Latest / Your Thoughts Your Reality / Who Sees the Veteran? | Identity — The 1st Silent War | Brittinie Wick

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Who Sees the Veteran? | Identity — The 1st Silent War | Brittinie Wick · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: What happens when the uniform comes off?
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_02: Part of you still needs that chapter to be seen.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: For a lot of veterans, transition isn't just about leaving the military.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's about figuring out what parts of service you carry forward, what parts you release, and how you build a new identity without pretending.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: And for that, there can be even another layer.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: What happens when people don't even recognize that you were the one who served?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: Today's conversation is about identity, the first silent war, and what it takes to move into the new chapter without becoming invisible inside of it.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Michael is a dual elite certified neuroencoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations, dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles, procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and more.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: Brittany Wick is an eight-year Air Force veteran and former intelligence analyst.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_02: She supported the RPA community and operations across the Middle East and Africa.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: Today, she's a doctor of physical therapy, fitness professional, and of course an advocate for women veterans.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: Brittany is the founder and host of the Women Serve Two podcast, which is absolutely fantastic.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Her work helps women veterans feel steamed, tell their stories, and build meaningful lives after service.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: Brittany, welcome to your thoughts, your reality.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: I'm super excited about that.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: We've been we've been talking off-screen for a while now.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm excited to get into this for our audience.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh tell us something about yourself, if you will.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, you said a lot already.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I joined the Air Force when I was 18.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: I decided when I was really, really young, I really wanted to be a politician for some reason.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: That clearly changed.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: But at the time, I wanted to be a politician.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I listened to my father like any young girl would.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, the path that you need to do is you need to do Intel and you need to go to law school and all this thing.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I had this dream that I was just gonna be an Intel and then go to law school and then become a politician, but that clearly didn't, that's not where it took me.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like life did not take me there.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I did eight years in the Air Force before getting out, and I think that was like the biggest transition was kind of figuring out what to do from there.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I always like predetermined to do law.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: At the time, we were stationed in Vegas, and the only school, and at the time, because these hybrid programs didn't really exist back then, back in 2016.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of those programs didn't exist back then.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: So you had to physically go in person to law school.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so my only option was UNLB.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I applied twice and I got denied twice.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, and I'm a firm believer that the universe, I'm a believer in God.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: So the universe got whatever your beliefs are.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, God put me on a different path.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's giving me a signal to do something else.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it was a very hard bullet to bite, especially leaving out of the military.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, okay, what did I really like to do?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, well, when I was a kid, I would like try to set up little businesses and try to like sell things to my family.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so I went to MBA.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: I got my MBA at UNLV, so University of Nevada, Las Vegas, Go Rebs.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I that's that's kind of where led me into the fitness realm and trying to own my own like fitness business, but I still wasn't satisfied.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: I noticed one thing that I realized was I, a lot of my clients, they would be like, oh, well, this is hurting or this is hurting.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I was looking up exercises to help essentially rehab them back.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, why am I not doing physical therapy?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm definitely not getting paid for it.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that led me into the journey of essentially physical therapy.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I finished my doctorate of physical therapy in December of last year, actually, at from South College.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you, thank you.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: I finally passed my boards and I'm finally a licensed physical therapist.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: But that's essentially kind of a lot about me.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also a mama for a military spouse.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I met my husband in the military, so he's still in.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: So that adds a whole different dynamic layer of trying to figure out who the hell I am because you're constantly moving, re-establishing yourself.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's, you know, I wandered a lot, but here I am.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, amen.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: But and that's it, right?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: Because you did find what served you in that sense.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: And if you didn't go through those things, you wouldn't be the amazing person you are in all the things you're doing now.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: So I I I love it.