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#404 The Routine Parents - Brett & Tony · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
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  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers.
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  Speaker 2: Now, what was the first big challenge when you brought
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  Speaker 2: the babies home from hospital?
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  Speaker 3: The first bath was probably a little bit and a
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  Speaker 3: bit of a challenge, just getting used to the nappism
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  Speaker 3: the way we did we did. I think I've been
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  Speaker 3: weed on probably four times and pooed on about four
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  Speaker 3: times like you.
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  Speaker 4: No, I haven't done that for a while, so I
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  Speaker 4: must have learned. You know, you've got to hold the
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  Speaker 4: dicky bird down.
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  Speaker 1: And now here's the scars of our show, my mom
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  Speaker 1: and dad.
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  Speaker 5: Gooday, this is doctor Justin Colson. I'm on my own today.
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  Speaker 5: Normally I would have missus Happy Families, my wife and
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  Speaker 5: mum to our six kids joining me as you know,
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  Speaker 5: so that we can have a talk about whatever it
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  Speaker 5: is that we've got to talk about today for parenting. Unfortunately,
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  Speaker 5: as is the case when you have a big family,
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  Speaker 5: sometimes well you can't.
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  Speaker 6: Be in two places at once.
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  Speaker 5: So Kyle is not with me today, which I'm really
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  Speaker 5: bummed about because after all of the excitement, all the
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  Speaker 5: enthusiastic things that the huge response that we've had to
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  Speaker 5: this fantastic TV show on Channel nine parental Guidance. We
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  Speaker 5: have Brett and Tony, dads to four nine year old boys,
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  Speaker 5: and finalists in the crowded House, joining me for today's
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  Speaker 5: Happy Families podcast.
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  Speaker 6: Morning gentlemen, morning, justin how it is so great to
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  Speaker 6: talk to you.
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  Speaker 5: Now for those of those of our podcast listeners who
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  Speaker 5: have not been able to watch the show or perhaps
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  Speaker 5: missed your story, and they hang, hang on, hang We've
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  Speaker 5: got Brett and Tony and there's four boys age nine.
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  Speaker 5: Can you just give us the short version of how
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  Speaker 5: you two guys ended up with four nine year old
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  Speaker 5: I mean they didn't start nine years old.
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  Speaker 6: Obviously you've had them from the beginning. How do you
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  Speaker 6: end up with four?
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  Speaker 5: Sorry, I still struggle to say it. I've got six
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  Speaker 5: of my own kids, but I can't imagine. I used
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  Speaker 5: to want twins and then we had one and we're like, oh,
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  Speaker 5: thank goodness, we didn't have twins.
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  Speaker 6: You've got quads, Yes, yes we have.
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  Speaker 3: I don't know whether we can make it a short story,
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  Speaker 3: but anyway, our trauma. So Brett and I've been together,
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  Speaker 3: were actually met at high school, being sort of best
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  Speaker 3: friends since high school since year eleven. We got together
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  Speaker 3: as a couple when we were about twenty eight, and
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  Speaker 3: probably since then really we wanted we wanted children, but
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  Speaker 3: we first sort of looked into it when we sort
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  Speaker 3: of first got together for a couple of years, but
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  Speaker 3: it was sort of out of our reach financially at
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  Speaker 3: that time. You could only do it in sort of
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  Speaker 3: America or Canada. That's surrogacy, and it was out of
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  Speaker 3: our reach. And then probably you know, sometime after that
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  Speaker 3: ten years or so, we found out that you could
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  Speaker 3: actually do surrogacy in India and it was within our means,
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  Speaker 3: within our financial means.
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  Speaker 4: So we looked into a little bit and yeah, we
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  Speaker 4: started the process.
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  Speaker 7: We had several attempts prior to success, and then in
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  Speaker 7: the end the doctor said to us, look, I think,
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  Speaker 7: you know, let's sort of utilize a new egg donor.
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  Speaker 8: Let's try a new egg donor, some new surrogates, and
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  Speaker 8: we'll try again.
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  Speaker 4: So they already had.
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  Speaker 8: Our deposits over there from last time, and they tried
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  Speaker 8: it again and.
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  Speaker 4: Bing bang boom, there you go.
