Latest / Serious Lady Business / Grief, Grace, and Changing Conversations with Samara Tricarico
Transcript
- LESLIE YOUNGBLOOD (00:03) Hey there, I'm Leslie Youngblood and this is Serious Lady Business, the podcast where we get real about what it takes to build a business as a woman today. From late night Google searches and client curveballs to the wins that make it all worth it, I'm talking about the stuff no one puts in the highlight reel. Each week, I'm bringing you honest conversations, lessons learned and stories from women who are out here doing the work. Messy, meaningful and unapologetically bold. Whether you're just dreaming about starting a business or deep in the grind, this podcast is your space to feel seen, supported, and fired up. Because let's be honest, this journey is hard, hilarious, and absolutely worth it. So let's dive in. Leslie Youngblood (00:51) Before we begin, a content note. This conversation includes discussion of suicide, death, and mental health challenges. We share it to help, but it may be difficult to hear. Please take care of yourself, pause, skip, or come back later if that's best for you. If you're in the United States and need support, you can call or text 988 to reach the suicide and crisis lifeline, available 24 seven. If you're outside the U.S., please contact your local emergency number or a trusted crisis service. Leslie Youngblood (01:24) Welcome to Serious Lady Business. I'm Leslie Youngblood, your host, feminist and founder of Youngblood MMC, a marketing media and content agency. Today, I would like you to meet Samara Tricarico. Samara is the co-founder of Endurant Movement and a board certified holistic health practitioner with over two decades of experience in health and wellness. A certified positive discipline educator and Chopra yoga teacher, Samara is passionate about advocating for mental health, neurodiversity and suicide awareness. Her personal journey as a mother navigating the death of her high functioning autistic son brings heart center healing, resilience training, and community driven solutions to families and organizations committed to turning adversity into purpose. Welcome Samara. Neal And Samara Tricarico (02:12) Thank you so much, Leslie, I'm glad to be here. Leslie Youngblood (02:14) I am so glad that you are here too. You know, we're talking about something today that is a bit taboo. And I think that's the reason why we're talking about it. Grief, grace, and changing conversations together here. I would love to start with the Endurance Movement, Samara. Tell us about that journey and how and when your advocacy changed from surviving the day-to-day to then wanting to do something publicly and really doing more. Neal And Samara Tricarico (02:31) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (02:41) ⁓ with it. Neal And Samara Tricarico (02:42) Yeah, thank you. Well, with the loss of our son, Anthony, he was a junior in high school and he died by suicide. He was resuscitated and brought back to life and. had sustained severe brain injuries, but was hospitalized and we had hopes and visions of full recovery. Unfortunately, it didn't go that way, but during the nine weeks we were there at the hospital, at Children's Hospital with him, living next door at Ronald McDonald House, supporting him. Our community really surrounded us with love and support. We talk about it on our show. We go into the full story, but essentially, what happened was we received this in in pour of love this outpouring of love from our community into us and in that process we were given a safe space to ask for help and ask for healing and we didn't come out and say right away that there there was a suicide or a suicide attempt But some of his friends, when we gathered together at the vigil, that was really the turning point. They spoke up and they said, you know, there's mental health concerns here that we need to address and we need to look at this. And started having real authentic conversations. It kind of pulled us forth out of the shadow of our grief and our shame into saying. actually we all need to help each other and this is a really dynamic time and there's crisis going on and if we just live in the shadows and the shame and we don't talk about it, nothing's going to change. We were also advised from Tony Robbins, my husband had worked with him on his executive team and he said, you're being called to something greater and should you choose to step into that, Leslie Youngblood (04:12) Mm-hmm. Mm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (04:30) be able to help impact many more lives and unfortunately at the cost of our son's life we're able to then help others through our movement. Leslie Youngblood (04:41) what a powerful calling and to take that and share it with others as you mentioned everything that you're going through. Tell us about the impact that the Endurant Movement has had so far and how you've brought people together and helped and are changing the conversations. Neal And Samara Tricarico (05:02) Yeah, mean, it's normalizing the conversation ⁓ within lots of different communities. ⁓ We really noticed a... deficit in the education around autism and suicide. Our son was high functioning autistic and we didn't find a lot of education or support and understanding the greater risk factors. And so we were reaching out to organizations and communities to spread awareness in that area because we feel like awareness is the cure. Also in the area of post-traumatic growth, even just socializing what that is, you know, that there's an opportunity for growth. We don't have to be stuck in the pain and suffering. And then with teen mental health, so we've launched a podcast, The Endurance Show, where we have my husband and I interview experts in the field, but also we've brought in teens to share their voice and to get their perspective and give them an opportunity to speak out about the issues that really matter to them. So we're amplifying our voice ⁓ through that medium, through the show. We're also working with schools and teens creating endurance communities where teens can find safe spaces with one another. We're finding that they don't really, as was the case with our son, they don't really want to talk to us as the parents. mean, we can be there and we can offer support, but. they're leaning to and going to each other. And so helping to equip and empower them with tools to help with challenges. mean, there's so