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Transcript

Donald Drumpf Theatre 302: A New Low from the Ego Trippin’ President · Donald Drumpf Theatre radio show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Previously on the Donald Trump Theater radio show.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_03: When the president isn't sleeping
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: on the job, he's actually got some pretty good singers.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: We inherited a total catastrophe.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Biden and the radical left.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Democrats, I call them Democrats because their policies are so dumb.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: You exchange the E with the U and nobody knows that dumb doesn't have a B. Um...
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: Dumb does have a B.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's just silent.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like Milano on your wedding night.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: Drumps.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Administration officials, net job approval rating.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: Look, they're all underwater here.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: You got four guys across your screen.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: You got Marco Rubio, who's at minus eight.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: You got RFK Jr., minus nine.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: You got J.D.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: Vance, the vice president, minus 17.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: But who takes the cake here?
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Look at this.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: Pete Hegseth, as I said, the lowest of the low.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: 22 points underwater.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_03: We are controlling transmission, if we wish to
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: make it louder.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_03: We will bring up the body.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: We can change the focus to a soft blur.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_03: You've just crossed over into... Am I stepping into the twilight zone?
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_03: Places in that house, feels like we're gone.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_03: My weakness can't move, I'm the moon and star.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_03: Where am I to go now that I've gone too far?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_03: For your consideration,
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: a nation held hostage by the fragile ego of a man-baby president you were trapped
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_03: with in the Twilight Zone.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: Looking at all the numbers, how low is it?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: You know, if this were a game of limbo, President Trump would be winning.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: Unfortunately, this is the game of presidential popularity.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_03: We
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_03: are
• 2:51
  reaching a new road.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: And he is reaching record lows yet again.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: He is losing.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: Just take a look here.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: Drumpf.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: Not approval.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: It hits a term too low.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: 31 points underwater.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: 31 points underwater according to Ipsos to Reuters.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: Ipsos, Paul, look where he was at the beginning of term number two.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: He was at plus six points.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: So he is down 37 points from where he was at the beginning of his second presidency.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_03: Come on, shake me down.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_03: Love will end your trunk.
• 3:50
  I don't want to sleep alone.
• 3:53
  I wanna sleep in your bunk.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_03: Say the word in my shoes.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: You must be crazy.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_03: Say the word.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: President Drumpf was unpopular going into the midterms during his first presidency,
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: but not anywhere as unpopular as this.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_02: He was 12 points underwater,
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: so he is doing versus where he was at term number one at this point.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: He is doing 19 points worse than he was doing in term number one at this point.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, those midterms were quite disastrous for the Republican Party.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: So you look at these numbers and you just go, oy vey if you're a Republican.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: Republicans still, in large part, support Donald.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: Drumpf.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: But it is independents who are the name of the game.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: They are the driver in elections.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: And just look at why these numbers are falling the way that they are.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: It is because of independents.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: Drumpf.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: That's a 46-point drop.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: So you see that drop of, what,
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: 37 points from where he was at the beginning of his presidency among
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: the overall electorate?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: But that's nothing compared to this 46-point drop among independents.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_03: A pretty clear majority of the public think that it's inappropriate
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_03: that Donald Trump and his family has profited from these cryptocurrency deals
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_03: in recent years.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_03: It appears that only about a quarter or a third of Republicans said that this was inappropriate.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's some of the loyalty factor playing out there.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_03: The other finding that is particularly surprising to me is just how widespread
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_03: The view is
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_03: that Donald Trump's personal business ventures are influencing his decisions in
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: the White House.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_03: That was a higher share of the poll respondents and included about half
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: of Republicans who think that's the case.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_03: We've gotten a lot of signs from these polls
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: that Trump's falling popularity could be weighing on his Republican allies ahead
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_03: the midterms.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: And this poll shows one more factor
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_03: Not only do a lot of Americans,
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_03: and particularly important here with regard to the midterms,
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_03: independent voters,
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_03: have a critical view on Trump making money from his business ventures while
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_03: in office.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of people see both parties as corrupt.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_03: But that view appears to be a little more intense when it comes to Republicans.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Both the President and White House escalated a war of words today
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: with Georgia Democratic Senator John Ossoff.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: At issue,
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: the Senator's remarks about the White House Ballroom and
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: a devoted presidential aide known by some as the Human Printer.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Senator Ossoff,
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: who is seen as a possible 2028 presidential candidate,
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: is currently running for reelection and said this at
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: a campaign appearance yesterday.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_02: While the sailors on the Lincoln fight his war,
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_03: while he fruitlessly drains our munitions and oil reserves,
