Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / Dear Banya: Emotionally Charged

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Dear Banya: Emotionally Charged · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

0:00
Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
0:08
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
0:12
Speaker 1: Scrub a dub dub in the tub tub time.
0:17
Speaker 3: We have a Dear Bonia episode, Dear Bonya.
0:21
Speaker 4: A dear Bonya filled with those seeking advice.
0:27
Speaker 1: People without wait want do we have people with.
0:31
Speaker 2: Kids that don't invite anonymous?
0:35
Speaker 1: Yeah? We about the other law issues, weddings is a
0:42
Speaker 1: rough age, preach a men's sister.
0:45
Speaker 2: And there's more.
0:46
Speaker 5: There's more.
0:47
Speaker 2: Those are just some of the tops.
0:48
Speaker 4: So I feel like, should we just jump right in
0:50
Speaker 4: because we do have a lot of a lot of
0:53
Speaker 4: Dear Bonia's or did you have something to start the
0:55
Speaker 4: episode with?
0:57
Speaker 1: No? My advice? I think I'm feeling particularly emotional today,
1:03
Speaker 1: so my advice might be a little emotionally charged, which
1:06
Speaker 1: might be good, might be bad. We'll see.
1:08
Speaker 4: Is emotionally charged like like uh cry emotional or angry emotional?
1:13
Speaker 1: It's a little bit of both.
1:15
Speaker 2: Interesting.
1:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I tried to go to uh great yoga class,
1:22
Speaker 1: great one. I was so excited about it, looking forward
1:24
Speaker 1: to it since yesterday. Since I signed up, I'm two
1:27
Speaker 1: minutes late to my class right now, yeah today, I'm
1:30
Speaker 1: two minutes late. Oh oh okay, and all the doors
1:33
Speaker 1: are locked. Doors are locked, can't get in. Call the
1:37
Speaker 1: front desk, no one's there. Sends you to Denver their headquarters.
1:42
Speaker 1: So I just missed my class because I was two
1:44
Speaker 1: minutes late. I was so irritated too a place to open, Yes,
1:49
Speaker 1: but they apparently locked the doors once the instructor goes
1:53
Speaker 1: into the class as so that no strangers can just
1:55
Speaker 1: be like roaming around in the studio. I'm like, well,
1:58
Speaker 1: they got to have somebody at the front desk gives
2:00
Speaker 1: you a five minute grace period. I'm sorry a few
2:02
Speaker 1: minutes late. You could see me on the videos outside
2:05
Speaker 1: of sor being like hello, like knocking.
2:08
Speaker 2: Here's the thing.
2:09
Speaker 1: Normally, if I was not emotional like I was Zack
2:11
Speaker 1: i am today, I would be like whatever, I'll go
2:13
Speaker 1: on a walk or something. But I was fired up.
2:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, here's the thing.
2:17
Speaker 4: I understand that when there's a specific time and people,
2:20
Speaker 4: you know, people are going somewhere, But I do think
2:23
Speaker 4: LA specifically, there's so much congestion and traffic here that's.
2:27
Speaker 2: Arming Parting three.
2:29
Speaker 4: I know, but I'm saying five minutes over, even if
2:32
Speaker 4: they start with the stretch before you get there right,
2:35
Speaker 4: which I know people are gonna be like, no, like
2:37
Speaker 4: you should plan accordingly and get there early enough to
2:40
Speaker 4: be on time.
2:41
Speaker 2: But and I do, Yeah, but some things are not
2:45
Speaker 2: your day.
2:45
Speaker 1: And build my coffee all over the table, so sweaped
2:50
Speaker 1: it and I was cleaning it and I knew I
2:52
Speaker 1: was gonna be late. Oh yeah, I'm like wound up today.
2:58
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, a little nervous.
3:01
Speaker 1: Red lightleyread lightly.
3:03
Speaker 4: Fred Lightley Easton, do you want to be our dear
3:07
Speaker 4: Bonia reader today?
3:08
Speaker 6: It would be an honor to be the reader today.
3:10
Speaker 6: I can read and I'm excited to show that off today.
3:14
Speaker 6: This is from anonymous Hi, Mark Easton, Becca and Tanya.
3:18
Speaker 6: I'm struggling. I have had a core group of three
3:20
Speaker 6: friends since I was in fourth grade. I'm thirty four now.
3:23
Speaker 6: We've all taken different paths in life, but we still
3:25
Speaker 6: make time for each other once a week for bar trivia.
3:28
Speaker 6: My struggle is that I feel jealous that my friends
3:30
Speaker 6: with children hang out all the time and naturally include
3:32
Speaker 6: each other in plans. I've gone to soccer games, birthday parties,
3:35
Speaker 6: et cetera. But I still don't get the immediate invite.
3:38
Speaker 6: I know that this is just a natural course of life,
3:40
Speaker 6: and my partner and I are happily child free, but
3:43
Speaker 6: it still doesn't take away the sting when I get
3:45
Speaker 6: a pity invite because the event was talked about around me.
3:48
Speaker 6: How do I let this go and not let it
3:49
Speaker 6: affect me as much as it is. I love my
3:51
Speaker 6: friends and I know they're not being malicious, but my
3:53
Speaker 6: feelings are still always hurt.
3:55
Speaker 7: Thanks everyone.
3:56
Speaker 6: I'm currently catching up on old episodes and I just
3:58
Speaker 6: listened to Goals about twenty twenty. The whole time I
3:59
Speaker 6: was like, Oh, guys, you have no idea what's about
4:02
Speaker 6: to come.
4:04
Speaker 8: To that?
4:05
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is so hard because I I kind of
4:11
Speaker 5: feel like I'm about to enter into this base of life.
4:15
Speaker 5: So I think Anonymous, give me about a year and
4:18
Speaker 5: I will joining. Yeah, we're joining you on nearbar trivia nights,
4:23
Speaker 5: let me go anywhere. I think that there is just
4:28
Speaker 5: an ease of making plans when you're in the same
4:32
Speaker 5: phase of life with people, like when you have kids.
4:35
Speaker 5: I think it's just this natural thing to want to
4:39
Speaker 5: have each other, for the kids to do their thing,
4:41
Speaker 5: and for the moms to kind of have a break
4:43
Speaker 5: from being alone.
4:45
Speaker 2: With the kids.
4:46
Speaker 4: And I think you're totally valid for it to hurt
4:49
Speaker 4: your feelings because it's a it's a shift in your
4:51
Speaker 4: dynamic when you all you all at one point were
4:54
Speaker 4: single and doing whatever you wanted to do, and then
4:56
Speaker 4: you probably moved to where you all had partners, but
4:58
Speaker 4: you still had the freedom to like meet up and
5:00
Speaker 4: do whatever you do. But when you have kids, there
5:02
Speaker 4: is like this shift. I think that happens big time.
5:05
Speaker 4: And I think that you show up for your friends.
5:09
Speaker 4: I think you be the friend that you are to them.
