Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Ben Maller Show Best of the Week

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Ben Maller Show Best of the Week · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the best of the Ben Maler
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Show podcast. Be sure to catch us live every weeknight
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: from two to six Eastern eleven pm to three am
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and to find your local
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  Speaker 1: station for the Benmathers Show at Foxsports Radio dot com.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: You can find it there or stream us live every
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: night on the iHeartRadio app by searching FSR.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: This is the best of the Ben Maler Show on
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  Speaker 2: Fox Sports Radio.
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  Speaker 1: A big dumper delight, Welcome in the beginning of another
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  Speaker 1: hour of the Ben Malers Show. We are in the
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  Speaker 1: air everywares we huddle up and go on a shopping
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: spree coast to coast, border to border and beyond on
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  Speaker 1: the vast and lipsmackingly powerful microphones of FSR am monating
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  Speaker 1: live from the Whirlwind. It's just a whirlwind of whispers
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  Speaker 1: as we try to avoid joining the drifters. Coast to
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  Speaker 1: coast and all that good stuff from the world famous
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  Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio studios here as approved by the caller.
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  Speaker 1: We had last our Big Balls Bob, who won the
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: talent show, which was a spur of the moment. It
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: was not really a talent show, It was a karaoke
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: thing that we did in Vegas and this portion of
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: the Ben Mahler Show on Fox made possible in part
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: by our friends at ti Iraq. For over forty years,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: that's two generations, Tire Ract has been helping customers find
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: the right tires for how, what and where they drive,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: ship fast and freeback by free road hazard protection, with
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: convenient installation options like mobile tire installation tier rac dot
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  Speaker 1: com the way tire buying show would be. So our
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: lead this hour is from baseball and we'll go to
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Seattle with the story everyone's been yapping about. Here cal
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Raleigh doing it again. The Mariners star cal Raleigh homer
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  Speaker 1: in his first two at bats against Jacob Lopez of
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  Speaker 1: the Athletics. Not the Sacramento Athletics, not the Oakland Athletics,
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  Speaker 1: not the Kansas City Athletics, not the Philadelphia Athletics. They're
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  Speaker 1: just the Athletics. But that home run bonanzo by cal Raley.
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  Speaker 1: He broke the MLB record for home runs by a
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  Speaker 1: catcher in a single season minimum seventy five percent of
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  Speaker 1: games played as a catcher. So I assume you heard
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  Speaker 1: about that. If you've been listening, you know about it.
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  Speaker 1: We've talked about it and maybe not. But Salvador Perez
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  Speaker 1: of the Royals had the previous record with forty eight
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  Speaker 1: home runs. That was back in twenty twenty one. Man,
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  Speaker 1: it was so long ago, like four or five years ago.
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  Speaker 3: Wow.
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  Speaker 1: Now Raleigh has forty home runs this season while playing
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  Speaker 1: behind home play, So forty home runs is a catcher,
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  Speaker 1: So he's still technically not one, but two home runs
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  Speaker 1: away from that record. Just home runs by a catcher.
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  Speaker 1: That was Hobby Lopez of the Atlanta Braves back in
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  Speaker 1: the day forty two the most ever. Take that, Mike
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  Speaker 1: Piazza and all those other catchers the hit a lot
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  Speaker 1: of home runs back in the day. All right, So
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  Speaker 1: let us discuss the question based on the latest developments.
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  Speaker 1: Has cal Rawley passed Aaron Judge by in the American
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  Speaker 1: League MVP race. So I've got Google Maps, Airbnb, and
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  Speaker 1: modern Art, and we will combine all of these things
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  Speaker 1: together and we will ring the bell again and again
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  Speaker 1: and again and again. So number one, I said, number one. Yeah, alright,
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  Speaker 1: So they're in a dead heat at this point, right,
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  Speaker 1: dead heat. If you look at the American League MVP
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  Speaker 1: race down the stretch we go, here we are It's
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  Speaker 1: late August, the baseball season heating up. Boy, it's toasty
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  Speaker 1: hot most places, and we're setting up for a photo
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  Speaker 1: finish like at the Kentucky Derby very in there. And
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  Speaker 1: if you look at where we're at, cal Raley's got
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  Speaker 1: this record, the record as opposed to the Royals catcher.
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  Speaker 1: He's got that. He's gonna have the all time record.
