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SMNTY Classics: The Importance of Intimacy Coordinators · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I'm welcome to stuff
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I Never told you production of iHeartRadio. And recently, as
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: you may have heard, we were fortunate enough to finally
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: reunite with friend.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Of the show, Bridget Todd.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: And after a lot of times after we talked to Bridget,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: we're like, oh gosh, we just want There's so many
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: other things we want to talk to you about. And
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: one of the things that came up was intimacy coordinators.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: And especially since we just had the oscars and there
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: have been a lot of conversations about intimacy coordinators, I thought,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: why not bring back that episode that we did. Seems
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: like it's really relevant to this day it is, so
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: please enjoy this classic episode. Hey, this is Annie and
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Samantha and welcome to Stefan Never told you a protection
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. And today, unfortunately, I guess once again we
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: have to talk about something after a man made a comment.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: So we're talking about intimacy coordinators, what they do, why
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: are they're important, And this is something.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: We've wanted to do for a while.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: So you know, the circumstances might not be great, but
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: we have wanted to talk about this for a while,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: we tried to get an intimacy coordinator on the show.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: It hasn't worked out yet, but if anyone is in
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: the business or has any connections, you know where.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: To find us.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Yes, because we would love to do a revisit with
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: an interview.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: It'd be fantastic.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: But in early August of twenty twenty two, I guess
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: because who knows. When you're listening to this, actor Sean
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Bean made the comment that intimacy coordinators quote spoiled the
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: spontaneity and that sex scenes had so much better quote
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: flow before intimacy coordinators got involved, and so many women and.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Everyone else also, but a lot of women raise.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Their hands and were like, Hi, actually they're really important
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: and here's why. And we have a lot of quotes
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: from them that we're going to include towards the end.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Before we do that, we're going to get into some basics.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: But also before we do that, you can see our
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: episode we did with bridget On, Evan Rachel Wood and
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Brian Warner also known as Marilyn Manson, and her allegation
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: that he sexually assaulted her in a music video, which
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: is related to what we're going to be talking about.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: And also content warning brief discussion of sexual assault and rape.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: We're not going to get into any details, but brief
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: discussion and rants. So let's get into some of the basics.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Intimacy coordinators also known as intimacy directors, are, from my understanding,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: a relatively new thing. Essentially, they are professionals to choreograph
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: and guide intimate scenes in our entertainment. They make sure
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: these vulnerable scenes are safe and that those involved know
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: what to expect and that they feel supported. The demand
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: for intimacy coordinators or ICs rose post me too, in
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: order to make sure sets were safe. The first film
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: or TV production to announce the use of an intimacy
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: coordinator was The Deuce during their second season in twenty eighteen.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Though of no, they have been used in live theater
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: for decades.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: I didn't know that.
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: So in twenty twenty, seg After release the first standard
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: and protocols for intimacy coordinators, and soon after they release
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: an accreditation system for intimacy coordinators and a registry for
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: qualified i sees. And here's some quotes from those standards
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: and practices.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: Quote.
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: Nudity and simulated sex often have an important role in
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: telling of a story, whether in the film, television, or
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: interactive world. Although performances in these scenes convey strong feelings
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: and powerful emotions to an audience, which can be integral
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: to a storyline, sag Aftra also recognizes the unique vulnerability
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: that arises from performers when performing hyper exposed work.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Yes, and they define intimacy coordinators as quote an advocate,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: a liaison between actors and production and a movement coach
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: and or a choreographer in regards to nudity and simulated sex,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: another intimate and hyper exposed scenes, and that they quote
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: ensure that performers and other production personnel adhere to proper
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: safety protocols, serves as a resource in realizing a director's vision,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: assumes the role of movement choreographer if requested by the
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: director to enhance believability, strives to build an environment in
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: which actors understand what it's expected of them and hyper
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: exposed scenes, and to give their informed and continued consent.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: And further, sag after also suggests that intimacy coordinators should
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: be used for any scene involving simulated sex or other
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: intimate are hyper exposed scenes and here are the key qualities.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: They outline for qualified intimacy coordinators. Consent training, anti harassment,
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: anti sexual harassment training, movement coaching and masking techniques, proper
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: use of modesty, garments and barriers, meditation or conflict resolution training,
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: gender identity and sexual orientation training, anti racist EDI training
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: bystander intervention, mental health, first aid, trauma, stewardship or related training.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Must have a state and federal background check, experience, and
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: an ability to adapt and implement the rules, responsibilities, functions,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: and protocols on a variety of sets. So, according to
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: sag Aftra, here's how an IC's responsibilities might break down.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: So ideally, they are included in meetings with the writer, director, producer,
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: all of the above, sometimes just one of the above,
