Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Forget Your Ex! Younger Men Want Older Women!

Transcript

Forget Your Ex! Younger Men Want Older Women! · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Hey, I do part two. It's your celebrity mentor,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Kelly Ben-Simone. Today, I wanted to dive into a very
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: hot topic. I'm seeing it everywhere right now. Women are
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: dating younger men in their chapter two. I've done it myself,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: and I think it can be really liberating. So... There's
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: a lot of celebrity women in their chapter two that
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: are experiencing these positive vibes of dating younger men. I mean,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: here's the list. Like Kris Jenner, she's 70. Corey Gamble,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: her boyfriend's 45. Jessica Simpson, we just found out she's 46.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Her boyfriend, Thomas Eisenhower, is 33. Jessica Alba, she's 45.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Danny Ramirez is 34. Cher, 79. Alexander Edwards is 39.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Love that. Madonna is 68 and Akeem Morris is 30.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: So we have seen so many of these beautiful women
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: that are in this chapter two, loving life and having
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: the best time with these men. And they are seriously strong,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: iconic women and good examples. So let's dive into it.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: My first experience of dating a younger guy is 10
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: years younger than me and very smart and a go-getter.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: And I really, really loved being around him and I
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: loved his energy. This was right after my divorce. My
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: ex-husband was almost close to 30 years older than me.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: So it was just a nice foil to... what I
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: dealt with before. And I really like the energy and
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I just like the mindset. I'm a very curious human
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: and I am always looking to do things in a
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: different way and I'm very open to learning. I mean,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: some people are like, this is how I do it.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: This is my mindset. This is what I'm doing. And
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I'm not like that. I'm always asking people their advice.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: I'm always asking people their opinions. And I just want
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: to learn. And so that's just really important to me.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: And I met him through a mutual friend. And so
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I was like, okay, this is fine. I didn't meet
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: him at a bar. I met him through a friend.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: So that was fine. So it was just interesting because
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: at first I was a little nervous. I was like,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: oh my God, he's 10 years younger than me. Like,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: what are people going to think? And it's not like
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I was 37. So I
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: was just very nervous about what other people thought. And
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I honestly don't know why, not looking back at it. But,
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: you know, people, when they would see us together, we
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: didn't look, I mean, I always had two kids, but
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: we didn't look like there was an age difference. And
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: because I look younger than I am and he looked
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: a little bit older than he did. So it was,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: we actually kind of matched in energy and looks. It
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: was just funny how people that I knew, some were
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: like my, you know, some of my friends were just like,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: do you Kelly and have the best time. And other
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: people were like, I'm not going to hang out with you.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: You're going to date a younger guy. Who is this person?
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: And I was just like, I'm just having some fun
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: and you should celebrate your friends having a good time.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: And I think that that's something that's like women are
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: afraid of is that they're afraid that their friend group
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: are going to judge them for taking a gamble on
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: something that's totally different. And especially for me, my ex-husband
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: was a homebody. When we were home, he was at home.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: And when he was gone, he was gone. So I
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: was by myself. I was home. And so I just
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: wanted to... And men do it all the time. And
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to do something. I actually didn't want
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: to do anything. He literally just fell into my lap.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: The universe was like, here he is, have some fun.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: And I was like, okay. But there is such a
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: double standard. And I think it's a double standard because
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: when men and women get divorced... women process things maybe
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: a little bit more differently or maybe more hyper emotional
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: than men, you know, are considered, you know, now. I mean,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: obviously men have feelings and it's just the way that
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: they articulate them is different. And, you know, women, we
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: need our friend groups and we need our venting sessions
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: and we need to be able to talk through things.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: And men just really aren't like that so much. That's
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: a generalization, clearly, but that's my opinion. And I just
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people, the majority of my
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: friend group, were very, very judgmental. It's funny because I
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: was talking to Luann, was describing how when she met
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: me on The Golden Life on E!, which comes out
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: every Tuesday at 10 p.m., and she was like, well,
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: when I met Kelly, I met her in St. Barts.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: And I was so upset with my marriage, and she
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: was with this hot guy, And I was so jealous
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: of her. And I was like, okay, well, how to
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: be happy that I'm with someone that's fun because I
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: just spent the last 10 years of my life locked
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: up like Cinderella. So maybe it's okay to enjoy your
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: life and have a good time. And I didn't see
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: anything wrong with that. So when it came to dating
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: this younger guy, You know, it's like, I felt like
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Stella got her groove back. I felt really beautiful and
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I hadn't felt beautiful in a long time. And I
