Latest / I Am All In with Scott Patterson / Group Therapy Part 1

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Group Therapy Part 1 · I Am All In with Scott Patterson

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I am all in. Oh, I am all in with
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Scott Patterson and I heart radio podcast Oh everybody, Scott Patterson,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I am all in. Podcasts freshened from Toronto, Canada. Yeah wait,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: how was that? Oh man? What a what a whirlwinds?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Were you doing a double job because you impressed for
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: the new show and you were doing sort of a con?
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Did the comic co? Did the Toronto Comic Con with
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: fan Expo Canada, who are most excellent. By the way,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: there Sean Gunn was there and the booth next to me.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: We crushed it and I crashed Shawn Guns panel and
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: it was hilarious. I wish the video were available. If
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: anybody has the video of me crashing Shawn Guns panel,
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: please bring it forward because it's it was. It was
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: a lot of fun. There was a ton of you.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: He crashed your kiss. You should have crashed your panel.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: He crashed my one. He crashed your kiss. That's why
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: I did it. That was the whole point. Did you
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: run out like this? Well, I ran in as if
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I was being chased by unknown assailants and I had
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: to get away from That's actually really good. Yeah, it's good.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: It's a good way to enter a room and when
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: they realized it was me, it was just a vroorious
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: joy and laughter. M oh but I played through the
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: whole scene and collapsed on stage and oh my god. Wait,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: so did you do a panel too? I did a
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: panel on Friday afternoon. Yes, and what happened? Somebody asked,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: is it like a moderator and they're mostly focused on
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Gilmore girls? Yeah? Uh yeah, yeah, but a lot of
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: it could be it could be anything. It's a it's
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: a lot of stuff. Yeah. We talked Sullivan's Crossing too,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: which debuted Sundays Gonna. I was gonna say, they must
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: be so stoked that they get it and that you're
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: reunited with Chad, Michael Murray, Chad the the Chad Master,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: mister old Spice himself. Where's the turtle neck? Better than
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: anybody I've ever seen? I thought I could wear a
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: turtle there. Wait, so did you get to see the
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: episode of Soliving? I saw it Sunday night. I did
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: the con Friday, Saturday Sunday, went to the new hotel
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Sunday afternoon, late afternoon, checked into the new you know
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: the one that the network put me up in. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: because the con was no. They cut me off because
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: I could see I've seen um Canadian press popping up
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: with Oh yeah, that's what I did Monday. All day.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: We did like thirteen hits. It was fun. Oh. Bell
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Media has a PR team and a marketing team you
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: wouldn't believe, and they we just did hit after hit
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: after hit. Did some live shows, did the Maryland Dennis Show,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: did the did the Social I was it was like
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: their version of the view. Oh okay, I was a
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: guest host. I was the fifth chair for thirty minutes
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: and we just had a blast. So is it on
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: streaming in Canada or is it on like a network
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: where it's one, No, it's on it's on CTV. Is
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: that like NBC or something. Yeah. Yeah, that's the huge
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: So they get one episode a week like like a
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: regular like a TV show as opposed to everything. It
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: is broadcast television. But they can see it also on
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: CTV dot c A. They can get okay, CTV dot
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: app app. I don't know what the heck it is.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: So did you like it? What did you think of that?
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Did I did you know? I was nervous because I'd
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: seen a rough cut and I was I was like,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: you know, and then and then Roma, Roma Roth who
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: you know created the show UM from the book from
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Robin Car The Great Car Um. You know, Roma created
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: UH from Robin car books. Virgin River the number one, right,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: the number one streaming show in the world. So I
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: guess you know what she's she knows what she's doing.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: But she you know, she edited a lot of it.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: She did the music, she did this, she did that,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: she wrote. I mean, wearing so many hats. So I'm
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: getting room service. They're coming to turn down service at
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: seven o'clock. The things coming on. I'm sure. I'm trying
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: to know these people. I'm sush I'm saying, show's coming on.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: They're looking at me. Oh, I was up way past
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: my bedtime. I had to take a pillow, stay up,
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: thanks Amy. And then room service came in. I'm watching
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: the show. I'm eating my food. It's hooking me. Everything's
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: hooking me, and so good. I know. Fifteen twenty minutes in,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I started weeping. I still crying. It got me. Yeah,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: it's it's it's really emotional. Very show. Is it funny
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: also or more drama. It's a romantic drama. The rom
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: drama they call it, but and no, it does have
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: elements of humor here and there, but it really is
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: you know, it's kind of this is USI oh woh, whoa. Yeah,
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I had to stop watching this a is Us because
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: it was I had to kept taking advil. At the
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: end of the night, I was like, I can't can't
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: cry anymore crying. Yeah, that one just parenthood did that
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: to me. But I made it through. Although the finale
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I was undone. But this is Us. It's just one day.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: I'll go back. But it was a lot. Oh gosh,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: it was so great. I was in you know, it
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: hooked me pretty quick and I just was going through
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: it and I knew the story so and it impacted
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: me in a pretty powerful way. But that and we
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: don't know when we're gonna get it. You're gonna you're
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: gonna get it, and you're gonna get it huge, and okay,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: it's gonna be a good thing. It's gonna be a
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: good thing. I can't really say anything. I've been sworn
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: to secrecy, but I think you guys, he actually is