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: to go over the intimate scenes and key things like
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: the degree of nudity, specifics of the simulated sex, of
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: the nudity, and anything else that might be important. The
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: IC then communicates those to the actors and then relays
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: any concerns that they might have back to production. They
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: meet one on one with performers involved to discuss language
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: used sex writers that being something in your contract like
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: I won't do this, something like that. Ices are also
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: in charge of continually checking in on consent during the production,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: they deal with any disagreements or misunderstandings about how the
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: scenes should go. They also make sure that proper nudity garments, barriers,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: and prosthetics are provided.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: So that's pre production on set.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: The guidelines laid out by sag After are as follows
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: quote reviews, nudity writers, scene content modesty garments and barriers
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: with performers, directors and assistant directors, ensures the proper implementation
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: of closed set protocols, and a sag After Guidelines serves
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: as a resource for directors and assistant directors as needed
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: with any specialized movement or choreography to ensure consent and
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: safety while enhancing believability and director vision. Ensures continued consent
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: throughout the filming of scene. Both consent to what their
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: likeness is seen performing and how the action is achieved,
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: while minimizing interference in production flow. Protects minors consistent with
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: sag After guidelines.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Yes, and then in post production ices make themselves available
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: for questions and to make sure that contractual obligations around
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: these scenes are met and yes. As mentioned, sag after
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: does offer multiple accreditation programs for ices. On top of that,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I looked through the registry list and almost everyone on
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: there is a woman.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: But the list is also very very short, right now,
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: very shorty.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: I'm sure.
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: I'm very sure from the words of someone in the
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: business and is really leading the way. Ada O'Brien described
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: an intimacy coordinator as quote a practitioner who brings a
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: professional structure and skill to creating intimate content, just like
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: a choreographer would bring their skill to a dance or
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: a stunt coordinator would bring their skill to creating a fight.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: And she went on to say, I say, your no
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: is a gift. We invite your no. It's really important
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: that we know your no, that we know your boundaries
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: so that your yes can be trusted. Any clear structure
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: gives freedom. Actually having a clear boundary allows you to
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: be free within that. I always say the work is
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: like an iceberg, where the body of the work is
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: actually in all of that preparation, all of those conversations
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: with the producer, director and the actors, all of that connecting,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: in all of that sharing of the process rehearsing, so
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: that everybody knows the choreography. It means that the data
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: set everyone's relaxed, comfortable, they feel autonomous, empowered, respected, and
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: then it means that everybody can bring their skill, the
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: directors bringing their skill, the actors bringing the best of
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: their skill to the intimate content. And O'Brien, you can
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: find a lot of really great interviews with her and
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: her work. She worked on I Will Destroy You, among
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: many other critically acclaimed projects, and when that show won
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Best Series at the BAFTA's actor and director of the series,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Mikaela Cole, paid tribute to O'Brien's work on the show.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: And I do think I want to include this summary
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: from Esquire about the show because I think it'll show
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: why it's very.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Important that they had an intimacy coordinator on it. So quote.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: The show centers on Arabella, a gregarious young writer in
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: London who must question her reality and rebuild her life
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: after she is drugged and sexually assaulted. Inspired by Cole's
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: own experience by suffering a sexual assault after her drink
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: was spiked, I May Destroy You threats a bread taking
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: needle and depicting the messy, non binary nature of consent
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: as well in showcasing sexual encounters not often seen on television.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: An assault involving two men, salt involving the removal of
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: a condom mid intercourse, and period sex, just to name
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: a few. O'Brien was instrumental in bringing these scenes to life,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: working closely with Cole and other performers to fully and
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: safely realize what existed on the page.
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: Right, and Yeah, got to remind you this was her
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: personal experience, so it's re traumatizing. I could not imagine
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: doing this performance and being like just just wing it.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, absolutely, just go with the float.
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: Okay, great, So O'Brien has said it is also important
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: to prioritize self care. It's important for me to bookend
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: the day of work by speaking with the actors about
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: what they need to do to let go of where
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: they've gone and come back to themselves. I don't want
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: them keeping a residue of where they've been. I also
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: check in with them a day or so later, just
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: to make sure that they're happy with the work and
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: that we can address any concerns they may have.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and some intimacy coordinators have really sung the praises
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: of the BDSM kink community. I have taken classes with
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: and that can we used to learn how this could work,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: especially in terms of consent and negotiation as we have
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: talked about, right, I.
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: Mean they are on point, like they are an example
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: to follow for sure.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: At least the ones we've talked to.
