Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / Diamonds in the Rough: Dear Diamonds (Part 2)

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Diamonds in the Rough: Dear Diamonds (Part 2) · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of Dear Diamonds with
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: myself Teddy Mellencamp and I'm.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Erica Jane and I can't imagine why anybody wants our advice.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I could have either.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, so here we go. Are you ready, Dear Diamonds.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: I'm in school right now, studying to get my bachelor's
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: degree and fear that I'll be stuck living in my
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: hometown for years and years. What did you guys do
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: to overcome the fear of leaving your routine and shooting
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: for the stars? And also curious what your thoughts are
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: in this day and age when it comes to leaving home.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: I'm in California and it's extremely expensive to live on
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: your own.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Best aj Aj, I appreciate you for sharing your name
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: or initials.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like it.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: We appreciate it. I personally think there are some people
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: that look so much to leave their hometown and they
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: don't really want to, and then they end up regretting.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: It, regretting leaving or not.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Leaving leaving, and then I think there's also people that
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: need to leave. And if you need to leave, you're
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: going to feel an overall like earning in your body
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: that you have to do it, and that will give
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: you the strength to be able to do it.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: I'll also say this, if you're graduating right now and
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: you don't have any responsibilities let's say family or kids,
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: do it now, because take the chance now, while you
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: have the zero holding you down, take the leap of faith.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Teddy's right, You're right. If you feel like you need
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: to leave, you will leave.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Nothing will stop you, no amount of I don't have anything,
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: like I remember just it was going to work out,
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: like it was going to work out. I didn't know how,
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: but I knew it was going to so AJ now
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: is your chance to test it? And I know it's
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: expensive here. That's kind of the price for where we live. Yeah,
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: it's overpriced.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: And you can do it in different ways. I mean
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: you can go on Craigslist. You can go and find
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: different roommates. Like my first living situation here, people never
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: believe me, but like I lived in a studio apartment
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: with another girl.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: I remember that, and like it.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Was teeny tiny. We had bunk beds in there. We
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: couldn't afford, but we were living the dream. We were
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: both acting. We worked as hostesses and waitresses and in
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: the mailrooms at different companies. But like we really wanted to.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: We didn't want to leave just because we didn't want
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: to be around our parents.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: No, you wanted to leave because it was something calling you.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there was something bigger calling me. That being said,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: to this day, I'm like, gosh, you know, if I
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: had the opportunity to move back to South Carolina.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: You know what, South Carolina is like a real good
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: right now. It's interesting because you set out to do
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: something like that, nothing will stop you. So if you
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: have that burning desire, it will work out.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: It will work out, and just out.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: And do it now before you have anything holding you.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Back, and then people will start saying things. If you
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: talk about something for too long without doing it, people
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: will start to bring you down.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Well, keep that to yourself, keep your plans close, and
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: you know all of that, all right, Dear diamonds. How
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: do I deal with a selfish brother in law who
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: only takes takes takes. He's my hubby's only brother, so
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: my husband does like to see him, but he's lazy,
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: won't come to visit us, and only wants us to
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: travel to him. Calls my husband a clan what a
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: clan if we don't pick up the bill for a
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: clam a clam like a clam. Okay, and taught his
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: kids to call him uncle no because when he and
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: his two kids lived with us after his wife threw
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: him out, we didn't pay for their entertainment and every win. Well,
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: who is this? I can't even finish this? Hey, my
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: husband wants to see his niece and nephew, but I
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: can barely like be in this guy's presence. Should I
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: grin and barrett or write him off? Or what? Growing
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: in patient sister in law, I'm not down with this now.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I'm not done with this at all.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Took this man in and he's calling your husband these
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: names uncle no and just like and he seems.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Like uncle no, he's the one, the one go anywhere?
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: Hey, stop projecting? How about that?
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: How about that? Growing in patients sister in law? You're
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: doing way more than I would actually.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Do, situation, any of this shit. You'd get one chance
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: with me?
