Latest / Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell / Reclaiming YOU And Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce

Transcript

Reclaiming YOU And Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce · Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate the podcast, finding the space for all of you in life and love.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Sally Ann Hartnell, and this podcast is for anyone wanting to reclaim and liberate themselves in their relationships and their life.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever you are on your relationship journey, these conversations meet you right there.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: In soulful, deeply supportive DNMs with me and interviews with other gorgeous humans, moving you from where you are to where you most want to be.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: A life and love completely aligned with your deepest desires to have it all on your own terms.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you're seeking a relationship and a life that lights up all of you, you're in the right place.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also like to acknowledge that this podcast is recorded on the traditional lands of the Wurundjeri people and pay my respects to elders past, present, and emerging and acknowledge them as the original storytellers of this land.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back if you're a regular listener and to those of you for whom this is first episode, a really warm, ex especially warm welcome.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is all about reclaiming you, reclaiming and rebuilding life and yourself after divorce.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And in this episode, I'm going to step you through one process that I use with my one-to-one clients and have used myself to rebuild and reclaim self and life after a big change or shift or which you know divorce relationship breakdown is a big life event.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: This process in this episode is about finding yourself after divorce.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And while we could talk about it being creating a bucket list, it's way more than that.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's about consciously choosing how you want life to look and feel, what you're going to focus on, how you got how you're going to or how you how you're going to be willing to spend your time, your energy, and yes, your money.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now, our time here, our time is finite.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: We each have one precious life, and that means our time is precious.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So this process is one that you can use at any point in your life, but it's particularly relevant at those big crash points like relationship breakdown or divorce.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: It helps you get really clear on how and where you want to spend your precious time, your life, those precious, finite moments that we have that we each have.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's about really getting clear on what is important to you and how and where you want to spend your time, effort, energy, and of course your money.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now, as some of you will already know, I've just come back to Melbourne after spending three weeks in Europe, Sweden mostly, Denmark with a little side trip to Prague.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this trip was amazing.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I spent all of it, most of it, with one of my best and longest girlfriends.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it was filled with lots of laughing, lots of talking, lots of deep conversation that you can, you know, you can perhaps only have with someone that you've known since being a teenager who's been there right through the ups, the downs, the boyfriends that we don't have, we've seen each other through marriages, divorces, children, all the things.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it was quite quite um soul-nourishing and cup-filling.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now, something that many of you might not know, in fact, none of you will know, is that a year ago, almost to the day that I got back from that trip, my partner Adam and I have for 10 years decided to separate.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: So it's been a while, there's been lots of processing, um, but I am once again flying solo.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: So the trip to Sweden was one part of my healing from that separation, one part of my reclamation.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not something that I've spoken about publicly.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always mindful of doing that about my private life because it impacts not only me, but everyone else who is part of that story.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is not just my story, but it involves other people.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it hasn't been a secret, but it's not something that I've publicly declared until now.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: But while I was packing to go on that trip, I grabbed an old notebook notebook off my desk and I flicked to the back pages because sometimes I write more significant things where I can access them more easily without flicking through the entire notebook.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: So when I've written something in a journal or a diary or even a notebook that I want to be able to reference easily, I'll turn to the back and I'll write it out again in the back pages.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: So when I grabbed this notebook, I flicked it open and I found a whole process, a whole bunch of lists really, under various headings and topics.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: And these were things that I'd written down, I'd journalled about, I'd worked through in the first days and weeks after the separation.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And while I hadn't forgotten them, they were still very much part of my day-to-day, week-to-week kind of processes.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, reading through them again, a reminder and a you know, giving myself a refresher was a really good thing, and it and I decided then to share it with you.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, not because I'm going to share the entire actual list as such, but because I want to share my process with you.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's a and it's a process I often work through with my one-to-one clients in our work together.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: So when I coach, I always start at the end.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Regardless of where you are in your relationship journey, regardless of whether you're in the messy middle of a divorce or you're out the other side, or you haven't even really open conversation with your partner, you're still in that should I stay, should I go phase?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Regardless of where you are, when you work with me, we start at the end.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want life to look and feel in two, five, ten, or twenty years' time?