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: Yes, Yes, So intimacy coordinators have gotten a lot of
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: coverage with the popularity of Bridgerton, coordinated by Elizabeth Talbot,
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: and she widely discussed the intimacy writer that details what
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: an actor is willing to do in an intimate scene.
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: We've briefly discussed this with Sex and the City and yeah,
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: I think it's really interesting, Talbot said, quote with the
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: concept of consent that we work with.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: Of course, if there's.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: Anything where at any point anyone's like, oh, you know,
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: I don't want to do this, they never will. And
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: it's also my job to step in front of any
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: director or producer and be like, hey, you know, like
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: they're not comfortable with this. And I've been really lucky
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: to work with great directors and producers, so that's never happened.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: And I would think that especially if.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: Bringing one on would probably already go ahead and make
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: you realize they're more willing to listen and are aware
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: of keeping actors safe which is the point. Yeah, so Bridgeton,
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: actor Phoebe Dinniverse said she felt quote safe having an
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: intimacy coordinator on set. She says, it was so great
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: because it felt safe, because it felt safe and fun.
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: You choreograph it like a stunt or a dance, and
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: it's crazy to me that an intimacy coordinator hasn't been
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: there in the past. I've done sex scenes before that
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: I can't believe I did. It was only five or
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: six years ago, but it would not.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Be allowed now. And her saying that really bothersome because
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: she's a young and.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well we're going to talk about that a
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: bit more. But especially young people, I think this is
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: really really important who don't maybe don't know how to
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: say no.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: I don't want to do this to a director on
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: the big production.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: But it's also, like you said, a problem of not
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: everyone has intimacy coordinators, and it already is a step
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: to be taken.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: Did you see the SNL skit in which they have there.
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: I guess I don't know they're meaning to make fun
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: of the fact that there was an intimacy coordinator, but
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: it was quite interesting they have an intimacy coordinator on
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: set and then they replaced her with the two duos
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: being obviously not from their like not knowing what they're
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: doing and just so throwing out ridiculous things. But it's
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: very interesting that they immediately they picked up because Bridgeton
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: has been widely talked about because of the use of
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: intimacy coordinators for such a sexy, showy, speccy.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Show, yes, very spicy.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: Indeed, interestingly, Talbot got her start coordinating fight scenes and
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: started looking into intimacy coordination in twenty fifteen because she
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: realized that while there were plenty of rules around choreographing
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: fight scenes, there were no such rules that existed when
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: it came to intimate scenes. A man to Blumenthal, who
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: worked on Euphoria and is the founder of Intimacy Professionals Association,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: has said quote people often confuse my role with HR
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: That's not my job. I'm not here to tell you
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: what you can and can't say. And coordinator L. McAlpine
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: of Brave New World says quote, when we go on set,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: we're sometimes called the fun police. It's not about that,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: it's about educating people about this work.
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: It's really disturbing when you see the level of people
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: calling this just fun. And don't get me wrong if
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: it's a mutually agreed upon sex scene where it's supposed
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: to be. But thinking about how often you hear interviews
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: at the first time they meet someone they do a
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: sex scene, I don't Maybe it's just we're too traumatized
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: by our own past that this is alarming.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, fun police for whom, right exactly?
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: And I also think that quote about HR is I
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: want to include that because, and I'm going to talk
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: about this a little bit at the end, a lot
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: of you'd be surprised how many film sets don't have
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: HR right, so there's no way you can go report
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: it to. So it feels to me like when people
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: are confusing an intimacy coordinator for.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: H R, that says right right.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Also, you're trying to get out of getting HR. I
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: see the EP of Normal People. Executive producer Ed Guiney
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: was originally concerned about hiring an intimacy coordinator, but later
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: praised the experience, saying, quote, it takes a lot of
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: the awkwardness out of shooting these scenes and really frees
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: the actors up to properly be in the moment.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: And on top of this.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: There are programs that focus on people of color and
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: LGBTQ plus folks when it comes to intimacy coordinators, though
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: they seem to be currently quite small, like it's already
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: pretty small.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: Is this smaller?
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: But they're powerful and not to be dismissed nonetheless, And
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: I saw this, I thought this was interesting. Mia Shacter,
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: who's co founder of Century Co training program, recalls working
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: on the set of Insecure as an intimacy coordinator with
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: a white woman who is the director, and two black actors,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: and the director asked the man to run his hand
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: through the woman's hair, but Shractor and ravened after discussing
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: with the black colleague on the grounds that this was
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: not how black people typically showed care and intimacy and love.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: So that's pretty importantly it.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and this is related to another field that we're
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: not really talking about today, but you've probably heard of
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: sensitivity readers, which is also growing, and we have used
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: sensitivity readers around here before. But basically they go through
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: and make sure you're not missing something or saying something
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: in a way that is clear that you don't really
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: understand the issue that you're talking about. Big fan of
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: sensitivity readers.
