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The DUMB Ways YOU HURT YOURSELF · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

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  Speaker 1: We're going to get to dumb ways you hurt yourself.
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  Speaker 1: But first, I want to give you an update on
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Mark Goss.
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  Speaker 2: Okay.
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  Speaker 1: Mark Goss is a guy. I was giving Rich's number.
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  Speaker 1: I was off by one digit when I gave Rich's
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  Speaker 1: number to somebody. So I called Mark Goss. He didn't
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  Speaker 1: pick up. He refused to pick up. I Googled him.
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  Speaker 1: There's three Mark Gosses.
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  Speaker 2: Okay.
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  Speaker 1: One is a lawyer. Uh-huh. One is a kayak champion fisherman.
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  Speaker 1: That's sweet. And the other one is a podiatrist.
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  Speaker 3: A foot doctor? Kayak legend, though. You don't meet many
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  Speaker 3: kayak legends. Bass fisher, fisherman. He's on a kayak fishing.
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  Speaker 3: No wonder he can't answer his phone. Let's hope it's
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  Speaker 3: that one. He's out there tackling the waves.
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  Speaker 1: I don't want to be a lawyer guy. You just
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  Speaker 1: need to get some sort of cease and desist.
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  Speaker 3: My phone number next door neighbor is a badass.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.
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  Speaker 3: I know.
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  Speaker 1: Anyway, dumb ways you hurt yourself. We're going to get
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  Speaker 1: into why Kyle hurt herself, Rich hurt himself. But Tina,
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  Speaker 1: what's a dumb way you hurt yourself?
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  Speaker 4: Oh, my goodness.
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  Speaker 3: Okay.
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  Speaker 2: Okay.
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  Speaker 4: So picture this. I'm in my office in my house
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  Speaker 4: on my treadmill, and I got footloose going in my earbuds,
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  Speaker 4: and I'm just going away. And I tripped, hit the
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  Speaker 4: side of the treadmill, flew into the closet door. The
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  Speaker 4: closet door fell on top of me, landed on my head,
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  Speaker 4: knocked me out. And then when I woke up, I
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  Speaker 4: had to crawl to the phone to call 911.
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  Speaker 3: You poor thing.
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  Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh. Oh, it was a mess. I had
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  Speaker 4: the worst bruises ever. And road burns all over my body.
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  Speaker 3: All you were trying to do was work on your fitness.
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  Speaker 3: Poor thing. Well, now I'm outside.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: Now I stick to the outdoors.
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  Speaker 1: I think that's smart. Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: Thank you, guys.
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  Speaker 3: I love you all.
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  Speaker 1: Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What's the
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  Speaker 1: 911 call? What do you say on the 911 call?
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  Speaker 4: Well, I said I fell off my treadmill.
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  Speaker 6: I'm home alone.
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  Speaker 5: What do I do?
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  Speaker 4: And they did. They didn't send an ambulance.
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  Speaker 1: They sent.
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  Speaker 4: fire squad out to help me up and see if
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  Speaker 4: I was okay. And I did go to the emergency
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  Speaker 4: room though, because I had such a big hematoma on
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  Speaker 4: my hip that they wanted to make sure I didn't
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  Speaker 4: break my hip.
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  Speaker 2: So how'd they get in your house?
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  Speaker 4: Oh, the door was unlocked.
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  Speaker 1: And then you walk, they walk in and there you
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  Speaker 1: are under a closet door.
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  Speaker 3: Oh yeah. Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: Earbuds still in my ear.
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  Speaker 3: Almost ironic. It's almost ironic that it was Footloose because
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  Speaker 3: she was not Footloose.
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  Speaker 4: No, I wasn't.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, Tina, thanks for calling in. Thank you, Tina.
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  Speaker 4: Thank you, guys.
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  Speaker 2: Bye-bye.
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  Speaker 1: Tim, stupid way you hurt yourself. Hey, morning, guys.