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  Speaker 5: So two separate egg donors, two separate mums, a set
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  Speaker 5: of twins.
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  Speaker 4: One egg donors.
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  Speaker 3: So the boys are actually half biological brothers. All right,
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  Speaker 3: so it was one egg donor, yeah, two surrogates and
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  Speaker 3: then two are biologically breads and two are biologically mine.
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  Speaker 6: Oh that's fascinating.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah wow.
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  Speaker 5: And so you ended up with not just two sets
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  Speaker 5: of twins, but they were born literally the same day.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: So I think Jagan and Taram were born at about
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  Speaker 3: twelve thirty nine AM or something and just to midnight.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, and Guy.
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  Speaker 8: And aj were born at about five pm that afternoon.
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  Speaker 4: So I had the time the clinic that we went through.
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  Speaker 8: They were the longest gestational period that had for a tweet,
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  Speaker 8: So they made it to thirty eight weeks.
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  Speaker 6: Were you guys there for the birth?
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  Speaker 4: Yes, we were.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah. Emotional, Yeah, it was very emotional.
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  Speaker 4: Actually yeah, there was lots of tears. Yeah. Yeah.
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  Speaker 8: Well nine to now have been digging into the archives
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  Speaker 8: and they just dug out our story when we were
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  Speaker 8: on a current affair. So I saw that on Google today.
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  Speaker 2: Two gay dads, four newborn baby boys, one unusual family,
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  Speaker 2: a modern miracle delivered by an Indian fertility clinic given
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  Speaker 2: them a.
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  Speaker 9: Tony and Britt.
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  Speaker 2: You've been home for a couple of weeks, now, how's
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  Speaker 2: it all going good.
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  Speaker 3: We've had lots and lots of support from family and friends.
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  Speaker 3: But the two nights that we did have, we managed
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  Speaker 3: to get about five hours sleep, which was fantastic.
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  Speaker 4: And yeah, and that went really, really well. We've had
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  Speaker 4: a lot of visitors too, obviously.
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  Speaker 8: And I think they've been pleasantly surprised at how collected
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  Speaker 8: we've been.
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  Speaker 4: And I've even surprised myself.
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  Speaker 5: So that's fantastic and just it's such an extraordinary story.
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  Speaker 5: Let me ask a question that I'm sure a lot
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  Speaker 5: of people are wondering, and I hope it's not impolied
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  Speaker 5: me to ask.
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  Speaker 6: We don't see a lot of gay dads.
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  Speaker 5: You guys won a lot of hearts in the show
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  Speaker 5: as people saw your fun and your delight, and obviously
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  Speaker 5: you're clear love for these four boys. What made you
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  Speaker 5: want kids so badly? Because it's not something that we
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  Speaker 5: see and hear heaps about.
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  Speaker 3: I think I think Breton, Brett and I have always
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  Speaker 3: sort of loved kids always, you know, I suppose that
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  Speaker 3: was always a dream of ours. But but you know,
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  Speaker 3: as I said earlier, we or as I said, we
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  Speaker 3: looked into it, it was outside of our means. We
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  Speaker 3: sort of resigned ourselves to the fact that we weren't
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  Speaker 3: going to have children, so we.
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  Speaker 4: Actually we looked at alternatives then.
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  Speaker 8: So I actually worked at the bank at a bank,
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  Speaker 8: and I just quick went left work and went back
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  Speaker 8: to school to be a primary school teacher. And I thought, oh,
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  Speaker 8: that'll give me me a fill of kids. I don't
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  Speaker 8: want to see a kid ever again after And you know,
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  Speaker 8: we did the Chiuas.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, we bred and we bred in Chuaas and showed Chuaas.
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  Speaker 4: So they were sort of our fur babies.
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  Speaker 5: Not the same though, are they. You can love dogs,
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  Speaker 5: but they're not the same as kids.
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  Speaker 4: No, no they're not.
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  Speaker 3: And you know, like you know, probably field a place
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  Speaker 3: in our hearts, but probably not quite to the depth
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  Speaker 3: that we wanted it to. And look, we just you know,
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  Speaker 3: my sister had kids, and people at work were having children,
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  Speaker 3: and it was just something like we really really sort
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  Speaker 3: of yearned to have children initially, and I sort of
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  Speaker 3: said to breath when the Indian sort of possibility came up.
