Latest / Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast / 327: Create Harmony for the Holidays with Human Design

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327: Create Harmony for the Holidays with Human Design · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

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Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to
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helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to
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flow without sacrificing results.
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Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business
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according to your human design.
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I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
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Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everybody.
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I'm your host, Nicole Laino, and it's just you and I today on a holiday week.
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So here in America, we are about to celebrate Thanksgiving.
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That will be tomorrow, if you're listening to this on the day
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that this episode was released.
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Thanksgiving is the next day.
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And this is the start of the holiday season.
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So whether you're American or not, we're rolling into the holidays.
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I think there's like 14 different holidays throughout this season.
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So whatever it is that you celebrate, usually what the holidays mean is coming
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together, being with friends, being with family, mostly, is usually what it
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is, but everybody's life is different.
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And I wanted to do an episode on this show, my goal is always to, obviously
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we cater to the entrepreneurial crowd.
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We cater to the high achiever crowd because that's just
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who I naturally speak to.
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But my goal is always with this show is to show you how human design is
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present in your everyday life and how it can help you navigate the practical
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relationships and situations that we're all facing every single day.
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So yes, that can be in your business because as we're trying to achieve,
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as we're trying to grow, as we want to reach new heights in our life,
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use our gifts differently, let our light shine, all of that stuff.
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Yes, human design is an indispensable tool in helping you.
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Honestly, it helps you most to be able to do that without burning yourself out
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and being so fixated on the achievement that you forget everything else.
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And it shows you what your way is and it can show you where maybe
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you've thrown up resistance in your life because you're trying to
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do something somebody else's way.
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And that's the business side of it.
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There's also the very super practical, moment to moment, daily life
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practices of this and applications of this in our relationships.
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So I always think about human design whenever I'm going to be with my family
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in particular, because I don't know if anyone triggers us more than our family.
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Our relationships are very different.
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So I wanted to highlight some concepts and some ways that we can use human
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design to maybe not get caught up in the emotionality or in the negative
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energetic relationships that we have going on over the holidays.
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How can we have a more harmonious or productive, at least,
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Interaction over the holidays.
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And what I mean by productive is if you listen to this show for a while, you know
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that I always say triggers are gifts.
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Triggers are gifts.
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if you can notice and identify your triggers, then you will most
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likely be able to find the areas of yourself that needs healing.
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So if you are triggered by certain things being said, if you're triggered
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by someone talking about weight or body image or things like that, then you
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know that that's an area where you have wounding and you need healing around.
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So it can show you where you have your work to do.
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So it can be productive in that respect.
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You can use family as a beautiful way of triggering you into your own healing.
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But really what I want to focus on is just understanding what
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these energetic relationships are.
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Conversations, energetic conversations that are always happening underneath
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the actual conscious vocal conversations that we're having, right?
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We see this with animals.
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We're interacting with animals energetically all the time.
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But people are doing it too.
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But because we're so focused on the words that we're saying, I didn't say
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anything, I didn't do anything, that we're not taking into account just this
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energetic relationship that's going on.
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It's going on in every relationship that we have.
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There's different types of relationships.
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There are the one to one interpersonal relationships, and
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then there are group dynamics.
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I'm going to get into group dynamics and what that really means.
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These are fascinating concepts that are honestly a huge fascination point for me.
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I've done a lot of work on this recently and a lot of studying around
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it and I'm completely taken by it and I think that it's so valuable
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for us to know, especially if we're looking to live as individuals.
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But my goal today is to really focus on what is it when we walk into a
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room, what's happening there, and how can we better navigate that
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interaction without our words.
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How can we be in control of our energy?
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So, one, I had a client ask me recently, Is there a way that
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we can protect our energy?
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Are there ways that we can protect our energy when we go into rooms?
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And, of course, there are.
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But honestly, protecting your energy really comes from being
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in charge of your own energy.
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From knowing what's yours and what's not, from being able to clear out what you're
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carrying that doesn't belong to you.
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And that's what human design is, is uniquely positioned
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for and really effective at.
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So let's talk about what happens when we walk in a room?
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What is that energetic conversation that's happening?
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And why is it so heated when we walk in and we're talking with family?
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Especially like we haven't seen family in a long time so we think,
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Oh, it'll be fine, we haven't seen each other in a long time.
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That energetic stuff is always there.
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And then you have all of the actual circumstantial history on top of it.