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: sworn to secrecy because sometimes there's secrets that we he
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: lets us know, but we actually do we have no idea. No,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I don't. I haven't told my wife. She's she's she's
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: ready to bring out the baseball back. I always wonder
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: if people on the mask singer tell they're like their
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: spouse or their partner or whatever. Sometimes I think they don't, right, No,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: it's if you weren't, if you were in the CIA,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: would you tell your partner? You know what I mean,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: believe this? Guess what we're invading? We're invading PA. I've
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: always wondered if, like you're married to a CIA agent,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: do you know that and you have to do? What
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: have you watched Alias? No? Her boyfriend is literally killed
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: because she tells him that she's in the CIA. That's
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: a little confusing because she's in sort of like a
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: rogue CI. It's not the real CIA, So I don't
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: know if in the real CI. But like, no, you
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: can help when you're out, So you just lie to
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: your partner forever and say you work at a flower shop,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: you know, like meet the fuckers, Like anybody anybody see that? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Like how he's like in some kind of central intelligence agency.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: We're definitely going going on. But I just wonder nipples
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Craig can you milk mea? But I mean, I mean
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: the con was was super great because there are a
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: ton of Gilmore fans in that Toronto area. I mean
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: it was just of lines, long lines and people being
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: just great and pleasant and we know you love it too.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Oh God again Grandma's was a lot of hugs, a
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: lot of kisses, a lot of tears, a lot of
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: babies coming up. Is there a question? They mostly ask you,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: like something that everybody asks you, M Yeah, is there gonna?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Are there going to be more episodes? They want to
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: know that, yeah, And I don't have an answer. I
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: would like to know that too. I don't have an answer.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I've already written about I've already written ten new episodes
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: and it's all it's all about the wedding. I've submitted
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: them to the studio and I'm a waiting word, waiting
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: for eight years on the on the word. But should
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: we get to our therapy session? So we wanted to
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: like have one more episode where we break down like
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: all of season four, and then we'll launch season five. Yeah,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: I know, I think that's cool. I'm ready because I
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: have my most important question. Yeah, and I'm I think
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: it's really a great idea because One eleven Productions and
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: iHeart Radio are involved in this with Amy Sugarman, Daniel Romo,
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: and I like, how you did that? Scott. It's like
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: we forgot to do that twelve minutes ago. Is this
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: a new break? We just started talking. I got to
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: get the production company pop in there, you know, I can't. Yeah,
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: and intros it's like, hopefully they've no by now, but
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: I'm ready because I would say my my first question
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: that I really want to ask the therapist is why
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: does she think Rory we talked about this a little bit,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: who has always had it together right, has has for
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: the most part done the right thing, decided to go
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: so sideways? Yeah, that's my main question. And why did
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: she make the right call in saying no to jesss
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: or should she have done something different there? I think
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: she said that a good decision on her part. Yeah,
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's Yeah, I think that she should
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: have gone with Jess, not Dean. That's what I who
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: I want to dig into it is like what and
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: what's going on with Dean? Yeah? And what's in his brain?
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: But we've had her on before because we have to
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: get the fans engaged in that issue, because they're not
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: terribly engaged at all, are they? Thank you? Let's bring
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: her on. Yeah, she's great. She's a g fan, so
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: she knows everything. No one, no one really listened to
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: last week. We've had we've had um, we've had her
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: on before, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh god, I'm oh
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: it's Kim's fantastic. Let's bring her in. Hello, Kim, welcome
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: to the show. Um. We had such a great time
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: with the last time. We wanted to have you back
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: on at this crucial juncture of our journey. Hey, you
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: wanted to be a bud Gaster. Here you are. Um.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: We have a bunch of questions that fans either mailed
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: in or phoned in and left on on my mailed
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: in the post a letter to Scott. Here's another one.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: A couple were dropped off by a homing pigeon, so
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: they wanted one of the top questions. And there's you know,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: we can only whittle it down to about ten h
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: and I don't even know if we're gonna get to
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: all of those. So Laura from San Antonio wanted to
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: know what was the appropriate way for Laura La to
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: react when learning Rory and Dean slept together at the
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: end of the season finale a season four. Who let's
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: start out that one good question. It's a great question.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: And you know, when you guys were talking about it
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: on the podcast on Monday, you hit you made a
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: lot of really good points with it. Um, And I'm
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna venture on how she did react. I'll
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: say this first, how she did react. I thought she
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: reacted probably about his best as one could do. Even
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: the situation of walking in, um, walking into that scenario,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: it would have been interesting too. And I'm just you know,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: kind of looking at other options here. It would have
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: been interesting, like if it hadn't been Dean coming out,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: what if it had been just coming out, would you know,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: would her reaction be a little bit different? But if
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: you watch her in that scene, I love when you
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: guys talk about faith acting. When you watch her in
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: that scene, she's like, I don't know if she's pushing