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and honestly, the ICs are clearly needed Before intimacy coordinators,
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: these things were largely handled by the director, who may
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: or may not have the expertise or even the humanity
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: to direct them. Entertainment is an industry that has allowed
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: people like Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby prey on women
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: for years and James Franco for a long time with
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: zero consequences while making bank. As discussed in that episode
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: with Bridget about Evan rachel Wood, there are examples of
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: filmed examples of someone usually a woman, being taken advantage
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: of or pushed past their comfort zone, assaulted, and even
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: rate perhaps especially younger women breaking into the industry. And
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: you know, we're not even talking about the old school
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: industry with the literal casting couch, with everybody knowing what
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: that was and what that meant, especially for young women.
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: But then we've all not talked about the old directors
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: who I'm like, we can't watch any of them anymore
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: because they were all discusting and push those boundaries and
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: would do things in order to shock women and or
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: traumatize women to get a great scene quote unquote.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, And there are horror stories about certain directors
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: that you would go audition for them and they would
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: be like, you know, you're going to take off your
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: clothes and now you're going to do this, and now
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: you're going to do this, and that was just like understood.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: And that's for an audition that they would often film
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: and then he probably wouldn't get the role, but.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: They have that tape forever. H Yeah, I have. I'm
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: going to talk some more about that later.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: So Sean Bean is by far not the only person
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: to complain about intimacy coordinators. Director Adrian Lynz said it
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: implies a lack of trust, and that's all I have.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: If the actors don't trust me, I might as well
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: go home. I've got to make myself vulnerable for them,
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: for them to know I would spill my guts do
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: anything for them. Then with any luck, I get the
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: same back. He said of his film Fatal Attraction, that
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Glenn Close and Michael Douglas drank before more intimate scenes
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: and then lamented, you can't do that. Now, Why is
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: everything so serious? God, it's not like they're going to
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: get paralyzed or something.
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: Wow, it's all directs of Fatal Attraction. So that tells
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: me enough if we all know what their views on
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: women probably are in this movie in itself. But secondly,
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: that's not a good sign that they have to be
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: drunk to do their job.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think, as like a boss, I think
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: the excuse they took, I believe it was tequila shots.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: They drink tequila to do it and get comfortable.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Like, I don't think you should be just proud to
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: say that everywhere, right.
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: I don't know if they realize how close to someone
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: you have to get someone drunk to make them sleep
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: with you. And we all know what that is, and
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: that's frowned upon at this point in time. It should
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: be it is by us anyway.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: Mm hm oh gosh.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: And I also think like that whole it implies a
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: lack of trust. I don't think that's necessarily true. I
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: mean it might, especially for someone like you, But I
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: think it means that you're showing you want care for
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: the people that work with you, and that you understand
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: this is a vulnerable thing they're doing and you're taking
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: the steps to make it comfortable.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: Also, again, it should be the other way around.
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: You're supposed to be earning trust, not just provam likely
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: giving it because you're the boss or whatever, what right?
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: That is an absurd, narcissistic type of idea, and that
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: again says a lot to who he was and who
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: we thought he should be seen as.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: There's a lot to pick a part in that quote.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: But we'll move on as promised. We do have a
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: lot of quotes from people who after this the Sean
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: Bean quote came out, raised their hand. A lot of
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: actors spoke up in disagreement, and yeah, we want to
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: include some of the quotes from them. So from Rachel Ziegler,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: who filmed a sex scene at the age of eighteen
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: for West Side Story, she wrote, spontaneity and intimate scenes
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: can be in safe wake up.
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: Emma Thompson said in another conversation, you might find that
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: people go. It made me comfortable, It made me feel safe,
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: It made me feel as though I was able to
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: do this work. No, you can't just let it flow.
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: There's a camera there and a crew. It is not
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: on your own in a hotel room. You're surrounded by
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: a bunch of floats carrying things. And according to Thompson,
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: in most cases, filming intimate scenes is not a scene
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: is a not comfortable situation full stop. Which again I
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: feel like that's the constant rhetoric we hear when it
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: comes to people, because that's the first question, especially if
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: it's a.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: Sexy movie, Oh, how did you feel about this? How
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: did you get into these scenes?