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that maybe your husband should grow a
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: little bit of a pair and say to him, Hey,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: you want to see us, let's meet here. It's halfway.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Let's do something with the kids. I miss you, I
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: love you. You're my brother. But this would be a
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: good plan for us. If if your brother in law
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: financially can't do it, but your brother wants to see
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: him anyway, then yeah, he should pay for it. If
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: he doesn't care to see him, then he should go
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: visit him wherever he is.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Right, But there has to be some effort made by
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: this brother in law to at least show like good faith, like, hey,
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: I want to be around you guys, not you know,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: the bills and the fuck you.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I also want to know what the age gap is.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: I also want to know why who gets to act
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: like this? But I'm at a time, I'm at a
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: place in my life, you know, on patience for that. No,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: you don't either.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I mean I would just assume that the wife is
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: taking over, trying to eliminate the pain that her husband
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: is feeling by doing it all for her.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she feels bad for him, but I.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Would just, you know, kind of cut it as it is.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: And if your brother, if your husband wants to see
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: his brother, he can make the opportunity some time, he.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Can make some effort. Okay, your diamonds, I'm a thirty
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: two year old gay man. I started a friends with
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: benefit thing with this really cool guy about seven months ago.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: He's about seventeen years older than me. We've been hanging
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: out one to three times a week since we met.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: We've gone on a few little trips together and met
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: each other's friends. Recently, I told him I wanted to
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: be ooh.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Recently, I told him I wanted him to be my boyfriend.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I couldn't even get the words out.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: I am so sorry, sir, and he kind of laughed
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: at me and said that he was surprised. I would
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: say that since we started as friends with benefits, it
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: was kind of humiliating, but I let it go and
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: we've still been hanging out.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Since no more hanging out.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Should I keep seeing him even though I asked him
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: out and he rejected me. Or should I stop seeing
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: him and look for someone who actually wants to date me.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: I say you do both. I say you still do
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: the friends with benefits, but get your ass out there
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: and look for other opportunities.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Because this guy has made it very clear, very abundantly clear,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: he wants nothing but friends with benefits.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Right and Cam, he laughed at you. This is Cam, Hey, Cam?
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: He laughed at you, Cam, he can go f himself.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: But in the meantime you can keep effing him. You
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: find something, right, I say, keep him on and like,
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: but then you need to get your sights out there
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: and like get something else.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Going plus and then watches.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: I don't know, forty two fifty something. Okay, you could
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: do better.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: I'm assuming can forty nine.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Thank you forty nine. Really, I know Slate's and honors algebra,
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: but we so I just saw Slate in the house
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: and she's like said, He's like, tell Erica, I'm in
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: honor to algebra. It's like, oh my god, I never
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: even got there, Like.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we we can't even read the dude, diamond, I don't.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know that I have an excuse, because even
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: if I didn't have my excuse, I would still have
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: a hard time reading this farm whatever. You know.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: I got reading glasses, and I keep forgetting to bring them.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: They look like a total fucking geek.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Oh well, guess what I got tented reading glasses, and
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: those are even geek here.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what it's like. Okay, dear Diamonds,
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: I just turned what I just turned three years divorce?
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: I I'm so sorry. I don't know what my I
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: don't know if this is meant. I was like, we
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: gave us this, all right, why'd you get married so young?
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Three years old? Jeers? Who?
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, dear diamonds, I just turned three years divorced on
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: May nineteenth. I'm in a friends with benefit situation. This
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: happened while my marriage was falling apart. I'm quite afraid
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: to ask him if he wants more, because I don't
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: want to be rejected. And we do work together. What
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: should I do? Anonymous shocking?
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: This person's anonymous because they work together and it started
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: before they're messed.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: So first off, let me just tell you something. You're
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: divorced and you need a job. So we're not rocking
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: this boat. Okay, we're not rocking the boat for the dick.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: I would say again, like we just told cam this.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: I am the worst. I think that we keep things
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: status quo, but you need to start looking around.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: But also I think if this started as like a.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: The bad thing is that it's at work. So work
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: comes first when you're when you're born, you got to
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: keep you have to preserve the work thing. Do you
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: see where I'm coming from?