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But let's talk just from the energetic standpoint.
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Now, if you haven't downloaded our deconditioning guide yet, please do.
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This will be a really helpful tool for you in understanding
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just where you're sensitive.
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Because that's where we're going to start.
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We're just going to start with our sensitivities.
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Where are we receiving information?
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Where are we receiving other people's stuff?
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That's anywhere that is white on your chart.
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So if you have an open head center, then you're receiving all of the
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pressure from the other people in that experience with you.
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So if someone has a defined head center, they're going to be trying
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to, or it'll feel like they're maybe pushing their thoughts onto you.
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And maybe you're very receptive to it and maybe you really take it in and
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maybe you're having a good time with it.
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And that's wonderful.
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As long as you are very well aware that those are not your thoughts, that
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they are not necessarily for you, and to be consciously evaluating whether
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you want to take them on as your own.
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But this is what conditioning is.
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Some people will have dominant energy over you naturally.
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And sometimes that will feel really healthy, like a healthy exchange.
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Like almost you're borrowing that person's bigness in that way.
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And you get to have it for a little while, and it feels good, and that's usually
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when that person that is sending you that, when they have that definition,
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they are giving you healthy stuff.
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They're at a good place with that definition in their chart,
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they are in alignment there, so you're receiving that alignment.
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So anywhere, if you look at your chart, if you pull out your chart right now,
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and you look at any of the centers that are white, those are the energies you
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are going to receive from other people.
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Those are the energies you are going to receive from other people.
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Now, if you happen to know the charts of the other people who will be there,
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you can actually see which ones do they have and which ones do I not have.
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So what do they have defined?
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What's colored in on their chart that is not colored in on yours?
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All of that is going to be what you receive and then vice versa.
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What do you have colored in on your chart?
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That they have white on their chart.
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You are going to be the transmitter of that energy, and
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they are going to receive that.
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So it's going to be your job.
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So I have a defined emotional center, and this is another reason.
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So a lot of times when we come together for the holidays, 50 percent of the world
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is emotional, and 50 percent of the world is not, just statistically speaking.
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So if you have a defined emotional center, you are going to bring the
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emotional energy to that party.
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You are going to be the transmitter of that.
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So what's important for you to do is to be in a good place
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with your emotional energy.
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Process your emotions.
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Before you go to your family gathering, make sure you're doing
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exercises like breathwork, tapping.
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Are you processing the emotions that you're feeling?
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The circumstantial emotions that you're feeling?
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And also, just getting into a place where you understand your emotional wave.
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Where you aren't throwing your emotions on people.
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Are you understanding that if you are at a tension point in your emotional wave.
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if you're at a low point in your emotional wave and you go to that
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party, maybe it's best for you to do less talking at that party.
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Maybe it is a holiday where you very consciously maybe take a step back
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from interacting with people, not in a grumpy way, but you're being conscious.
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And you are being a good citizen by understanding that I'm in a funky,
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emotional place with my emotional wave and I might be easily triggered in this state.
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Or I might be unintentionally emotional in my responses to the
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things that people are saying.
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So you might take five.
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You might go for a walk in the middle of the day.
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Or if you're staying for the weekend with people, make sure you are meditating,
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you are tapping, you are doing whatever tools that you have in your tool
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belt for nervous system regulation and for processing your emotions.
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You should be doubling down on them during the holidays because
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this is going to be a heightened emotional experience for everybody.
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Because what happens is if you're emotionally defined,
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so I'm emotionally defined.
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When I go to a holiday party, when I go to anything, I know I bring the emotions.
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I'm at least part of that frequency.
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So it's my responsibility to not bring funky emotional
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energy into that interaction.
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Or what's going to happen is the people who have it undefined, who
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have an undefined solar plexus are going to receive my funky energy
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and they are going to amplify it.
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Unless they are highly self aware, energetic, spiritual people who do a lot
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of this work, who can understand that my emotions don't belong to them, and know
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what it is, and not be swept into my wave.
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Unless they are like that, which, I don't know about you, but my family is not.
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They don't do any of this work.
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We have to be conscious of the fact of what we bring in.
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And then if you are undefined emotionally, you have to be what we call, in the
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biz, we call, be a screen, not a sponge.
