Latest / The You Project / #1567 Learning To Operate You - Harps & Tiff

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#1567 Learning To Operate You - Harps & Tiff · The You Project

0:01
Speaker 1: I got a team. It's Harps and Tiffany and Cook.
0:02
Speaker 1: It's a you project. It's six years in, it's a
0:06
Speaker 1: million episodes. It's aims past six on a Thursday night.
0:11
Speaker 1: I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be honest.
0:14
Speaker 1: We're prepared nothing. I'm also going to be honest. Tip's
0:17
Speaker 1: made to be cranky, just a bit cranky. Yesterday had
0:22
Speaker 1: a bottom lip out. She had a bottom lip why out.
0:25
Speaker 1: She threw a glow mesh in the shag pile, she
0:28
Speaker 1: spat the dummy. But you seem to have picked up
0:32
Speaker 1: a little bit today.
0:34
Speaker 2: Well it took all week, but yeah, I've come good today. Today,
0:38
Speaker 2: I've come good.
0:40
Speaker 1: You know, I don't even know who this is, but
0:42
Speaker 1: it came up on my timeline this morning. Some lady
0:46
Speaker 1: I think that follows me. And she's like, I don't
0:50
Speaker 1: know one of those. I mean, I mean this in
0:52
Speaker 1: the nicest way, you know, kind of kinesiology, kind of
0:59
Speaker 1: out there easternee spiritually slapfish together. But you know, sometimes
1:07
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a bit like, I'm not sure, but
1:09
Speaker 1: sometimes anyway, she was saying, and she was lovely. She
1:12
Speaker 1: was talking about how she'd had a bunch of her
1:15
Speaker 1: clients in this week or patience, whatever she calls them,
1:19
Speaker 1: and they were all like you were when I chatted
1:22
Speaker 1: to you yesterday, which was super flat, and she was
1:26
Speaker 1: talking about how it had to do with the moon
1:29
Speaker 1: and stuff. Remember we were talking the other day about
1:33
Speaker 1: the full moon, and I used to think it was bullshit.
1:37
Speaker 1: I used to think that, which is just shows that
1:40
Speaker 1: I was kind of ignorant because it's well known that
1:43
Speaker 1: it does have an impact on us and it and
1:46
Speaker 1: I think I told you this story the other day,
1:50
Speaker 1: but i'll tell it for the show. I might have
1:52
Speaker 1: told it once on this show, but I'm not sure.
1:53
Speaker 1: But anyway, years ago, I did a and I mean
1:55
Speaker 1: this with total respect, I did a corporate speaking gig
2:00
Speaker 1: for a school, like a special needs school, school with
2:05
Speaker 1: kids with primarily intellectual handicaps, learning disabilities and so on.
2:11
Speaker 1: Awesome kids, by the way, awesome school, awesome teachers. Anyway,
2:14
Speaker 1: I had to do a whole day with the teachers,
2:17
Speaker 1: and I got there early and the principle was showing
2:21
Speaker 1: me around the school. It was a non school day,
2:25
Speaker 1: so that's why I had the whole day with the teachers.
2:29
Speaker 1: But I was asking her about the school do you
2:33
Speaker 1: remember their story or.
2:34
Speaker 2: No, Yeah, yeah I do.
2:35
Speaker 1: Yeah. I was asking her, like, what's it like, and
2:38
Speaker 1: she's like, the kids are great, you know, like it's
2:41
Speaker 1: it's obviously it's a it's not a typical school, it's
2:44
Speaker 1: not typical environment, you know, so there's lots of adjustments
2:47
Speaker 1: and adaptations blah blah blah. And I said, and for
2:50
Speaker 1: the most part, are the kids great? And she goes, yeah, yeah,
2:54
Speaker 1: they're great, except like it's a you know, it's chaos
2:57
Speaker 1: around the full moon, of course. And I'm like what.
3:01
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I thought she was pulling my leg
3:04
Speaker 1: and I kind of inappropriately but unknowingly laughed. I went, oh, yeah,
3:10
Speaker 1: I can imagine that all be on the roof howling
3:12
Speaker 1: or something, you know, like I didn't know, and she's
3:16
Speaker 1: kind of looked at me, and I went really and
3:19
Speaker 1: she goes, oh, yes, Like the fucking dumbass. I'm like, wow,
3:24
Speaker 1: I thought you were. Oh, I'm like really, and she goes,
3:27
Speaker 1: oh yeah, one hundred percent. And I got what happens
3:30
Speaker 1: and she goes, ah, you know, everything, like not all
3:34
Speaker 1: of them, but a percentage of them around the full moon.
3:39
Speaker 1: You know, they're they're you know, they get a bit
3:41
Speaker 1: upset or their behavior changes. And she was I mean,
3:43
Speaker 1: she wasn't being on any level disparaging or in like,
3:47
Speaker 1: she was just saying, what happens. Oh yeah, no, no,
3:49
Speaker 1: we have we all have trouble, always have trouble. There's
3:52
Speaker 1: a few that you know, and I'm like, oh my god.
3:55
Speaker 1: And then not yes day, but the day before I
3:57
Speaker 1: think was a full moon. And then the last couple
3:59
Speaker 1: of days been a bit little.
4:01
Speaker 2: I don't know.
4:01
Speaker 1: I just tied it up. There's a link.
4:03
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe I'm a bit aware wolf. For me, I
4:06
Speaker 2: was out there howling. I don't know. That's why I'm not.
4:09
Speaker 2: I'm sleep isn't showing me very good data because I'm
4:12
Speaker 2: actually out on the roof howling. I just can't remember.
4:16
Speaker 1: But you know what's funny is when, like when you
4:20
Speaker 1: do a kind of an internal audit, like a checklist,
4:23
Speaker 1: You're like, and you and I spoke yesterday and I
4:26
Speaker 1: said to you, okay, and You're like, I just feel
4:28
Speaker 1: like shit, which is normal and human. I go, what's
4:31
Speaker 1: going on? You go, I don't know, And you go, oh, well,
4:34
Speaker 1: my dog loves me, my cat loves me, I'm healthy,
4:37
Speaker 1: My mum and dad are good and I'm making a
4:39
Speaker 1: few bucks and I kind of like my job and
4:42
Speaker 1: then and then you feel shit. And then a day
4:46
Speaker 1: or two later, nothing's changed and you don't feel shit.
4:50
Speaker 1: Then you kind of go, maybe it's bio chemical, right.
4:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And it's a real it is a real life.
4:57
Speaker 2: And like I always, you know, there's been times probably
5:01
Speaker 2: not that intense that was. That was a whole week,
5:03
Speaker 2: and that was really physical and emotional and mental and
5:06
Speaker 2: long and grueling for me. But there's been moments before
5:10
Speaker 2: where I've felt a bit burnt out and you're just
5:16
Speaker 2: on a level, you're a different person. So and I
5:18
Speaker 2: really appreciate having that perspective because when people when you're
5:21
Speaker 2: helping other people like yourself, we work in areas where
5:25
Speaker 2: we're helping and guiding other people, you have to understand
5:28
Speaker 2: that it's just fucking not that easy all the time.
