Latest / The Wild Woman Within: Recover from Burnout & Achieve True Work-Life Balance Through Feminine Energy / 63| The Hidden Burnout of Caring for Aging Parents: What Nobody Tells You About Dementia

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63| The Hidden Burnout of Caring for Aging Parents: What Nobody Tells You About Dementia · The Wild Woman Within: Recover from Burnout & Achieve True Work-Life Balance Through Feminine Energy

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, hi.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: Hey.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: If you're new here, welcome to the Fitsin Project.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're not, you already know we don't play small around here.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Rachel, corporate project executive by day, yoga teacher and retreat host by passion, and a woman wildly committed to helping you stop outsourcing your power.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: This show is where structure meets soul, where we regulate the nervous system and scale the business, and where we stop pretending burnout is normal.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Quick love to the humans and brands that brought this show.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually use all these in real life.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Rage Create for bold creative entrepreneurs, Lotus and Luna, Lifeform Yoga Mat, and Breath Work with Tabitha De Bruin.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: She is a game changer.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Links are in the show notes.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Support the ones that support this work.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: And all right, let's get it.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about today.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Hey guys, all right, welcome to the FITSIN Project.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is here.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I hope you had a good weekend, right?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, always hope you have a good weekend, and not just saying that, I really, really do.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this Pest Weekend for me, I had my hometown wedding celebration.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: It was so cool to have both my and Josh's, all of our personalities under the same roof.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: It was a little bit overwhelming, but also like in a very, very good way.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: So that was very exciting, and I feel humbled and complete, and all the things in between.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: It was really neat to get to experience that.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: So wedding festivities are officially over, and now it's time to be married and life, I guess.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: So, but with that, I had all of my best friends in town, and it brings me to this incredible story today that I'm sharing with you with a dear friend of mine.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, his name is Alex Jones, and he lives out in Oregon.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: We were besties about 20 or so, a little bit longer years ago.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we worked together at the college program at Disney, well, Disney World in Florida.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: So if you know about it, you know, right?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, you know.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, this message that he's sharing today, I really hope you stay tuned through the whole entire thing because it is something that I feel our world, our culture, our just the entire existence just doesn't know enough about.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: And this disease that he's gonna speak through today is one of those that we need to genuinely pay attention to, right?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: And we need to s to notice the signs and we need to be able to be in service and be in stewardship of the people in our lives that are going through this.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and a lot of times don't know that that's what they're going through.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: So without further ado, I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I enjoyed having it.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: So here's Alex Jones.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: All right, all right, all right.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Here we go.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Alex Jones, welcome to the Fitsin Project.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so freaking happy to get to have this conversation with you today.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Man, I've been looking forward to this because uh just a little background.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Alex was my BFF, my numero Uno.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, 22 years ago.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: We're getting old, man.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: One year?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh all the way back in the Disney college program days.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: It was right around this time of year, too.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: We were probably like getting accepted.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, we were.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: My dad was like, You're never gonna do it.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know why you keep talking about it.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, done.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then they were like, Oh, you're texting.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh my god, I can't go now.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right out.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was a little nerve-wracking, I would have to admit that.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: It really was.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: And we had to like interview and everything for that.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: That was a it was a good time.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: It was pretty tough.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: It was tough.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like Disney's no joke.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, they set the standard for like every single business in the world.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, they do.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: I try to incorporate their practices in what I do too.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let's talk about that.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: What is it that you do?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so um a little bit of background.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I come from a banking background for a really long time, right?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I was in banking for like 15 years.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, often say I'm a recovering banker.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I mean, it's a lot of great tools and things.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: I've I'm very thankful for for that past career.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but now I'm doing a uh dementia care training and I work uh at adult day center where we take care of seniors uh mostly with dementia.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'd say probably somewhere between 80 and 90 percent that either have dementia or a different form of cognitive decline.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um and then I also do dementia care training for the state of Oregon, do Oregon care partners.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm a Teepa Snow certified uh dementia care trainer, and she's pretty cool rock star in the in the dementia care sphere space.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, very down-to-earth and very kind of real life applications, like not a lot of beating around the bush, cusses at you in her training, things like that.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: So um, so that's a lot of what I'm doing now, and it's it's actually really kind of been a humbling experience because coming from more of the professional area to now being now where it's more about like the human aspect has been, I think, really cool and rewarding.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I also like there's some emotions there too, because that you know, when people leave us, it's not like at the bank where they close an account and they they leave to go to a different bank.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Here, most of our people are leaving because they either pass away um or they're getting placed, you know, for good in a facility.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so a lot of times we have some pretty um tough things to deal with as as employees here and things like that.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: But I think it's been really cool to just get the filling the bucket on on the other side.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've had enough time making billionaires more money and now I'm more like I want to help people in my community and um make kind of that difference, you know.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so my mom, my mom opened up uh, it's called Gen Tog, uh, it's Generations Together.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we have Adult Day Center on one side, and then on the other side we have preschool.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um and then we bring them together throughout the day for we call it grandparents time or IG time.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so my son goes here.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is he graduates, technically graduates next week, which is again um super crazy to me because I feel like I blinked and he turned five.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um but it's been really cool to just be seeing him engage because like my grandparents on both of my sides are have passed away.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so of course he has like my parents and my wife's parents, but it's cool to see him having these additional relationships with seniors and um just the way he navigates that.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's really cool to see that and like the empathy that it makes him display.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it's pretty cool to be able to see my son every day when I'm bringing him to school and then uh getting to see my mom and stuff too, working together with her has been really, really rewarding.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that is so cool.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that is so cool.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: There's so much I want to talk about with this.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: I would love that for me and my own son.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he goes to um Yay uh summer camp, which is my mom.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's the best, yeah.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: So they're gonna be with family.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: They've literally been on a trip for three weeks now.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: He gets back on Saturday, and I'm dying on the inside.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'll say I know you've been missing him.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, I'm dying on the inside, but he couldn't he could not care any less about where I'm at or what I'm doing.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: This is like I'm having a fun with grandma.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: I get a stuffy every day.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: The grandparents do spoil, that is for sure.