Latest / Motherhood Alliance Podcast / Understanding Baby's Biologic Norms & Creating Support You Need w/ Serenity Mason | The Milk Grove
Transcript
- Britney: Hi, we are Brit and Drea from motherhoodalliance.com and we are excited to welcome you to a new three episode series with Serenity a nurse, international board certified lactation consultant, certified postpartum doula, certified postpartum transition coach, and the founder of the Milk Grove. With over 10 years of experience of supporting high risk pregnancies, caring for premature and medically complex infants in the NICU. Hey everybody, welcome back to the podcast. We are in episode number three with Serenity from the Milk Grove. Welcome back, Serenity. Serenity Mason: Thank you. Britney: We've had two great episodes so far. I love that we're able to do multiple episodes with the guests because we can talk about different, completely different topics. Honestly, our first episode was about NICU babies and when they are coming from the NICU to coming home, it can be really scary. And so I really appreciated sharing your expertise as a long time NICU nurse. So parents can feel more comfortable with that. And then in our second episode, we talked all about breastfeeding, common challenges people might expect, tips for those different ways to use breast milk to some really cool. and providing lactation support, Serenity's mission is to create a softer and more supported landing for new families. At the Milk Grove, she offers perinatal education classes that span from conception to postpartum, breastfeeding basics, in-home postpartum and lactation support, respite care, a NICU transition program, and even herbal tea blends and topical products things to talk about there. So in this episode though, we're going to be talking a little bit more about society these days, how things have changed, biologic norms, just all sorts of different things that I think will be a really encouraging conversation for people just to listen in to and participate in. So, but let's start with a definition. What is a biologic norm? Outside of supporting families, Serenity enjoys sunshine walks, gardening, herbalism, Curling Up With a Good Book and Spending Time Outside, all with her husband, two kids, dogs, and chickens. I'm excited for you to dive into this in our episode, Serenity. This conversation is going to be packed with insight and encouragement for anyone navigating pregnancy, postpartum, feeding journeys, NICU transitions, or anything else in this season of life. So we're excited to dive into today's conversation. Serenity Mason: A biological norm in an infant is I feel not supported in today's and today's culture. Infants normally ⁓ ⁓ want to be near mom and I feel like a lot of today's marketing is not necessarily supporting normal biology, infant regulation and recovery. It's more so trying to limit, minimize normal infant behavior. So it's it's normal for babies to cry. It's normal for babies to want to be held and soothed. If you think about how they've spent their entire first 910 months of life in utero constantly contained in this flexion position, hearing mom's heartbeat, smelling all of a sudden now being born and they have, they're no longer contained 24 seven. They're expected to just tolerate clothes that we put on them, tolerate all the lights and sounds and noises that they're exposed to now. It's a lot. It's a lot. They want to be helped. Britney: Why do you feel like things are different nowadays? Serenity Mason: Feel like with evolution, moms are expected to bounce back quicker, whether that be physically at work or socially, there's this pressure to get back to normal. I don't know why, but that all kind of... that hurts normal rhythm ⁓ a life ⁓ and postpartum period. Andrea Renkas: they're almost rushed, like they're rushing moms and they're rushing babies. Serenity Mason: Yes, absolutely. why? What's the need? Historically, it hasn't ever been like that. The newborn stage and the early postpartum stage is meant to be a period of calm and recovery, not up ⁓ and back to normal. Andrea Renkas: Mm. Britney: Do you feel like there are long-term repercussions for babies because of being thrown into a fast-paced world right away where they're almost kind of, in some ways, left to fend for themselves? And obviously they're cared for, but you're saying they're warm and cozy in the womb and then they're born and then they're expected to just sleep by themselves on their back in a bassinet. So are there long-term repercussions to this? ⁓ Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. Yeah. think, like you said, we're kind of forcing ⁓ kids, infants, our newborns to become more independent sooner than they need to be. ⁓ And I'm sure that probably results ⁓ or... ⁓ comes up later in life with difficulty regulating themselves. Britney: Mm-hmm. Well, and even just repercussions for mom, know, like to your point, why, why do we do this? We feel like... Andrea Renkas: does make sense. Britney: We have a baby, but then if somebody's coming over to visit, we feel like our house needs to be clean. And so we're, we're just rushing and have these like societal expectations and pressure and guilt that we put on ourselves. And then we have to put the baby down so we can get all these tasks done. The tasks, tasks, tasks that just never end. Right. And so I feel like that just immediately sets up burnout within motherhood. Serenity Mason: Yeah. Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Andrea Renkas: Well, it doesn't help either that, you know, Western society only allows, you know, six weeks of postpartum, you know, staying home, right. And so that is a rush in itself. In six weeks is barely enough time to really get a bonding experience establishment before now you're off to work ⁓ and, know, like full time again. And obviously, some people need to do that. And our society has changed. Serenity Mason: Right. Yes. Hmm. Mm-hmm. Andrea Renkas: in a way, but it just it's, too bad, you know, that we can't have more time with our babies or kind of ease back in there's, there's a lot of discussions everywhere about all this stuff, obviously. Serenity Mason: I think that's a hot topic on all levels, all aspects. Britney: So you're a postpartum doula. You're oftentimes working with families from pregnancy through a couple of months postpartum because you offer anywhere from breastfeeding basics prenatal class all the way through postpartum doula care. How are you supporting and encouraging moms especially to slow down? How do you help them this time frame and just be in the moment ⁓ ignore society? Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. think that's tough for ⁓ We have these high expectations of ourselves we need be the best mom, be the best spouse, be the best friend. We need to be the best ⁓ at all of the above and back quickly. a doula's is to help mom. Be that outside person to kind of take a step back, from a distance, and or point out where we may need to slow down, ⁓ how can slow down, et cetera. Britney: Yeah, and that's where just having that extra set of hands and extra mind and like you said to step back and like see the actual 10,000 foot view of what's truly important right now and what's not, you know, and, and to be that person if somebody if a mom is feeling anxiety about cleaning her bathroom, it's like, okay, well, I can, I can help with that, like, go take a nap. You know, what do you what are your thoughts on social media and how much that impacts us in this area in this discussion? Serenity Mason: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. There's a lot out there on social media. And I think a lot of it is well intended. I think most come from an area of good intentions. but nowadays how prevalent and easy it is, you're getting up. all this information, suggestions, recommendations, this is what worked for me, this is my experience, etc. all getting thrown at you. ⁓ there so many variables to take into consideration. Like I said, ⁓ think most of it is well intended, ⁓ maybe not necessarily appropriate, so to say. Britney: Yeah, well, and there can be pros like you're saying where maybe you're learning some new tools that you could use in parenting or somebody has an encouraging type post but at the same time there's so much like comparison and pressure that we get from it. So like how do you balance scrolling your Instagram for positivity and something that's gonna uplift you versus knowing that you're gonna come across things that internally you go ⁓ well I'm not that good that person just had a baby three weeks ago and now look at them and I'm not that and you know it's just it's so hard. I mean I for me I honestly had to just shut off the noise like just not Serenity Mason: Yes. Andrea Renkas: Mm-hmm. Serenity Mason: you Yeah. Britney: go on it for quite a while because I found more discouragement than encouragement. Serenity Mason: I actually never had social media until I started my business. And I think that helped me heal as a person, as a mother tremendously when I was going through the thick of it. I go on social media now and I see everything that's out there and the pressure that's put on moms. And I'm overwhelmed by it. And I'm well past that period. can't imagine how new moms must feel when you're already going through the hormonal shifts, the sleep deprivation, the identity transition, all of those social comparisons, and all the information being thrown at you. Which is where I think a doula really can come into play and can be really helpful with navigating norms, those biologic norms ⁓ expectations. Britney: So share a little bit more about that. What would that look like in a home? Serenity Mason: So infants, it's normal ⁓ them to wake They sleep a lot, but they wake frequently. think society, media, our culture in general, kind ⁓ of, they categorize as not normal and maybe a problem that needs to be fixed. It's normal for a baby to sleep all day, but wake frequently. It's normal for a baby to cluster feed. It's normal for a baby to just seek that contact. It's normal for a baby to cry, but there are cries for different reasons. It's not, as some people may think, like a manipulation tactic for baby to get their way or be picked up. so to say. So a doula and somebody who has special training in or understanding the biologic norms ⁓ the normal shift rhythms ⁓ the postpartum period of the newborn period to help kind of point out what's normal, maybe what's not what maybe needs to be looked into. Andrea Renkas: Yeah, given that perspective and helping them understand what is normal and what's not. That would be amazing. know, like I'm just thinking back, like just having that support in-house would be just fabulous. Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. Britney: Yeah, and then another thing that I feel like is a challenge in today's society is the marketing side of all the baby things, especially for someone who is pregnant with their first or is trying to conceive. Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. Britney: starting a baby list, like there's so many gadgets and things to choose from. And of course with marketing, all of them say you this is a need, you have to have this. But if we're talking about like biologic norms and kind of almost like going back to the basics, what do we actually need? So you're obviously in this industry, you're helping NICU parents all the time kind of navigate things that they're going to actually need to support their baby and things that they aren't. Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. Britney: Do you have any tips for like how to navigate this marketing side and or just like creating a registry of things that you're actually going to need a news versus things that are just marketing hype and you actually don't need? Serenity Mason: I see this every day and it, it hurts my heart. breaks my heart. praise on ⁓ parents. We all just want what's best for our babies and what's best for ourselves and healing during this period. ⁓ marketing does such a good job of praying on that vulnerability. Like you said, go back to the basics. All need is All you need is yourself, mom and baby. We don't need all these fancy, these fancy gadgets that are going to support the normal rhythm, not support ⁓ ⁓ I'm not one to tell my parents, need to go out and buy this product and this product, and this is going to make your life easier. ⁓ You this, you need this, you need this. Go down to the basics. It's you and your baby. are some products that are really nice to have, some products that it's all about convenience, really marketing is. I do have a list and an Amazon storefront and a checklist of helpful, realistic products. ⁓ You know, all, of course, we need a car seat, a stroller and such, but other little things ⁓ that can nice, but not. very costly, if that makes sense. Andrea Renkas: Thank Britney: would you recommend somebody sets up a registry? Because I also know that there are some registries now, or just people are thinking outside the box when it comes to, okay, I want to give to this parent, but I want it to be something that they're actually gonna need. For example, somebody could gift your type of services to a mom, because then she's able to she's able to navigate a lot more of this, right? And you can like help with, okay, start with less on the physical ⁓ things registry, maybe little bit more on the services to help her feel like a human and be able to navigate this transition type registry. ⁓ Because then as baby is getting older, she'll kind of figure out what things she needs. So I think that's something that we could really help change in this society. Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Andrea Renkas: think that's super solid advice. Serenity Mason: Yeah, absolutely. I do have gift cards ⁓ that friends can purchase. There are websites, registry websites babylists.com where you can actually put in doula services, whether it be like birth doula support, postpartum doula support. I think maybe lactation support as well, but I know there are also options to put in there your own comments like a meal train would be helpful or maybe you can hire a cleaning service for me. We don't necessarily need all these tangible products. We need more support. Britney: Absolutely, and I think that's kind of where we want to finish this episode in is like, identifying problems, right? And I think a lot of people can listen into this episode and just kind of Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. Britney: feel it with us and be part of the conversation and be like, yeah, I'm feeling that too. Okay, but what now what do we do? Like what are how can we spin this around to be like, okay, we've identified a problem. Now, here's some things that we can do, whether it's for ourselves, or supporting mothers going forward. Here are some things we can do to help change that. So what would be your thoughts on that? Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. provide support or ask what sort of support we need. Again, when it comes to like the baby registry list, we don't necessarily need all these products. Moms need more support and realistic support. Not, can come over and hold baby while you take ⁓ of the household chores. That's not what a mom really wants. A mom truly wants to just like hold up with her baby and set aside the outside world and just focus on that bonding and that opportunity to bond with their babies. Andrea Renkas: Mm-hmm. Britney: Yeah, I mean even just asking that question that you just said right there. What do you want me to do? I am here to help you in whatever capacity you want. It could be cleaning, it could be holding the baby if you need a shower, it could be taking your toddler out for an outing. Like what do you want? Because even at the same time she may have a different answer based on a different day. There may be days where she's like I just want to go in my bedroom with baby and just be and then maybe other days where she's like I need a break and I need to feel like Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. All Britney: myself and not necessarily mom I'm going to go for a walk by myself. ⁓ Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or even just if you know your friend's favorite coffee order, if you know her favorite snack, ⁓ or she made comment that maybe running low on diapers or something. You can go pick something up for her and drop it off. Ring the doorbell or leave her a text just so that she knows that she's being thought of and ⁓ doesn't feel like she has She doesn't feel like she has that, or she doesn't feel pressured to ⁓ or communicate with anybody because it's ⁓ lot to navigate that postpartum period. It's sometimes nice just to know that people are thinking of you ⁓ maybe dropping off your favorite snack or your favorite coffee order and then you don't have that pressure of answering the door in whatever ⁓ going on in that moment. Britney: Yeah, for sure. I feel like this conversation is really permission. It's giving permission. Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. Britney: for parents to just embrace those biological norms in their baby, not get upset that their babies are inconveniencing them, right? Which can be easier said than done sometimes. But when it comes to waking up and cluster feeding and all these things, when our to-do list feels huge, those things feel frustrating, but they are normal. And so how do we create the support that's been lost because of our busy society? How do we, it's just really permission to like, just be, just be present. Serenity Mason: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Britney: just slow down, your house doesn't have to be perfect, we can communicate more and ask for help, right? So I appreciate that you wanted to have this conversation as well. So we always like to end our series with a guest with a question more about you and so our question for you is what does the future of the milkgrove hold? Serenity Mason: Thank you. So I started in September of 2025. So five, six months ago, but I've been helping and supporting family and friends for four years now. And I truly it sounds so cliche, but I truly just, I just want to help. I want to help make your life easier. I want to help you understand those biological norms, understand, I just want to make it a smooth, easier transition for families. Yes. Britney: Yeah, so serving. That's your answer, serving. Yeah, I think what all everything you're offering is amazing. We are going to link to multiple things in the show notes of all three episodes. We'll link to your social media and your website and some other things as well where people can learn more about you. Do you offer like a free consult or anything or if someone just wants to learn more about your services they can do that? Serenity Mason: I do. Yeah, absolutely. I offer a free 15 minute consult, virtual meeting greet so that we can kind of, we can kind of chat together, see if we're a good fit and see if what need is something that I can truly help with. And if not, I've been networking and I have a basket full of other wonderful professionals, whether be other lactation consultants, doulas, everybody. So if I have that opportunity for that virtual meeting, great consultation to see if we're a good fit. ⁓ if not, we have resources. Britney: that transparency and I think so many people nowadays are just looking, they're just looking to simplify their lives, right? And so I think that you, not only through your services can you help them do that, but even just your mindset and just your heart and we can see that through these episodes. So thank you Serenity for joining us for all three of these episodes. We've really enjoyed it. Andrea Renkas: Perfect. Serenity Mason: Thank you so much.