5:32
Speaker 2: Like I was, I would turn up to train to
5:35
Speaker 2: do something because training always makes me feel better, and
5:38
Speaker 2: I would start and there was just this burning resentment
5:41
Speaker 2: in my body, going, if you push me, I will
5:44
Speaker 2: cry like I want to go home to bed, go
5:46
Speaker 2: home to bed now. And it's like I never feel
5:49
Speaker 2: like that, and I was like, oh okay, all right, yeah,
5:53
Speaker 2: we won't We'll take the gloves back off then we
5:55
Speaker 2: won't punch the bag.
5:57
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah. Well I saw you yesterday, gym, and
6:00
Speaker 1: you were like, don't look at me, don't look at me.
6:04
Speaker 1: Like what, don't look at me? I'll cry. I'm like,
6:09
Speaker 1: all right, well okay, sure, sure.
6:15
Speaker 2: That was the pinnacle.
6:16
Speaker 1: You know.
6:16
Speaker 2: I was on my way into I sat in the
6:17
Speaker 2: car for ten minutes before coming inside, and I thought,
6:20
Speaker 2: do I go in or do I leave? Like what's
6:22
Speaker 2: best for me? It's best to be around people, But
6:24
Speaker 2: I also feel like I want to be in that
6:26
Speaker 2: bubble where I don't want to make eye contact with people.
6:28
Speaker 2: I don't want people to see me. I don't want
6:30
Speaker 2: to give this energy to people. Yes, well you know,
6:33
Speaker 2: how do I manage that? And I also don't want
6:35
Speaker 2: to put it. I can't put on a front. I
6:38
Speaker 2: feel like this, yeah yeah, no, thanks for putting up
6:42
Speaker 2: with that and making me laugh a little bit and
6:45
Speaker 2: actually making me do train a little bit more than
6:47
Speaker 2: I would have if I had have not gone or.
6:50
Speaker 1: Well, pleasure. I mean, it's but that's the thing, isn't it.
6:53
Speaker 1: It's like sometimes you you have an awareness like I
6:58
Speaker 1: reckon that is really good example of being aware that
7:03
Speaker 1: your energy actually and it's not just woo woo, your
7:07
Speaker 1: energy can impact other people's energy, and you know, for
7:11
Speaker 1: good or bad, for good or bad. And like yesterday,
7:14
Speaker 1: when I saw you, I went, ah, there's some shit
7:17
Speaker 1: going on. And then I tried to open the door
7:20
Speaker 1: a little bit and you add your fucking foot, both feet, knees,
7:24
Speaker 1: fucking hamstrings, hips, shoulders against the door. I'm like, all right,
7:28
Speaker 1: jumbo pat, mister fucking PhD and self awareness, just leave
7:33
Speaker 1: that door alone and just get the fuck back a bit,
7:37
Speaker 1: you know. And so I just told you what to
7:42
Speaker 1: do in the gym and I didn't raise anything and
7:46
Speaker 1: we got through it, and I think there was even
7:48
Speaker 1: a couple of laughs. But it is, you know, it
7:50
Speaker 1: is funny, isn't it? Because I could see you on
7:53
Speaker 1: another day and you're, you know, maybe not feeling great,
7:57
Speaker 1: and I go, what's going on? And you just go
8:00
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah. Right, And then other times it's
8:02
Speaker 1: like don't fucking ask, don't look at me, don't look
8:04
Speaker 1: at me.
8:07
Speaker 2: But for me it was like today, like the whole
8:09
Speaker 2: cleep in the door closed that was because I didn't
8:12
Speaker 2: have an answer. What's wrong? Well, nothing's wrong. I just
8:15
Speaker 2: so I'm like, what's nothing to say? Wef it's good,
8:20
Speaker 2: nothing's happened. There's nothing to unpack except my energy is
8:23
Speaker 2: really rotten. Something's probably going on hormonally or you know,
8:27
Speaker 2: somehow burnout or something with my energy something. But I
8:31
Speaker 2: just didn't have anything to money constructively unpack.
8:35
Speaker 1: Can I ask you a question? Feel free to tell
8:37
Speaker 1: me to fuck off and we can edit this out.
8:39
Speaker 1: But you're forty one.
8:41
Speaker 2: I'm having an appointment tomorrow, all right?
8:44
Speaker 1: Do you like is that I'm not kind of going?
8:47
Speaker 1: So where are you at? You know I'm not there,
8:49
Speaker 1: but where are you at? No? But because I mean
8:54
Speaker 1: ask fucking alpha male buffets for the most part, although
8:57
Speaker 1: it's not totally true, because there is a thing called
9:00
Speaker 1: Andrew Pause, which is very real, by the way, and
9:04
Speaker 1: doesn't get nearly enough airtime. And no, it's not nearly
9:07
Speaker 1: as stressful or traumatic as menopause or perimenopause, of course, yeah,
9:13
Speaker 1: but it's real. But yeah, is that something that you
9:17
Speaker 1: have that you think about or you've had to think
9:20
Speaker 1: about because like you're you're because also you're very fucking lean, right,
9:26
Speaker 1: and like you are. There are very few women who
9:29
Speaker 1: are as lean as you. Yeah, and so does that
9:34
Speaker 1: am I allowed to ask? Is that fuck with your
9:36
Speaker 1: cycle and all of that?
9:38
Speaker 2: It doesn't. But for the very for a very very
9:40
Speaker 2: long time, I was on the contraceptive pill, So there's
9:43
Speaker 2: not like your cycle is your cycle because you're taking
9:46
Speaker 2: a pill each day to control it when it happens.
9:48
Speaker 2: And ever since it's been like I'm regular, So there's
9:55
Speaker 2: no signs like that. But this year, you know, last year,
9:57
Speaker 2: when I went into fight training and that was a
10:00
Speaker 2: hugely intense anxiety provoking, my emotional response to that was enormous,
10:05
Speaker 2: and I went, well, that's that's expected because the training
10:09
Speaker 2: and the intensity was high and hard, and the pressure
10:12
Speaker 2: that was put on was for that reason was hard.
10:14
Speaker 2: So I went, well, this all makes sense, and I
10:17
Speaker 2: think there's a bit of emotional and psychological stuff for
10:20
Speaker 2: me that's coming out through that environment because of the
10:22
Speaker 2: work I've done. But this year, when I wasn't in
10:28
Speaker 2: that same environment and I was training, I had a
10:31
Speaker 2: similar couple of similar emotional reactions where I'm for no reason,
10:36
Speaker 2: in the middle of training, I just wanted to cry
10:38
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I want to quit. And I went, okay,
10:41
Speaker 2: this is out of context. I think this might be hormonal.