5:12
Speaker 4: And I also think that this is a time where
5:14
Speaker 4: maybe you find people who are in the same same
5:17
Speaker 4: season of life as you, so that you're creating friendships
5:20
Speaker 4: where you're feeling seen and validated by people who are
5:26
Speaker 4: aligned with where you're at as well.
5:28
Speaker 2: And I think you.
5:29
Speaker 9: Can do both of those because I because I don't
5:33
Speaker 9: think when all of your friends are hanging out having
5:36
Speaker 9: mom time that they're they're probably like, she doesn't want
5:39
Speaker 9: to come hang out with the kids, the screaming babies
5:41
Speaker 9: or whatnot.
5:42
Speaker 2: You know, That's what I think.
5:45
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, I'm kind of dealing with this, Like
5:49
Speaker 6: we we had a group, big group of friends we'd
5:51
Speaker 6: always go see the Marvel movies on Opening night. And
5:54
Speaker 6: then they've all had kids, and you know, they can't
5:57
Speaker 6: go see movies all the time anymore. But I still
6:00
Speaker 6: invite them all every single time, and they always almost
6:03
Speaker 6: always say no, but sometimes they don't. But I still
6:05
Speaker 6: want to be like, hey, just because you you know,
6:08
Speaker 6: just because like you your schedules and it is open,
6:10
Speaker 6: that doesn't mean I still don't want to hang out
6:12
Speaker 6: with you.
6:12
Speaker 8: Yeah, Also they invite you to things, Yeah, they do,
6:17
Speaker 8: but I don't I personally, I don't take it personally
6:20
Speaker 8: when like I find out that there was like some
6:22
Speaker 8: soccer game, I didn't get invited some kids soccer game, because.
6:25
Speaker 1: Like, I don't really I feel like she should raise
6:26
Speaker 1: the issue that like, because I think sometimes what people
6:29
Speaker 1: do is they think you don't want to come or
6:32
Speaker 1: be there because you have kids. Because I feel like
6:35
Speaker 1: when my life went from super single to stepmama two kids,
6:40
Speaker 1: it was pretty jarring because it was like I had
6:43
Speaker 1: all the time in the world and then when now
6:46
Speaker 1: I have two kids that I have fifty percent of
6:48
Speaker 1: the time, and I feel like when we have the kids,
6:52
Speaker 1: we do one sort of thing, and when we don't
6:54
Speaker 1: have the kids, we do another sort of thing because
6:56
Speaker 1: I never thought that, like my friends would want to
6:58
Speaker 1: also hang out with the kids all, so you know
7:00
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like your mind just goes there. Yeah,
7:03
Speaker 1: so maybe your friends aren't including you because I think
7:05
Speaker 1: that you wouldn't want to. So I think you should say, like, hey,
7:09
Speaker 1: I still want to come, even though I don't have kids.
7:10
Speaker 1: I'd love to, Like I want to come, and I
7:11
Speaker 1: want to be invited, and I'm sure they'll invite you,
7:15
Speaker 1: and then you just like take it from there, because
7:17
Speaker 1: I think that's what happened, is like I think I've
7:19
Speaker 1: really like segregated, like, oh, we have the kids this weekend,
7:21
Speaker 1: we can't do this and we can't do that, Whereas
7:24
Speaker 1: like now I'm like, no, okay, we can get a
7:25
Speaker 1: sitter for them, Like it's okay. You know, it's also
7:28
Speaker 1: okay if Robbie stays home and I go out that
7:30
Speaker 1: type of stuff. So maybe they're just not inviting you
7:33
Speaker 1: because I feel like you don't.
7:36
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think there's that, And I also just
7:39
Speaker 4: think it's a different I mean, maybe they maybe there's
7:42
Speaker 4: a feeling of you know, what do we talk like
7:47
Speaker 4: I think when you have kids. Everything revolves around kids, yes,
7:51
Speaker 4: So I think when you bring someone in who doesn't
7:53
Speaker 4: have kids, it kind of probably feels awkward about like that.
7:56
Speaker 1: All the time. But I'm with my friends that have
7:58
Speaker 1: like little kids, it's always like do we keep progression?
8:01
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I have no idea what any of
8:03
Speaker 1: this stuff is.
8:03
Speaker 2: And they're all going through that.
8:05
Speaker 4: So they they like need each other and have each other,
8:07
Speaker 4: and they're probably like probably what Tanya said, like they
8:09
Speaker 4: don't want to burden you.
8:10
Speaker 2: They want to feel like you have to show up
8:12
Speaker 2: and be around the kids. If you're that's not what
8:14
Speaker 2: you want.
8:15
Speaker 4: And also they may just be like, what do we like,
8:17
Speaker 4: We're all we think about and talk about are the kids,
8:20
Speaker 4: and like, she's gonna be so bored.
8:22
Speaker 1: It's funny that you say that, because I too, I
8:25
Speaker 1: feel like that person. When I'm around people that have
8:28
Speaker 1: small kids. It's like they're always talking about that and
8:30
Speaker 1: I'm a part of the conversation. It's like, I don't
8:32
Speaker 1: want to talk about sleep regression, do you know what
8:35
Speaker 1: I mean? And I'm like, I want to be very
8:37
Speaker 1: mindful when I have god willing a baby to not
8:43
Speaker 1: be that person.
8:43
Speaker 3: Do you know?
8:44
Speaker 1: What I mean, like, I don't want to just come
8:45
Speaker 1: to you and just be like, oh my gosh, my
8:48
Speaker 1: baby's Like.
8:50
Speaker 4: It's gonna happen though, which is so normal because it's
8:53
Speaker 4: just like you're that's you're eating, sleeping, and breathing this
9:00
Speaker 4: new child, you know, Like that's just I think where
9:03
Speaker 4: you're at at that time in your life.
9:05
Speaker 1: Am I going to be that person?
9:06
Speaker 2: I think everything?
9:07
Speaker 1: Am I going to be that person? Yeah?
9:08
Speaker 4: And I think every single person who before they had
9:11
Speaker 4: a baby, they're like, I don't want to be that
9:12
Speaker 4: person that only time. I just think it's so natural
9:15
Speaker 4: that that's what happens, not in a bad way. And
9:18
Speaker 4: I'll be so happy to hear about the sleep progression
9:20
Speaker 4: and what can I do to help? And then I also,
9:24
Speaker 4: I do think it's gonna I'm really gonna lean on
9:27
Speaker 4: other people during those times because I don't think y'all,
9:31
Speaker 4: my friends who are having children are gonna have the
9:33
Speaker 4: capacity that they once had for at least a certain
9:37
Speaker 4: amount of time, you know, So Anonymous check back with
9:43
Speaker 4: me here in about a year and.
9:45
Speaker 2: Will shit chat.
9:47
Speaker 4: But I also, like I said, I think if you
9:50
Speaker 4: want to say something to them, like hey, I'd love
9:52
Speaker 4: to be a part. I love hearing about your kids'
9:54
Speaker 4: lives and what's going on. I just I love you guys,
9:57
Speaker 4: and I want to hang out with you, whatever that
9:58
Speaker 4: looks like.
