Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #169_ HOST MINISTER ALMA THOMAS

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DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #169_ HOST MINISTER ALMA THOMAS · DA CREW Podcast

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  Hey, and welcome to the Crow podcast. We are the hottest podcast rocking
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  right now. We are currently looking for a six amazing hosts to join our
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  family for season two that will keep off February the first, twenty twenty four.
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  voice to be heard around the world. Aspiring Authors Magazine an international magazine founded
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  in May of twenty twenty by Queen Angela. Get featured Tune in to the
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  All Do Live Again podcast show with your host Amma Thomas. For God,
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  so love the world that it gave us only begotten sun, that who should
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  ever shall believe, shall not perish the half ever that's TV. I'm stealing.
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  Good evening, Good evening. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, We welcome
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  you to the Crew podcast, where we have the hottest production teams in the
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  world HTA Productions, and we are looking HCA enterprises and we are looking for
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  people to join our team in twenty twenty four. As always, today we're
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  going to start this broadcast with a prayer. Thank you Jesus, Thank you
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  Jesus and the precious name of Jesus, Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you,
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  huh. We ask you to forgive any sins, no known and unknown
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  God, we approach this holiday season. God, we asked that you comfort
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  those that have sorrow. God, that you rock them in your arms.
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  God, and you soothe them like nobody else can. In the precious name
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  of your son Jesus. And once again, once again, I am Minister
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  Alma Thomas of the Live Again podcast, where we encourage people to live again
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  after some traumatic experience or occurrence in their lives. You can live again.
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  And on tonight we are going to be discussing holiday greef. Many of us
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  who have lost someone on this holiday season, especially if you had traditions with
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  them, you have holiday grief. You don't. They are not looking forward
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  to the holidays. I remember that my son used to love the season between
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  Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those was his two favorite holidays, and now that he's
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  going they don't hold the same meaning for me. I have to continue on
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  because I have a daughter that I can't drop the ball for her because I'm
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  not feeling. But during this season, many people commit suicide because they are
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  so depressed and they feel like they don't have a way out. So we're
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  gonna begin tonight with a quote, life torst us up into the air,
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  scattered us, and we are we all somehow bound our way back, and
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  we will do it again and again and again. And that's from Andrea Braxton.
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  Don't you wish you can press pores on the grieving process during the holiday
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  season. I remember wishing I could do just that doing the first and several
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  holiday seasons following the painful death of my son. I recall being conflicted as
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  there were times when I wanted to participate and the excitement and joy, but
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  I felt guilty enjoying the holidays with doubt my son. That conflict still sometimes
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  exists today. And it's been many years since my son passed away. He
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  passed away February thirteenth, two thousand and nine. So you know that from
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  two thousand and nine until twoenty twenty four, there has been many Christmases and
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  many Thanksgiving, but every time that time of the year comes around, I
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  feel a sadness of heaveness because I missed those traditions that we had together.
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  Greece is complicated and unique for everyone. While accepting loss becomes easy over time,
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  is something we carry within us forever. Like some people when they're grief
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  counselors, they tell you that it's gonna get better, but I don't feel
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  that it ever gets better. I feel that God enables you to live through
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  it. God enables you to live again after such a painful loss, But
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  you never get over that person. You never get over that hurt because they're
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  never coming back. So even though you realize that they're in a better place,
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  you still miss them because you can't see them when you want to.
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  Greef is like an ocean. It comes in ways, ebbing and flowing.
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  Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it's overwhelming. All we can do is
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  learn to swim. And that quote is by Vicky Harrison. Grief is always
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  involving, and at times the feelings seem to be out of our control.
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  At times I can't help the tears from flowing. I can help the tears
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  from flowing when people that are around his age thirty three, when they have
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  milestones in their life, when they get married or have their first child.
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  I often daydream and think what would be like my son would be like if
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  he lived to be thirty three years old. I know he committed, he
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  not committed. He finished his mission here on earth because even though oh he
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  was only eighteen years old, he was saved, sanctified, and filled with
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  the Holy Ghost, and he was ready to go because he had done in
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  his tiny short life things that people haven't done in ninety years. Grief is
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  always involving, and at times the feeling seems to be out of our control.
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  Therefore, the poors button does not exist, and it is challenging to
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  be in pain while there is so much joy around you that made you feel
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  so much pain. People are happy and they're excited, and they're enjoying their
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  families. And your circle has been broken. Your circle will continuously be broken.
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  However, there are things you can do to help alleviate some of that
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  that you might be experienced. If you are someone you know or grieving during
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  the holiday season. Here are some helpful tips to help get through this potentially
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  painful period and when you rather talk to someone at four o'clock in the morning
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  than for somebody to call you eight o'clock in the morning and tell you that
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  they killed theirselfs because they didn't think there was no way out and the holidays
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  in this season was just too much for them to there. So one thing
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  that you can do to help alleviate your grief is set your boundaries with holiday
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  events. You can participate in or not participate, and whatever you feel right
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  for you. It's okay to say no, I'm not coming. Thank you
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  for the invitation, but I'm not coming, and that's okay. While there
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  may be pressure to attend a holiday party, family gathering, holidays show,
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  remember to check in with your wants and needs to identify your readiness. Don't
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  let anybody tell you, oh, it's been ten years, you can go
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  to this party. He's been dead for ten years. If you don't want
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  to go to the party, it's okay to say no. Don't let anybody
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  pressure you into doing something that you don't want to do. It may be
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  helpful to commit to something that sounds fun while reminding yourself that you really don't
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  have to stay their entire time. It's also okay to opt out of say
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  things all together. Finding a balance between engaging and not pushing yourself is important.
