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3 Ways To Calm Your Nervous System · Two Broke Chicks

0:00
Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always
0:03
Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey chicks, I'm now and I'm
0:13
Speaker 1: so and this is pill Brop Chicks Life lessons and
0:17
Speaker 1: tips to help make you rich in life. So how
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Speaker 1: are you sound? Fabulous? Little week? Fabulous? Loadal word? Little week?
0:26
Speaker 1: What's the tea? What's the goss?
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Speaker 2: It's may, It's gonna be may.
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Speaker 1: May. I'm gonna make that my bloody wallpaper. It's may.
0:36
Speaker 1: It's gonna be that every an odd month to me. Really, Yeah,
0:42
Speaker 1: it's kind of a bit of like a bit of
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Speaker 1: a nothing for us.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I like because we don't have that many friends
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Speaker 2: whose birthdays are made. Yeah, whereas in every other month
0:52
Speaker 2: of the year, I feel like there's a lot going on.
0:54
Speaker 1: So that may be goes like always goes really quickly,
0:59
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what happened? Yeah, like you blink and
1:01
Speaker 1: you miss it. Do you know what is happening in me?
1:03
Speaker 1: Off campus is dropping? So that's relbie. Wow, all eight
1:07
Speaker 1: episodes in one day could be hick of me. Why
1:12
Speaker 1: I'm so excited? But it's fine, it's fine. I think
1:17
Speaker 1: a lot of people are hyped.
1:18
Speaker 2: There's been a lot of chat going on about it
1:22
Speaker 2: on the internet with the premiere and everything.
1:24
Speaker 1: Well, speaking of obsessions, we might as well just get
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Speaker 1: straight into that. So do you want to tell me
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Speaker 1: what your obsession of the week is? My obsession of
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Speaker 1: the week.
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Speaker 2: I actually was talking to you guys about this in
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Speaker 2: the office earlier this week.
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Speaker 1: Teaser and teaser teaser.
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Speaker 2: But it's some new luggage that I bought from Strand
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Speaker 2: this week. So I've mentioned at the end of last year,
1:47
Speaker 2: and I think at the time, I was planning to
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Speaker 2: buy it during Black Friday, and then I didn't end
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Speaker 2: up finding exactly what I wanted, so I thought i'd
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Speaker 2: hold off and save my money because luggage is one
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Speaker 2: of those like pieces that I feel like I truly
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Speaker 2: invest in and I usually keep it for like ten
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Speaker 2: years plus unless it gets stolen from my.
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Speaker 1: Storage cage, which is what happens.
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Speaker 2: So I bought some new luggage from Strand Bags from Nair.
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Speaker 1: And it's the Story luggage that.
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Speaker 2: We've owned before, but they've released it in new colors
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Speaker 2: and they have it in this chocolate brown but also
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Speaker 2: in a.
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Speaker 1: Light brown as well.
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Speaker 2: So I went for the chocolate brown, and I'm so
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Speaker 2: excited because I love having a set of matching luggage.
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Speaker 2: But also, previously all of my luggage had been black,
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Speaker 2: which is great because it obviously gets scuffed up and
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Speaker 2: everything when you're traveling and when it's on the carousel.
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Speaker 2: But it's so hard to spot your bag on the
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Speaker 2: carousel when it's coming around when it's black. So I
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Speaker 2: felt like the dark brown was a really good option
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Speaker 2: because it won't get as dirty, but it'll still be recognizable.
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Speaker 1: Strand Bags do. This isn't an ad, by the way,
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Speaker 1: but I just want to shout it out.
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Speaker 2: Strand Bags do up to forty percent off luggage all
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Speaker 2: the fucking time.
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Speaker 1: I love it. Yeah.
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Speaker 2: So I got this luggage for forty percent off, so
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Speaker 2: good good.
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Speaker 1: I had a little birthday voucher as well, which makes
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Speaker 1: it free exactly. Yeah.
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Speaker 2: I literally ended up spending like I think, maybe just
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Speaker 2: over two hundred dollars on a full set of luggage.
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Speaker 1: That's insane. Yeah, that's so good. Okay. My obsession of
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Speaker 1: the week is this new survey from you gov that
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Speaker 1: actually shares the top ten Well, it shares the top
3:35
Speaker 1: reasons why couples argue. So I'm gonna share the top
3:40
Speaker 1: ten reasons why couples argue, did you want to have
3:43
Speaker 1: any guesses? Money? Okay? Parents, children, and marriage? Okay, good guesses.