9:59
Speaker 2: But I also.
10:00
Speaker 4: Think it's okay to find people who are in the
10:02
Speaker 4: same season of life as you.
10:05
Speaker 1: But don't like replace them with these new season friends.
10:09
Speaker 1: Let's just make that very clear. I don't want to
10:12
Speaker 1: replace no friends with these new on childless friends.
10:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, no replacing, just supplementing. Yes, sure, I want to
10:23
Speaker 3: make that clear.
10:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Yeah.
10:40
Speaker 6: We have another anonymous email a different person. I assume Becka,
10:44
Speaker 6: Tanya Mark and Easton. I have been a scribber since
10:46
Speaker 6: day one and I love your podcast. My husband and
10:49
Speaker 6: I have been married for ten years and together for
10:50
Speaker 6: thirteen years. My husband is forty three and I'm forty one. Recently,
10:54
Speaker 6: my husband has a stroke and was in the hospital
10:56
Speaker 6: for fifteen days. I stayed every day and night with him.
10:59
Speaker 6: He's doing much better now. He's an only child. His
11:02
Speaker 6: parents were very helpful during this time. Our daughter stayed
11:04
Speaker 6: with them and took care of our dogs because they
11:07
Speaker 6: weren't able. He has now been home for three weeks.
11:10
Speaker 6: His mother is inserting her opinions daily regarding his progress
11:13
Speaker 6: and decisions that we've made regarding his care and recovery.
11:17
Speaker 6: She doesn't agree with all our decisions. I recently had
11:20
Speaker 6: my cup full of her and the opinions and confronted
11:22
Speaker 6: her about it. I told her that we appreciate the help,
11:24
Speaker 6: we couldn't have done.
11:25
Speaker 7: It without them.
11:26
Speaker 6: However, we no longer need any assistance and I have
11:28
Speaker 6: his karen needs handled. I've been a nurse for over
11:30
Speaker 6: twenty years and his mother's also a nurse. She proceeded
11:33
Speaker 6: to tell me when I confronted her that she feels
11:35
Speaker 6: like she has to interfere because she doesn't feel like
11:37
Speaker 6: I'm doing enough and I don't act like I care
11:39
Speaker 6: to keep the peace. I did not say anything further
11:42
Speaker 6: to her and just ended our conversation. I'm livid and
11:44
Speaker 6: very hurt, as is my husband, but I don't want
11:46
Speaker 6: to push further because his parents are not in the
11:48
Speaker 6: best health and my husband now has his medical issue
11:51
Speaker 6: and does not need any added stress. Please help. I'm
11:54
Speaker 6: not at all sure how to handle this. My mother
11:55
Speaker 6: in law has always been difficult to get along with,
11:57
Speaker 6: and I feel like she never liked me. H.
12:00
Speaker 7: It's tough.
12:01
Speaker 2: It's so hard.
12:02
Speaker 4: I'm so happy that your husband is doing well. And
12:06
Speaker 4: on the mend, I think that this is one of
12:11
Speaker 4: those things where you show up for your husband. You
12:16
Speaker 4: be the best wife, best nurse, best mom you can
12:19
Speaker 4: be during this time, and don't I think this is
12:24
Speaker 4: a very sensitive time because it's your husband, it's the
12:27
Speaker 4: person that you love, the father of your child. But
12:31
Speaker 4: it's also her son, her only son, so she's probably
12:35
Speaker 4: had a lot of high stress and like worry about
12:39
Speaker 4: his health and having to making sure that he's cared
12:42
Speaker 4: for as that's her only child, probably been her focus
12:45
Speaker 4: her whole life. It's probably very hard for her like
12:48
Speaker 4: let go of that control to someone else when he's
12:51
Speaker 4: going through something like this medically. I also think that
12:55
Speaker 4: you can't control how she acts, what she says, what
12:59
Speaker 4: she does. And I think you you've said what you
13:03
Speaker 4: needed to say, You've said what you need to say.
13:05
Speaker 4: You keep showing up for your husband, be the be
13:08
Speaker 4: the wife that you are, and let her be and
13:13
Speaker 4: do what she's going to do.
13:15
Speaker 1: I was just listening my algorithm. My algorithm on reals
13:19
Speaker 1: is like giving me these like marriage videos one on
13:22
Speaker 1: one or whatever, and I found this to be very
13:24
Speaker 1: interesting because I never thought of it this way. But
13:26
Speaker 1: they say, when you get married, that becomes your family,
13:31
Speaker 1: and you're I don't want to say your old family,
13:33
Speaker 1: but the family that you came from, that becomes your
13:34
Speaker 1: extended family. And I never looked at it that way,
13:38
Speaker 1: like I've never thought of it like that is you,
13:41
Speaker 1: that's now, that's your family, that's your first family, and
13:44
Speaker 1: then everybody else is your extended family, right, And it
13:48
Speaker 1: really hit me because I feel like I have never
13:52
Speaker 1: birthed a child, so I don't know what that love
13:54
Speaker 1: is like for your child. I have a dog that
13:58
Speaker 1: I love and say a lot, so I imagine it's a
14:02
Speaker 1: hundred times at which I feel like is an insane amount. Yeah. Yeah,
14:07
Speaker 1: So I imagine that your mother in law is just
14:09
Speaker 1: feeling that way because she's seeing, you know, a stroke
14:12
Speaker 1: is very scary, seeing her son in a very scary,
14:14
Speaker 1: vulnerable situation. So she might be like talking out of
14:16
Speaker 1: emotion and having these emotions. It's not right that she's
14:19
Speaker 1: letting the bat on you, but she also needs to
14:22
Speaker 1: take a step back and know that like you are
14:25
Speaker 1: his family, you are his caretaker now, not as a caretaker,
14:30
Speaker 1: but like you and him make the decisions, not her,
14:33
Speaker 1: And I think that you need to have that conversation
14:37
Speaker 1: in a very loving way, not in like a bitchy way,
14:40
Speaker 1: not in like a get out the way, but in
14:43
Speaker 1: a you know, this is my this is my husband,
14:46
Speaker 1: this is my family. If I want to do and
14:48
Speaker 1: I will do everything to take the best care of him,
14:50
Speaker 1: I need you to like let us lead this and
14:53
Speaker 1: if you want to help and you want to support,
14:55
Speaker 1: you can, but please ask us what we need and
14:58
Speaker 1: not just interject and like give your opinion, because this
15:00
Speaker 1: is hard enough. We don't want to add stress onto
15:02
Speaker 1: his plate.
15:03
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm.
15:04
Speaker 1: I think you just have to have that conversation.
15:06
Speaker 4: I agree, And I think there's a way of being
15:08
Speaker 4: like we're so which it sounds like it sounds like
15:11
Speaker 4: she did say like we couldn't have done it without you,
15:13
Speaker 4: were so grateful, But I think it's really I think
15:15
Speaker 4: she wants to feel needed as especially as a nurse
15:19
Speaker 4: and being like a.