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  Don't allow anyone to guilt you into doing something that you're not ready to
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  do, because the outcome would be worse than you telling them no you don't
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  want to go. Tune into your grief emotions. As mentioned above, grief
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  does not take a back seat during the holidays and can often be magnified.
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  Is important to acknowledge your feelings and not avoid them. You may experience both
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  negative and positive feelings during the holiday while grieving, and that is okay.
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  Be kind to yourself and remember that all feelings can go as can go with
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  this one moment. Minute, you might be full of joy and ready to
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  go to the holiday party, and just a song or a smell or a
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  taste can bring you in the remembrance of your loved one and you go from
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  laughing to crying hysterically, and that's all right. Feelings do coexist. You
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  can be happy one moment and sad the next. For example, I commence
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  that person and enjoy the holiday at the same time. It may be tempting
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  to numb out with drugs or alcohol during that holidays. Don't use substances to
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  get through the holiday, because when the holiday is over, your problem is
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  still there. When you come down from that hire or after that hey over,
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  your problem is still there. Your loved one is still not here and
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  drinking a whole bottle of alcohol, taking a whole bottle of pills in the
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  number for a while, but when you become unnumbed, the problem still exists.
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  Anticipating the difficult emotions and preparing ahead of time will help prevent negative consequences
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  from occurring. Plan ahead to fill empty holiday rolls. Lass often means that
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  certain roles will need to be filled. It's important to think of head,
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  especially with children, to consider who will fill these vacated roids. Dad always
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  dressed at Senna or Auntie always cut the turkey. Planning the head can avoid
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  unnecessary moments of grief and can help the experience more fluid and enjoyable. So
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  whatever that person role they used to play in the holidays, make sure that
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  you're fill in that void. Because if all of a sudden, it's time
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  to play Santa Claus and you are going to break down because you're gonna remember
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  when Daddy used to play Santa Claus, and it's okay. If someone else
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  is playing Santa Claus and you still remember that your dad used to play Santa
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  Claus and you fell a wave of grief because someone else's Santaclaus. It's okay.
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  If Auntie used to carve the turkey make the best stuffing, and now
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  someone else is carving the turkey and making the stuff and it's okay to cry
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  and remembrance. Like I said, different sounds, tastes, and events are
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  always gonna bring back that person to your rememberance. Honor old traditions, and
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  honor memories. It can be helpful to continue with old traditions that insisted in
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  order to honor and celebrate the individuals who are no longer here. This is
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  an helpful way to keep their memories present. And that's what I do during
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  the Christmas time. I remember how much my son used to love Christmas and
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  how I would get in those black Friday lines that make sure he wanted got
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  everything he wanted for Christmas. I remember the first Thanksgiving when he came home
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  from the hospital and he was on a low sort loaded back everything diet,
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  and he was like, that's all right, because I know my Auntie going
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  to make sure that there's something there that I can eat. And my sister
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  sure made sure that she made dishes that didn't have a lot of salt and
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  butter and all that stuff. She made the dishes that he can eat,
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  And I remember those things that he enjoyed those holidays. Create new traditions.
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  Creating new traditions can be healing for individuals who are grieving. Making new memories
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  does not erase old memories. Remember, your loved one would want you to
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  enjoy the holidays. Acknowledge, validate, and then challenge any film or guilt
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  that may arise in the process. Remember, making new memories does not erase
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  old memories. You still are going to remember your loved one. You're still
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  going to remember the traditions that you have, and now you have new traditions
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  because you are adapting to your new normal. Identified grief coping skills prior to
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  the holiday season beginning, consider creating a list of go to coping skills to
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  use whether you were at home or at a social function. It will be
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  handing when the grief hits you unexpectedly. Some examples of coping skills are deep
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  re even taking a walk journaling, listening to music, practicing yoga, and
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  saying positive affirminations. Here are some validating amen A firm nation that you can
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  say, I will not be depressed, I will remember my loved one.
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  I will not cry during this season. I will have a positive attitude.
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  Volunteer, do something charitable, helping others alleviate your sadness while bringing joy into
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  someone else's life who needs it. This is always a good idea. I
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  remember that a couple of Christmases after my son passed away, I would adopt
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  other children to buy Christmas stuff for because now only had one child to buy
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  Christmas war So there's a lot of unfortunate families. And I used to teach
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  Headstart, so I had a lot of unfortunate families that just didn't have it
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  for Christmas. So I spent the money that I would have spent on my
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  son on them to make someone else's Christmas just a little happier. As for
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  help, when struggling with grief, it is important to seek support from friends,
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  families, coworkers, and professionals if needed. Remember it's okay not to
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  be okay, whether you have lost someone close to you or not. The
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  holidays can bring up many complicated feelings. It is completely normal and can be
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  helpful to seek services from a therapist or psychologist. You can talk out your
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  feelings with them. Sometimes when you are going through grief, people give you
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  an expiration date for your grief, but there's no expliration date for grief.