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: just looked at myself differently and I worked differently and
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: I accepted jobs that I wouldn't have. You know, like
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: I auditioned for a James Bond movie, because I was like,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I could do this. Why not? I probably wouldn't have
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: done that if I was, while I was married, I
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: would have been like, no, no, no, I can't do that.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: That's not for me. So I was just doing things
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: that were different as well. And it was just really,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: really good for my self-confidence and for my ego. And
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: it just, you know, I really suggest dating someone or
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: just what we were talking about before, kind of practicing dating,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: experimenting and dating all different kinds of ages because After
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I dated him, I dated a guy that was 15
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: years younger than me, and he was, like, an incredible human.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, he is someone, like, he was just an
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: incredible human. I was, he was 15 years younger than me,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: and I was 45. And... He was kind, considerate, well-educated, well-mannered,
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: beautiful to my kids, loving and nurturing to me. Very, very,
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: very sweet. And I had gone through, I met him
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: actually on Facebook. I was getting my MBA and I
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: had my computer open. I was getting my MBA online
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: at 45 and I had my computer open. And this
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: guy is like on Facebook. I'm not like really a big,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, I work in social media, but I'm not
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: like a social media person. I don't like use it
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: to communicate. And I was like, wait a minute, this
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: guy is like texting me over Facebook, messaging me. And
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: so he was like, I want to meet you. And
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm kind of studying right now. I'm a
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: little busy. And because I was cramming my MBA, trying
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: to cram it into a year and a half. And
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: He was just like, no, no, I want to meet you.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: So I met him at a bar in New York.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: And my best friend was literally sitting down on the
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: table next to us to kind of see if everything
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: was okay. And he was very, very handsome, very attractive,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: very well-educated, again, very well-mannered, just sweetest, sweetest guy. And
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: I adored him. I mean, I was like, this is
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: my guy. This is my person. Except for one thing.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: He wanted more kids. And I was 45. And I
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: was just like, how is this going to happen? How
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: am I going to take this to the next chapter?
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Am I going to have another baby at 45 years old?
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I literally was like psyching myself out and had this
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: narrative in my head about what it would be like
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: to have a child at 45 years old. And I
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: think that is one of the negatives of dating a
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: younger guy is that you want them to have a
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: beautiful life just like you did. I did I wanted
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: them to have everything and I want them to make
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: their mistakes and I want them to learn from them
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: and I wanted them to be in a position where
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: they could I didn't want them to resent me because
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: they were with me and they and you know a
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: part of their life was gone like I you know
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: resented my the first guy that I dated who was
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: younger because I wanted to have more kids and And
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: it was just, it could just, it never was able
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: to get to a point where it was something that
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I felt secure about. And so I resented him for that.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: The second guy, younger guy, I feel like I'm like
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: this wild woman. He was 15 years younger than me.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: And I reached out to him literally this year, just
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: because I've gone through a lot of health issues, physical,
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: I got brain concussion. And I was just like, you know,
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: let me just reach out and just say hello. Just
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: how are you? And I tried to like text him.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: And then I asked a friend about him and he
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: lives in Italy and he has a baby and he's
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: a rock star. And he's, you know, completely different life
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: than what he was. doing with me. So, isn't that
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: just so crazy? It was very sad. And then I
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: dated another guy that was 10 years younger than me
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: who I really, really liked and I felt like I
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: didn't date a lot of guys because I was like, oh,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: these guys are like, I felt comfortable in that 10-year
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: relationship to my junior vibe. I felt very, very comfortable.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: I didn't feel intimidated. I didn't see, I just felt,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I just felt that older guys, when I was going
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: on dates with older guys, I just felt that they weren't,
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: they just wanted to go out with someone that was
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: famous and someone that was pretty. I don't, I didn't
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: feel like they wanted to have any kind of like
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: true connectivity. And so when I would go out with
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: younger guys, they couldn't care less like what I was doing.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: They're like, okay, that's great for you. And the shows
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: that they weren't watching and they didn't even care. So
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: the third guy, I really, really liked him a lot.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: And we broke up because I had just filmed Scary
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Island on Bravo for Real Housewives. And I just said
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: to him, I really care about you so much. And
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have to break up with you because
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: I cannot subject you to to anything that happens online
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: that could be bad because people are going to be like,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: you're with that girl, the fall girl. She took the
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: heat for everything. And why did she do all that?