15:20
Speaker 1: Part of the tasks. He loves masaball soup. Can you
15:23
Speaker 1: make he loves?
15:24
Speaker 4: I'm saying like, yeah, do it in a way where
15:26
Speaker 4: you can still make her feel like she can contribute
15:29
Speaker 4: and help but also just be like, you know, we're
15:32
Speaker 4: making the decisions together, he and I and we love
15:37
Speaker 4: you and we're so grateful for you. But you know
15:38
Speaker 4: we're we're doing this the way that's best for us.
15:41
Speaker 1: But you know what's interesting the very last sentence, she said,
15:43
Speaker 1: I feel like she has never liked me. That says
15:45
Speaker 1: a lot.
15:46
Speaker 4: That's total, I mean totally. They've been together, I think
15:49
Speaker 4: married for thirteen years or together a lot. But I
15:52
Speaker 4: think that that's why you you don't have to like
15:54
Speaker 4: overdo it. But I think we're the things that you
15:56
Speaker 4: know that she can contribute that's not going to like
15:59
Speaker 4: over step her boundary for you. I love he loves
16:03
Speaker 4: your famous soup, he loves this meal, Like would you
16:06
Speaker 4: mind or like could you take our daughter for a
16:09
Speaker 4: few days, like over the weekend. Just things that she
16:11
Speaker 4: can contribute where you don't feel like she's overstepping.
16:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she can still feel a part.
16:19
Speaker 7: That's I mean, you guys said, I think that's great advice.
16:22
Speaker 1: It's like my mother in law, my future mother in law,
16:24
Speaker 1: she's like, loves rob obviously, she loves she has two sons.
16:28
Speaker 1: She like is obsessed with them, and she would want
16:30
Speaker 1: to do anything for them. So like I could see this,
16:32
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I could see her just
16:33
Speaker 1: like wanting to help, and I could actually see myself
16:35
Speaker 1: having that conversation with her and asking, you know, like
16:39
Speaker 1: she she's very good about like she she I think
16:42
Speaker 1: her love language is like food. So I think if
16:44
Speaker 1: I gave her a task, like it'd be really helpful
16:45
Speaker 1: if you could like make us dinner tonight tomorrow or
16:47
Speaker 1: you know whatever. Like I think she would really like
16:50
Speaker 1: thrive on that.
16:51
Speaker 2: I think that's good.
16:52
Speaker 7: Yeah.
16:53
Speaker 6: Yeah, Whenever people are like what can I do to help?
16:55
Speaker 7: What can't do?
16:56
Speaker 3: It?
16:56
Speaker 6: Like, it is helpful if it's like a specific thing,
17:00
Speaker 6: especially with someone like that, just tell them what you need.
17:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right.
17:04
Speaker 6: This one's from Melissa Wedding X. We're gotting in too
17:07
Speaker 6: the World of wedding X. This is a question for Tanya,
17:10
Speaker 6: now that the wedding is getting close. What are some
17:12
Speaker 6: of your wedding X or things you absolutely wouldn't do
17:15
Speaker 6: at your wedding. I'm also planning a twenty twenty five wedding.
17:17
Speaker 6: Congratulations and a few of mine are vendors not posting
17:21
Speaker 6: a price range for their services on their website. I
17:23
Speaker 6: don't want to waste your time, and I want you
17:25
Speaker 6: to waste mine giving your friends and family a bunch
17:27
Speaker 6: of junks. This is Bridesmaids Sister mob. Oh controversial opinion.
17:33
Speaker 6: I get the ick with grooms wearing a boot and
17:35
Speaker 6: ear that's hanging flopping around on their jacket, So my
17:37
Speaker 6: groom will not be wearing one.
17:40
Speaker 7: Becky and East I thought we were X.
17:42
Speaker 6: I was like, oh no, what did I do to Melissa,
17:45
Speaker 6: Becky and easton any thoughts on these things? Can't wait
17:47
Speaker 6: to see a the pictures and hear about your big day,
17:49
Speaker 6: Love you all.
17:50
Speaker 1: You know what's so funny is like, I guess I
17:54
Speaker 1: wouldn't consider them as X. I'm just like doing what
17:57
Speaker 1: I want, do you know what I mean? The Floris
18:02
Speaker 1: asked us about bootoneers and I was like, no, I
18:06
Speaker 1: don't want that, Yeah, but I didn't. I never thought
18:09
Speaker 1: it was like an ick.
18:10
Speaker 2: You know why didn't you want it?
18:13
Speaker 1: I don't want anything living on him.
18:16
Speaker 7: I don't want It's an interesting way to put it.
18:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't need like a living thing like
18:24
Speaker 1: on his Less is more.
18:26
Speaker 2: Okay, you know, okay? Anything else are you doing? Like
18:30
Speaker 2: the garter toss and stuff.
18:31
Speaker 1: We're not going to do the garter toss. We are
18:33
Speaker 1: gonna do the okay toss maybe Yeah, I don't know.
18:39
Speaker 4: I don't know what about are y'all doing uh like
18:44
Speaker 4: daughter father dance all that stuff?
18:47
Speaker 2: Okay? Yeah, are you like doing something blue?
18:53
Speaker 7: Oh?
18:54
Speaker 2: Yes, I told you that I'm setting you up to.
19:00
Speaker 1: Something blue. Was actually really sweet. Probably made it for
19:02
Speaker 1: me and it's.
19:03
Speaker 3: Just like it's really really sweet. It's very very creative. Yeah,
19:08
Speaker 3: you'll share that later, I guess.
19:10
Speaker 1: But I don't have something borrowed or something old.
19:16
Speaker 2: Maybe does your mom have any jewelry something you could wear?
19:19
Speaker 2: My jewelry is spoken for an anklet in the Engli.
19:24
Speaker 1: She says, yeah, I don't know. I feel and then
19:28
Speaker 1: like also with the vendors we got, you know, because
19:33
Speaker 1: we're doing a destination wedding, we just reach out to
19:36
Speaker 1: our hotel and are using all the people that they
19:39
Speaker 1: use for their events, Like we literally didn't like, I
19:42
Speaker 1: didn't look at any other rental company. I'm using the
19:45
Speaker 1: one they recommended. I didn't look at any other music company.
19:48
Speaker 1: I'm using the ones they recommended. Uh, I'm like bride Chilla.
19:53
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're more chill than anticipated really.
19:57
Speaker 2: Yeah.
19:57
Speaker 1: I mean I'm like I am and then I'm not
19:59
Speaker 1: because I'm like constantly stressed.
20:01
Speaker 9: M m.
20:02
Speaker 1: But I feel like I've been pretty chill, yeah considering.
20:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know.
