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On being led astray 😔 by therapists · An ASMR Practice

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Alright, let me try to keep this brief, guys.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: But, um, I just want to give, like, some excerpts
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: from all the therapists I've ever had and the ways
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: in which they've led me astray. Um, because everyone's like, oh,
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: you need a professional, you need a professional, you need
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: a professional. Okay, um, this is what the professionals are saying.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: The first professional said, I was like, I was like, girl, I,
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: I think I have, like, perhaps some, like, addiction. I
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: was like, girl, I, girl, I, I want to stop
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: using nicotine, but I don't want to, like, be eating hella, like,
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: I just don't, like, I think, like, the discomfort of
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: eating too much is, like, way worse, in my opinion, than, like,
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: the discomfort of, like, a little bit of a buzz,
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: just a little buzz, like, it's literally not even that deep, and, um,
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: And her advice was, she was like, have you tried
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: putting your hands in cold water? I was like, is
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: this the freaking Titanic Museum? Is this the literal Titanic Museum?
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: And so I did try it. I did try it.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: And then ultimately I was like, I'm taking a bath.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Because why would I put my hands in cold water? Like,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: I'm just feeling cold now. My hands are, like, kind
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: of cold, guys. Like, what? Literally, what? And, okay, so
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: my second therapist. This one, listen, I had some intense feelings.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: I had some intense feelings for a guy that I
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: wasn't supposed to, it would seem. And I was like,
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: I was like, girl, this is like, this is just,
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: it's really heavy on my chest. It's really, really, it's
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: really extremely heavy on my chest. I was like, I just,
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: I just kind of want to tell him. And I, like,
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: I don't think we're even going to act on it. Honestly, like,
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: and it would be extremely unethical. And I don't, I
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: was like, what if I just said something kind of casual? Like,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: you're kind of handsome. And this therapist, she freaked the
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: fuck out. Oh, Carlos. That sounded like way bigger steps
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: than Carlos. This therapist, I think I have to whisper.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I got yelled at because I was being too loud
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: like three rooms over. So, I think I might have
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: to whisper. Um, this therapist, she like, she yelled at me.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: She literally fucking lost her shit at me. Um, She was.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: Like, not only is this the stupidest idea ever to
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: get something that's really weighing on you off your chest.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: She was like, you're a bad person. She was like,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: and you know, I'm trying to make my case. I'm like,
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: come on now.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: I was like, but I was like, dude, I'm like
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: thinking about it constantly. I was like, I'm feeling a little, like, obsessed.
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: I was like, what if I just told him? And
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: she was like, no, girl, you can't. She was like,
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: you can't.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: You're a bad person if you say how you feel.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: This was my therapist. And also, this freaking lady. This
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: freaking lady also... oh, I told her some, like, stuff
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: that happened that was, like, kind of traumatic, traumatic, it
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: was kind of traumatic, and she was, like, she was, like, girl,
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: this is, like, she was, like, this happens to, like,
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: almost everyone, she was, like, you're, like, literally not alone, and, like,
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Just consider all the people that this has happened to
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: in addition to you. And so I'm immediately like.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: Oh boy.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: Oh boy. I'm like, okay, okay, okay. So now it's
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: like every person I meet, I'm like, they have the
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: same job. They have the same thing going on.
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: And I was like, I guess we're not supposed to
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: talk about it.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: And, uh, yeah. Somebody has the Zoom files. Go ahead
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: and send them my way if you do have them.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: I would like to revisit these conversations. I don't have them.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: My understanding is this is private information, okay? And, like,
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: a lot of things are supposed to be private, it
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: would seem, so... um this is just this is what
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: we are this is what we do it's not an
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: easy life but this is our life um and so
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: third therapist said I said I was like you know
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: my partner is like kind of being a little verbally
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: abusive because like I've told him multiple times I'm like
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: if you're gonna talk to me you gotta turn the
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: volume on the tv down because like you're blasting the
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: freaking tv in here girl and like And it wasn't
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: a girl, but whatever. We're going to call him girl
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: because he's a freaking girl.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: And like, okay, no, no, he's a boy.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Okay. He's a fucking idiot. I was like, please, I.