much these teens are faced with. And if we can help to support them in supporting one another, we feel like we're doing quality work. So it's rippling out. We've got clubs throughout the US and then also expanding internationally. Leslie Youngblood (06:35) Right. incredible, incredible and like you said so needed especially within the teen community. I mean we were all teenagers once and it was a totally different ball game when we were teenagers and all the things that they are navigating these days on top of what we had to navigate back then. I can't imagine the difficulty and to be able to bring them together like you said to talk to each other because Neal And Samara Tricarico (07:01) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (07:13) counselor and adult is great, but when you can really, you know, give them that support and that comfort in each other and the community together, I can't imagine how powerful that is for them and life-changing as well. Neal And Samara Tricarico (07:27) Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's definitely helping with the connection and so they don't feel so alone and so isolated. mean, social media has a double-edged sword. It can bring people together, but it can also isolate. So helping them to find ways to connect in real life virtually, both. I think it's important that we allow for both ⁓ at this day and age. Leslie Youngblood (07:36) Mm. Yes. ⁓ in here. Neal And Samara Tricarico (07:52) Yeah, I mean the power of connection and community is really important and really foundational for our movement. It's the experience that we had of having a community to support us, to help us to begin our healing journey. Leslie Youngblood (07:59) Mm-hmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (08:06) What we found is that it was helpful not only for us as kind of recipients, if you will, but also for the people offering help and support to us. was helpful for them too because they felt like they could do something. ⁓ You know, not just sit around and watch, you know, your family or your friends, suffer through this painful, traumatic experience, but being able to give them a way to come into and provide support and love to us. ⁓ Leslie Youngblood (08:19) right. Mm-hmm. Yes. Neal And Samara Tricarico (08:35) effect. Leslie Youngblood (08:35) my goodness. And it takes both, like both sides. And that's what I think is so magical, truly about what you're doing is it's not just those going through grief, but it's also helping those peripherally to those going through it. How do you talk about it better? How to support better? And you know, previously when we connected, Samara, we talked about, you you mentioned how pity can feel like low right, low vibration. And how could you not? Neal And Samara Tricarico (08:52) Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (09:00) feel, you know, somebody loses somebody, it goes through a traumatic experience, your human reaction is to pity or to, you know, have that emotion, but presence in the options feels supportive. So I would love for you to share some of the phrases that help in, in have, you know, empower people for good that are supporting those going through difficult journeys. Neal And Samara Tricarico (09:06) Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, everyone's grief is unique and, you know, their own, but there are phases and there are commonalities in the grieving experience and healing from grief. Leslie Youngblood (09:27) I'm here. Neal And Samara Tricarico (09:33) What I found is, and this was through discovery, experiencing it myself, but through different conversations, when someone would say to me, I'm so sorry for your loss, there's a heaviness and there's almost a projection of the experience that they're thinking I'm feeling. And that... It's understandable and it's out of kindness and it's out of love and I receive it that way. But I've also experienced verbiage and wording coming to me and a conversation coming to me of, I mean, that's a huge change in your life. I can't imagine what that would be like. How are you doing? Or, Leslie Youngblood (10:10) Mmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (10:11) It kind of offers a little more of neutrality rather than just assuming where the person receiving that comment is. ⁓ And that's, mean, yes, there have been very difficult, deep, dark, sad times for me. And there's also been very empowering. Leslie Youngblood (10:14) Thank you. Peace. Neal And Samara Tricarico (10:32) strong, finding a deep strength that's allowed me to step forth in purpose in such a magical way that if someone came to me with that kind of lower vibrational energy, as I said, like this sadness and this despair. Yes, that could be part of it, but there's so much more. There's so much more happening in the experience. And so it just allows for the person, the grieving person to have their own experience and have it be respected and acknowledged. I think it's really important. Leslie Youngblood (11:09) Definitely. like you said, they're trying to find the right thing, right? And this is something too, where we don't like to talk about death. We don't like to talk about the... I mean, here's the reality. Neal And Samara Tricarico (11:12) Right. Right. Leslie Youngblood (11:20) All of us will die one day or I'm sure anybody listening has lost a loved one or will navigate losing somebody very close to them. And we don't want to think about it. And we don't want to deal with it. We don't want to go there. We have like goosebumps even thinking about it. But and so when you are faced with that, you're like, I don't know what to say in society. We say, I'm so sorry for your loss. And so nobody's talking about it. So when we have to go through it, we are extra lost because we Neal And Samara Tricarico (11:23) Absolutely. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right. Leslie Youngblood (11:49) How could you not feel extra less, whether you're going through it yourself or whether you are, again, peripherally to somebody that's experiencing that. And so I think that is so fantastic in that suggestion and how to say something more positive or productive or neutral, right? That's more, growth oriented or, just better than that. there's... Neal And Samara Tricarico (11:51) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (12:11) better ways and more thoughtful and thoughtfulness and care and kindness. And we know that that phrase comes from all those places too, but it's time for a better way. And I love that you all are leading that conversation. And another thing that people always say to Samara is let me know how I can help. What can I do? Right? And when you are in this space of Neal And Samara Tricarico (12:13) Right. Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (12:34) all the things, you're like, okay, sure. Tell us, you know, tell us this great tactic that you have to help those who suggest those things or who want to help those going through grief. Neal And Samara Tricarico (12:39) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Again, through experience and from other friends in my life, longtime family friends that have also had significant losses, they've shared with me what was helpful for them and I in turn am happy to share that with you and your audience. That question of let me know what I can do to help puts the onus on the griever, on the person going through the trauma to then figure out some way that someone else can show up for them, which is a lot. the intention is often, you know, I really want to help this person. I don't know what to do, so I'm just going to ask them. What I've found is so much more helpful is to present a few different options. Leslie Youngblood (13:28) Mm-hmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (13:29) And even to just say, if you're a griever, to say to the loved ones coming to you with that question, to say, hey, would be really helpful if you could just offer me a few things that you would like to, ways that you would like to show up for me. And so what it invites is that, because the griever also doesn't wanna put anyone out, right? Like you don't wanna burden anyone else with your stuff. It's hard enough. Leslie Youngblood (13:44) Mm-hmm. right. and hurry. Neal And Samara Tricarico (13:55) to ask for help. And so if someone's offering help, if they could offer specific suggestions, for example, Leslie Youngblood (13:57) Mm-hmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (14:02) I could come by for a walk on Tuesday. I could bring a meal and we could either eat it together or can drop it off. Or if you'd like, can arrange for you to have a massage and I can pick you up and take you there. I mean, those are things that, wow, they all sound really good, but depending on where my energy is, I might be up for a visit, I might not. I might, and. Leslie Youngblood (14:16) Mm-hmm. and Neal And Samara Tricarico (14:27) The grieving brain is all over the place and often you can't really make rhyme or reason out of it. So the open-ended question is very confusing and often just gets ignored. ⁓ And that doesn't help either part of the community or the relationship, right? Versus if you knew a couple of specific ways that could be helpful and it could even just be like, hey, these are open invitations. Leslie Youngblood (14:39) right. and playing it. Right. Right. Neal And Samara Tricarico (14:55) I have this that I can offer you. Let me know if any of those sound good. And you know what, I'll check in with you again next week. And so then it doesn't put the onus on the griever to think about it, to follow up, to come up with a plan. They've got enough going on already. They need to focus on their healing. And if you as a... person in their life, a loved one that can help them and show them how you can support them that feels comfortable for you too. So then it's mutually respectful. It's respecting both people's boundaries, where they're coming from, where they're at currently. It just creates just this much more beautiful way to support someone grieving and for both to heal together. that's been a huge Leslie Youngblood (15:23) Thank you. Neal And Samara Tricarico (15:40) helpful communication tip and how to communicate with someone who's grieving just offer some very specific things. Leslie Youngblood (15:42) again. Mm-hmm. Yes. I think that is Simply mind blowing a simple change of that because we've all said that let me know how I can help whether it's a grief or even a new baby. Right. Let me know how I can help. And you're always like, yep, sure. And then your brain is mush. And you just can't think and you would love to have them help you. They want to help you. And again, because that human brain wants to solve a problem and wants to help. But giving a couple of those things and leaving it open ended I just think. Neal And Samara Tricarico (15:55) Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (16:14) my goodness, if everybody just started doing that, just the support and that help would just be monumental, just monumental. Small shift. Right. Neal And Samara Tricarico (16:20) Yeah, yeah. It enhances the level of communication and the connection, right? If we're talking about community and connection, it deepens that connection because I will allow you in and I will trust you to help me. I'm giving up some of my journey to you and I'm empowering you to show up for me, which again, in turn, it helps everyone. And I think the common thing in our society is like, someone passes away and people flood the family with meals. And so you get lasagnas and casseroles and all these things in your freezer. And that's great. That's so nice. Again, from a loving place. But you know, we can evolve that conversation and take it to another place. So yeah, maybe my fridge is full. I don't need another meal. I just, haven't been out of the house for days. I'd love to just take a walk. Or you know what, I'd love you to. Leslie Youngblood (16:52) Yes. So much food. Yes. I'm here. Neal And Samara Tricarico (17:14) for you to come and watch my toddler so I can take a shower, or my newborn if I've just had a baby. It applies to lots of different life situations. It's really when someone is transitioning, going through a trauma, has had a significant change in their life that they're adjusting to, right? Whether it's death, whether it's life. There's lots of big changes where. Leslie Youngblood (17:17) Right. Mm-hmm. Yes. Mm-hmm. including. Neal And Samara Tricarico (17:38) we can support one another through deepening that connection to what really matters to that person at that time. Leslie Youngblood (17:44) Definitely. And I think also too, that is something that whether you are a friend in that person's personal life or you're that person's boss or that person's coworker, I think that also too is so difficult to navigate those