. They'll leave.
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They'll turn something small into something big, right?
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Yeah, they'll turn something extremely small.
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You're like why the hell are we? And you'll be like, why the hell
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are we arguing about this? This is a this argument doesn't
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make sense. Why the hell are we arguing
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about this? You mean why the hell are we
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arguing about this? And then y'all break up and then
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guess what happens? We all break up and then they
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leave your ass, then they leave you and they go out here and
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cheat on you. That's why because they go out
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here to cheat on you. They break up with you to cheat
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on you. They break up with you in order
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to go out here and do what they want to do.
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This is why they do what they want to do.
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This is why they're doing it because they want to give
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themselves an excuse to like go out here and cheat on you.
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And yes, they fake broke up with you as a fake.
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They knew that they knew that they knew that they were coming
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back, but now they have the excuse to go out here and cheat
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and do what they want to do and just tell you, hey, we were
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broken up. We were arguing and you like you
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like we we we we went arguing. Or was it you?
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Did you concoct this weird ass argument out of nowhere?
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Did you create this argument out of nowhere?
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And now we're arguing and now you are here and cheat any other
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if it's for you as an impact or codependent or just a human
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being, right? You're like, well, we were
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broken up. It makes sense to you, right?
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Well, we did break up. So maybe they're right.
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Maybe maybe they they, maybe they they do have a point there
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that we weren't together. So it would make sense that you
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know, I, I get it now, yes, you, I understand that you get it,
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but like it's come up from a place of manipulation.
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You're not a maliciously, let me say this right here.
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You're not a maliciously manipulative person, right?
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You're not. But the narcissistic person is.
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They are intentionally manipulative.
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They are intentionally obtuse. They're they're being dangerous
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on purpose. This is the mindset of a
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narcissist. They want to be intentionally
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manipulative. They want to be dangerous.
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They want to be toxic ass people.
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They yeah, this is what they want.
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This is what they crave. This is what they desire.
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And so many people give it to them because you don't know.
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Yeah, Yeah. Let's be real.
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You don't. You might not know any better,
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right? And this is not me trying to say
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like, you don't know what the hell.
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You might not know any better because you're a human being.
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Like you're not used to be. You're not used to dealing with
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somebody that's being manipulative like this.
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You're like, what the hell is going on here?
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I'm not used to this. I'm not accustomed to this
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manipulation. I'm not accustomed to this
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abuse. I'm not accustomed to any of
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this. What the hell is going on?
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You can view you just as confused.
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You're like, I don't you like, how the hell do we get here?
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Right? And so many people fall into the
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category. So don't beat yourself up y'all.
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Because some of them will absolutely fake break up with
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you on purpose to go out here and cheat and do what the hell
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they want to do, lie, be more manipulative and just do that
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type of stuff right there. Some of them are giving
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themselves an excuse to treat you badly.
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Like, some of them will absolutely break it with you on
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purpose to give themselves the future excuse to treat you
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badly. Well, I did this because you did
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this. I said this because you said
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that I was doing this. You were doing that rabble
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rabble rabble, blah, blah, blah. Boo Boo, Boo, BBB.
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They'll do and say a lot of crazy ass stuff.
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Y'all to keep you on the hook to make, like just to do the.
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Yeah, It's it's it's a it's really is.
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You know them, they're mind numbing to deal with an abuser
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and to deal with somebody like that there who doesn't have your
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best interests at heart, even though you're putting them
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first. You've done everything
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impossible to help them out, to do something for them, to be
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there for them, and they're still not looking out for you.
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You know, it's draining it completely draining.
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It makes you feel like you're wasting a lot of time and for
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energy in your own life trying to be there for this person when
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they just keep fake breaking up. One of these times, y'all, when
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they fake break up with you and they pack their bags and leave,
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you probably don't need to let the ass back in the house.
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If, if their name is not on a lease, if it's your house and
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they just keep leaving, they come back, keep leaving, They
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come back. One time they, they stinking
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asses leave. The locks need to be changed and
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they can't bring their punk asses back into your fucking
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house because sooner or later you're going to have to wake up.
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Sooner or later you're going to have to be the one to end it or
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they're going to keep doing this fake breakup stuff to hold you
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accountable. And they could they do it to get
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you to shut the hell up. They condition you to not bring
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stuff up or they're going to leave, right?
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They're going to break up. They're going to leave again.
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They're going to walk out the door.
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Hell no, hell no, not in 2025. We're not we, we thrive in 25,
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thrive in 25. Anyway, y'all let's get it.
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Make sure you hit that subscribe button, y'all.
14:35
We creeping up closer to 500 K, but it's just slowing down like
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the page growth is slowing down. Check out my support groups,
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check out my courses, mental illness.net and it's always
14:43
y'all mental illness is up. Thank you so much for making it
14:47
to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you
14:49
have no idea. If you haven't already, make
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sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel helps reach more
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people and click on the screen to watch another video or to
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browse to another playlist. There's also a link on the
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screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
15:01
you heal and understand what you've been through.
15:03
Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
15:05
video. Peace.