Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / The Side of Justin Coulson You Don’t Usually Hear (Happy Birthday Dr J!)

Transcript

The Side of Justin Coulson You Don’t Usually Hear (Happy Birthday Dr J!) · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Today's episode's a bit different. It's not very often I
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: get to take the driver's seat, but today we are
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: going to celebrate Dr. Justin Coulson. It was his birthday
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: alongside mine, but we didn't get to share some special
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: experiences with him. So I put together a whole heap
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: of questions, and we're going to go behind the scenes
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: and find out all about the boy that was, the
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: man that is, and the father that we are celebrating
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: this week. Stay with us. It's the Happy Families Podcast,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: the podcast for... Why are you laughing at me?
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Just keep going. You're doing a great job. I love
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: it when you take over. We're not editing this, by
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: the way. Keep it going. Oh, don't do that to me.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: I believe in you. You can do it.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I can't even read your writing. Real parenting.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Solutions.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, solutions.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: I say it every single day. Literally every day we're
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: sitting here and you... You sit there and listen to
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: me say it. It's the Happy Families podcast. So great
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: to have you along.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Real Parenting Solutions every day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: I don't know how.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: We are Justin and Kylie Coulson. Yes. Is that all
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I've got to say?
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: No, we're the parents of six daughters, grandparents of one granddaughter.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Today on the podcast, away we go. You're doing great.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Keep going.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: We're the parent of... We're the parent, singular. I feel
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: like that sometimes. We are the parents of six daughters.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: You're here to celebrate me. You've decided today's the day
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: of celebration and you've just told me that you're doing
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: it on your own.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: And today we are going to, well, I'm going to
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: put you in the spotlight. Yep.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Because?
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Because you did it to me and it seems only fair. Well,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I would like to pretend that this is going to
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: be a lightning round and I'm going to say it's
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: a lightning round, but I know that when it comes
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: to you that it's going to take a lot longer
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: than a lightning round. But.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: That's one of the things we love about you. Right.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: So we're going to go back.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: That I can't stop talking once I start. That's what
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: everybody loves.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: We're going to go back in time a little bit.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: I brighten the room by leaving it because I was like, oh,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: finally someone else gets to talk about something.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I know. Stop.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about me.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Stop.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Sorry.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Stop. Okay.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Keep going.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: So what are we doing? This is because I asked
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: you questions for your birthday.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to ask you questions.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Standing by.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: All right. I want you to think back.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: To your childhood.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: I barely remember it.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: What's one smell or sound that instantly puts you back
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: in your childhood kitchen?
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: So stories are coming to me here. I don't have
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: any smells at all that come to mind. I don't
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: know that I've ever really been sort of one of
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: those olfactory kind of people. One of our children is
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: a smeller. Like smells just matter so much to her.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: But that's not me. Sounds matter. This is a terrible story,
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: but I remember the sound of the bar mix mincing
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: my mum's finger. I can't believe you're sharing that. Well,
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: that's the sound. She put her finger into the bar mix.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Do you remember the bar mix? Like the handheld whizzer
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: that whips up the cream. How do you put.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Your finger in a bar mix? The bar mix goes down.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: I wasn't there to see her doing it, but she
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: mangled her finger pretty badly. And there was quite a
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: story associated with The bar mix. That reminds me, when
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: I was at school, there was a girl at school,
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: her name was Natalie Passmore, and she licked the bar
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: mix because she'd been making a cake and she wanted
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: to lick the bar mix and accidentally turned it on.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: And there was a Cyndi Lauper song at the time,
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: There's a Hole in My Heart that goes all the
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: way to China. And we started singing, There's a hole
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: in my tongue and I did it with a bar mix.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: We thought it was great. I've completely let go of
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: the question already, but They're the things that I remember.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: The smell, maybe Philadelphia cream cheese, the icing that you
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: make that goes on banana cake and carrot cake.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: So sugar and lemon, that's what I'm smelling. Yeah, yeah.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: But there's something about that that just takes me back
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: as well. They're the instant memories that have come to
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: mind for whatever reason when you've asked that question. I
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: don't know if that's helpful. People are getting a really
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: deep insight into the life of Dr. Justin Coulson. This
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: is good, isn't it?