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I love where you're at though, in this um dementia care training and your adult daycare with a preschool on the other side.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, talk about uh once the man, twice the baby, and bringing that together.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, such a bridge.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: It was really interesting.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: So my mom actually, she's she started with her best friend.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she the same thing kind of worked in the corporate world for a really long time, and they ended up like the places she was at for like almost 30 some odd years.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like consolidated and we're moving everything down to California, and that was not her desire at all.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so she was kind of at a point where she was like, I have a good amount of retirement saved up, you know, that sort of thing.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in a good place.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think it's time I I do what I wanted because she was she wanted this type of um program when I was a baby and it didn't exist.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh she wanted the intergenerational piece.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um so that's that's why she started to start with the best friend 18 years ago now.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: We celebrate our 18th anniversary in April.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so it's been really cool.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: We had our first um kid who started as a baby here, she just graduated this year.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, one of the babies are not baby anymore of uh our senior directors.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's her granddaughter.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and so it's been really cool to kind of see some of that, like that full circle.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my older boys both went through here as well as my younger son that's here now.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so just kind of seeing that and seeing like them getting that time, like when my grandpa went here before he had passed, and just that additional time they got with grandparents that they never would have.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but also I just I think it's really unique because one, you know, seeing that the magic that the the old the seniors get because they miss that a lot, right?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like they lose so much of their community, especially within dementia.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so it gives them that opportunity to be able to engage with with younger people, not just babies and and kids, but also like a lot of our staff are younger.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um we have a gentleman uh we always say he's kind of a gem, a jewel.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh 21-year-old kid started as an intern when he was in high school with us.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but just he loves to like share about his weekends with them.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And the the seniors just get the biggest kick out of hearing this little 21-year-old guy talking about, you know, going to either I went to the bar with my friends or, you know, I was just hit the gym this weekend, but whatever it is, they just like eat it up.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um getting to hear like young people's lives.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's just something special about that.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um and we do lots of stuff, you know, dancing, parties.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, our music director is uh he's a performer and he does concerts and stuff around Portland.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but he's quite often does like impromptu concerts throughout the day here, just if it kind of gets they're getting bored or something, he just busts out his guitar and we've got seniors up dancing and and singing together.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and seeing that, like the mu the magic of music too with the different generations is really cool because like one of the few things that they don't lose in dementia.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so lots of dancing and singing happens here for sure.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Old chills.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: I can totally feel like I could relate to that, that they would not lose the music piece and the aspect because I mean the I I know you know just recently our kids are the same age and we are very musically inclined people.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like that was our like connection back in the day.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and when we see that in your kids, it's innate.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: Right and like they want to move their bodies, they want to wiggle around and shake their booties, and they think it's so much fun.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that that's something that never truly leaves a human soul because that's how you reach a little bit of freedom and you shake out the anxiety, you shake out the nerves, and like you can move, you can talk about music through the nervous system and how it literally cures disease on some levels.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: So beautiful.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: When you are in that and you're in dementia patients, you can probably see them come back to life when you turn that.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of the really cool things.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, like when I do trainings as far as like a lot of times in my classes that I have, it's a lot of times either family caregivers, sometimes professionals, but um I say the majority are probably family caregivers, loved ones who are wanting to learn about the disease so they can be better um equipped and and have more understanding of what their person is going through.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: But that's like one of the top things.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, whatever you can do anything else, but just include music in everyday life.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like it makes such a difference in how they respond and and how they engage.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um I saw a really cool TED talk a while back where there's a gentleman talking about how they do like brain scans um while music's playing with people with dementia versus when it's not, and how when music plays, like their brains light up like uh he says like Christmas lights or like fireworks, and it's just beautiful to see like what is happening when that music is playing.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it's we've seen it so many times.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like we oftentimes, if people are getting close to to passing that sort of thing, we'll go visit them at their homes and hospice, and um you know, we'll we'll sing songs with them.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: And there's one lady who she passed last year, uh, one of us was one of my favorite ladies ever, like super cool black lady from Alabama, um, went to the University of Tuskegee in the 40s, which was like you know, unheard of for a black woman at that time.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but like she would full-on sing songs.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you would try to talk to her, right?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like she really couldn't give you a full sentence.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: But if you played songs like Swing Low, Sweet Chariot or songs that are, you know, very um gospel hymns and things like that, she would grab the mic and would literally sing along with you like the whole song.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: It was just so cool to see.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I had thought about this um a while back.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like my grandmother, she passed from dementia and it was it got really severe after a stroke.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: It was crazy.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it was like um one of my grandmas, for example, she passed away November 9th, and my other grandma had a stroke like the very next day or something like that, and never came back from it.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: And as a matter of fact, my wedding anniversary is the day we buried her, which is didn't even think that was even um that was not intentional.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: It just was happening, it happened, it just happened.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: And one day my mom's like, you know, it's the day we buried Nana, and I'm like, Oh shit.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: But anyway.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: At least it's now there's something positive tied to it as well, right?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: But it's great because I get to talk about her, and it's just one of those, she was my flower girl in my wedding.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so it was really cool um with that, and where I was going with that.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I had known about the music piece like when she was going through that, because I would give anything just to seen her sing in her what she thought was an amazing voice.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: And just see how it would have liked to have light, see her lit up.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: I would have loved to have seen that.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: One of those those like I we always say it's like one of the few blessings that we get left with within within dementia, because I feel like so much gets robbed or taken from them.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it's one of the few things that they that they keep really pretty much to the very end, you know.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's as as sad as it is, it's also beautiful at the same time.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think that's always kind of our goal is trying to find those like pockets moments where people can still their person's back for even if even if it's four minutes, you know, an hour, whatever it is, um, taking advantage of those times because there's still life in there, right?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's like so often we want to just kind of put people away or it's like, oh, you know, they've they've lost this, like let's not even deal with it.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: And there's still a lot left to be to be had.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: And their life can be prolonged too if if we're taking advantage and and working their brain and working their bodies and mind, you know, it makes such a difference.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: How did you get into this?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I know you said your mom, but was there a significant episode or a family member yourself that sparked this?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, probably a few.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of interesting.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: So it was like I was in banking um during COVID and right, I was in the training department.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, loved being a trainer, like it's my favorite thing is getting to talk to people and share knowledge.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and unfortunately, though, you're right, like when they were going through kind of the financial issues that that a lot of companies had during that time, they training department's like one of the few places that doesn't really make money for for a company, especially a place like a bank.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: So um laid off a lot of us uh during that time.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I kind of was like, I don't know what the heck I'm supposed to do, right?