work relationships to when you're grieving or whether it's an employee that's grieving or a teammate that's grieving. And so I think we can also, and I would love for you to speak to it Samara about the boundaries. Like how do you communicate those boundaries and just engaging in that? Neal And Samara Tricarico (17:53) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (18:13) conversation with the how can I help one two three also sets a boundary but also shows that you care and are thinking and want to support that person as well. Neal And Samara Tricarico (18:16) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, you can apply the same model to a working environment and... whether it's someone on your team or someone that's working for you directly or however, it can take the same format of like, hey, you might need a little extra help. Do we need to have someone help review your emails or help you run these meetings that you previously ran? Maybe you want to be there and you're capable of showing up, or maybe you're finding diving into your work is helpful with your grief. Again, everyone's grief is unique and people process differently. So, what does support look like from me as your manager or as your teammate? I could make these few suggestions, additional admin support, maybe you need to leave a little bit earlier each day, maybe I need to encourage you to go take a walk on your lunch break or there's the same types of Leslie Youngblood (19:07) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Neal And Samara Tricarico (19:20) invitations can be presented rather than again having the person come up with will you tell me you can offer some some possibilities to them and and also just you know in any relationship to when you you have conflict or change or things like this okay something's come up It's really helpful for you as the person supporting someone grieving, decide what you're going to do. You can offer these things, you can set your own boundaries. Yes, I know this person is grieving. Maybe I need to give them a little more time off. Maybe I need to offer them, work with HR and see if there's anything we can do to give them a little more paid leave. Whatever it is. Leslie Youngblood (19:46) and and you Neal And Samara Tricarico (20:01) kind of owning your power and your offering versus you tell me, grieving person, you tell me how this is gonna look. Like they don't know. Likely they're gonna be very dependent on their income still coming in. That's gonna be very important. So easing their mind, easing their stresses to say, look, we've got this covered. Leslie Youngblood (20:08) Right. Right. Right. Thank you. Neal And Samara Tricarico (20:24) There's so many different ways, Depending on if they're commission-based, different creative ways to help that person know that you support them, that they don't have to worry about that, easing their worries and offering solutions. Leslie Youngblood (20:29) ready Mm hmm. Totally. think the kindness that you demonstrate to that person in that time, they will never forget that. And you shared in all those things, they don't even probably realize they need that or that extra time or maybe they'll say, no, I don't need it. But just the very act of you offering that in behaving in that way, they can say no to everything or that's OK. But. Neal And Samara Tricarico (21:03) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (21:07) And I think so much of us wait to act or I'll wait till they tell me they need time or or I don't know what to do. They'll come to me. It's like, no, take the initiative and be that. How do like? Neal And Samara Tricarico (21:17) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (21:19) not like protector, but be that support system for that person that is in your life, whether you know them well or you don't because they're a new employee. every single human needs that type of grace when they're going through something. It's monumental, it's change is what they're going through. And those are not difficult things to do, having a conversation with HR or telling them go out. Neal And Samara Tricarico (21:23) Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Mm-hmm. Right. Leslie Youngblood (21:41) Take a walk or let me buy you lunch today or how are you feeling? just those simple things go such a long way and it's truly the essence of what being a human is about is that connection Mm-hmm. Yes Hmm. Yes ⁓ Neal And Samara Tricarico (21:44) Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And just being able to hold space for someone too. think, you know, because death is so... kind of not part of our regular vernacular. It's not part of our everyday conversation. And as you said at the beginning, it's a little bit taboo. Letting that person know it's okay. I understand your grieving. I understand someone in your life has died. I'm here to support you. Creating that space for them to know, we're not gonna ignore the fact that you're going through this Leslie Youngblood (22:11) again. What? What? Neal And Samara Tricarico (22:31) I think people often just shy away from it like well I don't want to bring it up because I'm gonna make that person sad. Well guess what? That person is experiencing their grief whether you acknowledge it or not. Leslie Youngblood (22:36) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (22:45) And so by acknowledging it, you allow them to kind let their guard down a little bit, know that they have support, know that they can be their true selves, and kind of, that's so helpful with the healing journey of not having to hide who they are or what they're going through. Leslie Youngblood (23:02) Mm-hmm. my goodness for sure and you might think I don't want to upset them I don't want to make them cry and really that's I I will love to hear you take but I think that's sort of selfish because guess what? So what but to that's what? Neal And Samara Tricarico (23:12) Mm-hmm. Right. Leslie Youngblood (23:16) being a person you're emotional and going through something Yes, you probably will make them cry, but not because you're trying to hurt their feelings because you this is a very raw state to be in and for them to give that space to them and to recognize that and reflect it back. and again, for that person to feel understood, I know what you're going through because I lost my mom or I lost my dad and it's OK. I get it. You don't have to pretend with me. My goodness is. Neal And Samara Tricarico (23:17) Right. bright. Right. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (23:43) Such a Neal And Samara Tricarico (23:43) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (23:44) simple yet again so powerful thing for people. Neal And Samara Tricarico (23:47) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (23:47) And so so when we talk about going through this and having others in our life that can support and being there for others, and you know, I know a lot, we talk about it, that could be like a buzzword is self-care and how every journey and every person's particular form of self-care is different in regular life. And when you're going through, you know, a big change, tell us about how important self-care was for you, Samara, and how others should Neal And Samara Tricarico (23:59) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. yeah. Leslie Youngblood (24:14) really lean into that too as they move forward in their journey. Neal And Samara Tricarico (24:17) Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, that's critical for you when you're going through a traumatic experience, whether you have a loved one hospitalized that's healing from injury or you're facing death. Whatever it is, prioritizing your own self-care. It's got to start with you. It's like the whole phrase of putting your oxygen mask on first when you're on the airplane. mean, they tell you that because you have to be able to first show up in order to help show up for the others in your life, for your loved ones. For me, during that nine week time when we were in the hospital, someone said, It was essentially like treat yourself like you would a garden, make sure that you're getting water and sunlight. Because there were days where we wouldn't want to leave his bedside. We wanted to stay in the hospital the whole time. We knew it was so precious and every second mattered. Leslie Youngblood (25:02) Hmm. Right, of course. you Neal And Samara Tricarico (25:16) But the moments when I got outside and I got fresh air and I felt the sunshine on my face, it was very restorative and renewing for my soul, for my spirit. I needed that. I needed that to keep going. Drinking water. Just some of these basics. It really comes back to basics in survival. if we're not, I mean, that was the beginning. And then pretty quickly, I'm Leslie Youngblood (25:37) Thank you. Neal And Samara Tricarico (25:41) very physically fit. I go to the gym most days during the week. I'm active. I have an active lifestyle. So yeah, when we were at Ronald McDonald House, I used their gym. went in and I lifted weights. I feel like our experience as humans is holistic, whether we acknowledge it or not. So we need to really care for mind, body, and spirit. And so Leslie Youngblood (25:58) That's it. Yes. Neal And Samara Tricarico (26:04) Empowering ourselves physically helps to empower ourselves mentally and emotionally and spiritually. And so they all kind of work together. So I needed to keep going to the gym to lift the weights, to go outside and have walks in the sunshine so that I could keep the strength for the mental, emotional, spiritual experience that I was going through of saying goodbye to my son. Leslie Youngblood (26:28) you Mm-hmm. Yeah. Neal And Samara Tricarico (26:32) So yeah, mean, I, as quick as I could was back into the community gym, you know, going back with other people into group workouts. You know, I definitely felt like there were some eyes on me like, wow, like you're here, like what are you doing here? It was like, I need to be here for myself and for my own preservation, you know, so that I can keep going. Leslie Youngblood (26:48) Right. Right. Neal And Samara Tricarico (26:54) And not to mention the hormones, the endorphins, the feel-good feelings that happen from that. all works together and it's vital to prioritize yourself a little bit. It's hard when you're going through that to not, I mean, I know we're both moms and nurturing others. We wanna make sure everyone else is taken care of and often we take care of ourselves last. Leslie Youngblood (27:04) Thank Mm-hmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (27:23) we need to kind of shift that as well to increase the priority of our own self-care. And even if it's because then you know you can show up for others, that's fine. Whatever it takes to kind of convince you of it, for me that's usually where it comes from. It's like, okay, you can't take care of the rest of your family unless you're taking care of yourself. Leslie Youngblood (27:26) Right. Mm-hmm. Yes. Right. ⁓ 100%. Right. There's no gold star for suffering in silence and letting yourself go or not tending to yourself. And no one else is going to do that. And it's... Neal And Samara Tricarico (27:46) So it's like, OK, I need to do that. And yeah. Leslie Youngblood (28:01) Like you said, we're both moms and as mothers, and women too, we give and want to do all the things, but when it's not good with us, that ripples out. And so especially when you're going through that. Neal And Samara Tricarico (28:03) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (28:14) You need every single bit of you, how you can feel good or how you can care for yourself, truly the way that people want to care for you, hold you and hug you and hug yourself and nurture yourself and give yourself that grace and hold space for yourself. We, know, as others, we want to hold space for others, but... Neal And Samara Tricarico (28:20) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Leslie Youngblood (28:32) My goodness, hold that space for yourself as well, because that's really like the biggest relationship to is that inter one. So and like we said, there's no right or wrong way to go through it and how we again, aren't given the tools. Then somebody says it's OK to go back to the gym or it's OK to laugh or they have a great day going through what you're going through. Don't feel guilty. This is all normal. And, you know, I know that we've seen Neal And Samara Tricarico (28:36) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (29:00) some progress in the Endurant Movement is such a big part of that. And I've also had or I've seen conversations about death doulas and how we have. Neal And Samara Tricarico (29:07) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (29:09) birth doulas that help bring life into the world. there's more more conversations that I'm