20:07
Speaker 6: It's crazy about the vendor thing. And I think we've
20:09
Speaker 6: talked about this, but like I was looking at venues
20:14
Speaker 6: to do the East Awards live and more about that later,
20:17
Speaker 6: but I would I was getting quotes for like event
20:20
Speaker 6: spaces in Los Angeles and astronomical, but I noticed that,
20:26
Speaker 6: like I called a place where a friend of ours
20:28
Speaker 6: got married, and I was like, oh, that that'd be
20:30
Speaker 6: cool to do the show there. And it was the
20:32
Speaker 6: same amount of time, the same like like a Saturday night,
20:36
Speaker 6: and for me to do my stupid award show would
20:38
Speaker 6: be it was half the cost that they paid for
20:41
Speaker 6: if you say wedding, that they just jacked the price
20:44
Speaker 6: up like crazy. So my hacker went out there getting married.
20:47
Speaker 6: Anytime your booking these things to say we're throwing an event,
20:50
Speaker 6: don't say wedding. I feel like that just inflates the
20:53
Speaker 6: price by such a significant margin.
20:55
Speaker 7: It's so crazy.
20:58
Speaker 1: That is good to know. The two things that that
21:01
Speaker 1: I'm still very stressed about it. We don't have a videographer.
21:05
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, I know. Should we Yes, I'm.
21:09
Speaker 2: Very stressed about that one. Okay.
21:11
Speaker 1: And we don't have a photo booth. I like totally
21:13
Speaker 1: forgot about that because I feel like I've been seeing
21:16
Speaker 1: them very much lately as of late. Photo booths. Do
21:19
Speaker 1: we like them? Do I need one?
21:22
Speaker 2: I mean people love a photo booth?
21:24
Speaker 4: Do? I feel like people love going and taking photos?
21:26
Speaker 4: But I don't think it's like something to stress over.
21:30
Speaker 4: Like I think if you're able to find one, or
21:31
Speaker 4: your or your wedding planner can find one fun and
21:34
Speaker 4: it's like a reasonable price. If it's crazy and astronomical
21:37
Speaker 4: and like difficult, I want it stress over.
21:39
Speaker 1: Like wouldn't you rather like my professional photographer take like
21:42
Speaker 1: bomb photos.
21:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you don't get this for a while, so
21:45
Speaker 2: it's fun.
21:45
Speaker 4: To like, you know right away. Yeah, but again I
21:49
Speaker 4: don't unless you find something that you love.
21:51
Speaker 2: I want to stressed about that.
21:52
Speaker 1: And then we like decided against a cake, like a
21:55
Speaker 1: wedding cake, because again cakes like six thousand dollars and
21:57
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh wow, for what I could make this
22:00
Speaker 1: in my backyard, please do that?
22:04
Speaker 3: Do it?
22:06
Speaker 1: So then because the desserts that we are serving are
22:09
Speaker 1: like when I tell you this chocolate, uh, I don't
22:13
Speaker 1: even know what it is. It's like basically chocolate ganache,
22:16
Speaker 1: like hazelnut dessert. It's the most incredible thing that I've
22:19
Speaker 1: put in my mouth in my life. Is it's better
22:22
Speaker 1: than that gluten free pizza and the gluten free bonza
22:24
Speaker 1: that I was telling you about is so good. Anyways,
22:26
Speaker 1: we decided on these like two desserts, so we're like, well,
22:28
Speaker 1: deserve these diserts because they're actually delicious. But now I'm
22:31
Speaker 1: regretting it that, like we're not gonna have a photo
22:33
Speaker 1: to like cut our cake? Do I need that? I
22:37
Speaker 1: think I need that.
22:38
Speaker 2: You get a small one at least to cut it. Yeah,
22:40
Speaker 2: I know, I like, you don't need like a four
22:43
Speaker 2: tier cake.
22:44
Speaker 1: It wasn't even a four I think it was like
22:45
Speaker 1: a two tier six thousand dollars maybe three something like
22:49
Speaker 1: those up there.
22:51
Speaker 2: That's crazy.
22:52
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe they can bring one from the States.
22:55
Speaker 4: No, maybe they can't say it's not Maybe they can
22:58
Speaker 4: say it's not for a wedding.
23:00
Speaker 1: Are you flying out with us?
23:01
Speaker 4: Me?
23:02
Speaker 1: Robbie, Oh wow, it's gonna be not gonna need to
23:04
Speaker 1: wear a GoPro for that, because between my wedding dress,
23:08
Speaker 1: my dog.
23:10
Speaker 4: Yeah, and Becca and Robbie, I think I'm gonna be
23:12
Speaker 4: in charge of one or the other.
23:14
Speaker 1: Probably the dress, Yeah, definitely the dress.
23:19
Speaker 6: We have to go to a break. But I just
23:20
Speaker 6: want to stand up for botaneers really quick. I had
23:21
Speaker 6: a boot near at my wedding and I demanded the
23:24
Speaker 6: biggest and more stornate boutaneer the florist has ever done.
23:27
Speaker 7: Wow, And that thing was a monster, and I loved it.
23:30
Speaker 1: You had a living thing on you.
23:32
Speaker 7: A large living thing.
23:33
Speaker 6: It was basically another bouquet just on my jacket, and
23:37
Speaker 6: I thought it was so cool.
23:38
Speaker 7: I loved it. But that was twenty seventeen. It was
23:41
Speaker 7: a different time, different times, different world out there.
23:43
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty five is minimalist? Minimal Is that.
23:47
Speaker 2: It you're leaving? We're going on break with that.
23:50
Speaker 3: That quote minimal twenty five is they're the minimalist bride,
23:55
Speaker 3: the minimalist bride.
23:56
Speaker 9: Bro.
23:56
Speaker 2: All right, we'll be right back.
23:57
Speaker 1: Nothing minimalist about the.
24:16
Speaker 2: All right, we are back.
24:20
Speaker 7: Well, here's another one from Haley. Thank you.
24:23
Speaker 6: Slash twenty five is a rough age. That's what uh,
24:25
Speaker 6: that's why we've summarized this. Hi, Beckatania Markinisten, your recent
24:29
Speaker 6: episode No Lufa, No Sponge made me feel so seen.
24:32
Speaker 6: While I am most definitely a Tanya, I started following
24:34
Speaker 6: beck after watching her journey on Ben's season, and I've
24:37
Speaker 6: been faithfully listening to scrubbing in since day one.
24:40
Speaker 7: Wow, Wow, thank you.
24:42
Speaker 6: I'm a twenty five year old teacher who's three years
24:44
Speaker 6: into her career, living on her own, has many friends,
24:46
Speaker 6: and just finished her master's degree. I'm successful in so
24:50
Speaker 6: many ways, but I struggle with not feeling established and
24:53
Speaker 6: being as far along in life as I thought I
24:54
Speaker 6: would be at this point. I like Beckan Tanya. I'm
24:57
Speaker 6: a Christian, and I thought I would be for sure
24:59
Speaker 6: married with a kid or two at this point.
25:01
Speaker 7: I have been in seven weddings.