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Can you allow yourself, so this is where that deconditioning guide,
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if you want to download it, all you have to do is DM me decondition on
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Instagram, I'm @NicoleLainoOfficial, we'll send you the guide there, or
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go to nicolelaino.com/deconditioning.
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DM me either of those words or DM me that word or go to that link and
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you can download it right there.
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We'll also link it up in the show notes for you.
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But this guide gives you a little map so you can look at it and
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you can see what the not self is.
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And that guide will tell you if anything that's white on your
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chart, you have to recognize that anything that's white, you're going
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to receive from somebody else.
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So if you start to pick up on any of these themes and they start to
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feel like they overwhelm you, or things start to feel uncomfortable.
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The question you want to ask yourself as it's happening is, Is this mine,
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or does this belong to somebody else?
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Because that's what we do in our white space.
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We pick up, this is what conditioning is.
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This is how conditioning works.
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Holidays are a crash course in what conditioning feels like and what it is.
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If you are curious about this topic, this is a wonderful experiment like a
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lab with food for you to get down in for a couple of days over the Thanksgiving
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and Christmas and all of the end of year holidays that are coming up.
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But the conditioning that's happening, you have to understand
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that you're being conditioned.
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That is the first step, is knowing this is not my energy, this is not mine.
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So I'm not going to take it on.
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I'm going to observe it.
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This is advanced stuff.
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It is the start and the core of everything.
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But the core of everything is we start with deconditioning, with just recognizing
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what's not ours and starting to clean out all of the old stuff that we've hung onto.
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So if you have an open solar plexus, we'll go with the solar
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plexus example a little bit longer.
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If you have an open solar plexus and you haven't processed the emotions
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that you feel, or the ones that you've picked up from other people,
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if you haven't processed those, then you're walking in with other
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people's emotions in you already.
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A lifetime of emotions that you have not dealt with.
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That's what you bring to the party.
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So now you come with a cup that's already possibly full with old stuff.
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Right?
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And then someone like me comes in and my emotional wave might be at a really
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deep, big position at that moment.
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It might be in an uncomfortable place.
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So I come in and I just stand next to you and you start to feel kicked up.
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You start to feel like there's this emotion churning in you and then someone
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else comes along or maybe I say it and I say something that irritates you.
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Now your cup runneth over and it isn't even yours.
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You don't even know why.
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It's not even that big of a deal.
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But it's got you so worked up, the energetic side of things, that you
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emotionally react in the moment.
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Not because of what actually happened, but because you were
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conditioned by my emotions.
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I was not responsible for the way that I handled them.
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I was not in a good place.
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I didn't do my work maybe before coming into this party, into this experience.
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And you picked up on it, you're full of old stuff, old conditioning, or old
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circumstances that you haven't dealt with.
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So you amplify my emotions by like, you 10x them and then
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they explode all over the place.
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Even if you don't explode, that becomes the energy in the room and
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it becomes tense and it becomes uncomfortable and then everybody just
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feels like, I got to get out of there.
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This is why this happens.
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So this is why getting air is not rude.
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Taking a walk is not you being standoffish or antisocial.
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Recognize that everybody is built differently and we
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all need different things.
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But if it starts to feel like too much for you, if you have an open ego,
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that ego energy might be a lot for you to handle when you're in a group.
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If you're open emotionally and open in the ego will center, you might go into
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a party and be surrounded by people who have both of those centers defined.
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And that might feel like a lot.
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Can you ask yourself, is this my energy that I'm feeling or is this something
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that I'm feeling from other people?
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Not to blame them, by the way.
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It is not to blame them.
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It's never anybody's fault what we energetically bring in the room.
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Of course we have a responsibility to be in a healthy place with all of our stuff.
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However, nobody's trying to push it on you necessarily.
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I mean, some people are.
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But let's give everybody the benefit of the doubt that they're
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not intentionally trying to do it.
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So can you walk in the room with that feeling, that there's going
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to be energy exchanged in this room that nobody knows about?
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And I'm going to be someone who observes this, and who observes myself
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in this environment, and who allows those energies, those themes, those
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feelings, and all the things that I feel in here to pass through me.
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I evaluate them, I see the quality of what I am feeling from these people, and then
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I take time if I need to, I respond if I need to, but I do it from a clear place.
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I don't do it from a reaction to the conditioning, which is what creates
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problems, which is what creates just purely emotional, combustible situations.
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So just recognizing where is it that you maybe have the
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ability to be more sensitive?
