Latest / Heavyweight / Zoe, PJ, and Chanel

Transcript

Zoe, PJ, and Chanel · Heavyweight

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Last June, Heavyweight performed a sold out show in the
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Borough of Churches, Brooklyn, New York. The show was part
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: of Gimletfest, a two day podcasting festival that rivaled Woodstock
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: ninety four in terms of historic and cultural significance. If
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: you came to that show, good for you, And if not, well,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: you'll have to live with that fact for the rest
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: of your life. So please sit back, wallow in that
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: regret and try to enjoy this slightly edited version of
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Heavyweight Live.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I know, Jackie, did you hear me out fam in
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: the car? Yeah, it sounds like you're on a speakerphone.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Oh that's really good. So you know I have a podcast.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Do you remember the name of it?
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: John, Yes, if it's going to be okay.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: What is the name of the show?
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: You know what? Next question?
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, you know that the name of the show is Heavyweight, right?
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Does that ring a bell?
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: It rings an annoying bell?
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: What does an annoying bell sound like?
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: You just rang it?
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Okay? So I am doing a live show.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: I don't think the visual dimension as much. They can
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: just look at a photograph of you and it's probably
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: do the same thing. Yeah, you know I certainly hope
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: you have a little bit of something to drink before.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: You tend to do much better in your live performances
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: if you've had a little, a little something. We all
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: know that about you.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: A little hoot yeah, yeah, I suppose take the edge off. Yeah,
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: little hooch is a part of the show business tradition,
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: back to the days of being crosbys. Yes, of course
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: they do. Why is that so funny? I am in
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: show business. I mean it's a statement of fact. I
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I host a podcast.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: I just want to know. Is that considered show businesses?
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: And if so?
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: Why?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: Yea, I guess it's a show.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: It's a show and people are entertained by it. So
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I'm in show business. Nothing.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: I guess you are in show business. It's cute, but
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: it's very cute, all.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Right, John Okay, youtobe, bye bye.
• 3:13
  Speaker 6: Plays and gentlemen.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Got the CEO and Gimblet Media founder Alex Bloomberg is
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: trotting in place beside my workstation. How do you like apples?
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: He asks? I don't care for apples, I say, when bruised,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: they remind me of my mortality. When served cold, they
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: tend to hurt my teeth. So no, Alex, I do
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: not like apples, though I do like apple sauce. Well,
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: how do you like these apples? He asks, without looking
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: away from my computer screen. I ask if these apples
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: are sauced apples. Mister Bloomberg thrusts a letter pressed handbill
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: in front of my face. It smells like the clone
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: department of a European duty free. The handbill reads gimlet
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: fest Fest, it seems is short for festival. Are we
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: disarming a bomb? While falling from a rooftop? Alex, is
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: your time so precious that you can't afford two lousy
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: extra syllables? Of course? I say none of this out loud.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: The last thing I need is to be fired from
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: podcasting and forced to recite my monologues into a CBE
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: radio while seated on the lap of some trucker named
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Jean Francois. Mister Bloomberg checks his fitbit, pumps his fist thrice,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: and stops running. Though his brow is virtually sweatless, he
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: wipes it with a silken kerchief and crumples the handbill
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: into my chest. Then he asks his real question, what
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: are you going to do for gimlet Fest? I don't
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: like public speaking. I say, the very thought of a
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: live event was enough to make the borsht i'd eaten
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: for lunch perform a slow, spiteful kazatskay in my kishka's.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Mister Bloomberg laughs, You're hilarious, he says, slapping my back
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: hard enough to make my fillings rattle, and the days
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: Borshed enter its final curtain call. For the next several months,
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: I do nothing but worry. By day, I hide out
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: shivering in mister Bloomberg's executive bathroom. By night, I sit
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: at the kitchen table in darkness, eating unsalted peanuts and
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: drinking bourbon. And so the days run away like wild
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: horses at a farm wedding and upstate. I make a
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: mental note to tweet that, and all the while I
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: can do nothing else but think of gimlet Fest. What
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: will I wear to? What number will I set my
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: beer trimmer?
