Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Is there any way that you can convince a narcissist to get help?
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on beautiful people Welcome to another
- 0:02episode of the Narcissist Code. I'm your favorite selfaware
- 0:06narcissist Mr. Lee Hammett, better known as mental illness
- 0:08across all social media platforms.
- 0:10This is the first time sitting in my face or hearing my voice.
- 0:12I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and I use my platform
- 0:15on social media to raise raise awareness of NPD, get more
- 0:19people in new therapy and also validate the victims, survivors
- 0:22and thrivers. They'll say say tasty people
- 0:24said disorder. Say tasty trade shot.
- 0:27Today's episode is going to be entitled How can you Tell the
- 0:30Narcissist to Get help? How can you convince the
- 0:33narcissist to get help? Is there any way to tell my
- 0:36partner or my parent or whoever they it is that they might be a
- 0:39narcissist and they need to go to therapy and all the other
- 0:42good stuff? Before we hop in today's
- 0:45episode, y'all make sure y'all check out the Self Love brand.
- 0:48I love Me Self Love and Healing. I'm good links to the
- 0:53description of every single video and podcast that I do.
- 0:56So Yep, Yep Yep. Is there a way to for a
- 0:58narcissist to go get help? So I I I get me.
- 1:02In particular I get this question a lot.
- 1:04I know, I know Ben Taylor over raw motivations.
- 1:07I know he he gets this the same question a lot as well about,
- 1:12you know, being a narcissist in therapy that's still married and
- 1:15having a relationship. People ask like how do I get my
- 1:18partner to go get help? What can I say to them?
- 1:20Is there any way that I could put these into words to make
- 1:24them go get help? And y'all the answer to the
- 1:28question people don't like when I tell them this, you can't make
- 1:31them go get help. It can't be you.
- 1:36It just yeah, so many people attach their self worth to
- 1:41whether or not they're narcissistic, toxic partner goes
- 1:45to therapy or goes and get help. Like they you say like well you.
- 1:49Well, I must not be worth much because my partner doesn't want
- 1:51to go get help and my partner must not really love me because
- 1:54they don't want to go get help. They don't want to go get
- 1:56assistance. My partner doesn't want to do
- 1:58this. My partner feels this way.
- 2:00So they must not love me. They must not care about me.
- 2:02Yeah, that's not the truth right there.
- 2:03Y'all. It has very little to do with
- 2:06you. It has way less to do with you
- 2:08than you think it does what they narcissistic person goes, get,
- 2:11goes and gets help, goes to therapy or not.
- 2:13It's way less dependent upon to you than you think it is, you
- 2:16know? But like, I guess I wasn't worth
- 2:18enough for them to go to therapy and get help.
- 2:20Lee, you love your wife enough to go to therapy for her.
- 2:23It's not about her. Ben Taylor.
- 2:27We're all motivations. Another selfaware narcissism
- 2:29here. Didn't go to therapy because his
- 2:32wife, you know, he doesn't go to therapy for his wife right now.
- 2:34He goes to therapy to make himself better.
- 2:36I go to therapy to make myself better.
- 2:37It's not about them, it's it's still about us.
- 2:40I'm very selfish in my healing and for a narcissistic person to
- 2:43go get help, they have to want to do it themselves.
- 2:45Y'all they have to want to go get help themselves.
- 2:47Like a lot of narcissists do, know that something is going on
- 2:50within themselves. But to admit that takes so much
- 2:54strength and takes so much just takes so much the will to want
- 2:58to deal with. Shame that a lot of them don't
- 3:01possess that they don't possess the strength to admit that
- 3:04something is wrong with them and go get help.
- 3:06Some people can admit that something wrong with them.
- 3:08They'll say, well, I know something's going on inside of
- 3:10me. I ain't.
- 3:11Don't feel right. I know that I'm different.
- 3:14I can't control myself. I just want to know what's going
- 3:16on, what's wrong with me. But I don't want to go get help.
- 3:19I can do this on my own. Nope.
- 3:21Nope. Nope.
- 3:21Nope. You cannot.
- 3:23Yeah, you as a narcissist myself, I don't truly believe.
- 3:27I truly don't believe that you think you you you can.
- 3:30You can do it by yourself. I really don't.
- 3:32I don't think that you can do it by yourself.
- 3:34I don't think that the narcissists can work on
- 3:36themselves, by themselves and change their behaviors major on
- 3:39a major, on a major level. I think it requires some type of
- 3:45actual outside, outside help. I do.
- 3:48I think it requires something, something for the somebody, for
- 3:51some outside source. You know it because it requires
- 3:55a level of vulnerability for them to go get help believe
- 3:58Okay. So what.