25:02
Speaker 6: Over the last two and a half years, and I
25:04
Speaker 6: feel like everyone's life is moving forward, but mine, like
25:07
Speaker 6: you'll express, twenty five, is tough. Nearly all my friends
25:10
Speaker 6: have husbands or kids, and sometimes I feel like there's
25:12
Speaker 6: something wrong with me. When Tony broke down the podcast
25:15
Speaker 6: and started crying about how she would go to bridal
25:17
Speaker 6: events and baby showers and feel sad after, I felt
25:20
Speaker 6: less alone in my thinking. It's also been beyond encouraging
25:23
Speaker 6: to watch Tanya and Becka's journeys in their relationships. I
25:26
Speaker 6: know that when I find my red Star, he'll be
25:27
Speaker 6: worth the wait. The four of you have made me
25:30
Speaker 6: laugh and cry more times than I can count, and
25:31
Speaker 6: I appreciate you putting out fantastic episodes one to two
25:34
Speaker 6: a week.
25:35
Speaker 7: Thank you for all that you do.
25:38
Speaker 4: Okay, Haley, First, I just have to say three. You're
25:42
Speaker 4: twenty five years old and you're already three years into
25:44
Speaker 4: a career. That is yeah, great, like so impressive to me.
25:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, you have established.
25:50
Speaker 4: Something that you want to do and love doing, and
25:53
Speaker 4: you have been doing it for three years literally since
25:55
Speaker 4: you got out of college.
25:57
Speaker 2: That's impressive. So give yourself some credit.
26:00
Speaker 4: Second of all, I am so happy that my whole life,
26:05
Speaker 4: I thought I would be married by twenty five. I
26:08
Speaker 4: just knew like I would have. I thought i'd have
26:10
Speaker 4: two kids a married by twenty five. I am so
26:13
Speaker 4: happy that I did not get married at twenty five
26:16
Speaker 4: and have two kids because I'm so happy that my
26:21
Speaker 4: life went in the direction that it did, and I
26:22
Speaker 4: could have never thought that it would go in that direction.
26:25
Speaker 4: And I remember thinking like watching people, especially from my
26:28
Speaker 4: hometown and like high school, getting married and having kids,
26:32
Speaker 4: and I was like, oh, no, like I'm out here
26:33
Speaker 4: in California, am I doing something wrong. Christian culture specifically
26:37
Speaker 4: is very much like get married, have kids young, and
26:42
Speaker 4: I am so happy that that wasn't my path. So
26:45
Speaker 4: I just want to say, You're not behind in anything
26:48
Speaker 4: you're doing. It's so fun to get to celebrate people
26:51
Speaker 4: and like go to these weddings and be there for
26:54
Speaker 4: your friends and get to see like, oh, I'm I
26:56
Speaker 4: can't wait for my turn. But I also don't want
26:59
Speaker 4: you to feel like you have to rush it because
27:01
Speaker 4: you're not behind at all in this.
27:04
Speaker 1: So I'm with you. I'm with you on this, But
27:08
Speaker 1: I also I feel for you, Hailey, because I feel
27:11
Speaker 1: like I remember going to all these weddings that I
27:15
Speaker 1: went to when I was single, and I was just like,
27:18
Speaker 1: when is it going to be my turn? You know,
27:20
Speaker 1: Like again, I didn't take away from the weddings like
27:23
Speaker 1: I loved it and I had so much fun. I
27:24
Speaker 1: was like I wasn't down or like crying at the weddings,
27:27
Speaker 1: Like I had a good time and I would rage,
27:29
Speaker 1: but like every single. One was just like another reminder,
27:31
Speaker 1: another reminder, another, And like I was single from twenty
27:35
Speaker 1: five to thirty two. It's a whole seven years of
27:38
Speaker 1: doing that, so times whatever, double Hailey, it's a long time.
27:44
Speaker 1: What because she's saying three years. For the last like
27:47
Speaker 1: three years she's been going all these weddings and I've
27:49
Speaker 1: been single in my car and like it does. I
27:51
Speaker 1: feel like every single time I would watch people hit
27:56
Speaker 1: that milestone, I was just like, one's it going to
27:58
Speaker 1: be my turn? And I feel like you can't see
28:02
Speaker 1: it now, Haley, But for my situation, I feel like
28:06
Speaker 1: everything happened for me when it was supposed to. Because
28:08
Speaker 1: now that I'm like planning a wedding and I'm like
28:10
Speaker 1: talking about babies and stuff, I could not imagine doing
28:14
Speaker 1: this in my career at twenty five twenty six. My
28:19
Speaker 1: career was my life at twenty five twenty six, Like
28:22
Speaker 1: I would spend twelve thirteen hours at work, like I
28:25
Speaker 1: was just work, work, work, and I think I was.
28:29
Speaker 1: I think I was that for a reason, you know,
28:32
Speaker 1: Like I that was my time to focus on work.
28:35
Speaker 1: And when I found Robbie, it was at the perfect
28:40
Speaker 1: time for me. So I don't know what this is
28:42
Speaker 1: for you, Hailey, but I do believe that, like you
28:44
Speaker 1: will find your partner when you're supposed to. It's not
28:48
Speaker 1: going to make the journey any less heartbreaking at times,
28:50
Speaker 1: because I know that I would feel that a lot.
28:54
Speaker 1: But it is going to come at the right time
28:56
Speaker 1: for you for whatever reason that is. Maybe it's not
28:58
Speaker 1: career focused, maybe it's something else, but like you'll see
29:01
Speaker 1: it in hindsight, So just know that because it is
29:05
Speaker 1: such a desire of your heart, I do feel like,
29:07
Speaker 1: you know, he will fulfill that for you, but not
29:11
Speaker 1: on your timeline.
29:13
Speaker 4: I also, this is so interesting because I do think
29:16
Speaker 4: hindsight is so it's such an interesting thing that we
29:19
Speaker 4: get in life.
29:20
Speaker 2: Because Haley and I were talking about the.
29:21
Speaker 4: Other day, how you know when you were young and
29:24
Speaker 4: you would have dinner and it was so simple. You
29:26
Speaker 4: were outside riding your bike and your mom would call
29:28
Speaker 4: you in like yeah, it was these moments of like
29:31
Speaker 4: childhood and innocence, and everyone would be like, don't waste
29:34
Speaker 4: it because like you're gonna be older one day and
29:36
Speaker 4: you'll and and you'll miss these days.
29:39
Speaker 2: And you're like, I just want to be a grown up.
29:40
Speaker 2: I just want to do.
29:41
Speaker 4: This, like you're we're always ready to get to the
29:44
Speaker 4: next step, but hindsight, looking back, you always have a
29:48
Speaker 4: different perspective on it. So you're gonna get to a
29:51
Speaker 4: point when you have this that the desire of your
29:54
Speaker 4: heart of finding your person is gonna be amazing. And
29:57
Speaker 4: then you'll look back on your time being twenty five
30:00
Speaker 4: and being a teacher and being at these weddings and
30:03
Speaker 4: being like.
