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Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet! · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Trick or treat smell my feet. It's one more thing.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: I'm strong andy, one more thing.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 0:10
  Speaker 4: Tomorrow, Trumble returned to the US and host the annual
• 0:13
  Speaker 4: White House Halloween party.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's.
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  Speaker 5: Exciting for trig or treatise because this year everyone gets
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  Speaker 5: a little piece of the East Wing.
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  Speaker 4: Oh.
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  Speaker 1: I think that's cool. There you are, hey, yell. Actually
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: somebody Joanah Goldberg of Dispatch had that idea the other day.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Like he said, he didn't really have a strong position
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: on the tearing down the White House thing, but that's
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: you know, you couldn't like take a wall of that
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: and put it in the Trump Presidential Library, or like
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: take chunks of it and sell it for charity, because
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: a lot of people would think it'd be cool to
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: have a chunk of the the East King. I would,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: h that's a pretty good idea, yeah, as opposed to
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: just knock it down and cart it off to the dump.
• 0:55
  Speaker 6: They tore the hospital I was born in down, and
• 0:58
  Speaker 6: I went up there and took a little piece of
• 0:59
  Speaker 6: it and gave it to my mom.
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  Speaker 2: Oh that's cool.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good story. Yeah. So I was gonna
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: talk Halloween because we don't record a podcast on Friday
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: out of pure laziness and wanting to leave work. So
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Halloween is tomorrow as the recording of this podcast occurs.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: My kids have past the age of like knock an
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: ondoorse trick or treating. But as Halloween has evolved over
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: the years and now bigger kids do different things. And
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: then when you get into your twenties and thirties, especially
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: if you're single, it's a full on It's the biggest
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: party night of the year. I actually just read that
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: the other day. It is now officially the biggest party
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: night of the year. Is Halloween, surpassing New Year's Eve obviously. Yeah,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: the long time champagne. Yeah. I just remembered an embarrassing
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: adult costume I war one time with a girlfriend. I
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: wonder why she signed on to this, but I was
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  Speaker 1: going to have everybody if you can reminisce, do you
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  Speaker 1: remember any of the the costumes you awore at any
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: point in your life?
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  Speaker 4: For how wow, I was a hobo year after a
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  Speaker 4: year after year. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I just I
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: was never I was never excited by or stimulated by
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: the idea of coming up with a great Halloween, even kid.
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  Speaker 3: Oh well, i'd have.
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  Speaker 4: God, when I was a little kid, I don't remember
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  Speaker 4: much about that, Like you.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Were't a baseball player or something some year and you're
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: really excited to go.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: How was that all the time? I don't, honestly, let
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: me think about it. Maybe something will click in my memory.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Did you not like candy?
• 2:38
  Speaker 6: Oh?
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  Speaker 3: I was pro candy, staunchly pro candy.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I just I can think of like my adolescent years,
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: in high school years. Part of it was I was
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: too damn busy, just spend a lot of time. Like
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: I had a good friend who snubbed me not too
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: many years ago, who uh, spent an enormous amount of
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: time and effort creating one of the creature from one.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Of the Star Wars movies.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: This was when we were in high school and the
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  Speaker 4: Star Wars thing was huge in the late seventies, I guess,
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: and I admired it in all, but I thought, I'm
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: never gonna spend hour after hour, day after day crafting
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: that to trot it out and impress people on Halloween.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I just you are a curmudgeon, man. My kids were
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: so into it when they were little. God, they really
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: really got a thrill.
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  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, my god, I can picture my little kids.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: The excitement of being in a Batman costume. Yeah, was
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: like an hour's long electric charge that ran through my son.
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  Speaker 1: It's something to watch, the picking it out, the wearing
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  Speaker 1: it for a couple of days ahead of time, and
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  Speaker 1: then that night, I da when you go out door
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: to door and they got the cosum on.
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  Speaker 3: It's just it's showtime.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's some time and they are so thrilled. The
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  Speaker 1: only Well, go ahead, Michael, what do you remember?
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Well, I had an unfortunate incident. This is a true story.
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  Speaker 5: As a kid, I wanted to make my own costume.
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  Speaker 5: I thought, you know, I'm gonna be cool. I'm gonna
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  Speaker 5: make my own costume. I decaid I was gonna be
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: a ghost. So I took a white sheet and cut
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: out eyes, and it didn't look like I was a ghost.
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  Speaker 5: It looked like I was a clan member.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: People were taking pictures and my mom was showing pictures up.
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  Speaker 5: You know, Hey, this was you know what the kids
• 4:09
  Speaker 5: did for Halloween, And everybody was horrified thinking that I
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: dressed up like a KKK.
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  Speaker 6: Wow, Michael True Colors, Huh.
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  Speaker 2: No, It's just I wasn't good at crafts.
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  Speaker 3: That's all.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not a racistem poor with crafts, Katie.
• 4:24
  Speaker 6: Okay, Well, the movie Pocahontas, the Disney movie came out
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  Speaker 6: in nineteen ninety five, and so I.