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: What does your ideal life look like?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, so it is with any big crash moment in life, whether it's a breakup or something else.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want this next chapter of your life to look?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want to fill it up?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: What are you seeking?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: What are you craving?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: What are you calling in for yourself?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want to spend your time, your energy, and your money?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when we do this, many of my clients will say that they want to be in a new relationship, they want to find their next person and they want to know the how of doing that.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: So they're looking really for dating advice, you know, getting on the apps, how to get out there again and meet the one, etc.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: etc.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: etc.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And while I don't claim to be a dating coach, I do support my clients to expand into that and what that can look like.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: This process that I'm going to take you through is one small part of how I do that.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's a whole lot of other stuff that we do in terms of calling in or defining the container for your relationship, all the things, and I think I've run a podcast episode on that beforehand, but definitely a masterclass, so I'll try and find the link to that and drop it in the show notes.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: But for now, back to the bucket list.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, no, this is not going to be a list of what your dream partner all is looks like or who I'm seeking in a new relationship.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Although, as I said, I do do that with clients, it's a whole other process and probably a little too in-depth for this podcast episode.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So the lists and the process is really a little more like a mind map, and there are a number of ways that you can do it.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: You can braindump it straight onto paper, you can type it into an online planner or a document, and or you can do it on post-it notes.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Personally, I like the post-it note process.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really visual, I'm also tactile, so I like to write it down and stick it on the wall.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: So my lists and the lists that I lead clients through creating are about things I wanted to do with my time now in this next chapter of my life.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Newly single with a mostly empty-ish kind of nest.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, my kids are pretty independent, they're now 21 and 19, they're both driving, they're both at uni, and of course, they have two homes.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: They have their home here with me, and they have their home with their dad.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: So they're moving between those two homes, and they both have a partner.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: So they'll also each have an extra house or an extra home to hang out in.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: That means my house is often empty or empty-ish.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm at a stage where I can choose really quite freely how I spend my time.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so these lists, this mind map, this whole process was about fleshing that out, was about working out how I wanted to spend my time, where I wanted to focus, what I wanted to create or call in in this next chapter of life.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: It was about making a conscious decision and taking myself through a conscious process.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: So that, you know, if on any given day or a weekend I was feeling a little bit stuck or lost or lonely, not that that happens very often.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm pretty comp I'm pretty comfortable in my own in my own company company, but it m you know, maybe I was just thinking about okay, how am I going to spend my time this weekend?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: I had a pre-prepared list.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: I had things to choose from.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And in the aftermath of a separation or a divorce, it can be really helpful to have that pre-prepared list.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: It can be as simple as TV shows you want to watch, music you want to listen to, so that you're not stuck in this indecision of, oh my gosh, I've got, you know, I've got half a day, or my kids are with their other parent.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: What the hell am I going to do?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: You've already got a list.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, back to the process.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because yeah, having that list also helps with just your general life planning and again your focus.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: What am I focusing my time and attention, my energy on?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because that focus creates feelings within us, right?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: It feeling and our feelings can help us shift our mindset and so on and so on.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's cyclical.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: So where we focus expands.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so being conscious and creating a conscious list or map of where you want to focus can really be helpful.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I started with a bunch of post-it notes and just wrote random things on them, one thing per post-it note, and stuck them all up on my study wall.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Again, this is the exact process I take my clients through.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if you do, if you want to do it, I suggest you go, I encourage you to go as big and as wide and as deep and as crazy as you like.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, have you always wanted to write a book?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Write it on a post-it note, stick it on the wall.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Have you wanted to walk the Great Wall of China from end to end?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Write it down, stick it up.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: And gradually, as you do this, you'll see themes emerge and you can rearrange rearrange, I'm sorry, these post-it notes into groups.