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: And immediately everyone's like, it's not sexy, it's work, it's awkward,
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: it's cold.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: I didn't like it.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I hard agree.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Like there's nothing comfortable and spontaneous about a lot of filming,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: like most of filming as an actor, all of it
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: is like uncomfortable and strange.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: I don't see why. I mean, especially it should be
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: in my opinion, and.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Like intimacy, like intimate scenes, because like there are all
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: these things. You have to hit your mark, maybe there's
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: a greed screen, and you have to be uncomfortably close
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: to each other to appear natural, like that, the amount
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: of distance to have like a natural amount of space
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: between somebody you're like right up in their face. It's
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: not comfortable. You have to have your eye line in
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: a certain place. All of this you're supposed to do
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: as if there aren't eye lines and marks and all
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: of these things that you're trying to keep in your
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: head while you're also saying lines and trying to look natural.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: And I think like.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: A lot of practice and rehearsing that doesn't necessarily remove
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: the spontananity. I think though, what you're doing is you're
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: marking out in a way that feels safe and comfortable.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: You know what's going to happen. You can still have
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: little spontaneous moments within that as long as it's agreed
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: upon as right, Oh like a little giggle ers, I
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: don't know.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: Like there there are ways we rehears that everything.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Why is it like this one thing all that removes
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: the spontaneity?
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: It's what right?
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: Like people will get mad when a line is improved
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: at times and it ruins the scene as in like
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: it gets people cracking up and they talk about how
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: much money is wasted because of that, and so oftentimes
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: you will have directors who are absolutely livid. I know
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: there's there's directors who love it if you can go
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: with it, but there's you know, like the level of
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: what is being said and who's wasting money and what's
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: doing what?
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: Why is this which can harm a person? Not as
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: us respect.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: When you think of it as it does have to
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: be choreographed because you want to get their right camera angles,
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: like I don't get it, like, and it is a job.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: It is a job, and just like all jobs, we
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: should be protecting the workers. And many people have pointed
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: out Emma Thompson is Sean Bean's age and she is
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: recounting a very different experience.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Is right love before I too? We do.
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: Lena Hall, who filmed the sex scene in Snow Piercer
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: with Being, said that while he made her feel comfortable
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: and was a good scene partner, quote, if there's any
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: part of me that is feeling weird, it grows overexposed,
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: et cetera. I'll either challenge the necessity of a scene
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: or I want an ic. I do feel that intimacy
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: coordinators are a welcome addition to the set and think
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: they could also help with the trauma experience in other scenes.
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: Sometimes you need them, sometimes you don't. But every single
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: person in scene and experience is different, which I think
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: is huge.
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: So the scene in.
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: Question was cut and is kind of at the heart
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: of this being said of Hall, I suppose it depends
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: on the actress. This one had a musical cabaret background,
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: so she was up for anything.
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: Wow, Wow, condescending and and yeah dismissive.
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: Hall responded, Just because I am in theater, not cabaret,
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: but I do perform them every once in a while,
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: does not mean that I am up for anything. I
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: don't even understand what that means. Was that like she
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: got her big break of the movies, so she was
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: up for anything.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: Honestly, I could be wrong, but I feel like it
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: was some slut shaving.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, is there like, is there.
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: An idea that theater people are are slutty I or cabaret.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: People are cabaret.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know for sure, but that's just the vibe
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: I got from that statement, or.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: So he said.
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: It took out the spontanity. His partners are like, no, no, no, no,
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: I really wish we had them. I don't understand what
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: you're doing. So it's very gendered but also toxic. Masculinity
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: is a part of this when we have a conversation
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: about the fact that people who are so upset again
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: are most likely going to be domineering male types who
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: really think they look good having sex because in reality
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: sexless goofy as hell.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: I agree, honestly, Like, sometimes I get that it turned
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: some people on, but for me, I'm usually like, oh no,
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: not this.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Single, please, it's a mess. It is.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Jamila Jamil tweeted it should only be technical. It's like
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: a stunt our. Job as actors is to make it
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: not look technical. Nobody wants an impromptu group. I love
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: that quote because I think that's I don't know if
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: I said it as succinctly as she did, but like
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: it's a yeah, you should coordinate it, and then the actor,
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: if they're a good actor, can make it look like
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: it's not coordinating. It's not technical, right, that's the job
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: of the actor. But you still want to have that
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: in place, right, How.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: Are you going to do your job well?
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: If out like you're a half concerned about what they're
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: going to do and where they're in touch without permission, that.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: You're going to be so in your head about it,
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: and I see that you're probably already to be in
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: your head about right. Amanda Seyfried said she wished she'd
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: had an intimacy coordinator on set as a younger actor.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: End quote, being nineteen walking around without my underwear on? Like,
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: are you kidding me? How did I let that happen?
