Latest / Now That We're A Family / 519: Myths About Pregnancy

Transcript

519: Myths About Pregnancy · Now That We're A Family

0:00
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think there's a lot of myths when it comes to pregnancy.
0:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I've bought into a lot of these myths over the years, and there's something that I want to encourage you in, whether you are on your first pregnancy, or on your seventh pregnancy, or you're doing the math, and you're overwhelmed at the potential of pregnancies that God might bless you with.
0:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And hopefully this episode is just encouraging as we have continued this faith walk of pregnancy, there have been different things.
0:27
[SPEAKER_01]: that the Lord has repeatedly shown us were limiting beliefs and fears that were unnecessary.
0:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I just want to encourage you guys in that if you are in that season.
0:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't want this to be discouraging if you're in the middle of a really difficult pregnancy right now.
0:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe at the tail end, and you're like, oh man, if I could go back, that's just not how the Lord works.
0:50
[SPEAKER_01]: He moves us forward.
0:51
[SPEAKER_01]: We can learn from the past so we can move forward.
0:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Or if you just finished a really difficult pregnancy, and it wasn't what you hoped it could be.
0:59
[SPEAKER_01]: There's always, you know, tomorrow.
1:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what I love about God's grace.
1:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, children in it of themselves are a worthy pursuit, right?
1:08
[SPEAKER_00]: The gift that children are, you can't compare with it in this Earth.
1:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, yes, there are going to be struggles that come with that and it's going to require lifestyle changes.
1:21
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to require sacrifices that are physical, that are mental.
1:27
[SPEAKER_00]: However, I don't think that
1:29
[SPEAKER_00]: culture wants you to have and I say culture, like broadly, you know, it's like, okay, who's culture?
1:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Who are we talking about here?
1:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think that there are a lot of voices encouraging people to have many children and that you can thrive in different areas of life while having
1:44
[SPEAKER_00]: many children, and we've just the Lord has been able to show us, and equip us, and really kind to us, and showing us how we had really limited thinking in certain areas.
1:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're saying this in regards to our context, and so this looked a certain way for us, meaning, you know, limiting beliefs around our marriage, limiting beliefs around our
2:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess, material capabilities with our other children, limiting beliefs around the time that we would be able to put pour into our other children.
2:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And many more other topics that you're going to go into around health and just bandwidth.
2:20
[SPEAKER_00]: But...
2:21
[SPEAKER_00]: the outcome was different for us than what it's going to be for each one of our listeners and what we want to get to is just the belief around this, right?
2:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And so time spent with other children is going to be different for us than what it is with you.
2:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I spent with other children.
2:37
[SPEAKER_00]: with our other children, I guess is what I'm saying.
2:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that category, how the Lord's equipped to be able to pour into our other children while having additional children will look different for us than it's gonna look for other people, or how you've been able to thrive spiritually or in your health is gonna look different for you than for other people.
2:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so one of the myths here is pregnancy is something to get through.
3:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I think this one's really popular in our culture because it comes from this mindset of we are going to have our children the set number or whatever it looks like and then we're going to be done having children.
3:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And so when you view children like that as something to acquire at a certain time in life and then move on to the next season in life, then it's really easy to also buy into this myth that pregnancy is something to get through.
3:24
[SPEAKER_01]: and so you're thinking okay it's only nine months so if I'm eating poorly I can do better on the other side or if I'm feeling you know un energetic or I am maybe just like a poor version of myself like I'm snappy or more impatient more tired maybe I'm getting up and I'm not
3:44
[SPEAKER_01]: getting dressed for the day.
3:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not presenting my best self to my family.
3:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Well this is just like a hard season.
3:50
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll get through it and then on the other side, I will do all these things to kind of repair the damage done over the nine months.
3:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And I had that belief system even though we hope for a larger than average family.
4:05
[SPEAKER_01]: When we had our sixth child, I really felt like
4:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, this is as many children as we had hoped to have.
4:13
[SPEAKER_01]: We have our six now, and I just thought, okay, now is the season for me to enter into the next season of life, like I got through those pregnancies.
4:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And this seventh pregnancy has been so different for me, because,
4:28
[SPEAKER_01]: the Lord really changed our perspective when it came to child bearing in terms of being just more open and generous to what he has for us.
4:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And while that promise is not necessarily more children, I knew that I didn't want to just get through a pregnancy.
4:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted it to be something that if this is going to keep happening.
4:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I want our marriage to be great in this season, and I want my children to not feel like, oh mommy's pregnant again, she's going to be crabbier, she's not going to be put together for the day or something like that.
5:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that was something different that we started out, or I started out this pregnancy with, was in the really nauseous first trimester, getting up, I had really comfortable clothes,
5:20
[SPEAKER_01]: and I put on mascara, and I brush my hair, and I would come out like just like be so shaky and nauseous waiting for my bone broth to boil, and then just sit down in my chair, but I would sit there potentially for like two or three hours of the day.
5:35
[SPEAKER_01]: But I felt put together.
5:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't coming out and my pajamas every single morning for three months.