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  Speaker 1: He's gonna hit at least three more home runs this
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  Speaker 1: year unless he gets hurt, so he's gonna have the
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  Speaker 1: all time record. And we know that catching is more
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  Speaker 1: difficult than playing outfield like Aaron Judges for the Yankees
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  Speaker 1: or dhing, which he's been doing somewhat lately because of
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  Speaker 1: some injury stuff. So the issue though, and this is
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  Speaker 1: the problem, and I want that dope from Seattle to
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  Speaker 1: call up hate Kyl. We do the show today. We're
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  Speaker 1: worried about today's show. So today, as we talk today,
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  Speaker 1: cal Raley is dead even and even has a slight edge,
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  Speaker 1: a hair of an edge over Aaron Judge. The issue
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  Speaker 1: is Google Maps. If you look at the geography, cal
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  Speaker 1: Raley plays, as the old NFL coach Jimmy Johnson said
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  Speaker 1: back in the day, he plays in southern Alaska. There's
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  Speaker 1: no workaround to that. There is what about the Internet,
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  Speaker 1: there's no workerund you have. You have to overcome the
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  Speaker 1: geography and Aaron Judge, all things being equal, Aaron Judge
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  Speaker 1: East Coast bias and all that stuff. And also even
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  Speaker 1: in the age of social media, Aaron Judge playing in
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  Speaker 1: New York and he's got that superhero costume, the pinstripes.
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  Speaker 1: Good luck, right, the tie will go to Judge. If
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  Speaker 1: it's even, the tie goes to Aaron Judge. So Raleigh
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  Speaker 1: needs to be a full head and shoulders ahead of
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  Speaker 1: Aaron Judge to take home the American League MVP Award
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  Speaker 1: this year. And the Yankees have a one game lead
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  Speaker 1: over the Mariners if you look at the overall standings
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  Speaker 1: in a lost column, a one game lead for the
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  Speaker 1: wild Ano. They're both wildcard teams, but the Mariners are
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  Speaker 1: one game behind the Yankees in the head to head standings.
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  Speaker 1: Judge is on pace. He's on pace. Didn't play well,
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  Speaker 1: particularly on that Sunday night game I was watching. The
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  Speaker 1: Yankees did actually beat the Red Sox, which I didn't
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  Speaker 1: think they could do anymore, but they did. I was
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  Speaker 1: watching that game a little bit the Yankees have a
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  Speaker 1: one game lead. As I mentioned, Judge on pace head
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  Speaker 1: ahead with the Mariners. Judge on pace for thirty two doubles,
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  Speaker 1: fifty home runs and one hundred and fifteen RBIs now
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  Speaker 1: cal Raley is tracking for twenty three doubles and he's
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  Speaker 1: also on pace to hit sixty. I believe it's sixty
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  Speaker 1: one home runs at this point and one hundred and
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  Speaker 1: thirty one RBIs so so big time numbers.
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  Speaker 2: There be sure to catch live editions of The Ben
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  Speaker 2: Meller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific
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  Speaker 1: Why should you listen to Covino and Rich.
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  Speaker 5: We talk about everything life, sports, relationships, what's going on
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  Speaker 4: We have a lot of fun talking about the stories
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  Speaker 4: behind the stories in the world of sports and pop culture,
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  Speaker 4: stories that well other shows don't seem to have the
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: time to discuss.
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  Speaker 1: And the fact that we've.
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  Speaker 5: Been friends for the last twenty and still work together.
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  Speaker 5: I mean that says something, right, So.
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  Speaker 1: Check us out.
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  Speaker 5: maybe the most interactive show on planetar.
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  Speaker 1: That's Covino and Rich. The real is the thing?
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Or is it?