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: Oh? I know why I was.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Nineteen, and I didn't want to upset anybody, and I
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: wanted to keep my job.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: That's why. Yep.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: And then not a person or a woman, but the Broadcasting, Entertainment,
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Communications and Theater Union issued this statement. Disappointing to hear
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: these comments from such a screen favorite and established actor
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: without acknowledging his position of privilege and the vulnerabilities and
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: challenges many in the industry, particularly young and less experienced actors,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: may face as they engage in shooting intimate scenes. And
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: this is like, as we record this ongoing, people are
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: coming out of the woodwork to say, actually, yes, I
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: really would have wish we.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Had had an intimacy coordinator.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: So I saw just this morning, I think some of
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: the cast of Boy Meets World said that they had
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: wished they had had intimacy coordinators on set for Boy
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Meets World.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: You know, I do.
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: I do think about stuff like that with young kids
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: having their first kiss on screen and how awkward that was.
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: I will say, I just watched recently the Wes Anderson
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: and the Older movie with kids half naked touching on
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: each other, and there were young kids and I'm sitting
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: here really horrified, like everything about this, And I'm like,
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: I really hope they had supervision because this in itself
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: is uncomfortable, awkward, and I hope those kids are okay.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: It's gonna sound strang, but that's actually a great point
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: in terms of the audience, Like you would have enjoyed
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: it better if you had known.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: I think I would.
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: I should have read like I was so I wanted
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: to fast forward it fast.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: I mean not to say like some things just make
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: you uncomfortable, but I think a lot of times for me,
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: I would enjoy something better if I knew, Okay, they've
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: took these safety precautions, the people on set were taken
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: care of, like for me as a.
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: Viewer, right, well, I mean, and it should be where
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: it's a professional, like person who's a liison in between
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: those people, because you don't always have this good relationship.
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: And I feel like Lena Hall was being nice, especially
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: after reading Sean Bean's comment, wondering did he really was
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: he really a good partner or was she just saying
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: that so not to piss off a legendary film actor
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: or whatever whatnot? Because you know, we know in Game
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: of Thrones, Amelia Clark talked about how she would not
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: have been able to get through those scenes had she
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: not had such a great actor who protected.
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: Her literally being like, are you okay with this? Like
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: had to do some coordinating on their.
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: Own in order for protection. But it was him m hm, going,
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: you know, making the initiative. And I don't know if
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: they were intimency coordinators, but it didn't sound like it
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: not from what Clark was saying that it was all
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: pretty much him protecting her from this and he's like,
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: if you're not comfortable, tell me, I'll fight them like
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: that level.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: And she talked about that the fact that it.
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: Took her after season one of being a big enough
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: name to be like, I don't want to do this anymore.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: And I think, as we've mentioned throughout that is a
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: big part of the problem is there's just this pervasive
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: messaging to especially young women entering trying to enter the business,
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: like there are thousands like you that want to be here.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: If you can't suck it up and do what we
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: tell you to do, we can get rid of you
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: and replace you.
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: And they will do this easily. Yeah.
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: And I think it's also just like the blase attitude
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: that some of these men have shown and we're saying
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: it's not a big deal, it's hilarious, it's funny, or
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: you know, it feels nice.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: Who doesn't want to make out with these young girls.
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: I'm sure that's some people's attitudes, but the fact of
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: the matters. There's a lot of trauma. There was a
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: scene and I think about this all the time. It
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: pisses me all off and also puts me at like, yeah,
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: Chris Pratt's the worst Chris.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: Sorry, that's just a personal opinion.
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: But in one of the outtakes he thought was hysterical
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: and shared was the fact that he got completely naked,
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: took off his Like the scene was that he was
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: supposed to be naked, but of course he had the
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: underwear or whatever. They yeah, but he took it off,
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: flashing Amy Poehler and Rashida Jones. And he came back
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: when he was telling this story about how they were
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: really upset about it, and like he tried to play
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: it off as a joke and they even put it
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: as a b clip blueber and he was like, they
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: were actually upset but thought it was hilarious to tell it.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, that is sexual assault. I'm sorry, that
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: is sexual assault in the harassment and honestly, as a
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: traumatized victim, that would have had me on the floor.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: Right right, I think that gosh, that is such a
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: figure conversation. But yeah, I do think because women just
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: statistically experience sexual assault and related things at such higher
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: rates that we have to think about that everywhere. But
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: like I feel like an art scenes, an artistic endeavors,
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: it's sort of thrown out the window, like, oh, but
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: this will be good art and it shouldn't be thrown
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: out the window. And I think men just don't think
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: about it because it's not something they have to worry
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: about every in it of all day. And yes, men
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: can be assaulted too, but I just it's statistically me
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: so for him to do that, like it probably never
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: occurred to him, right this Maybe they have a horrible
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: experience that this is gonna right off.
