Latest / The Action Catalyst / REMASTERED: Love Your Life, Not Theirs, and Eradicating Comparison, with Rachel Cruze (Finances, Debt, Money, Gratitude)

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REMASTERED: Love Your Life, Not Theirs, and Eradicating Comparison, with Rachel Cruze (Finances, Debt, Money, Gratitude) · The Action Catalyst

• 0:34
  Host: Rachel Cruze. She's a great speaker. She's an amazing
• 0:36
  communicator, and her book is called Love Your Life, Not
• 0:41
  Theirs. And so Rachel, welcome back to the show.
• 0:44
  Rachel Cruze: Thank you.
• 0:45
  Host: Why this book and why right now?
• 0:48
  Rachel Cruze: Well, you know, I have found you know more than
• 0:51
  ever, I feel like social media has made it easier for us to
• 0:54
  compare ourselves to everyone else. You know kind of gives us
• 0:57
  this picture into everyone's world. And so I find, you know,
• 1:00
  with statistics, and as I go and talk to you, well, people are
• 1:02
  struggling with their money, but we don't see that side of the
• 1:05
  picture. Literally, we don't. And so really, with this book, I
• 1:09
  walk people through seven money habits for living the life that
• 1:12
  they want, not what everyone else is living, but the life
• 1:15
  they want to do it without debt, without stress, without worry.
• 1:19
  And so that's really the theme through the book. It's kind of
• 1:21
  this comparison thread. But I also walk you through seven
• 1:23
  money habits to get you to the point where you can use money as
• 1:26
  a tool to help you do the things you want and do the things you
• 1:29
  value.
• 1:30
  Host: There's some really damaging habits that we develop.
• 1:33
  And you already mentioned the big C word.
• 1:36
  Rachel Cruze: Yeah, comparison, right. It's like the word that
• 1:38
  everyone is in battle with, I feel like, on a daily basis,
• 1:42
  and, yeah, and it's just very dangerous, because what ends up
• 1:44
  happening is that comparison not only steals our joy, but it
• 1:48
  feels our paychecks as well, because we end up spending, you
• 1:52
  know, gone, awful amounts of money to keep up the lifestyle
• 1:55
  that we think everyone else is living, but we're missing out on
• 1:58
  because that lifestyle is what we're seeing on social media.
• 2:01
  And just like you said, I mean, like, Instagram, Facebook,
• 2:03
  Twitter, it's the new cars, it's the Christmas gifts, it's the
• 2:05
  vacations, it's the first class airline seats. I mean, whatever
• 2:09
  it is, it's like, it's constantly it's everyone's
• 2:11
  highlight reel. And so if you are gaging your life via social
• 2:15
  media, and you're like, Okay, well, this is what this person
• 2:18
  is doing all the time. Their life looks amazing all the time.
• 2:20
  You know, the filters they're using makes everything even more
• 2:22
  beautiful. I mean, like, the whole bit. And what we have to
• 2:24
  understand is, like, that's not reality, that's not the entire
• 2:27
  picture. And again, going, you know, after years of research
• 2:32
  and studying the topic of money, I know that people are
• 2:35
  struggling with money. So I see a brand new kitchen that's
• 2:38
  redone, you know, granite countertops and new lights and
• 2:41
  like, that's what I see on Facebook. It's like, Joanna
• 2:43
  Gaines went in and waved her magic wand, and it's like, it's
• 2:46
  beautiful and it's a redone kitchen. But I know on the back
• 2:49
  end, how many remodeled homes do that take out a separate
• 2:52
  mortgage? And so I've just had to look and say, Okay, it's not
• 2:56
  all reality. We don't really know what's going on behind that
• 2:58
  picture. And so that's what people have to focus on. Because
• 3:00
  if you try to make your life as great as someone else's on
• 3:03
  social media, it's really it's never going to happen.
• 3:06
  Comparison is a battle no one's ever going to win, and it's
• 3:08
  true. And so we have to remove ourselves from from that
• 3:11
  perspective to say, hey, I want to focus on my life. Put the
• 3:14
  blinders on and say, What's best for me and my family? What are
• 3:17
  things we want to do? What are things we value? And how do we
• 3:20
  use our money as a tool to get us there?
• 3:22
  Host: Let's get into the practical in terms of, you know,
• 3:25
  what are some of these habits that somebody's listening right
• 3:28
  now that they can, they can start doing immediately, just to
• 3:32
  maybe lower the stress level a little bit and get on the right
• 3:35
  track?