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  Speaker 3: I said to Brett, you know, I think this is
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  Speaker 3: what I want to do. He initially was quite hesitant
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  Speaker 3: and said, no, you know, you.
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  Speaker 8: Were getting old justin that's what I was hesitant about
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  Speaker 8: I think we might be a bit too old for this.
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  Speaker 3: I said to Brett. I said to Brett, you can
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  Speaker 3: either come on this journey with me or without. And
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  Speaker 3: then he said, all right, let's go. If you do everything,
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  Speaker 3: because it was a pretty big process. He said, if
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  Speaker 3: you do everything, yeah, I'm with you, and yeah, I
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  Speaker 3: think it was the best decision we ever made.
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  Speaker 5: After the break, We're going to find out about Breton
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  Speaker 5: Tony's experience on Parental Guidance, their biggest learnings, the style
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  Speaker 5: that stood out of the most, and we're going to
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  Speaker 5: find out just how jealous they were about not being
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  Speaker 5: able to go camping in the Wilderness challenge.
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  Speaker 1: It's their Happy Families podcast.
• 7:50
  Speaker 9: Our Screens Creating Tension at Home, tweens, teens and Screens
• 7:54
  Speaker 9: is a webinar to guide families to healthy, safe superscreen
• 7:58
  Speaker 9: solutions by today at Happy families dot com, dot au
• 8:02
  Speaker 9: slash shop.
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: poor parent who just wants Answers Now. Predal Guidance has
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  Speaker 5: been this show that has captivated Australia for the last
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  Speaker 5: few weeks and a Channel nine show all about bringing
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  Speaker 5: ten different parenting styles together and finding out what works
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  Speaker 5: best for kids. It's doctor Justin Coulson without Kylie today.
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  Speaker 5: Unfortunately she couldn't be with us. Talking with Britain Tony
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  Speaker 5: the stars two of the stars of the show, The
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  Speaker 5: parenting style was routine Britain Tony. When you think about
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  Speaker 5: your experience on parental Guidance, what was your biggest learning
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  Speaker 5: from the show?
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  Speaker 3: Oh?
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  Speaker 8: Look, the major thing that stands out for me is
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  Speaker 8: your advice in relation to stranger danger and adults, you know,
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  Speaker 8: tricky adults that might be asking children for help. And
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  Speaker 8: because of course that was the most confronting challenge to watch,
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  Speaker 8: particularly for Usk, but we knew our kids were what
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  Speaker 8: they were going to do, but it was still hard
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  Speaker 8: to watch.
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  Speaker 4: So yeah, that was that was a big one.
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  Speaker 3: I think I think we've definitely learned though, definitely learned
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  Speaker 3: calmness and probably more sort of flexibility. Yeah, I think,
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  Speaker 3: you know, absolutely, since going on the show, we have
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  Speaker 3: learned a lot. You know, one of our boys probably
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  Speaker 3: is a little bit more challenging than the other three,
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  Speaker 3: So I think particularly with him, we've we now manage
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  Speaker 3: him much.
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  Speaker 4: Much better than what we used to. You know, we
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  Speaker 4: we we are.
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  Speaker 3: So I think we sort of had picked up quite
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  Speaker 3: a bit from the attachment parents too, to be honest,
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  Speaker 3: and the free range and the nature. Yeah, like I
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  Speaker 3: think we've just I think overall we've just learned to
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  Speaker 3: be better parents. I think as well. Like we went
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  Speaker 3: when we went on the show, we we there was
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  Speaker 3: no there was no perception from us all thought around
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  Speaker 3: that we were, you know, good parents or great parents.
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  Speaker 3: You know.
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  Speaker 4: We we went on the show thinking we actually have
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  Speaker 4: a lot to learn.
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  Speaker 6: Quick question for you guys before we wrap up.
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  Speaker 5: As well, when the Crowded House ended and we discovered
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  Speaker 5: that Britain Tony would not be going on the Wilderness
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  Speaker 5: Challenge camping overnight in freezing cold weather with real fire
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  Speaker 5: with the four kids, we disappointed just a bit.
