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2022: End Of Year Recap | The Christian Reeve Podcast #190 · The Christian Reeve Podcast

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Well, hello and welcome to another episode of the Christian
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Reef podcast episode 190, the final episode of 2022.
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Today, we're doing a year-end recap for 2022.
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And I've kind of done this before when I've done the
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episodes, where I talk about the, the upcoming year, like
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happy New Year this. And I may still doing episode
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next year for that where I kind of talked about My goals for the
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upcoming year. But right now, I've decided to
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just talk about this year in full, which really truly has
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been a mixture of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, where do I
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even start? It's difficult to say, like I
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think the last two or three months of my life have been
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particularly difficult, It is what it is, but there's been a
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lot of positives, a lot of things, career-wise, as I pursue
1:02
my dreams of acting and voice acting and podcasting, and
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everything else that I'm trying to achieve in life.
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There have been some major pushes forward in this year and
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I guess with me reflecting on this year, I am trying to be as
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hopeful as I can for the upcoming year.
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It's difficult to be sometimes right now, I'm in a very
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stressful situation in every single way possible.
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And it's just weighing on my mind every single day.
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But you know I'm trying to, as best as I can focus on the
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positives like this show has been going, nearly three years
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now three years. 190 episodes. That's mad to think about When I
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first started doing this show, I was just trying to figure out
2:02
what I was doing. You know, I wasn't really sure
2:05
what this was. I think over the course of the
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last three years, it's kind of evolved into a mixture of a
2:13
discussion interview show / An opportunity to kind of look at
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life in different ways with different perspectives and just
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learn something, you know, or have fun.
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And I must say I'm enjoying this way more than I used to.
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And I have said that in more recent shows but something's
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changed. I think I just enjoy creating
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content more now because I'm not so hung up on my numbers as much
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as I used to be. I'm just like Trying to make
2:48
things happen and trying to enjoy it as best I can and make
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it as good as possible for the handful of people that are
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checking out. I love you all.
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Thank you so much. Let's just jump straight into
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it. I had a sales job at the
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beginning of this year it was the best paid job I've ever had.
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I was working for a private healthcare company that was
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doing a lot of work with the NHS.
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And it felt very rewarding to be honest.
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I was very apprehensive about going for this sales position
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because I hate sales, not for me.
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I've done telesales before very briefly at my University, but
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that again that was for like a charity, sort of, it's for the
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University like getting old ex-students to you know, support
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the university and support current day students.
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So it felt somewhat rewarding and And this, I remember going
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for the interview going in there with the CEO and the CEO, oh,
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and they were really lovely from the get-go.
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And I remember realizing within the first 10 minutes, this isn't
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going to work. This isn't for me.
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Why did I even go for this? I think I went for it because it
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was like, a contract freelance deal.
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That's exactly what I was looking for at the time.
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And so, you know, I went for it and it turned into it went from
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me trying to sort of gauge what they were doing and then trying
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to sell the job to me. And then me kind of deciding
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this is not for me, in the course, Midway through the
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course of the interview and then they were trying to convince me
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that I should give it a go. Like they hadn't kind of come
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out and said that I got the job, but it was like, they were
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trying to convince me, I should should go for this.
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It's a very weird situation. Yeah.
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I think a few days later, they employed me and we started
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working together and it was perfect originally, I was doing
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four days a week, went down to three days a week.
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At one point we'll get back to that and you know best paid job
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I've ever had working from home brilliant.
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There's no there's nothing really - I could say about the
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job as far as that was concerned in the in the very beginning and
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you know I mean it started to kind of go south once.
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The CEO decided to cut my hours, which is fine, it's contract
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work. It's, you know, this is the name
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of the game, it's business. Sometimes, they don't need you.
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That's the way these things happen sometimes, but the way
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they try to go about it or the way they CEO tried to go about
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it very shady. Very shady indeed.
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So instead of just being like, hmm, we need to cut your hours.
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We want to pay you less Which would be fine.
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It's not great, but it would, I would understand.
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Instead he decided to ask me if I was taking breaks.
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And I assumed, he meant Holliday, I don't know why but I
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my head went straight to holiday and I was like, haha, well I'm
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self-employed so you know I don't get breaks but I'm fine
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with our Arrangement those pretty much exactly my words to
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him. He then started going on about
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how he was doing this like audit.
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Well there was a third Party company doing like an external
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audit and that they needed to check that.
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I was taking my regular breaks. I'll see what.
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And I said, well, I mean, I just have a bit of food before the
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shift or after this year, for them.
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It's fine. I'm not home.
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Anyway, if I need to take a break, our will, but I never
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used to take proper breaks because I was at home, chilling,
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getting the work done wasn't very strenuous.
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But they were he was insisting that you need to take these
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breaks the dirt and I'm like, okay fine.
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And then it escalated into him talking about Somehow like
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paying me less but I would still work the same hours and I said,
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listen. One or two things.
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It's one it's one of the other either you're cutting my hours
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and you're cutting my pay, which I understand or we continue the
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arrangement as before. And we're on our merry way,
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which is he then weirdly said oh let me talk to HR.
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Let me talk to the investment board.
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I'll get back to you and I was like, I think I've rambled this
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guy. I mentioned it to my boss who
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never had any inkling that this had even happened and he was
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annoyed about that and she had have crosswords with him.