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like I my wife just had a baby.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sitting here in the middle of COVID, right?
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like my boys are at home with me.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um I have no idea what I'm supposed to do, or if I do I continue banking, do I, you know, what do I do?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so I got got into a nonprofit world for a little while, um, doing some financial education uh training and training volunteers to do that, um, which it was beautiful and I loved it.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it just kind of hit a point where I was like, you know, I was having to drive downtown to come into the office and I was missing my boys at home, and and there's those, those sort of things where I was kind of just a bit stressful.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so, you know, I was like, I just I don't want to do this, right?
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just I want to do something different.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um my wife at the time had just gotten a position um at Nike.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, we were kind of a space where like financially we were okay without me having a you know a full-time corporate career.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I took a little bit of time off and uh was like, you know, bringing my son to school and was talking to my mom and I was like, you know, like do you need any help around here?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like just literally looking to just kind of help out.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it really just started as that.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, sure, yeah, like there's things I don't like to do.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: So like she hates doing marketing and going to networking groups and on the talk side.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: I let I love engaging in those things.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, you know, I'll do that.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: I used to do it at banking, and this is way easier because I'm not the 15th person selling you alone.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm somebody talking about something that you know can help you.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so started doing that, and then she was like, you know, we need some more help doing some of the training with our staff because we don't really have any sort of like formal trainings.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I kind of came on board in a really super part-time capacity that time, probably like 10 hours a week.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then just really started loving it.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, you know, I don't want to leave behind this skill set I have from training.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, how can I utilize this, you know, in this space?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so she was like, you know, check out T P Snow.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like she's a really cool person, and you know, my mom's been a big fan of her forever.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I watched some of her videos and just um she's from the south from North Carolina, so she's got, you know, got the southern draw.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um but just was she was so real, you know, and I was like, this is like exactly the kind of energy we need, especially in a space that's so um either unknown or just sad, depressing, right?
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I went down to North Carolina, got to train down there with with her staff, um, and then she surprised us and was there, which was one really cool, but a little bit intimidating because she's kind of like one of those um like kind of like a rock star in that industry.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, her showing up and you know, can I join in?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: And we're all like, Yeah, of course you can join in.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, of course, like her, her, her asking us to do things in front of her was a little, a little scary, right?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so got that certification and then started doing trainings uh here at our center.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then I had a really good friend whose son plays basketball with my middle son, um, and she did training for Oregon Care Partners, uh, mostly like in the DEI space for them.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and so she was like, you know, we need another trainer.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: They're looking for a guy who's, you know, hopefully colo of color.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh she's like, I know you used to do training.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so she was like, you know, cook me up with their person.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we kind of interviewed, and I was telling her how I was getting T PUSNO certified and going through that.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, Well, we need someone to do those trainings here too.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so it was like, you know what, let's do it.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so kind of just jumped in uh head first.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so now I get to do, you know, webinars, in-person trainings kind of all over the state, um, which has been really cool to just the the honor to be able to talk to people in such a difficult space and try to just give them things to make their life a little bit easier.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then started doing my mom and I opened a nonprofit here at our adult day so we can help the the people in between.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: We always kind of talked about the like, you know, there's there's things for children, right?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like that always exists in our world.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: We have so much setup for the people on the other end, but like the people in the middle are always getting left out.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's nothing for them.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: They except and they're doing all the work a lot of the times um and being so stretched thin.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: So we started doing um classes for people that are free for the community or for any of our clients that come here.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we do like dementia-friendly events, art nights, dance parties.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we just had a country concert actually a couple weekends ago, which was super cool.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: Girl who's she lives down in um in Tennessee and Nashville, but she was from Oregon originally, so she came and performed at our center.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's just really cool to be able to see like people who don't have this opportunity anymore.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, they don't go to go to dances, they don't go to clubs, things like that.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I mean, a person with dementia, that's it's too hard.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: So seeing people who are dancing with their husbands or wives and they haven't danced with them in you know 10 years is just so cool to be able to see.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that was kind of the part that was like, yep, I should be here.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then beyond that, my my mom was the sole, her and my dad were the caregivers for my great-grandma when she had Alzheimer's, uh, my grandma when she had cancer, and then my grandpa when he had Parkinson's.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and so we we actually, my wife and I lived with my mom, uh, my dad for a little while when she had my great grandma.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was really like one crazy to have all these different generations within one home.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it was very like eye-opening to kind of see what happens within this disease that people just don't know.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: People kind of think like, oh, it's just they just forget things, right?
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's like, no, like their brain is literally like melting away.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's dying.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so people don't always understand all the other things that are happening to them.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think it was really eye-opening for me there.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then my mom took me to the National Adult Day conference uh that year in Chicago.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like a lot of people, kind of our generation, who were doing this work, and they one of the sessions I was in, they asked kind of like, you know, why are you in this space?
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing?
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: And like almost every person was like, you know, either my grandma, I'm here for her, I'm here for my mom.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, I kind of had that same uh we kind of identified on that.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I was like, you know, this is what I need to do or where I need to be.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so that's what I was like, I told my wife, I was like, I think I'm gonna try to come on full time and and figure this out and and see how this works.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so here I am, you know, Three years three years later now.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um and just loving, loving every minute of it and loving getting to to be able to navigate and help people navigate this tough, tough disease.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that is so beautiful and obviously so special.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like I can feel that.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: I got cold chills several times when you were discussing this.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: This is such a testament of what it truly means to look after your community.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like that's not um easy.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of people don't know the first step or how to do that, especially our age too.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, we're in the late 30s, early 40s generation, and we're coming up on our parents, some of them uh maybe getting their first diagnosis, some of them already had passed, or it's definitely grandparents have seen that where our parents were our age going through these things.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like you really don't know.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: And what do you do with when you have a small community, a rural area, and how do you work through that?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I heard you say you do webinars and things like that.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how do you make that outreach statewide?