- 4:00So if you had a gun to your gun to your head, if you had to say
- 4:05what can what, what, how do we do it though I'm on options and
- 4:10I want to stay. Yeah.
- 4:11Again, the only way narcissists get help.
- 4:14This is what I said earlier. They have to want to do it
- 4:16themselves. So it has to seem like an idea
- 4:19that came from them. My wife yelled at me and called
- 4:24me a narcissist. My full story y'all if y'all
- 4:26don't know if you Google CNBC, Lee Hammock, you know the the TV
- 4:31channel and the news organization CNBC, Google, CNBC,
- 4:34Lee Hammock. And an article will come up with
- 4:36my full story in it of how I got the therapy and how I work on
- 4:40myself. Doctor Rahman is in the same
- 4:41article. She's in the same article as
- 4:44well, so we'll see. But my full story is in it.
- 4:48My wife called me a narcissist and then she left.
- 4:51So my journey to going to get help came for me.
- 4:53Only thing she did was call me a narcissist.
- 4:55And I'm this is not me telling you to call your partner and
- 4:57narcissist to call your mom or daddy your brother.
- 4:59It's just this is not me telling you to call them a narcissist.
- 5:02This is me saying that my wife called me a narcissist because
- 5:04she was done and she was leaving she out on her way out the door.
- 5:08She called me a narcissist and dipped out.
- 5:10You said she didn't say hey Lee babe Honey Boo Boo.
- 5:16Not stupid, but my my little book.
- 5:17She didn't say nothing like that.
- 5:20She called me narcissist and dipped out.
- 5:22She didn't. She didn't say, oh, I love you
- 5:24so much. Go get help.
- 5:24No, she didn't. The word help.
- 5:26That wasn't in her vocabulary. I I did that.
- 5:29I looked up the word narcissist on my own and it opened up the
- 5:32world to me. I'm not telling you to call your
- 5:34partner narcissist. I'm not saying to do that the
- 5:36only way It has to seem like it. Yeah, it has to seem like it
- 5:39comes from them. You have to paint it in a good
- 5:42light. You have to paint paint it in a
- 5:43good light. How do you paint it in the good
- 5:46light? Y'all how you paint.
- 5:48Telling somebody that they have a disorder, they possibly have a
- 5:51disorder and a good life. Somebody who doesn't like, who
- 5:54doesn't want to admit that anything is wrong with them.
- 5:57How do you paint in a good life? You have to make it seem like
- 5:59there's nothing wrong with being a Narcis.
- 6:00And that's what my channel. This is what I'm telling people.
- 6:03This is my channel. I tell people there's nothing
- 6:06wrong with being a Narcis. If you're working to yourself
- 6:09and you're not intentionally out here hurting other people,
- 6:11intentionally or unintentionally consistently hurting other
- 6:14people, there's nothing wrong with it.
- 6:16Unless you're like I said, unless you're hurting other
- 6:18people. Like, you can work on yourself.
- 6:19You can work on yourself like there's nothing wrong with it
- 6:21except you for except you for you and work on you.
- 6:25It has to be, it has to seem like it's a good idea coming
- 6:28from someone else, I mean a good idea coming from them.
- 6:31Because you know a lot of narcissistic people, y'all this
- 6:33is how the mind works. Like you will give them some
- 6:37advice and they won't listen to it.
- 6:40Somebody else will give them that same advice and they'll
- 6:42listen to it. You are too close.
- 6:44Y'all. I think like a lot of people
- 6:45don't realize, it's like a lot of times you are just too close
- 6:49to the situation to realize that they're not going to take advice
- 6:52from you. They don't look at you as their
- 6:54equal or somebody on their level.
- 6:55It has to come from somebody else.
- 6:58So it can't come from you. It has to come from somebody
- 7:00else, even it is. And like, even if it comes from
- 7:02somebody else, there's no guarantee that they're going to
- 7:04receive it the way that you want them to receive it, you know
- 7:07what I mean? So even if it comes from someone
- 7:08else, even if they say, hey, this is what's going on right
- 7:11here, this is what happened right here.
- 7:13Even if they are agreeable to listening to somebody else
- 7:15calling them a narcissist or not even the word narcissist because
- 7:18it's so derogatory, say, hey, you have to go to therapy.
- 7:20Somebody getting talked about somebody else has to lead by
- 7:23example. Somebody that they respect or
- 7:25they or jealous of that they admire has to be leading by
- 7:28example and for them to and tell them it has to come.
- 7:32And sometimes y'all it can't come from you.