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: Was, my god, you are not going to admit to
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  Speaker 4: cultural appropriation right now?
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  Speaker 1: Are no? Wait? Wait for this.
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  Speaker 6: My mother is the is the punchline of this story.
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  Speaker 1: You dressed in brown face, no no, I.
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  Speaker 6: White and my hair was like bleached blonde when I
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  Speaker 6: was younger. So I dressed up as Pocahontas, and my
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  Speaker 6: mom proceeded to tell everyone that year that I was
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  Speaker 6: Poka honky.
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  Speaker 3: Wow h.
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  Speaker 1: I know. My neighbor kids are got a classic going.
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  Speaker 1: The boy. They're like five and seven. The boy is
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: gonna be Darth Vader and the girl is gonna be
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  Speaker 1: snow White, and it's.
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  Speaker 3: Just so awesome.
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  Speaker 1: My only kid memory that I like.
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  Speaker 3: Now, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
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  Speaker 4: Was she gonna be the old timey sweet snow White
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  Speaker 4: or the snarking latinx woke snow White of the recent
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  Speaker 4: attempt at a movie?
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  Speaker 1: I would assume this family, it's the snow White classic,
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  Speaker 1: the only one I actually remember from my childhood. Before
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I get to some of the adult Halloween the uh.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: For some reason, only one memory sticks out, and it's
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  Speaker 1: from South Dakota. So I must have been four because
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: we moved then. So I was four years old marching
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: in a parade. It was freezing freaking cold outside, as
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: it would be in South Dakota, basically November. But I
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: was dressed as a hobo, and and I marched in
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  Speaker 1: this parade. My parents let me march in, and I
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: remember my dad was like walking along on the sidewalk.
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  Speaker 1: I was in the parade, and he was like keeping
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  Speaker 1: track of me. I guess because I was three years
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  Speaker 1: old in my home outfit and the pitch dark the Midwest,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: so it's pitch dark outside.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: What bad devisions had you made from birthtage three and
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: a half that to her becoming a homeless vagabond.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Made a lot of bad decisions, just endless bad decisions.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Got on the meth, got on the pipe, and that's
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  Speaker 1: what happens. I remember I had this pillow under my
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: shirt and everything like that, So I was like a
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: fat hobo and I'd stop.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: Almost are crazy skinny. Now they don't have the valet,
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  Speaker 4: But back in the day.
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  Speaker 1: Your kid would dress as a homeless person for Halloween
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  Speaker 1: to get Yeah, it's kind of hilarious. Then I remember
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  Speaker 1: once when I was older, when I was like thirteen,
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  Speaker 1: too old a trick or treat, but I still wanted
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  Speaker 1: to participate in Halloween. I tried to dress as an
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: old woman, and then when kids would come to the door,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I would try to come to the door as a
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  Speaker 1: kind of old woman, but then fall and have a
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  Speaker 1: major fall of the old They're supposed to be horrified
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  Speaker 1: that an elderly person fell. I guess was my whole routine.
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  Speaker 3: Great comedy.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not sure I fooled anybody. But as I got
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  Speaker 1: into later an adult, because Joe got married when he
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: was seventeen, but I was, I was out in single
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  Speaker 1: for quite a while and I had a number of girlfriends.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Were the super hot slutty Halloween costumes, which I was
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  Speaker 1: all for. That's fantastic, you know, slutty witch, sludy snow white,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: slutty whatever, bloody nurse, slutty nurse. But one year, for
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: some reason, I don't know how I got convinced in this,
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  Speaker 1: because it's not me. I was a French maid. I
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: wore a French maid costume. What yeah, I know why
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I got convinced of that. Someone convinced you too well.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I find it hard to believe it was my idea.
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  Speaker 1: I just remember that I did.
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  Speaker 4: It was that the girlfriend who turned out to be
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  Speaker 4: a lesbian. I don't actually remember again because it's taken
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: shape here, it's all starting to do in the math.
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  Speaker 1: It got a lot of laughs because I was not
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  Speaker 1: an attractive French maid and I had the feather duster
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  Speaker 1: that could.
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  Speaker 3: Go on, that's funny and everything.
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  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I didn't wear any sort of girlish shoes.
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  Speaker 1: I think that was a step two farm.
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  Speaker 6: I was Sandy from Greece one year.
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  Speaker 1: Oh that's a good one.
• 8:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but slutty, but slutty Sandy, Sandy one at the
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  Speaker 6: end of the movie.
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  Speaker 1: Because the whole point of that movie is you couldn't
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: get the guy until she, you know, started smoking cigarettes,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: wearing heels and leather and became slutty.
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  Speaker 3: That was the one I was, Yeah, exactly.
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  Speaker 4: When she was her authentic self, sweet and innocent, she
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  Speaker 4: was undeserving of the love.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: Of a man, right, sure, right, I don't know.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I don't want my kids eating a bunch of candy
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: at this age. I don't want candy in the house.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: My son, who my oldest son, has got like a
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: party to go to a high school party. My thirteen
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  Speaker 1: year old wants to stay home and watch scary movies.