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Speaker 2: Because the married couples or just couples, Yeah, couples are
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Speaker 2: just okay.
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Speaker 1: I'm excited. Number ten they left their wet tail on
4:02
Speaker 1: the floor. They didn't make it coffee in the morning
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Speaker 1: break okay. Number ten sex okay, yep. Number nine how
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Speaker 1: you argue? Couples argue about how they argue. That's amazing.
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Speaker 1: Number eight health or lifestyle decisions. Number seven, life decisions.
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Speaker 1: Number six, the amount of quality time spent together. Number five.
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Speaker 1: Relationships with family, Yeah, you're fucking matter exactly. Number four
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Speaker 1: household chores, which, ah, why didn't I get that? Number
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Speaker 1: three Communication styles Yeah okay, And I feel like you
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Speaker 1: could probably put like miscommunication of love languages into that,
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Speaker 1: I reckon, Yeah, that almost relates to the argument styles too.
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Speaker 1: Number two, what do you think it's going to be
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Speaker 1: kids wanting to have kids? Money? Oh? You had that one.
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Speaker 1: Like money is such a common thing that people argue about.
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Speaker 1: I thought that was going to be number one. Number one,
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Speaker 1: the number one reason why couples argue. Tone of voice
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Speaker 1: or attitude.
5:27
Speaker 2: Oh it wasn't what you said, it was how you
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Speaker 2: said it.
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Speaker 1: Put that on a shirt. Yeah, facts, lower your fucking tone, bitch,
5:37
Speaker 1: that's true. Yeah, wow, there you go.
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Speaker 2: Seriously, that was not what I expected, but makes sense
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Speaker 2: when you think about it.
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Speaker 1: I know, and younger couples tend to argue about money
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Speaker 1: and communication styles and chores more, while older couples are
5:54
Speaker 1: more likely to clash over family relationships and life decisions. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: but averaged out tone came out the top and I
6:04
Speaker 1: was like, shit, it's actually very accurate. Shit. Yeah, I
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Speaker 1: love that. I love that you did a study on that,
6:13
Speaker 1: being like, why.
6:14
Speaker 2: Are you guys, why you guys be fighting so much?
6:17
Speaker 2: Pull up that stat the next time you're having a
6:19
Speaker 2: tiff with your boyfriend.
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Speaker 1: Like, it's your tone. Yeah, it's not what you said,
6:24
Speaker 1: it's the way you said it. It's science. Yeah, okay,
6:27
Speaker 1: it's not just me. How many times you and it's
6:30
Speaker 1: probably just me, You're actually a normal person. I was
6:33
Speaker 1: going to say, how many times do you reckon in
6:34
Speaker 1: the year? Say do you even love me anymore? Probably?
6:38
Speaker 1: I know the limit doesn't exist. I'd just say, when
6:41
Speaker 1: I want attention, do you even love me any Is
6:43
Speaker 1: that whats wrong? Just bless him seriously. We have we
6:48
Speaker 1: have a bedtime routine, not sexy be with me where
6:53
Speaker 1: I fling all the covers off the bed and I
6:55
Speaker 1: make him make the bed with me in it. Oh,
6:58
Speaker 1: like to really tuck you in. Yeah, Chris s tucks
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Speaker 1: me in sometimes. Yeah, that's great, amazing, it's ten out
7:03
Speaker 1: of ten.
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Speaker 2: Really got to scoot all the covers in all around you,
7:07
Speaker 2: tuck your feed in.
7:09
Speaker 1: We're just out of babies. Yeah, yep, no complaints. Well
7:17
Speaker 1: on that not talking about bedtime, we actually have a
7:20
Speaker 1: very fun little episode in store today. It's one of
7:22
Speaker 1: the topics that we've been wanting to talk about for
7:25
Speaker 1: a while, I reckon and it's how to calm your
7:29
Speaker 1: nervous system. Yep. So let's get stuck into kind of
7:35
Speaker 1: the context and the reason why first, and that would
7:38
Speaker 1: be urgency culture. So Sale took us through what is
7:42
Speaker 1: urgency culture.
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Speaker 2: Urgency culture is like the constant rush and expectation to
7:48
Speaker 2: be on that a lot of us experience, and it
7:52
Speaker 2: applies to both your professional and personal life. It can
7:56
Speaker 2: show up in a lot of different ways depending on
7:59
Speaker 2: your context and your lifestyle. But for example, it could
8:03
Speaker 2: look like pushing yourself despite feeling exhausted, over scheduling and
8:08
Speaker 2: overbooking your calendar, difficulty in working out what a top
8:13
Speaker 2: priority is because everything feels like a number one priority
8:17
Speaker 2: and everything feels immediate, and not allowing.