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, Oregon Care Partners, I know they do a lot of work, the state of Oregon, they they do a lot of like outreach to different communities.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've been in a lot of the smaller communities around Oregon, which is somewhat pretty eye-opening that, like you said, they don't have much for resources or just ways to even get help.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, some of them might like closest hospital is like two hours away or you know, 45-minute drive, whatever that is.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then as far as like resources, like transportation, like is non-existent in a lot of these communities, uh, which is a lot of times a big hang up why they don't have things like adult day or um a lot of facilities or places where people could go when they're in that space.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that's hard.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that I think they're they're kind of trying to work on or figure out.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: But at this point, it's just one of those things that's kind of missing.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so when I whenever I'm there, it's always one of those they always ask kind of like, why aren't there more things, you know, to help people in the rural communities?
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's one of those questions that I wish I could answer.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm I'm hoping that we can solve through again through the education and just kind of, you know, here come to the classes, you know, if you ever need like I always like please outreach.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you need to call me for any reason, questions, whatever that is, feel free.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's definitely a place where it's kind of very underserved right now.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so the the webinars help a bit.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then they do try to schedule us where we we do go in person.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was in Medford um last summer with got to bring my son, so he kind of like hung out at the hotel and hung by the pool while I was training people.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it was like just these small communities that don't get a lot of don't get a lot of help.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so like they were, of course, very thankful, very grateful to hear it, because again, it was like learning things that they had no idea, right?
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like they were like, oh, like I thought my person was just being stubborn.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: I thought they were just trying to manipulate me.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I promise you, like it's it's their brain that it's none of this is what they want to do.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um but it's just like it's so eye-opening for a lot of people.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: They just don't know what's going on.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't imagine trying to like help somebody that you care about and love and not really understanding what's happening, right?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it's it's one of the things we're trying to work on, but it's just it's hard.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's and from what I hear when I go to like the national conferences, it's something that's happens everywhere, like every state.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Metropolitan areas, right, they've got quite a bit of resources, but when you get anything anything like an hour outside of there, it's just nothing or they have to travel to find it.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, uh just thinking of um, like I'd said, uh, twice the baby, once the man type thing, that's for women and men.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's just the same, right?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: But um we're used to as humans, I think, being able to evolve a brain and watch it grow.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so we know the signs and symptoms per se when we're raising an infant to be five and what it looks like in between those years, and then from five to ten and what it looks like between those years.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then after 10, it's basically crapshoot.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_03: But good luck.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're like, well, I don't know.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: So there's too much external factors, but anyway, but when you're looking at an older adult and they're um in their sixties or in their fifties or whatever stage this starts to happen, and you never know, and they don't even know.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's the the thing is like they don't even know what's happening to them because they don't know how to rationalize that that is different because they don't know that it's different.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then you, on the other hand, are expected to just deal with this new person that's the same body.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it's really pro it's gotta be one of those like the slowest heartbreaks and the slowest breakup.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: A hundred percent.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's I feel like that's you know, we do a support group here at our center.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and a lot of times kind of the the trainings that I do will not I wanna say turn into support groups, but a lot of times turn into just kind of like picking brain sessions and you know, asking for, you know, what do I do if this is going on?
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's always the part that's like hardest for me.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: I try to kind of drive home is like, yes, this like obviously it's awful and it sucks for the person who's going through it, but it is hard for you too, as the loved one or the caregiver.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do not underplay that.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of times people kind of they want to like feel like they need to do this alone or they need to be, you know, like I should be the sole caregiver and they should be with me 24-7.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it like, I understand, you know, where that piece comes from.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but like as Teepa Snow, she always says is like nobody should be doing this alone.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: There should be at least three people involved in anybody's care, like minimum.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think that's why we always tell people, like, if whatever you need, like find a community, find a village, you know, if it's a dull day, if it's a center, if it's a social center, um if it's just, you know, get you get together with another group of older people who are in a similar situation, but like find things to be able to like work your brain, work your social piece, because when you lose that, it it becomes even harder.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I think the other part is like not only they're caring for this person, but they're like I like you said, they're mourning, they're mourning the loss of them.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: Cause like, yes, they're not they're not gone yet, but so much of them is going away.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um and like you said, seeing it grow from a kid where you are learning and you're seeing them become this person, where the other end you're watching this person lose um so much of who they were.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's always the like the hardest part for loved ones to to deal with.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think they always know that they are even dealing with that until you know they really sit down and and think through it.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: And and oftentimes people don't do that, right?
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: They're so busy or they've got they have kids of their own or they have a full-time job and they're also taking care of mom or dad or um husband, wife, whoever it is, and they, you know, they kind of lose themselves a lot of times.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: And they do.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: That part I think is heartbreaking.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I like a lot of times people too will tell us they're like, I wish you could have known him or her before the disease, you know.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so we always find it super beautiful and treasures when they share with us like about their lives and who they were before before the disease took hold.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because there is so much like that they did.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: There's like these incredible humans.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, we only get to know this one small, tiny aspect of them, but they had these entire lives.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that's always one of my favorite things is just learn learning about the people uh who come to our center and and who they were and who their families were.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: And like we have some family members, husbands, wives, who will come and kind of just hang out at the end of the day when they come to pick up their loved one and just chill and talk with us because a lot of times they they lose that too, right?
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: They don't have people soft anymore, especially if they like live alone or um are you know the rest of their families out of town, they just kind of have nothing.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so they come and hang out with us and you know, we'll be their their pseudo families if if you will.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: But but I love that piece because it's just like it's so cool to to be able to just engage with them and and try to make their day better, I guess, in a way.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, and I'm sure you do, and I'm sure it's so impactful.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I love that you said not to do this alone because I feel like the generation, for example, that's going through this now, let's say they're in their 80s, right?
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: They were raised on a premise of you don't cry, you don't show any emotions uh except for you say I love you and that's like that, or you pat each other's hand and you know very modest um affection.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: And they are raised and brought up and they raise their kids to be brought up as you fend for yourself.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, the world's out to get you.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: Don't trust anybody.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, these people they were raised by people who went through the depression if they weren't part of that anyway.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: That generation mentality, I love them and then I hate it for them so much because like my grandparents, when my grandma was going through this, my grandpa was so stubborn on her care, and she was so stubborn on her care.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like, but you need people, you need to do this with other people who know what they're doing, you know.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like get an in-home health nurse or something.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: Take her somewhere that's not just to a shopping mall, you know, not just the grocery store, you know.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, come on.
