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New Dirty Little Secret:Love My Kids But..Regret Motherhood! · Billy The Kidd In The Morning

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Get it off your chest to promise you'll feel better.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Dirty Little Secret.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: It makes one or two point nine a billy kid.
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  Speaker 2: Candice Lopez, producer pood Dirty Little Secret one of the
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: most emotional ones. I mean it's a very emotional dirty
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: little secret that we I just still get so many
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: calls for. By the way, shout out to doctor Chris Taylor. Yeah,
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: he's awesome. He's gonna be our new show therapist.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Perfect.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: He's like, I listen all the time. I want to
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  Speaker 2: help out if you guys ever need it. Yeah. He's like,
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  Speaker 2: I got more hair than doctor Phil. What sound qualified
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  Speaker 2: to me? So there you go. Shout out to doctor Taylor,
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  Speaker 2: Thank you so much. Okay, dirty Little Secret.
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: Okay, so I know this is going to sound crazy,
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  Speaker 3: so try to be easy on me and not judging me.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Okay, no judgment zone.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: I love my kids, I really do.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: But if I'm one hundred percent honest with you, I
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: regret having them. Oh my goodness. I even hate to
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: say it out loud.
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  Speaker 4: You what.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: Red having kids?
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Oh?
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  Speaker 2: You regret having your kids?
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: I regret having them. I know. It's like, yeah, I
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: know it sounds like a terrible person. But it's the truth.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: I did not expect. I expected five thousand other things
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: before I expected that. What do you mean by that?
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  Speaker 3: I regret having them? Like I have two toddlers too.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: In my life feels like it belongs to everyone except me.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: I'm constantly overwhelmed.
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: There's no quiet, there's no space, no version of myself
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: left that I recognize, and I sit there sometimes thinking
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: that this isn't the life that I wanted.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: My husband and I got married. He wanted more kids,
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: but it was a big deal for him, and I
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: love him so much that I convinced myself I could
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: grow into this role, that maybe I feel better later.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: And then we had another one, and now I'm here
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: look at my life and it just feels locked in,
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: like I can't do. I show up, I do everything
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: a good mom is supposed to do. But if I
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: me completely honest, if I could go back and do
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: it all over again, I probably would.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't have had any kids.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: I can't even express this to my family, my friend.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: It's definitely not my husband.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: They look at me so differently.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: They look at me like as if I'm broken.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Well, okay, I don't, Oh, I am far from a
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: counselor or a therapist. And my heart's breaking for you
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: because I don't take this and I don't know for
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: whatever reason, I don't really think it's about the kids.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: And I know that sounds weird that because that's what
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: you're saying. I feel like you can't just maybe you
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: understand where I'm coming from. I feel like this is
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: something else to do with something else that's going on,
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: and the kids are becoming that's the target that you
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: think it is, and you think that.
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: That's an easy out or to pinpoint, but I know
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  Speaker 5: it's hard.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: It's really it's new. There's no way to prepare yourself.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure you're not the only one. As
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: awful as that sounds to say.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, could this just be a phase that you're
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: going through and not just something that's gonna last.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: It's just right because.
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: When you're in the trenches, especially you have two you said,
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: or multiple that's yeah.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: I just carry this every day and it is what
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: it is now, this is my life. I chose it,
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: even if it doesn't feel like I really had a
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  Speaker 3: choice at the time. I just needed to say it
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: somewhere out loud because I've been pretending I don't feel
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  Speaker 3: this way.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna ask you. Can I ask you something real,
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  Speaker 2: real serious. I want to ask you this though, because
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  Speaker 2: I feel like I have to ask this because I've
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  Speaker 2: watched so many shows. You don't feel like you're gonna
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: try to hurt them in any way or anything? No, No, okah.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I love my kids.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: I love them.
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  Speaker 1: I just want my life back.
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  Speaker 3: My life is my kids and my husband. But what
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: about me?
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, nobody thinks about me.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: It's always about them and their needs and take to them.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Have you talked to anybody about this like a professional,
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  Speaker 2: because I mean, I hear the pain in your voice.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: I don't want anybody to look at me any difference.
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  Speaker 3: It's like I'm just this broken person. I'm not this person.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: But it's not this person. I know. But it's not
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  Speaker 2: a weakness to get help.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: No, it's not.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: It's not. They're not going to look no want.
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  Speaker 1: To be better for you and your family.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: You're never gonna get better and feel unless you I
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: really feel like you need you need to talk to somebody.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, very quickly, before you know, this gets worse
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  Speaker 2: and you No, I am and I rarely say I'm right. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: but I know I'm right about this.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: You can't deal with this alone.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: You know, why don't you talk to something like we
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: hang up and if you want to, we could put
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: you on hold. I could try to help help you
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: find someone to help. Yeah, whatever the case is, Well,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: we can do something. I just yeah, I'm almost speechless
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: because I don't know what to say.
• 5:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's hard when you're touched out, overwhelmed, in the trenches, struggling.
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  Speaker 5: I mean every mom feels that way at some point,
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  Speaker 5: not to this level. But people can relate, you know,
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  Speaker 5: and I think there's a there's a way to get help.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Stay there and we'll we'll see what we can do
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: and maybe maybe we can find you know, someone that's
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: gonna help you right away, because I think that's important. Okay,
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: don't hang up. The good news is we have so
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: many people that have reached out and want to help her,
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  Speaker 2: I mean just emails, DMS, calls, and thank you for
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  Speaker 2: that because she needs it. And and I can't speak obviously.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: You're a mom, Candice, you know the pressure.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's relentless, it really is.
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: We're all overwhelmed, especially with the state of the world.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Right now. I mean, it's you got to take care
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: of yourself.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: And I got a message from a guy who's like, well,
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: don't dog on dad's I'm not I'm a father.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I'm not not discounting how difficult it is to be
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: a dad.
• 6:20
  Speaker 5: And we need the best dads out there in the
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: world we can possibly.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Have right now.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I wasn't trying to say when I said
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: it was just two different roles. I meant that in
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: just it's so different you can't compare it.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Our body changes.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's just it's way different. I'm not saying the
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: role of a father is not important by any means. No,
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: it's just different. And right now it's about her anyway.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: So we're gonna get her a help, We're going to
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: figure it out. And thank you for coming through and
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: always being there.