30:03
Speaker 2: Oh, that was fun too.
30:05
Speaker 4: You know, I had this and I had that, and
30:07
Speaker 4: it's I think that's just life. Like you can look
30:10
Speaker 4: back and see that you were focused on your career
30:12
Speaker 4: and you wouldn't have been able to be the partner
30:15
Speaker 4: that you are today.
30:16
Speaker 1: I was talking to this friend of mine who was
30:21
Speaker 1: at thirty eight went to go get her eggs frozen
30:24
Speaker 1: because she wanted to be a mom. They told her
30:27
Speaker 1: that she did not have any eggs to freeze, so
30:29
Speaker 1: at that moment she was like had to kind of
30:31
Speaker 1: come to terms with the fact that she was not
30:33
Speaker 1: going to be mom, and it was like heartbreaking. She
30:37
Speaker 1: got pregnant at thirty nine naturally, no anything else, and
30:43
Speaker 1: she's like it's just a testament too, Like she always
30:47
Speaker 1: like wanted to be a mom, you know, like she
30:49
Speaker 1: knew that she had that, like that was like always
30:51
Speaker 1: a dream of hers. And so I don't really know
30:55
Speaker 1: why I shared that. How did it come back around?
31:03
Speaker 1: If it's meant what's meant for you will be for you?
31:07
Speaker 1: Is that where I was going with that?
31:08
Speaker 7: I don't know.
31:09
Speaker 4: I can't know.
31:10
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're on your nobody.
31:12
Speaker 1: Can reel me back into the wyro. Why did I
31:14
Speaker 1: bring that up?
31:15
Speaker 10: Well, it's just because like she had let go, she
31:18
Speaker 10: was she was attached to the possiblity. She was a
31:22
Speaker 10: she was open to they're getting further from the possibility,
31:25
Speaker 10: not attached what's the thing?
31:28
Speaker 1: Open to the possibility and attached the outcome.
31:31
Speaker 4: And so she had said, you know what what's meant
31:33
Speaker 4: to be is gonna happen to me. She held on
31:36
Speaker 4: to hope, and then she ended up getting pregnant. Naturally,
31:38
Speaker 4: That's where I was going. Thank you for landing the plane.
31:41
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:42
Speaker 2: And all that to say, Haley, life is going to
31:45
Speaker 2: be wonderful.
31:46
Speaker 1: If I had a baby when I was twenty five.
31:48
Speaker 1: I was still a baby at twenty five, Like I
31:51
Speaker 1: could not imagine raising a child at twenty five. Me personally.
31:54
Speaker 4: But the thing is like you would have done it,
31:55
Speaker 4: you know, I just haven't got mad. And there's so
31:57
Speaker 4: many people who get married younger and they love it
32:00
Speaker 4: and they love having kids. It's just like everyone's different.
32:03
Speaker 4: And I think the thing, Hayley, is that you're there's
32:06
Speaker 4: gonna be ups, there's gonna be downs, there's gonna be
32:08
Speaker 4: good dates, there's gonna be bad dates. There's gonna be heartbreak,
32:12
Speaker 4: and there's gonna be love, and you're gonna get to
32:14
Speaker 4: experience all of it.
32:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought, Robbie, I like you. I'm so lucky
32:17
Speaker 1: you met me in my thirties, because in my twenties
32:19
Speaker 1: I was not this amazing, not nearly as patient.
32:23
Speaker 2: You wouldn't have been the right girl for Robbie at twenty.
32:25
Speaker 1: Five, no no, no, no no. But now me now
32:29
Speaker 1: the perfect girl for Robles, A plus wife.
32:32
Speaker 6: The perspective is so funny because like I remember when
32:35
Speaker 6: I was nineteen, I worked at a Van's shoe store
32:37
Speaker 6: and there was a guy who worked in the soccer
32:39
Speaker 6: room and he was twenty five. I remember I was like, oh, man,
32:41
Speaker 6: Nathan's twenty five. Damn, Like he's working here that his
32:45
Speaker 6: life is Oh I remember thinking, like, his.
32:47
Speaker 7: Life is over.
32:47
Speaker 6: I never want to be like when I'm twenty five,
32:49
Speaker 6: I gotta be doing this, this and this, and then
32:51
Speaker 6: looking back on like twenty five is nothing.
32:54
Speaker 7: You're like you are a child.
32:56
Speaker 1: But why is it twenty five? Is that year where
32:58
Speaker 1: everyone thinks that everything needs to be done by twenty five? Yeah,
33:01
Speaker 1: I'm like, when did that become the number?
33:03
Speaker 2: Let's look at that number.
33:04
Speaker 1: It's like our quarter of.
33:05
Speaker 7: A sus.
33:07
Speaker 1: Well, I still would have been late to that.
33:09
Speaker 4: But.
33:11
Speaker 7: Let's go to forty five, forty five.
33:13
Speaker 2: Ninety five?
33:15
Speaker 1: Yes, pushing it back.
33:18
Speaker 2: Yeah.
33:20
Speaker 6: Uh, here's an update. People ask for updates all the time.
33:23
Speaker 6: We have one. This is really exciting. Last week, V
33:25
Speaker 6: asked us for help with her breakup. She was with
33:28
Speaker 6: her boyfriend for three years. He was the love of
33:29
Speaker 6: her life. She had helped him get sober, but he
33:32
Speaker 6: had broken up with her three times prior to this,
33:34
Speaker 6: and even as mom said her son had stuff to
33:36
Speaker 6: figure out and to not wait for him, V wrote
33:38
Speaker 6: in again with an update. Thank you so much for
33:41
Speaker 6: answering my question on the pod. Yesterday was my twenty
33:43
Speaker 6: ninth birthday, and I've been coping with a few weeks
33:45
Speaker 6: from hell trying to overcome this breakup.
33:48
Speaker 7: Wanted to share an update that I did speak to
33:49
Speaker 7: my ex.
33:50
Speaker 6: We had a closure talk where he answered all the
33:52
Speaker 6: questions I had about our relationship. It sounds like he
33:54
Speaker 6: doesn't understand the concept of once the honeymoon phase ends,
33:57
Speaker 6: you must develop a new kind of love for your person,
34:00
Speaker 6: and he fell out of love with me, which is
34:02
Speaker 6: a pattern he has now repeated in his other relationships
34:04
Speaker 6: he's had as well. While we ended on an amicable note,
34:07
Speaker 6: we're going into no contact now and working on ourselves individually.
34:11
Speaker 6: I feel like I'll always think of him as a
34:12
Speaker 6: core part of my life, as I loved him like
34:14
Speaker 6: I've loved nobody ever before. But I'm working on myself
34:17
Speaker 6: to be the best version I can be, and trying
34:19
Speaker 6: to prove to myself what I am worth to ensure
34:21
Speaker 6: I don't have to suffer heartache like this again. I
34:24
Speaker 6: trust life's path to lead me in the right direction,
34:26
Speaker 6: whether it's with someone who treats me like the absolute best,
34:29
Speaker 6: or whether it's with new and improved versions of ourselves.