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Your themes or groups will, of course, be different to mine, they'll be different to the next person that does this or to any of my clients.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yours will be unique to you.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And there's one theme that I always encourage my clients to include, and I'll share that a bit later.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I wanted to first to share the themes and the categories that came up for me.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Mine were things like people, and under this were people I wanted to increase connection with or reconnect with, um, as well as the type of people, new connections I wanted to make.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: When we're in relationship, we can often find that we don't actively disconnect, but but the connections that we have with other people can become weaker, it's probably not the right term, but less.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so I made a list of people that I wanted to increase or deepen my connection with, reconnect with.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and in terms of the type of new connections I wanted to make, I'm talking here not specific people, but not you know, not a person as such, but aligned people, the kind of people I wanted to be connected with.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: So under my list of people I had those already know I already know, as well as those I'm yet to meet or wanting to make connection with.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Other themes that I had were things like books and podcasts and movies, books I wanted to read, podcasts I wanted to listen to, movies I wanted to see, you know, old ones, new ones, revisited ones, um, movies to watch at home, movies to go to the cinema, and a part of that was was um encouraging or daring myself to go to the cinema alone.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've done it before, long time ago, um, did it again, and I love it, and reminding myself that regardless of my relationship status, making sure I continue to do those things that I really love, even if it is saying I'm go, I'm taking myself off to the cinema all by myself, um, making sure, making time and creating time and focus time, making a conscious choice to continue to do those things regardless of relationship status.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Another category or theme for me was things like museums and exhibitions, um, movement, ways I wanted to move my body where I wanted to do that.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you might already know if you follow me on social media that burlesque dancing was one of those things.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I also made a list of hikes or walks that I wanted to do.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I mapped out how far I wanted to be able to walk and run, and another component of movement was bringing back in some yoga, and I've really leaned into cold water swimming, which I just re-embraced in Sweden after a hiatus in the Melbourne winter, and I'm back into that.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Another theme for me was learning or education, things I wanted to learn, things I wanted to revisit that I'd learned as a kid, online courses I wanted to finish.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, feels a bit ridiculous to say it, I don't know why, but um, teaching myself to crochet.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: I used to be able to do it as a kid, it's just something to do with my hands, um, and it's a it can be a real mindfulness experience.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: So that is on my list, learning or relearning to crochet.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: A part of that learning was also another theme emerged that emerged, and that is you know, creativity.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um where and how and what things am I going to do that, what things do I want to do, where do I want to focus that build out build out my creativity?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um just being creative just because you know, I do a lot of creative stuff in my work with clients, the podcast, with um social media content, but I wanted creativity, I wanted to reclaim my creativity, I suppose, in a way that was just enjoyable for me.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: So creativity emerged as another theme, and there was a whole bunch of things that sat underneath that.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I love food.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: So places that I wanted to eat, and again, you know, sometimes in relationship there are compromises that we make.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you like Japanese, your partner doesn't.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: You are really adventurous with food, and your partner is a super taster and you know needs really bland food, whatever it is.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, as a single person, you've got the capacity to choose exactly what and where you want to eat.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I've made a list of things I want to try, places I want to eat, restaurants, cafes with other people, but also solo.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um travel, of course.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Travel emerged as a key theme.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, trips I wanted to take, trips I wanted to plan, places to go, solo trips and with others, but mostly for me, some of these are solo, reclaiming my solo time and filling it with places that I want to visit.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, simple as I've got a list of waterfalls, waterfalls that I want to visit.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, some are within driving distance of my home, some are much, much further afield.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: So travel emerged as as a theme for me, as did wellness.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, things like meditation, reigniting my love of meditation and really committing to it, focusing on it.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: Cold water swimming came up again, and just getting back into the surf.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, a list of healthier meals to try, you know, stuff like that.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then group activities.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is one that I really encourage all of my clients to include because we're not going to meet new people, we're not going to call in new connections if we only do things solo.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: As I said earlier, I love my solo time.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I really enjoy my own company, I'm quite happy spending an entire weekend by myself, but it does mean if I choose to do that, I'm not making those connections with new people that I talked about earlier.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: So thinking about group activities, I wanted to um incorporate into my life, where I wanted to focus my group energy, group activity energy.