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: the president sleeps through his meetings.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_03: He golfs and trades stocks.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: See, he doesn't want to do the job.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: He wants to build his ballroom and travel
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_03: with Natalie
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: on their apparently defenseless flying with Alice.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Natalie is Natalie Harp,
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: a close White House aide who often stays up late with the president helping him post
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: on social media.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: She also spends her time printing up flattering mentions of the president for him,
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: sometimes with a portable printer on the golf course.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: She was one of only a few people the president took with him aboard the secret plane
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: when he left the NATO summit in Turkey,
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: while others,
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: including Secretary of State Rubio and Treasury Secretary Scott Besant,
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: rode on the decoy plane.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Today CNN's Kristen Holmes asked the president about what Senator Ossoff said.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: You mean Pee Wee Herman?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: Pee Wee Herman lookalike?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: No, I would much rather do other things.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: We're building a great facility here.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: The whole building, the White House, was let go.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: The exteriors were falling apart.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: The columns were falling apart.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: The whole place was a mess.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: In addition, they've been trying to get a ballroom for the last 150 years.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: So to a question about Senator Ossoff's criticism of his preoccupation in
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: the ballroom,
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: the president steered his answer,
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: which went on several minutes longer, back to the ballroom.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: We'd love to have 2,000 people coming to dinner and celebrating a nice evening,
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: etc., etc.,
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: but we only have a room that's going to hold 89 people,
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: and 89 people is not appropriate.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe more importantly, it's totally secure with bulletproof windows, bulletproof sides.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's drone proof.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's missile.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Every at the top of the line.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: And we need it.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: And especially with what's happened, unfortunately, to The world, you could say.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: You could say, and he did say, in addition to calling Senator Ossoff Peewee Herman.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: His White House communications director,
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Stephen Chung,
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: also went after Ossoff,
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: as did another White House press official who posted this on social media.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: John Ossoff is a cringe-worthy, feminine theater kid cosplaying as Barack Obama.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody gives a S what this lightweight loser says.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody cares, allegedly, but they all made sure to respond.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, Maggie,
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: you've reported extensively on the president's working relationship
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: with Natalie Harp in your book.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: How do you see this reaction from him and the White House communications team?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I didn't see the president actually respond to this at all.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: In terms of the White House communications team,
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think that there's two potential ways to look at this.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: One is that Ossoff actually is a talented politician.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't hurt Democrats to be compared to Barack You know,
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: he's still a pretty popular politician, particularly among Democrats, number one.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: But number two,
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Ossoff is both in the lead in Georgia,
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: which is a key state in terms of his reelection.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And separately, he is seen as a frontrunner potentially for 2028.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: We reported in our She is completely devoted to Drumpf.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: She left letters in his personal spaces during the campaign,
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: one of which said, you are all that matters to me.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Her interest in him and those letters
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Trump has alarmed the Secret Service at the time as we reported.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Trump has told people around him that,
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: she's the only staffer who loves him as much as his wife and children,
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: that you'll all go off and leave me and make money and she'll never leave me.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: He mentioned one word, the first name of Natalie Harp.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: He didn't even mention her last name.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_03: And he didn't talk about her directly.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: He mentioned the fact that Drumpf would prefer to travel on his plane with her than
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_03: to do the job The problem that John Ossoff is pointing out here is
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_03: that Donald Trump is obsessed about the White House ballroom.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_03: He's obsessed about
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_03: The reflecting pool.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_03: He's obsessed about the gold ornaments in the Oval Office.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: He's not obsessed about the American people paying $4 a gallon for gasoline.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_03: He's not obsessed about rising inflation.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_03: He's not doing anything about health care and jobs,
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_03: the things that he's supposed to be taking care of.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the problem.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's what John Ossoff is pointing out here.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: At an event at the White House yesterday designed to honor a 16-year-old lifeguard
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: and the 10-year-old boy he rescued earlier this summer,
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Trump again let his misogyny show when he didn't pass up an opportunity
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: to viciously attack a female journalist whose question he did not like.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: CNN's Kristen Holmes asked Donald Trump at the event about comments from Senator John Ossoff.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Ossoff said that Trump is more interested in traveling around with his aide,
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Natalie Harp,
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: who has been referred to as Drumpf Human Printer,
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: than he seems interested in doing his job as the president of the United States.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Harp was notably among the handful of aides chosen to accompany Donald Drumpf
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: as he stowed away in a catering cart and then secretly fled Air Force One in Turkey
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: for a third aircraft to fly to the UK.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Holmes clearly struck a nerve with her question because
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: when she asked another question about Drumpf's relationship with Kim Jong-un,
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Drumpf resorted to, again,
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: vicious personal attacks against her and even tried to drag
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: the 10-year-old boy sitting next to him into the attacks.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_03: Did he ask you specifically
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: to scale back on those?