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  Speaker 1: I haven't decided what.
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  Speaker 3: We're gonna watch yet.
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  Speaker 1: I'm thinking poulter Geist. He hasn't seen that. That's a
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: pretty scary movie. I love poulter Geist.
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  Speaker 3: I don't.
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  Speaker 4: I don't remember that one at all. I've never been
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: into horror movies. But which one's that? What's the broad
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: outlines of that? Is that the little girl with the TV.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Or they're back, Yeah, the TV? And uh yeah, it's
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: it's more paranormal than horror movie. I'm not really a
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: slasher sneaks into your house and kills you in your sleep.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: I know, I don't really dig that. I know.
• 9:29
  Speaker 6: This is a new, uh new neighborhood.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Do you guys all for you, Jack?
• 9:33
  Speaker 6: Do you get trigger treaders? You guys?
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna call the sex so I'll get a few.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Okay, not very many though not for years. Yeah, any,
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  Speaker 3: it's kind of a trage.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I lived in a neighborhood for a while where we
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: got lots of trigger treaters, and it was great. It
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: was really fun. And uh that those couple of years
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: was great because my neighbor he had kids, but they
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: would go out with his wife and we would sit
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: on the porch and get hammered. We did that like
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: four years in a row, good times when I was
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: still drinking. I didn't have kids, and we would just
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: sit on the porch and drink for hours. Kids can look,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: We're gonna have evil spirits, just spirits, and I'd be
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  Speaker 1: seen by the end of the night.
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  Speaker 4: We lived in a neighborhood a number of years ago
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  Speaker 4: that had a rep for being a great trick or
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: treating neighborhood, and car loads and car loads of kids
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: from like all over the Metro area would descend on
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: our neighborhood and I couldn't decide what I thought of that.
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: I mean, you saw a hell of a lot of
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: you know, cute kids and all, but it was it
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: was like the adults getting free candy for themselves, putting
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: their kids to work in the candy mines.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: That's what it felt like.
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: And sometimes you get the parents themselves walk up trick
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: or treat and the kid would be like back on
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: the sidewalk. It's just a complicated EBT program, right, exactly, Yeah, experience.
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: I can't remember what costumes that were as a kid,
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: but I can feel like my hot breath condensed on
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: the plastic mask with the tiny.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Little mouth hole.
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: I can't remember what mask it would have been.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, back then, this is I don't know, this might
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: be before your times, Katie, butit but like the costumes
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Joe and I would get going to sears or whatever,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: every costume was exactly the same. Is just a different
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: print on the plastic sheeting you wore that looked like
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Aquaman or Superman or Count Dracula or whatever. You're with
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: your plastic mask that were all the same with the
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: tiny little mouth hole and the tiny little eye holes
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: to make it easier to get hit by a car.
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: The plastic masks had no breathing hole and you couldn't see,
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: so you'd get hit by a car. And if God forbid,
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: you got anywhere close to a flame, the plastic that
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: it was made out of would just go kerbluey, And.
• 11:42
  Speaker 6: If none of that happened, you'd suffocate.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Yes, and the painful strap around the mask behind your
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: head that wasn't good if you were big headed, yes, Michael.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Plus they would smell. I don't know if you remember to
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: have that plasticy smell if you had a really bad.
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: One, fumes were great for you. Yeah, how you got
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: cancer from?
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: The reason I got cancer is probably all the plastic
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: masks here after a year. I was at the Halloween
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: store the other day. It's interesting, the whole macabre. And
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I know there's a psychological reason why we play out
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: these fears to help deal with them or whatever that is.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: But gosh, all kinds of like, here's a guy who's
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: gonna come up behind you and stab you to death.
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: It's just ah, why is that entertaining a little close
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: to home?
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: No kid out in a world with all the crazy
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: junkies running around. Okay, is this a Halloween movie or
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: is this a clip from the news this evening.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Quick thing even now? Or as a kid, if you
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: put out your pumpkin, what candy would you most like
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: them to put in your pumpkin?
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: Uh? Back in the day, Snickers was a big win.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: That good candy.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Snickers is pretty good. I like a peanut butter cup.
• 12:49
  Speaker 6: Okay, see, I was just gonna say, mine's tied between
• 12:52
  Speaker 6: a Reese's Peanut butter cup and a Snickers.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Peanut butter cup is damn good. I'm old enough that
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: like Grandma's were making popcorn balls or maybe actual caramel apples,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: like they'd make homemade treats.
• 13:02
  Speaker 6: Dude, there was a dentist down the street from me
• 13:04
  Speaker 6: to get out toothbrushes.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: I hated going to that guy's.
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: Oh jeez, screw you, dick, there's a half dozen eggs
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: for your trouble.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Run run well.
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: Back in the day, I'd eat a whole bag at
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: kit Cat bars, but these days it cost me a
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: toe or two.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Good diabetes joke there to end with, Well, I guess
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: that's it.