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: Just need you to turn the freaking TV down while
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: you're talking so I can hear you.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: It's just like kind of a lot going on. Because
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: he's like, he's just like cracked out of his mind.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: He's just like really into gambling. Like he's like extremely
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: into gambling. And, you know, it's like at all times
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: he was watching like literally gambling streams on his freaking phone.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: He was literally watching gambling streams. Which is kind of
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: where I get a lot of my like verbal cues from.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Because it was just like the background noise of my life.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: It was the, it was the, it was the, it
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: was the back, it was the back noise machine. Okay.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Of my freaking life for like a couple of years. And, um,
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: and so he'd be blasting this crap and trying to
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: talk to me and I'd be like, I can't focus.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: And then he would be like verbally berating me because
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: like I couldn't focus and I would have to ask
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: him to repeat himself. and i told i told my
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: therapist this this therapist was actually probably one of the
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: better ones maybe i don't know i mean ultimately i
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: stopped going because actually i do remember she was like
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: I told her some shit that happened and I was like,
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: and she was like, did you tell your mom? And
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: I was like, no, I'm not. You don't understand. You
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: don't understand. I made my whole case and she was like, well,
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: I think you have to tell your mom. And I
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: was like, girl, no, I'm not doing that. I'm literally
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: not doing that. I'm literally not doing that. I think
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: I would rather die. I think I would actually rather
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: die than do that. If I'm just completely honest. Um.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: She can come ask me about it. She can hear
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: through the grapevine. I don't really care.
• 8:35
  Speaker 6: But.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: It's the last thing I want to do. Because I've
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: seen how these mothers behave. And. They're in cahoots. With
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: the whole freaking village. They're literally in cahoots. With the
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: entire village. And like. they're not respecting, they're not respecting
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: the fact that, like, I have feelings, and that I'm
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: a person, like, I'm literally just a person, and that
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: I didn't ask for any of this shit to happen
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: to me, so, um, why, why, what is she gonna
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: do about it? My understanding is it's just going to
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: make her really sad or something. And then there's going
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: to be cahoots with the whole village. And so I'm
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: coming directly to the village. And I'm here to say
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: that that was bad advice. And I actually received word
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: from my gambling aunt. Just kidding. She's not a gambler.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: She's a healer. My healer aunt. Told me, um... Actually,
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: I think it might be crossfiring. I think my shit
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: might be crossfiring right now. I think, um... I think
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: he might have been someone else. I'm not sure. I
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: think one person was like, go talk to your brother.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: And one person was like, I think I just ended
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: up talking to this other person about it. And I
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: don't know if that was like the wrong decision. I
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: guess I could have at least tried the therapist's advice,
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: but I didn't want to, and I don't think I
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: should have to do things I don't want to do.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: I think, like, that's my understanding, is that if you
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: don't want to do something, like, you shouldn't have to.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: And I'm going to get a job one day, okay?
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: People are like, am I allowed to heal? Am I
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: allowed to literally just heal and talk it out? Am
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: I literally allowed to do that? And I'm done consulting people.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: I'm done. Actually, I have one person I plan to consult. Maybe.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I think I'm just like helping them out.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: And who knows what will happen. Who knows. I'm going
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: to help this person out. And I think they have
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: a lot of wisdom. And I'm hoping they don't ask
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: too many questions. I'm hoping we can just be giggle girls.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with being a giggle girl. There really isn't.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: I think it's, like, I think, like, being, like, listen,
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: I don't think y'all are gonna like this. I'm sorry, guys.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: I don't think all cops are bastards. I really don't.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: I don't think all of them are. Some of them,
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: and I understand that, like, some of them are okay, but, like,
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  Speaker 2: my understanding is there's different classifications for how they manage
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: this stuff. And some departments are, like, they, this is
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  Speaker 2: a known fact that they just, like, are more discriminatory.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: And they are, they're less regulated. They're less regulated, guys.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: We need more rules, I guess. Somebody, somebody, uh, it
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  Speaker 2: can't be me. I don't want to make the cop rules.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: That has to be somebody else's decision. I don't want
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: it to be me. And, um... You know, at one
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: time I posed the question, okay, my last therapist was
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: a man, and I liked this guy. I was enjoying
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: this guy's vibe. I think he was just like, he
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: was like, yeah, if you don't think anything's wrong with you,
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: I don't think anything's wrong with you. Well, actually, I
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: was probably pretty stern with him. I was like, if
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: you tell me something's wrong with me, I'm gonna freaking,
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna freaking explode. Because this has just been my
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: whole freaking life. Oh my god. Oh my god. Call
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: it what you want, dude. Call it what you want.
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  Speaker 2: I'm just a girl. I'm just a being. I'm a
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: being and a person.
