Latest / Presented by Speaking Human / With Further Ado Episode #19: Grandpa Accidentally Invents a New Ocean

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With Further Ado Episode #19: Grandpa Accidentally Invents a New Ocean · Presented by Speaking Human

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Tell me if this sounds familiar.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: You're listening to a podcast, attending a presentation, or watching
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: a live stream, and after a whole bunch of chatter,
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: the hosts finally get around to the reason for the
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: whole shebang, saying, without further ado, it happens all the time,
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: at almost every event, going back to the beginning of
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: recorded history.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: But what happens if the hosts.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Never actually get to the main attractions, What if the
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: whole thing were just the ado? This is that show.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: So Shad, I have a random fact for you today.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: Not a trivia.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Okay. I'll decide if it's random, but sure.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's kind of random. It's not really random
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: because we are talking about, or we're going to get to,
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: how Grandpa accidentally invents a new ocean in this episode.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: That's true.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: So it probably ties into that. Yeah.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: Did you know, this is a random fact, but did
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: you know that the Pacific Ocean is so large that
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: it contains its own antipode, which is the point directly
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: opposite another point on Earth? In other words... There are
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: places in the Pacific Ocean where if you drilled straight
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: through the planet, you'd emerge in the Pacific Ocean again.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Is that not insane to think about?
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: You just blew my mind.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I don't even know how to wrap my head around that.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: It's like, you know, you're drilling straight through, you're in
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: the Pacific Ocean, and then you're in the Pacific Ocean
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: again on the other side? How is that possible?
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: You come out in the Pacific Ocean?
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: My God.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: Which raises an important question, you know, is that one
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: ocean appearing twice or two oceans connected by the world's
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: least practical shortcut? Because you have to drill through the
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: entire earth to get there.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: So Pacific Ocean, the biggest ocean, right?
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: One of the world's biggest oceans.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Is it the world's biggest ocean? I think it is, right?
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: One of the world's biggest.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: That is not the random fact you brought today.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: I don't have all facts with me all the time.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: You know this.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: The Pacific Ocean is the largest and deepest ocean on Earth.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: See?
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Covers roughly 32% of the planet's total surface area.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: Like I said, one of the world's biggest oceans.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Falsities i come with facts you know i just don't
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: have all the facts all the.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Time yeah you come with one fact what was the
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: word you used when you first started that.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Off an antipode antipode antipode antipode p-o-d-e.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Oh antipode i had no idea what that was but
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: now i do i mean it's kind of cool right
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: it's cool It's cool to learn something new.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's the exact opposite point on earth. You
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: know how people would say, oh, you know, you're digging
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: a hole where you're digging into China. And it's like, well,
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: technically that's not the opposite point wherever you're at. Right.
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: But yeah.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Well, I'd like to know what's happening on the antipode
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: of me right now. Is it some other dude doing
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: a podcast?
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: Oh, wouldn't that be so magical? If you could figure
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: that out, I mean, I'm sure we could figure that out.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: We have the technology now. You could probably go on
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: right now and find out on some AI software.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: It's probably the Pacific Ocean.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: 32% of the Earth. It's actually like a fish who's
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: on a podcast.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: If I was betting, I'd bet it's ocean.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: It's like.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: Like, what's that fish doing? It's got a microphone?
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, speaking of fish. Would you eat that?
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Gross. Lisa, have some more. So this segment, you're offered
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: one million cold hard cash, tax free, by the way.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Tax free. That's amazing.
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: Take home with tax. You're talking like $ 5. 50 for? Maybe.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: But you have to take a full bite of whatever
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: this is. Would you eat that? So we come with
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: three things.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Do you have three things?
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: I do. But here's what I'll say is, you know,
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: I'm always like, I'll probably eat that for a million dollars.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: We probably should have made it like a thousand dollars.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Because a thousand is like.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's a taxable meal.
• 4:59
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: It's a tax.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: If you had the tax, would you do that?