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I I do understand, but I'm curious if this guy
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: was willing to, you know, take it further, take it further,
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: if he was doing it for the thrill.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Of the of the workshit and the marriage shit and
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: all that.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Interested?
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think she could ask in a way
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: slightly less than CAM love you, Cam, but I think
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: she should ask like, Hey, should I be like dating
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: other people? I'm new to this whole thing, and like,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: now I realize I went right from a marriage to
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: a relationship. What is your thoughts on that?
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: What are your thoughts? Like, how are you feeling about this?
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: It's so interesting. I wonder what that's like to have
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: those conversations like what do we do with this?
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah? I mean I have to have some type of
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: the hard conversations with dating, not even hard conversations, but
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: more so like clarity. I most of the time people
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: are asking me because it's weird. Maybe I'm not the
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: most clear.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Is that a real thing? Like I think you're one
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: of the most direct humans I've ever met.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I think I'm direct, but in.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Like romantic situations, you're not there.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I'm direct, but I also you know,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: I've I've had to make it clear to people i've dated, like, listen,
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: kind of this is where I am. This is what
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: I've got. If it's enough for you, great. If it's
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: not enough.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: For you, I understand.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I won't be upset. I mean, yes, my feelings will
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: probably be hurting, but like.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: This is this is really all you got to give.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: This is all I got to give. And if that's enough, great.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Are you still dating the same guy?
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I am still dating the same guy. And I haven't
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: had to say any of those things. But he is
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: really sweet, sweet and kind, Like I know I said
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: that before, No.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: But I saw it, but like it's no, I've seen it.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: I've seen it in real life.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Like he came and picked us up this week from
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: the show and he could like tell that I was down.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: He like sat and watched like one million hours of
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: horror show rounds. Like he's just a good guy. And
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I always say to him, I'm like, listen, you so
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: deserve that. One. I know I deserve it and it's
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: really nice. But two him, like if for some reason
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: you realize you need somebody that doesn't have three kids
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: one million activities to do eighty seven podcasts, like you
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: want more time than I'm able to give. I understand
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: I would not be mad at you for not even
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: a second. He's like, I am willing to do anything
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: to be able to spend time with you.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Do you know what he said to me in the
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: driveway when I first met him, when we were he
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: had to move his gargaz Teddy's such a really good girl,
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: And I said, yeah, she really is. Me is a
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: very sweet spirit about him.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I don't know why he thinks that, but he's very
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: very nice.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: Because Teddy, you know, he knows you differently than like
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: the rest of the people that watch you.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: And I think, also, I know this sounds bananas, but
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: I think I changed as a human being.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: Well, it's so funny because your best friend and I
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: had a long conversation about you this weekend.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: Oh really, what'd y'all say? Am I going to be
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: pissed at?
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: No? I said, I think that you've softened your edges
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: and I see you being very caring and I gave
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: some great examples of how you were supportive of me
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: during this time, this really hard time in your life.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: And I said, I think that Teddy has uncovered a
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: new level of empathy.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to know what's weird what I give
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: hugs now? Because you know why, because I felt what
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: it feels like to maybe never have another.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: That's right, that's right, yeah, and that changes everything everything.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: So I definitely feel like I have a softer side
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: to me. We talked about other people's.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: Time well, and I respect that, like, but I know
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: what you're saying with your with your guy. But I
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: was telling her. I was like, she meaning, you are
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: so You're so soft and you're you asked me, You're like, well,
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: what's going on with you? Like, how are you? And those?