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, I just have to tell everybody the why the reason I was laughing and doing all the stuff is because I didn't know Brittany lived in Las Vegas.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: So I grew up there, that's where I met my amazing wife, all the stuff, right?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: So it's just it's just a cool coincidence, you know, of that.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: So that's why I was giggling and woo-hooing about the rebels and that's their basketball team, etc.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so basketball team's not that good.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: So Brittany, uh, your first picture of military life came from Cadet Kelly, right?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: So talk to first, and I'm gonna actually ask the question what is Cadet Kelly for those that don't know.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna age myself, but a lot of people know who Hillary Duff is.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, Lizzie McGuire back in my day, but it was a Disney movie that came out, I want to say it was in 2001 or at least 2002, because it made such a huge impact on me.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I I don't know, and I was trying to figure out why.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I looked up like the timeline and just go back a little bit further, like September 11th, 2001, since that's coming up next Friday, right?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I I remember that day so vividly, and I was in fifth grade, so I remember my parents were split.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: My grandpa on my dad's side, he picked us up to go to school.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember he would always listen to the radio as he was dropping us off.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember hearing about the first plane, and then I heard about the second plane.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And at first I was like, well, accidents like this happen all the time.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, thinking it, you know, I didn't put it into that it was like a terrorist attack.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I was like, why is this such a big deal?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like accidents happen all the time, car accidents, plane crashes.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then it, you know, two planes hit the World Trade Centers.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Then you had the Pittsburgh or not Pittsburgh, the Pennsylvania, and then you had the Pentagon.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, at the time, it was we were we were sent home from school.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: We were watching it on TV.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I just remember going into a corner.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, I'm like 10 at this time, and I'm praying like in a corner, like everything is okay.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it just like it made such a huge impact on me.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then six months later, Cadet Kelly comes out, and it's like these two like badass women, like just like military.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, and I don't know if it was just like a sign or something, but my uncle who was army, he called and he was trying to get a hold because we had landlines at the time for people who I know.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, for people who don't know, that's when you actually had to call a phone.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, like my uncle, who was army at the time, and he was retired army, but he called asking for my dad, and I was like, you know, Uncle Chris, like, I I think I'm gonna join the military.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to join the military.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Wait, what?
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Are you sure?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Yeah, like I think like this is part of my calling.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so he took me seriously, and then towards like, so I knew from an early age the military was part of my calling.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So then we went, so he was still army, and at the time we went on a family vacation, going from army base to air force base, and before I was truly looking into recruiting recruiters, he he told me he was like, Brittany, as your uncle, I don't think you should go army.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think you should go Air Force.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: I feel more comfortable with you going Air Force.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And because I had an army shirt, I was like, Whoo, I'm going to Army.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: And after he said that, it completely changed.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I went, I went Air Force.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: So even though Cadet Kelly was a Disney movie, the timing of it with 9-11 played such a huge impact on me.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, uh, people don't realize, and I'm gonna get into the neuron coding here.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, the the brain science to it.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: When you have a significant emotional event, it generally really impacts you for a long period of time, good or bad, whether it's uh something that was absolutely fantastic and impacts you in a good way, or something that, you know, it's in a sense a trauma or whatever the case may be, and it stays with us.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: And that's I I my assumption would be that's kind of what you went through, and that's why it connects so much with it.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: And the uh all the other things just stack in line, right?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, exactly.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: All right, well, thank you, Cadet Kelly.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yes so then you after Cadet, you know, your first military again picture of military life was Cadet Kelly.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: Then you entered intelligence work and experienced a reality that was far more complicated.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: At what point really did the identity you imagined for yourself collide with the person in the military service was actually shaping you into?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I would say the first day of boot camp really was a reality.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: I remember when I left MEPS, which is the military in processing or military entrance and process entrance processing station, MEPS.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's you know, I was wearing pink sweatpants and a white t-shirt, and I went with two three other guys, and they were like, You need to change your pants, you're gonna get like singled out real quick.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, What are you talking about?