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, I did it for a reason because it's
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: my job, but I really felt badly for him. So
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: looking back, I texted him again too this year. And
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: I was like, hey, do you want to talk? And
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: he's like, no, I'm good. I'm great with my life.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: I don't want to talk. I was like, I get it.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: I wasn't really the nicest person to break up with.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: And I did hurt their feelings, but I didn't hurt
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: their feelings for the wrong reason. I broke up with them.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Each one of them, I broke up with them for
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: the right reasons. The first one, because it just wasn't
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: going anywhere. The second one, because I knew he deserved
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: a bigger life that I couldn't offer him. So yeah,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: so I broke up with those guys for all the
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: right reasons. I mean, I know that I hurt them
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: and I hurt myself too, but I also understand when
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: things are moving forward and going to be good for everyone.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: I understand that. And my last boyfriend was 50 years
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: old and younger boyfriend that was 50 years old. And
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: at this point, I'm just like, I know what's good
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: and I know what's not good. And I hope that
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: they're all super happy. And sorry if you're listening and
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: I hurt your feelings, but I'm sorry. But I did
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: it for the right reasons. So now let's talk about
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: the pros and cons of dating guys. So the pros.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: First of all, if a younger guy, I was doing
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: some research, and if a younger guy dates an older woman,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: he actually lives a longer life. So I thought that
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: was actually interesting. And I was like, wait a minute,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: what about the women? Do they live longer lives too?
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: But actually it's really, really good for younger men to
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: be with older women. It's really healthy for them. But
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I really liked what we do. We outlive men too.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: So it's part of that, but it is really, really
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: good for their longevity. And I think it's because they
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: can younger guys, when they're with an older woman, they
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: can just be themselves. And we're accepting of who they are.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: We know they're younger. We know they're in their velocity era.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: We know that they're trying different things. So I just
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: really have always been a possibility person with my male friendships,
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: my female friendships. Like I just have always been like,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: I see a possibility in someone and I try to
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: nurture that. I'm a fixer. And so I just really,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I'm also an avoidant fixer. That's a new term. So
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: maybe that's one reason that I like younger men too,
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: is because I don't feel like I'm, that I don't
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: have to do anything. I can just continue on my
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: life and there's no expectations. I haven't had been with
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: the guy that where I really thought there was going
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: to be expectations outside of the one guy that was
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: 15 years younger than me. I mean, I think with
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: a younger guy, obviously they can be attractive, but older
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: guys can be attractive as well. It's just a different
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: kind of look. I personally like the playfulness because I
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: work in a transaction business with a lot of very
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: aggressive men. So I like when men are playful with me.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: I don't like when they're aggressive because that's my work life.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: And I... I just like the spontaneity. I love that
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: they're just like, let's, you know, it's a beautiful day.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Let's go get a beer. Like, I just love it.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Or bring Tarzan. Let's go on a walk. I just
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: love that kind of, or, you know, let's just go
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: to that party that you have to go to and
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: then just walk around and just see where the night
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: takes us. Like, I just love that kind of vibe
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: versus being with like an older guy. They're just much
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: more like, The party's at seven. We're going to be
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: there until eight. I need to be in bed. I
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: need to work out in the morning. I'm going to
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: the club in the morning, working out or whatever they're doing.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: They're just more, for lack of a better word, just
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: more rigid in their mindset and how they're living their lives.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: And no harm, no foul. It's like they've been living
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: it this way. This is how it works. But a
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: younger guy is just more like, hey, let's try it
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: and see what happens. And I think that's really, I
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: think there's nothing wrong with older women dating younger men.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: And I want to hear about every single story about
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: all you guys dating younger men. I have some news
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: for you that I kind of changed my mindset about dating.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: And before I was like, I want to get married.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I want children. I wanted to have more children. I
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: always wanted to have more children. That's why originally why
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: I got divorced because I just like, I want more children.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: I want a family for my family. And that just
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: never worked out for me. Um, and now I was
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: just so adamant for so long about, I want a
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: family for my family. My children don't deserve this beautiful family,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: but they have a beautiful family. They have me, they
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: have my twin brother, they have my father help, you know,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: who's helping to nurture them. They have all of my
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: male friends in their lives who adore them. And they
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: just have such, they live in such a warm, loving
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: environment that, um, I don't really have that feeling anymore.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: And then after having two health issues this year, I
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: just really decided that I just want to live my
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: life and whoever wins, wins. I don't care how old
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: they are. I don't care what they do. I mean,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: obviously they have to have They have to have a
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: certain financial wherewithal because that's just not fair to me.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: But I definitely am open to just living my best