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: And being a part of the industry, they probably really have. Probably,
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: But the thing about the matter is like they're so
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: flippant that this even bypassed people on the set watching
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: him do it, not thinking anything about it and just
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: letting it go and saying this is a huge joke.
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: Him being told don't tell people this because this is
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: going to get you in trouble. But he told it
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: on a national TV because he just thought it was hilarious.
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: Has he ever apologized to it. No, And no one's
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: really kept them, all them accountablebout everybody treated it as
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: a And you know what, I get that, I get
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: that to a certain degree of like he really thought
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: this would be hilarious, which stop. Just if anybody wants
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: to know, that's not funny to me, So don't do
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: that to me.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: Thanks.
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: But all of that matter in this conversation is like
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: this is the level of what they think is acceptable.
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: They just part of the job and that this is
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: okay and realizing no, this is why it needs a breakdown.
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: And I'm sorry that the quote unquote fun police have
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: come through, but for a lot of us, this is
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: not fun exactly.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: And just because this is artistic, it's still a job.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: If you did that at any other job, I would
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: hope you would be fired. Unfortunately we have instances where
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: that's not been the case. But generally you should be fired.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: And if you have coordinated something out like that and
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: everyone's prepared, that's different than you just do it as
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: a joke.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: And this's the thing is like the converse, it's not
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: about stopping it, stopping sex scenes, stopping.
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: The spicy scenes. Don't get me wrong, they're like, oh, okay, cool.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: But at the same it doesn't also mean that there
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: doesn't need to be regulation. There's a reason there's a
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: rating system to begin with for the viewers. There should
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: be a system to set up to protect the actors.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: Yes, and I also think that we should come back
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: and talk about this. I know we've talked about it
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: a little bit more, but you know, depending on who's
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: writing it, who's directing it. I think, as some of
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: these actors have said, you know, there are certain scenes
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do, and a lot of it's
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: coming from a male gaze of treating a woman as
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: an object in a scene. So it's okay to traumatize
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: her or depict a sexual assault. Maybe it's not necessary,
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: And maybe intimacy coordinators can be the person who's like, well,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: why are we what are we trying to communicate here?
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: Because if it can be cut, the actor's not comfortable,
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: Like that's also a part of this. And then and
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: I did want to run through some really quick personal
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: experiences I've had because I have worked in some acting before,
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: and I think like we've mentioned a lot of this throughout,
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: and I bet a lot of professions can connect this.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: But I've certainly been pressured into uncomfortable situations. There generally
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: has not been hr or if there have been, I
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: have not been told where they are. Oh I don't
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: know who to contact. I don't think ever have I
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: been on a set. And then a lot of times,
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: if you do an intimate scene, it's supposed to be
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: only necessary personnel are in there, and they're not supposed
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: to bring their cell phones. And I have been at
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: least one time where I saw cell phones and I
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: didn't know what to like.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: It's like I thought we said there was no cell phones.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: I couldn't have my cell phone. And then yeah, the
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: whole idea like oh, if you don't do it, thousands
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: behind you.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: And another thing people brought up.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: A lot that I thought was a great point is
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: that scripts can be really vague. They are so like
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: one example a lot of people gave is make passionate love, Like.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: Don't you want to choreograph that? What does that mean?
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: What does that mean?
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: You're to roll around and push each other and.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: Yay, right, like, and people can have different ideas of
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: what that means for one thing, and you don't want
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: it to like get a black eye or whatever whatever
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: you're accidentally throwing elbows, and.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: So that's another area where I just.
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I just had a moment of like make
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: passionate love elbow in the face.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: You know you're rolling about an elbow prowl Uh. Yes,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: well but yeah, I mean I think that's that's a
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: great point. How are you supposed to interpret that as
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: an actor? And then if you're lucky, if you work
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: on a big enough production, you get to work with
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: said actor before that and talk about it, discuss it.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: But that's not always true either. Sometimes you just walk
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: in and they're like go of.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: Like things like this is planned for next Thursday.