5:41
[SPEAKER_01]: It was kind of like, well, if I'm going to have these three months stretches potentially over and over and over,
5:48
[SPEAKER_01]: How can this not be something I just get through?
5:50
[SPEAKER_01]: How can it be something that is still in little tiny, easy ways, kind of still showing my children that I care and I'll actually that I care.
6:00
[SPEAKER_01]: And feel better about myself as well.
6:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, in addition to that and not only did you put yourself together, when you were sitting down and, again, you weren't, you didn't have the same energy and, you know, like, I guess, go get it attitude as maybe you have to do.
6:18
[SPEAKER_00]: would have had prior to, you know, when you were in the first trimester, but what she did have was just such a loving countenance and a great attitude with me and with the children.
6:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't like we all wanted to avoid you or just kind of like, you know, I guess walking on thin ice around you, you were so pleasant to be around and I'm so humbled by that and retrospect because I know you were so, you know, you're so, you know, you're
6:40
[SPEAKER_00]: yeah nauseous like you were dealing with nausea and and yet you would sit there drink your bone broth and engage in good conversation you would also just kind of like instruct the children from that you're like quarterbacking the kids from that spot which I think was great for the they enjoyed it right you were just kind of conducting them for throughout their day from that spot and it was really inspiring and it's even more inspiring to
7:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's sleigh to you to say.
7:08
[SPEAKER_01]: It was encouraging.
7:08
[SPEAKER_01]: It was just a different little mindset shift.
7:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I think there's some areas in life that Alisha and I bought into early where we didn't want to say, like, okay, our child, you know, our toddler years are just going to be a disaster on our marriage.
7:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Like we wanted a romantic marriage in spite of that and be best friends in spite of that.
7:25
[SPEAKER_01]: And there were things that we didn't buy into in terms of just get through culture.
7:30
[SPEAKER_01]: But it was still prevalent in some ways, where I just kind of gave myself that excuse.
7:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And like Alisha said, I was not getting up and being my normal self.
7:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I think there's a lot of them that come to mind when I think of pregnancies that have very difficult pregnancies that I know and love, and not I don't know and love their difficult pregnancies.
7:51
[SPEAKER_01]: But the people who have them.
7:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And these women, some of them are on bed rest.
7:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Some of that have intense varicose vein, some of them are nauseous, their entire pregnancies.
8:01
[SPEAKER_01]: There's just some really hard traumatic situations out there.
8:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Some are very low, like chronic fatigue level in exhaustion and just cannot move.
8:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that it still can be a season that's a blessing
8:17
[SPEAKER_01]: to our families.
8:18
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think this was the first time I was really able to enjoy that.
8:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I just had to change my perspective.
8:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And like Alisha said, I didn't get off the couch.
8:26
[SPEAKER_01]: You know the kids would come up and be like, hey, what are you going to make breakfast?
8:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I'll make breakfast as soon as I'm feeling a little better.
8:34
[SPEAKER_01]: But right now I'm just gonna finish my bone broth and often we're hiding the pregnancy at first from the kids too So I wasn't like, you know, that's a good motivator to like not be a blob But then often the older kids would just be like, well, can I make it and it's like sure go ahead That would be great They would make breakfast.
8:52
[SPEAKER_01]: They'd sit down and eat breakfast.
8:53
[SPEAKER_01]: They would scant breakfast on their own
8:55
[SPEAKER_01]: and then after that they would just come to me with their workbooks and we just do lessons sitting on the couch and I probably sat there to like 11.30 or noon when I started feeling like okay I could hold myself together now and get up and start moving around for the day and about that time I was like time to take a nap or something.
9:14
[SPEAKER_01]: But I have really sweet memories of the seasons and it's totally different than how I live my life on a regular basis.
9:21
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's like if it was a blessing to me, I think that children enjoyed the slower pace.
9:26
[SPEAKER_01]: We had a fire, it was all like warm and cozy.
9:29
[SPEAKER_01]: and I would sit there by the fire and they'd all just like lay around me because they had to be able to show me all their work and it was just a sweet season.
9:35
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you're on bed rest and it's like that's just the way it is, you know like lighting a candle wearing some nice pajamas, braiding your hair, just and just sitting there and pulling the kids into you, that could be a season that is sweet for them.
9:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember when my mom had really bad
9:54
[SPEAKER_01]: at times and it was always a sweet time like we always were excited when mommy was just sitting there She was such a doer and so it ended up being a blessing to us kids Me like oh, well, maybe she'll read to me or maybe she'll visit her Maybe she'll just do these things because it just she was so stalled out and slow It's kind of seen how can this bless my home instead of
10:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, how can I survive this and it changes our mentality?
10:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yeah, I mean, that is so inspiring here.
10:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're truly was a shift in your overall demeanor and countenance from the first, I mean, it's not like you were unbearable to be around, you know, those first six children in the first trimester.
10:31
[SPEAKER_00]: But there was an attitude of just, for both of us, oh, we just get through this, right?
10:37
[SPEAKER_00]: It's fine to 12 weeks, 12 weeks of just kind of,
10:40
[SPEAKER_00]: getting through.
10:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, like I never resented that at all, because it's not like you were doing nothing.
10:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You were growing a baby, right?