10:46
Speaker 2: My recovery is tanked this year. I've been waking up
10:49
Speaker 2: at three am quite a bit. I never do that.
10:51
Speaker 2: I always struggle to get to sleep, but I never
10:54
Speaker 2: wake up. So I yeah, So I've just made an
10:57
Speaker 2: appointment this week to get all of the levels and
10:59
Speaker 2: the things tested. Do you know what else was interesting
11:02
Speaker 2: in terms of sorry, in terms of I've been listening
11:05
Speaker 2: to Raw by Doctor Stacy Seems one of her books,
11:09
Speaker 2: and she deals with female athletes, and just today I
11:13
Speaker 2: was listening to it on the way back from Q
11:16
Speaker 2: and she was talking about low energy availability and that's
11:19
Speaker 2: I can't remember the percentage of female athletes that actually
11:22
Speaker 2: run into low energy availability because we don't eat enough
11:26
Speaker 2: to fuel. So you can eat enough to fuel your workout,
11:28
Speaker 2: but not to fuel your organ functions. And she said look,
11:33
Speaker 2: and I just went geez. She said the thing. Some
11:37
Speaker 2: of the things that tell you you're in low energy availability
11:40
Speaker 2: are stress fractures. Now, I had to my first fight,
11:44
Speaker 2: I had stress fractured transverse process. I had a ferretin
11:49
Speaker 2: level of five two weeks out from that, and I
11:52
Speaker 2: had previous leader that recovered from a stress fracture in
11:56
Speaker 2: my hand. Not at one point did anyone in the
12:00
Speaker 2: medical industry go, hey, who's what are you doing with
12:03
Speaker 2: your nutrition? How are you recovering? No one's monitoring any
12:07
Speaker 2: level of periodization. It was just, oh, we jab a
12:10
Speaker 2: local anesthetic in your spine and see if that you know,
12:12
Speaker 2: like that was before we knew it was a stress fracture. Yeah,
12:15
Speaker 2: and I just went wow, since two thousand and four
12:18
Speaker 2: back then, because I then I wasn't really paid, I
12:22
Speaker 2: didn't know much about nutrition, or it probably wasn't. I
12:24
Speaker 2: wasn't eating as much as I thought I was back then,
12:27
Speaker 2: and probably I eat a lot more now. But yeah,
12:31
Speaker 2: I just wow, shit, you know that was well that.
12:35
Speaker 1: I mean, your body is the wisdom. And if people
12:37
Speaker 1: are saying, what the fuck's a transverse process, it's a
12:39
Speaker 1: bit of bone that sticks out the side of one
12:41
Speaker 1: of your vertebrae in your spine, So it's part of
12:44
Speaker 1: your spine. Definitely not something that you want to break, fracture,
12:47
Speaker 1: break or fracture. But yeah, you know, I wrote a
12:52
Speaker 1: post that I put up yesterday which is really relevant
12:55
Speaker 1: to this if you don't follow me on Instagram, come on,
12:58
Speaker 1: get on pragg Anthony Harper on ig and the whiteboard
13:03
Speaker 1: post or the whiteboard is when it comes to transforming
13:06
Speaker 1: your body. Something works for everybody, but everything doesn't work
13:10
Speaker 1: for everybody. And then I wrote find your something then
13:13
Speaker 1: underneath that and this is specific to you, well us. Really,
13:19
Speaker 1: despite what some self proclaimed experts, salespeople and pseudo scientists
13:25
Speaker 1: might tell or sell you, there's no single best exercise program, diet,
13:30
Speaker 1: health protocol or lifestyle because newsflash, we ain't the same.
13:35
Speaker 1: Which is why the drug that saves one person can
13:38
Speaker 1: literally kill another, so that would be penicillin. And why
13:42
Speaker 1: Dave's healthy snack is John's anaphylactic reaction. And then in
13:47
Speaker 1: another version, I wrote why Sally's favorite strength movement is
13:52
Speaker 1: Jane's bulging disc squats or dead lifts, right, And so
13:58
Speaker 1: like the bottom line, and we say this a lot,
14:00
Speaker 1: people still don't really understand the importance of While yes,
14:06
Speaker 1: we need advice and we need somebody to you know,
14:10
Speaker 1: you go see a personal trainer or an exercise physiologist or
14:14
Speaker 1: you know a tear or a Craig or someone like
14:15
Speaker 1: one of us, and sure you get a program written,
14:19
Speaker 1: but even me, who's written literally probably tens of thousands,
14:25
Speaker 1: it's still an educated guess. So I don't know exactly
14:29
Speaker 1: how your physiology, your biology, your joints, your ligaments, your tendons,
14:34
Speaker 1: your muscles, your digestive system, etc. I don't know how
14:39
Speaker 1: your nervous system. I don't know how it's going to
14:41
Speaker 1: respond because I've never had I've never worked with your body.
14:44
Speaker 1: So what we do is we go, well, let's start here,
14:47
Speaker 1: because this is based on lots of research and experience,
14:51
Speaker 1: there's probably a logical spot to start. But then more importantly,
14:55
Speaker 1: let's see what your body tells us, you know, which
14:59
Speaker 1: is why one person can have almonds and it's a
15:02
Speaker 1: healthy snack, and another person can die from an an
15:05
Speaker 1: plactic reaction. Or someone has penicillin and it, you know,
15:09
Speaker 1: it cures their gonorrhea. You're welcome. And someone else has
15:13
Speaker 1: penicillin and they die because they're fucking allergic to it.
15:17
Speaker 1: Or someone does deadlifts and over twelve months builds an
15:20
Speaker 1: incredible lower back and arson hammies, and someone else does deadlifts,
15:25
Speaker 1: you know, even with perfect form, and they're fucked. You
15:29
Speaker 1: know they're fucked because their body by mechanically you know,
15:34
Speaker 1: lever lanx blah blah blah everything. It's just not suited
15:37
Speaker 1: for that. And the truth is, despite how some people
15:39
Speaker 1: go everyone should do this, it's not true. Not everyone
15:43
Speaker 1: should deadlift, not everyone should squat. You know, the person
15:47
Speaker 1: with certain biomechanics and certain kind of spine and maybe
15:51
Speaker 1: anterior pelvic tilt, were's a lot more stress on the
15:53
Speaker 1: lumbard discs. And by the way, they're you know, fifty two.
15:58
Speaker 1: And by the way, now, all of a sudden, you
16:00
Speaker 1: putting this downward force of a barbell on their spine.
16:03
Speaker 1: Just because your trainer likes squats doesn't mean it's a
16:06
Speaker 1: fucking good idea, you know. So that listening to your
16:10
Speaker 1: body is super important.
16:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, but even there's even the trap of sure and
16:17
Speaker 2: our bias is our cognitive bias has come into this
16:23
Speaker 2: short term. So let's take intimate and fasting. Now. I
16:25
Speaker 2: had doctor Minniepel's on my show. That episode went absolutely nuts.
16:29
Speaker 2: I thought she was the best thing since slash Bread
16:30
Speaker 2: and still thinks she's amazing. I'd never heard anyone talk
16:33
Speaker 2: about female fasting the way she does. Go with your cycle,
16:37
Speaker 2: all the information, I was like this is great because
16:39
Speaker 2: I love fasting every time. Now I knuckle down on
16:43
Speaker 2: fasting a lot more when I train hard and I'm competing,
16:45
Speaker 2: and when I compete in boxing, within eight, nine, ten months,
16:50
Speaker 2: I'm completely burnt out and I go, I don't really
16:53
Speaker 2: deal well with that training. But I'm also amping up
16:55
Speaker 2: my fasting then and then I started listening to Stacy Simms.
16:59
Speaker 2: That's why I've been going deep on her. And she
17:01
Speaker 2: is so dead against female fasting and especially if you're
17:06
Speaker 2: a female athlete, and her research is amazing around it
17:09
Speaker 2: and also avoiding carbs. So she's like, no kedo for women,
17:13
Speaker 2: Like that's not like and all of the science is amazing,
17:16
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I feel like when I intermittent fast,
17:22
Speaker 2: I feel amazing. My body responds like that, my energy
17:25
Speaker 2: is magnificent. Ten months later, I'm in burnout.
17:29
Speaker 1: So what's her name? What's what's her first name?
17:32
Speaker 2: Mindy? Which was the fasting dtor Mindi Pels, the fasting expert?
17:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, one. Is she the one that says women shouldn't.
17:44
Speaker 2: Should she's pro fasting?
17:47
Speaker 1: Right? I can't a lot what so let me just
17:50
Speaker 1: read a little bit about Dr Mindi Pel is the
17:52
Speaker 1: best selling author, and i'd speak a nutrition and functional
17:54
Speaker 1: health expert, spent more than two decades helping thousands of
17:58
Speaker 1: people reclaim their health. Cool. Okay, And who's the other
18:01
Speaker 1: one who told you that's a no?
18:03
Speaker 2: Doctor Stacy Simms. Okay, here's one of the things that
18:08
Speaker 2: I found compelling when I was I happened to listen
18:11
Speaker 2: to some something from doctor Mindy sometime this year and
18:17
Speaker 2: it was a solo podcast and she was talking about
18:20
Speaker 2: her experience hearts of overcoming massive burnout. So here's a
18:25
Speaker 2: doctor of you know, this space of health, and she's
18:30
Speaker 2: she's had a huge year, she's launched book, she's done
18:32
Speaker 2: all the things. But she's also and I go, well,
18:34
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that she's deliberately, but given what she does,
18:39
Speaker 2: her bias will be so strong that she won't be
18:41
Speaker 2: able to let go of. Maybe maybe fasting isn't really
18:46
Speaker 2: all that great long term, Like what are the long
18:49
Speaker 2: term things going on? What's happening? My body might my
18:52
Speaker 2: body composition might absolutely love it, and my brain might
18:55
Speaker 2: love it. But if I do it every single day
18:57
Speaker 2: for a year, what then?
19:00
Speaker 1: And also I think the question is you know, fasting
19:05
Speaker 1: or paleo or carnivore or Mediterranean or Atkins pretticken fucking
19:13
Speaker 1: you know, high impact, low impact, long slow cardio, intermittent
19:17
Speaker 1: fucking interval training, fartleck fucking powerlifting. But you know it's
19:22
Speaker 1: like the question is for who? For what body? Right, Like,
19:28
Speaker 1: my dad's eighty five years old? Did you see that fight?
19:32
Speaker 1: Do I put up that video of him? God bless
19:35
Speaker 1: Ron's got like twelve thousand views. N's is going to
19:37
Speaker 1: be signing fucking autographs at the more Well Leisure Center soon.
19:40
Speaker 1: He's going to be beating those motherfuckers off. Get out
19:43
Speaker 1: of here. Fuck he's got Why do I show him
19:46
Speaker 1: the video next weekend? Oh, he's going to be so
19:48
Speaker 1: fucking proud he burst out of his burst out of
19:51
Speaker 1: his tracksuit with pride, his fucking target tracksuit. You'll burst
19:55
Speaker 1: right out of that motherfucker anyway. But the the thing is, like,
20:03
Speaker 1: I understand that one of the pro and I'm not
20:05
Speaker 1: talking about either of those researchers you spoke about, but
20:08
Speaker 1: in general terms, and I'd put me in this too. Right,
20:12
Speaker 1: when you are quite emphatic about, oh, this is the
20:15
Speaker 1: best way to do something, you always have to say
20:20
Speaker 1: for who or for whom? Perhaps, right. It's like, you know,
20:25
Speaker 1: there are certain things that work really well for me,
20:27
Speaker 1: like two meals a day. I actually think what works
20:30
Speaker 1: for me would not work for most definitely wouldn't work
20:33
Speaker 1: for you, right, I would say people would be surprised
20:37
Speaker 1: to go, all right, well, Craigs an eighty five six
20:40
Speaker 1: kilogram muscular male with not much fat, and tip is
20:46
Speaker 1: a sixty ish kilo muscular female with less fat, right,
20:51
Speaker 1: but twenty five kilos between eskive or take. But I
20:55
Speaker 1: would think for a range of reasons, you need more
20:58
Speaker 1: calories per day than me. Now, if you went to
21:02
Speaker 1: the hypeweight thing, the BMI thing, the fucking recommended cols
21:06
Speaker 1: per day, Micro's macros, it would not tell you that
21:11
Speaker 1: it would be but it would be wrong. Right now.
21:15
Speaker 1: That's the fucking website, or that's the theoretical science. But
21:20
Speaker 1: the real world reality is the sixty year old chick
21:24
Speaker 1: needs more calories that or sorry, the sixty kilogram chick.
21:29
Speaker 1: Sorry the sixty kilogram chick, but yes, she's okay with
21:33
Speaker 1: me calling her that, don't send me an email. Is
21:37
Speaker 1: needs more calories per day on average than the eighty
21:40
Speaker 1: five kilo bloke. Now that's not scientifically typical. But you know,
21:48
Speaker 1: this is why we need to take science not with
21:52
Speaker 1: a grain of salt, but as a starting point. It's
21:56
Speaker 1: a starting point, you know. And one of the things.
22:00
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying anything either way, but even if
22:03
Speaker 1: we want, if you want me to prove to you
22:06
Speaker 1: how hysterical and emotional people get about science, not logical,
22:12
Speaker 1: not rational, not intellectual, just say COVID vaccine and just
22:18
Speaker 1: fucking watch the pandemonium. Just stand back and watch crazy
22:23
Speaker 1: town on both sides and the finger pointing and the
22:26
Speaker 1: anger and the fucking bullshit, and it's like, arrest my case.