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: I was like, com fine, You're like, no, no, no, Erica,
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: what's really going on? You just have You've grown. It's
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: gonna sound so crazy. You've grown so much during this period,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: I think. And it's really beautiful the.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Way thank you it's it's really been nice. But you're
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: definitely caught through them in the middle, because like, on
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: one side of my life, I recap housewives, I recap
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: you guys, and I'm so petty and so shitty and
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: I and then on the other side, I'm like, I've
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: turned into a freaking softie.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Which is beautiful, which is beautiful.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I can't wait you're a softie, but only behind closed doors.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: I'm a softy behind closed doors. I'm a softie with
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: those that I love and I trust. I am a mushball,
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: and you can ask any like I am. She motherfucking
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: hen But but I don't much like you. I didn't
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: have the luxury of being nice because I was out
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: here trying to like protect myself and be I wasn't
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: in a loving environment all the time. And sometimes when
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: that happens, you can't show that sad.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so AJ, this should tell you you want to
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: come out here, you want to go after it. You're
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: probably gonna have to, you know, Yeah, be a little,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: be a little dicey from time to time to get
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: what you want.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: I agree, all right, let's move on your diamond's. I'm
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: a twenty eight year old woman that's never been in
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: a relationship or ever been on a date.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Oh, have you had sex?
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: My best friend is getting married next year, So now
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: it's really hit me that I myself have never formed
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: a romantic connection with anyone yet. I didn't realize how
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: quickly time was flying by, and I'm wondering if I
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: should just put myself out there or at least try.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Dating problem is how do I meet people to try
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: to form these connections and how do I even get
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: a date? Help this girl out, listen, Alicia. Yes, the
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: answer is you need to live your life. Well you
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: know what you take this Well.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: First of all, Alta, I need to know have you
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: been hooking up?
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Well, let's okay, Well we do need to know this,
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, let us know, but like, have you been
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: hooking up?
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: If you haven't and you enjoy your life of just
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: like hooking up with people casually. I don't think you
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: have to rush into a marriage or a serious relationship
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: or get on dating apps or doing any of those
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: things if you're happy with what you're doing.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: But she's never even been on a date. This is
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: something we need to tackle. She needs to be human
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: beings need touch and companionship, a date.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: A date. Yeah, So I would say this, I would say,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: if you don't know anybody in your friend group that
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: can sell you. I also, I have to say I
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: have a little bit of a red flag. I have
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: a girlfriend that was like this. Yeah, she was older
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: than twenty eight and when this was all going on,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: But a lot of it had to do with the.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: Way she acted, I was gonna say the same thing.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: And I don't know Alicia, and so I hate to
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: say that, but like I wonder if Alicia is very
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: like stubborn, and what.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: If Alicia's scared and she gives off shy vibes and
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: she's not even resonating, you know, because you broadcast out
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: as I know what you want. So maybe Alicia's just
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: maybe she doesn't feel confident, maybe she's shy, maybe she
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: has social anxiety.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Maybe take a look in and see what it is
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: that you want, what you need. I mean, there's a
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: million ways to meet somebody's but.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: You also have to put yourself in places to meet people.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to put yourself. And like, we have
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: a friend who like laughed at me and she's like, teddy,
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: I can't believe. Not she didn't laugh at me in
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: a bad way, but she was like, I can't believe
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: you had the balls to go out with somebody you
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: met online. I was scared and and it wasn't her,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: And I was like, well, of course I don't want
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: to go out with all the same people I already know.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Like if I wanted to be with one of those people,
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: then I would have, but I also don't. I'm not.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: I don't have that shyness to me. But I also
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: think it's easier to sometimes meet somebody completely fresh if
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: like go online and do it, go on a couple
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: of days. They may be terrible, but at least then
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: you'll know how to go on date.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Teddy has a different Teddy has uh. I couldn't do that.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I can't. I can't go online because I just can't.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: I've tried, and Teddy is very confident like that. I'm not.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: I prefer to be meeting someone in real life. And
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: so Alicia like, I don't know whether you're cool going
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: online or not, but I understand if you're not, that's