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Because here's the thing when you work in a really really,
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really small company like a start-up and It's got very flat
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structure, you'll get instances where someone will be your
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manager, but then sometimes you'll get like people higher up
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in the company that will just randomly message.
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You on apps like slack and start giving you work and you're like,
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doesn't this kind of undermine what my boss is getting me to
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do? Shouldn't the message?
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Come through them? Shouldn't they know, shouldn't
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they be aware of it? That's not how business is rice.
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Not how people always roll. And so there were a lot of
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instances like that and towards the end the CEO was getting very
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impatient. Yeah.
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Get us to start working on a project in two weeks in they'd
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be like why is why have we not seen any progress in?
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It's like it's been two weeks, give it at least a month.
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Then we'll see where we're at. And it just so happened that our
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method of contact wasn't very effective phone calls within
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HHS. It's not very effective.
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They're busy trying to save people's lives and other stuff
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than they're overworked and underfunded.
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It's not worried either way to get through to these people.
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And this particular CEO expected us to kind of call up and FIB
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about having appointments booked, when we didn't just so
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that we could get through to them, which I was like, I'm not
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doing that. That's Wrong copy doing that.
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So yeah, well, it was what it was, you know, it is what it is,
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but that's when I began to see problems with continuing to work
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there. And then fast forward to about a
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month and a half before. I was about to leave.
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I wasn't sure I was going to leave.
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What happened was I came back from like, either some time off
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for a weekend, excuse me, and My boss just randomly said I'm
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leaving and I was like, whoa, what the fuck?
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And then he was like yeah and there's a lot of reasons why I
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did it and I was like, oh shit and he started to tell me why
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and then it became like really a parent.
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Like just had the problems that were inherent in this company
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particularly with the CEO and as I do shit and it I said I had to
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sit and think about whether or not I was going to stay because
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I really got on well with this this manager But I didn't see
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much of a future with this CEO because he seemed very erratic,
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very intelligent, but very erratic.
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And you need some You need some consistencies and structure
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within your workplace. You can't just be Balls to the
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walls. Just all over the place.
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You know you need some structure within the chaos.
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That's just how it works. Anyway a week later find out the
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other sales guys leaving and now I'm like oh shit.
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Now I really gotta make up my mind. and so I went back and
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forth for me and I wasn't entirely sure what to do and how
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to approach etcetera and then It got closer to the end of the
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month and as I write, okay? These guys are about to leave
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this CEO. Must have a plan for me moving
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forward. And the time just keep going on
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on nothing. Nothing.
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Nothing. Nothing.
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They'll eventually he reaches out to me and he lays down
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somewhat of a plan but it's basically like I was gonna do
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sales demos for the company having had no experience with
11:02
that or training or anything like that.
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So I'd say essentially be taking on the responsibilities of the
11:08
sales manager without having been prepped or train for them
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and I just had zero confidence in that I was like theirs.
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How can I be confident in this moving forward?
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How can I work in this organization?
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When there's no support, pushing me into a new thing?
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You know? I mean it's just there was
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nothing really too. Be confident in I suppose and
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that kind of ultimately led me to the decision to leave and it
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wasn't easy because as I said before, three days a week
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working from home, best paid job I've ever, had felt like a moron
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for leaving but I just, I can't we work with people.
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I don't trust, it's very important.
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You need to be able to trust the people you work with and I just
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couldn't. And so, that was an interesting
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start to the year. I think I was with them.
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So the tail end of 2021 and I sort of left the mid-year, I
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found myself in a freelance writing job with an agency.
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And, you know, I've been doing freelance writing for marketing
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since I got my degree back in 2017. 2018.
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So it's something that I always do and I always apply for and
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get stuff here and there, it's just the nature of the game
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freelancing. But this was the first time I'd
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had a bad experience, where I started working with this
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agency. Everything was fine for about a
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month and a half. And they were telling me where
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work was really good, and they were really happy and
12:45
everything's going well. And then a month and a half
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later. This manager just gets back to
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me and says, nor all of this is wrong, he needs to be changed
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and I was really perplexed by this because we had an editor on
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staff. Who would check through all this
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work, presumably he did random checks as well.
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Obviously couldn't check everyone's work but he would
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have done random checks here and there for quality assurance
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purposes, right? It just kind of perplex me how
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suddenly there's an issue with the work suddenly.
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There's all sorts of problems that need to be fixed and this
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kind of continued for the next. Few weeks until it got to a
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point where his unbearable and I dreaded having to write articles
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because I never knew what they were going to say or what they
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were going to change constantly far.
13:29
The goal posts will be moved as I can't work with this.
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I just can't. And at the time I had floated
13:34
the idea of just pulling some random bar shifts alongside what
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I was doing. Just so I had different sources
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of revenue that I could rely on because I've been freelancing
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for a while now. So it makes sense to try
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different things, right? anyway, I do this and then fast
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forward to like a week or two later.
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And this guy's saying like oh yeah yeah your work is I can't
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publish this. This is awful did a this nice
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change this things change. I need to bring in other writers
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that I'm going to pay to fix your work.
14:09
And as I, okay, fine, just do what you need to do.
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I just need to get my final check, but they started with
14:15
holding my final check and so I was like, what do I do?
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I got paid the rent, like, what the fuck?
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Give me my money. You know, I understand that
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you've decided to rewrite some of these in charge.