8:21
Speaker 1: Yourself to say no to staff, being a people pleaser,
8:24
Speaker 1: being a yes man.
8:26
Speaker 2: And data from the Annual Household Income and Labor Dynamics
8:30
Speaker 2: in Australia Survey suggests that women feel a greater sense
8:34
Speaker 2: of time stress than men.
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Speaker 1: That doesn't surprise me in this line.
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Speaker 2: Right, And because I do think a lot of these traits,
8:42
Speaker 2: like the inability to say no, putting a lot on
8:46
Speaker 2: your plate, accounting for other people's feelings, and really stretching
8:53
Speaker 2: yourself in is a very common traits for women, don't
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Speaker 2: you think ye. In twenty twenty three, thirty eight percent
9:01
Speaker 2: of women reported frequent time stress compared to just twenty
9:04
Speaker 2: nine percent of men. That's a pretty stark difference, Like,
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Speaker 2: I'm actually quite surprised by that. And the gap between
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Speaker 2: men and women has persisted over the past two decades
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Speaker 2: since this survey started collecting data in two thousand and one,
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Speaker 2: so it's a trend that we're seeing continue over time.
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Speaker 1: And time.
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Speaker 2: Stress is highest amongst people age between thirty five and
9:26
Speaker 2: forty four.
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Speaker 1: I feel like that makes sense. It's like the time
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Speaker 1: in life when shit starts to get real but house kids,
9:34
Speaker 1: yeah exactly. Yeah.
9:36
Speaker 2: But the levels are also higher than normal for those
9:39
Speaker 2: age between twenty five and thirty four and.
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Speaker 1: Forty five to fifty four.
9:43
Speaker 2: So stress is something that we're going to be dealing
9:47
Speaker 2: with in life probably no matter what your age or
9:51
Speaker 2: you know, life chapter that you're in, and it's all relative. Yeah,
9:56
Speaker 2: but we do think this like fast paced nature of
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Speaker 2: life has become la roman anticized a little.
10:00
Speaker 1: Bit one thousand percent.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like we've been saying more and more recently how
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Speaker 2: we want to stop saying that we're so busy and
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Speaker 2: that being the go to. But I do think it's
10:13
Speaker 2: definitely romanticized and can be looked at as a sign
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Speaker 2: of success that you've always got something going.
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Speaker 1: On, whether it's like, oh, yeah, my day is like
10:22
Speaker 1: packed for me, so busy YOBU Thursday, Vegas Friday and
10:27
Speaker 1: I have to get us free ten Yeah, I've got
10:30
Speaker 1: busy week. Well. We're also kind of saying that in
10:33
Speaker 1: the episode earlier this year that like hobbies and resting
10:37
Speaker 1: is going to be like the new luxury and basically
10:41
Speaker 1: the new example of wealth that it was like well, yeah,
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Speaker 1: being busy and working all the time, blah blah blah
10:47
Speaker 1: blah blah, like is now actually becoming like the pendulum
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Speaker 1: of the scales is actually starting to swing the other
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Speaker 1: way now because urgency culture is becoming such a thing.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're pushing back on it and trying to embrace
11:01
Speaker 2: some of those slow hobbies and those chances to slow down.
11:06
Speaker 1: But what I also.
11:07
Speaker 2: Think is interesting, and I'll be curious to see what
11:11
Speaker 2: the long term impacts are, is the idea that we
11:13
Speaker 2: are always on because we create content out of everything. Like,
11:19
Speaker 2: so many of us will like our hobbies are now
11:22
Speaker 2: sources of content.
11:23
Speaker 1: Which can be great, of course.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, so many of our everyday activities or hobbies are
11:28
Speaker 2: now used to create content, and I think for some
11:32
Speaker 2: people that is a source of inspiration creativity and can
11:36
Speaker 2: be really great. But also I wonder is that also
11:39
Speaker 2: contributing to this feeling of always having to be on.
11:42
Speaker 1: Yeah. There's a really good YouTube video that's called in
11:46
Speaker 1: Defense of the Internet. Yeah, and it's a really good
11:49
Speaker 1: way to look at how we don't have to like
11:52
Speaker 1: vilify screens and the Internet and like the community and
11:57
Speaker 1: the inspiration and the sparkles that can come from that,
12:02
Speaker 1: And it's how we can actually like use those things
12:05
Speaker 1: as sources of fun but also detached from the pressure
12:09
Speaker 1: that comes with it. I also think urgency culture has
12:14
Speaker 1: woven its way into the way we spend money through marketing.