10:50
[SPEAKER_00]: There was a very quantifiable thing that was happening.
10:53
[SPEAKER_00]: But to actually think about the rest of life and think about how, okay, sure, I'm growing a baby and that is incredible.
11:00
[SPEAKER_00]: But simply lighting a candle can actually go along ways.
11:04
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not, when you have an all or nothing mindset in many areas of life,
11:08
[SPEAKER_00]: That it can be very detrimental and I think that you started realizing all these tiny little things can really bless our home And I'm capable of doing that while still enduring this nausea.
11:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and it really yeah, it made it an enjoyable time and So anyways
11:24
[SPEAKER_01]: That kind of leads into another myth and that is being pregnant short changes your current relationship with your current children is probably one of the biggest fears that I had when it came to having more children is feeling like well I'm not going to be the mother that I usually am to my other children that are here already and so therefore by me taking a
11:47
[SPEAKER_01]: energy, and pouring it into a life in my womb, I am taking the energy from the other kids that I have.
11:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I should probably just call it when it comes to growing new life and take care of the life that God's already given me.
11:59
[SPEAKER_01]: And there is a stewardship concept that is important.
12:03
[SPEAKER_01]: We are supposed to steward what God has given, but also God often gives us more than what we can steward in our own control because that is where we are forced to depend on him.
12:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think often this stewardship conversation, we like to stick, I'll speak for myself, I like to stick very much within my comfort zone.
12:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Say, like, this is how much I can steward.
12:26
[SPEAKER_01]: This is how much bandwidth I have.
12:29
[SPEAKER_01]: And really, I don't need too much of a little God's grace to get that done, is how it feels sometimes.
12:35
[SPEAKER_01]: And I wouldn't say that, but that's how I act.
12:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And what's funny is every time that you get outside
12:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's really beautiful to see how when the Lord gives you another child, he is giving you that child in faith that you will steward it because he is capable of stewarding that child through you if we have that dependence on him.
13:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, I'm like trying to think of a way that I can relate to you on this because you just are.
13:06
[SPEAKER_00]: So you've gone through so much with each one of our children and you have grown into such new, like an incredible person with each child.
13:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And with this one, and it's like I can't relate to that.
13:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't relate to the bearing children, you know, to carrying them and growing them and then delivering them through labor.
13:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm just I'm amazed.
13:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I can relate to like I'm gonna say you to or I think just like my limiting beliefs around Oh, this child needs this I can only give it this under these circumstances and I've been blown away when how Like when I actually my heart is turned towards and now this is like okay How do you quantify that my heart's turned towards my children, but I feel like the Lord's actually done that for me Where my heart is turned towards my children in a way where
13:54
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't take 30 minutes or it doesn't take an hour or it doesn't take this very particular situation.
14:00
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, wow, just they know I care.
14:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's just the response that they have to them at the dinner table or when I get home from work or when I'm tucking them in, there's a,
14:10
[SPEAKER_00]: big time connectivity, I've been just more and more realizing that, you know, there are these things that I think have been preached by society, but it's like, I'll see beer, beer, billboards, saying like, beer commercial.
14:24
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like that's spend more time with your kids, and it's like it's such a good sentiment, right?
14:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And we know that there's a lot of fatherless children and that's a tragedy.
14:35
[SPEAKER_00]: But time spent with your children doesn't automatically equal discipleship or doesn't automatically equal meaning for relationship and positive influence, and furthermore, time spent away from your children doesn't always mean negative things too, right?
14:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we just know from history if a man was out being godly, that had a great impact on his children.
14:57
[SPEAKER_00]: The reputation their legacy like and so I'm not saying you should never spend time with your children or you should always spend time with your children.
15:03
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like what are you doing when you are with your children and where is your heart when you are with your children?
15:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, and I've just witnessed that in you and it's been really inspiring
15:13
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, the Voper in these good academy fall competition is happening in October.
15:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's still time to sign up and get prepared to compete in this year's competition.
15:21
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to, okay, you don't have to compete in this year's competition.
15:25
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's a really inspirational thing to even observe in the community.
15:28
[SPEAKER_00]: There are so many kids that put a ton of time.
15:30
[SPEAKER_00]: and energy into preparing two pieces to perform for the competition and real life prize money is rewarded for the top five in each H category.
15:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's another thing.
15:41
[SPEAKER_00]: If you are somebody that's a musician this happened last year, your musician you take lessons from somebody else and you're like, I want to be a part of this competition.
15:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Guess what?
15:48
[SPEAKER_00]: You can be a part of the competition.
15:49
[SPEAKER_00]: You can join there's a coupon below, you can join Voper, you can use Academy,
15:52
[SPEAKER_00]: You can compete.
15:53
[SPEAKER_00]: That's something that was really inspiring to all of the Voperative Music Academy students is they got to see musicians that weren't normally a part of the group calls, a part of the live coaching calls, come join the competition.
16:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So, it's for anybody and everybody, all ages, not all instruments, it's for piano, fiddle, guitar, ukulele, and mandolin, as well as collaboration.
16:14
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I guess actually, you can play any instruments in the collaboration division because that's like a band competition.