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: So- If you could pick to go back in time
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: and spend an hour with just one person, who would
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: you pick?
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: I don't even have to think about it. You know
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: who I'm going to say. I saw it in your
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: eyes as I said that. I'm going to say my
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: mum's mum, my Nana Bun. I was the first grandchild.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: And I don't know how many grandkids there are. There
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: must be something close to 20 for Nan. She passed away,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: I want to say, in 2013. I think it was
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: 2013 that she passed away, which was just after my
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: first book came out. And I dedicated that first book
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: to her because I was the first grandchild and I
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: was the favorite and I knew it and everybody else
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: knew it. And I just used to love being at
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: my nana Bunce place. She had the old Hills Hoist
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: clothesline in the backyard. And I used to, like no
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: one else let me do it. Mum and dad didn't
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: let me do this at home and my other grandparents
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: didn't let me do it. But Nana Bunt let me
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: used to grab hold of that Hill's Hoist and swing
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: around on the clothesline like it was a swing. She
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: used to give me five bucks and send me up
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: to the corner store so I could buy her a
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: packet of Winfield Reds because it was the 1970s, 1980s,
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: and kids couldn't do that back in the day. My
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: nan just always, always there for a laugh. Just as
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: I'm reflecting on this, though, my grandpa, my dad's dad,
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: he died at the age of 60. Massive heart attack.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: He dropped my nan off at the club, went and
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: parked the car at home, And then walked about a kilometre, walked,
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: ran about a kilometre to the bus stop so that
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: he could go down to the club and meet her
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: because he didn't want to drink and drive. And when
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: he arrived at the bus stop, he sat down and
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: had a massive heart attack and died. So he died
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: when I was nine or 10. Never really knew him.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: And it would be great to go and spend some
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: time with my granddad as well. I'm getting a bit
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: weepy now that I'm thinking about that.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: What's a moment from raising our girls that you didn't
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: expect to hit you as hard as it did?
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's easy as well. And It's one that's kind
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: of arrived really, really late. And that is when we
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: found out that we were going to be grandparents. So
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Indy's three years old, about a month ago now. And
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: I still remember, I've had this conversation with a number
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: of people talking about the way this happened. So if
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: you had asked me the morning that we found out,
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: we found out that evening, right? Whatever, so three and
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: a half years ago. We're sitting in the living room
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: and Chanel and Jared have told us, Before I tell
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: you what my response was, though, just imagine that an
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: hour before or six hours before, earlier that day, if
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: you'd said, hey, imagine that you became a grandpa. Imagine
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: if you found out today that you were going to
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: be a grandpa. What would your response be? I would
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: have downplayed it. I would have said, oh, it's a
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: bit early. I would have said, what are you guys thinking?
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I would have said, well, that's really nice, but are
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: you sure now is the right time? Do you know
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: what I mean? I would have been very practical, a
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: matter of fact, about it. And probably not that excited
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: because I think I was 48 when Indy was born,
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: which feels to me like a pretty young granddad. The
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: night that we found out, you knew, and obviously Chanel
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: and Jared knew, but none of the rest of the
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: family knew. So we were sitting down in the living
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: room and we played this game. I don't remember what
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: the game was, but we had to like complete sentences
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: or we had to do this.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I think we played charades.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, it was charades.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: It was charades.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: And they were all baby related. Yeah. Or like feeding
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: the baby a bottle or changing a nappy. Crawling. All
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: that sort of stuff. And at some point, I don't
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: remember who it was, but one of us, I'm going
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: to say it was me. I'm going to pretend that
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: it was me, but I really don't remember, yelled out, hey,
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: these have all got to do with babies. Then we
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: looked at Chanel and Jared and they spilled the beans.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: They said, we're having a baby. And I remember, your
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: question is.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: What's a moment that hit you?
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Hit me.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: That you weren't expecting?