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: something down, yeah, or something's coming up. But that was terror.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: If you saw some of that there, she looked afraid yeah, Um,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: And it was that moment and I can only guess
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm speculating here again, but I can only
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: guess it's that moment where if anybody's ever had something
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: like that, don't have to be that, but it maybe
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: somebody that you know that acts so what you think
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: is out of character, that you don't recognize me, and
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: it's really really scary. So watching her um try to
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: kind of refrain. I watched her kind of refrain. I
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: watched terrorsts are kind of refrain from everything. And when
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: you when you watch Dean, you know, first Rory comes
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: out and she's you know, she's she's still on her
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: oxytocin high from this right. And then she sees Rory
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: come out and she looks a little like, oh hey
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: what and then looking disheveled, and then her homesteen and
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: just the shock, probably some terror in there. And then
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: she doesn't even make eye contact with Dean. And then
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: as she when she when Dean leaves and they start talking,
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: m I think she's kind of at a loss for words,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: and watching Rory move into friend zone with her, watching
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: Rory moving into friends zone, and I know that I'm
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: kind of going on on this question, but no earlier,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: earlier in the episode, and that one of my favorite
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Rory lore last scenes when she's at the diner and
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: having her check out. Luke acting different. Really, that's how
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: they talk. We're used to that. Their their way of
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: communicating like that, but really, isn't that more of a
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: best friend conversation? Yeah, your daughter kind of in her daughter, Yeah,
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: and her daughters even kind of being very discerning, like you, Luke,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: this is Luke. You. You can't just get with Luke
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: and then if something happens, everything's gonna be fine. It's
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: gonna affect us, it's gonna affect the town. Really discerting
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: in that moment, And so I just thought it was
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: interesting when they go back, when Laurela has to be
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: pulled into a role that she doesn't have to do
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: very often, being a mom. Right, it's it was jarring
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: when she when she goes from best friend to mom.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: It is a little jarring, which is why I reacted
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: the way I did. But anyway, continue this is yeah,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: so true because she was so yeah, Rory was so
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: nonchalant about it. Oh we're fine, you know, sorry I
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: didn't tell you. Did you think she was like a
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: little bit sheepish? Amy when at first, like, you know,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: aren't you happy it's with somebody? That loves me very
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: like that conversation I think should have happened with Lane
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: over Laura Lee would have been would have been a
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: little probably more appropriate what what we would think. And
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: then you watch Laura Lie she can't help, you know,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: And I think we've established at this point in the show,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Laura Lae that is her person, that is her most
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: important person in the world, that is everything, that's that's
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: she revolves around her. So she's gonna care. She doesn't
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: want this for her daughter, for sure, even though Rory's
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: kind of in kind of a postcoital fantasy place again
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: with her own oxytocin high but um, she doesn't want
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: the situation because it's not that it's Dean necessarily, it's
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: where Dean is now. So you can watch her kind
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: of you can watch her kind of move in and
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: out of parents like am I gonna move in? Am
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: I gonna move out? Um, and being very concerned about,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: you know, Rory's reaction if I'm Lorilae for a minute,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Rory's reaction towards me because I want, I want to
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: say something here and I don't want her to reject me.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: So I thought it was pretty tamped down considering what
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: it could be. And I also know the things that
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: she said that I knew was going to send Rory
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: into a defense place right when she went into mother mode.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: And Scott, you had made the comment about what about tomorrow,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: you know what if they did that tomorrow? There is
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: there is some truth in that. There's even some training
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: when you know, parents learn how they're to kind of
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: manage their own neurobiology so that they're responsive and not reactive,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: and and even and I don't know, is this still
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: a thing? Amy, do you remember this where they had
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: the contract if you were drinking, you signed the contract
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: with your parent and your parent will pick you up.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: We're not going to talk about it till tomorrow. Buelerheads prevail.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: So there is something too that. And I think that
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: she still did probably about its best of a job
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: as she could given this shock of that. UM, I
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: think she did try to reel it in. And I
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: wouldn't be surprised if there weren't some Emily and Richard
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Gilmore comments that she's holding back and also this this
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: this piece too of just the human aspect of this.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: She says a couple of things that when she when
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: she says to Rory that she's, you know, again, trying
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: to shock Rory back into reality. Who is this girl
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: right now? And they're shaming And we do that sometimes
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: when someone's does something that we're so shocked by, we
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: want to shame them back into you know, what's appropriate.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: And that's a really good point, Scott. I think that
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: that you. I think you reacted to that too. That
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: you didn't there was some of that which you could
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: understand but probably could have been done better. Shaming her
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: was not the move. The longer I live, the more
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I the more harm I see people absorbed with shaming.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: And it's a real harm, and it's a long term harm.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: And it's nothing, you know, it's it's nothing than anybody
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: should take lightly. And uh, that's that's why I said