16:20
[SPEAKER_00]: But check the link below, you'll get a 20% discount for each month that you are enrolled.
16:24
[SPEAKER_00]: If you use that coupon code and you'll be able to be one of the competitors this year.
16:29
[SPEAKER_00]: See you over there.
16:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's been inspiring and new too.
16:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I've grown in that together because every time we have a new child, your responsibility increases for sure and your duty towards them and their life and shepherding them and leading them and providing for them and giving them everything they need.
16:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And they've got needs, we've got a lot of boys and they look to you for a lot of things and our daughter looks to you for a lot of things and so absolutely.
16:56
[SPEAKER_01]: You feel that pressure probably more than I do and every time we add a new life into our home and so it really is a trust.
17:08
[SPEAKER_01]: that the Lord will provide and we will work our faces off for him, but then trusting him with the increase in that and being open to that.
17:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And so anyways, I just, I really think it's possible that going through different seasons of pregnancy and having another life, it's not going to short change the children that you have.
17:31
[SPEAKER_01]: that doesn't mean that it can't.
17:33
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it very much can and there are children you will notice this in families.
17:37
[SPEAKER_01]: I noticed this in big families.
17:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Great up where some of my friends did not want kids.
17:42
[SPEAKER_01]: They did not want a lot of kids or like maybe one or two.
17:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And some of them their reasons were financial.
17:48
[SPEAKER_01]: They felt like they got short-change financially.
17:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Some of them, they felt like they were the mother in the situation, and so their mom still wasn't taking that motherly role, even if she was feeling under the weather and just dumped everything off on our older girls or something like that.
18:05
[SPEAKER_01]: So there are, or she was just an attempt to version of herself, an angry version of herself, a short version of herself, and my friends didn't want to be that way.
18:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And I didn't want to be that way either.
18:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, that's not the mother.
18:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to be for my child if Lord blesses me with kids.
18:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Is angry or emotional or unkempt.
18:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think our first, the devil tries to use, maybe a little bit of that truth, that we shouldn't be that way.
18:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And say, well, yeah, you should stop having kids.
18:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you'll be a gracious mom.
18:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you'll be always put together.
18:45
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you'll,
18:46
[SPEAKER_01]: just radiate charm and love towards your children, but that's not the truth either.
18:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we really just need God's righteousness in all of it, and he can give that regardless of what our bandwidth is.
18:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I couldn't agree more when it comes to looking at other examples.
19:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And they might even blame their shortcomings on the children, the husbands or the wife, right?
19:09
[SPEAKER_00]: The father or the mother, which in reality, again, is such a scheme of the devil.
19:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Because any of us, the best thing that the Lord can do for us is give us children because it takes away more more of our ability to be selfish.
19:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you see people's, it's like their selfishness, or my selfishness is highlighted through children.
19:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not my children's fault, right, at all.
19:34
[SPEAKER_00]: It's my selfishness.
19:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It's me.
19:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It's my sin.
19:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And the greatest gift here on this earth, though.
19:40
[SPEAKER_00]: But we can experience is it's like freedom from sin and right relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ that we have because of what He's done on our behalf, on the cross.
19:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And the more that that sin is revealed, the more we have an opportunity to walk freed from it.
19:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that it's a gift like when the Lord reveals more shortcomings in our heart.
19:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we know that we can, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we,
20:02
[SPEAKER_00]: were overcomeers through him like he's conquered that sin.
20:05
[SPEAKER_00]: He's, you know, given us a victory over that sin.
20:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And so when we don't view those things as shortcomings and we view it as like, oh, it's the kids fault.
20:13
[SPEAKER_00]: That's actually why I'm acting this way or that's the circumstances fault.
20:18
[SPEAKER_00]: We're really
20:20
[SPEAKER_00]: short-changing ourselves.
20:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we're definitely short-changing the people that were around, right, our spouse.
20:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think we're being obedient to the Lord.
20:26
[SPEAKER_00]: But we're short-changing ourselves, too, by not acknowledging it as a sin.
20:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And then realizing, oh, now that I've acknowledged it, I can walk free from that, walk free from that.
20:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And this happens a lot in Christianity is we will never call something sin because who knows why.
20:42
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, it's a result from our childhood or it's our circumstance or it's because somebody said this and then they did this to me.
20:48
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why
20:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And we think that we're doing that person a favor because we don't want them to feel bad for this negative attribute when really because it's a they're a victim of something, right?
20:59
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why they have this attribute.
21:01
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not doing them a favor calling it what it is and saying this is a sin that it's not you're not stuck there.
21:08
[SPEAKER_00]: You identify and they say oh great now that I see that it's a sin this is not right.
21:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I can walk freed from I can repent from it.
21:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to be bound by this if we if we always
21:19
[SPEAKER_00]: look to things as an excuse, you know, or as being the reason we're acting a certain way rather than our sinful nature, then we're ripping ourselves off from an opportunity to walk free from that.
21:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, absolutely.
21:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think something that really puts this in perspective, especially over the last year for me, is just studying incredible Christians throughout history.
21:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And you see what God has brought them through and the supernatural grace he has used.
21:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, just starting with the life of Christ.