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like cadet Kelly, she like was all blinked up and pink, and I was like, What are you talking about?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so one of the guys actually switched, like gave me his bat like an extra pair of basketball shorts, so I wouldn't get called out right away.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's a prank, yeah, and I never saw him again, but so I have his shorts, but you know, like that night we got into San Antonio really late, and the moment you got off that bus, they were yelling at you, and I was like, What the hell did I just get myself into?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think that was like uh just immediately, like immediately, but going into like the Intel community, you know, the movies play a really good picture and like these bad asses, like you're you're providing intel right away.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: And what I was is I was a briefer, so I was the Intel analyst, I was a one and oh, so we were considered multi-source analysts, so we would take all of the intel, we would combine it, and then we would brief the crew.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: And with that being said, people would not take us seriously.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I remember, you know, even at Creech, which is in Nevada, I remember we were I briefed about a high-valued target, and you know, we were were targeting this guy for a while, and the person who was like the the man in charge for the shift, he was trying to act all macho to some DV, so dis Doug like D V.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Yeah, this is the guy da-da-da.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, actually, if you listen to my brief from I don't know, three hours ago, that's actually not the person that is in this building.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had to correct him.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it was just like kind of discouraging at the same time.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, it was there was a lot of missions that you know we were a part of, and I was like, you see on national TV, and that's where you're like what you thought you were getting into was like actually true.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you couldn't talk about it, but like seeing it on national TV, I was like, I knew, I knew that was me.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Hi.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: That's me.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so we're gonna end the podcast and we can talk because I want some more information.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: Oh joking, obviously.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, so would you would you say, and again, I'm I'm kind of just going with with my own questions of curiosity.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: Would you say that you know, part of that experience with that leader in that or you know, in that department kind of changed the way you look at things moving forward a little bit, or did you just kind of learn from that, take the gift of learning from it, and then move on for yourself?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm curious.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it was just like some people truly listen to what you had to brief.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And there was other people who like I had a one guy fall asleep and it, oh, it would piss me off so bad.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I wanted to call him out, but and I know it was so early in the morning, and I oh looking back at it, sometimes I do regret not calling him out.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things because we were in Vegas was I would constantly brief, especially during like New Year's Eve, about the visibility of possible a possible terrorist attack.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I would always say, like, okay, if you're gonna go out, like be vigilant here, here, here, and here.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember someone saying, like, yeah, because I listened to you, I just I was a little bit more vigilant when I was out.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: So it made me feel good.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: And especially, you know, with the Las Vegas shooting back in 2017.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Was it 2017?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 2017.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: I don't remember the yeah.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was yeah, I can't remember, but when the Las Vegas shooting happened, I I remember my first instinct was these MFers finally did it because I was briefing for so long that there was gonna be a potential terrorist attack, and I was like, they finally did it, and I think that's why part of the reason why I struggle with the Vegas shooting was because it wasn't a terrorist attack per se.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: We thought it was gonna be ISIS or Al-Qaeda, but it wasn't, and I was like, what?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was a little hard for me to kind of process, but I, you know, like when someone actually said that they listened to me and like the actual intel, you know, that you know, it was like, okay, I'm I'm actually doing something good.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then obviously people because when you're looking at the same compound for six months and you're it's like it gets boring, you feel like you heard the intel, there's no new intel because they haven't left, and so they kind of tune out of the briefings because they feel like it's you know, same shit, different day.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so I mean it's it was it was kind of a combination of both.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I think people with when they're especially in intelligence, and and correct me if I'm wrong because I'm not an intelligent, uh you know, when you're dealing with so many possibilities, sometimes you probably I don't want to say fall asleep on it a little bit, but it probably gets mundane, and then you know, you get surprised, right?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: Just like 9-11, right?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: There was information about it, you know, it failed, you know, from my you know, uh limited knowledge of it, to be to be honest, you know.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: So so let's let's talk about Las Vegas just for a minute.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: I want to go a little bit deeper because we're talking about identity here, right?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, really the shifts of identity.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, we talked about you know losing a friend in Frankfurt Airport shooting, and then receiving briefings tied to danger your husband faced.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: And and later, and then we talked about this a little bit earlier, and I just got chills just thinking about it, having a Las Vegas shooting bring old trauma back to the surface, you know.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, did those experiences change the way you saw yourself?
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: Or did they expose something you'd already been carrying?
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think?