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  Speaker 1: Welome in not Beginning of another night of the Bain
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  Speaker 1: Malord Show. We are in the air everywhere. We take
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: the plane up in the air, the Red Eye flight
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: as you listen and we talk, attempting to make inroads
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: coast to coast, border to border and beyond on the
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  Speaker 1: mast in Orlee powerful microphones of fsre am Mondading Live
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  Speaker 1: industrial complex of the Hot Sports take the world famous
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• 8:20
  Speaker 1: that famously you know Danny's from Nashville, but he lives
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: in Miami now and he listens to the podcast because
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: he works with the dreaded day Shift. And Danny came
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: to visit us here in Los Angeles and hid in
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: the bushes outside the studio. He literally hid in the
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: bushes outside of the studio. That's his claim to fame
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: with the show. This portion of the program made possible
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: in part by our friends at ti Iraq. For over
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: forty years, that's two generations, ti Iraq has been helping
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: customers find the right tires for how, what and where
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: they drive, ship fast and freeback by free road hazard protection,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: with convenient installation options. I know Ferg Dog, that's a
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: big deal. Ferg Dog always says that's a big deal.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: That in Pickles, big deal. And those convenient installation options
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: like mobile tire installation, and they'll even come to fer
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Dog's mom's house where he lives there. Tire rack dot Com,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: the Way Tire Buying show'd be so our lead this hour.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: There was some debate in the newsroom that I have
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: a couple of I'm like blind Scott, I've got multiple
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: personalities and there's a couple of voices I would like
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: to put as a Newby Night. So today is a
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: newby Knight, which means all new colors. So Mike the
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Leprechaun out, Blind Scott out, no moss for hollering, James
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  Speaker 1: Lucky Tony, No, No, that's a blow to me. No
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Lucky Tony, I cannot do it. Jeedhu fled not gonna
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: be Now, what's gonna happen? What normally happens is some
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: of the regulars there are such attention whoors that they will
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: attempt to call up with fake voices and try to
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: get past the goalkeeper. So you have to listen to
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: see if any of the regulars get on with an alias.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: Always a fun degree of difficulty to Newby Night is
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: which regulars are so desperate for airtime that they will
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: use now angry Bill used to do this all the time.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: But Bill has some health problems. He didn't call a
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: show much anymore. So, But who's going to step up?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: That's the question. So it is a Newbie Night. I'll
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: give out the number in a little bit. I got
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: a rant here. It's called a malord monologue. At the
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: top of every hour, every hour on the hour. It's
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: a malar monologue, boom, just like that. So I was
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: going to lead the show with a different story. However,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: my brigadier generals in the Mala Militsia, I listen when
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: they speak. So I really want to tip the cap
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: to Justin and Cincinnati and Robbie the Mariner Fan. They
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: reached out to me. I was sleeping and I woke
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: up to a couple of frantic messages. Justin in Cincinnati
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: specifically requested that I lead off the show with this story.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Justin said, you know, he just loves love. I think
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: that's what he said. He just loves love, and he
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: plays a schmuck on social media, complete a hole all that,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: but it's just an act. It's just performance art. That's
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: all he does. And they said, both Robbie the Mariner
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Fan and Justin and Cincinnati. The way I interpreted their
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: messages was that I would be committing a sports talk
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: radio felony if I avoided the Komodo dragon in the room,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: the story that everyone's been yapping about here, it's crossover story.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: So boys, your wish is my command. Tabloyd Mallord has
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: arrived ta Yeah, I know, Well, we do broadcasting, not
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: narrow cash and play the hit small man. What of
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: our old bosses used to say? So Taylor Swift, I'm
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: told she's kind of a big deal. I'm told she's
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  Speaker 1: kind of a big deal. Taylor Swift, who apparently does
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  Speaker 1: some singing and gets paid for it. And Travis Kelcey,
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  Speaker 1: who used to be good at football, and then I
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: don't know what that was in the Super Bowl last year. Anyway,
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  Speaker 1: they're now engaged. Oh my god, sweet baby Jesus, they're engaged.
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  Speaker 1: They announced the news in a joint post on The
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  Speaker 1: Graham very exciting. Kelsey went into a garden, a literal garden.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know where the garden was, and he asked
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  Speaker 1: Taylor Swift, the most famous woman in the world, I'm
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  Speaker 1: told to marry him, and apparently she said yes. So
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: there you go. All right, So how does that work
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: in sports radio? How is that a sports stock radio
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  Speaker 1: talking point? Well, you're about to find out. So let's
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  Speaker 1: discuss the question. What are the chances that Travis Kelsey
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  Speaker 1: pulled off a shock engagement? That this was a surprise,
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  Speaker 1: this was unexpected, that this came out of nowhere. So
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: I've got on this one. I've got waffle house, humped
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: back whale, and Roman candle, and we will combine all
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: of these things together, and we are going to make
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: your Babushka's favorite gulash. Is what we're going to do
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: for your Babushka. We're going to do that, all right.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: So a to answer the question, the chances that Travis
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Kelsey pulled off a shock engagement, that Taylor Swift had
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: no idea that he was going to pop the question,
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  Speaker 1: the chances are slimming none, And slim took the first
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: flight out of Dodge See you later. This was obviously
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: carefully curated for human consumption. For your consumption, I guess
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: from mine. I slept, I was, I woke up to it.