22:31
Speaker 1: It ain't about science all the time, and this from
22:33
Speaker 1: a fucking scientist. Science matters, but you still need to
22:38
Speaker 1: go Okay, So probably, and by the way, if you
22:41
Speaker 1: did TIFF's BMI and my BMI and then you look
22:46
Speaker 1: at a high weight chart for her and I, you
22:48
Speaker 1: would find, well, definitely I am overweight, heading towards obese,
22:52
Speaker 1: and probably TIFFs overweight based on her, which is ridiculous
22:56
Speaker 1: because her body composition is abnormally lean. So not only
23:01
Speaker 1: is she not fat, which the calculation might show she is,
23:08
Speaker 1: she's the opposite of fat. So once again, it's just
23:11
Speaker 1: a fucking guide, you know. And like also like another example,
23:17
Speaker 1: I mean, this episode is literally about learning how to
23:21
Speaker 1: operate your body. Like, there's not many people would say, Okay,
23:25
Speaker 1: the guy who trains every day, I'm now running every day,
23:27
Speaker 1: by the way, not far, just one or two k's
23:30
Speaker 1: and I'm lifting every day, and I use a lot
23:32
Speaker 1: of brain energy. By the way, twenty percent of your
23:35
Speaker 1: total energy expenditure, everyone, listen to this for a fucking stat.
23:39
Speaker 1: Twenty percent of your total energy expenditure is from your brain,
23:43
Speaker 1: give or tape. Now, again, that's science, but the truth
23:47
Speaker 1: is that cognition, thinking, problem solving, creativity is incredibly energy expensive.
23:55
Speaker 1: So my eighty five kilo body, twenty percent of my
24:01
Speaker 1: daily energy goes on that one point three kilo lump
24:05
Speaker 1: of thing that sits in my head. That's fucking amazing too, right, Yeah,
24:11
Speaker 1: But then on top of that, you go, wow, Craig,
24:13
Speaker 1: you should definitely try eat three times a day. What
24:16
Speaker 1: happens when I eat three times a day? Like, and
24:19
Speaker 1: I'm not talking big meals, I'm talking what you would
24:22
Speaker 1: call kind of regulation and in fact, less than most dudes.
24:26
Speaker 1: Even at three meals a day, I gain body fat,
24:29
Speaker 1: and my brain doesn't work optimally in the afternoon, Like
24:32
Speaker 1: my energy levels and my cognitive function are better when
24:37
Speaker 1: I do not eat through the day. Now is that
24:40
Speaker 1: a recommendation, No, that's biofeedback. That's my personal experience. And
24:46
Speaker 1: this is why it is incredibly important that people if
24:51
Speaker 1: you are going to see an exercise physiologist and nutritionist
24:54
Speaker 1: to fucking physiotherapist, a doctor and anything, trust them to
24:59
Speaker 1: a I'm not saying they're untrustworthy. I'm saying it's your body.
25:04
Speaker 1: Ask good questions, and if they fob you off, go
25:09
Speaker 1: get another doctor who doesn't or trainer or whatever. Because
25:14
Speaker 1: when someone says to me you need to do that,
25:16
Speaker 1: I'm like, cool, Why well, why tell me? Why tell
25:20
Speaker 1: me the mechanism, tell me the reason, and then if
25:24
Speaker 1: it makes sense to me, you know, like, ultimately, I
25:29
Speaker 1: need to take ownership for my body one and two
25:33
Speaker 1: what I do to my body, or maybe three what
25:36
Speaker 1: I allow others to do to my body, because at
25:40
Speaker 1: the end of the day, I've got to live in
25:41
Speaker 1: this fucking thing. And I personally have been given advice
25:45
Speaker 1: over the years that was wrong for me, and I
25:49
Speaker 1: did it because I trusted them more than myself, and
25:54
Speaker 1: I ended up getting sick or you know whatever, or
25:58
Speaker 1: injured or whatever the case may be. And by the way,
26:01
Speaker 1: none of those people were trying to do the wrong thing.
26:05
Speaker 1: But you know, even well intentioned people do not understand
26:08
Speaker 1: your body totally because they work with a range of bodies,
26:12
Speaker 1: you know.
26:13
Speaker 2: So it was like, well, you know, back in that
26:16
Speaker 2: at that first fight, when I had a ridiculous amount
26:19
Speaker 2: lower amount of iron in my body, he was like,
26:21
Speaker 2: I don't even know how you're training. You've got no iron.
26:25
Speaker 2: And when I went to get my blood so they
26:27
Speaker 2: were fight bloods, and he's like, you got no iron.
26:29
Speaker 2: I go, I didn't you test the iron? He goes, no,
26:31
Speaker 2: I tested the iron. You got no iron. I don't
26:33
Speaker 2: even know how you're training. And I was like wow,
26:36
Speaker 2: oh right, and then he gave me iron infusions. And
26:40
Speaker 2: then months later I went to another doctor and had
26:43
Speaker 2: blood's done and he was like, ah, your iron is
26:46
Speaker 2: ten times higher than it should be. And I was like, oh,
26:50
Speaker 2: doctor x y Z gave me some mind infusued he goes,
26:52
Speaker 2: did he do it by weight? I'm like, he goes,
26:55
Speaker 2: did he test why you had that lower iron in
26:59
Speaker 2: the first I go not right that, Like they're doctors,
27:03
Speaker 2: they should be looking into that. Someone should be But
27:06
Speaker 2: when you don't know, you just go okay, oh thanks, yeah,
27:09
Speaker 2: give me an infusion. Done, tick, move on.
27:13
Speaker 1: I heard I heard the very polarizing Jordan Peterson. So
27:18
Speaker 1: forget his politics or whatever, folks, but just from a
27:22
Speaker 1: personal experience, I heard him talking about he only eats meat.
27:25
Speaker 1: Did you know that?
27:26
Speaker 2: No?
27:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, he only eats meat. He's a carnival like, doesn't
27:30
Speaker 1: even eat vegetables. Right, But he had all of these conditions,
27:36
Speaker 1: all of these inflammatory conditions, like problems with his teeth
27:40
Speaker 1: and his gums, and even mental health issues because he
27:44
Speaker 1: got addicted to this painkiller. I think it was in
27:47
Speaker 1: Europe anyway, I heard him talking. Also, his daughter Mikayla
27:52
Speaker 1: has significant issues. Maybe they have a few green veggies
27:58
Speaker 1: or something, but they definitely they eat carbs, starchy carbs,
28:02
Speaker 1: and I'm pretty sure only meat, meat, and like salt.
28:05
Speaker 1: Right now, would I recommend that to anyone? Fuck?
28:10
Speaker 2: No?