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So that's going to be the white stuff on your chart.
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Particularly the centers, that's sort of just the easiest place to do this
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work, is to start at the centers.
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What centers do you have undefined, and what centers do the people
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that you know have defined?
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You're going to see which ones maybe you have the ability to be
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overtaken, or maybe it can feel a little overwhelming in those.
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And even if you don't know the charts of the other people who
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are going to be in the room.
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You can certainly do this work.
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I know that my head center is open, my ajna center is open,
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and my root center is open.
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So I can tend to really get uncomfortable around the holidays around pressure.
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The head and the root center are pressure centers, particularly the root.
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The root wants to move.
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So I get this when people are asking me to make plans and they're pushing me
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like right now give me this information.
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When are you coming?
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What time will you be here?
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When I can get really worked up and I can get really pissed off
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at the people who do that to me.
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Because they're cranking up my undefined root.
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And they are people, coincidentally, who have defined roots
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because that's what they do.
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They apply the pressure.
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Me, I receive the pressure and I do not like it and I can get very, very
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defensive when people put pressure on me to deliver on their timeline.
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So what do I do?
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I actually politely respond that I will get back to you when I can and then I
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don't think about it until I'm ready.
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I don't avoid it because that can also be a conditioned response
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to completely detach from it and not deliver, which doesn't create
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a good balance in our energies.
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But I deliver on my timeline and I don't feel bad about it
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and I don't apologize for it.
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And when we are in a situation where I'm in person with those people and
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they're putting that pressure on me.
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I do politely exit and I do remove myself energetically from the
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situation and I go outside and I touch a tree or I go for a little walk.
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I walk a dog or something where I get air and space from that energy
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so that I can come back and cleanly respond with what feels right.
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And that's the art of learning to work with this.
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I don't take offense and don't blame the people who do it.
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I don't do that anymore.
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I won't say that I never do it, but I'm much better at not doing it all the time.
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Obviously there are people who are in a negative or, not so comfortable
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state with their energies and we can not be pleased with people who don't
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take responsibility for who they are.
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But in general, I don't take offense at the way that people make me feel
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when I really look at what they said or what they're doing and I'm like,
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this is just their energy talking.
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And I don't need to respond and be overtaken by their energy
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just because I'm sensitive there.
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I am sensitive there.
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So what am I going to do?
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I'm going to nurture myself and take care of myself before I take care of them.
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Before I go and deliver whatever it is that they made me feel like
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I had to do because it was their big energy trying to move me.
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This is how we can start to understand how we are affected by this stuff.
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So this can be a fabulous time for you to understand, what does it feel like when
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my undefined root is put under pressure?
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You can feel that.
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What does it feel like when my undefined ego is put under pressure,
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is pushed maybe to prove itself?
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Maybe I don't feel good enough around all of these people and I
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feel that really, really big when I walk into that room of defined egos.
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You can really start to understand what is the energetic thing that's
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happening because it's got nothing to do with what you're doing
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most of the time in these rooms.
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It's purely based on just the energy in the room.
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Lots of people and this sense of being stirred up right
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from the moment you walk in.
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It's the energy in the room.
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Okay.
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I hope that you guys found this helpful.
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I hope that you have a wonderful holiday season with this.
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I hope that, we're gonna talk a little bit more about group dynamics and things like
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that on the show here in the coming weeks.
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So please tune in for those.
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But in the meantime, I hope that you have a lovely holiday weekend.
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For those of you who are celebrating here in the US, Happy Thanksgiving.
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Thank you all for being here.
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Please download the deconditioning guide if you want to know how to decondition
20:16
before the holidays and how you can kind of use this as a little map for yourself.
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Go to Nicolelaino.com/decondition.
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You can grab it there or DM me the word deconditioning on Instagram.
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I'm @NicoleLainoOfficial and we'll send it to you there in the dms, okay.
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Thank you guys so much.
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Have a wonderful day.
20:32
Have a wonderful holiday.
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And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must first
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be, become an unshakeable human.
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So thanks for letting us help you become unshakeable with human design, everyone.
20:40
We'll see you next time.
20:42
If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show
20:45
us the love on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to
20:47
the show and leave us a review.
20:49
And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human
20:51
design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
20:56
Go to nicolelaino.me/podcastlinks to join the group, book a human
21:01
design reading with me, or access our free human design resources.
21:05
We'll see you there.