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. I burst into tears. I stood up
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: and I was sobbing, not uncontrollably, but significantly. I'm getting
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: weepy about it just now. I don't know that I've
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: ever felt so overwhelmed with pure joy, absolute elation. And
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: like I said, if you'd asked me even 10 minutes earlier,
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: I could not have predicted that. At all. I would
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: have been like, oh, okay, well, congratulations. That's exciting for
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: you kids. No, no, I was a blubbering man. So
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: it was amazing. The other thing that strikes me is
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: when you gave birth to each of our children, I
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: was there in the labor room. I had no idea
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: how profoundly impacted I would be by watching you go
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: through those births. So that would be my responses to
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: that question.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I think. What's something about you people get wrong?
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: These are fun, easy questions. I want to say this
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: the right way. A lot of people mistake my enthusiasm
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: and my confidence and my desire to share ideas and
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: talk about research and things that we know for arrogance.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: So I remember one time we were at dinner with
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: some friends and A topic came up, whatever it was,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: and I said, there's some really interesting research on that.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: There's some research that shows that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: And off I went and I started to think. And
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: I remember the wife, she looked at her husband and
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: literally in front of me, she goes, research says, like
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: they were mocking me. And apparently it was a conversation
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: that they had had at the table before. I'll often
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: refer to research or I'll talk about the latest findings
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: or whatever it is in our conversations. And she gave
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: me a hard time and was quite mocking in the
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: way that I'm like, I'm citing people when I speak,
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: like I've got a big head, like I know stuff
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: and other people don't know it. The great irony for
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: that story is that about five years later, she had
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: started a degree. She started a degree in psychology or
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: counseling or something like that. And she came up to
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: me one time when we were getting together and she said, hey,
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: I owe you an apology. I said, what do you mean?
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: What's going on? And she said, do you remember that
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: night when we gave you a hard time because you
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: always say research says blah, blah, blah. And I said, yeah,
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: I do actually. It kind of stung a bit, if
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I'm honest. And she said, well, I really want to
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: apologize because now that I'm doing my degree, I've realized
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: that as an academic, whenever you're talking about any idea
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: that is not yours, you really do, it's appropriate to
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: attribute it to somebody else. So by saying, oh, a
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: researcher by the name of Gene Twenge or a researcher
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: by the name of Ed Deasy or Rich Ryan or
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: some University of Rochester researchers, like I was doing that
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: and she was giving me a hard time. But now
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: that she's in academia and doing her degree, she's like, oh,
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: that's what he's been taught to do and that actually matters. So, yeah,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: I get really enthusiastic. I love to share ideas, but
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: sometimes that can be mistaken for arrogance and for being overconfident.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: And as you know, Kylie, I'm so humble. I'm the
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: humblest person I know. I would win a humble competition.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: I'm so humble. I'm proud of my humility. Sorry, I'll stop.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: I'll stop.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: What's the most you way to spend a free afternoon
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: if there were no plans, no agendas? What would you do?
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you that right after the break
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: because I've just realized I'm talking. Wait, you said lightning round?
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: I don't know how many questions we've answered. You're hilarious.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: I already prefaced the fact that I was going to
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: preface the lightning round with the fact that it was
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: not going to be a lightning round. Okay.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: All right. I'll answer that question after the break because
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: we really have to take a break and I'll try
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: and answer the questions faster right after this, including my,
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: what was it? My dream afternoon.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, so we're back. What's your dream afternoon?
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: Let me try and do this quickly.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: No kids?