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: We might have to.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: You're right.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: We might have to lower in the future. But I'm
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: going to try to, you know, stress test you as
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: much as I can.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Okay. I think mine are clear yeses, but we'll see
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: what you say. I don't know. I know that you
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: have a version of, and I didn't add any of
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: these in there today, but I know you have a
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: version of hair, sweaty socks, things like that. Uh-huh.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of things I don't want to eat.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: I mean, for a million, you could choke down a lot,
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: I feel like.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Are you allowed to vomit it?
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: I think we talked about that. I don't know. And
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: I don't think it really matters if those hot dog
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: guys who eat all the hot dogs, they can't throw
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: up at the event, but they could throw up later, right?
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So you don't think you can throw it up
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: while you're eating. It's got to go down.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's got to go down because then that's, you know,
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: it's fair. Fair is fair.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Fair is fair. We learned that from Billie Jean.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: All right. So number one, would you eat? A hard-boiled
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: egg from a gas station counter with display only written
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: on the underside of its little plastic basket. The kicker
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: is the cashier says, honestly, I didn't even know those
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: were real.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: So we don't know how long it's been there.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Or if they're even real, you know, according
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: to the cashier. Yeah.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd eat that. I can do that.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for a cool million, of course, right?
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: For a million, yeah, I can handle potentially old moldy egg.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I think I can do that.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: But for 1K, not 1M, probably not, right?
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: For 1,000, I feel like I could.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I can handle that. 100, probably not.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: $ 100, no.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's not a lot I'm doing for 100. I'm
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: not going to debase myself for 100.
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: I don't want to throw up for 100. Yeah, me neither.
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: My first one related to yours, I think it's much worse.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: I'm sure it is.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: I'm actually going to send you a picture of it
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: because I think this one requires some visual to it.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: This is a boiled fertilized duck egg. So if I
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: just say that, you probably don't know what it is.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: So it's like you crack the shell open. There's kind
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: of a duck embryo in there and some other crap.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: And I guess people just kind of slurp it out
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: of there.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: So people actually do eat these?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: This is the thing. You think people eat these. So
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: it's not, you wouldn't be the first.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: Is that an actual beak though on the bird?
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: That is a beak. And it's got, it looks like
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: it has some little, even claws on the feet or something.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: It feels like it's AI I'm looking at right now,
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: like an AI image. I don't know, man.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Look at that fingernail. That's not AI.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: That fingernail. I'd like to say that I could probably
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: try to choke that down for a million. But looking
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: at it, I don't know if you just saw me,
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: but I got shivers. Looking at it, it made me
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: sick a little. The money-hungry person in me would be like, yeah,
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: I'd do that. But I'm going to be honest. I
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: don't think I would do it.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear you say that because this is
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: one of those things I look at and I'm like,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: I'd want to feel like I'm up to the challenge
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: and like, hey man, you know, just get it down.
• 8:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I don't think I could do it. I think it
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: would go into my mouth and I'd immediately gag. And
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: then I'm like, what's the point?
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: It's involuntary at that point. Like, you know, to the
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: point where if you throw up right there, you're going
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: to lose the money and have vomited.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: And you put that thing in your mouth.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Good job giving me the visual because I probably
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: would have said yes.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: But yeah, you're like, Boiled, fertilized duck egg? That doesn't
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: sound too bad.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: So my second one is, okay, would you eat this?
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: One full bite of a perfectly cooked steak, but it's
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: served inside the mouth of an extremely realistic, life-sized crocodile
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: that may or may not be real. And you must
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: retrieve the bite using only your teeth.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: I'm guessing the crocodile's mouth is like wide open, the
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: jaw sitting there wide open, the steak sitting on what,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know, does this crocodile have a tongue?
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: What's going on in the crocodile's mouth? Something's in there?