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  Speaker 1: But yeah, if had you had the photos. You had
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: the diamond ring, which I guess could could like use
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: as a reflector for mahomes on deep passes and all
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: that stuff. And they had a little cute post there,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: I never had an English teacher like that. I never
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: had a gym teacher like that. I did not have
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: a gym teacher that looked like that. I had a
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: gym teacher that wore short shorts, had a whistle around
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: his neck and really short shorts. And then I had
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: a lot of English teachers that were very old, very
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: old and had been beaten by life. That's what I had.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: That's what I had. But this was so cute, folksy,
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  Speaker 1: quirky and all that stuff, all those words right there,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: and it was blasted across every single corner of the
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  Speaker 1: world wide web there within seconds, the interweb all over
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  Speaker 1: the place. Now, does that sound organic? Maybe the back
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: of the room it sounds organic. Possibly the back of
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: the answer is sure. If organic means like tupperware, there's
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: a place somewhere. I think it's in South America where
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: they grow tupperware. No, and we've learned this actually happened
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: two weeks ago. There's a two week old story. It
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: didn't get out for two weeks. Now, nothing, I understand.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Nothing in celebrity culture is organic. It does not exist. Now,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: organic is a marketing term, we should point that out,
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: But organic is you know what organic is? An organic
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: proposal is going to Now this guy we met Dante
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: in Vegas and his plan, he's going to do this.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, this guy's going to become loaded, rich,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: loaded guy with waffle house. He's going to open the
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: first waffle house in Vegas. So the organic way to
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: propose is to ten years from now, go to Dante's
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: waffle House in Vegas in the parking lot at three
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: in the morning while eating the sausage egg gritz bowl
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  Speaker 1: and you've got the ring still in the You got
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: the ring and he came out of a plastic claw machine.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: The engagement ring came out of a plastic claw machine
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: from inside. And then that's the engagement. Now, this, this
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: was all the Kelsey engagement was obviously chorey craft. It
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: was I would say, months in the making, knowing a
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: little bit about how that world works. And you had
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: Taylor Swift's people. You've got Kelsey's got people. See, I
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: don't have people like when you're that fit, you got people.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: I don't have people. You know, we don't. I don't
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: have that. But they got people. You had the jeweler involved,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: So there's a jeweler. You know people. You know, there's
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: got to be a back. So everyone loves a story, right,
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: You go to restaurants, and the menus at the restaurants are.
• 16:22
  Speaker 6: Well, here's our story about huh. We became you know,
• 16:25
  Speaker 6: love bla blah blah. We learned how to make fighter
• 16:27
  Speaker 6: training Alfredo in Italy while drunk. You know, it's an
• 16:30
  Speaker 6: old family. Everyone's got to have a story, right, Everyone
• 16:32
  Speaker 6: loves a story. We learned from stories. It's very big deal.
• 16:34
  Speaker 6: So you gotta have a story. It's it's not just
• 16:36
  Speaker 6: an engagement ring. There's a story to it.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Right, It's got some special meaning that will come out.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: It's all hands on deck, all hands on deck. And uh.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: And of course it's not a love story so much,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: even though Justin and Cincinnati told me it was a
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: love story and Robbie the Mariner fan. It's an event.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: It's an event, and yet it's it's also in a
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: weird way. It is sporty, right, That's the part that
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: kind of fascinates me. This is somehow he's sports story,
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  Speaker 1: but apparently it is. And page two, will there be
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: a prenup? Will there be a prenup between Taylor Swift
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: and Travis Kelsey? Okay, so it does a humpback whale
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: swim in the ocean? Does a humpback will Swift? Course?
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: But he just saw Tyreek Hill who got married for
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: was his seventeen months, and he gave the woman he
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: was with five hundred thousand dollars for seventeen months, plus
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: like twenty grand a month to spend, because we all
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: need twenty grand a month to spend, plus a five
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: million dollar house, plus lawyer fees, plus this plan. So
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: you cant dollars to donuts, dollars to absolutely right, come
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: on now, of course you better believe there is going
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: to be a prenup here that Taylor Swift's legal team,
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: her lawyers, have already drafted a prenup up that I
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: believe runs longer than the United States Constitution. It's it's
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: bigger than the US Constitution. And Travis Kelce is rich.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: It's not like Travis Kelsey doesn't have money. He's rich. However,
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Taylor Swift is wealthy. There is a difference between rich
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: and wealthy, and that's the that's the point of de marcation, right,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: that's the point of demarket. So does this engagement end
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: in marriage? Not all engagements end in marriage. History tells
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: us that when it comes to celebrity engagements, it's a
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: benny versus the penny situation. It's a coin flip, it's
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: a COI has Taylor Swift already written a song about this?