14:27
Writers but pay me what? I've earned so far and we can do
14:32
a gentleman's agreement and we'll go our separate ways and
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eventually we did that, but it was a real pain in the ass just
14:38
getting that set up and it was just unnecessary for it to go
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down like that. And that's kind of how I ended
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up falling back into bartending. Which little after five years of
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being away from customer services, working in marketing,
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I had never envisioned myself being back in customer services
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and working as a bartender again and I like bartending it's fine
15:05
but let's long hours, terrible, pay difficult situations and
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it's not what I imagined doing at this point in my life. 29.
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I turned 30 next year and I work for minimum wage and a bar. and,
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It is what it is, but it's getting increasingly more
15:29
difficult. I'll talk about what's going on
15:31
right now, so they've, they've cut my hours.
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I was getting consistent hours regularly, there was enough to
15:41
pay my bills, and just get me going along.
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And now, for the first week of January moving forward, they've
15:46
cut my hours and now, I don't know what to do.
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I'm looking for jobs. I have been looking for jobs the
15:52
past couple of months and it comes at the most inconvenient
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time. I'm about to move into a new
16:00
place. I'm I'm Ill.
16:05
I'm really ill ever got the flu or some shit.
16:07
I've been ill for the last week and I'm trying to balance all
16:10
this stuff that I'm doing online as well and it's just like, I
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feel like I'm facing everything all at once.
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And that's largely what this year has been in a nutshell.
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I covered some of this in my reflecting on Life episode
16:24
recently so go check that out but that's what this likeness
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this year has been. This year has been a true kind
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of up and down and up down and up and down situation and it's
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not been easy and it's been a real test of my mental health
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and then it's been positive, things like hitting the gym and
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working hard in the gym. And, you know, that's been a
16:43
positive and I can't complain about that.
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And I wouldn't want to, I don't like, Planing surprise surprise,
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I don't mind ranting and getting out getting out my system.
16:53
I don't like sitting there like standing at the bar and just
16:57
having the weight of the world, seemingly on my shoulders and
17:00
sitting and feeling like that. Well, I being in live streams
17:03
and trying to be positive, but just feeling like utter shit and
17:06
bad about myself. Like, I don't like feeling that
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way. I certainly don't want want to
17:11
make others feel bad, as a result of how I feel.
17:16
It's just this constant pressure all the time that just makes me
17:20
feel. Like it's difficult to be
17:23
positive about what's coming next because I just feel like
17:26
more shit is coming my way. So I was gonna happen next.
17:30
What new crap will I have to deal with?
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You know, it's I just need a fucking break.
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And I don't mean a holiday. I mean, I need some luck.
17:40
I need to catch a break and get somewhere with this acting
17:45
something. Maybe the online stuff.
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I don't know anything. I need to start finding away.
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To earn a living from doing what I'm doing here with acting music
17:57
podcasting live streaming content creating and I'm trying
18:00
my best to juggle it. All right now But I don't know,
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maybe I'm not trying hard enough.
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I feel like I am but maybe I'm not, I don't know.
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I just, I look around me. I see people being successful.
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I see people working hard. I see them, you know, prospering
18:22
from the fruits of their labor and I wonder that.
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Could that be me one day? Do I deserve that?
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Will I ever achieve that over? This always just be a pipe
18:31
dream. Well, this always just be
18:34
something I'm chasing but never achieving I don't know. but I
18:41
know that I'm mentally and physically exhausted from having
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Started to, you know, work back in customer service has again
18:50
and I can't help but feel somewhat like a failure
18:54
sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if I should
18:57
have just stayed in marketing and bit the bullet and just been
19:00
miserable. But hey at least I got a job and
19:02
a salary, right? But I just can't force myself to
19:05
be happy or passionate about things.
19:07
I'm not passionate about. Whenever I do acting, I feel so
19:12
passionate. I love it so much.
19:14
I love live streaming, I love doing this podcast.
19:16
I always feel passionate about it.
19:17
I get excited about it like a sit and write my notes.
19:20
Like, I've got here and I just get like giddy about it.
19:24
I'm like, oh, what am I going to get to do next?
19:26
Or I've got some ideas? You know, I've got some new
19:29
ideas, this is going to be fun. This could be interesting people
19:31
going to enjoy this and then you get the feedback back and people
19:34
are like, yeah, I really liked this episode and could you do
19:37
stuff about this? And I'm like yes, let's do it.
19:42
Why can't I do it for a living? Yeah, so that's how it is
19:50
anyway, but it's not all bad. I think bartending has been
19:55
great for my self-confidence. It's an opportunity to practice
20:00
communication skills, just public speaking.
20:03
All of that. I just have fun everything from
20:05
just having a laugh with the customers sometimes flirting
20:08
with people just having fun. I do enjoy that element of it if
20:13
it wasn't just such long hours and tricky bits here and there,
20:17
it would be the perfect job, but it's yeah, I just I kind of just
20:22
can't work for anyone anymore, not in the traditional sense
20:26
acting, I could do it, but I can't work for companies
20:30
anymore. I feel like those days should be
20:33
behind me by now. And I don't want to doing man.
20:39
I'm just trying to make ends meet but even that seemingly as
20:42
an issue. But anyway let's let's not try
20:45
to dwell too much. Let's try to move forward and
20:47
keep this somewhat positive. It's an end-of-year recap, I
20:51
will try to keep it positive twitch and Tick-Tock.
20:53
So I group these together because in the year 2022 for a
20:59
while I was streaming on Twitch with my regular Community, my
21:03
community, my wonderful friends. And followers and we had a lot
21:09
of fun on there and it was cool and we reached some new people
21:13
here and there but Tick-Tock is better for reaching people.
