Latest / The Checkpoint Podcast: Questions / Episode 30 | Do the people closest to me actually know what I want next?
Transcript
- Podcast episode 30: Hey, it's Dexter, creator of Reboot Player One and host at the Checkpoint. And and today's question is Do the people closest to me actually know what I want next? Do the people closest to me know what I want next? That's an interesting question. Because the answer for me is no. Which Is odd, which I think some people will find odd. I have a lot of family. And that family is quite close. Now, look, when I mean a lot, in in terms of immediate family, I would, you know, I probably have around ten, about a dozen or so. Twelve, fifteen, I think. I I don't want to really count them, but you know, it's definitely under twenty. extended family is is into the hundreds more if if you count overseas, but realistically immediate family is is quite close. And there's about a dozen or so. And only a handful of handful of them only know what it is that I actually want. And The reason for that is I I guess it's it's because I guess I don't want judgment. I just kind of I I want to do what I want to do. And I've never really been the person to I think what they call it these days is is like ask for permission. I I generally have a good feeling about something. And and I just I I just generally tend to to do it, to to start it. You know, I I'm not a cowboy in that I I just start everything willy-nilly. There's obviously some thought behind it, some research, some you know, some internal feelings about certain things that I want to try or do. And sometimes they they involve me asking other people, but more often than not I I kind of already have made a decision internally. If it ever gets to a point where I'm looking to ask people or a person about something that I want to do, it's generally because it might involve them immediately or it might affect them as a whole. and they they need to know and I need to ask them. But generally, if it's things that that I want to do for myself. That isn't going to put my family in a in a worse position, isn't going to put any of them in danger, isn't going to put me in danger, is something that I am genuinely interested in and potentially passionate about, then I'll just go do it. And I think I I may have in the past, or maybe if if not me personally, maybe I I've done this, but I know that. sometimes other people's opinions of what you want to do c can affect the your feeling about what it is that you want to try and build and try and do. And so quite early on in I I just learnt to not even go down that path and and just do what it is that I want to do. Now that can be selfish in a way, but like I said, you know, I I I don't start things out of the blue. It's not like I get out of bed one morning and decide, I'm gonna try this, and that's it. You know, there's a lot of thought behind it. There's a lot of soul searching, a lot of internal work, a lot of personal development involved in in certain big decisions. And most of those decisions I'm I'm okay in doing. Like I I wouldn't, you know, if if there was if there was something that I was wanting to do and at some point decided that. it wasn't going to benefit me or my family or or or make myself better as a person, I I wouldn't go down that path. I I just wouldn't even start it. But if it ever gets down to somebody somebody, if it ever gets down to a point where I tell somebody about it, there's a very good chance that I've already started it. I'm I'm quite well on in. I'm I'm trying different things. Rarely do I float an idea by a person to seek their approval, if you know what mean. I look I I would do it potentially to to see if it's an okay idea. But generally speaking, I've kind of done a lot of that research myself. And sometimes I've done the research by asking other people, but not including myself as part of that question, if you know what mean. So You know, friendly, for example, this whole the coaching thing that I'm going down, helping people and starting this community and and just really leaning on me growing and using my skills of communicating with people, which I love, by the way. You know, it's it's it's the one thing that I still really, really love in in running my own IT business is the fact that I can talk to these people, I can hang out. It's not just a a technical conversation about what computer to buy. It's how's the family, how's this, how's that. and it's talks about life and parenting and everything else. That's what I really, really enjoy and I love. And and so when the decision was made for me to pursue a coaching path, I had already in my mind researched it, taken a course, and spoken to some people about it. And I didn't ask them and say, Hey, do you think I'd make a good coach? Now, that could be blissful ignorance, but Deep inside I I kind of didn't want those initial judgments to come at me, even if they were positive. You know, I I I didn't need those affirmations of people saying that I could be. I was just going to go out there and try it. And if it doesn't work, maybe try something else or maybe change the way. You know, in fact I I've done that already multiple times. I started off with a course and then that I put together like years ago actually. And it turned into a community. And then I beefed up the course even more. And then tried to market it and felt a bit stuck. And pardon me. And now I'm sort of back into this community feel. So for me, it it's it's always been the motivation the motivation for me has always been internal. And the one thing that I'm starting to realize is I can get to a certain point. Where I can start building, I can make decisions, and I'm actually quite proud of what it is that I've achieved. Even from the outside, no one will have no idea. Most of the people that are closest to me would have zero idea. But there will come a point where I need to ask people, mainly for help, mainly for for suggestions, for ideas, for comments. It can get to that. But normally When things start in the beginning, they don't know. You know, it's I I think it also comes down to identity as well. They've always seen me as like an IT guy. And and and so when I change my identity and say, Hey, I'm no longer an IT guy, or I still am an IT guy, but I I'm now a coach, sometimes I probably am expecting some sort of like feedback. I guess. And it's not like I'm not proud to be it. It's just at at that point in time, I'm probably not needing to to tell them that. Like I'm still working on it. I'm still trying to to to to get a community together. I'm still working on certain things. And in hindsight, it it's funny now. I you know I I I do this video thing because the thoughts in my head are so different to when the thoughts come out as sound because my initial thought of like not telling people is now like I I think now is a good time to tell people in a in a way that is a bit more complete, a bit more comprehensive. It's one of those things where if I had I told them, you know, six months ago, maybe even longer when I thought about it, there might have been a bit more pressure. And even though my headspace of of doing coaching, of building a course, of starting a community, even though that hasn't changed for many years, had I told those closest to me at that time, I probably wouldn't be comfortable in in then answering their further questions. What sort of coaching do you do? What do you have? What does the community talk about? Because I hadn't really gone down that path of figuring it out. And I'm still figuring it out now. Except now I'm a little bit more comfortable in telling those closest to me. Which I think comes down to maybe a failure thing. You know, that's that's one of those things that that they tell you that all of these kind of goal setting books and that sort of stuff tell you. They they they'll say you should tell your friends what it is that you're trying to do because it it almost is like a It's a type of accountability. Because let's just say that you tell your friends about it and I don't know, two or three months down the track you catch up with them and they say, Hey, how's that coaching thing going? It's it's one of those things that you're like, well, you know, this is the truth. Or you just might not, you know, contact them because you're ashamed. Or you might just say, Hey, it's the greatest thing ever. Y you know, you don't know. But it's just one of those what if like there were the there are three different scenarios there. So now Since I'm since I'm about to wrap up this recording, the answer is still going to be no to the question of what do people closest to me actually know what I want next? Like, do the people closest to me know what I want next? The answer will still be no. But to extend upon that, The answer will be, but they will soon. I think that's it. Because I need to know what it is, what I want to do. There you go. It's the whole reason why I record this sort of stuff. That's crazy. Okay. if you have questions like this and you'd like to discuss them with a nice group of people, we do this every Wednesday, you can visit tc.rebuplayer1.com. My name is Dex, and I will see you on the next video. Bye.