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: life and seeing what happens. So when it comes to
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: some of the negatives of dating a younger man, there's
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: a couple of things to think about. Number one, and
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: this happens on 90 Day Fiancé all the time, that
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: one of the partners is not financially stable. And so
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: if you're an older woman with a partner who's not
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: financially stable, it's very, very, very taxing on, you know,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: it would be very taxing on me because I would
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: constantly be trying to think of like how I could
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: help them, but then I wouldn't be focused on what
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I'm doing for myself. And at this point in my life,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I've already raised two beautiful children and I need to
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: be with a partner in crime and not with someone
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: that I am, raising or nurturing. And number two, and
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: this happened, this was what I used to think about
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: all the time. I'd be like, why would, I would literally,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: this is awful thing, but I'm going to tell you
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: is that I would walk down the street and I
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: would see a really pretty girl and I would be like,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: oh my God, I was like, that's something, that's someone
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: that my boyfriend at the time should be with. And
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: that's not cool. And it's awful to think like that.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: And sometimes they do leave you for younger girls. And
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, there's nothing wrong
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: with finding your person no matter what age, but that
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: is always in the back of your head. And I
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: know it's in the back of a lot of men's
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: heads as well. They're just like, well, she's just with
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: me right now, like an older guy or the young girl,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: she's just with me right now for my money or
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: she's just here for the fun and then they just
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: never move forward and then you put time, effort and
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: resources into somebody, this doesn't happen. So, if you're going
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: to date someone that's younger, you just have to be
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: open to it. You have to just be like, I'm
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: just going to date this person. I'm just going to
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: date these people. And I'm not going to put any
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: expectations on it. And I'm not going to put any
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: expectations on myself. I'm not going to look at my
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: skin and be like, oh my God, he's going to
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: see that my, you know, 58 year old skin looks
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: like this or whatever. Um, So my age range, I
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: was like, at first I was like, maybe I should,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: maybe I should jack it up to 70. So my
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: age range is 45 to 65, I think is a
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: really good, like I think those are, that's a good
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: range for me. Like not, not 40 is I think
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: is too young. for me um but I definitely like
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: 45 I could date and 65 I could date but
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: not I don't know if I could date older than
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: that I thought I could date 70 but I don't
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: know if I can I don't know I've never met
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: I haven't really met anyone that's 70 yet but I
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: am on the golden life so you never know what's
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: gonna happen Enough about me. I have a great friend
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: who's going to come on and he's going to talk
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: to us about actually dating and has married a younger guy.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Stay tuned. Jenny, Jenny, my favorite Midwestern girl.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: Kelly, Kelly.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I have a hot topic that I need to talk
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: to you about.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Tell me.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: It is about older women dating and or marrying younger men.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know anything about that, Kelly.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: That's what I wanted to ask you.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: My husband, well, we dated for like three months and
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: then we got married at six months.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Wait, I love that. Three months and then six months. Yeah.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: He's nine years my, what's that called?
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Junior.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: He's nine years my junior.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that. Have you ever been in a
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: relationship with a younger guy before him?
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: No. No.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: He was the first.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, because I was just around people my
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: own age my whole life.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: I always thought maybe I would date somebody older.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: But then, you know, you can't, when Cupid comes a-calling,
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: what are you going to do?
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: 100%. Did you know he was younger when you met him?
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: Yes, I did. I knew he was younger, and I
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: was literally just trying it out. I was kind of
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: at that stage in my life where I was going to,
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: practice dating because i'd never done it so he was
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: supposed to be just a practice date and then you
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: end up being your husband yeah well there was just
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: such he brought such a um an energy into the
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: room into the relationship and you know it and i
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: think there was something to the fact that i had
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: already done it once twice um and he had never
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: been married and So he was like eyes wide open
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: and like, this is so great and exciting and oh
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: my gosh. And so I wanted to get married to him,
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: not just for myself, but for him, for the fun
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: and levity that he brought into our home. And there's
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: good and there's bad when you're dating or marrying a
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: younger person.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: I love that you're talking about the levity and the fun,
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: because you've already done it. You have your beautiful children,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: you have your life, and you just wanted to enjoy
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: your life. And I think that's one of the things
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: that's so great about dating a younger guy. I'm kind
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: of shocked. It was like you dated for three months
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: and six months you got married. Do you think that
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: that's typical where younger guys are just like, okay, this
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: is what I want and I'm ready to go?