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: what I said. I almost more, I'm far more sensitive
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: sensitive to it now. I almost could hear Lorelai saying
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: you should be ashamed of yourself. She didn't say it,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: but yeah, but I'd have been a part of it.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: It's like I almost am hearing that. Why do I
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: feel like she did say that? Did she not knowed
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: to it? Yeah? Yeah, we picked it up though. I
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: think you guys are all saying, is we kind of
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: we kind of picked it up. I did pick it up.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: I have a question for you, Kim, Like, let's just
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: say you're doing like a session with Lorelei Murray. They
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: just came to you one day and they're like, we're
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: having other daughter relationship issues and they brought up this
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: this night, Like how would you help them navigate that? Well,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: now you're now you're kind of stepping into like, well,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: I don't do couples anymore. But what we what we
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: do have to do in those kind of situations is
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: trying to make it safe so that the one, you know,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: one party can speak their feelings free of the interjecting
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: of the other ones. Because really, you know, you're they're
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: trying to resolve an issue. You know, like they're gonna
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: want They're not gonna be coming in if they don't
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: want to resolve it. And truthfully, if Laura Lai can't
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: calm down enough here where Rory's coming from, she's not
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: gonna get anything from Rory or he's gonna stay in protective,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: defensive mode. This is just how we are. You know,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: we're we're If I feel ashamed, you're not gonna get
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: a lot out of me because I'm gonna have expect myself. Um,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: it's it can be. It can be a useful thing
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: and compliancy, but it's not useful in terms of making
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: connections with people. It's I'm so curious what everyone in
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: this group would have thought would have happened. If it
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: was Jess that came out, I'd be thrilled. But I thought, like,
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: absolutely thrilled. Like it was Jess, Yeah, Dean was single,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: I would be thrilled, Like you know what I mean, Like,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: it's not the fact that they had that she had
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: sex with Dean, it's the fact that she had sex
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: with Dean who is married. Yeah. And I think I
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: think that Lorala actually would have done what Scott said,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: being like, oh my gosh, and let's talk about this tomorrow.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Let's get back to the party, because it would have
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: not been It would have been something they're gonna eat
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: their popcorn and talk about tomorrow. Good and bad. There
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: would be some bad, yeah, but it wouldn't have been dramatic.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: And even if it was, if Dean wasn't married, it
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: would have If it was Dean and he just wasn't married,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: it would have been a completely different conversation. But you
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: know how many time times in our lives just to
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: take it out of this arena a little bit, But
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: how many times in our personal lives, throughout our lives
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: would we have all made better choices had we just stopped,
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: sat down, controlled ourselves, taken a couple of deep breaths,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: walked away, and not addressed it in the moment, in
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: the heat of the moment, Right, how many how many
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: blow ups did you have in your life because you
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: didn't do that? And I I think that's an important
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: skill to learn. I also think Laurla would have been
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: equally as upset in the way she was, even if
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: they hadn't had sex per se. Say, they just came
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: out of that room and they were like making out
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: and fooling around like whatever. Right, I think that's what
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: has It's the affair or the behind the back or
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: the inappropriateness of it, not that Rory decided to lose
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: her virginity. Yeah, I agree, that's yeah, It's not about
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: Laura or it's not about Rory having sex. It's about
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: the principle. The principle. Yea and Amy, you had made
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: a comment about what it means like what Laurea La
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: wants to protect her from. You know what it's it's
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: it's a married man. Yes, it's Dean, it's my Dean.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of consequences in there that Rory's not
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: seeing right now. So, like you said about just if
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: if if Laura La, and again Laura is very preoccupied.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: This is to me this was a season of transitions
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: and unavailability of what we consider kind of our stable people.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: It seems like all the main characters have something going
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: on that they're not um as accessible to each other.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: They don't feel the same level of support or But
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: but Rory is looking for like what, well, I'm getting
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: off my train of thought here, but what Rory did.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: If if Laura La would have seen maybe all of
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: the stuff that was happening that was leading up to
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: that moment, she might have intervened. Yeah, you know, just
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: questioning and and unfortunately, and I've you guys can kind
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: of give me your thoughts on this too. In the
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: four years that this has been on, as close as
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: they are to everyone in Stars Hollow, there's really not
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: another mother figure, not really no, right, Um, you know
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: you've got bad, bad and you've got, you know, some
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: other people miss Patty, but they don't really step in
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: in the you know, kind of an ant role or
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: you know, not even Suki does that and she certainly doesn't, right,
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: and Richard and Emily they don't deal with that side
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: of Rory. So there really wasn't a lot. There really
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: wasn't many other choices. Lane was preoccupied too when she
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: especially when she moved out of the dorm and uh
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: with Loralai in this circumstance, they don't have a lot
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: of She and Rory do not have a lot of
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: these ruptures in their relationship where there's a lot of
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: experience of doesn't it also make Yeah, it makes you
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: think that that episode, remember the episode where they were