21:18
You can't deny that and when I finally was able to stream again
21:23
via my second account, when I got enough followers on that, I
21:25
returned to tick tock and we've been streaming there ever since
21:29
and I think it was the right move ultimately I certainly have
21:36
enjoyed being back there and seeing what we can do with it
21:39
and whatnot, but I feel like more could be done to make them
21:49
better in terms of like growing very difficult to grow on Twitch
21:54
Tick-Tock is easy to grow But It's tricky to keep people's
21:58
attention. You know, if you if you do gain
22:00
fans, you you will likely have loyal fans there.
22:04
And And I'm very grateful to the people that have checked me out
22:07
and I've checked out the other types of content that I do.
22:10
One thing I've changed recently is I advertise myself a lot more
22:16
when there's new people around? I will plug myself like crazy
22:20
when I end an episode. I always mention all these
22:23
places that they can check me out and that they can, you know,
22:27
help help me out like patreon.com slash Christian read
22:32
or follow me on Instagram at And pka of official Tick-Tock
22:37
Christian PK Reeve official. Yeah, make sure you get those
22:39
plugs are in there and look on the podcast.
22:41
Christian. Yeah, I guess I've played the
22:46
traditional salesman again and it's worked somewhat where we're
22:50
beginning to grow somewhat of a following both on Instagram
22:55
Tick, Tock, and also with these podcasts and these other forms
22:58
of contact. I actually have patreon
23:00
subscribers now, like, somewhat, I think it seems like a loyal
23:05
fan base and, and more importantly, which I need to
23:08
mention here which something is new is I created a series called
23:12
life with Christian Reeve for the patreon patreon.com slash
23:17
Christian Reeve and It's given me an opportunity to help to
23:25
Brand the podcast better, because now I've got an outlet
23:29
life with Christian. Reeve is just me telling
23:30
stories, right? It's an opportunity to just sit
23:34
and listen to me talk about things and I do do that here on
23:38
the podcast. But it will often tend to be
23:41
more about a specific topic and not really about me.
23:44
I might share my stories experience about something, but
23:46
generally, I try to keep it just about the topic, right?
23:49
And then, Most of the discussions are centered around
23:55
the person, my guest, so you don't really get to sit.
23:58
And listen to me, share stories, unless I might sometimes share
24:02
them with guests on the show or whatever the case may be.
24:06
But now, there's an outlet and it's also an opportunity to give
24:09
people an update on what's going on in my life and to rant a
24:12
little bit as well. Which I've been doing lately
24:15
quite a bit but It's always fun to do something new to try
24:22
something new, do something a bit different.
24:25
And I've been trying to make the most of my opportunities to do
24:30
new things wherever I can. I've tried lots of different
24:32
content types this year, but yeah, setting up that patreon.
24:38
I'm really actually giving people something new.
24:41
Something valuable has been a real proud achievement of mine
24:44
and also just the podcast podcast getting sponsored was
24:46
big. Even though it's just by anchor,
24:49
which is are the host platform, which enabled me to get on
24:52
Spotify and apple podcasts, Etc. I was able to record my own ad
24:56
read for it. I can see that I'm slowly
24:58
earning money for it and nowhere near being able to cash out or
25:01
anything. But to me it was more important
25:04
to just get the sponsorships for the validity to feel like the
25:10
show is more reputable. Now now that it's got a sponsor
25:14
like it just feels like a big deal to me and hopefully one day
25:18
or track news. And Susan will really get the
25:21
show on its feet and moving forward because I am proud of it
25:25
and I'm proud of what we've achieved with the show.
25:28
And I feel like, it's only just the beginning.
25:31
We're only three years in and so much more to come so much more
25:35
we can do with the show, you know.
25:38
But anyway, I did a commercial for a company called bad squid.
25:43
Oh games. Shout out to them.
25:44
Had any Norman, the CEO of the company on my show and I did a A
25:49
commercial for her where I provided a voice over and did
25:53
some voice acting for a product that she was selling called the
25:57
tree pan. And this is my opportunity to
26:00
just be absurd, and silly, and have fun with voices.
26:04
But also I think it was Amazing. Because this person had reached
26:09
out to me on Instagram, they'd seen me in live streams online.
26:13
They decided to take a risk on me and reach out and be like,
26:16
hey, would you be interested in doing this?
26:18
I absolutely jumped at the opportunity and that's the same
26:24
with the podcast as well. People have been reaching out to
26:26
me. So it's not always me trying to
26:29
reach out to people. It's people reaching out to me.
26:31
Eva recognizing my work somewhere or someone has
26:34
introduced them to my work and they've been like impressed.
26:37
Then they decided to approach me.
26:39
So that is amazing because I suppose it demonstrates.
26:44
The my work is beginning to attract interest in a positive
26:50
way. Certainly in a work way.
26:53
So maybe I'm doing something right there and that's happening
26:58
more and more. I did ADR work for Channel 4.
27:02
I didn't even know what a VR was until this year.
27:07
It was a brilliant experience. We went to some Warehouse in
27:10
Manchester and I was in a room with like seven other voice
27:15
actors. Some of whom have have been
27:17
doing it for like 20 years. All lovely people.
27:21
And we basically just stood in this recording room with
27:25
different microphones and we would take turns switching
27:28
around and we would sit and just make up conversation with each
27:31
other, we'd watch the screen and we'd pretend to make up.