• 6:00
  Speaker 7: To bed?
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: The wife cries, it's four.
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: In the morning.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: When sleep does come, it brings ominous dreams. In one,
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: I hop out of a papier mache cake onto a cool,
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: dark stage. I am holding a ukulele. Hello, I say,
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: into the blackness, I'm certain there is an audience out
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: there somewhere judging me. In the silence, I hear a cough,
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: then a Werther's Original slowly being unwrapped. A face emerges
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: from the darkness. It is ABC television personality Zach Brath.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: He informs me. I've been canceled. I awaken a cold sweat,
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: surrounded by Werther's original wrappers, and for your consideration, DVD
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: is of alex Ink. A week before showtime, I feel
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: my bowels quake. Had my nightly prayer for diverticulitis been answered,
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Dear God, I in tone, please give me diverticulitis so
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: I don't have to do gimlet Fest. But no such luck.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: It is only a visit from my old friend gas.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: Mere.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Days before the event, mister Bloomberg corners me in the
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Gimlet Cat Cafe, the one on the second floor. How's
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: that live show coming, he demands, superby croak stoically, my
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: voice cracking in three different places. Good good, he says,
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: taking a long drag of avocado flavored vape. What's the
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: run of the show, he asks, I don't know, I say,
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: ending the charade, I have nothing planned. Mister Bloomberg twitches
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: violently causing the two task monkeys, carrying his e hook
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: at a lurch from side to side. What have you
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: been doing with your time? He asks? The former Planet
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Money spokesmodel was still capable of a hard hitting question.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: What had I been doing with my time? Tweeting? I
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: say about the festival. Let's take this to the kitchen,
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: hammocks mister Bloomberg commands dutifully. I trail behind him, trying
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: not to spill his chocolate mint julip while swinging on
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: his stomach. Mister Bloomberg explains how Gimletfest is about influencing.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: It's about inspiring positive change, he says, while sipping from
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: a very long straw. Oh, indubitably, I squeal, let's force
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: feed positivity down the throats of non Matte believers everywhere.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Of course, I only squeal this to myself. The last
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: thing I need is to be sent back to Canada
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: to do the overnight weather report from Moose Factory, Ontario.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: I've been thinking a lot about engaging our brand loyalists,
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Alex continues, but I'm barely listening. The gentle rocking of
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: the hammock has sent me into a reverie. When I awake.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: I'm alone. The office is dark but for the muted
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: headlamps of the task monkeys polishing mister Bloomberg's vate pen
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: collection and preparation for the day ahead. Come to bed.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: The wife texts, it's four a m. Of course, I
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: want to help mister Bloomberg. I've been listening to him
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: radio DJ on This American Life since I was but
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: a mopheaded child strapped into the back seat of Mammon's
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: minivan on the way to curling practice. Leaving the office,
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: I pass by his treadmill desk. He is still here,
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: slowly trotting along, working hard. I ask, but there is
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: no answer. After several minutes, I realize that he has
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: fallen into a deep sleep. Only the support of his
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: loyal task monkeys is keeping him upright. Good night, Podcast, Prince,
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: I whisper, before wandering out into the night. The night
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: before Gimbletfest is one of the worst of my life.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: How's everybody doing tonight? I practice over and over into
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: my wife's hair brush while staring into the bathroom mirror.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: How is everybody doing tonight? How's everybody doing tonight?
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: Go to bed?
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: The wife cries, it's four in the morning, but I can't.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I know that if I can just nail my opening line,
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: everything else will fall into place. The audience will applaud,
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: mister Bloomberg, will sign my paycheck, and my infant son
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: will start calling me dada instead of haha. And so
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: I practice, how's everybody doing tonight? How is everybody doing tonight?
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: And then it comes to me, how's everybody doing this evening?
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: So how's everybody doing this evening?
• 11:24
  Speaker 6: Hello? Jonathan Goldstein?
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Uh, that's that's my human beat boxer, Devin, And this
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: is my co host and producer, Khalila Holt.
• 11:36
  Speaker 8: Hello.