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: How about that? You think she's already got a song
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: in the tank?
• 18:42
  Speaker 6: Hell?
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, it's either on her phones notes app, like
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I put a lot of stuff on my notes app
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: on my phone, Like I'll have a random thought. I
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: was driving in and I had there was something I
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: wanted to ran about on the on the podcast. I'm
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: gonna save it for this weekend. But there was something
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: I say saw that really annoyed me. And I use
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: my weekend podcast this is therapy to complain about things
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: that annoyed me. So I saw this and I said,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: I want to rant about that because that really annoyed me.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: So I'll do that at some point this weekend. But
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: I used the notes mean so she's probably put it
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: on there, or other people wrote the song for her,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: or maybe it's already been recorded. Who knows? Will they Elope?
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Will they? Absolutely not? You think they're going to Elope.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: They're not eloping. They're not going to the Elvis Chapel
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: in Vegas with our favorite taxi cab driver from Boston
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: who lives in Vegas. He's not gonna take him to
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: the Elvis chapel for a shotgun wedding that is not happening.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: And I've been told by people that are very important,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: and this is American Royalty. This is an American royal wedding.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: We've never had an American royal wedding. They put those
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: other weddings from Europe on and they get big numbers,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: big numbers, and so this thing will be It'll be televised, commercialized.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: You'll have the Swifties all over it, right, they'll be there.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: You've got the Chiefs Kingdom and Kelsey's crowd. They'll be
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: blending together in one giant ven diagram right there, adoring fans.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Oh my, wonderful. And of course I am not a
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: fan of either. I don't hate either or anything like that.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: But I'll just be along for the ride here. Some
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: of you have sent me email telling me that Travis
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Kelsey made a deal with the devil and he's a
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: lizard person. Now, so maybe that's the case. I don't
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: know if that's the case or not. But listen, I'll
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: consume this. I'm in the content business. I will consume it.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: I will mock it. That's what I do. I get
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: paid to consume things. And to mock things. And I'll
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: either secretly love it or hate it, or maybe a
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: little bit of both. And that's fine. That's the business
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: I've chosen. That's what we do here. That's also what
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: you do as well. We all have strong opinions. It's
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: the culture, and you know it's sports, but it's not
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: sports except when it is sports. And now I got
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: to tell you personally, I have not this is something
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: that's changed in my life time. I have not understood
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: the obsession of the tight end celebrity. I don't understand.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: It's something that did not exist in my childhood. This
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: is a thing that has happened as I've grown and
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: become an adult. I guess I'm not smart enough to
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: figure it out. But back in my day, here's a
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: back in my day story. A tight end was a
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: glorified offensive lineman. That's what a tight end was. And
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: occasionally the tight end would catch a pass, but really
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: only if the quarterback got bored, they'd throw the tight
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: end a pass, and that's about it. That's about it.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Now they're dating pop stars, Now they're engaging in the
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: hosting podcasts. They're on television like Gronkowski and all that stuff,
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: and they're auditioning for roles in movies. These tight ends.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: What a amazing dichotomy from what it had been the
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: tight end position. Travis Kelsey's out there, he's galloping around
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: like a golden retriever who found a glitter cannon. And
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: that's pretty much like now now the last word on
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: this on a newbie night, the last word, does Chiefs
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: tight end Travis Kelsey's engagement? Did Taylor Swift mean asta
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: la vista? The twenty twenty five NFL season is going
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: to be all she wrote? Is that?
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: It?