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's a really good question.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: I think because early on, I lost Zach early on in my career.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: So, as you know, Intel, we were taking out terrorists like Al-Qaeda, ISIS, and to find out an Islam extremist went to the Frankfurt airport.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: He was a worker at the Frankfurt Airport, he specifically targeted um military.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, what happened was that was part of the transportation, the bus transportation from Rampstein to Frankfurt, which is about an hour away.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: So from the base up to the airport, it was about an hour.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: He would bring and Rampstein was the place where we forward deployed.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: So everyone, a lot of people would go through Rampstein to forward deployed to Afghanistan and the Middle East.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: So he went up there.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: This guy specifically targeted military.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because he saw a video of American service members torturing and raping and mistreating Islamic women.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so he specifically targeted the US service members.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: So he went on that bus, he said, Alla Bakar shot Zach in the face in the in the head, and he shot another person.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: So there were two that were killed.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: I believe his name was Alan as well.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a guy, and luckily the shooter's gun got jammed.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: So another guy ran and essentially tackled him.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: So he yes, completely like huge hero.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because I couldn't imagine like how much more would happen.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember when I was at work, because Zach and I, we lived so when you're when you're a young service member, so like E1, E2, E3, you're living in the dorms.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like college life on base, right?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: So Zach lived about four dorms away from me.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I saw him every day.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: We talked every day.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I just remember someone saying, Oh, that looks like the bus from Rammstein.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, There's no way it could be Zach's.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I brushed it off thinking, like, I didn't want to put two and two together.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, then I found out it was him.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it was so hard for me because I was like, the reason why I did Intel was so my friends and family were not gonna be killed by another terrorist attack, just like 9-11.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: So tying it all back to 9-11.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so now it hit close to home.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: Ramstein at the time was my home, and it it hit, and I was not in a good place mentally.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then after that, my husband deployed or my fiance at the time, husband now, he deployed to Afghanistan and he chose a mission.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, he didn't choose it, but he went on a mission with right, like he didn't do that.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: I love that one.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: But he was yeah, he was going from fob to fob, you know, with the army, and because he was an electrician at the time.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I just remember going into work one day, and I haven't heard from him for several days, and I knew what fob he was at, and we would get our daily briefings on like attacks, what's going on, you know, before we went, you know, a pre-mission brief.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: So we got our pre-mission brief, and it was like there were six Americans that died at this one small fob that my fiance husband was at at the time.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I I lost it.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I was like, I haven't heard from him.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: Is he is one of these people?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: We're technically not married, so they're not gonna contact me.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, true.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I I don't know what to do.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I I immediately I even just started the shift and I went to my supervisor.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I gotta go to the gym.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I gotta so much adrenaline was going through, like so many emotions.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I just like I just went to the gym and I just ran my heart out.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I probably ran so fast.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I probably would have had a hundred percent of my PT test.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's how fast I ran.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um but it those two events traumatized me, and because it was like, okay, now.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do I have to be hypervigilant?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do I have to like you can't talk about it because you have a top secret clearance and talking about anything mental health is it's taboo.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's you know, there's a stigma.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like you you have to either figure, figure it out or keep it deep down.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I know when he was gone, I was experiencing a lot of panic attacks because I was like, I can't talk to anyone, I don't know where he's at, I don't haven't talked to him in a few days, and I just knew so much of what was going on in the Middle East that it was it it changed a lot of how I processed things because I was so afraid of losing more people because of things that is literally my job.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: So do you think that that brought made you better at what uh you did?
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously you're dealing with it, right?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: And there's the emotional part of it all the stuff, right?
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: But do you think that those experiences made you better at what you were doing?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh like yes and no.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: I remember watching a Black Ock Down documentary on Netflix, and I remember listening to one of the guys, and I was like, this is what I was experiencing.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: So with Intel, it's you know, you're gonna see death, you are going to be a part of attacks, and despite what the the media says, we do not target if you know, like there's children and women, like they're like, Oh, well, seven kids died.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we that's not our rules of engagement, right?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I remember this guy on Blackhawk Down in the documentary, and he was like, Sometimes you have to separate yourself, it's them versus you, right?
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I know a lot of people that I served with, they had a very hard time with trying to separate the two, so they struggled, and I think because I had to deal with Zach's death so early on that I was like, no, it's either our American troops, it is my brothers and sisters versus them.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like they are the enemy, and they're the ones trying to attack us, they're the ones trying to poison us through our coffee.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it did make me better to separate it because I dealt with it so early on, and I had that personal experience.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, it it's I always look back and I of course do trainings and speaking and everything, and it and I always use my own life.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you go back and you look at the the things that we went through, and when you can find those gifts, it changes the trauma, right?
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: It redefines the trauma that you went through.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: And and it's it's hard to find them sometimes, but it again brings you to a different place.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, how many times do you look back 10 years and 10 years?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: And I can take it on in 10 years and 10 years and 10 years, speaking of dating ourselves, uh, and and go back and say, yeah, if I didn't go through that, I wouldn't have done that, and then I wouldn't have done this, and and so on.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: So I as as horrific as all of it was, at least something good came out of it.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yes?