• 11:41
  Speaker 6: Do you want to tell these people what we're gonna do?
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Uh, so tonight the theme of this evening is
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: Killed Killed Stories, and so we were gonna play for
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: you some of the stories or clips of the stories
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: that didn't make it onto the air. And also we're
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: gonna have some guests, some special guests, and uh, they're
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: going to be human beatboxed onto the stage.
• 12:10
  Speaker 6: Are you suggesting that I should be human being?
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Would you like to be human beatboxed onto the stage?
• 12:17
  Speaker 6: Not particularly, but I will.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: I think you're gonna like it more than you anticipate
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: it's you're gonna find it very enlivening. I did.
• 12:24
  Speaker 6: Do we call it human beat boxing or do we
• 12:26
  Speaker 6: just call it beatboxing?
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: He's human and he's beatboxing. So mm hmmm, i'd you
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: like that.
• 13:09
  Speaker 6: It's okay.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: Makes me so happy, Devin, come out here. I'm sorry.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: I want to tell you. I want to thank you again.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: I want to tell you a story about how my
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: interest in human beatboxing came about. Are you familiar with
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: the Fat Boys? I am, Yeah, so I really like
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: the Fat Boys as a child, and I would try
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: to human beat box myself and I wasn't good at it,
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: and I started to feel chest pains and my parents
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: had to take me to the Jewish general er in Montreal,
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: and the doctor in the er told me that I
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: had given myself these chest pains from the beatboxing that
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: I was giving. Is that is that a peril of it?
• 13:52
  Speaker 9: It can happen, Yeah, definitely seems to have happened.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I had to stop doing it. Yeah.
• 13:59
  Speaker 9: Well, I think, uh, I think anybody can can beat box.
• 14:03
  Speaker 9: So I think if you push through the pain, uh one, yeah,
• 14:06
  Speaker 9: one day you could get there.
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: Can we hear? Just like a little something?
• 14:08
  Speaker 9: Yeah, can we hear just a tiny little here, I'll
• 14:11
  Speaker 9: set you up.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: Sure, Sure, I know you're patronizing me, but I still
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: like it.
• 14:24
  Speaker 7: Ok, thank you.
• 14:25
  Speaker 6: Again, leaving the stage.
• 14:26
  Speaker 10: Now, I think it's time to introduce our first special guests.
• 14:35
  Speaker 10: You may Introd know her from the Social Security number
• 14:38
  Speaker 10: eight two three six three eight two nine seven, or
• 14:43
  Speaker 10: from her work on Planet Money and This American Life,
• 14:46
  Speaker 10: Ladies and Gentlemen.
• 14:47
  Speaker 6: Zoe Chase.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: Devin brings Zoe to the stage. Zoe, how was that?
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Why have you ever been human being boxed onto a stage?
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: It's pretty nice. You get used to it. Oh yeah,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: you can't live without it, event Hi Hi, So okay,
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: so we're going to talk about killed stories, and at
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: your prompting, we're going to talk about a killed story
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: of mine. And I know that it made an impact
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: on a young Zoe Chase. And this is a story
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: that almost almost got killed when I was working as
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: a producer at This American Life many many years ago.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: And during that time, there were so many of my
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: stories that were getting killed all the time. But this,
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: this is one that somehow evaded death barely. And yeah,
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: and you wanted to talk about it.
• 16:04
  Speaker 11: Yeah, No, this story is the reason that I started
• 16:06
  Speaker 11: working in radio.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: You're talking about the Little Mermaid story, right, who.
• 16:11
  Speaker 11: You guys know that story?
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So this is a story. I would call my
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: friend Josh up on the phone just because they thought
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: he was very funny, and I was always looking for
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: a way to get him on this American life. And
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: because this American life is all about storytelling. IRA would
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: always say, you have to your friend Josh has to
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: have a story. And he'd tell me stories and they
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: would go nowhere, they'd be stupid, and then this was
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: one of those stories that he told me. But it
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: just happened actually turn into something, you know. I think
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: we just happened to have a clip.