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, dancing was one of those.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um joining a choir has been another, finding the right singing group.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, whatever it is for you, it might be making sure you're at the gym and having conversations with people at the gym.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: It might be um ocean swimming for one of my clients.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: It was ocean swimming for another one, it was um going to like a book club.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, whatever it is, um making sure you're involving yourself in group activities.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Another theme that came up for me was things to do at home.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to always feel like I have to be out of the house and busy, busy, busy just doing, doing for the sake of doing.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I came up with a whole bunch of things that I wanted to do, things I wanted to focus my time, effort, and energy on, and they just happened to be in the home.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm gonna sand back an old rocking chair that came from our um our family home when my parents sold and and moved somewhere else.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Sand it back, restain it.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna reorganise the cupboard under the stairs that I've been promising myself I'll do since we moved into this place.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know, other things like carve out an hour to sit in the sun with a book or listen to a podcast, um, watch a movie on the couch, plant the summer herbs and vegetables.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: And this also is really important if you are in a situation where you're you still have children who are moving back and forth between your home, their home with you and their home with their other parent.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: You do have empty time on your hands, and it can be just nice to have that touch point, that list of things when you go, hmm, I've got an entire day to fill here.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: What would I like to do?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: What did I commit to, or what did I think that I wanted to do?
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what am I going to commit to filling my day with today?
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and of course, the one that I encourage all of my clients to include in their own reclaim themselves after divorce list or life map.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I often call it, and I did I did call mine stretchy scary things.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, burlesque performance was one of those things.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: I signed up to um I signed up to my dance class, I was not doing the performance, I was not performing publicly, it was all about just reclaiming me and my femininity and doing all that stuff, but I ended up doing the stretchy and scary thing, and there is nothing more terrifying and exhilarating than standing or dancing on a stage with a bunch of other humans in your underwear.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: So, whatever it is for you does not have to be burlesque performance.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Choose your stretchy, scary things.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and a solo trip overseas was one of those stretchy, scary things.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this latest trip really wasn't solo, so it's still on my list.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: Not visiting a friend, um, but really going solo.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: So that's still to come.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, whatever those things are that really take you outside of your comfort zone, the things you wish you could do, the things you wish you were brave enough to do, the crazy things you fear that you might never get around to doing, they go in your stretchy scary things list.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you actually think you'll never be brave enough to really commit and do them, write them down and include them because as you stretch into the other simpler, less scary things, you may well be surprised by your capacity and your willingness to then lean into new and scary things more easily or more confidently.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so build out you write down each thing, stick it on a post it, write down each thing on a post it note, stick it on the wall, see your Key themes have emerged, make your list, write them down somewhere else, keep them accessible so that you can tap back into them, you can refer to them.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Also, from key themes, and and this happens both this happened, I should say, with myself, and it happens with clients.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: Comes a re-evaluation of core life values.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, some key words emerged, they just kept popping up, and it may well happen for you.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, for me it was things like wellness, inward, connection, expansion, challenge, stillness, and adventure, and also wholeness, wholeness and well-being.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: So there were really obvious broader themes that have become more of a key focus, and that will continue for the rest of 2023 for me and likely into 2024 and beyond.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: So once you've got your themes, think about how those themes fit with the core values of your or your core life values.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: So now I have a lovely list of big things and small things to fill out my days and my weeks and my and my months, things to explore, things to relearn, things to reclaim.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: And some of them I've already done, others I had actually forgotten that I'd written down, which is why it's important to have your list somewhere that's accessible, that's accessible and visible, and you revisit it often.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: You can tick things off, you can add things on because as you move through, you'll find that there are other things that you want to focus on, other things that you want to spend your time, effort, energy, and your money on.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: A longer trip where I'm working part of the time, so still accessible and available to you or my clients, but holidaying at other times.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: So watch this space.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: And now I wanted to relate all of this back to something I mentioned at the top of the episode, which is dating.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: How does all this relate back to dating and calling in your next person or your next relationship?