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: just missing each other so much? Yeah, is more significant
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: that like she really didn't confide in her mom of
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: any of this stuff about Jess, about Dean, about feeling
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: like when everyone was kind of like you don't have
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: a boyfriend and everyone else does you know all that
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: and even even the spring breaks sort of like, yeah,
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: she didn't go to stars Hollow. She really work out, Yeah,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: guess with Colin Egglesfield well in that Dean drunk, Oh yeah,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: the drunk dying and then that what does that episode
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: call the sinking Laurela? Is? Is that the one or
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: something like that, the one that you're mentioning there. Amy
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Also that was the one where Laurie Rory was given
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: was met with the professor and he said, you know,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: I know what's going on here. You need to drop
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: a class. That's simple. Oh yeah, which for her not simple.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: She was you know, she says, I'm I'm failing. I
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: can't hand. I mean that this is where it's really
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: hitting upon her core beliefs. And so I think when
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: you brought that up, it's a really pivotal point because
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: she goes to try to find her mom because she's
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: lost and Mom's not there. She's busy, get it. You know,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: it's real world. I mean, so let's get let me,
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: let me get a definitive if there is even a
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: definitive answer to should she have left it? Should Laurela
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: have left it alone? And then brought maybe gently brought
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: it up in the morning and let and let Rory
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: just sort of settle into her experience of having lost
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: her Virginia in her own space and her own time,
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: knowing that Laurel is upset, but it's not been addressed yet.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Oh gosh, in a in a perfect world, if everybody
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: knew what to do, you know, definit you're you know,
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: you're asking me to give a definitive answer. And I'm
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: looking at these like real people right now, I'm like,
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know if there is a definitive answer on that.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Maybe if they could have said, we're going to talk
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: about this tomorrow, right, you know, but we will talk
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: about this. Maybe, um, maybe that could have been better
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: for cooler heads. But isn't it valuable for a young person,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: a daughter, eighteen year old, nineteen year old, to have
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: that time to sort of process it all at least
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: overnight and then part of part of a morning and
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: then be more prepared to sort of maybe she goes
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: to her mother and you know, offers an apology and
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: oh my god, and and and maybe you know, a
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: good parent doesn't really need to say anything if they
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: trust their child to a at the moral center. Rory
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: was so like, Rory thought it was great. I think
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: that's my only like, I agree with you. Rory would
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: have said, like Scott, I think where you're coming from
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: is right, and that if they started the conversation and
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Rory sort of oh wait, but instead she was tripling
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: down on how good of a thing this was, and
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: my only thing is Like then she would have just
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: gone off with the CDs back to the thing, thinking
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: I got a boyfriend and I had sex, you know,
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: Whereas like I think the reason why she I don't
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: know about it. I think she I think the only
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: reason she's feeling shame, if she's even feeling shame right now,
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: I don't really know, but just based off of her
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: breakdown is by calling Dean's phone. Yeah, that's the only reason.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: I think. That is what told her it's wrong, not
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: even I drove her to do that by coming down
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: on her hard. So she stormed off like I'm right,
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: you're wrong, And then she calls her boyfriend who she
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: just slept with, and his wife answers to me. That
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: was the breaking point for her because she wanted to
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: prove a point to Laureli, and Laureli was right, and
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: so yeah, I agree with you. I actually agree with you, Amia.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: It's Dean, my Dean. She was really gonna hold that
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: this is my Dean. I had him first. All her
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: sort of kind of asinine reasons. It's a she's she's
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: living in a bit of a fantasy right there. And
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: and and you know, if we looked at the reason why, Um,
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of need of avoidance of reality for
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: her right now. That's it's a really great place to
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: avoid in that kind of relationship. I wonder you know
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: when you talk about kind of stepping in a way,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: stepping away from a moment, I don't you know? And again,
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: because we don't have the value of the Laura lot
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: here telling us what she was thinking. Um, yeah, there's
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: there's always a value in being able to like cooler
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: heads prevail. I'm so curious what you all think if okay,
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: so say that's everything plays out the same way, right
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: except instead of running back to the house, Luke ran
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: back to the house to get something, or Lane came
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: to the house. What would they have said if they
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: walked in on her Luke Luke catching them, and he
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: would have no right to say anything. I think he
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: I think go back to Laura. I think the question
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: is what do you go back and tell Laura? La?
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: That is a great question, that's the question. Do you think?
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: What do you think? Well? There, you know what I mean,
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: if he doesn't, right, yeah, he's in trouble with Laura.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: If he does, he's in trouble with Rory, and then
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: he's in trouble with Laura La too. If you also
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: remember he doesn't run into the house alone at well Luke.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Also he's seen Dean out at like he was playing
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: video games and it does have the intel he does
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: in his back pocket. And what do you think Lane
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: would have said? Well, I think Lane would have been
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: like Rory, this is I mean, how was it? But question?