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: There was this guy named Fred okay, and he got
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: this message, well, his mother left him in a message
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: on his answering machine okay, and he forwarded it to
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: I don't know, maybe one or more of his friends,
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: and they forwarded this message across campus to everyone. Okay.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: So you want to hear the message, m M all right.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: So he prefaced it by saying, you have it, you
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: the message.
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: I do not have the message. I have the message
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: in my head. I'm telling you a story.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: So the message.
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: He prefaced it by by some kind of sad little
• 17:18
  Speaker 5: lead in in a little voice. He was like, I
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: think you'd appreciate hearing this message from my mother. Okay,
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: and then the message played. This was the entirety of
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: the message. And I'm gonna do the voice for you
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: as best I can.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: You ready, yeah?
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: All right? Oh?
• 17:31
  Speaker 5: Sorry, more background. He apparently he had had a heart.
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: He was not a hit with the ladies. Fred, Okay,
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: that's this is what I was let to understand. Okay,
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: I'm not sure if this is true or not. Okay,
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: but he had managed to score a date to go
• 17:44
  Speaker 5: see The Little Mermaid of All movies.
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: Okay, The Little Mermaid?
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: Okay, Yeah, So this is the message his own mother, okay,
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: his blood relation leaves for him.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I quote ahem, you and the Little Mermaid
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: can go go yourselves. The books you wanted are not here.
• 18:02
  Speaker 6: They must be in La Joya.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna wait up all night view.
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: Goodbye. That's the entirety of it.
• 18:07
  Speaker 6: All right.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a message that his mother left them.
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: That's correct.
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: You catch that part. You and the Little Mermaid can
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: both go yourselves. I love you, son, Okay, that's gold.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: So that yeah, that's how it starts.
• 18:28
  Speaker 12: It's so the reason why was because I wasn't in
• 18:32
  Speaker 12: radio and I was just living in Philadelphia and I
• 18:35
  Speaker 12: was very lonely and I heard this story.
• 18:39
  Speaker 11: Somebody said like listen to these.
• 18:41
  Speaker 12: Things, these streaming m P three's whatever, and so I
• 18:46
  Speaker 12: listened to this and I was like, that's it. Like
• 18:50
  Speaker 12: you can just talk to your friends about being in
• 18:54
  Speaker 12: college and it's so funny and it's like that's all
• 19:00
  Speaker 12: and you're on the radio, like that's so, that's geezy,
• 19:05
  Speaker 12: that's the best thing.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: I'm glad it didn't seem like hard no, because then
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: you'd be like I can ever do this. I'm not
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: gonna get into radio, and you wouldn't be here. So
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: I'm glad.
• 19:15
  Speaker 11: Yeah, it's true.
• 19:17
  Speaker 12: Yeah, So so I just wanted to say that, like
• 19:20
  Speaker 12: what I tried to do still tried to do in
• 19:23
  Speaker 12: radio is like I have funny friends, and I'm like,
• 19:27
  Speaker 12: you should be on the radio telling your story, and
• 19:31
  Speaker 12: I'm gonna do it like Jonathan and Josh.
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: It's gonna be a whole thing.
• 19:35
  Speaker 12: It's just gonna be like a conversation that kind of
• 19:37
  Speaker 12: unfolds naturally. It's funny and then it'll kind of morph
• 19:42
  Speaker 12: into this American life story and that that's been my
• 19:46
  Speaker 12: plan for a really long time. And now I work
• 19:50
  Speaker 12: at this American life and I still can't get my
• 19:53
  Speaker 12: friend Lenz on the radio.
• 19:56
  Speaker 6: Like I try.
• 19:57
  Speaker 12: I like beg her so let me recorder, and I
• 20:01
  Speaker 12: lie to her that I'm not going to use it,
• 20:04
  Speaker 12: that that's not the plan. And now she's a very tense,
• 20:09
  Speaker 12: serious immigration lawyer, so she has a lot of stories
• 20:12
  Speaker 12: that are relevant to the current moment, stories that she
• 20:16
  Speaker 12: thinks like aren't appropriate to tell on the radio because
• 20:18
  Speaker 12: they're about her clients.