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: So when I'm working with clients one-on-one who think they might be ready to get back out into the world of dating, but they're not sold on the online dating or on online dating experience, I should say, or you know, getting on the apps, by getting really clear on the things they most like to do, the things that they want to commit their time and their energy to by getting out into the world and exploring these things that they enjoy, spending time with others in groups, just in places where other people are doing the same things, it means you're more likely to connect with other people who also like those same things.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, as I said, you're not likely to meet a new person or have a conversation with someone new if you only do the same things you've always done and you only stay within your comfort zone, and you're definitely not going to meet someone new if you're sitting on your couch watching Netflix all the time, every weekend.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: So while this process is no guarantee that you'll meet your next hot date or you'll uncover or connect with the person you're going to next explore a relationship with, you will be engaging and interacting with other people who enjoy the same things as you do, and you just never know where that will lead.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: You never know who they know, who or what they'll introduce you to, what committing to filling your life and consciously choosing how you spend your time and your energy, you never know where that will lead you.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I also spoke this week in my online content on Instagram about investing.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: Asking the question, asking yourself the question, where am I investing?
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: What am I investing in?
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: So, where are where are you spending your time?
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you spending your energy?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: What are you investing in?
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you spending your time, your energy, and your money?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: This process that I've outlined, this process is an investment.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: Choosing these things, writing them down, discovering or uncovering your themes, choosing activities, choosing your focus, making these lists, and then committing to actually doing them, actioning the lists is an investment in you.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's an investment in what you need, it's an investment in what you most deeply desire, it's an investment in what you want in this next chapter, how you want to spend your time, your energy, your focus, and yes, in some cases, your money.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's an investment in you right now, but it's also an investment in the future, you in your future, in who you want to be, who you want to become, who you want to expand into.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: So working with me one-on-one is also an investment.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I spoke about this in my Instagram stories.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's a choice, it's about what and where you want to focus, it's about what you most value.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: So working with me requires an investment of your time, your energy, and yes, your money, but it's investing in you and it's investing in future you.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if you would like to explore how it can look for you, I do still have spaces for the tail end of the year for 2023, so I can support you to shift your focus to exactly what you want and how you want your 2024 to be.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: As always, there's a link in the show notes to book a call and we can chat that through if that's something that you are interested in.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: But now, back to reclaiming you with where you're focusing your time, your energy, your effort back to you and your lists.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: I really encourage you when you're making these lists to be bold, to be brave, to be a little crazy, to go deep and big and wide with your lists, to write down and even do some of those stretchy and scary things, as well as the small, gentle things that fill your cup.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I encourage you, as I always do, to choose you every day in the big ways and the small ways, in the small, gentle ways and the big stretchy, scary ways.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: Choose you.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for being here.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you know someone who would benefit from listening to this, please share it.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is a rip art, not a I sound so Australian.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is a great episode, I should say, not only for someone going through relationship challenge or divorce.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's a great way to just consciously choose how you're going to show up for yourself in the next phase, the next chapter of your life.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: So please share with someone who you know will benefit.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for being here.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for having me in your ears.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you've enjoyed this episode.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sally Ann Hartnell, Relationship Coach, and you've been listening to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: You can follow me on Instagram at Reflect Coaching, and if you can think of anyone who would love this episode, please, please share it with them.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also be so grateful if you'd follow the podcast and review this episode so we can get it in the ears of a whole lot more humans just like you who are ready to reclaim and liberate themselves in life and love.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you'll join me next month for another episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: Until then.