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  Speaker 8: Absolutely not no, we've never been camping. We had bush fires,
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  Speaker 8: bonfires and stuff. We loved the bush but not the
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  Speaker 8: sleeping outside in the cold.
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  Speaker 4: Natanks. We're a bit like Donna from the French. We
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  Speaker 4: don't really do dare.
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  Speaker 8: But I'll tell you what, I would have loved to
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  Speaker 8: have seen Donna in their crowded house or in the
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  Speaker 8: wilderness and dealing with a twelve kids rather than just
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  Speaker 8: one cherub.
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  Speaker 4: That would have been hilarious.
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  Speaker 6: That's a really fun question.
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  Speaker 5: If you were to design the best made for reality
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  Speaker 5: TV crowded house, which families would you have put in there?
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  Speaker 4: Definitely the Frank Chess with their one child.
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  Speaker 8: He'd want to be classic to see how they handle
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  Speaker 8: a whole bunch of kids, for sure.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, you have one.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have put the Nature. I think the
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  Speaker 3: Nature would have been really definitely. I think we could
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  Speaker 3: have learned lots from the Nature. I think there would
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  Speaker 3: have been a lot of laughs too.
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  Speaker 8: And I also would have liked Debt from the homeschooling
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  Speaker 8: family because she's got so many kids.
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  Speaker 4: That would have been interesting to see how a single
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  Speaker 4: parent double up the number of kids.
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  Speaker 8: And well, if you've got Nature and you've got her where,
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  Speaker 8: you're way.
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  Speaker 4: Over twelve kids already. And then of course us we
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  Speaker 4: have to go as fast.
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  Speaker 6: You guys are massacres.
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  Speaker 5: I'm so glad you don't produce reality TV that I
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  Speaker 5: having to be fun to watch, but wow, to be
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  Speaker 5: hard for the parents. Guys, we need to wrap this up.
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  Speaker 5: One last question for you. It's been such a delightful conversation.
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  Speaker 5: You thought, my goodness, as if we'd go on that.
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  Speaker 5: When you saw it, Brett, you thought, this is a
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  Speaker 5: crazy show. Who's going to put their family up and
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  Speaker 5: go on national TV and hold up a mirror to
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  Speaker 5: themselves so that the entire nation can see the way
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  Speaker 5: they raise their kids. Now that you've done it, not
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  Speaker 5: that there's any hint at this point that there's going
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  Speaker 5: to be a season two, but would you recommend it?
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  Speaker 5: If there's a season two? Would you say to people
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  Speaker 5: get involved, like this is great?
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  Speaker 3: Absolutely, Like we we loved the whole like we love
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  Speaker 3: we love doing the challenges with the kids. It gave
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  Speaker 3: us some really fun opportunities to you know, to have
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  Speaker 3: some fun together as a family.
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  Speaker 4: You know, we grew that, like I.
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  Speaker 3: Think, you know, the kids feel like little superstars too
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  Speaker 3: at school.
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  Speaker 4: You know, we've had a and you know, we've had a.
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  Speaker 3: Really positive response from from from society in the community,
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  Speaker 3: which has been a really really positive thing for us.
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  Speaker 4: And also, you.
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  Speaker 3: Know, we went on the show thinking that we really
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: wanted to raise a when a send be visible to
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  Speaker 3: sort of support you know, rainbow families or you know,
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  Speaker 3: gay dads, and I think we've achieved that. So yeah,
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  Speaker 3: we're really happy and we absolutely recommend other parents' families
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  Speaker 3: go on it.
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  Speaker 8: People would have to think about it, but yeah, I
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  Speaker 8: definitely recommend it. As far as our experience, it's been
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  Speaker 8: great and it's been a very memorable time for us
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  Speaker 8: and the kids.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, something we will be able to have forever.
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: Our TV shows well Britain, Tony, our routine parents from
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: Parental Guidance.
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  Speaker 6: Great talking with you, Thanks so much for your time,
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  Speaker 6: Thanks so much, Justin.
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  Speaker 5: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer. And for
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: more information about making your family happier, stay tuned because
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: we've got some big news about Black Friday.
• 13:19
  Speaker 6: It's just around the corner.
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: And if you'd like to make your family happier, because
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: a happy family doesn't just happen, visit happy families dot
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: com dot a you