28:11
Speaker 1: Would I eat like that? Fuck? Nah? That is so
28:16
Speaker 1: not appealing to me. But I think for three or
28:19
Speaker 1: four years he's done that, and all of his health
28:22
Speaker 1: markers are through the roof, right, Now that's not science,
28:27
Speaker 1: that's that's an anecdotal case, an equus one. But I
28:32
Speaker 1: mean he's not an idiot, he's a PhD. He's a
28:35
Speaker 1: very intelligent man. Love him, I hate him, and you go,
28:39
Speaker 1: this is my point. My point is not we should
28:42
Speaker 1: all do that. My point is we shouldn't all, you know,
28:45
Speaker 1: become boxes or fucking bullfed bodybuilders or you know. But
28:49
Speaker 1: the thing is this arbitrary, inflexible kind of way of
28:55
Speaker 1: thinking that no, that doesn't work for bodies, No, that
28:58
Speaker 1: doesn't work for somebodies, you know, and then you know
29:04
Speaker 1: for you that that kind of you know, when you
29:07
Speaker 1: go to two experts who basically give you very different
29:10
Speaker 1: information within a short period of time about your own physiology,
29:16
Speaker 1: you know, it's like then you kind of go, who
29:20
Speaker 1: the fuck do I believe?
29:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's who I believe, right, yes, making decisions
29:27
Speaker 2: like and you know what I find interest. There's a
29:30
Speaker 2: lot of different diets out there, and as soon as
29:32
Speaker 2: someone has a result, they they want to be an
29:34
Speaker 2: advocate of it, which is which is great, But how
29:38
Speaker 2: much of that is just validation? But how many people
29:40
Speaker 2: that are on these radical diets like Carnival, how many
29:44
Speaker 2: of them started by first just fucking off processed foods
29:49
Speaker 2: and going, you know, I'm just going to eat whole foods.
29:51
Speaker 2: I'm just going to start there. Test that first, because
29:54
Speaker 2: there you go from eating anything and everything to only meet.
29:59
Speaker 2: Of course, whatever you cut out, there's a portion of
30:02
Speaker 2: it that's going to be the culprit. He's going to
30:05
Speaker 2: have a result of making you feel better. Of course,
30:08
Speaker 2: when people do that, no one comes to me and says,
30:12
Speaker 2: I'm carnival. I spent a year just eating no processed
30:16
Speaker 2: food and that didn't work.
30:20
Speaker 1: Upset Well, even when you think of things that people
30:23
Speaker 1: now consider fucking miracle cures like ozenpic you go, okay,
30:28
Speaker 1: so what does ozepic do? Ah? Well, I mean it
30:30
Speaker 1: does a few things from a mechanism point of view
30:34
Speaker 1: that aren't very fucking attractive some of them. But one
30:37
Speaker 1: of the things that it does do it suppresses hunger.
30:42
Speaker 1: Oh and what's the consequence of that? Are you eat less? Ah?
30:45
Speaker 1: So people are losing weight? Hang on because they're reducing calories. Yeah.
30:51
Speaker 1: Ah well, here's a question. Is it possible to reduce
30:55
Speaker 1: calories just by reducing calories? And before you send me
31:00
Speaker 1: an email, yeah, I know, it's easier said than done.
31:02
Speaker 1: I get it, of course. I mean, do you know
31:05
Speaker 1: what fucking makes me laugh? As when I put up
31:07
Speaker 1: a post and someone writes easier said than done, I'm like,
31:12
Speaker 1: of course you fuck with of course, it's everything is
31:18
Speaker 1: literally easier said than done, you know. I mean, here's
31:23
Speaker 1: an idea, and I know it's hard, and I know
31:26
Speaker 1: it's not convenient, and I know it's not easy. I
31:29
Speaker 1: get it. But if you just reduce your calories and
31:35
Speaker 1: you increase your calorie expenditure, you're going to lose weight,
31:41
Speaker 1: you know. And yes, there's a few rare exceptions, and
31:43
Speaker 1: we're putting aside people with ridiculous not ridiculous, but rare hormonal.
31:48
Speaker 1: But for the most part, the average punter, you know.
31:51
Speaker 1: But again, this is not glamorous, quick, fun, sexy.
31:54
Speaker 2: It's also a process of elimination. Like food, there's always it,
31:58
Speaker 2: there's your physiological effort, affect your emotional, your psychological attachment
32:03
Speaker 2: with food. So that whole intimate and fasting thing. For me,
32:06
Speaker 2: one of the things I loved about it, aside from
32:07
Speaker 2: just energy, is my relationship with food is so much
32:10
Speaker 2: better when I can get up and fast and then
32:14
Speaker 2: eat in an eight hour window, right that just I'm
32:17
Speaker 2: known to obsess over food. I can be really obsessive
32:20
Speaker 2: and bingey. I can eat and I'll you know, once
32:22
Speaker 2: I start, it's like I won't put it down. So
32:24
Speaker 2: then my next thing is, well, now if I'm not
32:27
Speaker 2: going to fast because I've I don't think that's doing
32:31
Speaker 2: my body good. Now I have to look at other reasons.
32:34
Speaker 2: Why how do I now control my hunger hornbones without
32:38
Speaker 2: just wrestling with it and going on, Well, that's just it.
32:40
Speaker 2: It's like no one else. Another thing that in that
32:43
Speaker 2: book that came up today was talking about gut health
32:46
Speaker 2: and how feeding different. You know people, they're talking about
32:48
Speaker 2: people that love chocolate, and chocolate feeds a certain type
32:51
Speaker 2: of bacteria, and then that bacteria is a colony inside
32:54
Speaker 2: your gut. And then when you cut sugar out or
32:57
Speaker 2: chocolate or whatever, the food is the craving subsidet. So
33:00
Speaker 2: it's like, oh, so then you start to understand it
33:03
Speaker 2: from this the biology of what you're eating, You go, oh,
33:05
Speaker 2: that might shift. Maybe I can do some gut stuff.
33:08
Speaker 2: Maybe I can see someone that can boost that part
33:12
Speaker 2: of my biology and make it a little bit easier.
33:14
Speaker 2: And then I cannot intermit fast and still have an
33:18
Speaker 2: easier time with food.
33:20
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, oh look, I mean the truth and the
33:25
Speaker 1: this is Craig the EmPATH here of course, like losing
33:28
Speaker 1: weight is not easy, and I've never said it's easy,
33:33
Speaker 1: but it's possible, like this is the good news, you know,
33:37
Speaker 1: and like it's like I don't want to be I
33:43
Speaker 1: met this guy today, right who maybe you know I
33:46
Speaker 1: don't take on new coaching clients. A lovely guy. He's
33:50
Speaker 1: got a bit of work to do when he knows that, right,
33:54
Speaker 1: And he's like really wants me to coach him. And
33:56
Speaker 1: I said, I'm not going to say yes right now.