• 20:20
  Speaker 11: But like, I don't see it that way.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: You know, we have a clip.
• 20:26
  Speaker 6: I just so happened to have a clip, and I'm.
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: Gonna record for me.
• 20:32
  Speaker 6: No, but they I'll remember it better. Oh you can't.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: First of all, I can't even tell you about it
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: because it's a client. So I'm I'll just give you
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: no remember it better, ruh me.
• 20:39
  Speaker 6: I see you like every day.
• 20:43
  Speaker 11: That's like all the.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Time, so that it's like every day you still that
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: is still something that you want to do.
• 20:51
  Speaker 12: Yeah, man, somehow the way that you interviewed your friends
• 20:56
  Speaker 12: on this American life like decade and decades ago.
• 21:01
  Speaker 11: You know, long long ago.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: It's a long time ago.
• 21:04
  Speaker 11: Yeah, it's it's like the best radio ever.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: It's it's funny to me to hear you say that,
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: because you do all of these like serious, important political
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: stories for this American life, and I'm I feel like
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: I'm just making like knock knock jokes on the radio.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: And and to me, the irony has always been that
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: I'm not an easy laugh and that's been a problem
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: for me in broadcasting, because laughing can say so much
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: like when you're interviewing someone. A laugh can feel like,
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: you know, like a warm arm around the shoulder and
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: let the person know that you're enjoying them, and it
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: gives them confidence. And I'm not much of a laugher
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: and and I've suffered for that. But but having my
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: close friends to do stories with people who legitimately make
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: me laugh make me a better broadcaster than I naturally am.
• 22:03
  Speaker 10: Should we introduce another person who makes you laugh?
• 22:06
  Speaker 7: Yes?
• 22:07
  Speaker 6: Please?
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: So you're gonna stick around, right, you don't have to
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: go any place.
• 22:12
  Speaker 11: Yet, right, I have nothing going on.
• 22:14
  Speaker 10: Okay, Previously the host of it was too long, and
• 22:20
  Speaker 10: so I didn't read it. He now hosts the show
• 22:24
  Speaker 10: reply All with Alex Goldman. He has a small dog
• 22:28
  Speaker 10: which wants pete on Alex Bloomberg's desk. PJ Vote Everyone.
• 22:34
  Speaker 8: PJA vote whoa p J Vote everybody, PJ vote.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: Whoa poo?
• 22:51
  Speaker 8: Pool Bool, PJ vote.
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: Pool Pool.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: You just received the human beatboxing of a lifetime. My
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: friend had that feel.
• 23:07
  Speaker 7: It felt like three different stress dreams that I had
• 23:10
  Speaker 7: happening at the same time.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Now, PJ. So when I was figuring out Heavyweight, I
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: was talking to you a lot.
• 23:20
  Speaker 7: You're sort of figuring out like what is the show?
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, And at the time it was sort of about
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: It had to do with this idea that, like every
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: the irony of living in society was that everybody knows
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: something about you that you just can't figure out about yourself. Right,
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Like the ultimate irony is how one cannot know oneself.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Just as a knife cannot cut itself or a fire
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: cannot burn itself, a human being cannot really know itself.
• 23:51
  Speaker 6: I think a fire can burn itself.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Anyway, I was getting I was getting poetical all right. Anyway,
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: the idea was a little broader than Heavyweight. It was
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: just sort of like I'm going to help people figure
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: out things that they can't figure about themselves.
• 24:06
  Speaker 7: You're calling it Jonathan Goldstein medicine woman.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: That was my wife's idea. That was Emily's idea, Jonathan
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: gold Seen medicine woman. And so you came to me
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: with a particular problem, which.
• 24:19
  Speaker 7: Was I've been told or hinted at on more than
• 24:23
  Speaker 7: one occasion that there was something about my face that
• 24:26
  Speaker 7: was like inherently punishable, that you had a punishable face.
• 24:31
  Speaker 7: I had a punishable face, right, And I'm sorry, I
• 24:35
  Speaker 7: just like literally just feel a bunch of people looking
• 24:37
  Speaker 7: at my face like sizing out. It does not feel good.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Sorry, And and how was it that you described like
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: what makes a punishable face?