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: So? If you look at this from thirty thousand feet
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: up in the sky, Travis Kelsey is going the old
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Aerosmith Piece Out farewell tour. He's doing the old peace
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Out farewell tour on this. Before he trades in the playbook,
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: he's going to give the playbook back and he's going
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: to get some horribly cheesy movie scripts. And you can
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: play another waiter in a future Adam Sandler movie. Knock
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: yourself out here. Now, the Chiefs will not say their
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: brass will not say retirement the R word. They won't
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: say retirement, but I promise you they're already preparing a statue,
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: whether it be at Arrowhead or whether it be at
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: another venue in the Greater Kansas City slash Kansas you
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: know across the state line there in the Greater Kansas
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: City area. Well, we have a lot of friends, you know,
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: the show has done very well there. I recommend when
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: they get the wedding, I believe the people that should
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: take care of the food. Everyone's worried about wedding food.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: What better at the Travis Kelcey wedding to Taylor Swift
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: than the landing in Liberty, Missouri? Serving Ben Mallard chicken
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: fingers at the Kelsey Taylor Swift wedding. Perfect, They're right there.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: It's a people think of Kansas City as a barbecue city,
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: but really it's a in many ways, it's more of
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: a chicken finger city. Would just be perfect, would just
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: be absolutely perfect. But you'll get a statue, get a
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: you know, the old tribute video and all this stuff.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: Now this is not just ran them late night speculation
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: is not. It is the slow motion exit, the slow
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: motion and then you've got the Swifties soundtrack that's playing
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: underneath this and Kelsey's body kind of like the Haunted
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Mansion at Disney's creaking a little bit, a little bit.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: His yards per catch numbers going down, down, down, down, down, down,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: down down down. That Super Bowl performance, my god, that
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: was about as flat as a Taylor Swift final record.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: That was wow. My god. Now, Kelsey, not only is
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: he aging in front of our eyes, he's also his
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: future is this he's auditioning. This is his future as
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: a distant relative of Nostradamis and friend of Nostra Denas.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: He lives in Seattle. I saw him again. We had
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: a pow wow in Vegas with his wife, whose very
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: nice woman, except she's a vegan anyway, so vegetarian being
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: in the same anyway, to me, it's the same thing.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: So here's the future of Travis Kelcey. I've looked into
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: the future. His future is auditioning for the role of
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: former athlete Number three in the upcoming Netflix rom com
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: to be named later. That's what he's got in the future.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: And he's got I know, he's got his little Meatthead podcast,
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: I know, the meathead megaphone. You guys love jock talk,
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: and there you go, got Travis Kelcey and his other
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: meathead brother, Jason Kelcey. The two meatheads, two slobs of
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: meat right there, slabs of meat talking, and they can
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: riff a couple of retired dudes and have that little
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: ring light on. And that's the way to do it right.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Everyone loves audio content. Everyone's got a podcast these days.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Why not Travis Kelcey, He'll be going out like a
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Roman candle, Just like a Roman candle here, a loud,
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: flashy and slightly off target, just a little off target.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: And then in retirement, Travis Kelcey can ride Taylor Swift's
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: be jeweled body suits right right, why not? And uh
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: kick pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: and all that stuff. So Kelsey's storybook ending. That's it.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: It'll be storyboarded somewhere in Burbank at one of the
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: studios over there in Burbank, and a big movie coming
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: to a theater near you.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Now,
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: Mailor's Mountain of Money. Hell, do you have what it
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: takes to get to the top? Probably not?
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: And right to the game we go. Let's welcome in
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: our contestants.
• 26:43
  Speaker 6: We have.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Who do we have here? We have Uncle Ma who's
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: in Jersey now no longer in Brooklyn. He's moved over
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: to Jersey. What's going on, Uncle Mal?
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Good morning, Ben?
• 26:54
  Speaker 7: Looking forward to the football season, hoping to make bound
• 26:56
  Speaker 7: fasts as legal Jets might go seventeen to zero.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, if the other team only plays with ten players,
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: they might go seven seventeen. Uh and uh oh? Who
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: do you want to partner with the great Uncle Moe?
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: I hope, I'm not roughly, Ben, I'm gonna go with you,
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: all right.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: Spin a while, it spin a while, all right, you're
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: gonna play. And we have JJ in Renton. Hello, JJ, oh, man,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: have been a long time. Man, It has been too long. JJ.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: You work the dreaded swing chip. But you're back. You're
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: gonna be with Cooper loop. Alright, JJ, right, yeah, all right,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: I don't have time to do small talk.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: All right, let's do it like tobrocos though. That's fine.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: All right, let's let's play the game here. Lock everyone
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: in one of the categories quickly cool. All right.
• 27:43
  Speaker 7: This is the Melissa McCarthy addition. She turns fifty five
• 27:45
  Speaker 7: years old today. Categories are the third wheel, the nines, bride'smaids,
• 27:51
  Speaker 7: and this is forty uncle, know you run first?
