Latest / Let's Ask the Mamas! / Grandma's Rules
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: We got a question for American mamas. Dear mama's, as
- 0:02Speaker 1: a grandma, do you follow the house rules of your
- 0:04Speaker 1: kids or are their special rules at grandma's house.
- 0:06Speaker 2: Well, let's ask our American mama's.
- 0:09Speaker 3: Mama enjoining us now our American mama Terry Netvill Kimberly
- 0:23Speaker 3: Burlison is out and about.
- 0:25Speaker 1: So you these days, there's been a little bit of
- 0:27Speaker 1: a change in your schedule because you're doing more taking
- 0:31Speaker 1: care of your one year old grandson. Uh and and
- 0:35Speaker 1: you're kind of like the main caregiver during the day.
- 0:37Speaker 1: Instead of sending him off to daycare whatever, you you
- 0:40Speaker 1: take care of him.
- 0:41Speaker 2: Three days a week. Yes, I'm there, I'm I'm there girl.
- 0:45Speaker 2: I'm the one that they wanted to keep him and
- 0:47Speaker 2: I was so glad to do it. And it's so
- 0:50Speaker 2: interesting because their rules are different, you know than from
- 0:54Speaker 2: what how we were.
- 0:56Speaker 1: Well, remember we grew up my house, my rules. Yeah, okay, yes,
- 0:59Speaker 1: but if it's their house, right, I mean, it's their rules, right,
- 1:03Speaker 1: even at.
- 1:03Speaker 2: My house, it's their rules. Even at my house it
- 1:06Speaker 2: is I follow their rules and this is why. Okay,
- 1:11Speaker 2: So I remember saying, you know, flippantly, I was a
- 1:14Speaker 2: teenager to my mom and saying what they did wrong, Like,
- 1:18Speaker 2: when I'm a parent, I'm not gonna do that. I
- 1:20Speaker 2: can tell you that right now. And I remember Mom saying, well,
- 1:23Speaker 2: you know what, that's the beauty of it all, Terry.
- 1:25Speaker 2: We're not the blueprint. We do the very best that
- 1:28Speaker 2: we can with the knowledge we have. So when you're
- 1:31Speaker 2: a parent, you take the stuff that you liked, use it,
- 1:35Speaker 2: the stuff that you didn't like, then trash it. But
- 1:37Speaker 2: I guarantee you your little sassy teenager is going to
- 1:40Speaker 2: come to you one day and they're going to tell
- 1:42Speaker 2: you what you did wrong with what they're going to
- 1:44Speaker 2: do better. And you know, and that stuck with me for.
- 1:47Speaker 4: All those years, and it's true, that's exactly what happened.
- 1:52Speaker 4: And so yeah, yeah, exactly what happened, all right. And
- 1:57Speaker 4: so okay, so the first time there was a in
- 2:00Speaker 4: when stealing me because I thought he was being ridiculous
- 2:03Speaker 4: about something, and turns out he's absolutely right. Oh okay,
- 2:07Speaker 4: So he was said, look, Mom, you know, we're so
- 2:11Speaker 4: grateful that you're going to keep him, and.
- 2:12Speaker 2: We know you love TV, but we're no screen time.
- 2:15Speaker 2: He will not be placed in front of you know,
- 2:19Speaker 2: a laptop, TV, anything where there's screen time, and I thought,
- 2:24Speaker 2: oh my gosh, that's going to make my days go
- 2:26Speaker 2: by very slowly. So the very when he was idy,
- 2:30Speaker 2: but when rig was very little little he was crying
- 2:33Speaker 2: and I put on Bandby and I thought, well, you know,
- 2:35Speaker 2: five minutes of baby that won't hurt.
- 2:36Speaker 1: Well.
- 2:37Speaker 2: Still walks in and he's like, Mom, what do we
- 2:39Speaker 2: what do we just talk about? We just talked about
- 2:42Speaker 2: and it's not listen whatever. I need to get ready up,
- 2:45Speaker 2: but you in front of Blues Clues. I mean, you're fine.
- 2:47Speaker 2: And he was like, Mom, we're gonna have to have
- 2:50Speaker 2: a conversation.
- 2:51Speaker 3: And we did.