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Something's in there.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: So I have hands behind my back and I'm facing
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: the crocodile and there is a 50% chance that the
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: jaw is going to snap down on my head and
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: kill me.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: I mean, in your head, it's 50%. It might be 100%.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: You don't know if it's real or if it's fake.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: That's true.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: But somebody knows.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: It's not only eating something gross, it's risking my life.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: I mean, kind of, yeah.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: I think I might do it. I want to say
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I would do it, but I might be too scared
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: to back out.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: But that steak, you know, I mean, it's perfectly cooked.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: It's ready for you to just take a little nibble.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I think I'd... be working under the assumption that they're
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: not going to have a real crocodile here.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's a million dollars. They might.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: What if you went fast, you know? But it's hard
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: to go fast when you don't have the hands.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: So let me give you, since we're on facts right now,
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: let me tell you the speed and power of a
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: crocodile snapping its jaws shut. It can snap its jaws
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: shut in literally 50 milliseconds, which is 0.05 seconds, which
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: is faster than a human blink. If you think you
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: can outrace him.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's probably not going to work. I'm going to
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: say yes to this. I might back out, but I'm
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: going to say yes. Okay. We're kind of on the
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: same page here in some ways. Mine also related to
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: a living creature. So in your case, you're going to
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: be given a live tarantula to eat. So you'll be
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: putting that in your mouth, hairy, thick feet moving around
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: as you crunch down and swallow it. You could swallow
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: it whole.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: Is it a venomous tarantula?
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: I'll say no. Let's take the venom out of the equation.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Okay, so not immediately lethal.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Not immediately lethal. Just big, fat, and hairy.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I can tell you right now it's immediate no.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't do it.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, even without the venom.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: I just don't think I could do it. I know
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: what tarantulas look like. It's like, you know, if it
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: was cooked or something, maybe not alive. No. Even without
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: the venom, I'm like, and spiders aren't like my favorite anyway.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: No.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: So.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I think I would do a cooked one though.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I probably do cook one.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: It's like crunchy. I would want to, but it's better
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: when it's not moving.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: When it's not moving and it's, you know, I can't
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: bring my own teeth or jaws to like kill something
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: as it's going in. Yeah, that's a tough one, man.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: You came up with a couple of good ones where
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I came hard because I came with things that
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't think I can do these.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: Okay, here's my most ridiculous and crazy recipe. Would you
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: eat this? Would you eat one lukewarm ravioli from a
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: can labeled emergency ravioli, but it's discovered inside a sealed
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: briefcase chained to the bottom of a public swimming pool?
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: The can has expired, but nobody knows who put it there.
• 12:31
  Speaker 7: Hmm.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: That is super mysterious.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: Right? It's more theoretical, you know. It could be fine.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: What's up with it, though?
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: And why is it at the bottom of a public
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: swimming pool? Why does it say emergency ravioli?
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Why is it in the briefcase? This seems like
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: another one where it's kind of like a roll of
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: the dice with your life. Like there could be something
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: going on with this thing and it's not made for
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: regular consumption. Why is there just one?
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Is it a cheese ravioli? Is that cheese inside
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: that ravioli?
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I immediately distrust it. I think I could eat it.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: Like if you saw it, but you know all of
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: the facts, right? It's not just the ravioli anymore, right?
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: It's like, can I convince myself to take a bite
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: and forget everything I know for $ 1 million? I think
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I can.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for a million. What about $ 1, 000? $ 1, 000, I'm going
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: to pass.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: I'm going to pass on that one.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: You're going to pass on the thousand, but you're going
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: to do it for a million.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. A thousand dollars. I'm just too, I have
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: too many questions and concerns. I'll pass on the crocodile
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: for a thousand too.
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, for sure. The thing about those two, right?
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: Or you can eat those things and they seem fairly normal.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: It's the situation.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: Whereas like The first one you gave me was the
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: duck egg or fertilized.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Which is just visually gross, right?
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Second one, live tarantula. Also tough.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: The feel. Mm-hmm. Well, my last one's a little more
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: on the mental end, I would say.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Well, it's a little bit of both. Let's call it both. Okay?