21:47
[SPEAKER_01]: When you look at how full of suffering his life was and just like hanging over his head, what he's going to do, what he's here for, you look at his mother,
21:55
[SPEAKER_01]: that all the times she's having to give up her child and then he dies and you're like, what?
22:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I was called a fool for what?
22:04
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I said I'm the mother of Jesus.
22:07
[SPEAKER_01]: He's the son of God and now who looks crazy.
22:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, she was called a lot worse than a fool.
22:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, totally.
22:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And you look at the apostles what they were called to.
22:17
[SPEAKER_01]: You look at the early Christian martyrs.
22:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I know there's martyrs today, but studying the early Christian martyrs
22:24
[SPEAKER_01]: the horrors that they went through.
22:26
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's just all throughout history.
22:29
[SPEAKER_01]: There's so many people that have remained so faithful to Christ and had such a beautiful sweet testimony and savor, going up to him like this, a true living sacrifice.
22:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, that's why I want to be his mother.
22:43
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to be a living sacrifice holy and acceptable to God.
22:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And if every day feels like a sacrifice, that's beautiful.
22:54
[SPEAKER_01]: like that's a beautiful perfume to lift to our savior.
22:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And so anyways I think it just really puts in perspective like oh my little problems down here on earth are not worth saying I have an excuse for sin when there have been people fall in humans that have walked in just incredible grace because of their closeness with their savior.
23:15
[SPEAKER_01]: So I want to grow to that so so badly and
23:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
23:24
[SPEAKER_01]: All things you're possible with God.
23:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
23:28
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to get kind of practical here with a couple.
23:31
[SPEAKER_01]: One pregnancy gets progressively harder as it progresses.
23:34
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a myth that I bought into for a long time and so I thought, well, if I'm feeling aches and pains at this stage, then it's just going to be worse in 10 weeks.
23:42
[SPEAKER_01]: And there have been two times now in pregnancies where
23:47
[SPEAKER_01]: by God's grace, I've been able to totally reverse those aches and pains.
23:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that just gives me a lot of confidence now and moving forward that some things can change when you change your inputs.
24:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And so for instance, with this pregnancy, it 26 weeks, all of a sudden my back pain was there.
24:07
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, what?
24:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, my belly had just started to kind of like,
24:11
[SPEAKER_01]: pull out and throw out my back.
24:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, this is too early to feel this bad.
24:16
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like walking hurts, everything hurts.
24:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was, I was like, with line all with my, what was he fifth?
24:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm sorry.
24:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Sorry.
24:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Because my back was really bad the last one.
24:30
[SPEAKER_01]: But we were in the tent, and I just, and didn't do anything about it.
24:35
[SPEAKER_01]: But with my fifth, I was like, I remember lifting weights because I felt really bad at 20 weeks and it reversed the pain and it seems kind of counterintuitive because I hadn't been lifting any weights and it seems like, well, if I lift weights, I'm going to throw my back out more.
24:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not talking like a dumbbell, I'm talking like 10 pound weights.
24:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And like a barbell, I mean, not a barbell.
24:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, what's a dumbbell?
24:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think you use a little dumbbell.
24:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I do use an dumbbell.
24:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
24:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
24:59
[SPEAKER_01]: little dumbbells.
25:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow, the patronizing muscle man over here.
25:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Sorry.
25:06
[SPEAKER_02]: They are in the very little.
25:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Compared to what you use.
25:09
[SPEAKER_01]: So I started doing that the first two days after that.
25:15
[SPEAKER_01]: If I didn't have confidence that this was the right thing to do because I did it before, I would have been like, I totally jacked up my body.
25:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I felt worse, I could barely get up the stairs.
25:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like rolling out a bed, like so sore.
25:27
[SPEAKER_01]: This is not medical advice.
25:30
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you throw out your own back, don't blame me, okay?
25:33
[SPEAKER_01]: And talk to someone about it.
25:35
[SPEAKER_01]: But after four days, I just kept going.
25:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And now, I'm in my 30s, like my 30 weeks chunk here, and I have zero back pain.
25:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, like zero.
25:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm lifting weights four days a week, and then walking three.
25:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's just a game changer for me.
25:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I guess to know that if I feel bad at a certain stage in pregnancy, it's not like it has to get progressively worse.
26:03
[SPEAKER_01]: If I don't do anything at will,
26:08
[SPEAKER_00]: well again I can't relate to being pregnant okay and going through this but I do remember I had a rash on my neck and I had cauliflower ear and I had a broken rib okay that was a bad winter right and again I'm not gonna equate this to pregnancy I'm just trying to find a way to
26:27
[SPEAKER_02]: You'd be shoving needles in his ears, trying to put blood out.
26:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you'd be trying to drain the cauliflower or me, it didn't work, but that is, I was like, this is only, like this is just gonna be bad until it gets until it's done, till we're through with this.
26:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Wasn't it?
26:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I started doing some like random back extra sizes, you know, and then I started, you know, like working out the other parts of my body and it made everything else better.
26:52
[SPEAKER_02]: It's true.
26:53
[SPEAKER_02]: So I never, like, I never had a baby at the end.