27:37
Nations around what people might be saying, literally is we got
27:41
paid several hundred pounds to just talk nonsense.
27:46
Improvised unfor, it's worth. I am quite good at
27:49
improvisation. It's something of luckily been
27:52
gifted with, and I'm able to do and this was a perfect
27:56
opportunity to showcase that and we did some pickups later for
27:59
some other shows as well. But it was amazing to be able to
28:02
do something for a company like channel for.
28:05
It wasn't directly Affiliated, but As for a show that they'll
28:08
be doing or releasing later in the year, I think if if it's not
28:12
on TV already but that was amazing.
28:14
And I got contacted randomly about it, I just jumped at the
28:18
chance and that's what it seems to be like for acting and voice
28:21
acting in my career so far. It's like I get these random
28:25
opportunities out of nowhere and then they'll be like loads of
28:28
light time where I don't have any work going on and then
28:30
suddenly I have more work going on.
28:32
So it's It's kind of a special feeling and I try to take every
28:39
situation as an opportunity. So like right now that first
28:42
week of January, where I don't have enough hours to make ends
28:46
meet, I'm thinking. All right, That means I have
28:50
lots of days off to do things, to get things done.
28:52
So there's no excuses. No, I should use that time and
28:57
work my ass off and try to make things happen.
29:01
That's what I should do. So that's how I see it.
29:05
With every bad situation, comes a good opportunity at one point
29:10
this year, I auditioned for a viking Style, movie makes sense,
29:15
right? Long hair.
29:16
And there are some good talking points of This audition, it was
29:19
the first time I've ever auditioned for something that
29:23
had hand to hand combat. And so they wanted us to
29:27
practice for hours, practice and memorized like fighting
29:33
sequences. There was another guy there.
29:36
Shoutout to Gaston, he probably won't see this, but he, that was
29:40
probably the best thing about that experience was being gassed
29:42
and he's an actor from Newcastle really, really good dude.
29:45
And it's kind of funny because we were in the Some sort of Jim
29:51
and we were warming up, and it came to a point where people
29:56
were choosing their partners that they were going to do some
30:00
more exercises with or something.
30:02
And we both just looked at each other immediately when they met
30:06
when they, when they spoke about partners and it was kind of like
30:09
a nod, like yes, like I want to fucking train with that guy.
30:13
Is that kind of situation that I looked?
30:15
At this guy this guy's cool when he was like feeling the same way
30:18
about me. And yeah, and then we did our
30:22
auditions which were really weird and I wasn't really sure
30:27
what to make of them. And plus we found out we were
30:29
going for the same role, but we both kind of felt like it would
30:33
make more sense. If I played the bad guy and he
30:37
played the good guy because he had a good guy look, and I had a
30:39
bad guy look. And it would have we act, we
30:41
seem to have chemistry. So I hope one day we'll get to
30:45
work on something together because I feel like we could do
30:46
something really good together. But that experience it was
30:51
interesting. Ultimately I think It was weird
30:56
because I remember, I had the director on my like as a friend
31:01
on Instagram because, you know, on acting sexy, always follow
31:04
people back and stuff and I'll just say on a side note, I've
31:07
had a lot of instances with both on a professional sense, and
31:10
also a friend sense where I'll reach out to someone and then
31:16
they just fucking read my messages and then don't respond.
31:19
That is Ghost, you that's not normal, is it?
31:23
I can understand if I was like harassing someone or something,
31:26
but I'll just say like perfectly normal, platonic things, and
31:29
then people just don't respond. Do better people.
31:33
I always reply to people. I was get back to people.
31:36
I just don't understand this kind of shitty mindset.
31:41
Like I mean I was just left thinking, I guess this guy just
31:44
isn't very professional. Then, you know, it's like at
31:47
least have the decency to just turn around and be like, oh,
31:49
sorry, we're not interested, or hey, I don't think your idea is
31:52
very good because what I pitched him was what I told you before,
31:55
this idea, that me and this guy had great chemistry, it might be
31:58
a good idea for his film. If we would give this a go, That
32:01
would be great. And then I thanked him for the
32:03
opportunity, we've got a message eventually like an email,
32:07
telling us that production was stilled and we might get they
32:12
might pick it up later next year or something but I was mentally
32:17
checked out after that. I was like man I like how you're
32:19
going to like message me I'm going to message you on
32:21
Instagram and then used to ghost my messages and this has
32:24
happened with other instances as well like women in my life and
32:29
Yeah, it's kind of made me just resigned to the fact that I'm
32:32
just done completely done with chasing relationships.
32:36
I'm no longer interested. Like it would have to take
32:38
someone pretty special. That was willing to like change
32:41
my mind because right now I'm like y'all.
32:44
Just y'all just mean and rude and I don't have the energy to
32:51
chase people. I'm not, you know, I don't do
32:53
that under games. I just want someone who's normal
32:57
who just treats people with respect.
32:59
T' is that so much to ask and is that the same is true of
33:03
professional work, you know, I just want to work with
33:06
straightforward people who aren't unprofessional.
33:10
I just don't understand why people can't be straightforward
33:12
with each other while. They're always has to be games.
33:14
Played or people are polite to each other or people are shitty
33:18
with each other. Like I don't get this, it's just
33:22
frustrating to me. And I think it's unnecessary and
33:26
very Unbecoming and just rude but whatever, you know what I
33:32
mean. I just it's it is what it is.