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: I think I think Lane would have been excited for
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: her for like five minutes and then would start asking
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: probably some of the same questions that Laurel I asked, Yeah,
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: but in a friend way. Yeah, yeah, I would love
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: to bring up I did see this note this week
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: and I thought, oh, great point, and I wanted to
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: see what everyone thinks of it. Rory did quote ruin
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: the graduation for Lourel because she was off with Jess
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: and then remember the bus she couldn't get back, blah
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: blah blah. But like this one is really again Lorelei's
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: big night, and it's sort of taken sideways again by
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: something that Roy doesn't I just thought. I don't think
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: it's intentional. I don't even think it's subconscious. I think
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: it's just a weird, wacky coincidence. But it's like, oh no,
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: I think she's used to always everything kind of being
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: about her. And I think as an only I am
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: an only child, so like your problems or your problem,
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, if that's the way
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: she's thinking, it's just my guess because like Lorelai lives
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: her life and then Rory doesn't really have a say
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: in it, you know, like she doesn't. She just goes
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: with the flow of what her mom does. Like if
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: her mom wants to open a new end, great congratulations,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Like she's not really like giving her input. Yeah, I
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: think that's true. I think Scott, you made that point
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: too about Max. It's like you could really argue that
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: that wasn't cool of Loralai, even though she's sort of
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: tried to do it the right way, like talking to
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Rory about it and doing it, but like, you know,
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: right way, and so I do see what it. Laura
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: is not he perfoundaries. Let's talk about boundaries. Although I
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: stand by that she handled that well, I do think
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: she handled the situation as a as a good parent.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: But it is a little hypocritical. There is some hypocrisy.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: So Kim in your experience, let's talk about mother daughter
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: is best friends? Is it good or bad? That is?
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: You know, this is that was really interesting And I
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: know you guys brought that up therein can lie the
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: big problem though, right, and you know, and so if
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: we're gonna take you know, if we're gonna do the
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: deep dive on this, Laura Lee had Rory at sixteen,
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: she moved, she's on her own. So even though she's
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: a mom at sixteen, she can only be sixteen years old, right,
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: you can only be sixteen years old. So when And
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I again speculating here, but I think
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: Laurel Lize book for Raising Rory, if I had to guess,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: was I'm going to not do what my parents did.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: That's the biggest thing. That's the biggest thing. And because
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: she does talk about, you know, in her you know,
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: in the in the times where she and Emily can
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: actually have it out, they don't end well, Um, she
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: doesn't feel seen, She didn't feel seen in the house.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: She talks about suffocating in the house. She feels like,
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: you know, Emily and Richard wanted her to be a
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: certain way in ignoring who she was. So it's like,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do that to my kid. So she
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: wants to make sure that Rory, Yeah, she wants to
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: make sure that, you know, Rory has a very different
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: life than she does. But one of the things that
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: happens is that when we talk about attachment theory, Laurea
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: lies a gonna be Rory's attachment. That's my safe space.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: This is where I go get comfort. This is the
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: person that's that takes care of me. This is the
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: safest place in the world. I can't I think with
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: with Loralai being as young as she was, and if
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: you look just in these four seasons now of the
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: relationships that she has. Unfortunately, I think Rory is laurelized
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: attachment and that can create a lot of problems though,
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: because it's beyond just being you know, and again, I
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: love Loralai. I do. I love lral and I think
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: she does an incredible job. And there are times where
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: there's much too much on Rory for laurelized emotional regulation, which,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: like what you guys were talking about when it came
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: when it comes time for her to be a mom,
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: there's not a lot of experience with it, right, or
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: has been such a good I'm gonna do them a
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: little air quotes here, good good kid for so long,
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: um and that's a that's another piece. But so she
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: doesn't have a lot of experience with having to be mom,
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: having to have a lot of these issues. But yeah,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: I think it can be difficult some people, you know,
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: I don't want to judge anybody out there that's done them,
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: has done a stellar job. I've known people, but in
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: that circumstance, because she doesn't have her parents, not in
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: a way that you would want her to have them,
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: And she also doesn't maybe because she was sixteen. She
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: also doesn't have these other groups of moms that they
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: can kind of write it's been with well, and she
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: has such a bad experience with the other moms, other
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: than maybe missus Kim, who's kind of you know, really
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: the other moms were like mean to her. Yeah, yeah,
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: And I think the only one that could kind of
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: fulfill that role. And we saw her at one time
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: was the lady that owned it was probably she's gone
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: the time we meet them, she's gone. She's she's always
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: look at Laura Lee, as you know, with with the
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: intensity that Rory has in the determination of getting into Yale,
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: it's almost like Laura Lie has that same intention and
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: determination to raise her daughter on her own. I agree
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: with that, do this on my own. And there's no
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: way that you know you're not going to bump into
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: some stuff with that. So with that being said, with
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: the playbook being do everything not the way my parents
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: did it, I do actually think Emily and Richard would
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: have responded the same way, though if Laura Lee cheated,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: like if they color Lie in that situation. That's why
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: I thought that it sounded so much like Emily when
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: she was laying into Rory. Amy is about to disagree,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: only because I can't because I know something that's coming
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: and so I cannot cannot bring that in. Please reduse
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: yourself from this. I think there would have been more
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: of you should be ashamed of yourself? How dare you
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: put our family name through this? How dare you embarrass
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: us this way? Like, I think there would have been
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: more of that, but the same um. I feel like
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: they would have reacted very similarly. Watch the one to
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: kind of get if you want to kind of do
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: a comparison. Um watch the one is it the first
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: season with Rory and Dean go to the dance and
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: they fall asleep and miss Patty. It's a little bit
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: different energy with Emily. It's it's a lot of you
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: did this, you ruined it. Yeah, you see, Laurel I
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: really kind of pull it back. So she wants she
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: wants to. I mean you could picture you know, right
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: because in that episode she kind of laid it on
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Rory after Emily left, but in a in a nicer way,
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: and she really did a mothering job there too. Now
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: it is jarring when she switches from best friend to mother,
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: but like, she didn't do the right thing there, ish.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: I mean, you could always criticize someone's parenting, like, but
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: you know, she does step into mother mode when it's
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: absolutely essential and it's confused, and then it becomes confusing
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: for Rory. Oh yeah, that's that's the dad. That's what
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: you guys are talking about it. You know, really has
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: been a good kid, and she minds her mom's minds
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: her moms. She minds her mom on a lot of things,
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: but when it moves into relationships stuff, she that's why
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: she hit back at that time when when when Laura
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: lines confronting her on that, she hits back. She hits
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: back with you know, what about you and dad? Yeah?