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  Speaker 2: So years and years ago, do you remember what a
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  Speaker 2: skip it was?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. Is that the thing that's on one ankle and
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  Speaker 1: you spin it and jump?
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  Speaker 3: Skip it was awesome.
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  Speaker 1: Is that what it was? Yeah, totally.
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  Speaker 2: Yep, you got it. So I was a senior in
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  Speaker 2: high school. It was in my sister's basement. And I
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  Speaker 2: was playing with my nieces and nephews. And I threw
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  Speaker 2: this Skip It On and was just whipping it around,
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  Speaker 2: whipping it around. And when, I guess, my shoe got
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  Speaker 2: caught in the carpet and... Twisted my knee and I
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  Speaker 2: blew my knee out.
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  Speaker 1: MCL, MCL.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, man.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, multiple knee injuries.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, completely blew it out. My sister was sitting there
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  Speaker 2: and she, like, the sound of the popping and cracking
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  Speaker 2: was like fireworks, basically. Yeah. Yeah, that's the way I
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  Speaker 2: embarrass myself in front of my.
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  Speaker 1: Nieces and nephews.
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  Speaker 3: When you feel it go, it goes.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Exactly.
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  Speaker 1: All right, Tim. Thanks for calling in. Hey, by the way,
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  Speaker 1: we have tickets to the 13th floor haunted house. We
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  Speaker 1: can give that to the best way.
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  Speaker 3: It looks cool.
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  Speaker 1: The way you hear yourself, which we should have given
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  Speaker 1: to Tina because I can't see anybody being that.
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  Speaker 2: No.
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  Speaker 1: But you never know. No. How'd you hear yourself, Kyle?
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  Speaker 5: Tina shared her story and it made me feel a
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  Speaker 5: lot better, but mine is way stupider. Like hers was
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  Speaker 5: just like, that's insane.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: It's more stupid.
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  Speaker 1: I felt really dumb because I did it twice.
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  Speaker 5: So I'm making dinner yesterday and I've got French fries
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  Speaker 5: in the air fryer and I pull them out and
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  Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm just going to, you know what? I
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  Speaker 5: know it's hot in there, but I think I can
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  Speaker 5: handle it. Meanwhile, French fries were cooking at 400 degrees, whatever.
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  Speaker 5: So I hold the air fryer pan and I just
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  Speaker 5: put my hand in barehanded into the air fryer and
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  Speaker 5: grab some French fries.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm like, ah, and they're hot.
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  Speaker 5: And I went in again, ah, and I'm like, it's fine.
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  Speaker 5: So later that night, I was also reheating a little
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  Speaker 5: dessert thing as if I didn't learn my lesson earlier.
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  Speaker 5: This puppy also reheated at 400 degrees. I went in
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  Speaker 5: to grab it and it was like, my fingers had
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  Speaker 5: had enough. And it was like, almost like I could hear.
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  Speaker 3: The skin sizzle.
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  Speaker 5: It was like, that's terrible.
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  Speaker 3: Like, why did I do that?
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  Speaker 5: That was so dumb. So it's been the next few minutes, like,
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  Speaker 5: you know, going to get the burn cream, putting an
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  Speaker 5: ice pack on it, just going like, well, why would
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  Speaker 5: I do that? That was so dumb.
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  Speaker 3: It was so dumb.
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  Speaker 1: I knew it was hot. So you even put burn cream.
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  Speaker 1: Was that bad? You had to get burn cream on?
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  Speaker 5: Oh, and it was throbbing for like a full hour afterwards.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my God. Let me see your finger. I can
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  Speaker 1: see the little, there's a little dot. Oh, you got
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  Speaker 1: a little circle. Let me see. You're like the little
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  Speaker 1: circle that the lantern has. On lanterns, two people like
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: burn to death, but this alien can reskin them. And
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  Speaker 1: they get all new skin, but it has a little
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  Speaker 1: circle on wherever they do that. So it's just like that.
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  Speaker 3: It's like a little branding mark.