33:36
Dodgy foreign commercials, right?
33:38
So I did some stuff for a company based in Manchester
33:43
production company and look is exactly what it says on the tin.
33:48
You know we were doing this stuff for like a foreign client.
33:52
They were very hazy about giving information.
33:54
Nation, but they didn't give information to anyone.
33:56
We some people were in, you know, investigators and they
33:59
would find out for themselves. But most people didn't know
34:01
about this company and I found out a few weeks back after
34:05
having done, lots of different commercials for this company.
34:08
That and I only ever played like an extra in the background,
34:11
like, pretend to be like a cameraman or something, but I
34:13
found out I made the BBC News. That's right.
34:16
This ugly mug was on BBC News because this company was found
34:23
out to be fake. Obviously, and if you went on
34:26
YouTube, you'd see that clearly is it was kind of hilarious but
34:30
it's weird like all these scenarios they got us to act out
34:33
but there's a lot of companies that do this that get paid
34:36
actors to pretend to work for them and then they get found out
34:40
as being like fake or that. I think that that was it.
34:42
The company was exposed as being a scam and we all kind of knew
34:45
it would be a scam but has nothing to do with us.
34:48
We're just actors that were paid to recreate these weird
34:52
scenarios for them. So So yeah, I'm sorry to hear.
34:56
If if anyone got scammed by that company, I had nothing to do
35:00
with it, sorry to hear that. But yeah, this shit happens.
35:06
I guess you have to be careful with these investment style
35:08
companies. Moving forward.
35:12
I did an Alan Turing, documentary.
35:19
I provided narration And voice acting for a now entering
35:24
documentary. And it's one of the things I'm
35:26
most proud of. I couldn't believe getting the
35:31
opportunity to do this and ensuring is an amazing man and
35:37
it was, it was very difficult sitting and reading these
35:41
letters and then recreating that and learning about his life.
35:45
Because, you know, I knew the basics about him but I didn't
35:47
realize the extent of things and it was very tough to do know a
35:53
lot of pickups for this and everything but the experience
35:57
really gave me a lot of faith and belief in myself that I
36:00
could pull off more serious things and I could That maybe
36:05
I'm going somewhere with this. Maybe I'm not kidding myself,
36:08
maybe I've got something that that is worth something when it
36:12
comes to acting voice acting, maybe I don't know.
36:17
I'm certainly trying very hard to make it a reality but this
36:22
was One of those projects that kind of made me feel like valid
36:28
like what I'm doing my efforts are not wasted.
36:31
Essentially, it's been a very good experience and yeah, that's
36:37
all I have to say about that. Really, I hope that I get to go
36:41
to the premiere parent, it's going to Premiere in London and
36:44
I hope that it becomes a big deal.
36:47
You never know. Maybe it will.
36:50
Fingers crossed. I'm finally moving out for those
36:55
people who have been following me for a long time.
36:57
You'll know that I have had a very difficult situation in the
37:01
place that I have lived for nearly three years.
37:03
Now would be three years in February, but I'm moving up
37:06
before then. It's been three years in
37:08
Manchester. It's been a fucking nightmare
37:11
for various reasons. There's been good spells but
37:14
it's mostly been very, very difficult now.
37:17
I'm finally getting the opportunity to move out and I
37:19
could not Be happier. I would have liked to have moved
37:23
out at least a year ago, but sometimes things get in the way,
37:27
but here we are right now with the opportunity to move out and
37:34
I feel a tremendous sense of relief that I finally get to
37:39
leave after all this time and everything I've been through,
37:43
we're still not out of the woods.
37:44
There's still shit to sort out and stuff but He just feels like
37:50
a relief, like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders,
37:52
and I can begin the next stage of my life.
37:54
And I'm moving closer into the city of Manchester says, like a
37:58
new chapter, which is kind of exciting.
38:03
Excited to see what happens next.
38:04
Yeah, I'm very hopeful for this upcoming year.
38:07
I want it to be like, I know it's cliche does as it sounds
38:11
but like A new year, new opportunity for me, you know,
38:15
like I turned 30 next year, guys.
38:19
This is the final year of my 20s and my 20s has been difficult.
38:26
It's brought a lot of life lessons is had good moments, but
38:29
it's mostly just been challenging and difficult and
38:32
not what I imagined it to be like I knew that I don't life
38:35
would be difficult, I didn't realize it'd be this difficult.
38:39
I know what I want now in life. I know what I expect of life.
38:42
I know what I deserve in life. Whether or not I get, it is
38:47
another story. But at least now, I know Before
38:52
I didn't and there were a lot of life lessons I had to learn and
38:55
I'm still learning. But it's been tough.
39:01
It has been tough. I hope my thirties.
39:04
Treats me better everyone. I've met that's you know, older
39:09
than me. Says that your thirties is like
39:11
one of the best times in your life.
39:12
I really hope that's true, because I need some positivity,
39:19
but to say, there isn't any positivity in my life because
39:21
there is plenty, it's plenty that I'm grateful for.
39:24
But, you know, when you think about the overall of everything
39:28
in your life and where you're at at different points in your
39:30
life, you know? You always look back and think
39:33
why? I'm only but I am I in a better
39:36
position than I was saying a year ago, five years ago
39:39
whatever. I feel like mentally I am right
39:43
now, but then circumstance wise, I feel like I'm Not in control,
39:50
like everything's kind of fucked.