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, love that.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I we're we're I can't believe we're we're almost at time.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: I I do have one more quick question that I just kind of want to go through because I think it's super important that I want to talk about the podcast.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have a couple extra minutes to go today?
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, as long as you do.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: Fantastic.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_02: We're going three hours, people.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: No, so intelligent work obviously requires you to know things you can't talk about and carry stress that people closest to you may literally never truly understand, right?
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: So, how does that kind of secrecy shape identity in your in your opinion, when part of your life has to remain well compartmentalized?
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: I would say it's hard.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Only because, you know, looking back at it, I probably should have given more grace as a mom, because as a mom now, I just remember my mother-in-law always asking, like, I know you know, how is he doing?
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like she would always try to, you know, ask.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I would have to be careful.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, as we talked about earlier, like my Facebook got hacked.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you have to be careful about communications, especially with like unclassified communications.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, like, you know, as a mom now, like I would completely, I understand what my mother-in-law went like, like would have felt if my son or daughter was, you know, deployed.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: But at the time, I didn't.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that was like one of my big struggles with like transitioning, like who I was, because I was like, I'm supposed to be this person who keeps secrets and not tell anybody, but then I'm not that passionate person, you know, as a mom, because I was like, again, this is 15 years later, me being a mom.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't imagine what my mother-in-law went through, especially so it did shape me, and just kind of looking back at it, I wish I was a little bit more maybe empathetic or like be able to comfort in a way that I didn't at the time.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that is probably something I do regret.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, at the time, so I think it was really hard for that identity piece because we were told, don't say anything, don't do this.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like you, you have a top secret clearance, like you have you hold the nation's secrets.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: But then you have someone who is your mother-in-law who is a very close person to you, and you can't tell them anything.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that was a very hard transition period for me of of trying to identify like who I was as a person.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I can imagine.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, the the thing with regret, right, is I I mean, and I'm sure you would even say this.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm not putting words in your mouth, so let me let me not say that.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, when when we have regret, you know, I mean, would you say that you're doing the best you could for who you were at the time?
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I guess.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: I was also really young too.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was 2021.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: What do we know?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, what do we know at that stage?
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like looking back at it 15 years ago, I'm like, wow, what did I know back then?
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I mean, I think it was like age played a part of it, and you know, just like the maturity level.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, when you when you enter different aspects or different seasons of your life, like I was young and naive and not understanding what it felt like to be a mother.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_02: It I have no clue yet.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I had no clue.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, you know, sometimes my husband always talks about like, oh, you know, when our kids go in the military, and I'm like, I don't even know if I want that.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because if they deploy like that stress and wondering if anything's gonna happen to them, and that makes me think about my mother-in-law during that deployment.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_02: So, so let's talk about the podcast, shall we?
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, of course.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_02: So, I love the podcast, I've listened to it, it's it's fantastic.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: So, women uh through women serve too, you've created space.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: Actually, what let's not ask the question.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: Will you just tell me kind of and our listeners a little bit more about the podcast itself?
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what's this about?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_02: What are you doing?
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: So the podcast is mainly to amplify the voices of military women and service members and veterans.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason was because me and my husband, we both met in the military, first term airman's class FTAC, which is the very first course that you go through when you go to your first duty station.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: So we've been together for a hot minute.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: But during that time, they would always thank my husband for his service, and it drove me crazy.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I would hand my own military ID, but they would thank him for his service, or they would be like, Oh, your husband serves.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, It says active duty on the damn ID.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: It is mine, and people like he would get upgraded on airplanes all the time, and I was like, God, why is it so hard for people to comprehend that women serve too?
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I felt like I was screaming, like, women serve too, women serve too.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it so flipping hard for people to comprehend that?
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: So hence the name Women Serve Too, because I found myself screaming about it.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it was, I didn't know what I wanted to do with it at first, but my friend, I'm at in the military at Ramstein, she was like, Brittany, you gotta do something with this.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like they're like, I'm tired of people thinking that like I'm a dependent of a military person.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, I don't know what that is yet.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it essentially evolved into this podcast.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: So every week I release because they are pre-recorded.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't do anything live like this.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: This it actually terrifies me.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um I know how we're doing it now.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get outside our comfort zone.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: So every week I release an episode and I give a I gave a podcast forum to these women and as all voluntary, so it's different topics the mother's leadership, transition, struggles that they went through, and they gave me questions that they want to talk about.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I left them is their platform, that's their episode that they want to express.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: So we have talked about military sexual trauma, we have talked about PTSD.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh believe it or not, because identity and transition is actually a huge one on my podcast.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: It is so hard.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's so hard because once that uniform comes off, you're you're like, okay, now what?
