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How to stop going back to a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about how to stop going back to a narcissist,
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  How to stop wanting them back If you're new here, My name is Lee
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  Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of the Narcissist Code. So welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back, folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes. How do you stop wanting those
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  pesky pesker narcissists back? How do I, Lee, help me.
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  How do I stop wanting the back? How do I stop going back into
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  this toxicity? How do I stay away from them?
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  How, you know, how can I get back to loving me?
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  Yeah. If those are the questions
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  you've been asking yourself, you found the right video.
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  You truly have. So the first thing that you want
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  to do to stop going back to them.
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  Y'all is to tell yourself who they really are.
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  Tell yourself the truth about them.
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  Write it. Don't.
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  Don't just tell it to yourself. Don't just chant it to yourself
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  like a mantra. Write this stuff down.
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  You need to write it down right now.
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  Y'all if y'all not ready for passing the video.
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  I mean it's and it's Easter Sunday.
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  There's going to be. Hey, I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm.
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  I'm about to bring heat on Easter Sunday.
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  I'm about to drop some Cadbury Eggs of Truth on you right here.
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  But, yeah, you have to tell yourself the truth about them.
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  Write it down. Yeah, write down the truth about
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  them. Not who you think, not who they
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  presented to be. Not their representative.
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  Representative that you met met at the beginning.
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  Not their standing, not their proxy.
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  Who they are right the hell now. Right now.
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  Who are they right now? Why are you watching the video?
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  Why are you searching up Toxic, narcissistic abuse?
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  Why are you searching up? Why does my partner do this?
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  Why are you searching? Why does my partner give me the
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  silent treatment? Why does my partner ruin every
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  vacation? Why does my mom talk to me like
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  this? Why does my boyfriend hate me?
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  Why does my girlfriend not cheat on me and blame me?
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  Why does my party invalidate me? If you ask yourself these
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  questions, then you are here for a reason.
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  So write down who they are. Right down.
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  Why they make you feel that way. Right down.
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  Why you're watching this video. Write it down.
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  Yeah, it helps to write it down. It really, really does.
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  It helps. It helps you remember it and you
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  can you can recall it. Because when you get back into
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  these feelings, you feel like, oh, I missed this person.
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  I miss them so much I need to call them.
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  And right before you call them, your damn, your screensaver is
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  them. You said that your screensaver
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  is all the bad stuff that they've done to you.
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  Lied to me, cheated on me, Had a baby outside the relationship.
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  Beat on me, you mean financially abuses me?
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  Maybe lose all my friends and family, did all of this stuff,
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  you know, and and just in that space right there, they did all
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  of this stuff. Now they want to act the right
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  you said. Write it down this way you when
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  you see it, you can recall it and they can help you stay away
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  from them. I don't care if they call you
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  and just say, hey babe, I miss you so much.
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  And I promise I've changed. I promise that I'm going to
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  treat you better this time. I know I cheated on you 14
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  times. I know it.
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  And I hate me, too. Y'all.
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  Come on now. Come on.
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  You know what I mean. Hey, come on now.
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  Really. It just gets into that space
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  right there that you have to tell yourself the truth about
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  who they are. You really, really have to.
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  You need to tell yourself the truth.
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  Write it down so you can recall it.
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  Read it like a damn bedtime story if you need to.
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  Right before you go to bed, you got to shut your mind off and
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  you try to count little narcissists or little empaths
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  jumping over the fence and you can't fall asleep.
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  Read it. Turn around and write it.
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  Turn around and read it. Turn around and reread this
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  stuff. But there were good times too.
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  Lee, who the hell cares about the good times if they going to
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  keep me abusing you? Let's be real, dude.
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  There are good times too late. They weren't all that bad, but
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  they were bad enough. Would they forgive you for doing
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  the same thing? Hell no, they wouldn't.
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  And you know they wouldn't. They probably already told you
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  that they wouldn't tell yourself the truth, would you?
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  That's another thing you can do right there.
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  Ask yourself, would you, would they forgive me and get over the
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  stuff that I've that they've done to me?
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  No. If I did the same thing to them
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  that they did to me, would they get over it?
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  No, they wouldn't. Y'all they bringing up stuff
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  from 10 years ago, using it against you.
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  Think they going to get over something?
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  They bringing up an ex that you were with before you met them.
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  You think they're going to get over something?
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  You think they're going to forgive you for cheating on
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  them? No.
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  The hell no. Come on now.
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  Y'all Come on. Come on.
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  Clap with me like this is like a damn poetry slam about
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  narcissism. Snap with me.