• 31:38
  unknown: Yeah.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's I feel like that's some one of the things that doesn't get talked about enough is the like the the loss of socialization, community.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like, you know, we well, something I always kind of drive home whenever I'm talking to somebody, especially if they're newer to their person having uh a diagnosis, or even if they don't necessarily have a diagnosis, but they're they're suspecting it's it's this.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm just like, talk to them about something beyond the care.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's it's always like, oh, did they go to the bathroom?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: Did you eat?
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Did you take your meds?
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, let's just talk about life, talk about whatever you would have before they had this disease, right?
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm sure you did not talk to your husband or wife only about did they eat, have a bowel movement, or how they're taking their medication, right?
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's something that I think people kind of lose that.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: They get so like overwhelmed or consumed with the the care piece of it that they just kind of lose that.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Just sit with your person, like veg out and watch some TV together, hold their hands, just be like with them and how much that impacts them in the in that moment.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, it does.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I was it winning the poo and Piglet.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: I know you will know this, that um something was going on with Pooh and Piglet was just like, it's okay, I'll just sit here with you.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think that that's such like a valuable like life lesson.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think people don't always it's like you don't always have to be fixing things.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like some of these things aren't fixable, but sometimes it's just like just listening or just being with somebody can go way further than people know.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like sure, we engage people here all the time, but it's like a lot of times it's just sitting like some of our staff will just sit with certain people and like hold their hand while we while we're doing whatever we're doing, you know.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um that human connection means way more a lot of times than trying to um do huge activities.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: It does.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so often, like for just what I know and my um situation, I've only got one situation.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: So this I'm just gonna keep going back to that.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, where my grandma she was left alone a lot because my grandpa needed to work for whatever, and so she was left alone with a can of Coke and some crackers and like to watch TV.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_03: Sounds right.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and I'm working a full-time job, I didn't go over there.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: I also didn't know what I know now, and I'm sure they don't didn't know either.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_01: And it's one of those like silent killers because, like you've said, and we just talked about like they don't even know that that's what's going on with them.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: It just it's hard that's sad.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it happens, I think, so often.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of times, like right, dementia has a lot of research has really just happened probably in the last 20, 30 years.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, it's kind of it's a newer science, if you will, especially in the healthcare sphere.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: So kind of like we're still learning every day, right, about kind of the changes and what goes into it.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but so often I think like 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago, people would pass away and a lot of people don't know like dementia will kill you.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but people typically think that it's just like, you know, it's you you won't die of it, but you just have it, but it will absolutely like it will eventually shut down all your systems.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um but like a lot of times people right, like they lose vision within dementia, something that people don't always know.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um so we I always try to think about like how often probably people like got in car crashes and died, and they just assumed it was a regular car crash, but it was probably because they couldn't see because they had dementia.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, or they forgot where they were going and went down the wrong way, whatever it was.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of things that weren't attributed that were related to dementia that people probably just didn't know was happening.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think that's a something that's not talked about a lot, right?
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: Is it's it's just kind of like again, just just forgetting things.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you know, they're forgetting stuff, it must be Alzheimer's.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so again, people just don't really have a full understanding of of what the disease is.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's kind of something I'm trying to just make aware.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's like one of my biggest goals is just to for people to understand like this is what is happening.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and especially because everybody, I think it's like one in four people over the age of 65 will get dementia or some form of it.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so we all will probably either have someone in our family who's got it or has had it, uh, or we know somebody who has.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like it touches almost every community.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I think the better people are equipped to understand it and want to will make it so we don't react in bad ways.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because some of these people with dementia, right?
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you're that frontal temporal lobe is being affected, you that thing they used to tell you you probably shouldn't do this in public isn't telling them that anymore.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, so things like you know, a grandpa talking to their daughter about or granddaughter about sex or those type of things, they do happen.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: But if you understand that again, this is not them, they're they may be in a different space, they may be a 16-year-old guy right now in his head.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um that understanding helps you kind of empathize or or work through that better.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: It happens all the time.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: And they, you know, there's a lot of labeling too, right?
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: They get labeled that they're they're bad or they're difficult.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, if we just would work, people knew to work with them rather than just blocking them away.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: Or like you said, so they spend the last 10 years of their life just you know sitting in a box watching TV for 12 hours a day until they go to sleep.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like that's not nourishing the brain, and they can have such a better, you know, quality of life at the end as opposed to just um withering away till they die.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's always the sad part that we see too often.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: How do you spread your awareness?
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what would you say?
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: I uh obviously this is a great platform, you know, the fits in project is just like I would do it here too.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: But how would you um let's say you are a rural community, a rural community and you don't have the ease of access like you do in cities, but even then there's a lot of red tape, right?
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: So how do you get to be accessible to people who feel like they're alone?
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: Uh well, you know, I I think there's there's a few different probably avenues that that are available that we could that people could can probably try to explore.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's a lot of stuff online, you know, so I can think online access is is huge and it's probably offered a lot of good into this space that didn't exist again 20, 30 years ago.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um but just like getting educated on what is happening within the disease.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like even if you don't for sure have a diagnosis, you're like, you know, like I feel like they're starting, there's like some of the changes are happening, or I'm seeing them, they're forgetting things, or they they're not wanting to do stuff they used to love, right?
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, you start to see some of these signs that sometimes will tell you that maybe either dementia is setting in or some other type of cognitive decline.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but then finding things to do.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like it just you may not have like a social center, like take them out, dude.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like go for a walk in the sun.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like go if you go bowling, still go bowling, like still take them.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like even if you can only go for 20 minutes, it's just do for the 20 minutes, right?
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because um, like I always tell people there's like a essay, it usually has to do with children.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's like if you had like five minutes, like you came back in time for five minutes and you knew that this person that you're working with at some point is going to die, and you just get this five minutes again, how would you, you know, how would you navigate that situation?
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: And you probably wouldn't be distracted, right?
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like you would probably like, I'm gonna be in the moment as much as I can for that five minutes.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_00: And like, do that with your person because they're not gonna be here.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, sadly, they're not gonna be here for much longer, even though they sure they could have Alzheimer's for 10 years, but like, you know, in the scheme of life, like 10 years still is a blink of an eye if you spent 50 years with somebody.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so like taking advantage of those moments and like even when it's tough or when it's frustrating, still doing that.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's why we I mean that's also why we do the webinars through through our training.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's something for our nonprofit that we're looking to do.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like we do every Thursday.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, our music director, he's also a chaplain.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so we do like a fellowship service on Thursdays.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's very non-denominational.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like I don't attend church or anything like that, but um, you know, I always attend that because it's just it's it's fun with one to be able to talk with the families and and make it special for them.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: But another thing that they lose, right?