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  You might have lost someone one ten years ago and you're still grieving. You
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  might have lost someone twenty years ago and you're still grieving. No one can
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  tell you how or when to grieve, and sometimes you need to talk to
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  a professional that knows that area that can give you some texts and some ideas,
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  because sometimes when you are going through certain situations, people just don't know
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  what to say. They think that they're helping you, but they're not the
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  things that they're being helpful in time, but you're not receiving it in that
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  way. So it might be helpful for you to speak to a neutral party,
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  someone that doesn't know you, to talk you with you, to let
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  you for you to let them know that you are not okay, that you
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  might be wearing a mask. I remember, for years after my son passed
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  away, I was wearing a mask and people were saying to me that,
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  oh, you are so strong. Oh, I would never have been able
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  to bury my son. I would have never been able to go through it.
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  I don't know how you feel, but I know that I couldn't have
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  done it. And inside, on the outside, I was wearing a mask
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  of strength. I was superwoman. I went back to work after a weekend.
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  I was superwoman. But on the inside, I was slowly dying because
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  I was concealing my grief from everyone. I was holding it in and not
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  allowing people to see the pain that I was going through and just reached.
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  As matter of fact, today my daughter was telling me that when my son
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  tessed away and my cousin pessed away, the way that we told her was
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  traumatic. That we traumatized her and we didn't even realize that that's the way
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  that she felt. So you got to allow not understand that not only you
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  are grieving, but the loss of that person affected other people. So allowed
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  them to express their feelings and not keep everything inside. In conclusion, we
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  know the holiday season is not always as mary as we wanted to be.
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  It is normal to feel apprehensive about it, and you're not alone in feeling
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  that way. Don't ever think that you're alone and only you are going through
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  that feeling. If you seek other support groups, you will find out.
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  If you seek a support group with mothers that low's children, you will find
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  out that they feel the same way that you are not alone. Please remember
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  that there's no right or wrong way to approach the holiday season following the loss
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  of a loved one. If you experience happiness, allow it to enter into
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  your grief, faith and be present with the people around you. Be kind
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  to yourself and take it one holiday party and one feeling at a time.
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  Once again, don't allow anybody to pressure you into doing something that you are
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  not ready to do. So we know that the holiday season is upon us
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  and whatever you are feeling, whatever you are going through, do not feel
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  that you are alone. There's always places that you can reach out. You
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  can try grief Share. Grief Share is a national program for people who are
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  dealing with grief. And now before we end on tonight, we're going to
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  end with prayer the holidays to those that are celebrating, to those that are
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  going through I am praying for you, dear Heavenly Father and the precious matchless
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  name of your son Jesus. We come to you, Father, asking that
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  you sue us doing this holiday season, did you give us a peace that
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  surpasses all understanding. We understand that we can cast all our kids on you,
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  for you cares for us. We understand that we can do all things
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  through Christ, which strengthens us. Father, God, as we are weak
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  and you are strong, step in and heal our hearts, heal our emotions
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  and the precious name of your son, Jesus. And if there's anybody listening
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  to me or will listen to me, or the replay, and you have
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  not accepted the one who can really, we've been only endures for a night.
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  But joy is gonna come in the morning. And if you don't know
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  the one who gives you joy, unspeakable joy, the joy that the world
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  can give you and the world can take it away. I introduce you to
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  my friend Jesus. Jesus loves you, and he died on the cross for
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  your sins. There is no sin that is bad enough that God will not
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  take you in. So if you confess with your mouth and you believe with
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  your heart that Jesus came and died on the course for your sins, and
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  you repent, become sorry for your sins. You are saved. Find yourself
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  a Bible, believe in church during this season, and you will find a
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  joy that no man, no alcohol, no drug can give you. Nobody,
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  nobody can do you like Jesus. One day, I searched all over,
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  but I still couldn't find nobody until I found Jesus. So happy,
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  happy holidays. I love you and I will see you one more time in
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  December, the day before my sixtieth birthday, so we will be celebrating a
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  day in advance on December twentieth on my last show of two thousand and twenty
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  three. Thank you, Thank you for rocking out with me. Share this
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  episode, comment comment comment. If you need someone to talk to, I'm
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  on Facebook. Reach out to me. I will talk with you. I
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  will pray for you and the name of Jesus. Have a wonderful, wonderful
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  night, Happy holidays, and I love you and it's not a thing that
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  you can do about it. The night, the night, Good night.
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  Tune in to the all new Live Again podcast show with your host Amma Thomas.
• 31:07
  For God, so love the world that it gave us only begotten Sun
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  and who you ever shall believe