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  You see what I'm saying? Snap with me.
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  You see? But you get it.
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  You know they wouldn't. So why are we telling ourselves
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  this lie that they Oh, they maybe they would.
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  They said that they wouldn't. No, they wouldn't.
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  You know who you're dealing with.
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  That's why you got to write it down, Write down the truth about
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  this person. And right now, would they
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  forgive me for doing the same thing to them that they're doing
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  to me? No.
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  Would they give me the benefit of the doubt?
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  No. Would they give me some grace?
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  No, they don't. Really.
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  Y'all they don't like. You know what I'm saying?
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  They try to isolate you from your friends and family.
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  Tell yourself the truth about who they are.
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  It helps you stay away because you know, let me show you right
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  here. I will tell you this right here.
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  And this is a this is a telltale sign that can help you out right
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  here to help you understand that this person is toxic and abusive
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  and narcissistic, right. This is a telltale sign.
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  When you've tried to leave them or if you left them before and
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  they said everything that they needed to say, they said
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  everything that you wanted to hear.
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  I've been wanting to hear this for a long time.
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  I've been wanting to say this for a long time.
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  I've been wanting to do it. You know, they they, they they
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  say it now. Why they saying it when they
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  break up with you and you don't have to tell them.
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  You broke up with them, right? And now they're saying all the
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  right things. Why didn't, why didn't they do
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  the right things while they were with you?
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  They let them. They reveal themselves.
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  That's more manipulation. They showed you they've been
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  choosing to treat you badly. They've been actively
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  participating in abusing you by choice because they can turn it
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  on and off. Why they don't turn it off more.
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  No relationship is perfect. They're going to be some bad
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  times in most relationships. They'll be.
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  Look, it's a bumpy Rd. You're going to be bumping on
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  the road sometimes, You know what I mean?
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  You're going to be having a. You're going to be on a bumpy
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  Rd. You just are.
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  That's what the type of space you're going to be in.
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  But it shouldn't be a damn drop off.
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  It should be dropping. Dropping off a Cliff.
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  Most relationships are going to have bumpy periods of time, but
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  you'll be jumping. Drop it off a Cliff.
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  No. Now they want to turn it on.
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  Hey, I'm going to go. Hey, just so you know, I know
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  you don't want to talk to me. I know.
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  I know I'm the last person. I know that I'm the last person
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  you want to hear from. But I just need you to know that
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  I'm about to go to therapy. I know I told you I've been
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  going. I know you want me to go for
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  five years and I never. I said no, I don't believe it
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  there. But guess what?
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  Magically, I believe in therapy now.
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  And I'm going to be if you don't come back to me just so there's
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  no I'm going to be better for the next person.
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  Stop telling yourself that. They're going to be better for
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  the next person. And who cares if they are?
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  How do they treat you? Turn off the narcissist TV.
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  Get your Universal. Get your Universal narcissistic
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  remote. Turn that damn TV off.
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  Turn off the narcissist TV. Don't watch their life.
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  If your friends are filling you in like a like you missed the TV
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  episode. If your friends are filling you
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  in on your toxic excess life, like you just missed an episode
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  of Keeping Up with the Kardashians or or Hoarders or
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  Vanderpump Rules or something like that, like you just like
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  tell them to stop filling you in.
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  Like, this is not reality TV. This is my life.
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  You said you have to tell. That's how you turn the
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  narcissist TV off. It's universal remote.
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  Turn your friends off the channel too.
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  Hey, block them, please. You don't want to be involved in
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  a drama because, yes, they're probably going to treat the next
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  person better because that's how they get people.
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  Yeah, that's how they get people to fall in love with them.
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  Very rarely are they going to go into a relationship like feet
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  first and treat somebody horribly, You know, Very rarely
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  are they going to go into a relationship and treat somebody
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  horribly on the first date, second date, third date.
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  It's been horrible since day one.
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  Very rarely does that happen. They're going to love bomb.
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  Most of them are. You know it's going to happen.
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  That's why I say turn off that damn narcissist TV.
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  Turn it off. Stop watching the social media.
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  You cannot heal them in the same environment that made you sick
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  and watching the same TV show over and over again that you
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  were, that that that punish you is going to make you sick.
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  You can't heal it. Yo you.
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  It's hard to grow roots. And yeah, yeah, yes, a rose or a
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  flower can grow through a crack in the concrete.
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  But I bet I'm damn sure it probably would love to grow in a
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  garden. You know, where it can get
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  watered and fed correctly. Get that, Get that.
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  Get that. Nice photosynthesis away from
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  the narcissist. You see what I'm saying?