- 2:51Speaker 2: We had a conversation about it, and I thought, you
- 2:55Speaker 2: know what what am I doing? And I apologized to
- 2:58Speaker 2: him later, I said, you know what, I I don't
- 3:00Speaker 2: know why I was so bullish about that. This is
- 3:03Speaker 2: your child, You're doing it your way, and it's the
- 3:06Speaker 2: right way. I am telling it for them so at
- 3:09Speaker 2: my house, you know when at first I thought, oh gosh,
- 3:12Speaker 2: this is you know, I love watching my TV show
- 3:15Speaker 2: Steve and I have not missed anything. That child and
- 3:18Speaker 2: I we play I have my dinnis now the play
- 3:20Speaker 2: ring okay, have all of his toys, we play. I
- 3:24Speaker 2: google things. Tristan tells me, you know, here's some things
- 3:27Speaker 2: that we like to do that it might be fun.
- 3:30Speaker 2: If y'all want to do this. I send them videos.
- 3:33Speaker 2: It has been one of those times.
- 3:35Speaker 1: Where so mom and dad can have screen time.
- 3:38Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, right right, right right, they can look
- 3:42Speaker 2: it because she's constantly when he's asleep, she's constantly looking
- 3:44Speaker 2: at ways to be such a She is the best mom.
- 3:48Speaker 2: She makes all of her food, like, you know, we
- 3:49Speaker 2: have the baby food out of the jar, So she
- 3:53Speaker 2: makes all of her stuff. Yes, and then pures and
- 3:57Speaker 2: he loves it. Everything they do is by the book.
- 4:01Speaker 2: But I was at a wedding and I was talking
- 4:02Speaker 2: to my friend's husband, doctor Richards Rish's husband, and this
- 4:06Speaker 2: few months ago, and I said, yeah, you know, he
- 4:09Speaker 2: was asking about the baby and I said, and he's
- 4:10Speaker 2: an eye doctor. And I said, but they don't do
- 4:13Speaker 2: screen time. And he said, Terry, that is the best
- 4:16Speaker 2: thing they can do for their child. What I didn't
- 4:18Speaker 2: think about was the eye stuff. He's like, we see
- 4:21Speaker 2: kids that have come in here, that's all that's been
- 4:23Speaker 2: in front of their faces, and there's a negative effect
- 4:27Speaker 2: to that. So anyway, so that's one of the things
- 4:30Speaker 2: that I learned from Maybe I should have done that,
- 4:32Speaker 2: you know, maybe no screen time, but I'm telling you
- 4:35Speaker 2: I also needed that time to get ready, and Blues
- 4:38Speaker 2: Clues seemed to do the trick. So everybody has their
- 4:41Speaker 2: way right now. A lot of my friends say their
- 4:43Speaker 2: grand babies love Miss Rachel. That's a teaching It's it's
- 4:46Speaker 2: like a one woman Sesame street. So everybody has their way.
- 4:50Speaker 2: But the bottom line is, if you want to maintain
- 4:53Speaker 2: that relationship with your children, your grown children, grown children,
- 4:59Speaker 2: you have to respect them in the same way that
- 5:01Speaker 2: you expected your parents to respect you when you were
- 5:04Speaker 2: making the decision.
- 5:06Speaker 1: You know, I think this is something we've talked about before,
- 5:08Speaker 1: but there's a there's a pastor who had a clip
- 5:11Speaker 1: online that I watched, and he was talking about how,
- 5:14Speaker 1: you know, when you my my house, my rules and
- 5:17Speaker 1: all that, but when your kids go off and get married,
- 5:20Speaker 1: it's now their house, their rules, and for holidays or whatever.
- 5:26Speaker 1: If you want to be part of their house and
- 5:28Speaker 1: their rules, you need to play by their rules.
- 5:30Speaker 2: That is absolutely and that's what we expected of our
- 5:33Speaker 2: of Kevin's parents. Huh and mine, like, these are some
- 5:37Speaker 2: words that we don't use in our house when talking
- 5:39Speaker 2: to his side, and these are some food's dad that
- 5:42Speaker 2: we don't let our kids have. Can have coca cola
- 5:45Speaker 2: six months, you know, So they had to follow the
- 5:47Speaker 2: rules and it was so now that we're in that place,
- 5:52Speaker 2: it's the fairest, most respectful thing you can do, and
- 5:55Speaker 2: it just all it does is solidify that you know,
- 5:58Speaker 2: that tight bond that you have with your child in
- 6:01Speaker 2: his spouse.
- 6:01Speaker 1: If you like, descar American Mama is a question good.
- 6:03Speaker 1: Our website Americanground Radio dot com slash mamas and click
- 6:05Speaker 1: on the ask the Mama's button. Tern Oteville, thank you
- 6:08Speaker 1: so much.
- 6:08Speaker 2: Thank you,