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: what I'm.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Trying to Yeah, And if you're not, then you have
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: to start being vocal with the people in your life
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: great spend time with or I mean, you can even
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: say certain things like if you have your friend that's
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: getting married and you want to have a plus one
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: and you want to do those things. I know everybody's like,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: no plus ones unless you're in a serious face.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: You're being cheap and they don't want to pay for that.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: You're being cheap.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: So what I would do to start would say, hey,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: can I bring a friend? I've been single our entire
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: time of knowing each other, but apparently you love me
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: enough that you want me to be at your wedding.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Can I bring a friend? We'll stay in the same room, right,
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: do that? Do that, and then get a little tipsy
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: and then go out with your friend that night wherever
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: amazing place this wedding is going to be, and you know, kiss,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: make out with someone, and.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: How about this make out with someone. But then don't
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: rush into anything. You gotta go slow, babystips. I think
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: that you should go out. I think you should. You
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: know you have to. You have to put yourself out
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: there a little bit as uncomfortable as it is.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and Alicia, please slide into my DMS. I bet
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: I could probably find you someone.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you something, if anybody could find it, anybody,
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: let me tell you this bitch.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Right here, I can sign just about anyone to.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Whom ever's listening. This one has a special talent. Like
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: I thought I was good, I got shadowed.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I can find about it, find anything. So yeah, Alicia,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: get on it, Okay.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: Dear diamonds. I was once friends with this guy. And
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: I am no longer anymore, except he keeps trying to
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: reach out to another friend of mine to see me.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: What should I do? He is blocked on everything on
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: my phone? Why Ashley? Actually absolutely no need, no need, Ashley,
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: move on. If he's blocked, he's blocked for a good reason.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: I'm assuming tell this guy to stop fucking Tell your
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: friend to stop talking to this fool, and then tell
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: us talk to him. Don't tell you, that's my point.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Then don't tell her. Don't tell you.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: There is saying, Oh god, hey, Teddy, you know that
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: guard that you hate so much. He's been hitting me
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: up all the time to see you so bad. Look, dude,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: don't hit me up about my friend and break you up.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: Remember the reason why you blocked him in the first place.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: I don't even do that, okay, dear Diamonds. I'm fifty two,
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: have five kids from the ages of twenty four to eleven.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: I am a single parent. Co parent is not reliable, responsible,
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: or helpful in a financial mess. How can I dig
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: myself out? Anonymous Anonymous? Do you have a job?
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: Anonymous Anonymous? This is tough, Anonymous. This would be hard
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: for anybody, because five kids is a shit ton of kids.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Your ex, who your co parent?
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: Who can have fathered these kids? And why isn't he reliable?
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Because he's probably done pay his bills or he's probably
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: a douche lord. This is the majority of people. This
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: is single parenting. This is what so many people go
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: have to go, so.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: Many women have to go through.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think the first way to dig your
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: yourself out is find some happiness. What makes you happy?
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: What makes you happy? You're gonna have to do two things.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: You're gonna have to carve out at least thirty minutes
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: to yourself a day. And then we need to absolutely
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: because if you don't feel good about yourself, you're never
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: gonna wake up with the strength to go get it correct.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: And your kid, Now that I'm looking at the ages
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: of your kids, you're young.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: You shouldn't be responsible, right you should? Yeah, you shouldn't
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: be responsible for a child that's twenty four. So anybody
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: that's over the age of eighteen, they got to get
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: a job and get themselves together. Yeah, so eleven, that's
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: still your responsibility. But anybody like my mother, when I
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: turned eighteen, my mother looked at me, she said, pay
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: rent or get out.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah no, I mean when I'm not taking care of
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: adults out here, they're like, we'll ship your car. That's it.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: That's it, that's it. That's it. So whoever's over the
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: age of eighteen, I'm sorry, playtime is over. You're an adult.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: You are a an able bodied like no, the little ones,
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: that's a different story.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: And I also have this gut feeling that there's probably
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: a lot of resentment towards the cope parenting party in
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: this that you potentially may still have feelings for.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: It is a waste of your time. So waste of
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: your time, waste of your breath. Let it go, move on, Okay, okay, no,
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: go ahead. What were you going to say?