• 3:35
  Rachel Cruze: Sure. Well, the whole comparison, you know, quit
• 3:38
  the comparisons, is one of the habits in the book. And so
• 3:41
  talking about that, I think it's an important one to start on,
• 3:43
  because to be able to be content in life, you're going to be able
• 3:47
  to win financially so much faster than when you're
• 3:49
  discontent. And so finding that contentment is kind of your
• 3:52
  level playing field, and you're never going to be content if
• 3:54
  you're comparing your life to someone else's constantly. So I
• 3:57
  say, you know, the action point on that is gratitude, and that
• 4:00
  word embodies so much. But I have found in my own life that
• 4:03
  when I'm grateful and my heart is filled with gratitude, there
• 4:06
  is no room for discontentment and comparison and to start
• 4:10
  there and just be like, You know what I'm going to I started a
• 4:13
  gratitude list on my phone, and so every morning I try to type
• 4:16
  down just two things I'm grateful for. And it's such a
• 4:19
  good exercise for me to really start, you know, my day, and
• 4:22
  really my perspective on this idea of, okay, hey, I'm great.
• 4:26
  Here's all the things I'm grateful for. I'm gonna start
• 4:28
  there, and then from there you can build and so another habit
• 4:31
  is you'll make a plan for your money. You have to be the one
• 4:33
  controlling your money, not your money controlling you. And so a
• 4:37
  plan for your money, really a budget, is what that is. We can
• 4:40
  go got the B word, because no one likes that word, but it is.
• 4:43
  It's a tool to help you get through the month and be able to
• 4:46
  make sure all your necessities are covered and to plan out.
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  Hey, here's what I want to do for fun, but you're doing it
• 4:51
  with a plan, which sounds boring, but really what it does
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  is a limit. I mean, a budget, it doesn't limit your freedom. A
• 4:57
  budget gives you freedom. A budget. It really gives you
• 5:00
  permission to spend and so putting that habit in your life
• 5:04
  where it'll jump start you, I believe that the gaining control
• 5:07
  back with your money when you're in debt and the bank is
• 5:10
  basically controlling your life, financially speaking, you know,
• 5:13
  car loans, credit cards, student loans, it's just this constant,
• 5:16
  you know, the lender is there. You don't have many options in
• 5:19
  life. And so when you don't have choices, you don't have options,
• 5:22
  anything that seems gratifying or satisfying in the moment you
• 5:25
  gravitate towards, and it's like, oh my gosh, I want that
• 5:28
  new TV or I want that one that you find yourself a little bit
• 5:31
  more under the desperation column, I would say, because
• 5:35
  financially, you are when you're living paycheck to paycheck
• 5:38
  because of debt. And so when debts freed up and suddenly
• 5:41
  you'll owe anyone anything. You suddenly become less impressed
• 5:45
  with with everyone else around you, in a sense, and because you
• 5:49
  have the option, you have money piled up in the bank, and you
• 5:51
  can say, I don't really need that. You know, you know, you're
• 5:54
  able to make choices and make decisions more with clarity,
• 5:58
  versus being all fogged by the stress and the burden, really,
• 6:01
  of debt.
• 6:03
  Host: What are a couple of the other things that we can do to
• 6:07
  continue down the journey here?
• 6:09
  Rachel Cruze: Yeah, well, we kind of touched on it earlier,
• 6:11
  but it's but it's true the whole debt discussion. And so one of
• 6:14
  the habits is steer clear of debt. And what does that look
• 6:16
  like, practically in your life when you don't use debts in your
• 6:20
  life? How are you able to take vacations? How are you able to,
• 6:23
  you know, I hear so many people say, Well, how can I, you know,
• 6:25
  grocery shop and buy organic but still do it on a budget,
• 6:29
  basically meaning like, how do I live my life still and, well,
• 6:31
  how do I do these things? Because so many people depend on
• 6:34
  the avenue of debt to get them what they want right when they
• 6:37
  want it. And so what does it look like to not have that in
• 6:40
  your life, not only to get out of debt, but to continue to live
• 6:43
  a debt free life. And so the huge element of this, there's
• 6:47
  another habit that I talk about that says, talk about money even
• 6:51
  when it's hard and money is interesting within our
• 6:53
  relationships, and when you and your spouse can get on the same
• 6:56
  page about money, it changes so much the unity in your marriage
• 7:01
  is strengthened. Your hopes and your fears and your dreams are
• 7:04
  all come into alignment together as a couple. And this whole
• 7:08
  conversation with money around, you know, spouses, but even
• 7:11
  parents to their kids, even, and I've seen and talked to more
• 7:15
  adult children talking to their parents about money, because
• 7:19
  their parents, you know, they don't have a will. They don't
• 7:20
  have these things in place. And so what do those conversations
• 7:23
  look like? And so really, the relationship aspect of money is
• 7:26
  a habit that we all need to form, and it's hard. Sometimes
• 7:29
  it's awkward. I mean, being able to make this a habit in your
• 7:32
  life and your marriage just is so healthy, and so walking
• 7:35
  through that is key.
• 7:36
  Host: So I want to shift the conversation a little bit here.
• 7:39
  Can you just, like, share a little bit of what it was like,
• 7:41
  kind of growing up in this whole world?