39:53
But something always works out eventually.
39:56
That's what I've understood about life.
39:57
Like, something always works out, eventually you just kind of
40:00
have to stay the course and hope for the best and not panic, and
40:05
it's very normal for me to worry and overthink and panic, but I
40:09
feel like maybe Just maybe. Something good is coming.
40:17
I hope so so much. So much, please be my year 2023.
40:27
All right, let's move it. Forward questions from Vilma,
40:32
shout out the Vilma. Thank you so much.
40:35
Yeah. What are your three favorite
40:37
episodes of the podcast in 2022? And why?
40:42
Gosh let's try think off the top of my head I think the some of
40:46
the ones that stand out getting to episode 150 was a big deal.
40:51
Just because it's 150. Yes, big number.
40:57
It was cool because that guy then went on to be featured on a
41:01
Netflix documentary and then inevitably my episode of the
41:04
show of the podcast. Got got a bunch of views as a
41:08
result. So that was cool.
41:12
I love every episode, I know that's a cop-out.
41:14
But here Mia I love every episode because every episode
41:18
gives me Different life lessons. I most of most of the time
41:24
whenever I walk out of a podcast, I sit there for like
41:27
5-10 minutes, just thinking about like wow, that was an
41:30
experience that I got something from that.
41:34
I learned from that. Like it's almost like a very
41:37
selfish Endeavor in the sense that like, yeah, I put this
41:39
content out and it's for you guys and stuff, but I get a lot
41:43
from it. And sometimes it's like
41:45
reaffirmation of like, Hey kid, just keep going, keep trying,
41:48
and eventually all work out like so many of my guests have like
41:52
inspiring life, stories, become like multi millionaires or
41:57
whatever, they successful business people, Etc.
42:00
And they've had a very difficult lives, right?
42:03
And it's all about staying the course, and being true to
42:05
yourself, Self and working hard and persevering.
42:08
It gives me hope. And it's amazing that these
42:11
people would ever agree to be on my show and that is very
42:15
flattering and I'm very grateful that I've been able to create a
42:20
platform where people would be willing to have those
42:23
conversations with me and share those stories and I've been very
42:27
blessed to do it and I want to continue to do it and I just
42:34
love doing it every single time every episode feel special to me
42:39
and also I'm proud that I'm doing more of the discussion
42:43
episodes where it's just me, that's something that I vowed.
42:47
I would do more of and I've done several recently, here's another
42:51
one of them, right? And they going well, they're
42:54
getting better. I feel confident in my ability
42:57
to sit and talk for like an hour and keep this conversation going
43:02
even though it's just with myself and I'm just talking
43:04
endlessly for like close to an hour or whatever.
43:08
But I still use the same structure that I always use in
43:12
order to keep it flowing and also because you know me, I hate
43:16
editing one of avoid as much as possible.
43:21
But yeah, I feel like I've achieved my goals.
43:24
When it comes, when it comes to that, what is it?
43:27
You've achieved in 2022 as regards to the podcast that has
43:30
made you most proud getting a sponsor or oh my God, that
43:34
happened so randomly. And it happened almost like by
43:38
mistake. I didn't realize for ages in my
43:40
anchor portal that there was an option to get sponsored and earn
43:43
money and it was with anchor. And I was like, hey what's this?
43:48
And I looked into it and I discovered like oh hey I can get
43:51
sponsored by them and oh I can do my own voice over and they'll
43:55
put it in all these different clips or spot.
43:58
Sorry, I was like, oh wow, that's amazing.
44:02
And just having the satisfaction.
44:06
Of achieving that meant so much to me and also just continue in
44:10
the show in general, getting to 190 episodes.
44:14
This Mega I've seen so many podcasts come and go and mines
44:20
continued. And I've not really thought
44:24
about it. I've just kept it going.
44:26
You know me, I've not really. I set myself a goal of at least
44:29
getting to 10 years and we'll see what happens when we get
44:31
there but three years in, you know, close to 33 years in and
44:36
it's I feel like it's better than ever for.
44:40
Like we actually finally figured out what the show is and where
44:44
it's going and what it means. Yeah, I'm very proud of this
44:49
this show. And I want it to continue to get
44:52
better. If you had to set yourself three
44:55
goals that you would like to achieve in 2023 about the
44:58
podcast, what would they be? Well, get more sponsors and more
45:03
money from the show too. Get physical Studio.
45:11
It's an ace in the Realms of possibility, but whether I could
45:15
rent a studio or I could build my own one other two.
45:19
I would love to just have a permanent base for the podcast.
45:21
I'd prefer to have my own Studio or a permanent base where I
45:25
could just do the show and have physical guests.
45:27
All my God, that's a big one. I want to be able to have people
45:31
show up and like I don't know, I filmed them with like proper
45:36
cameras, professional lighting, equipment and recording
45:38
equipment. And just do the show as actual
45:42
show, show. Not just a fucking Zoom
45:44
recording, you know? the content is always King, but
45:52
Look, the way it looks is important.
45:56
I've got a shitty camera. I've got crappy lighting.
46:00
I've done my best to make the overlays and stuff good.
46:02
I've spent money in that and I've rebranded the show and
46:05
everything, and that's good. I think that's helped somewhat
46:08
but you need the professional setup.
46:11
You know, my stuff is all old and outdated and she and it's I
46:16
don't think people hold that against me.
46:17
I've never seen anyone, you know, hold that against me, but
46:20
I know that people who have been Seen my stuff for the first
46:24
time, or they never seen it before.