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: What about you and dad? With Sherry and all these
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: kind of things. She's defending herself at that point and
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: kind of trying to stave off the shame. Yeah, right right, Kim.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: Is there a parenting style in your experience, whether single mother,
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: single father, or you know, a two parent household, is
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: there a parenting style that produces happier, healthier, more successful
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: kids over other parenting styles. What what we're finding out
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: a lot now is you know, Scott, what you're talking
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: about is this parents learning their own neurobiology and learning
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: what's going on inside. There's always something going inside of
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: us at all times, and learning how to be responsive
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: versus being reactive. Because part of the job with the
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: parents and the child is your your child is disregulated,
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: and if you're not regulated you it's going to be
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: very difficult to help your child regulate, and so then
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: we might see stuff about you know, when you can
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: act better, you can come back in here. And I'm
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: not again I grew up hearing that, but but if
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: you can't regulate your own then it's going to be
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: put on the kid to make sure I don't do
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: anything to upset you. I think it's making me so
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: think about like that Lorelai should have said, we really
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: need to sit down and talk about this. And whether
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: it was right now or after the party or tomorrow,
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure, but really saying like, we really need
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: to sit down and talk about this because this is
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: a big deal in a lot of ways, and then
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: addressing all the feelings because they need to address that
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: she just lost her virginity, They need to address that
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: she really made a bad choice in sleeping with Dan.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: Now wait two months, like whatever you know, and really
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: sitting down and like talking it through. Do you know
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: what the eight hundred pound grill in the room is
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: for me? Regarding this entire conversation, this entire dynamic is
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: the toxicity throughout Rory's life that she has been exposed
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: to because of the tension and the war war and
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: the battles and the skirmishes and the yelling and the
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: screaming and the bad vibes between Laurela in her family
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: and Emily and Richard tell Us Kim how that affects
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: impacts a child, and that can lead to bad decision making.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: Way in the case of you know, if we're sticking
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: with this show here, I don't know. I you know,
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: you guys correct me if I'm wrong. I don't know
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: if Emily and Richard have been much of a part
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: of Laura of Rory's life until she's going to Chilton.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: You know, it's occasional Christmas. Yeah, so I don't know
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: how much they solve that. Um, there's no you know,
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: there's no grandparents there of course, um, and she's going
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: to have a perspective about them. But yeah, in in
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: a situation where there's a lot of that kind of
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: going back and forth and fighting, Well, can I draw
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: a flag on the play? I think one of the
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: things that's not good is when Laura lie says, oh,
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: I'm not speaking to your father, but you can't remember,
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: like she's sort of not talking to Christopher because of
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: all the belief that went down to Christopher. That's an
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: impossible situation to put a kid into. Yeah, so to me,
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: that really didn't help. It's like, whether it's true or not,
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: or whether she's she's definitely shouldn't say that, but it's
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: like she needs to be communicating with Christopher because he
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: is the father, and you don't say to your kid like, well,
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: he hurt me, so I'm not talking to him, but
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: you can. I won't be mad about that. Yeah, it
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: puts her in Yeah, you're right. It puts her in
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: an impossible situation because she's not the adult. And it's basic.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: It goes down to Rory has no power and no authority,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: and those in the dangerous part when you're a kid
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: who's given some sense of authority and something, just like
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: we found out, the parent can kind of lower the
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: boom and you find out all of a sudden, oh,
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: I don't have any any power and authority that that
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: can do a number on you. I you know on
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: this show, and you know, depending on how layer do
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: you want it to be. I think Lorelai does a
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: lot of right things on this show. And also, there's
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: no way if she was sixteen and she ran away,
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: and regardless of what we think about it, her character
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: had to think it was bad enough that I ran
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: away from home and I did not return, and I
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: don't I still don't really want them Richard and Emily
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: in my life at this point. Um, there's trauma there,
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: and it's unresolved. And the one thing that we will
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: see with m Laura Lai, and we'll also see it
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: with Rory too, is I'm this is this is my
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: keep everything at this cognitive level. I don't want to
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: go down to those emotions. I really want to avoid
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: those emotions. And that you know, avoiding emotions, which you
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: know we all have. We all we all have a
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: window of tolerance that we can you know, handle we
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: none of us can handle a ton of stuff. But
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: if you didn't have your parents or your caregivers help
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: you deal with those, you will find really, really inventive
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: ways to avoid this. And and so Laura is going
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: to struggle with helping Rory with some of these because
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: she doesn't know her own well. And I start thinking about, like,
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: if we look at Rory's track record with boys, it's
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: not great because we start with Tristan, who's the ultimate
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: like stud at school, but like he was doing the
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: ultimate like name calling because I like you, which back
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: in the day, remember when parents would be like, Oh,
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: he's just mean to you because he likes you. And
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: now they're like, never teach that. It's so bad, right,
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: It's got Tristan, who's like mean to her because he
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: likes her. So that's like a very bad like way
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: to start, right. Then she goes to Dean, which was
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: a pretty good first relationship, but it had its problems
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: because here comes Jess, and she's got one foot in
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: with Jess before she's even out with Dean, and it's
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: a total mess. Then she's got this guy Jess, who's
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: sort of the town hoodlum and no one likes him
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: and the bad boy and the whole thing, and her
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: mom doesn't like him, and it's all this rebelling and
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: and attractive. Right then she goes to college and she's
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: lonely and doesn't have anybody and she's struggling, can't connect
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: with her mom. Every woman knows, like you go back
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: into the well, you're like, oh, I'm feeling sad, and
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: you're either in a bag of chips or you're like,
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: who can I like? Who can I go back into
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: the well and dig out that I one time liked?