26:55
[SPEAKER_02]: A wrap around his chin, like, what's his name, the, who's the kid in little rascals, the alpha alpha?
27:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you know, he has a toothache with the, that's right.
27:05
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like wrapped it every which way, on your head.
27:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, so that's the only thing I could think to like try to relate with you.
27:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And once I said it out loud, it actually didn't seem very relatable to what you and through.
27:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But anyway, I'm going to move on to the next one.
27:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I have nothing else to contribute.
27:22
[SPEAKER_01]: It's great.
27:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I also think, um...
27:25
[SPEAKER_01]: There's some that like if you're pelvic floor, that's a big area that gives out during pregnancy.
27:31
[SPEAKER_01]: If you start fast walking, that can actually really strengthen your pelvic floor and you start squatting.
27:37
[SPEAKER_01]: That can really start strengthening your pelvic floor while you're currently pregnant.
27:40
[SPEAKER_01]: So I guess some like rehab,
27:43
[SPEAKER_01]: you can do while you're pregnant.
27:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think it's a myth that you have to wait till you're done being pregnant to then start like rehabbing some of these things that can kind of fall apart when we've got this leverage in strange places or this body weight kind of can't deliver it out there.
27:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, but...
27:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been very blessed.
28:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's worth a shot to try to do some of that during pregnancy, and I would encourage women to do that.
28:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Another one is, and this is physical too, but that you can't lose weight or build muscle tone while pregnant.
28:14
[SPEAKER_01]: So you like can't work on body composition while you're pregnant.
28:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And I really just thought that whatever happens happens, and then when you're done being pregnant, then you kind of have to put it all back together.
28:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think why that was kind of a terrifying thought to me is there's a potential,
28:34
[SPEAKER_01]: in our in our world of getting pregnant very quickly.
28:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I've talked with many other moms that also get their fertility back very quickly and it's a scary thought for them because you go through this process of gaining weight and losing muscle tone during pregnancy and you're kind of terrified
28:54
[SPEAKER_01]: if you don't know how long like you don't know if you're in have a great recovery period on the other side of that or if it's just going to start stacking up and you kind of see start seeing your health debt load maybe increase and so it's just kind of a scary thought so I want to encourage you this was just really
29:11
[SPEAKER_01]: life changing.
29:12
[SPEAKER_01]: It hopes filling for me, I guess, to see that, oh, you can do everything, like if to do it in a little different way, if to do very conscientious about the baby, but you could do everything health related that you would do non-pregnant pregnant.
29:27
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you have a bunch of extra weight, that the baby is not medium, so we really need weight to keep the baby alive healthy.
29:36
[SPEAKER_01]: and to be able to learn well in breast feed at the end.
29:39
[SPEAKER_01]: So there is a certain amount of fat that we need.
29:41
[SPEAKER_01]: But anything extra, that baby is not meeting.
29:45
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's not like we need to keep it around.
29:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we are drinking a lot of water or we're being intentional with our eating and we're eating high protein and start cutting out the sugars and the carbs and things like that.
29:58
[SPEAKER_01]: then we can actually not continue gaining weight at the same pace that maybe we needed to for our first baby or something like that.
30:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember talking to my aunt who was pregnant with I think her ninth or tenth and she had been a lot over her weight that she had wanted to be when she got pregnant and she was in her third trimester and she told me Katie all I have done different is walked this pregnancy and I haven't gained a single pound in fact I have lost weight.
30:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it was like her body just was able to balance out while she was still pregnant and that was like a real gift to her.
30:30
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's that and also building muscle tone while pregnant.
30:34
[SPEAKER_01]: This is something that
30:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I haven't taken advantage of it all my pregnancies, but it's really helpful to be able to, again, going back to those weights or things like that, build muscle tone when you are pregnant, because it makes you recovery easier on the other side, it helps you like support the baby and be ready to hold the baby when the baby comes, and this isn't possible for everyone because, again, you might have really low energy.
31:00
[SPEAKER_01]: or you might be in bed for a lot of months or like this is just not a possibility.
31:05
[SPEAKER_01]: But if it is a possibility for you, it's something that I really encourage because it is going to make your recovery is a lot better and it's going to...
31:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, just make you not feel like you're up on Jack's waiting to be able to have the baby to then be able to do this stuff.
31:22
[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't know.
31:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I just thought I was maybe in a holding pattern with my health until after having the baby.
31:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I realize I'm not at all.
31:34
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been so inspiring.
31:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's all I can say after each point, I'm like, you're right, you are you're like a different person.
31:42
[SPEAKER_01]: don't.
31:42
[SPEAKER_01]: This is, yeah, this is.
31:45
[SPEAKER_01]: There are people that are like ripped during their pregnancies and like all that.
31:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I am not an extreme case of anything.
31:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
31:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you are.
31:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I am like average Jane that like lifts 10 pound weights and calls that a day.
31:58
[SPEAKER_01]: But it makes you feel a lot better.
32:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Another myth that I think is culturally, very populated is that being pregnant is going to harm your marriage or your marriage is going to be more romantic and rewarding and all those things if you can just get out of this season of pregnancy and it is true, okay, it is true.