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: Which category would you like?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: Third wheel?
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: The third wheel?
• 27:57
  Speaker 7: Alright, and JJ, how about you lap?
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: What is the object? Do you want? The nines Brian's maids?
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: Or this is forty? This?
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Okay? All right, all right, very good, let's go forty.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: What are forty five seconds o'clock? These athletes were typically
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: overshadowed by a duo of teammates. Uncle more, Are you ready? Yes,
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: all right, here we go. Known as the Beard. He
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: plays with the Clippers. Now, he was with the Rock Yes,
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: he was with the Miami Heat with Dwayne Wade. Yes,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: voy guard from France for the Spurs when they had Duncan. Yes,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: wide receiver for the Patriots. He's on Fox now slot
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: wide receiver. Yes, running back for the forty nine ers.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: Also the same name of the manager of the Giants
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: in the eighties, the San Francisco Giants running back for
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: the Knights with Joe Montana All right, no wide receiver
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: for the Packers. Last name is like a salad with
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: Brett Farvar and Aaron Rodgers. Last name is like a salad.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: The scooter for the Yankee in the nineteen. Yes, all right,
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: you got that one. A wide receiver for the Green
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: Bay Packers. Last name like a famous.
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: Cool seat them again, man, because I could barely hear here.
• 29:11
  Speaker 5: Man, he's found.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: By the robot.
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: Roger Craig was what you missed? And Randall Kah, I
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: like that.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: JJ knows he's going to lose.
• 29:18
  Speaker 7: All right, JJ, JJ, We've got this is forty. These
• 29:21
  Speaker 7: athletes are currently forty years old. Whether retired or active,
• 29:25
  Speaker 7: they're forty years old. Right now, are you ready?
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: JJ?
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Joe?
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 29:29
  Speaker 7: Forty five seconds to begin quarterback for the Falcons. He
• 29:32
  Speaker 7: threw to Julio Jones. He's retired now. Matt Ryan, Yes,
• 29:37
  Speaker 7: this guy was one of the all time great running backs.
• 29:39
  Speaker 7: He was on the Vikings, ran for two thousand yards.
• 29:43
  Speaker 7: He hit his son with a with a stick.
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, yes, all right.
• 29:49
  Speaker 7: This guy was the point guard for the Lob City Clippers.
• 29:52
  Speaker 7: He's still in the NBA.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: It's not Clay Thompson. It's I can't remember.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: He's on State farm commercials. All right, all right, all right,
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: this guy, this guy was Powe's brother, Powe from the Lakers.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: Kyle.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: No, all right, this guy had the.
• 30:10
  Speaker 7: Same name as pac Man in the NFL, but he
• 30:13
  Speaker 7: was named me an MLB player terrible.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: JJ just wants to say I'm cheating, all right, he
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: sucked at the game.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: Chris, Chris Paul is who you missed a right?
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: Why you want that? You want the nines or bridesmaids?
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: You want nines or bridesmaids. JJ, I'll go to nine.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: All right, it's all war number nine. Let's go. Current
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: quarterback for the Bengals.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: Uh.
• 30:41
  Speaker 7: Yes, this guy was the quarterback for the Saints. He's
• 30:43
  Speaker 7: gonna be in the Hall of Fame. Yes, this guy
• 30:46
  Speaker 7: was the kicker for the Ravens. He likes uh the
• 30:49
  Speaker 7: massage Parlors.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, all right.
• 30:54
  Speaker 7: This guy was the point guard for the Celtics championship
• 30:56
  Speaker 7: team with Kevin Garnett.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: It was uh.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: He later came to the Lakers.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Hit the point guard board.
• 31:16
  Speaker 7: Jeez, guy hit for last, got to hit four hundred
• 31:18
  Speaker 7: in baseball, the last.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Guy to hit four Yeah, ound, we had a little time.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: You sucked. You sucked, jed. You never never played this
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: game again, I didn't she you didn't get any right
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: brides may here we go. These athletes all made it
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: to the championship game and nemb Won. Uh here we
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: go quickly. We have a full board, but let's go.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Uh Uncle Moe play with the Red Sox. Was a
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: rookie year played with the California Angels. Also hit the
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: first Grand Slam in an All Star game in the
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: No White Guy, No, Yeah, you got a right, Fred
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: the guy. We want the guy.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: Uncle