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um but we also like we we stream that on like Facebook, on our Facebook Live, on our on our um nonprofits Facebook.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: So that way people who can't come can still like attend and just you know hear some fun songs.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: And um Joe, he's our music director, he always kind of talks about things that are very, again, non-denomination, just you know, God as a whole.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just kind of whatever you believe, you're welcome.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: But gives you kind of that that peace or that community.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I think things like that, like if I would love to be able to find ways to make more of those happen, because that's always the hardest thing is that people just the not only the person with dementia loses this, but the loved one loses these things too.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like one of the conferences we went to, there was a gentleman who he had Alzheimer's like actively, but he could still, like, he realized that he had it.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like he was one of those, he was one of those lucky ones that could kind of understand what was happening.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um and someone asked him, like, you know, what's the hardest thing about having it but knowing that you have it?
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and his answer, like, it surprised me because it wasn't that, you know, how hard this is or like the struggle for me, but he's like, it's that my wife, like the calls that used to come, you know, to invite to birthday parties, gatherings, like those don't happen anymore for her.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it's like, you know, I would tell people just so if you know somebody who's in these, call them.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even if they don't come, send the invite.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but like that's so much of that aspect of their life they lose.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's what doesn't people don't know.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um or they, you know, just kind of think, oh, it's just too much.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_00: Or like they're they have so much on their plate, I don't I don't want to bother them.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, no, go bother them because nobody else is bothering them.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and like you said, some people live alone, you know, or they, you know, they're just struggling with this by themselves.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: And sadly, like people who care for people with dementia, it's like over the age of 65, I believe it is, um, uh almost 50% will pass before the person they take care of, which is like a shocking number, but it's again because they they stop taking care of themselves, they're not, you know, they're not going to the doctor.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_00: Stress, you know, compounds, and we know stress can come out physically.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so a lot of times people are like, oh no, I'm okay.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like I, you know, mentally I'm exhausted, but I'm okay physics.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like those both get affected at the same time, you know?
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and those traumas that are coming are it's gonna affect you.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so it seems like being able to do things for the both, like the person with living with dementia and their loved ones, I think is um kind of that missing piece.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, just finding outreach, finding ways to navigate that, whether that's you know, sharing little tidbits on social media or um, you know, having people attend webinars, that's kind of like my goal is to expand that and um expand that around Oregon, of course, at first.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would love to, you know, work with other people to to get it talked about in other states because I think it's just uh such a yeah.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: I have a friend who who I have done it went to a few conferences with and um I was talking with her because she's down in Alabama.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so she was asking if I would potentially come out to Alabama for the like the senior space out there to talk about dementia.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I, you know, if it could happen, I'm absolutely gonna go do it.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: But it was just like, you know, she talked about how just in this space, especially this sit stately Alabama, where a lot of it is very rural, um, that people have just nothing.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: They don't know what what to where to go, where to who to reach out to.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um like, you know, there's things like the Alzheimer's Association that's amazing and are try to do as much as they can, but it's like getting people to do it though is is hard.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um and you talked about generationally, you know, like the online platform of anything is a struggle bus to get people in the senior space to want to use.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I don't do the, I don't do that, I don't do the phones, I don't do the internet.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's like please do because there's so much out.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like I know, yes, there's obviously negative things on the internet, but there's also so much knowledge, um, beauty out there that you can find if you just go look, you know, quick Google search and write billions of it of things at your fingertips.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um but like how to get that generation to utilize that more too, because I think that would be extremely helpful.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know like our generation, like when we go to take care of our parents, or if we uh get to that point where we all have dementia, like our families, like you know, I'm sure your husband, my wife, they would be all over the internet trying to find and so it's like how do we get them to do to do that?
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: The way uh yeah, the way Josh works, man, he would be like white on rice on research and all the things.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: He is a uh, let me find out what I can do, how can I support this?
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on?
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: What are you feeling?
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_01: How am I supposed to feel?
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: What if I feel this way?
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like that is that is Josh.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's so important.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's it.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: And we have we have some clients who come to our center to, you know, who who are like that.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, and they're their person usually thrives the longest.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, people don't always know, like, just get someone gets Alzheimer's, it does not mean one, they're dying next year or they're dying in a few weeks, right?
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I've seen people who have had Alzheimer's and have lived with it for a year.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen people who've lived eight to ten years, you know, it's kind of the normal span.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_00: And like I have a really good call.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: Who she's out in New York and she's a professor at NYU.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_00: But her mom had Alzheimer's for 30 years.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but she attended an adult day center every day of her life once she got Alzheimer's.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: And she's always like, this is why I will always support adult day centers and things like this, because like I think that's the only reason my mom lived as long as she did with Alzheimer's, was because she her brain was getting nourished.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: She was engaging with other people like her, you know, not just again being stuck in a box watching TV because it's too much hassle.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, get them out.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like the things that I get to see every day with our seniors, you know, like dancing with kids and dancing with our staff and doing trivia um, you know, word games, like you know, we'd like we have them bowling in the middle of the thing.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like we had uh we were playing flag football the other day.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_00: The kids were playing flag football, and some of the seniors were getting involved with that, like yoga.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: I know you love your yoga.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_00: We do like Disney yoga with the kids, and some of the seniors will get down on the ground with them and are stretching.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like so cool to see them.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like they would never get this if they were just stuck at home.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um it makes it can make some of these symptoms not take us take hold for a long time, right?
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like you get longer time with your person.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_00: And like to me, like what that's like the biggest piece that like I would want, right?
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, because it's it's too short as it is, right?
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so I don't want to miss any of those moments.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever I can get, like I would want to do that.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I always encourage people like, come hang out with us if you want to.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you want to come at lunchtime, or if you want to come just sit and relax and watch your person engage.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they just assume that things like they're like, oh, my mom never does this at home, but like they're sitting at a dinner table with four other older ladies and just having a conversation, like they're gett their kids in high school again.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it just always catches people off guard because they don't know that that will happen because you know, they kind of just oh, where do you they used to eat dinner in their chair at their house?