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: No, actually, I would definitely say kids are there, but
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: also I need to squeeze in a surf, go for
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: a bike ride, spend some time at the gym, do
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: some reading. I've definitely got to eat some food, and
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: I need time with you as well as the kids.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: I have been accused of- I did wonder how you
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: were going to answer this, and you did it perfectly.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: In no particular order. I have been accused more than
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: once in my life of trying to fit too much in.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Overachiever in every sense of the word that's my dream
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: afternoon i love it i love it what's a ridiculous
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: thing that you're weirdly great at.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like i'm very great at very many
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: things honestly um i think that i'm modestly good at
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: a number of things uh i i think that i'm
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: excellent at giving talks like i i really do i
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: i'm i'm a good public speaker that's that's a that's
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: a that's not a ridiculous thing no that's not a
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: ridiculous thing um So I'm reasonably decent at holding my
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: breath for free diving or cycling or surfing.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: You're weirdly great at stacking the dishwasher. I hate it.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: I cannot stack a dishwasher to save myself, but you,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: it's precision and the way you stack even just the
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: drying of the dishes. Yes, yes.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I'm exceptionally good at doing the dishes in the sink
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: and creating … Pyramids. Creating an incredible … wet dish
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: stack in the dish dryer. Yeah, that's true. I'm also
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: very strangely, I don't know if I'm good at it
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: or not, but I think I'm great at playing the
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: drums in the car while I drive.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: On the steering wheel.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: On the steering wheel and on the dash and on
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: the side of the car.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, you are. Yes.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: That's my answer.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: There we go. Okay. What song, if it comes on,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: puts you instantly in a good mood?
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Most music. I just, I get very excited about music.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: If I have to select something Uh, I'm going to
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: betray my 50 years. Anything by Jim Croce, Jim Croce, bad,
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: badly right. Brown operator. I got a name. I had
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: to say, I love you in a song. He is
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: just sublime. If you haven't seen him, Jim C R
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: O C E, Jim Croce, Croce or Croce. Uh, I
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: just think he's genius.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Um, diastrates.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love diastrates. Uh, okay. Okay. Okay. Um, we've
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: only got a few of the greatest showman. If you
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: want to get me excited, Put The Greatest Showman on.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's for me.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: And I've got to throw in one more. There's a
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: song by Neo and Calvin Harris called Let's Go. And
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: that is my psych song. That is my pump up song.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Okay. Only a few more questions and we've got to
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: be fast.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: We do because we're already over time.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: Tell me about a moment on the stage or somewhere
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: else that you'll never forget.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: There are two that come to mind. I know you
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: said one, but I'm going to share two. I was
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: about to give a talk on the Gold Coast to
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: some young people, some children and young people in a
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: youth talk. And I got a phone call from my mom.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: A hospital was on the way to pick up my dad.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: He'd had something going on. They thought it was a
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: heart attack. They thought he was going to die. They
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: didn't think he'd make it to the hospital. Turns out
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: he had a pulmonary embolism, but we didn't know. And
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: so I took the call about five minutes before I
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: had to go on stage. And then I still went
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: on stage and gave my talk. And I gave a
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: great talk and then got off stage and worked out
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: what was going on. That's always stayed with me. Oh,
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: the other one that is really, really powerful, actually, I'm
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: going to change my second one. I was in Canberra
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: one time and a dad put up his hand. We
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: were doing Q & A at the end of one
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: of my presentations. And this dad said to me, how
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: do I, of all the questions he usually, how do
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: I get my kids to listen? How do I get
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: my kids off screens? How do I get my kids
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: to do better at school? How do I get my
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: kids to stop beating each other up? That kind of stuff.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: And this dad just asked such a different question. And
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: it's always stayed with me. He said, how do I
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: be the father that my son needs me to be?
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: I just, I love that question. I get emotional thinking
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: about it because this guy gets it. It's like parenting
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: is not actually about the kids. It's about us. And
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: he was asking a question about how he could be
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: the best father for his son. I thought that was
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: the most just beautiful, profound. And it wasn't my moment.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: It was his, but it's always stayed with me.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: What's something you do as a dad that came straight
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: from your own dad?
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, uh, I get a bit grumpy like dad. He's
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: a little bit irritable. And, and, and I get something nice.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: I hear myself. I hear, I hear my dad in me.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: I sometimes I'll sigh. I'm like, and then I'll be like,
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: oh my goodness, my dad does that. And I don't
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: want to do that. Cause I don't want you to
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: feel like you're married to my dad. So it's really
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: important that I don't pull that one out of the
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: bag too often. I've inherited my dad's love of music.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: I can't sing like my dad. I can't play musical
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: instruments like my dad. He is just extraordinary, exquisitely gifted.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: He missed his calling in life. He, He sings and
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: people get goosebumps or cry. He's just so talented. But
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: his love of music, he passed that on to me.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: And that may be one of the greatest gifts he
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: ever gave me. I sit there and I fall in
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: love with music every time I hear it.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: What's a piece of advice you give parents that you
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: had to learn the hard way?