34:00
Speaker 1: He's gone away, he's gone away tonight for a few weeks.
34:02
Speaker 1: I said, I want you to think about it. I said,
34:04
Speaker 1: but if you're interested in like if what you want
34:10
Speaker 1: is me to be you to see me once a
34:12
Speaker 1: week and I'm a little bit of a personal cheer squad,
34:15
Speaker 1: and I tell you you're awesome and you're trying hard.
34:17
Speaker 1: I go, I'm not that guy, Like, I'm interested in
34:21
Speaker 1: you over the next five, ten, twenty years, really changing
34:24
Speaker 1: how you know your mind, body emotions work, because he
34:28
Speaker 1: needs to and he knows that I'm interested in your
34:31
Speaker 1: long term kind of quality of life and performance and experience,
34:37
Speaker 1: and you're being happy content for all that, right, I'm
34:41
Speaker 1: not interested in making you feel good for five minutes
34:43
Speaker 1: in the middle of a chat. And it's like, we
34:47
Speaker 1: are very in our culture. And I'm generalizing so not
34:50
Speaker 1: all of our listeners, of course, but you know, we
34:53
Speaker 1: are so addicted to comfort and people telling us we're
34:57
Speaker 1: amazing and validating our fear. And I understand all of that,
35:02
Speaker 1: and we need to be loving, kind of empathetic. But
35:04
Speaker 1: you know, there have been times in my life where
35:07
Speaker 1: I needed someone to go you've been a fucking idiot,
35:10
Speaker 1: because I was being a fucking idiot, right. I just
35:15
Speaker 1: was like, I wish that there was a person in
35:19
Speaker 1: my life. And there have been a few who have
35:20
Speaker 1: thank you to those people, but who kind of called
35:23
Speaker 1: me on my bullshit, you know. And I told this
35:27
Speaker 1: story once or twice. But an old guy that I
35:29
Speaker 1: used to really look up to and love, he when
35:33
Speaker 1: I was very young. He and he was real smart,
35:36
Speaker 1: real wise. He said to me, you need to be
35:38
Speaker 1: careful what you do with your mouth, because you're going
35:40
Speaker 1: to bring people down or raise them up. And he goes,
35:43
Speaker 1: you have a gift and you have a responsibility. What
35:46
Speaker 1: you do with your mouth, what you choose to do,
35:50
Speaker 1: is very important. And nobody had ever spoken to me
35:54
Speaker 1: like that because I was a smart ass and I
35:57
Speaker 1: could make people laugh or I could fucking slice and
35:59
Speaker 1: dice them with my words, right, and I didn't want
36:02
Speaker 1: to do that. But if somebody would have a go
36:04
Speaker 1: at me, it was like somebody would throw one punch,
36:08
Speaker 1: I would throw forty six, right, And that was just
36:12
Speaker 1: about my bullshit. And he said that to me, and
36:15
Speaker 1: he goes, you can spend your life bringing people down
36:17
Speaker 1: or up. It's a choice. And that changed my life.
36:21
Speaker 1: But you know, I had to be told that, and
36:25
Speaker 1: somebody had to go to me. You know, he didn't
36:29
Speaker 1: say this because he's too nice, but like you're being
36:32
Speaker 1: a fuck with being a fuck, you know. And even
36:35
Speaker 1: times when there were times when I had to say
36:38
Speaker 1: to myself, Craig, you're not fat because you're fucking thick set,
36:41
Speaker 1: full figure, Craig, you're fat because you're just overeating. You're
36:45
Speaker 1: just overeating, you know. And I'm not saying anyone else,
36:50
Speaker 1: so don't get upset. I'm talking about myself. But like
36:53
Speaker 1: when I was morbidly obese, which I was as a
36:55
Speaker 1: child then later as an adult. Right, I was one
36:58
Speaker 1: hundred and seven kilos in my late twenties, right, which
37:05
Speaker 1: is nelly? What is that? It's third? What is that
37:09
Speaker 1: thirty two kilos three kilos heavier than now? And it's
37:13
Speaker 1: because I was eating shit. It wasn't it wasn't genetically predetermined,
37:18
Speaker 1: and it wasn't like, oh fucking woe is me. I
37:21
Speaker 1: was just being a dickhead with food. I was eating
37:24
Speaker 1: way too much. I was eating bad food. I was
37:25
Speaker 1: eating too much food and the consequence. And that's not
37:29
Speaker 1: self loathing, that's just honesty, that's just harps. You're doing
37:34
Speaker 1: this thing, and this is the result. Now you can
37:37
Speaker 1: jump up and down. You can talk about your genetics,
37:40
Speaker 1: you can you can talk about the business dinners that
37:42
Speaker 1: you have to go to. You can talk about how
37:45
Speaker 1: busy you are and how you don't have time to
37:46
Speaker 1: prep meals. You can and then but you're still fucking fat. Right,
37:51
Speaker 1: you can like and at the end of the day,
37:53
Speaker 1: for me, anyway, that works for me. Obviously, I'm not
37:58
Speaker 1: going to walk up to someone and talk like that ever. Right,
38:01
Speaker 1: But the truth is the truth. If you're wasting your talent,
38:04
Speaker 1: you're wasting your talent. So don't get upset at me
38:09
Speaker 1: because you're the one wasting it, you know, if you're
38:12
Speaker 1: bullshitting and saying it's a time thing when it's a
38:15
Speaker 1: you thing. Also, don't get mad at me if it
38:19
Speaker 1: actually is a you thing. If it isn't a you thing,
38:23
Speaker 1: then I'm wrong and you're right. That's cool, carry on,
38:26
Speaker 1: But don't spend your life rationalizing failure and underachievement and
38:32
Speaker 1: underperformance and wasted potential because you actually don't want to
38:37
Speaker 1: own your own actions or your own choices or your
38:41
Speaker 1: own behaviors. Like you know, you're never going to have
38:47
Speaker 1: more talent than you've got right now, tif, I'm never
38:49
Speaker 1: going to have more talent than I've got. I can
38:51
Speaker 1: get more skill, I can get more efficiency, I can
38:55
Speaker 1: get maybe a bit more muscle, I can get a
38:58
Speaker 1: bit more knowledge, I can get a bit more qualified,
39:01
Speaker 1: but I can't get more talented. So the question is
39:04
Speaker 1: how much of my talent will I use? And I
39:08
Speaker 1: think that's all potential, genetic potential, creative potential, intellectual potential,
39:13
Speaker 1: business potential, personal professional, Like I tried real hard and
39:19
Speaker 1: I'm nowhere near my limit, you know, so you know
39:23
Speaker 1: that's what fascinates me.
39:25
Speaker 2: I was talking to a girl yesterday and did eight
39:27
Speaker 2: years eighteen years as gymnast, and we were talking about
39:30
Speaker 2: gymnasts and body image and identity and what's in. I
39:33
Speaker 2: talked about how I remember when I was first started boxing,
39:38
Speaker 2: super lean and ripped and crazy.