• 24:48
  Speaker 7: I think that people see like either a. I think
• 24:54
  Speaker 7: there's like a you can have it. There's a couple
• 24:55
  Speaker 7: of kinds. But one is like a kind of inherent
• 24:57
  Speaker 7: smugness and one is a sort of pnus. And if
• 25:01
  Speaker 7: you have both of them, I think it's like, yeah.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: I want so I wanted to make PJ. I wanted
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: to eradicate that really I don't think it's true. But
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: any of that, but anyway, uh, and and the way
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: and I was re listening to the tape, and so
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: much of it was making me wish that we had
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: actually been able to do this story. You describe yourself
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: as a kid wearing like bifocals or something in it,
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: like a skin tight white turtleneck with Hawaiian punch stains
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: all over it, and I was like heartbreaking. Anyway, So
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: I set out and I talked to your friends, I
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: talked to uh former employers, I talked I really covered
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: a lot of bases. I don't know we ever talked
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: about this.
• 25:48
  Speaker 7: I'm not not in detail.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Okay. So at one point, so desperate I was to
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: find because I it wasn't The problem with the story
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: was that in the end, people didn't really think you
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: had a punchable face, and so I felt desperate. I
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: felt like, well, I've got to find people that think
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: he has a punishable face. And so I went to
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: a place where I thought people would be most inclined
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: to want to punch you in the face. So I
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: went to a boxing gym, and I carried with me
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: a framed photograph of you to really get them riled up,
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: to kind of bait them. And so this is this
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: is tape of me talking to some of the boxers
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: as a boxer. Do you think that this guy has
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: a punishable face?
• 26:38
  Speaker 10: No?
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Does he seem like he has a punishable face?
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: Nah?
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: Do you think that he has a punishable face? Nope, no, no,
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: I do not think he has a punchable face.
• 26:47
  Speaker 9: Looks like a very talented, strong young man, a.
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: Social, outgoing kind of person.
• 26:53
  Speaker 9: I mean, it looks friendly, It looks smiling right now.
• 26:56
  Speaker 9: Would you want to punch him?
• 26:57
  Speaker 11: Why would you say he has a punishable face?
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: I think sometimes like people have felt like because he
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: seems so smiley.
• 27:05
  Speaker 6: Uh, there's no reason to be punched in the face
• 27:08
  Speaker 6: just for being happy.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: I was this guy.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: He's a friend of ours. His name is PJ.
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: Well, no, PJ.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: I don't know why people have been telling you that
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: maybe you have to work on your attitude. Guy, but
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: you don't look punishable. Man, all right, PJ, wherever.
• 27:21
  Speaker 6: You are pe.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: So that was it. You didn't have a punchable face.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: So they're applotting for you for not having a punishable face.
• 27:32
  Speaker 7: I'm honestly surprised at how hard it is to get
• 27:34
  Speaker 7: boxers to say that they want to punch somebody.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: I know we have a photograph of the photograph that
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: I brought into the boxing gym. PJ, I'll ask you
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: to describe it.
• 27:46
  Speaker 7: I feel like this goes against everything that you've said.
• 27:50
  Speaker 7: Just a ninny with a stupid, punishable face.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: No, no, that's not true.
• 27:55
  Speaker 7: It's like it's like the smile is like I think
• 27:57
  Speaker 7: I'm better than you, but also worse.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: But like but like you're you're standing on a yacht
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: or something, you're standing on a building, a balcony, and you.
• 28:09
  Speaker 11: You're wearing and you're lying yet more.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: If you're wearing a watch, Like, who do you think
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: you are? Anyway? Not a punishable face, Ladies and gentlemen.
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: Oh, PJ, you crack me up.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: AnyWho, We've got to take a short break and when
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: we come back, you'll hear the shortest heavyweight story ever made.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: But first some important words from some very important sponsors.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: This next killed story.