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  Speaker 1: But then again, one of the Manhunters got pregnant because
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  Speaker 1: of that.
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  Speaker 2: It's true.
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  Speaker 1: What?
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  Speaker 3: Don't give away too much of the plot.
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  Speaker 1: How about... Okay, hold on. We'll say hi to Christina,
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  Speaker 1: and then we'll get to the really stupid way Rich
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  Speaker 1: heard himself. Christina, stupid way you heard yourself.
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  Speaker 7: Hi.
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  Speaker 1: Hi.
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  Speaker 7: So I broke both of my feet in getting smashed
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  Speaker 7: in between two vehicles because... My dad told me if
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  Speaker 7: the tow strap gets caught under the tire, put your
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  Speaker 7: feet down and try to stop the truck. I thought
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  Speaker 7: he was serious. So I did it. The tow strap
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  Speaker 7: got caught under the car and I put my feet
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  Speaker 7: out and it got caught on the bumper of the
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  Speaker 7: car we were towing. And then here I am with
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  Speaker 7: two broken feet.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, that's so beautiful.
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  Speaker 5: I bet your dad.
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  Speaker 3: Felt so guilty. He's like, why would you listen to
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  Speaker 3: that advice?
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  Speaker 1: Why would you think that was serious?
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  Speaker 5: Exactly.
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  Speaker 7: He said, I wasn't serious. I was like, oh, well,
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  Speaker 7: I mean, I listened to my dad. So here we are.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, Christina, thank you. Arisa, stupid way you hurt yourself.
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  Speaker 7: Hi, good morning, guys.
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  Speaker 3: Good morning.
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  Speaker 6: Um, the stupidest way I've ever hurt myself was I
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  Speaker 6: was always too short to reach the top cabinets. And
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  Speaker 6: my dad hated when we climbed on like the cabinets
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  Speaker 6: to reach anything or like climb on the chairs. So
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  Speaker 6: when no one was in the kitchen, I jumped on
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  Speaker 6: top of the cabinet and grabbed something and I jumped
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  Speaker 6: backwards off the cabinet because my body was facing the
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  Speaker 6: cabinet and I landed on my foot wrong. and I legit, like,
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  Speaker 6: broke my whole, all my toes, and then, like, the
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  Speaker 6: center of my foot.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
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  Speaker 6: And the worst part about that is they didn't believe me.
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  Speaker 4: They didn't believe me.
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  Speaker 6: So, like, I'm a kid of, like, eight kids, and
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  Speaker 6: so that day we were planning to go to a
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  Speaker 6: bunch of stores, and they're like, you're lying, Adisa. Like,
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  Speaker 6: you're just being dramatic because, you know, I was always
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  Speaker 6: known as the dramatic kid. And so we went to, like,
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  Speaker 6: ten stores. I'm hopping around the whole entire, like, all
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  Speaker 6: these stores. And then finally my dad's like, okay, we'll
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  Speaker 6: take her to the urgent care. We'll see what's going on.
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  Speaker 6: And then, yep, they came back in and they're like, yeah,
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  Speaker 6: she broke all her toes and like the center.
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  Speaker 1: Of her foot. Then he felt bad.
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  Speaker 7: And I'm just sitting there like, I told you so.
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  Speaker 3: I hope you let that hang over your parents to
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  Speaker 3: this day.
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  Speaker 4: And no, he talks about it to this day.
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  Speaker 6: And he like, if my siblings are sick, he's like, okay, well,
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  Speaker 6: Arisa went a whole day with a broken foot.
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  Speaker 3: So it's your badge of honor.
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  Speaker 1: Arisa, you want to go to the haunted house, 13th floor?
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  Speaker 6: Yes, I would love to.
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  Speaker 1: It's crazy.
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  Speaker 3: Stay off the cabinets in there.
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  Speaker 1: Very, very scary. But hold on. We'll set you up tickets.
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  Speaker 1: Hold on.
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  Speaker 6: Okay, sounds good.
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  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.