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: What you have to eat here is one of Hitler's toenails.
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: Now, what's important here is that it's, you know, Hitler's
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: toenail because, you know, in essence, you're consuming Hitler's DNA
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: that's going inside of you.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: But a toenail is gross in itself. I don't know
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: if you want to do that. Not so bad, though,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: compared to some other things.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Toenails are pretty gross, though. Something that old, too,
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: would be really disgusting.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: It's an old toenail. It's got a lot of stigma
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: attached to it.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: A lot of stigma.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: People, you walk down the street, they'll be like, that's
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: the guy who made Hitler's toenail.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right? You would never really live that down ever.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: No, that's staying with you. That's going in your obit. Mm-hmm.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: He once chewed and swallowed Hitler's toenail for a million dollars.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Although that is kind of a cool story, you got
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: to admit, you know?
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: Ironically, that's also what killed him. I'd say I'd probably
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: do it.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Now you're doing it. Okay.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: I think that I could probably choke down, maybe.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Stigma be damned.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: That's so funny, though. Like, I can't do the bird
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: egg or the tarantula, but I can do, you know.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Hitler's toenail.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: A part of me thinks of it as like, I'm
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: going to eat this dude up and poop him out.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's a good way to flip it.
• 15:46
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: You know how you sometimes watch a show and you're.
• 15:49
  Speaker 6: Like, oh, that made me hungry seeing all that food
• 15:51
  Speaker 6: that looks so good.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: This, I think, was the polar opposite of that.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: Antithesis.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Antipode.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: It's the opposite point on earth.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: You're like, I don't think I'm ever going to eat
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: food again.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: It definitely leaves a lasting impression.
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so this is a new-ish.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: This is, we've never done this before. And maybe we'll
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: never do it again.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: That's possible. I'm super psyched about this one. Oh, you are? Yeah.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: You're into it.
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: I chose somebody, I actually will have to show you.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay. I'm gonna know who this person is by name?
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: You might. You probably do.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: That's going to be challenging. So let's explain what this is.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: First impressions. What happens with this segment is each of
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: us picks an impression the other person must do for
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: the first time ever. They've never done it before, as
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: far as we know. So you got to provide a
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: few sentences of text for the other person to read
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: while doing the impression. You know, give them some material
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: to work with. And then after that person does the impression...
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: The other host should provide an analysis of the impression
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: and then also, you know, in fairness, attempt the impression
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: themselves just to balance the scales a little bit.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I like this one because, you know, I was
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: trying something different with this. I just, you know, randomly
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: pick something that has an interesting voice.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Just a guy off the street.
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, a guy off the street. You know, because we
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: always do the walk-in. We've always done, you know, the...
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: Arnold and the sly and stuff. And I'm like, you know,
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: let's make it interesting. Find interesting character voices and see
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: if we can reproduce that.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's going to at very least be an interesting experiment.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah. We may never do this again, or we might
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: be like every week we're going to do this.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: We're always doing first impressions. So you want to do
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: your guy first or my guy first?
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: I'm excited. So let me do mine first.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: Okay. Okay. So you got a video you're going to show?
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Is that what's going to happen here? Yeah.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: So I'm going to show you a video of this guy.
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: He's doing an interview on Sunday morning, CBS Sunday morning.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: So that you could get a sense of his voice,
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: his cadence, his intonation.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: Get a sense of who he is as a person maybe.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: So on my screen, I'm going to have the video,
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: but then right above it, I've put the thing that
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: you are going to say to do the impression of
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: that person.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Some text. Text.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: All right. Can you see my screen?
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: I can. Okay.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: Do you know who Werner Herzog is?