32:17
[SPEAKER_01]: That at some point a baby comes between you and your spouse.
32:22
[SPEAKER_01]: The belly gets big enough.
32:24
[SPEAKER_02]: It gives a lot of shock.
32:25
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just a very physical boundary.
32:28
[SPEAKER_02]: But also, it's kind of sweet.
32:30
[SPEAKER_00]: A totally sweet.
32:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, again, this is all we've known.
32:34
[SPEAKER_00]: We literally were pregnant on our honey.
32:36
[SPEAKER_00]: We got pregnant on our honey moon.
32:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, we're 10 years in a marriage and we're pregnant with number seven, and it's been a blast.
32:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I've just, I've only loved our marriage and I can't distinguish between the like non-pregnant seasons and the pregnancy seasons.
32:54
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just all been good, you right?
32:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there's been a lot of variation.
32:59
[SPEAKER_01]: It's funny, though, because I picture that.
33:01
[SPEAKER_01]: There was a period of time, I think, after our fourth, where we put a lot of stock and going on this Hawaii trip.
33:06
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right.
33:07
[SPEAKER_01]: If you guys have listened to the podcast for a long time, you'll know around when this happens.
33:12
[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't know, don't fact check me on this, where we were at, with her.
33:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we were at, I think it was at number four.
33:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so it's like, it was after number four.
33:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd wind.
33:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I was feeling like fit and healthy.
33:24
[SPEAKER_01]: We were going to Hawaii, and we just had so much stock
33:29
[SPEAKER_01]: We are like young and romantic and foot-loose and fancy-free, and this is going to be our best vacation ever.
33:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, for whatever reason, maybe maybe I think I turned 30 that year.
33:41
[SPEAKER_00]: We, I don't know what else was going on in my life, but I was really starting to feel like, oh man, the, our youth is fleeting, like we're not fulloose and fancy-free anymore, the romance isn't what it used to be, but this trip, this will fix everything.
33:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, that was, that was one of those pregnancies we just got through.
34:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's why.
34:00
[SPEAKER_01]: That was when we did our first birth control episode here on the podcast.
34:05
[SPEAKER_01]: It was when I was pregnant with baby number four.
34:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
34:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that right?
34:08
[SPEAKER_00]: We're like, we're questioning everything.
34:11
[SPEAKER_02]: We've changed your minds on birth control.
34:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's, I think there are some good methods out there.
34:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's the beautiful thing about just getting through season sometimes, right?
34:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we keep staying faithful, getting through it, like, even if you do, you know, endure a season.
34:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, there's good times to come, and that's what's wild about like the human brain, it really does, like, forget, you know, like, I don't remember that.
34:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I, I, I, we didn't have a bed set up downstairs.
34:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that right?
34:36
[SPEAKER_00]: We were like sleeping upstairs on a mattress?
34:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
34:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
34:39
[SPEAKER_01]: That was that pregnancy.
34:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
34:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
34:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I remember that.
34:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, again,
34:43
[SPEAKER_01]: It was just like a particularly challenging pregnancy.
34:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I felt like I had all the wrong mindsets for that pregnancy.
34:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I was buying all the mess.
34:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I just need to get through this.
34:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I need to not be pregnant.
34:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Then we're in a good marriage.
34:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Then I'm going to be a good mom.
34:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't doing anything for my health.
34:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I was swollen.
35:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I was in pain.
35:01
[SPEAKER_01]: I was just uncomfortable.
35:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, on the other side of this, I'll take care of it.
35:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we did, we did all those things and, like, just, we'll jump to the point, Hawaii was like the worst trip we've ever been on, we really redeemed it like the last two days.
35:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't you think?
35:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, but the first few days were rough.
35:21
[SPEAKER_01]: The first few days was like, I think it's so many expectations on this trip, and I know for myself, I was in a very selfish place at that point.
35:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Me too.
35:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I just wanted to be happy and part of that was a life should being happy because I'm not going to be a happy married person without my favorite person Mean happy, but it's like, but I wanted it to be on my terms and I wanted a feel good and look good and have a happy marriage And it was just a lot of demands to make Very selfish, so And I contrast that to a life tonight.
35:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I have both wanted to go to New York for a really long time
36:00
[SPEAKER_01]: And we were both convicted about completely opening our room to the Lord in like an over winter or something like that.
36:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And part of us was like, you know what, we should probably wait until after this New York trip that we're going on.
36:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I didn't want to be pregnant on the New York trip.
36:20
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
36:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
36:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't want to be nauseous.
36:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And I didn't, I wanted to wear, you know, dresses that I felt good in.
36:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't want to have a bait, baby bump.
36:30
[SPEAKER_01]: and the Lord blessed us with this baby that we're pregnant with and I was at the end of my first trimester on the New York trip just a little bit nauseous so that was the gift I wasn't too nauseous had a little bump on on my belly and it was our best vacation I've ever had oh yeah that was so good I mean you were so so gracious to be
36:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, again, a lot of the food that maybe you would've been willing to try, it's like, you know, we're kind of off limits because of the nausea.
36:58
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's like, it didn't matter.
37:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it just did not matter.
37:02
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so much fun.
37:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
37:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was just like, I think our perspective, we were so like, we want what the Lord has, we want to enjoy each other and like we aren't going to wait for the perfect time to enjoy each other.
37:14
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to wait till, you know, the perfect time to have a baby, we are going to wait till the perfect time anymore.
37:20
[SPEAKER_01]: We're just going to really enjoy kind of like an ecclesiasties view on life, I guess.
37:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it's, it's all vanity.
37:27
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to enjoy eating and drinking tonight and enjoy each other and see what the Lord has.
37:32
[SPEAKER_01]: But that's like really all we can do and sometimes holding on to things so tight-fisted and trying to control it all is just something that really saps all the fun.
37:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, and so it was just such a free and fun trip and it wasn't like oh this would have been more fun if I wasn't pregnant because we just like We're over that we'd let that go.
37:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean that's just really how we've approached the last few months in general is a
37:57
[SPEAKER_00]: is like, what the Lord would have, and it is just so liberating and freeing, I didn't realize how much fear had been dictating my thinking and then therefore my actions, yeah, even around pregnancies and children, and it was always what if, what if our other children know good enough love, what if
38:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Your health, you know, doesn't hold up for this pregnancy.
38:21
[SPEAKER_00]: What if, like, I go on and on and on, if we can't financially provide, what if it's like just so much fear, rather than, like, the board knows exactly what he's doing, and I trust him way more than myself.
38:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so anyways, I think that's probably one end on.
38:42
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think there's a lot of mess around pregnancy, some are physical, some are spiritual.
38:48
[SPEAKER_01]: They've all crept into the church.
38:50
[SPEAKER_01]: They've all crept into, I think the medical system even just this fear-based approach to, there are a lot of variables in pregnancy.
39:00
[SPEAKER_01]: But the nice thing is, as we do have a lot of metrics now, to be able to gauge health.
39:06
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I just got my blood work back, and that was a gift, you know, the advice that we're like, we don't have to talk about a single thing, it all looks great.
39:13
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, so it's like, that's encouraging, and so you're able to move forward making wise decisions, I think, on the health side with these markers that we have, and then also on the relational side, around the spiritual side, it's just very freeing to be like, well, if God has given this, it is a good thing.
39:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that that's something that,
39:33
[SPEAKER_01]: We've talked about before, but I want to highlight even in marriage.
39:36
[SPEAKER_01]: The fruit, children are the fruit of marriage.
39:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And the fruit is not going to harm the tree.
39:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Like a tree that produces abundant fruit is a gift.
39:48
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a gift to the tree.
39:49
[SPEAKER_01]: You want to be a tree that produces abundant fruit.
39:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not just saying, you know, the Lord Blessing with a lot of children, that may or may not be the fruit that he chooses to give a particular couple.
39:59
[SPEAKER_01]: But...
40:00
[SPEAKER_01]: just a tree that's full.
40:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know if a branch cracks off because there's too much fruit on it, that's probably God's design and pruning that branch anyways.
40:08
[SPEAKER_01]: It should in a stuck around.
40:09
[SPEAKER_01]: It was dead.
40:10
[SPEAKER_01]: It wasn't, it wasn't worth it.
40:12
[SPEAKER_01]: It wasn't doing the job right there.
40:14
[SPEAKER_01]: So.
40:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep, I couldn't agree more, Katie.
40:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, you know, when we're not advocates of living recklessly and being foolish and flippant with children, that's not what I'm saying.
40:27
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not fearful of things anymore.
40:29
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think what we realized is whether or not we're being obedient or whether or not we're pursuing purpose and oneness with the Lord.
40:40
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to die.
40:41
[SPEAKER_00]: There's health crisis are going to arise with talk about this before survival is not the goal.
40:47
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't fabricate.
40:50
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't architect the life that is going to insulate you from pain and death, right?
41:01
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all going to happen.
41:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we want to pursue obedience and we want to pursue faith and we want to live in faith.
41:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, we're not trying to pursue recklessness.
41:11
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not trying to pursue flippancy with our children with your womb.
41:19
[SPEAKER_00]: We want to pursue obedience, knowing that, yeah.
41:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Circumstances could really be challenging.
41:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Circumstances could be an ideal, but we'd weigh rather be contriped before the Lord and submitted to His will and be in those situations than trying to manhandle everything and control it and have be in better circumstances or be in worse circumstances at that point.
41:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it doesn't matter, you're on the outside of the Lord's will.
41:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's kind of our heart, I think, with all that.
41:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we'd much rather be carrying the load of the Lord's will, like those burdens and pains that he's allowing in our life because that's when his yoks easy as burdens light.
41:59
[SPEAKER_01]: He can carry that for us.
42:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Then be outside care of his will, caring for the own burdens and pains we put on ourselves.
42:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Because that's when we don't have his help.
42:08
[SPEAKER_00]: exactly and just that's kind of I think what the points you are trying to make which when we are trying to schedule pregnancies and schedule our our vacations and do according to our calendar it just was so forced and it was there's no peace in our marriage and I think we are just outside of trusting the Lord in those situations.
42:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Folks thank you so much for listening and I'll talk to you next time.
42:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Bye.
42:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Bye.