hearing or seeing. And I think even Riley Keough, who is an actress and a musician, she got registered as a death doula when her brother was passing away. And death literacy and how do we navigate these conversations and these experiences? Tell us your experience with that, Samara, and how... Neal And Samara Tricarico (29:19) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (29:34) we're trying to become more skillful around this very difficult yet natural experience of being a human. Neal And Samara Tricarico (29:40) Yeah, yeah. Well, you said it before, Leslie, death is part of life. I mean, it's something that we all will experience. And death doula is, think, just kind of helped to shepherd us through that process as individuals and as family members. And ⁓ we didn't use a death doula in the hospital, but I was introduced to a number of them. And I've met a number of them. And I feel very Leslie Youngblood (29:55) Mm-hmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (30:06) drawn to their spirit and their mission, which is to just help for this phase of life, for this experience, because it is a universal experience. And we are a little bit illiterate in this country and our society. I many different cultures handle death totally differently. But here, it's kind of a... Leslie Youngblood (30:13) Right. Good evening. Neal And Samara Tricarico (30:27) off topic, not the normal conversation, whatever normal is. But it's not mainstream as much. And it's becoming a little bit more. But I think through Death Duelas, there's also something called the Death Cafe, which is international now. I think it's in like 85 different countries. There are different chapters all over. it's just. Leslie Youngblood (30:29) you Right. ⁓ Mmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (30:50) an invitation to an open-ended conversation about death. And I've been going once a month here locally. And it's really just... an opportunity to have an authentic conversation and it can be around anything. There's no set like objective or agenda other than just inviting people to have a space where they can talk about it and I've had you know conversations from you know what's a funeral file you know people have have files on okay when I pass this is what I want so they can give that to their family member. ⁓ Leslie Youngblood (31:02) you Neal And Samara Tricarico (31:24) What a wonderful idea. So you're not left with this mystery, know, end of life planning, wills and that kind of thing. Also, you know, is there life after death? What is, you know, the afterlife about? do, you know, different people believe about that? Nobody's right or wrong in this situation. It's just all a welcome conversation. I find it really intriguing, especially because with Leslie Youngblood (31:27) Mm. Mm-hmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (31:51) The loss of my son, I felt empowered to define my own experience and to not be shamed and stigmatized for something that happened in our family and in our life. I think it's... Leslie Youngblood (31:58) you Neal And Samara Tricarico (32:07) I've been offered an opportunity to share in a way that can turn my pain into purpose and a pain into power and to help other people. And I feel like I feel no judgment in the death cafes. And I can talk about my experience. And I can share about the joy and the strength and the spiritual gains that I've had because of this. Leslie Youngblood (32:14) You know, yes. Bye. Neal And Samara Tricarico (32:29) you know, a lot of life experience I've been shown, you know, is, can be pain and joy simultaneously. And so I've been able to kind of experience this like, you know, somewhat paradoxical experience where they're happening simultaneously. I... just feel like having these more authentic conversations create more possibility and more potential for human growth and human evolution. It's part of a bigger picture of how we evolve as... Leslie Youngblood (32:54) All Thank you. Neal And Samara Tricarico (33:01) members of community that can support one another. feel like that's one of the biggest messages I've been given through this experience is we're not here alone and we're not here to experience this alone. ⁓ And we can transform our pain into purpose by helping others. It's like by giving back and by being of service to others, it's helping me and the community and it becomes that mutually beneficial Leslie Youngblood (33:07) Mm. you rights. Neal And Samara Tricarico (33:29) experience where everyone's helped in the process, but it's done through the power of community. Leslie Youngblood (33:32) Thank Right, right. And it's the one-to-one and the one-to-many, every single connection matters. And every single conversation that you've received and you've put forth improves the circumstances for everybody. And it's just really profound and beautiful when you think about that, because it really is something that needs to change, And that people... Neal And Samara Tricarico (33:58) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (33:59) I think more than ever in an age of technology, I always am so pleasantly surprised by how much more connection, human to human connection and in-person connection we are craving, even with AI and the onset, that whether you're just going about your everyday or whether you're going through this really big life change, it's the person to person, it's the community, the people truly in your life and connecting with them. Neal And Samara Tricarico (34:12) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (34:26) that has the most benefit for people. And I think that's really where the change comes is in those moments together. And so the work that you're doing, again, is just incredible and important and needed. we talked about when in the workspace and as female founders too, Neal And Samara Tricarico (34:28) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (34:46) we're more empathetic and connected with our emotions. And so maybe we're more likely to give grace and hold space for those going through some of these experiences. Tell us more, Samara, your thoughts on how founders who are even grieving themselves, right? Because... Neal And Samara Tricarico (35:03) Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (35:04) Again, as women, and you mentioned before, we'll just, we will help everybody else and not worry about ourselves. Talk to us about how delegating, setting expectations