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you're almost your purpose feels like it's gone.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so we talk a lot about that.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about motherhood and transitioning into that.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like someone had to leave the military because they weren't supported in the military, they didn't have child care, so they had to get out.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: So we talk about all of all of the issues that we experienced, or even not just the issues.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about like the transition, like going from military to an entrepreneur or something like that.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I always start the episodes off with their military journey.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: So we talk about their military journey, and then we just talk about what essentially they talk about, they want to talk about.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: I I love it.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_02: And in the transition, identity and transition, if you can get that, you're you're you're in a different realm than most.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because that's my opinion.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not throwing shade on anybody, but that's where that's where there's the biggest gap, in my opinion.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_02: That's where my focus is as well.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_02: So I I love that.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_02: Would you say that you know listening to their experiences changed the way you understood your own service, or or even in refreshing just the parts of your own story differently?
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, honestly, I think it really helped with my PTSD.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I was diagnosed with PTSD after Zach because once the the Vegas shooting occurred, it all those emotions came up to the surface.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it was because, like, why didn't I go closer to the uh the attack and help people?
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I was right there.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why didn't I go there?
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: And or why didn't I do like I played all these things that I could have done differently?
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of and I struggled with it really bad after the Las Vegas shooting.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so it brought up a lot of the PTSD.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then so when I was talking to a lot of these women and we talk about PTSD or some of the struggles that we've all kind of went through, it it's it's almost comforting, like despite the horrific events, it's comforting to know that you're not alone.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's exactly what I was thinking in my exact words, yes, like you're not alone, and that's why I love this podcast because it's like if someone could listen to an episode and be like, wow, that's the shit I went through.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and at the end, I'm like, okay, I always ask the the women, like, how can people could connect with you?
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope of you know, maybe in the future or if it already has happened to build that connection because if you have that support, it is just it changes everything because you're not alone, and then you could go and talk to someone about some of the shit that you went through.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_02: Preaching to the choir, this is that's the best part right there.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: I love it, absolutely love it.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: And speaking of connecting with other people, for for everyone listening who wants to hear more women veterans' stories, support the mission or or connect with your work, what's the best way uh to find women serve to follow you or really just support what you're building?
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so if you know the podcast is on all major podcasting platforms.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you just search Women Serve 2 on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, like wherever you get your podcast, just women serve too.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: It should be the first one to pop up.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: My inst I have an Instagram that also says women serve too, but if you want to connect with me individually, I have a LinkedIn.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: You just put in Brittany Wick.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: So my name is spelt weird, so it is I-N I E.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: People tend to forget that second I, but yeah, it's very annoying.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: And like Wick, John Wick.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: So Brittany Wick, you should easily find me on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, all the good things.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_02: Fantastic.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: As we know, time is the most precious resource we have as human beings.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_02: We do not get it back.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_02: So, Brittany, thank you for spending this moment and time to help our mission and really make a difference.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's been a blast.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, if something in today's conversation resonated with you, don't just move on to the next thing.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_02: Sit with it for a minute.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_02: And what that means is if you gotta chill like I just did all of a sudden, there's a reason why.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_02: If you said, hmm, that's me, or I see that, or I feel scene, or any of those things, there's a reason why.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_02: So don't just move on to the next thing.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_02: Just sit with it a minute and reach out, take an action.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_02: Listen to Brittany's podcast.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_02: You know, just do something about it.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because just having information doesn't do anything, taking an action towards it does.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's what makes the difference.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: So if you know someone else, of course, that needs to hear this, share this episode with them.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_02: Please.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_02: It's so important to build that mission.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_02: You can also join us at your thoughtsyourreality.com where we continue these conversations around identity, you know, transition, resilience, and of course growth.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_02: And remember, your thoughts shape your reality.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: We're out of here.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of Your Thoughts, your reality podcast with your host, Michael Cole.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit EmpowerPerformance Strategies.com.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, your thoughts fix your reality, so make them count.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: Catch you on the next episode.