• 37:02
  Speaker 4: Oh no, we're doing it today because this is the
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: best time, or something's gone wrong with the other things.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, that has happened to me, not with an
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: intimate scene, but with an emotionally intense scene where they're like,
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: actually we're doing that today, right, all right, I have
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: five minutes to really get in the state.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: So yeah, that's something that happens.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: And then, as I mentioned, auditions themselves, which are essentially
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: job interviews, can get really gross and they'll just give
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: you no warning, tell you to come in and be like,
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: actually you need to see what you would look like
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: in a bikini, so can you take off your clothes,
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: and there's no like, there's no warning you. Again, you're
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: kind of like no, how much you have that mon
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: of like does that mean I won't get the job
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: if I don't do it? But I don't want to
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: do it, So that's all gross. And I've heard horror stories,
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: as I said, about big directors doing way worse than that,
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: which is related to the idea of the male, which
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: we've talked before, who gets away with everything in the
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: name of art, even if it means hurting women, sometimes
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: especially if it means hurting women. So I think that
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: is at play throughout all of this. And yeah, you
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: can get really wrapped up in the moment and not
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: know how to speak up and say you're uncomfortable, especially
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: if you don't have an advocate, especially if expontaneity is
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: involved and all of a sudden someone's kissing you or.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: Whatever and you don't know you don't want to break
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: the scene.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: You don't know what's happening, Like it's not good. We've
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: just heard so many, over and over again stories of
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: young actresses being taken advantage of by older men, and
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: these scenes can be.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: Just a rife space for that.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean enthusiastic, consent and sexy this idea
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: that a lot of it, a lot of it embodies
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: that men who don't like it, it seems to be like, wait, what,
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: I can't do anything I want?
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: The fashion romance is diod.
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: Well I mean, and also like I just remember the
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: Nicole Kidman movie Dogville. Had no idea what the promise
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: of the movie was. It was getting a lot of accolades,
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: and there was a woman. There was a moment when
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: in the movie there are rape scenes, but it's pretty
• 39:40
  Speaker 4: much like laid out like it's a play, so it's
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: just cut, just taped off.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: You're supposed to know what this is. But it was
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: absolutely a movie, a play within a movie.
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: And still in Scarsguard has a really intense rape scene
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: with Nicole Kidman. He talks about it and he couldn't
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: even speak it in English, like he was so distraught
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: from the scene he was so disturbed by it, like
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: as they were interviewing him about the scene, because I
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: had to go, I had to like detox for it,
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: and I need to know. They were okay, like that's
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: how far I had to go for it. Of course,
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: it's large vauntrier who is one of those that really
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: pushes quote unquote the envelope or whatever, and he was
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: disturbed by it. He was so perturbed by that he
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: literally could not explain what he was what.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: Had happened in English was I thought.
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: I was like, this is before I knew who he
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: was as the big actor that he was, and I
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: was like, oh my god, what's happening. He has a
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: really good English uh razor accident in the movie, but
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: then he's just like breaking down crying, Like this is
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: about the fact that in those scenes, I hope as
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: a human that these male actors who have to portray
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: this feel just as bad and discussing and gross about this, right.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, we've been talking a lot about women,
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: but anybody in is right. Those are emotionally intense and
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: traumatic scenes, right.
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: And of course we are going like a different route
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: with that conversation, like like oh, it's just not fun,
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: and it takes out a spontaneity. Again though we know
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: most of the times a lot of these movies take
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: unnecessary leaps into making it traumatic and a violation for
• 41:19
  Speaker 4: women for the characters, which sometimes is like this is
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: not necessary, I don't understand what this is and like
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: the fact that, yeah, it's traumatizing to everyone around. I
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: would hope there should be a conversation and a breakdown
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: of the scenes or you know, what's happening without truly
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: violating either one of the actors in these moments, and
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: theos asks to consist. Of course we're not really in
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: the movie. You know, that's not supposed to be the play,
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: but you should be able to do so behind the scenes,
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: to do it correctly and safely for both actors.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: Mm everyone involved.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, I would even hope, like they have
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: like a speech they give to the crew. And there
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: are there are some instances of underqualified ices that have
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: gotten through and have provided bad experiences, and that is
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: something that those in the in the small industry are
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: working to change.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: But overall it seems that they make everything.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: They make things better for everybody, and they make the
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: set more safe, and they make you know the enerchangmage better.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: Uh so, yeah, yeah.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: If you're interested, there are resources available online which I
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: definitely checked out.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: I was just kind of curious. I was like, what
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: am I going to have to do if I wanted
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: to do this?
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: They do say it takes like years, like they aren't
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: young Intimacy coordinators really like, you really have to put
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: in the time and work. But yes, you should go
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: check that out if you're at all interested. And yeah,
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: my TLDR for this one is intimacy scenes. Intimate scenes
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: are stunts, They're vulnerable stunts and this whole thing, it's
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: a job. So intimacy coordinators are important for ensuring everyone's safety, comfort.
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: And the best performances on an everyone.
• 43:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: Yes, So if you would like to contact us you can.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: Our email is Stephanie moms steffantiheartmia dot com. You can
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast or on
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: Instagram at steffan Never Told You.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: Thanks. It's always to our super producer Christie.
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Christina, and thanks to you.
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: For listening Stuff and Never Told You respection from iHeartRadio.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, you can check out the
• 43:29
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