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: No, that was it's a waste.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Now that you've gone through everything that you do, you
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: just look at things like I don't have time. This
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: is stupid.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Well, certain things, I mean they're small things that feel overwhelming,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: but a lot of things that I just say no
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: to right like I'm like, no, no, not interested, not
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: going to do it. And I used to stress about
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: completely unnecessary shit like what am I going to do Friday?
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: What is what plan am I going to make with
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: my kids? This Friday, or like what how do I
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: organize this birthday? Or blah blah blah, and I would
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: overthink things till the frick and cows come home. Now
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: I'm like, if we miss the birthday, it's not one
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: of my kids best friends. They don't even remember.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: It's okay, it's okay.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I'd rather take them and go swimming and do something
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: thing that like, because you know, I'm not legally allowed
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: to drive right now.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: You didn't drive anywhere, but I could.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: At least before drive. But now every moment of every
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: day has to be planned out. Oh my god, yeah,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: because I can't just like zip in my car. I
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: used to be able to like drive my friend La
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Tall's house drives, you know. Like now it's like I
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: either walk or like I walk.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: One of the fuck you walking around for with whom
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: by myself?
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Where anywhere? Oh my god, dear diamonds, We'll.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Let you walk around. I'm not trying to police you,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: but I am like, what the fuck?
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: No, I walk around?
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: Better not be by yourself. That that's not safe.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Not at night, I'm not. I am constantly walking around.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Put an air tag in my wigs and you'll know
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: how I am by mood. She's let today in an
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: uber let it ride around.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: No.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Kyle and Jane god so mad. They're like, why'd you
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: take your fine my friends off? I was like, I
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: don't like y'all finding me. Whenever you want, you better
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: put it back on. I'm not putting it back on.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: I don't like you walking around.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: I like to be free.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: I know you're free, but sweetheart, like you can be
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: out of here walking around. Well, please don't do that.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: The second that you add me to find my friends,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: I'll add you.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: No, you're not, I say this. Nope, none of y'all
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: know what I'm doing in my ass. Okay, anyway, go ahead,
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: dear dim okay.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: Dear diamonds. My husband and I have been together for
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: almost sixteen years. The affection is gone. Is there any
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: way to get to him to love me again? What
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: happens when that is gone? Is there any recovering from that?
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: When we first got together, we were younger, out at
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: the bars, et cetera. He got very sick with pancreatis
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: and had to stop drinking. He is not drinking almost
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: three years he did not.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: I do not know the sober version of him.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: You take it from here.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: I do not know the sober version of him. It
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: was like I was just seeing who he really was.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: We've both been unfaithful in the marriage, but we are
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: committed to staying together making it work. We have no
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: kids together. Is there any saving this or is this
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: just a matter of time before it dissolves? Help Anonymous? Okay,
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: you go, do you what well?