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  Yeah. Rose can grow, grow through the
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  the crack in the concrete. But it grows better over here in
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  the garden where we can water it at.
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  You don't want to be. Like I said, you don't want to
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  be that rose in the concrete, Baby, let's get it.
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  Let me tell you how you got to empower yourselves.
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  You have to empower yourselves. Tell yourself that there's no
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  reward. There's no reward.
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  There's no, there's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,
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  you little empathetic. You little empathetic
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  leprechaun. There's no look, look, there's
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  there's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
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  There's no reward for riding through this horrible ass
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  relationship with them. There's no reward for being a
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  ride or die. It's ride or die.
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  You going to ride until you die. You should be right until you
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  die because you're going to die emotionally.
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  Every damn near everybody that's in the toxic relationship has
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  them near an emotional death. You're going to die emotionally
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  while you're in this relationships.
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  So you want to ride and you're probably not going to be.
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  Might not physically leave this earth, but you're going to
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  emotionally die. They're going to emotionally
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  take you out of here. Most of them absolutely will.
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  Tell yourself this, there's no reward for sticking with this
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  person. There's no reward for going
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  back. You know, there's no reward for
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  to keep forgiving this person over and over again if you're
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  still in a relationship. This is not me telling you to
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  leave. I'm just, I'm just trying to
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  wake you up. I'm just trying to show you the
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  show you the light. I'm literally trying to shut up.
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  I'm literally trying to show you the light.
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  I'm trying to show you the light.
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  That's what I'm trying to do right there.
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  I'm trying to help you all heal and grow and prosper because I'm
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  healing and growing and prospering.
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  I'm helping other people heal and grow.
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  So that's why it's it's wake up season.
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  Y'all. It's Easter Sunday right now.
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  I'm filming this video. It's wake up season, wake up.
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  It's time to wake up and stay woke.
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  I know people don't. Then then.
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  Then they radicalize the word woke and turn into some some
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  stupid reboot. Yes, stay woke.
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  Stay awake to these to say these people like don't go back to
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  sleep in your toxic relationship.
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  Don't let your guard down. That's how you get away from
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  these people. That's how you stop wanting them
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  back. Don't let your guard down.
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  They won't let y'all. The narcissist wants you to let
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  your guard down. Because when you let your guard
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  down, that's when they sneak in. It's like, he's got like you
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  look like a prison. You know how the prison guards
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  being the watchtower, watching for the watching for the escaped
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  prisoners and then the prison guard get distracted and then
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  the prisoner jumps over the fence?
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  That's the little narcissist jumping over the fence because
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  you got distracted. You get distracted on your
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  healing journey, you got distracted on your growth
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  journey, you got distracted on yourself, love journey.
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  You look down a little bit and that little narcissist jumped
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  over the fence and get out of there, jump back into your life.
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  You see what I'm saying? You got to stand guard at the
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  doorway to your heart. It's like, you know, like a like
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  a little. You got to build a little Moat
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  around the door, around your heart, like a castle.
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  Your heart is in a castle. You the king or you the queen,
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  You know, You the you the royalty.
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  I don't know. It's like, but that's how you go
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  yo-yo. I just want y'all to win.
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  You have to understand you. You know, like I say, even if
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  you feel like you love them anymore, love them right now,
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  you don't have to hate them to let them go.
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  You can love people from a distance.
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  Yeah, you can love people this time around.
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  This time last year, I was in Australia.
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  I was 10,000 miles away from home.
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  And I still love my wife from 10,000 miles away.
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  I still love my kids from 10,000 miles away.
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  You can love people from a distance.
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  Love travels. But if you're in a toxic
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  relationship, you can keep that distance, right?
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  It doesn't mean you have to close the distance.
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  You can keep that distance. I love you from over there.
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  You just danger to me. You hurt me.
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  You be lying too much. Stay over there.
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  You know, empower yourselves. Y'all.
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  I'm super thankful for you. I ain't going to keep you all
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  too much longer. Make sure you subscribe to the
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  channel. Like to check out my mini
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  course. I have a support group as well.
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  My support group can help you heal, help you stop going back
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  as well. The link is in the description
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  of every of every video and podcast I do.
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  It's called The Mental Healers. Thank you.
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  Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Hill.
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  This is our peace. Thank you so much for making it
• 12:54
  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
• 12:56
  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
• 12:58
  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
• 13:00
  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
• 13:03
  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
• 13:05
  here for you to purchase my kids.
• 13:07
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon, so check that
• 13:11
  out. Thank you.
• 13:12
  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.