• 13:53
  Speaker 6: And, uh, I think I might have, like, I think I'm, like,
• 14:03
  Speaker 6: I think I might have like civil rights and civil liberties.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? Actually, I don't know that
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: civil rights are doing a whole lot for me personally.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: I think they're sort of designed for other people that
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: like are not privileged. That's my understanding. Civil rights are
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: different than liberties. If anybody didn't know that, liberties are
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: like freedoms. Rights are like what the government is doing
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: to intervene. Okay, so intervention is like sometimes good right
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: when the government's doing.
• 14:33
  Speaker 7: It but people i don't know i don't know i
• 14:41
  Speaker 7: don't think i don't think y'all i don't think y'all
• 14:44
  Speaker 7: are right in their head and.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: Um deal with it literally deal with this like go
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: to therapy I don't know if I'd recommend therapy, if
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: I'm honest. I'm trying to think. I think if you
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: want to go to therapy, go to therapy. And if
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: you don't, I would probably do something about the state
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: of your being. I think I like prayer. I find
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: prayer pretty helpful. I find chatting up The girlie is
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: pretty helpful. I find chatting up, you know, dudes sometimes
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: pretty healthy. I understand. Actually, I don't want to talk
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: about it. I sure don't even want to talk about it.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Somebody else is on it. I've seen like a million
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: podcasters talk about this. I'm done. This is stupid. Y'all
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: already freaking know. Men are like timid or something these
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: days because whatever. Me, I'm not naming any names. I'm
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: giving you all fake names. Because it's just not even
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: worth it. It's just not even worth it. So I
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: think therapy has led me astray in some ways. I
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: was like, I think I have ADHD because I can't
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: focus on what someone's saying when the TV is blaring.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: And she's like, that's not ADHD. That's like, you shouldn't
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: be expected to do all that. Like, this was a
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: helpful therapist, kind of. I think I liked our first
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: sessions more. It's just like the longer it went on,
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: it was like, okay. Okay, tell me something I don't know, lady. And, um....
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, there was another one. Dude, I did this. I
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: did this therapy session, and I was freaking out. I
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: did it in my workplace. Like, I think I... i
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: came in early and i was just like oh i'm
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: gonna just do my therapy.
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: They might have it on recording that's kind of scary because.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I was also having beef with this person in my
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: life and it's like i initiated this entire relationship essentially
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: there was a.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Coordinator involved um There were some parties involved.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, there was a train involved. You know, there were
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: lots of people who made this event happen. But, in
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: my opinion, I'm pretty sure it was, like, my desire that, like,
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: initiated this. It would seem my desires are quite powerful. Like...
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: I think my desires might be the most powerful of
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: anybody's ever. Um... They just keep manifesting. They just literally
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: keep manifesting. And then the haters, the haters are writing
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: manifestos and they're posting propaganda.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: And also the lovers.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: The lovers are writing poems, okay. The lovers are writing
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: poems and sending pics. And, um... They're. You know. They're
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: enjoying the show. I don't know what to say. I'm
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: a real character. I'm a real character. Depends who you ask.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: It would seem. And so. This shit is just like.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: A little silly. I think. And that's okay. It's literally okay.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: I'm making peace. I'm making peace. I do... Okay, this
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: is my biggest beef with my mom. I'm just gonna
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: get it off my chest. She named me. It was
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: a prayer. It was a prayer to God. She's probably crying,
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: begging to God, like, I need faith.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: She's like i just i just really need faith i
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: just really need faith.
• 19:54
  Speaker 8: Faith is a choice can anybody comprehend that faith is
• 20:00
  Speaker 8: a choice if you want to believe in something you
• 20:02
  Speaker 8: just do it belief is literally a choice.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: You literally just say, it's real. And then you use
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: your imaging faculty. It's literally just a choice, guys.
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: It's literally just a choice.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: Has anybody ever heard of just having faith?
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: Keeping the faith? Has anybody heard of it? I received
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: a message and no more.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying anymore. You get two. You have it
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: and you keep it. And it's pretty simple. I think
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: it's a pretty simple procedure. Like, you know, let's just
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: hang out, like, let's just talk a little bit, um,
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: appreciate what you have, um, believe what she says, to the,
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: you know, for the most part, I'm okay with being questioned, like,
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Just like, can they be good questions? Can they be
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: good questions? Or if you don't have questions, just make
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: me giggle. Just literally just make me giggle. It's pretty easy.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: It's pretty easy at this point. I'm like a giggle.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: I'm clocking into the giggle factory every day. I have
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: full faith in the giggle factory. Somebody. I don't want
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: to talk about them. I gotta go.
• 22:08
  Speaker 6: Bye.