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: I have a couple of things. If there's no love
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: there and you're wondering how to get him to love
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: you and you don't have kids, leave bye.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: I agree, bye bye bye. Also too, if you don't
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: know each other sober and you know you got to
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: drink a lot to get pancreatitis.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: That's the one where like you drink again and you
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: could kick it right.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, pancreatitis is legit.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: And maybe they We don't know you, Anonymous, and we're
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: not judging you either way. But if your sole thing
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: that you guys did together was drinking together, that's not good.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: It's not good because you're never gonna find that that
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: feeling and you.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Don't really an Alcohol and drugs mask your personality so
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: much and you become.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: And loneliness and loneliness they mask loneliness because even though
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: it's like a depressant, it still like gives you that,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Like Joel.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Well, you also have that you drop your social restraints,
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: so you become like this, either angry drunk or fun drunk,
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: whichever you prefer. That's why I don't drink as a rule.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean, it's wonderful that he's sober, but
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: the reality is you two don't know each other.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: But I also wonder if he's sober like you went
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: through the program, or if he's just a dry drunk,
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: because then sometimes the dry drunk they fall off. No,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: their emotions are just the same as when they were drinking.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: A dry drunk means you didn't go to any therapy
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: to gain you just quit. You just quit drinking.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Well, they should be in therapy, both of them should.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: And also if you personally can't stop drinking to be
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: when you to be around him and you don't enjoy
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: your time together not drinking, you're probably not going to No.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: And I think that you know, look, sixteen years, no kids,
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: go live your life. Yeah, I just I don't know,
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: and maybe that like people will criticize me for that,
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: But when I look at things like this. I'm like,
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: you know what, sixteen years is a long time.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I also I wonder how long's it's been
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: like this, Like was it like this before he got sober?
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: You mean that there's no affection? Yes, Well, if you're
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: drinking like this heavily, I doubt you're having a lot
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: of sex, that's true, or even affection, because you know,
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: theo alcohol clouds your personality, It clouds your judgment when
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: that comes first. How can you be affectionate or intimate
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: or anything.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think she's probably feeling guilty because she
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: didn't know the sober version of him, and maybe the
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: sober version of him is very boring.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: Maybe maybe she's maybe they're just.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Or maybe she's still pounding it out and he's trying
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: to stay sobs.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: We don't know if she's drinking or not. We don't know,
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: but it says when we were younger, we were going
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: out in bars and also too, here's the thing. After
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: sixteen years, Yeah, you're both going.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: To change a lot, a lot, a lot. I would
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: say there's a massive change in my life at least
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: every five years. Yeah.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: For you for sure, over five years, five weeks with
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: your ass. I don't know what's going on. I get
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: panicked every fucking day. Oh my gosh, I might know,
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: but it's true. Like remember when I said to you,
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: the last five years of yours in my life is
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: fucking insane.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Yes, I talked to it.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: Do you realize that everybody in our friend group the
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: last five years have been upending, Like all of our
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: lives have turned upside.
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: Down, every single line of us. But by bet, I
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: you know, I don't know if I should be proud
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: of the fact that I was the one that started
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: it all.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: I think you were. I think that I think you
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: should be very proud.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: That start that started all of our lives falling apart.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know that I could be proud of that,
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: But I don't know hold on our lives apart. Yes,
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: our lives fell apart for a reason. I have to
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: believe that from the bottom of my soul.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: And I also have to believe that we're friends during
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: this time to witness each other and help each other
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: through this because our friend group, like everybody's been decimated,
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: I fucking just destroyed. None of our lives look.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: The same, none, none, none.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: It's kind of fun it's kind of unusual for all
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: of us.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: To fall like and just to get over this bs
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: of like. I think it's because you're on a reality
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: television show. I really don't believe it. I saw this
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: thing that I don't even want to mention her name,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: but she's an ex housewife and she says, you know,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I think all these people, and she included us, got
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: divorces because they were on Real Housewives, And I strongly
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: disagree with that. I think my marriage may have lasted
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: longer because I was on Real Housewives.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: I yours for sure. I think that my marriage. I
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: had no intentions of my marriage ending up the way
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: that it did. I was gonna hold just that was
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: not I didn't want to go anywhere I was.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: You know, like, no, you would have figured it out.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: But guys, we love doing these episodes with you. We
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: also are pretty excited because there's something that's coming up. Son.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: What our birthdays? Well, our birthdays?
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: What are you going to do? Oh? I have to
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: reply to your party. Oh I'm so sorry.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: It's okay, I was. I love that we call it
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: a party. It's five o'clock dinner with fifteen people.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a good time. I'm here to celebrate you, honey.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: You never know, but thanks guys for tuning in to
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: another episode of Diamonds in the Rough.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Thanks guys, and we'll be back.