and staying connected without burning out. How does one go about that? Neal And Samara Tricarico (35:11) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, mean, there's a couple of things that come to mind with that question. The first is, you know, for anyone grieving, I would say treat yourself as you would your best friend. So especially as a leader, think about, okay, if my friend were a leader. what would they want or need and kind of offer that invitation to yourself. And so yes, setting boundaries, delegating, letting go a little bit, seeing where there's an opportunity to relinquish some of the power and the control. Leslie Youngblood (35:38) Mm-hmm. Mm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (35:52) That's really hard. That's really hard to let go. Yet that's where a lot of the lessons and the juice are. think we're, you know, that's like even with our story with like. Leslie Youngblood (36:00) Yeah. Neal And Samara Tricarico (36:06) letting go of our privacy and letting our community come in. That was a tough choice, but that was the impetus for so much change and growth. Being able to let go a little bit might offer a greater volume of support and growth. Leslie Youngblood (36:10) Sure. Neal And Samara Tricarico (36:28) The other thing about the leader role is to, and whether that's a parent, whether that's a leader of a company, being the model, right, like exemplifying these qualities and what this experience could look like. So instead of just telling people, yeah, you need to, you know. set aside time for yourself and allow yourself to grieve and to find support and to come up with a new schedule and do all these things. You have to do that yourself first, right? So you have to be the model, be the example of what you want your reports to do or your family to do or the other people around you. So it's like walk the walk. Leslie Youngblood (37:12) Mm-hmm. Great. And that's hard. That is not easy. That is not easy to do either of those things, whether it's allowing yourself to be vulnerable or telling your team, or I'm going to take this time because we think it's all going to disappear or I can't have something else bad happen or it's all going to go away if I do that. That truly is not true. it's one of those ways we trick ourselves, And in a horrible time where there's all sorts of things going on. Neal And Samara Tricarico (37:22) Mm-hmm. rate. rate. Great. Absolutely. Leslie Youngblood (37:43) That's not true. And I also think what is so profound too, Samara, that you said there is letting the community in and being that vulnerable and trusting in them. in letting them see that part of you and but my goodness could there be anything more profound than doing that and realizing the support and the care and the kindness and the grace that is there waiting for you on the other side of that fear? I can't imagine and especially I think Suicide is still heavily stigmatized and so tell us to specifically guidance, know, would you give leaders in naming it with care and and not sensationalizing nor erasing it? Tell us a little bit too about that specifically and how that played into everything too. Neal And Samara Tricarico (38:28) Yeah. I mean, specifically with suicide, there is so much stigma and fear around it, yet the more we don't talk about it, the more power it's given. And so through opening up those conversations, naming it for what it is, acknowledging it's the second leading cause of death for people ages 10 to 24, second leading cause, yet we don't talk about it, allowing that information and using the word suicide Leslie Youngblood (38:38) Right, right. Neal And Samara Tricarico (38:58) as scary as it is, the more we talk about it and the more we normalize the conversation, we allow those that are experiencing ideation or having struggle to know that they're not alone, to know that there are people and a community of people that are willing to have that difficult conversation with them. They're able to show up and be on the other end of that. Leslie Youngblood (39:10) right. Neal And Samara Tricarico (39:21) the phone, the presence, be in that conversation with them to hold space for them. That's how we make the changes and that's how we find safety and we save lives. It's through having the real authentic conversations. And again, as a leader modeling that, it creates an environment where people know, okay, I can be real here. Leslie Youngblood (39:26) right. Right. Mm-hmm. right. Neal And Samara Tricarico (39:47) And at the end of the day with giving up the control, I often ask myself, what's the worst that can happen? I mean, my son's gone. My son's dead. Leslie Youngblood (39:54) Right. Neal And Samara Tricarico (39:58) showing up in front of hundreds of people and not knowing exactly what I'm going to say or maybe I didn't respond to the email in a timely fashion or I wasn't prepared on a meeting. I'm doing the best I can and I'm here and I'm showing up and you know what the person on the other end of that can say, hey, I see the reality of this situation and this person and when they're then faced with an adverse situation. Leslie Youngblood (40:21) Mmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (40:25) they're going to say, gosh, I was able to give Samara grace. I can now give myself grace, and I can ask others to give me grace because I've seen that. It's really important that we model and let go of this need for perfection. It's not realistic. Leslie Youngblood (40:29) Right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm. No. Neal And Samara Tricarico (40:45) We are here to help each other learn and grow. We all have pain. We all have difficult situations. And if we can provide a little grace to one another in that, again, starting with ourselves, but then allowing that to ripple out, what a more peaceful and kind world we live in. Leslie Youngblood (40:49) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ⁓ Right, I wanna live in that world. Every little bit that matters and to have the tools and like you said, to ripple that out. That type of energy and grace and love is contagious and palpable too, that people really feel that. And without even having you to speak directly to them through listening to a speech of yours or to even be a part of a team that's working with Endurint. Neal And Samara Tricarico (41:22) Yeah. Leslie Youngblood (41:33) It's it's like compounds out that energy compounds. And it's