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: And then you don't even know what you're doing. You're like,
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: I like him, No, you don't. Well, and Dean. I
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: think she loves Dean. She loved Dean at one time,
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: as teenagers. She cares about him. I don't know if
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: all this stuff wasn't going on right now, I don't know.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: And you know, like you know, Amy, when you brought
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: up the other day, when you brought up you know,
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: this is why you don't date married men. If there
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: could have if Laura Lai wasn't available, and there could
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: have been maybe an aunt Amy or or an aunt
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: Danielle or Tara to kind of go, hey, this is
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: gonna be a problem. This is gonna be a problem.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: This is why Dean might have been you know, always cute,
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: but it might have been. Yeah, I don't want to
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: I don't want to go in there, but Dan, think
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: of how awkward it is with the chick at the
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: beauty counter. Sorry, you shouldn't say chick with the nice
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: girl Shane at the beauty I always forget her name,
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: and ready she's had those awkward run ins with Lindsay, Like,
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: the problem is, like you said, the oxytocin when you're
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: in this first kiss and I love Dean and he's
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: my savior, you're not thinking ahead of like, oh great,
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: now I can't go to anywhere in town. Like everything's
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: it's just a mess. You don't think ahead and go, dude,
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: wait two months. All I gotta do is say to
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: this dude, well two months and the reminder too, Rory,
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: remember you got bored with Dean that time. Yeah, that's
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: a good right now is representing home, you know, she
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: tells to Lane and they have that little conversation. You know,
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: she talks about Joe showing up and he's so he's
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: so you know, like Seafe's she said, Jess's. When she
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: talks about Jess, she's like, he's you know, he's unpredictable
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: and he's sporadic. She's wanting safety right now. That's really well,
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: everything her life has been, even though it's even though
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: it's um a wonderful thing that she's in Yale and
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: she's doing all these things, she's not feeling safe. And
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: Dean is there when Mom isn't there. They have a history,
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: there's an attraction there. He's not you know, as Luke
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: is watching, he's not super crazy about what's happening at home.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: He's always wanted Rory first. Yeah, Dean's also the one
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: that Rory left Dean and Jess left Rory. So like
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: that's important to Yeah, so I think Dean is more
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: symbolic of safety and home. But then when you put
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: in the complication of you know, the attraction, and then
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: we bring in the sex part of it too, all
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: that gets really really muddy, and that's gonna be it's
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: gonna be difficult for Laura Lai to compete with that
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: frankly too at this point. So they both they both
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: engaged in the act for all the wrong reasons, similar
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: to Laura Lai and Christopher in the first season when
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: they went to the house for dinner, they got all messy,
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: that's right, and then poor Luke was got all the paint. Yeah,
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: but it is kind of a similar pattern. So what
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: we do kind of see that similar pattern of of
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: Rory making kind of spontaneous, out of left field decisions.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: And she's young, so you know that that twenty five
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: year old fully baked brain of right where yeah about
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: there's there's six years away from having going full baked.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: And one of those things that's probably not the right
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: thing to say fully baked brain, because I know that
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: the brain is not fully formed. But one of the
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: one of the things that happened in that last bit
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: of the brain being formed is that ability to foresee
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: long term consequences. Insurance companies have known this for years.
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: I'm going to cut you off, but auto insurance. If
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: you notice, your auto insurance drops down quite a bit,
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: and if parents notice, the auto insurance drops down quite
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: a bit when you get twenty one. Yeah, okay, everybody,
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: we're gonna we're gonna wrap up this one, but get
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: ready for a part two and we will uh see
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: you real soon. Thanks for downloading. Best fans on the planet,
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: Love you, and I always remember that I am all in.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: Hey everybody, and don't forget follow us on Instagram at
• 50:19
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• 50:23
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