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so they don't really engage.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're with other people in a social space, it's just they they pick up on it.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's natural.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the autonomous things still stick, even again, pretty much till the very end.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so kind of seeing that I feel like is always really beautiful.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: And one of my favorite parts of the job is just having a senior, like oftentimes they'll just come in my office and you know, ask me a question or you know, sit and talk to me for a second.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it doesn't, but I, you know, I always roll with the punches in dementia.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's kind of kind of big.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter if it makes sense, it's just kind of the the rhythm of the conversation, a rhythm of the the human experience.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh I can just tell you are exactly where you're supposed to be.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you light up when you are talking about this stuff, it just resonates through your whole entire being.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't love this enough for you.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like this is such a cool thing to see.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm glad you left banking to hell with banking.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's definitely it's the right space.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, I it's I feel like there's just such a like it's kind of changed my tune on a lot of things just within life.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's been one of the bigger pieces too.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's helped me kind of keep growing as a person where I think if I would have I earlier probably only but have concentrated on, you know, how much money I make, or you know, am I getting that next promotion or whatever those type of things were?
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um where it's like, yeah, those are great.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_00: But like when you talk to people in this space, like nobody ever, not one senior I've ever been like, you know, if you could like there's one thing you go back and tell somebody, it's like so I was like, who nobody cares about how much money you made.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well and you can't take it with you, so it does not matter.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so if you if you die with a billion dollars, you die with 20 bucks, it doesn't matter, you're still gone, right?
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I think that's kind of changed my tune on a lot of things where I'm like, I just want to like take advantage of the life piece of everything, you know, spending more time with my boys and um yeah, you know, having conversations with my five-year-old, not just, you know, I go do your thing, but like if you want to tell me about Spider-Man, let's sit and talk about Spider-Man, you know.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like today on the way to school, it was like out of nowhere, he was like, Daddy, can you not play music in the car?
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Yeah, yeah, why?
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, why don't I do it?
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, I just kind of want to talk.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, sure, buddy, you can talk about whatever you want.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's absolutely okay.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_00: We just talked about Marvel, you know, about the Spider-Man brand new date coming out soon, uh, the whole drive in.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so, but it was like one of those situations where probably earlier me may have been like, eh, yeah, I I just wanted to like zone out right while I'm driving to work.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_00: But no, like I want to take advantage of that because I know again how short it is.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: And like you like we talked about earlier, you blink in there in high school or they're full-grown adults, and um you know, we lose that time so quickly.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_01: So quickly.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just wild because uh it just kind of resonates with me too, is you not only are losing that time for like think about how fast it goes with your kids, it goes just as quick with everyone else around you.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like your uh spouse, your uh parents, your grandparents, your jobs, all of the things.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_01: And what I really appreciate the most about this conversation is you've tapped into leading a life with soul purpose instead of that structure rigid rigidity and just like you said, when am I gonna get my next promotion?
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_01: When am I gonna life my life away?
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_00: Go do the things, dude.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like uh like my mom's getting right, she's going to visit her sister this summer in in Germany, and you know, she was like kind of on the fence.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, dude, go.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is this may be the last time you ever see her, you're right, or like this could be the last time you're ever gonna have a chance to travel, travel abroad.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_00: So like go do it.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because like, why?
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_00: What are you what are we waiting for?
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so often people are kind of like, oh, I'm gonna wait till the right time.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_00: When's the right time?
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you're right, like we're right time.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: Ever, yeah.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta think about that with like kids.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I remember people like when I was younger, they know I had my first my first baby, and I mean, like, you know, don't you feel like you're like young?
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I was 25, right?
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I mean, not really, right?
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I feel like if we waited longer, like what are we waiting for?
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, because I was like, Oh, wait till you're financially ready.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are you ever financially ready?
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, because that doesn't have I can tell you right now, like, I'm not I feel like I have less money now than I did when I made less money.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just I don't think it might matter.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like just just go like live life, have fun, like do what you can do.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_00: Cause yeah, you know, like sure retirement funds are great, but if you save up all the time and you never get to use your retirement fund, it's just gone.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_01: My mom and my dad tell me this all the time.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, my mom retired significantly early from what the states and things tell you you have to do and should do, and she just kicked that right in its teeth.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, I'm done though, I'm done.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you will watch me, I'm done.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that so much.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like, she's my biggest rock star in my life because she didn't wait.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_01: And what she did was she quit work five years ago.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: And she's 62-ish, maybe.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: She's not even enough to retire.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, a baby in the retirement age.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she was like in her 50s when she quit, though.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: So it was just like but anyway.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um now, just last year, she bought this massive dually diesel whatever truck.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even know, four, one, two, fifty.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's got some numbers.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_01: Can pull a big ass camper.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm doing with this.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_01: She bought a camper.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: And now she drove out, drove that out to my wedding in Colorado from Kentucky, drove up through Yellowstone, went to Big Sky, Montana, and did the whole entire dream vacation with my son, my brother and his wife and kids, and my dad.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_01: While I went off to my honeymoon and lived my life, you know, and my dream with me and Josh.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just phenomenal because now they're on their way back.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_01: They're trap, she's scheduled this whole thing, they'll be back on Saturday.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_01: But either way, I'm just like, you're doing the damn thing, and you're giving permission for everybody else around you to do it too.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that's how I see you, Alex.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're living this like soulful life on purpose with intention every single day to be there with your kids, be there with your family.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: You get to work with your mom and your son and make big community impact.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's not a small feat.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's huge.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's a big deal.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_01: And you're now going statewide and nationwide for something that means something to people.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: And like the most sacred part of a person's life is the end.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I think that's well, and I mean, super good for like I'm happy for your mom.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, good for her for doing that, because it's that's that's exactly what I think everybody should be able to do.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and what a like cool, unique experience like for your son, right?
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like to get into spend that time with his grandma like it's like what's that like that'll be there forever, right?
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even even if he doesn't remember it, like verbatim, like that will that emotional relationship matters so much.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_01: It does.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like those those grandparent relationships mean so much more, I think, than people ever um kind of talk about, right?