34:31
Speaker 6: Thank you, guys for all your advice and for all
34:33
Speaker 6: the joy bring into my life. Becca You're such an
34:35
Speaker 6: authentic human being and I love how much you own
34:37
Speaker 6: who you are and I just want nothing more than
34:39
Speaker 6: to be best friends with you.
34:40
Speaker 7: Tanya.
34:41
Speaker 6: You remind me so much of myself and are just
34:43
Speaker 6: so genuinely kind hearted. And I'm so happy for you
34:45
Speaker 6: and Robbie and can't wait to watch you both rive
34:47
Speaker 6: in twenty twenty five.
34:48
Speaker 7: Cheers to you all and thanks again.
34:53
Speaker 1: So we love but amazing.
34:55
Speaker 2: We're so proud of me.
34:56
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's such a huge step to take for yourself.
35:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, to like make that decision so hard, but like
35:03
Speaker 4: so impressive to choose yourself.
35:06
Speaker 2: Yes, not many people do.
35:08
Speaker 1: No, they don't.
35:08
Speaker 2: So I hope you feel very proud of yourself. We're
35:11
Speaker 2: rooting for you.
35:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, we love you. V Keep us posted to you.
35:16
Speaker 1: Keep dating yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
35:18
Speaker 2: Coming the updates of coming.
35:21
Speaker 7: Yeah.
35:21
Speaker 6: After every day to drop an email in that inbox.
35:24
Speaker 6: We want up to the minute updates. We have one
35:27
Speaker 6: more here before we say goodbye. This is from Happy
35:31
Speaker 6: Thank you for helping me. Hi, Tanya, Mark Easton, and Becca.
35:34
Speaker 6: I'm a mom of three from Florida, currently living in Utah.
35:37
Speaker 6: I've been listening to your podcast since the very first
35:39
Speaker 6: episode and absolutely adult door all four of you. Proud
35:42
Speaker 6: time you taught yea happy to rise up. I just
35:46
Speaker 6: want to let you know how much you've helped me
35:48
Speaker 6: this last year. I was diagnosed with stage four coin
35:50
Speaker 6: cancer in October twenty twenty three and had to stop
35:52
Speaker 6: listening to all the murder mystery podcasts or any other
35:55
Speaker 6: slightly negative, downer podcasts I used to listen to and
35:58
Speaker 6: only stick with my upbeat, happy podcast, Yours and The
36:01
Speaker 6: Toast because it can't be left to my own thoughts
36:03
Speaker 6: due to current life circumstances. I've even gone back and
36:06
Speaker 6: started re listening to scribing In since the first episode
36:08
Speaker 6: or tany joined in. I'm currently on episode thirty five. Yesterday,
36:12
Speaker 6: I was given slightly bad news about my condition and
36:14
Speaker 6: I couldn't fall asleep. My mind was spiraling while I
36:17
Speaker 6: was laying there, so I put on your podcast, listening
36:18
Speaker 6: to at three am to distract and uplift me while
36:20
Speaker 6: trying to fall asleep and shaking with the giggles over
36:23
Speaker 6: something time you said, thank you for aunnowingly helping me
36:26
Speaker 6: during such a difficult time in my life, and can
36:28
Speaker 6: you please plan a live podcast meetup so I can
36:30
Speaker 6: meet my favorite podcasters celebrities.
36:32
Speaker 7: You're my Jen Aniston's Brad Pitts.
36:37
Speaker 1: Wow, that is happy happy. We are so sorry.
36:44
Speaker 2: We are rooting for you.
36:45
Speaker 4: I hope that your next checkup that you get great
36:49
Speaker 4: news and that things are turned around and that you
36:52
Speaker 4: start feeling better and only moving forward here is health
36:57
Speaker 4: and wellness.
36:58
Speaker 1: And I do feel like the direction you're going in,
37:02
Speaker 1: like the fact that you stop listening to the murder
37:04
Speaker 1: mysteries and the things that make you like anxious or
37:06
Speaker 1: worry or like any of that stuff, is so important
37:08
Speaker 1: because I think from what I have heard, when you
37:11
Speaker 1: are dealing with cancer, keeping your mind in a very positive,
37:14
Speaker 1: happy spirited place is like very very important. So I
37:19
Speaker 1: think that's also really good that you're doing that, and
37:23
Speaker 1: we are praying for you. We are praying for health
37:26
Speaker 1: and happiness. And the fact that you took the time
37:29
Speaker 1: to send this email is so sweet and so nice,
37:33
Speaker 1: and honestly, it's something that I feel like Beck and
37:37
Speaker 1: I've talked about a lot since we've been doing this
37:40
Speaker 1: podcast for so long, that we really want this podcast
37:43
Speaker 1: just to be light and fun and funny and like
37:47
Speaker 1: a place for people just to kind of escape and
37:50
Speaker 1: have a good time, not like we're trying to be
37:53
Speaker 1: like Oprah. No, maybe at one point we wanted to
37:57
Speaker 1: lean in that direction.
37:58
Speaker 6: Nah yah, we beat her for the people's choice toward it.
38:02
Speaker 2: Yeah that year, we have our own thing going on.
38:07
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I do I love like the shaking with
38:11
Speaker 4: giggles at something Tanya said.
38:13
Speaker 2: Who who knows what that could be?
38:15
Speaker 4: You know. But I hope that you feel surrounded, I loved,
38:19
Speaker 4: and I hope when you listen to this podcast it's
38:21
Speaker 4: an escape from everything going on for all of you.
38:24
Speaker 4: I hope that you listen to this podcast and it's
38:26
Speaker 4: a safe space for you to go to disconnect and be.
38:33
Speaker 2: Just absolutely baffled.
38:35
Speaker 4: Or by what Tanya's saying or encouraged or just to
38:40
Speaker 4: escape and have a laugh. And we love y'all so much,
38:44
Speaker 4: and that's why we do the podcast. Truly, This is
38:47
Speaker 4: why we do the podcast.
38:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like really, that email means so much. Happy.
38:51
Speaker 6: Yeah, We're so grateful to be part of your routine,
38:56
Speaker 6: and especially when you're looking for something positive. I just
38:59
Speaker 6: think a special place to be in people's lives for that,
39:02
Speaker 6: I'm so I'm so grateful.
39:03
Speaker 4: Out of all the podcasts, how lucky are we to
39:06
Speaker 4: be a part of Happy Today and so many of
39:08
Speaker 4: our scrubber's daily lives.
39:11
Speaker 2: We love y'all so much.
39:12
Speaker 1: We love you so much, and.
39:16
Speaker 4: We will be back next week for more of this
39:20
Speaker 4: and more of that, this and that.
39:23
Speaker 1: Do you think I'm going to be different as a wife?
39:28
Speaker 2: Stay tuned for the next