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Quiet.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: You're very disrespectful in front of this young man, okay?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Don't you find her disrespectful?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: He understands.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Quiet.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: Who are you with?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm with CNN.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Fake news.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to follow up on the South Korea question.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: You're a loud, boisterous person, you're fake news.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was trying to find out if you had been talking to Kim Jong-un if he had asked you
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: to scale back on those military exercises.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: After the event,
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: the White House escalated those personal attacks against the journalist Holmes in
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: a social media post reacting to her question regarding Natalie Harp.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: The White House invoked Welcome back
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: to Puppet News Network's Leaders Are Readers series,
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: where we find out what world leaders are pretending to read.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: First up, Vladimir Putin.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: What's on your night table these days?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_03: In my isolation, I am digging into Russian classic, Special Military Operation and Peace.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: I thought you'd be more into war crimes and punishment,
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_03: but... That's a separate book club I have with Netanyahu.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yikes!
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_03: How about you, German Chancellor Merz?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_03: You reading any good fiction?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_03: For what?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_03: To empathize mit made-up people?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_03: Do you empathize with real people?
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_03: For what?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: To empathize mit real people?
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: Logical as always.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_03: Delcy Rodriguez in Venezuela.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_03: Girl, what are you reading?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_03: Don Marco Rubio.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_03: He, gracias a Dios, he has given me permission to read An American Son by Marco Rubio.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_03: Ay, tan lindo este libro.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_03: You have certainly been sonned by an American.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_03: Next door in Brazil, Lula, what are you reading?
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: Compañero, I am reading Younger News.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_03: You're not going to be younger next year.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_03: Are you trying to meddle in my election?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_03: Elections.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: Let's go to somebody who doesn't have to worry about that.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_03: Xi Jinping, what are you reading?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_03: Just leafy through the suicide of the West.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_03: Whoa.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, I mean tortoise and the hare.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_03: I always root for the tortoise.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: Nice save.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, last up, Donald Drumpf.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_03: Somebody gave me green eggs and ham.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_03: Have you heard of it?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: What a loser, okay?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_03: In the end, he just totally folded.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, he didn't need to eat the green eggs and ham.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_03: What did he?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_03: Well, maybe he was stuck in a quagmire.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe the midterms were coming up.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, maybe.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm back in the spotlight,
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_03: all thanks to President Oompa J.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_03: Loompa, who is watching us this evening from inside a catering cart.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I couldn't have done it without you, sweetie.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: You brought me back, just like you did with fascism and the measles.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_03: We also learned today that the United States could be acquiring some new land soon.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_03: Velveeta Corleone was up bright and early at 7 a.m.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_03: this morning to post an image of a map listing the Strait of Hormuz as a U.S.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_03: territory, which makes literally no sense.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: The Moronathon continues.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_03: Today, Scooby-Doo meets Donald Trump.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody, very bad people, turned my beautiful pool green.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: Vandals!
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Despite what Janine Pirro says, we even caught this one in the act.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Could be years in jail.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: I've called you in to solve the mystery of who's behind it.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_03: We'll take the case.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_03: Like?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's not a reflecting pool, man.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: That's a reflecting ditch.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, gang.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_03: We have to find out who's responsible for the debacle at the reflecting pool.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: Daphne, you come with me.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_03: Shag, you and Scoob check out the far end of the pool.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: And Velma, you investigate the pool itself.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_03: Let's meet at the Washington Monument at midnight.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_03: This place is kind of creepy, Scoob.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe a little snack would help take our minds off it.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: Salami.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_03: Sardines.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_03: Lettuce.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: Zoinks!
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_03: Run, school, wait!
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, who goes there?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_03: Just awesome-like, this spooky monster.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, where'd he go?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, aren't you done, Nots?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_03: You notice that, huh?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, I've been recruited by ICE and President Trump to find illegals and
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_03: to guard this pool from vandals.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_03: But that's impossible.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_03: This is satire.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_03: Don't overthink it.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_03: Dark blue paint chips?