46:26
And that's it for the first time.
46:27
Probably think it looks weak and amateurish, even if the content
46:31
is really good, The way something looks is important and
46:36
I wish I could change that. There's so many things, I wish I
46:41
could do, but yeah, those would be some of the main things I'd
46:44
like to achieve. And who knows?
46:45
Maybe next year will be the year.
46:47
We'll see what are the top three facts quotes?
46:51
Life lessons that stuck with you from 2022.
46:54
As I said before, I think it's mainly just to keep going and to
46:58
be true to yourself. I've gone back and forth on how
47:04
I feel about everything. but doing this show, as always
47:08
reminded me why I do I do I do what I do because I love to do
47:13
and I'm passionate about it and so many of the people I've had
47:17
on my show, a passionate about what they do and You know, you
47:22
keep doing what you want to do. Even when life sucks I think
47:26
it's especially important to do it then because it keeps you
47:31
going it keeps you prevents you from giving up.
47:35
It's so important not to give up.
47:38
It's easier said than done, but you just can't give up.
47:43
You got keep trying, guys, and that's probably the biggest
47:47
takeaway I've had from all the shows.
47:49
I've done this year, which specific episode has had the
47:53
most used this year. And why do you think that is?
47:56
Definitely got to be that episode where I interviewed the
48:00
guy for the Cooper Vortex podcast, who explores the The
48:09
mystery of d.b. Cooper and the main reason for
48:12
that is just that they've got such a big Community, I think I
48:15
posted in their subreddit and they were really nice and
48:18
friendly and a few of them checked out what I did with this
48:21
podcast and and they dug it. And that was a cool moment and
48:26
also it's because of what I mentioned before about this guy
48:30
being randomly featured on a Netflix documentary and then
48:33
that sort of bumped up the numbers on my show.
48:38
Which episode has had the fewest views.
48:40
And why do you think that is? There's not like any specific
48:44
one episode that's had the fewest views, but there's been a
48:46
lot of episodes that just didn't have many views.
48:49
And I think, It could be a lack of branding, you know, I don't
48:55
always put like a topic there. Unless it's the only thing we
48:59
spoke about in the episode because with the interviews,
49:01
it's more about the person, rather than, you know, a mixture
49:06
of topics. But I always do write a
49:08
description for every single episode.
49:10
So you can see some of the highlights of what we discussed
49:13
in the episodes. And that for me is, is better
49:16
than just slapping a topic on each and every one because
49:20
they're not All straight topic-based.
49:25
But I think as well, we're still in a position where we're trying
49:28
to build, so they're still not that many Trends and patterns,
49:32
the only one I could say with any degree of certainty is that
49:35
I've noticed there are slightly more views for episodes where
49:43
it's just me talking. And I don't know whether that's
49:46
because people just like to sit and listen to me talk.
49:49
It could be that I know that there's people in my tic toc
49:52
community that. Like to listen to me talk in the
49:54
live streams so it could be that it could also just be that it's
49:57
a topic and that's more interesting you know because
50:01
there's you know what you're in for versus you know if it's just
50:05
a random guess you won't necessarily know what to expect
50:09
and because you've got different types of fans.
50:12
You got people that check you out once in a while.
50:15
Cuz they like, what you do but they're more interested in
50:18
specific things like specific topics and then there's the
50:21
people that are there for you, every single time regardless of
50:25
what you do. So you're going to have like
50:27
different types of followers in that regard, but I think I'm
50:32
still learning from it. I'm still experimenting.
50:35
It's very much in the experimentation phase.
50:38
But expect to see more topic-based episodes next year.
50:42
We'll go try to make more of an effort to do that, and also
50:45
maybe like follow-ups, two episodes.
50:48
So if I have like a particular guests on my show, who covers a
50:51
topic, I might do, like, follow-ups where I kind of
50:54
expand upon some of the themes that were explored will see.
50:58
I've got one coming up where I intend to do that.
51:01
So, anyway, yo, gosh, I've spoken quite exclusively about
51:07
the podcast today. I don't know.
51:08
I think I've spoken quite a lot about this year in general, if
51:13
we can sum it up, I guess the best way to put it is.
51:19
I've made Leaps and Bounds as far as the podcast and acting is
51:24
concerned. Can I do more?
51:28
Can I do more? Yes, I can.
51:30
Will I do more? Yes, I will.
51:33
I'm going to try my very best to use every available our that I
51:38
can to try and make things happen and try and continue to
51:45
put myself in a position where I can get an opportunity to
51:49
progress my career. It's all a big gamble.
51:55
It really is. But what's the point?
51:58
If you don't gamble in life, you know, you got to, you got to
52:02
try. Otherwise, what's the point?
52:06
Anyway, I want to say a massive. Thank you to everybody for
52:10
checking out this episode. I hope you enjoyed it.
52:13
I know might not be what you expect expecting.
52:15
I wasn't expecting to do this episode.
52:17
I planned it last minute, but I think it's turned out.
52:19
Well, it's been a good exercise for me.
52:22
I like doing these more. Reflective episodes we can do
52:25
follow-ups. If you like, let me know.
52:27
Let me know. And yeah, most importantly.
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I hope you enjoyed this year and I hope that you have a wonderful
52:38
New Year and I will see you very very soon.
52:42
Peace, be with you be safe. Be well, I'll see you in the
52:45
next one.