39:39
Speaker 1: You know.
39:39
Speaker 2: I used to say, like, I'm so glad people used
39:42
Speaker 2: to say to me, you should do bodybuild and get
39:43
Speaker 2: on stage like you're already like you could just get
39:45
Speaker 2: on stage tomorrow with this bray tand and I was like,
39:49
Speaker 2: I wouldn't stick to the diet plan. I have no
39:51
Speaker 2: interest in being that strict with my diet because I
39:53
Speaker 2: just want to eat what I want to eat. But
39:55
Speaker 2: I used to say, I'm so glad that that body
39:58
Speaker 2: is just to reaper cut of the thing that I
40:01
Speaker 2: love doing that much that I do it. And that's
40:03
Speaker 2: an easy thing to think about yourself. But at times
40:06
Speaker 2: when I wasn't able to train, or times when I
40:08
Speaker 2: didn't feel that way about my body, it was like, oh,
40:10
Speaker 2: like there's sometimes you aren't bullshitting yourself too, like you know,
40:17
Speaker 2: I wasn't always that. And then sometimes I was driven.
40:19
Speaker 2: In fact, it's easy to say, like I've got great
40:22
Speaker 2: genetics and I've always been really active, but there's been
40:27
Speaker 2: bouts of times in my life where I eat to
40:29
Speaker 2: move and move to eat where I go and chastise myself.
40:32
Speaker 2: And like before I started sport, I would go haul
40:36
Speaker 2: off to the gym because I'd just overeating a whole
40:38
Speaker 2: bunch of shit, because the idea of putting on weight
40:42
Speaker 2: was fucking a non event, like you know so, and
40:48
Speaker 2: I spent a lot of and but would never fully
40:50
Speaker 2: admit that to myself. There were just bouts of that,
40:53
Speaker 2: and then you get into a sport and you're like, oh,
40:55
Speaker 2: I don't you know body image. Look at those bodybuilders
40:57
Speaker 2: that obsess over food. I'm just this is just you
41:00
Speaker 2: know ah, And then next minute, Yeah.
41:06
Speaker 1: I think the core messages here are one body awareness.
41:12
Speaker 1: Two more broadly, self awareness, uh, self regulation, and self control.
41:22
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, we all that's the ever present
41:25
Speaker 1: challenge for all of us. And self control might be
41:29
Speaker 1: with how you speak to people. It might be with
41:31
Speaker 1: how you spend your money. It might be with how
41:34
Speaker 1: much television you watch, or how much study you're getting done,
41:38
Speaker 1: or you know, how you're responding to criticism. You know.
41:44
Speaker 1: It's like, and that's the thing, you know, It's like,
41:48
Speaker 1: I mean, this is going to sound cheesy, but that's
41:51
Speaker 1: literally why I called this show that you project, you know,
41:54
Speaker 1: because it's like that is I'm the project, You're the
41:58
Speaker 1: we are the project. In my life, you know, my
42:01
Speaker 1: biggest challenge will always be me. My biggest asset and
42:04
Speaker 1: problem will be me, my ability to make good decisions,
42:08
Speaker 1: my ability to manage myself. Before I try to even
42:12
Speaker 1: have any impact on anyone else's life, I need to
42:15
Speaker 1: make sure that I'm I'm not a fuck up, I'm
42:19
Speaker 1: not a fraud, that I am walking my talk. You know.
42:24
Speaker 1: It's like I said to this dude today. You know
42:27
Speaker 1: what I did love about this dude today? He sits
42:29
Speaker 1: down and he goes, so I'm a narcissist. And I'm like,
42:34
Speaker 1: oh my god. You know, I don't think any man
42:37
Speaker 1: has ever sat down. I go go on and he goes.
42:40
Speaker 1: I know, he goes, I'm full of ego, I'm insecure.
42:44
Speaker 1: I do things for attention. I'm like, well, you're a
42:46
Speaker 1: pretty fucking evolved narcissist, right, Like that's and I'm like
42:50
Speaker 1: I was I said you know what, and he and
42:54
Speaker 1: you'd think, oh, he's not a narcissist then because he's
42:57
Speaker 1: but then and he is. But he wants to like
43:01
Speaker 1: he was brave enough to go, this is what I
43:04
Speaker 1: do and how I am and it creates problems, like
43:08
Speaker 1: it is just at that point where he's gone, it's
43:11
Speaker 1: I know what I do and I recognize the problems
43:14
Speaker 1: that it creates and I need help. I'm like, wow,
43:18
Speaker 1: that's that. I don't know that anyone has ever said
43:21
Speaker 1: that to me, So fucking go, you go. You you know,
43:26
Speaker 1: I love that. I love it when men can be
43:28
Speaker 1: a bit like, I'm the problem, so by the way,
43:33
Speaker 1: I'm the problem. Cool, good work, so well done. That's
43:38
Speaker 1: awareness and acknowledgment step one. Fucking pat on the back.
43:42
Speaker 1: All right, let's go, motherfucker, let's be better.
43:45
Speaker 2: You know, he wouldn't have lied you not saying yes
43:47
Speaker 2: straight away and then haaps what that is? It's a
43:52
Speaker 2: training him, the coaching him.
43:54
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, no, well I don't you know. I mean,
43:58
Speaker 1: for me, coaching people's are sweet because I want to
44:03
Speaker 1: help people, but I don't want people then to become
44:05
Speaker 1: dependent on that help.
44:08
Speaker 2: But I don't think that's coaching. So coaching leaves them
44:11
Speaker 2: with more tools than they came with.
44:13
Speaker 1: Yeah that theoretically, yes, but that isn't how it plays
44:18
Speaker 1: out with a lot of coaches and trainers. You're right,
44:21
Speaker 1: you're right, But I also know some people who have
44:24
Speaker 1: had the same psychologists, coach, fucking trainer for ten years.
44:28
Speaker 1: My dude, if you still need to go, it's not
44:31
Speaker 1: the best model, you know. So, hey, that was interesting.
44:38
Speaker 2: Look at us Jo. Who needs a plan?
44:40
Speaker 1: Ah? Who needs a plan? Hey, everybody, don't forget to
44:43
Speaker 1: follow tiff on Instagram. You can follow her at Tiffany
44:47
Speaker 1: and Co.
44:48
Speaker 2: Tiffany with a Double A or Roll with the Punches
44:50
Speaker 2: Underscore podcast. Then you won't get all the cat and
44:53
Speaker 2: dog photos.
44:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, Or you can follow Fatty Harps, Craig, Anthony Harper,
44:59
Speaker 1: and and Tips. Home address is Unit three. Uh, I
45:04
Speaker 1: don't know what it is actually, all right, Thanks TIFFs
45:09
Speaker 1: pop Bye,