a miracle. truly to take something that you're going through and to use it for the service of others is a miracle, of being a human and to be able to make change and help others by sharing what you're going through and being not perfect. Because like you said, nobody is perfect. Maybe that's to why I think we get uncomfortable with talking about death. Neal And Samara Tricarico (41:35) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Leslie Youngblood (41:58) or going through those types of situations or somebody gets sick because it's like everything needs to be perfect. I need to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect employee, the perfect business owner. And this is going to trip me up. And it's like, my God, no, please stop. Please stop. Neal And Samara Tricarico (41:58) Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, and stop acting like death is this horrible thing that's gonna happen at the end of the rainbow. You know, it's... It can actually be a really beautiful part of a life experience. And... Leslie Youngblood (42:19) Mmm. Mmm! ⁓ Mm-hmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (42:26) even if it's not, even if it's messy and horrible and it's a murder or a suicide, like traumatic and tragic, difficult, horrible experiences, there's also light in that. There's also an experience for transformation and growth and beauty and helping others. It doesn't happen right away. It happens through Leslie Youngblood (42:28) Right. Mm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (42:51) you know, kindness, community, trust, healing, it's possible. And I think that's a big part of our message with the movement is to... to let others know that you don't have to stay in suffering, that the pain is real, but it doesn't have to consume you for the rest of your existence. I mean, I miss my son every day. I have felt depths of sadness that I never thought possible. Leslie Youngblood (43:07) Mm. Mmm. Neal And Samara Tricarico (43:21) And yet I can go on and I can show up and I can find purpose and joy and beauty and happiness. I mean, that feels like a miracle and it's possible. And so that's a really important message that I feel like is the power of possibility. Leslie Youngblood (43:29) you Yes, definitely. And I think that is so wonderful that that's exactly what you help others with through Endurance and the movement. And I would love for you to share what is next for the movement, Samara? Neal And Samara Tricarico (43:50) Yeah, so we're continuing with our podcast with the show. So we've finished season one and we'll be kicking off season two in the beginning of 2026. We'll continue to feature experts as well as teen voices. They are so excited about it and it's been very well received to have them interview and talk with one another. We're also... doing a fundraising campaign at the end of 2025 in through the end of the year. We also have Survivors of Suicide Lost Day, there's a few other national days, like National Stress Awareness Day and World Kindness Day. So we're kind of working with those dates, but the campaign is called Miles and Smiles, and it's really about... raising funds for Endurant to continue our movement and to continue the help that we have in the various communities of post-traumatic growth, teen mental health, and autism and suicide awareness. the effort, the Miles and Smiles, it's around kind of like a team and training. So there's a physical endurance component, was a big part of Anthony's life on this planet, was endurance races and things like that. So it's sort of miles, like a dollar for every mile, you run or swim and you can have people sponsor you. And then there's also the smiles component is mental health. So bringing joy to someone else, whether that's taking someone to coffee or extending a hand or giving them a bracelet or just reaching out and helping other people. reinforcing that community aspect that we are all here as a community. So you can sign up as an individual, you can do it as a team. And then we're just continuing to raise awareness. That's really fundamental for our movement is to continuing to raise awareness. Leslie Youngblood (45:36) I love that. And we'll share all the information for Miles and Smiles in the show notes as well. And where else as we wrap up today, Samara, where can our listeners connect with you? all that good stuff before we leave. Neal And Samara Tricarico (45:46) yeah. Yeah, well, the movement is EndurantMovement.org and you can donate you can find out all about what we're doing. ⁓ Resources, can find out about the Miles and Smiles campaign and then EnduranceMovement.org slash show. The Endurance show is on Apple, YouTube, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts. You can subscribe. We'd love for people to review and to let us know what you think about it. Again, that helps to amplify our message. And if you're able and interested to donate, we are a full 501c3 nonprofit organization. tax deductible and we're just grateful for all the support and the outreach and for the opportunity to share this conversation. think it's really important. Some of the concepts are very simple yet very profound and they can really help you know individuals and teams to grow, to amplify, to heal. Leslie Youngblood (46:33) Right. Yes, definitely. Well, and I think this conversation today is going to help a lot of people do those very exact same things too. And we are so appreciative that you joined us and share your journey and all the wonderful miracles you are doing with what you're going through and the movement, is so important and needed. And again, just thank you so very, very much, Samara, for joining us today and for having this incredible conversation. Neal And Samara Tricarico (47:08) Thank you, Leslie. It's been a pleasure. Thank you. Leslie Youngblood (47:10) Cheers. Leslie Youngblood (47:15) Thanks for tuning in to Serious Lady Business. If you loved this episode, be sure to follow or subscribe so you never miss a moment of the real, raw, and really wonderful sides of female entrepreneurship. And hey, please leave a review if you're feeling generous. It helps more amazing women find us and join the conversation. You can also connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube at at Serious Lady Business and get all of the updates at SeriousLadyBusiness.com. Until next time, keep showing up, keep building, and keep being your seriously amazing self.