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: All of them.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: All of them.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: Literally all of them.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I joke when I come with you and I'm
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: selling books up the back of the room, And people
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: ask which book to get. And we'll be talking. I'll
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: just say there is hard-won wisdom in these books.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: In every single one of them.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: So each of these books is basically a story of
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: my journey to becoming a better parent. I don't make
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: it about me. It's about the principles. But I wrote
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: each book for different– this is– we don't have time
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: for this tangent, but I'll make it really fast. This
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: is why I still sell my early books. Because when
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: I look at my early books now, I'm not that
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: proud of them. Some of them I am, but some
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: of them I'm not. Some of them I'm like, oh, really?
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Is that that good? But I've had so much extraordinary
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: feedback from people who have read those early books because
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: they were the right books for them at that time. Like,
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: I'm a different person today than I was 20 years ago. Yeah,
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: I agree. And therefore, when you're at a certain part
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: in your growth and development and your learning, some books
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: are going to reach out and resonate and touch you
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: better than others. So those books, while I don't think
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: that they've got the most refined and brilliant writing and
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: the best ideas that I've ever come up with, they
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: have what many parents need for that point in your life.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: When you're only raising a three-year-old and you haven't yet
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: had a 23-year-old, then that book is the right one.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: You don't need the latest and greatest that I've written
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: because that one is actually going to touch you better.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: But yeah, every book full of wisdom won the hard way.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: There's no AI in any of my books. It's all
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: heavy-duty study and heavy-duty real-life experience.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: As we wrap this up, I'm wondering if you can
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: think of something that you're proud of that has nothing
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: to do with me or the kids.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my work. My work. I feel like, oh, hang on,
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: that has a lot to do with you and the kids,
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: doesn't it? Oh, gosh. Me? I like me. That has
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: a lot to do with you and the kids as well.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: I am who I am because of it. I think
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: that my life cannot be separated into discrete segments that
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: do not have anything to do with you and the
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: kids because you and the kids are inseparably connected to
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: everything that I do.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: That's why I love you.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: And lucky last one. Yep. What do you hope this
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: next year will hold for you?
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: More time with you and the kids, and more reach,
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: more opportunities to make a difference in the lives of parents.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: I've said from the beginning, I feel like this is
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: what I was put on the earth to do. I
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: feel like this is literally what I was born to do,
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: is to help families be happier, to help parents to
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: navigate life with tricky situations with their kids. And while
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: I sometimes say the wrong thing, or I stumble and misstep,
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: or I could be more delicate, or I could be
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: more patient and compassionate when, I mean, we just don't
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: always get it right. But Oh my goodness, if you
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: could see my heart, that's what I'm here for. That's
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: what I want to do.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Well, I know it's late, but this is a beautiful
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: tribute and celebration to the man that, well, the boy
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: that was and the man that is. And I've had
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: the privilege of being your wife now for almost three decades.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: And the thing that I love about you the most
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: is your heart. And in spite of the fact that
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: you are not perfect. You have blessed our lives immeasurably.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: So happy belated birthday.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: Thanks, hon. Thanks for the podcast. Are you sure that
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: it's not my biceps that you love the most?
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: No, it's definitely not your biceps.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: I don't really have them. Where are they? All right.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: Do you want to do the wrap up or do
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: you want me to?
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, let me read the card. Let me go. The
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Roulon from Bridge Media.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Mim Hammonds provides research and other support. If you think
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: your family will be happier because of this episode, please
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: share it. Just click a couple of buttons. It'll take
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: 20 seconds and pass it along. More information and resources
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: at happyfamilies.com.au.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: No?
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Dot com? Dot com.au.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: I can't believe you don't know our website. Dot com.au.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: And you can't read my writing. It's actually there. It
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: is there. It does say dot com.au. It's there, right?
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Okay. I don't have my glasses on.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, thanks for listening.