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like of course, like we know parents are important, but like the grand the relationship with grandparents doesn't get talked about a lot.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_00: But like some of my favorite moments of my childhood like tie back to my grandparents.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I can like you know, I think of my grandma when I think of these type of things like all the time.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so like I just think that's beautiful.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm ha so happy that she got got to do that and is getting to currently do that.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_00: Cause like you said, like, what do you what are you waiting for?
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, right?
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like if she waited until it was like maybe she had a little bit more money, awesome, but you know, maybe she doesn't get to enjoy it the same way.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_01: When you have more money, you need more things.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's how it works.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_01: Then you have less.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because we always want more, right?
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's like the human human conditions.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_00: We always want more, no matter what.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like sometimes we'd have to be in the moment.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's kind of the like something that I feel like I've learned just the last few years is just like just be in the moment no matter what it is.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like whether it's uh with the senior or it's with your kids or with your loved one, you know, your spouse.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but just being with them, you know, if it's doesn't necessarily matter what you're doing, but just doing something with them, I think is is more important than anything else.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's kind of what our kids will probably remember when they get older.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like they'll probably remember the maybe the exact advice we gave them, because right, like how often do we truly listen listen to our parents.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the examples that we set or you know, how we were present in their lives.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think that matters more than anything.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_01: Being present is the most important impact I think you could make on any human life.
• 54:15
  unknown: Yeah.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like 100%.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_01: Just be with somebody.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's um it's really fun because like I th I feel like this is such a topic I could talk about for hours and we've already done uh one down, but but I feel like with this specific um disease I think all are important.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_01: But this specific one is such a moment by moment uh case where it's so important to be present because you don't really know when they're actually there and they don't know when they're gonna leave again.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, a hundred percent.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like to be even the moment.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_00: I I that's one of the things I try to tell anybody who's caring for somebody with dementia.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, one word about being right, like it does not matter.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like if it's true or what you know, like we're we're so conditioned to be like, oh no, then no mom, that's not right, or you know, no dad.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, why, why?
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, who cares that they are correct?
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_00: Who cares that what they're saying makes perfect sense.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like just being there with them and and enjoying their their presence, like matters so much more.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_00: Cause you're gonna miss, you'll miss all of that, right?
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think the things we kind of miss when we think about someone we love who's gone, it's like we don't necessarily miss what they said, but we miss like being able to give them a hug, we don't miss like those type of things, maybe the sound of their voice, right?
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so it's like that's still that's still all there.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like just take advantage of those moments and take pictures, you know, take videos.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like we share, we use a social platform kind of thing for that's made for childcare, but we use it for our senior space too.
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_00: But we take pictures of our like our seniors all the time and share with the families in like a feed that they can go back on to like when the person, you know, inevitably leaves, they can go back and have a whole, you know, 500 pictures of their person that they probably would have never ever had um had they not come to our center.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, that's something I told people like if you don't even go to a center, like take pictures, like take pictures of everybody with everybody because like someday you will like treasure that and you might forget what they look like in your head, but having that picture will make such a difference.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's just I think too often we kind of focus on like the big picture, I guess, if you will.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, no, like life's really not a big picture to me, it's more like life's all the little small moments, like right now what matters.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like you might think like us getting to know each other, right?
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like the Disney program, like, even though I don't we probably don't remember every single solitary thing that happened during that time, but like it mattered, like the friendships matter.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're 20 years later, we still are in connection, right?
• 56:41
  unknown: Yeah.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think stuff like that's so cool.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's what it's really also cool, is it's like, you know, just with that, just talking with the Disney uh aspect too, just kind of rounding back out with that, you know, we made an impact on each other's lives and didn't even realize it.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like that is the um the lesson in all of it is you don't know what you don't know in the moment, but that energy field is what we all felt.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_01: And like I'm like, yeah, Alex, you're a lifer.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be in your life for forever, whether you love it or not.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_01: We will check in twice a year, and that's perfect, but just know I'm not going anywhere.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_00: But the program is super unique for that because I know, like, like you have if you go to college or whatever, like you get these relationships for for like this year long, right?
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're there four years, five years, whatever it is.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because the program we did was it was so short, but like you get super close to people that it gets such a short span.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like an yeah, exactly.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's like an intense relationship that I don't think people always understand if they haven't done something similar.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's that's it's interesting to see.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like social medias kind of help people see that.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like I see people's TikToks and they talk about like how hard it is, like people don't talk about how hard it is to leave these people that you just made this amazing relationship with.
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's like heartbreaking but beautiful at the same time.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's bittersweet for sure, which such is life, right?
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_00: A hundred percent.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_01: Gosh, wow.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate you getting on here and talking to this, and you know, opening up so many avenues of conversation, so many avenues of what it actually looks like, may feel like, and can be like for someone with dementia, as it's not the end of your life.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's just learning how to live with it.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's like the end of the story.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's another chapter.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I feel like that's kind of yeah.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I tell everybody, I'm like, you know, we everybody's journey, of course, is different within dementia and of course life.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like, you know, we're all maybe we're not on the same boat.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_00: We're I think we're all the same cruise ship, but we're just in different cabins.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but it's kind of like I tell people, I'm like, just just do whatever you want to do.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't hold back.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because I promise you, like, you will never regret doing more than you wanted to do, but you always forget doing less than you wanted to do.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of one of those things.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_00: I try to like tell people, regardless of what it is.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_00: I tell my sons, I'm like, dude, dance to the dances, go to the dances, like all the things.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if somebody's making fun of you because you're dancing and having fun, that's a them problem.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's go to your thing.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you graduate, you will not care.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_01: And no one's gonna care 20 years or remembering.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_01: You never have to do it.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_00: Those memories will matter way more to you.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it doesn't matter.
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, thank you so much.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_01: This touched my heart.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think it will uh the collective as well.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I want to have uh your resources in the show notes and everything that we can possibly get for um all of the dementia and your dementia care training, even if that's something that you bring to Kentucky.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_00: We can absolutely nonprofit website.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we have got our like a resource page on there and we've got um stuff about what we do.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_00: And any way that I can spread it is one of those things.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_00: I want everybody to have some sort of access to it, you know, even if it's an easy, just kind of small digestible things, but just something they can have um to make their life a little easier.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's beautiful.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much for being on today.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.