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: I do know this guy. He's a director.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah. He's a famous German filmmaker. He's also an actor,
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: opera director, author, documentarian. People know him for things like
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: Nosferatu the Vampire and Jack Reacher. Yeah. When you hear
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: his voice, you'll know him. Can't hear it. Can't hear it. Okay.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: There we go. Now I can hear it.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: A few moments later. You feel like you have enough?
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so. I mean, I can give it
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: a shot.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: So you're going to narrate him going on a trip
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: through Costco and going to a sample station and you
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: see the sample, people get handed out samples.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: All right, let's give this a shot. Never done this before.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Never done a Werner Herzog. This is my first time. So,
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: you know, a little nervous. What's going to what it's
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: going to sound like? I have no idea. Let's give
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: it a shot, though.
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: Before us stands the sample woman, offering fragments of mozzarella
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: stick to the ravenous masses. Her smiles suggest kindness, but
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: her tiny paper cups... speak only of scarcity a child
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: circles back wearing a different hat believing himself invisible the
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: sample woman knows she has always known is it a.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Vampire That was great.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: I loved it. You should be his professional impressionist.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Sound double?
• 20:14
  Speaker 7: Could you be his sound double?
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be really terrible at this, but I'll
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: try it. I'm going to try it. Because, you know,
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: I tend to revert back. He's got a little bit of, like,
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: the sound in his voice reminds me so much of Walken,
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: even though he's not Walken. You know? Like, he's got
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: a little bit of that, huh?
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: You think you're just going to jump out into Walken?
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: The ravenous... Masses?
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: He does sound a little bit like Christoph Waltz, doesn't he?
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: A little bit. The accent, not necessarily his... He's got
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: like a whispery tone.
• 20:48
  Speaker 7: Before us stands the sample woman offering fragments of mozzarella
• 20:55
  Speaker 7: stick to the ravenous masses.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: See? He's walking in there.
• 21:00
  Speaker 7: Her smile suggests kindness, but her tiny paper cups speak
• 21:05
  Speaker 7: only of scarcity. A child circles back wearing a different hat,
• 21:10
  Speaker 7: believing himself invisible. The sample woman knows. She has always known.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: See, I couldn't.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Good whisper at the end, though.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: There was a little whisper, yeah. I couldn't get the,
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: it's like the German in there. I couldn't get a
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: whispering German.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: If you asked me to do like a talking German,
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: I could probably do that, but it's also a little stereotypical.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: It's weird because you own the website whisperinggerman.com.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: Whispering. WhisperingGerman.com is a great domain. We should have that.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: That was a tough one, huh? I thought you did
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: great at it. Not for me. It was tough for me.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: It wasn't too bad, but it was, you know, totally...
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: That was, you're right. Totally fresh, totally new. Something unfamiliar.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: So going into it was a real first impression.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I vote that yours was very, very good. I
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: think you did a great job. I have... just one criteria.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: And that was, did every sentence you made sound like
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: humanity was doomed? And I thought it did, you know,
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: cause that.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Was, I don't know. I, same thing. I don't know
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: if I actually got the German in there. I was like,
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: what's the, I'd be like, I try to get a
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: little German in here.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: For like a lost the German. Well, that was a
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: good one. That's a good, good find. I have someone
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: who's much more familiar.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: I don't think we've done this one. We might've done
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: it at some point on a speaking human or something
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: when we were talking about this guy doing ads or
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: something like that. But I don't remember particularly. The guy
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about is an actor, been in many movies,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: star of a lot of commercials lately. I'm talking about Mr.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Matthew McConaughey. Okay. laid back, Texas kind of drawl, you know,
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: his own sort of unique voice.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: Which I think will be kind of hard, but I
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: think I have some text here that might make it
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: flow out a little easier.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: Okay. All right.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: When you read it, I think it'll kind of like
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: come to you. See if it brings it out for
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: you as you read this little monologue.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to think of Matthew McConaughey's voice. Is there
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: something to hearing him talk and then.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, maybe. I didn't bring a video. I didn't
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: think about that like you did. That was a good idea.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure we can find a McConaughey video.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: All right, all right, all right. You know, everybody goes
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: back to that one. You know, sometimes you just spend
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: so much time looking down the road, you forget to
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: enjoy the part where you're already at. Slow it down,
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: take a deep breath, get a little dazed and confused
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: if you need to, because life's funny that way. One
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: minute you're heading to the interstellar unknown, and the next
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: thing you know.