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: I guess so, but I don't know if that's like
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: naivete or just, you know, like they don't think things
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: through quite as much as an older guy would. More
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: like just like jumping in and let's see what happens.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: But I do think that, like I said, it comes
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: with its pros and its cons because you have to
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: make sure you're marrying someone that, and they hate hearing this,
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: but that you see potential in. So when you're marrying
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: someone that's younger, you can look at the man they're
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: going to be in 10 years, in 15, in 20 years.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: And you have to know that that person has the
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: capacity to grow and like to evolve. Because if they're
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: just still, you know, acting like a child and acting
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: like a frat boy, then you probably should not waste
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: your time. But if you can see that like nugget
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: of a good man in there.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Right. I love that nugget.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: There's a chance that you could grow together in this
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: beautiful way.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: So I was wondering, does being with a younger man,
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: obviously he matches your energy and that was something that
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: you really liked? He does.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: I don't think he can keep up with me.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: I was going to say that. I was like, I can't.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: No, he can't keep up with me. We were just
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: talking about last night, actually. And I was like, look,
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: this is who I am.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: I go.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: I think of things.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: I do things.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I act. He's kind of like an old man in
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: a younger man's body. Which it works and it doesn't
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: work because I'm a homebody. So I like staying home.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: And he does too. We like our routines. But I'm
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: much more like, I like spontaneity as well. So it's
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: hard to say who's bringing what to the relationship at
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: this point. But we always have a good time together.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I love the partner in crime kind of vibe where
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: you're just together and you're having a good time and
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: he does his work and you're doing your work.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: And you're so much more confident as you get older
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: that you are busy doing your thing and your work
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: and reaching your goals. And he's working to reach his
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: goals too. And to figure it all out.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: And sometimes the gap, the nine-year gap, really shows itself.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: And sometimes it doesn't. Like television shows or like how?
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: Well, just developmentally and like career. I think that's where
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: I see it sometimes. You know, he's much more like,
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: you only live once and I'd rather go golfing than,
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: you know, focus on work today.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And that's his choice. Like, okay, great. If that
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: works for you, great. But I have a little.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Bit more of like a got to work hard all
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: the time and keep going, keep pushing.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: I think that's our Midwestern vibe. Probably. We want to eat. Right, exactly.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: We have to do it well. We have to do
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: it well. So do you think that women should experiment
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: with younger men in their chapter too? Yeah, absolutely.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, if you don't do that now, you're going
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: to miss out on knowing anything about it.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: So yeah, try it out. But like I said, look
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: for a guy that has that nugget of what you
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: see as potential, what you know is going to be
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: a good man at the end of the day because
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: you don't want to put all your energy into, you
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: certainly don't want to raise this guy. You certainly don't
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: want to be his mommy. You have to make that
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: very clear from the beginning because the younger guy's tendency
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: is to be like, oh mommy figure it feels so
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: good to be you know around you taking care of
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: you i feel like safe there but yeah no that
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: doesn't work in the in the end um i don't
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: want to be anybody's mommy except my girls.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: No so exactly and you've already done that yeah oh.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: My god make sure that the guy you know he's
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: he's got his own path right he's not just hooking
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: his train onto yours.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: I love that. That's perfect advice, Jenny. Of course, always.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: You have such good advice. And I love seeing you.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: I saw you on a magazine. I was like, oh,
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: there's my friend.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: I hope I see you soon.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, ladies, go for it.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Don't hold back. All right. Bye.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: Bye, Jenny.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Jenny. I really appreciate how honest
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: and beautiful you are. Are you dating someone younger in
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: your chapter two? How's it going? Send us an email
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: the show notes. Follow us always on socials. I do
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: part two and I Heart Radio podcast. where falling in
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: love is always the main objective. And don't forget to
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: follow me every single Tuesday on E! on The Golden Life.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: I'm in my velocity era. Let's get golden!