- 7:34Sometimes it's not the message, it's the messenger, You're the
- 7:37messenger. Sometimes you're just too close
- 7:39to y'all and a lot of narcissistic people don't
- 7:41respect the people that are super close to them, the wife
- 7:43and kids, the parents, they don't respect them like that.
- 7:46They don't respect their advice. But if it's like if somebody, a
- 7:49high, a high authority figure told them that something like
- 7:52that, it might be something that might be willing to look into.
- 7:54So it might be, it might be the source.
- 7:56It might have to come from somebody else.
- 7:57Then somebody else might have to paint it in a good light for
- 8:00them. But not you.
- 8:01You know, I know you wanted to come.
- 8:03I know you wanted to come from you because you want to be the
- 8:05helpful source that you are. You want it to be you.
- 8:08But yeah, sometimes it just can't come from you.
- 8:09Yeah. Sometimes you have to remove
- 8:10yourself from the situation. Am I telling you I'm not telling
- 8:12you to leave the relationship? I'm telling you.
- 8:14Sometimes you have to remove yourself from the situation to
- 8:17see it in a different light. Like, this person doesn't
- 8:19respect me. They never take my advice.
- 8:21So why would they listen to me about, about therapy?
- 8:24You know, why would they listen to me about going to get help?
- 8:27Why would they listen to me? They don't listen to you about
- 8:29cooking and cleaning and whatever the the the paying, the
- 8:31bills or whatever. They don't listen to you about
- 8:33nothing else. Why would they listen to you
- 8:35about going to get some mental health help?
- 8:37You see what I'm saying? Sometimes they might pretend to
- 8:40listen to you if you want to leave you.
- 8:41I mean, like I said, like my wife left.
- 8:43I was like, I was all ears When she left.
- 8:45I didn't really want her to leave.
- 8:46But when she left, I was just like, Dang.
- 8:48And then she called me and the nurse said like, well, maybe
- 8:50they didn't help her to help me get her home.
- 8:52So I looked it up. You mean I was super angry?
- 8:54I was like, why the hell? Why the hell?
- 8:55She called me a narcissist? Maybe?
- 8:56Let me look this up to see what's going on.
- 8:58I looked it up and guess what happened?
- 9:00Narcissist. And it just happened to fit me.
- 9:02So it was in the beginning. It wasn't me looking it up for,
- 9:08like, with a good intent. It was me looking it up out of
- 9:10anger because I was super angry when she sent that to me.
- 9:14I promise you. When she said that to me, I was
- 9:16so angry. When she didn't send it to me,
- 9:18when she called me narcissist, I was so angry.
- 9:19It just didn't make any sense. I was just flame.
- 9:22I was literally flaming hot, you know?
- 9:25But that's what happens a lot of times in these situations right
- 9:27here. Y'all when you're dealing with
- 9:28narcissistic people, toxic people.
- 9:30This is kind of the crux that you fall into when you deal with
- 9:34people like this. Is it like you want them to go
- 9:36get help, but they have to want them more for themselves?
- 9:39You can't want them to go get help more than they wanted for
- 9:42themselves Or you'll be. It's like you put, it's like
- 9:44literally like you are pushing against the brick wall.
- 9:47You may you you yourself go, go, I mean you don't believe me.
- 9:51Go outside, push against, go outside, find the closest
- 9:53building to you and push against the brick wall.
- 9:55Go ahead and do that. See how that you know, see how
- 9:57it ends up for you right there. Because typically it doesn't end
- 10:01very well for people, you know, but it's just a space that a lot
- 10:04of people fall into. We're trying to help people.
- 10:06You want people to go get help. Like I said, it's okay to choose
- 10:09you. It really is.
- 10:10And I have a lot of narcissists want you to accept them for who
- 10:13they are. They want you to like if you
- 10:14want to be with me, you have to accept me for who I am, you
- 10:18know. But that's the piece that a lot
- 10:20of people fall into you out. I just want to help with many
- 10:22people like hand they may It has to come from you.
- 10:24It can't come from. It has to be.
- 10:26It has to seem like it's good, a good idea.
- 10:29It has to see like it's been. You have to make it seem like
- 10:31it's beneficial to them for them to be better for them to feel
- 10:34like the glorious king or queen or whoever they are.
- 10:37You see what I'm saying? Being with y'all I'm because
- 10:40this thing to the end. I appreciate you being here.
- 10:42I'm super thankful for every single one of y'all.
- 10:44If you haven't already, go ahead.
- 10:45Like to subscribe the channel. Y'all, until this is out peace,
- 10:49thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 10:51Y'all I'm I am truly, eternally grateful for every single one of
- 10:55y'all that support the channel in any way, shape or form.
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- 11:23Thank you. Thank you, Thank you, thanks.