• 23:52
  Speaker 7: Everything's all right, all right, all right.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: My voice, I can't even get to that.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's got a specific, you're a real cowboy.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, a little southern drawl, but nothing, hey there, cowboys.
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: People are like, man, this is terrible. This is a
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: terrible impression day.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: We're not good at impressions. People should know that.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we're not leaving a good at first impression, that's
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: for sure.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no. So, yeah, I probably should
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: have played a video. I don't know if you caught
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: his essence, but you did a good Texas cowboy.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: I did the guy working on a ranch near his house.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: He's like a friend of his.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, or an acquaintance. This is the guy you've seen
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: when he's driving by and is Lincoln.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's Lincoln. All right, so let me give a
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: shot at this, see if it's any different. Mine might
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: sound exactly the same.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 24:47
  Speaker 6: Sometimes you spend so much time looking down the road,
• 24:51
  Speaker 6: you forget to enjoy the part.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Where you're already at. Slow it down.
• 24:55
  Speaker 6: Take a breath. Get a little dazed and confused if
• 24:59
  Speaker 6: you need to. Because life's funny that way. One minute,
• 25:04
  Speaker 6: you're headed into the interstellar unknown. And the next thing
• 25:08
  Speaker 6: you know, everything's all right, all right, all right.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: It's too southern. You know what I mean? It's like
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: too southern. Yeah. As I'm doing it, I'm like, it's
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: not right. I can feel it not being right.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's weird.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: It's like, slow it down. You're like, yeah, but it's
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: like too... It's not. It's not that Southern.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: There's like a Southern, and then there's also like a
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: little bit of like hippie... Yeah. Almost like high, like
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: Dazed and Confused-esque sound to it. It's like a cheerfulness
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: or something to it.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Looking down the road. Yeah, I don't know. I can't... It's...
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: That's a tough one. There's somebody who does it, I bet,
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: but it's not us.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: It's not us. You know, I would have fared much
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: better on the first one if I would have given
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: you my backup, which I thought, 100% I thought, that
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: I was going to give this to you. And that
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: was Kermit the Frog.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: I can do that one.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: But it's Kermit the Frog trying to return a haunted
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: air fryer without a receipt. I just liked the idea
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: of the dialogue of Kermit the Frog trying to return
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: product at a store.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: That's actually pretty good. I like a scenario like that,
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: you know, like a kind of weird scenario to have
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: the person in. Yeah.
• 26:24
  Speaker 7: Could this be a segment?
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: All right. So could this be a segment? This is
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: how we, you know, end each episode by pitching an
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: idea for a new segment on the show. This is
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: how we get our first impressions or our would you
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: eat that? You know, they came from this, from this brainstorming,
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: this mind thundering we do in this area of the
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: show right here. So what's your idea for could this
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: be a segment?
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: So my pitch is confidently incorrect museum tour. So this
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: is the idea where One of us is shown a
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: photograph of a strange historical object they've never seen before.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: So both of us have to find something we've never
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: seen before. That person then must immediately become a museum
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: guide and deliver a very fabricated explanation of what it is,
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: when it was invented, and why it changed civilization. And
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: then the other host reveals the object's real purpose. The
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: idea is that you become the museum guide tour guide.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: You're like, this thing is blah, blah, blah, which I
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: think is funny.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: So would this be like a prehistoric hammer or something?
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't, like one of the first wheels
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: invented or something, but you can't, you don't know exactly
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: what it is. So you're just seeing this thing and
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: you have to come up with the story.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: It could be anything though. So like, you know, imagine
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: go on Reddit and you see an image of something
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: that somebody is like, Oh, this coin, what is this coin?