• 7:44
  Rachel Cruze: Yeah, I think some people assume, like an extreme
• 7:48
  case, that we had, like, mutual fund parties and, you know,
• 7:52
  budget meetings and camps on the weekends and all this stuff and
• 7:56
  and really, that wasn't the case at all, mom and dad, they were
• 7:59
  nowhere obsessed with this topic. They were not obsessed
• 8:02
  about it, but they were intentional. And so, you know,
• 8:05
  when it came down to the principal aspect of money, you
• 8:07
  know, they really just taught us, really on the ebb and flow
• 8:10
  of life. It was nothing fancy, it was nothing glamorous. It was
• 8:12
  just like, hey, you work, you get paid. You don't work, you
• 8:14
  don't get paid. Okay, you work, you get some money. What do you
• 8:17
  do with it? You get save and spend. And so they kind of just
• 8:19
  walked it through really basic elements of money. And I think
• 8:22
  the most important new thing, thing they did for us when it
• 8:25
  came to our money, but also, I think of our lives. One great
• 8:28
  thing as a parent, as parents, they did was they let us make
• 8:31
  mistakes. And for me, that was so key, because I think you
• 8:34
  learn so much from from those mistakes, and yet you can learn
• 8:38
  without making mistakes, and see other people's mistakes and be
• 8:40
  like, Okay, I don't want to go down that road, but especially
• 8:43
  when it comes to your money, to make these small, insignificant
• 8:46
  mistakes with money while you're under a roof, and it's under a
• 8:49
  controlled environment, versus being out on my own, making my
• 8:53
  first mistake, you know, when I'm 22 and it's on a car lot,
• 8:56
  and it's a 10s of 1000s of dollars mistakes instead of a
• 8:59
  $10 mistake. And so they really were great at that. They were
• 9:02
  not this, like these controlling parents that, you know, watched
• 9:04
  every little penny. They really let us learn. And sometimes that
• 9:08
  was hard, and sometimes that was good.
• 9:09
  Host: You feel like you're planting a flag here and in this
• 9:12
  space. Does it really still fire you up? Is it something that
• 9:17
  you've adopted as part of, like, your long term plan to be the
• 9:20
  next generation of financial literacy?
• 9:22
  Rachel Cruze: I think so, yeah. I mean, I'm so passionate about
• 9:25
  those subjects, and I love it. I love my job. I love being able
• 9:28
  to travel and speak and talk to people and do media and really
• 9:31
  insert into people's lives again, the subject that is so
• 9:35
  hopeless for so many people and so shameful, and so being able
• 9:38
  to bring that light and that hope and that direction and that
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  instruction is, I do i i love it so much, and so I'm intentional
• 9:46
  with the decisions I make and work. It's not that I'm aloof to
• 9:49
  it, but I really am, you know, just seeing what happens at the
• 9:53
  next at the next phase. Yeah, if it were up to me today, I would
• 9:56
  definitely say this is this will be in my future for many years
• 9:59
  to come.
• 10:00
  Host: That's cool. And so the final little thing, Rachel is
• 10:02
  just, if somebody's listening and and maybe they haven't done
• 10:06
  such a good job of filtering what they see on social media,
• 10:09
  what would you say directly to that, to that one person?
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  Rachel Cruze: I would say that it's never too early and it's
• 10:15
  never too late, no matter where you are today, no matter where
• 10:18
  you're starting on the financial spectrum, whether you're deeply
• 10:20
  in debt or even if you've you're out of debt and you have, you
• 10:23
  know, a million dollars in retirement, wherever you are on
• 10:25
  the spectrum, you can still do better with money, day in and
• 10:28
  day out, starting today. And I look back on my story, my
• 10:31
  parents filed for bankruptcy the year I was born. And so if they
• 10:35
  can come out of it and raise a family that is out of that
• 10:39
  tradition of debt and have changed their family tree,
• 10:42
  anyone can. So don't let your past mistakes hinder your
• 10:45
  future. You have to start today. But that's the thing is, it's
• 10:47
  going to be hard. It's going to be challenging creating good
• 10:50
  money habits in your life. It's going to take some time, and
• 10:53
  it's going to take some pain, but pushing through, being
• 10:56
  consistent on the on the other side of all of this, it is so
• 11:00
  worth it, because money will not control you any longer. You will
• 11:05
  control your money, and you will have the power to be able to
• 11:08
  say, You know what, these are the decisions I want to make,
• 11:10
  and you're going to be able to do them. And so again, no matter
• 11:12
  where you are on the on the edge of bankruptcy or all the way up,
• 11:16
  if you feel like you've gotten your life under control, just
• 11:18
  know that every day, day in and day out, you can make a
• 11:21
  difference in your life, and you can make different money choices
• 11:23
  to help you get to where you want to go.
• 11:26
  Host: Rachel Cruze, my friends, Rachel Cruze, keep doing a good
• 11:29
  thing. You're making a big, big difference in the world.
• 11:31
  Rachel Cruze: So appreciate you having me on. Thank you.