• 29:00
  Speaker 10: This was something that we really liked and it worked
• 29:02
  Speaker 10: out really well, and it totally fit the form of
• 29:05
  Speaker 10: the show.
• 29:05
  Speaker 6: But it was just really short.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: It worked out too well. It all came together in
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: like just a few minutes and.
• 29:15
  Speaker 10: So but so we made it into an animated video
• 29:19
  Speaker 10: for all of you here at the Heavyweight Live Show for.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: Your viewing enjoyment, and we will play it now. Chanelle
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: comes from a family that has a hard time saying
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: I love you. They hardly ever say it.
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: Actually, not really at all.
• 29:35
  Speaker 13: It's like a there's a death in the family, or
• 29:40
  Speaker 13: I mean, yeah, mostly if there's a death in the family.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: You've preserved the power of the the words in a
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: way I mean to me, it's just like I might
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: as well just be saying, okay, will feedback later, I
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: love you. There was a moment when Chanelle almost said it.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: She was going through a hard time and her mom
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: had come to stay with her in Brooklyn. Chanel wanted
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: to say I love you just as her mom was
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: about to leave.
• 30:07
  Speaker 13: I've been dropping her off at Penn Station. You know,
• 30:10
  Speaker 13: we sat there until she had to go. And she
• 30:12
  Speaker 13: starts walking away, and this is weird. I like started crying,
• 30:16
  Speaker 13: like falling in the middle of Pin Station. You know,
• 30:18
  Speaker 13: nobody cares because there's like a thousand people in Penn Station.
• 30:21
  Speaker 13: I'm right near like the switchboard or it tells you
• 30:24
  Speaker 13: the times, so people are just like staring at that.
• 30:26
  Speaker 13: And she turns around and she gets this weird look
• 30:29
  Speaker 13: on her face and she turns back around.
• 30:31
  Speaker 11: She has to keep going, she's in line.
• 30:33
  Speaker 13: And the whole time, I was like, oh my gosh,
• 30:35
  Speaker 13: I wish I had like told her how much she
• 30:37
  Speaker 13: means to me in that moment, and like how she
• 30:40
  Speaker 13: came at the perfect time and did all these things
• 30:42
  Speaker 13: for me, And I'm like, why can't I say I
• 30:44
  Speaker 13: love you to her?
• 30:46
  Speaker 10: So?
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: When when was the last time that you told your
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: mother that you loved her?
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: I don't remember.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: That's a long time. And this is why I've invited
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Chanelle here today to help create a safe place for
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: her heart to speak its truth and to not allow
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: her or her heart to leave that safe place until
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: it happens. Do you think there's a way to say
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: it to where it was sort of like you were
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: clearing away the space.
• 31:21
  Speaker 11: Yeah, I think I would have to follow up with
• 31:23
  Speaker 11: like a I really mean it.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: I love you, mom, and I really mean it.
• 31:27
  Speaker 13: I'm not trying to joke with you, I think because
• 31:31
  Speaker 13: I'm uncomfortable, I'm like it's going to show and then
• 31:33
  Speaker 13: maybe not.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Everything's supposed to be comfortable, that's.
• 31:37
  Speaker 13: True, but I have to I have to like have
• 31:41
  Speaker 13: a reason to call her right. I can't just be like, hey, mom,
• 31:44
  Speaker 13: I love you, kay bye.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: You know there's this song that comes to mind, an
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: obscure little ditty by a performer named Stevie Wonder. I
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: don't know if you're familiar with him, you know, I don't. Yes,
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: the song is I just called to say I love you.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: How does a song go I just call it to
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: say I love you?
• 31:59
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: I meet him from the bottom of my heart. What
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: about a sign off like okay, I love you? Yeah?
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: You want to get the pronoun in there, you want
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: to get the eye in there. You want me to
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: say it for you? She'll I feel like, what, like
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: it's a hostage situation. Who is that I'm gonna send
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: Chanel's pinky toe to just to let you know that
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: she's fine.
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: She's fine. I mean she's not already afraid enough. But
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: I live in a city alone.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know. I wanted to say it and
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: I'm saying it now.