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: I couldn't figure out where this was from. And then
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: somebody answers the question. As long as you have the
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: answer to whatever it is, or if for whatever reason
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: you can't, you can make something up, but then you'd
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: have to say like, I don't actually have the real
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: answer to this, you know?
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, so you don't necessarily have to know what the
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: real thing is. You just have to have something to
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: show so the other person can riff on it. I
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: like this because, you know, it's got the spirit of
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: improv at its core.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: That's what I really love about it. Like today, you know,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: the first impressions, that was a lot of improv, even
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: though we came knowing we didn't know what we were
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: going to get.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: You're just jumping in.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: Also, a little bit of work in the brain, trying
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: to figure out, like, How do I spin this? What
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: do I talk about? What's the story, right? We always
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: talk about stories and crafting like a narrative. That's a
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: fun part of that.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I like that one. Could be pretty good.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: Could lead to some interesting or terrible explanations.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah. If you're a good BS-er, which I know you're
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: a good BS-er, I think you'd be good at that.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: And I'm sure you would do fine. So that's a
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: good one. We'll advance that to our wall of segments. Mine...
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: that I brought here today is called The Spirit of 76. Okay.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: So the idea of this one is you woke up
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: yesterday and it was the same day, but 50 years
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: in the past. So which right now would be 1976.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: So you got to tell us, what did you do?
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: What was your day like? For example... Maybe I'm going
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: to go find Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak working in
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: a garage and find a way to weasel my way
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: into Apple. Maybe I tell them I can help them
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: sell their first computer to ordinary people using their own
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: future ID. as fuel. Another example, I might just go
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: around smoking cigarettes in different places that would seem insane today. Airplanes,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: movie theaters, government buildings, hospitals, elevators, all of it. See
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: if I could find somewhere where I could actually get
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: a reaction out of anyone where they cared. Because it's 76, man.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: The year could change as the years go on, but
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: it's always called the spirit of 76.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: So it's always called that, but it's not, you know,
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: so like next year it'd be the spirit of 77.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: But it's still called the spirit of 76. So just
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: be like, you're in a different year. What are you doing?
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: What's going on?
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: I like this.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like... We had a different podcast where
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: we were traveling into the future. It's kind of the inverse.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: We'd be traveling into the past, bringing something back that
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: we were doing from that time.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And almost like the antipode of time. Exactly. We're
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: both going back to 76.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But I imagine we'd do different things.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: I'd be surprised if we did the same thing.
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that would be surprising. But we're both going back
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: to the same year. Okay. I like that segment. I
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: think it moves on. Because it's, again, creativity. What are
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: we doing in that year?
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: You know, it's one of those, see what happens. It's
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: always the question with these. You get one shot, kid.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Are you going to get a second shot?
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: Are there criteria to this? Like, how many things do
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: you come with, like what you did during the day?
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: Or is it like, you know, under two minutes, you
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: got to describe your day or what?
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: I didn't have any. Do you need something more stable?
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like it's too gelatinous?
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: Well, you know, like it helps like if we said, hey,
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: you know, like morning, afternoon, evening or something.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: Well, that's pretty good. You do three things. What are they?
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: We always like things in threes. So that's good.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: I love three things.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: Give me three, Utah. He should have asked for that.
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: He said he actually could have eaten three of those,
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: by the way. Yeah.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: He got rudely interrupted when you're trying to eat lunch.
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: I should have had you give me three of these things. Oh,
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: they're robbing the bank. A little Point Break reference for
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: our listeners out there. If you didn't know, we love
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: a little Point Break in our lives.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Enjoying the 35th anniversary.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Enjoying the crap out of it. Hey, that was
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: a nice steel case box set that you got there.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: Beautiful, isn't it?
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: That's crazy. The artwork on it. I was not expecting that. Like,
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: you know, because everywhere else is...