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_03: And the liner split all the way out here in the middle of the pool where no one could reach?
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: And what's this?
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: A no-bid work order that reads, Rush job for America's birthday, skip the primer.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_03: Signed by Donald J. Trump Jinkies.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know Harlem Globetrotters.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: It sure doesn't look like vandals to me.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_03: Nope.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_03: It sure does.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone around these parks knows about the legend of the Potomac Muck Man.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_03: This reflecting pool was constructed on dredged up marshland.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_03: The Muck Man did everything he could to stop the pool from being built on his marsh.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_03: Ever since the algae arrived, he's been spotted hunting the pool.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: We've got to come up with a plan to capture the Muck Man.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: He's the key to solving this mystery.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_03: Right, Fred.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_03: Let's go over the plan one more time.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_03: We set out these decoy unredacted Epstein files.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_03: Not even the Potomac Munkman can resist them.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_03: When he goes to leaf through the documents, I'll drop a net on him from above.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_03: Then we'll have the answers we need to solve the case.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: But Fred, I found some clues that... Later, Velma.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: Scooby, you and Shaggy take the files and create a path along the pool leading to the table.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: I thought all these documents had to be released a long time ago.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_03: Like, there he is, Scoob.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_03: Let's scram.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for helping us catch the muck man.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: We can lock him up with this Olympic canoeer.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_03: But how does this solve the mystery of the vandals of the reflecting pool?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's just like old man Carruthers told us,
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_03: disturb the swamp for your own vanity, and it rises green to reclaim what's yours.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_03: That's why the water's green and the paint is peeling.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_03: Or, Algy, in a pool-painted American flag, dark blue is part of a no-bid contract.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: There were never any vandals.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_03: The dark paint made the perfect conditions for this whole debacle,
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: and the contractors botched the job, which led to the liner peeling itself.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_03: You, sir, are free to go.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_03: And the muck man?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Trump?
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_03: He played the muck man and made up the whole vandal story to scare everyone off
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: before they figured out he was responsible for the whole thing.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you're going to get away with it.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_03: We'll see to that.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_03: That's my girl.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: So the U.S.S.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: Lincoln.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know,
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: they always said,
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: oh, Lincoln, sir, Lincoln is the greatest president we've ever had, sir.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if he was so great,
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: why the hell did he get shot like a dog and why are people not tough
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: on his aircraft carrier?
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: Probably because they didn't even have aircraft when he was...
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: President, how the hell could he be the best president?
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: They had no security at theaters, okay?
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: They had no planes, so you didn't even need an aircraft carrier.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: What the hell would an aircraft carrier even do?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: There was no aircraft to carry.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: You know,
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: if you were a smart person and not stupid,
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: you wouldn't ask about the USS Lincoln, but...
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: I have been told,
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: repeatedly,
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: by our great Secretary of War,
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: we call him Administrative Assistant of War,
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Pete Hankshaft, he is a secretary who is very feminine.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: He has repeatedly told me he loves semen.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: And for somebody that loves semen, he says he even sometimes uses it in his hair.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: He says he gets that thick, sort of wavy glow, he calls it, there's something about Mary, sir.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, is that another ship, like the Mary, there's something about Mary.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's one of our strongest vessels of semen.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: And he said he loves semen and he uses it in his hair
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: and he would never let anything happen to our great semen.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe him and you should believe him because he's done a lot more
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: for this country than you.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: You are a drain on this country, the fake news.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: So there's a few complainers and a few Stupid families,
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: let's be honest, we have to be honest, nobody loves our military more than me, okay?
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: Now it's true that my son down junior wanted to join the military to feel like a man
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: or something.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, what do you want to do?
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: But I slapped the shit out of him in front of me.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's a true story, you get more credit.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: So nobody has more respect for the military than me.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: But not every gold star families, military, a lot of them are great, a lot of them are great.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: But some of them are stupid people.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: And some of them are my supporters and they're incredibly stupid.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: And they're making up things to make me seem bad.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: There's a mental health and no toilet paper.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: You're in the ocean, take a swim, let the salt water clean out your butthole.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: How about that?
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: Did they not teach you that at Navy Seaman School?
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you just...
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever I go to the ocean, I pee and shit in the ocean, just floats away, floats away.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: I can't, do I need to run the Navy as well?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm doing a good job as,
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: you know, what I'm doing is the best.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe I should run the Navy too because I could teach them.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: I kill the enemy, piss and shit in the water.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's a big ocean.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: When the water messes up,
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: Let's go!