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 32:33
  Speaker 13: No, Yeah, she's at work, but she always calls me
• 32:38
  Speaker 13: when I'm at work, so it's probably fine.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: Does she pick up and say She'll probably say I'm
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: in richter and taft.
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: Like what do you want? Missy. Okay, should I do it?
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: Am I doing it?
• 32:52
  Speaker 13: Now?
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: Okay? Here we go, Okay, answer the phone.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, hi mom, what do you want?
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: What's up? I?
• 33:15
  Speaker 11: Okay?
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: You remember that time when you came to visit me?
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 33:20
  Speaker 13: Yeah, and then you were at the trains station and
• 33:23
  Speaker 13: I started crying. Yeah, Well, in that moment, I really
• 33:29
  Speaker 13: wanted to tell you how much you meant to me
• 33:32
  Speaker 13: and that you helped a lot that week because I
• 33:37
  Speaker 13: was like emotionally distraught and you cooked me all those
• 33:40
  Speaker 13: meals and you were there and you watched Transparent season
• 33:44
  Speaker 13: two with me and it was great, and I just
• 33:47
  Speaker 13: wanted to tell you.
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: That I love you a lot.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Oh you de strode about.
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: Doesn't matter what I was just strad about.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: Why are you?
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: No?
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: It doesn't matter. What matters is I love you.
• 34:07
  Speaker 10: I know that.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, wait a minute, what's something wrong?
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: Now? Nothing's wrong?
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: Are you sure? Yeah? Okay?
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: That was really sweety you should now wow, wow, Mom,
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: this is so sentimental.
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: Well, don't be crying.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: Don't get me teary eyed until I work walking the
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: hallways trying to get trying to get my steps on release.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: But you know me and my love you too, your
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: mom love you too?
• 34:40
  Speaker 11: Really, m okay, okay, all right, I'll talk to you
• 34:46
  Speaker 11: all right, okay, bye bye.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: I I'd like to ask Chanel and her mom Marilyn,
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: to stand up. I think you guys are supposed to
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: be here. Yeah, all right, yeah, And with that, I
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: think we draw our show to a close. On a
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: positive note, I would like to introduce to the stage
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: Matt Bowle, who's going to play us out, and Devin
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: Gwynn is going to be accompanying him with some human
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: beat boxing.
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: Now that the fun it chose we turn into its good.
• 36:10
  Speaker 14: Will dishes in last week's papers.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: Rumors and elections crosser and in the blackend I things
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: me the printing song every Door puts.
• 36:32
  Speaker 14: Now that the last month's man is scheming with the
• 36:37
  Speaker 14: damage to POSSI take this moment to the side sign
• 36:41
  Speaker 14: and into if We meant it, and we tried sign
• 36:46
  Speaker 14: and into felt around for five two months that accident charge.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: Sign Into Heavyweight is hosted and produced by me Nathan
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: Goldstein along with Stevie Lane, Peter Bresnan, and Khalila Holt,
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: editing by Jorge just Special thanks to Zoe Chase and
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: PJ Vote and Jackie Cohen. Animation by Arthur Jones with
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: music by Christine Fellows and Blue Dot Sessions. Audio mixing
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: by Emma Munger. Our theme song is by The Weaker
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: Thans courtesy of Epitaph Records and was performed by Matthew
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Bole with beatboxing by Devin Gwynn. Thank you Live Studio
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: audience for coming out tonight. Give yourselves a big Heavyweight
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: round of applause. Good night.
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: Thanks Jonathan, great show before we go.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: We also want to thank Julian Quiznski and Bay Area
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: Sound for mixing this episode. Special things also to Joshua Carpati,
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: Chris Neary, and Victoria Barner. If you want to hear
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: the Little Mermaid story that Jonathan produced at This American Life,
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: you can find it at This American Life dot org.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: And if you want to see the animated video that
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: we made to accompany Chanel's story, you can find it
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: on our YouTube channel, YouTube dot com slash Gimbletmedia. Again,
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: that's YouTube dot com slash Gimbletmedia. We'll be back with
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: a brand new episode of Heavyweight next week.