12:18
Speaker 1: So there's so many marketing tools, and I use tools
12:24
Speaker 1: in a very loose term because if I'm a brand,
12:27
Speaker 1: it's a tool. If I'm a shopper, I don't know
12:30
Speaker 1: if I would want to use that term scam, scam.
12:32
Speaker 3: Fields, strategy, strategy, technique, technique, chicky chik, chiky monkey, you're
12:39
Speaker 3: bad diss, you're bad dis But it's basically like marketing manipulation.
12:43
Speaker 1: I think in how urgency culture and brands come in
12:48
Speaker 1: with marketing tactics, there we go, that's a nice way
12:51
Speaker 1: of saying it, that create urgency so that you spend
12:56
Speaker 1: like fomo spending, and how urgency culture is actually making
13:00
Speaker 1: you broke. So like social proof when you see that
13:04
Speaker 1: a product is in demand five sold in forty eight hours,
13:08
Speaker 1: brands use big numbers and activity cues to make your
13:11
Speaker 1: brain think that you know something is worth buying and
13:14
Speaker 1: it's flying out the door. They also do like pricing
13:17
Speaker 1: tiers that you know, there's one item, if there's three
13:21
Speaker 1: versions in sizes, there's one item that kind of makes
13:24
Speaker 1: the most sense, but because the other ones are so
13:27
Speaker 1: far away from the value, like perfume and things, yeap.
13:31
Speaker 1: There's also you know, countdowns on websites. So if you
13:36
Speaker 1: see like a banner up the top and it's like
13:38
Speaker 1: sale ends in seven hours and fifty three minutes and
13:41
Speaker 1: forty one forty thirty nine, I forgot to count then,
13:47
Speaker 1: and that creates this urgency of you to buy faster.
13:50
Speaker 1: And actually a lot of brands have been slapped with
13:53
Speaker 1: fines for creating countdown time is that actually aren't real?
13:59
Speaker 1: So belie leave. It was one of the UK ones
14:02
Speaker 1: like Booo or Pretty Little Thing or something. One of
14:05
Speaker 1: those ones actually got in trouble for doing that because
14:09
Speaker 1: they created these countdowns where if the sale just keeps running,
14:13
Speaker 1: you actually didn't need to buy within that time, and
14:15
Speaker 1: that's actually illegal.
14:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, when they always had a plan to extend the
14:18
Speaker 2: sale or it was always going to run longer than yeah, timer.
14:21
Speaker 1: Showing the stock count so saying oh only two items
14:25
Speaker 1: left low stock quick. You know those things. I do
14:29
Speaker 1: think it's helpful because if I do really want something, yeah,
14:33
Speaker 1: but then I'm like, wait, do I really want it? Yeah,
14:36
Speaker 1: now I'm in the matrix. Yeah exactly, So it like
14:39
Speaker 1: uses scarcity tactics to make you think I've got to
14:43
Speaker 1: buy it really quickly, so you're not imagining it. These
14:49
Speaker 1: are genuine tools that brands use or like buy this now,
14:53
Speaker 1: when you spend one hundred dollars, you get a free gift. Yeah,
14:57
Speaker 1: you know, all those things that actually do exist to
14:59
Speaker 1: create this urgency to ensure that you spend more money
15:04
Speaker 1: than you were probably going to in the first place.
15:07
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. And that's the thing, whether it is internet
15:10
Speaker 2: culture and our phone addictions, or marketing tactics and urgency
15:16
Speaker 2: culture in shopping, or even expectations at work, which again
15:23
Speaker 2: is why we've seen these conversations around quiet quitting and
15:28
Speaker 2: stuff become popular. But there are so many factors that
15:32
Speaker 2: feed into this urgency culture and this feeling that we
15:36
Speaker 2: can never truly switch off and that.
15:38
Speaker 1: We're always on. Have you heard of this thing called
15:59
Speaker 1: hurry sickness? Oh? No? So when I was looking around
16:04
Speaker 1: at some research for this episode, I found this thing
16:06
Speaker 1: called hurry sickness, and essentially, hurry sickness is the driving
16:12
Speaker 1: need to make the most of every second. Yeah, and
16:16
Speaker 1: so some signs that you might have. This is not
16:20
Speaker 1: necessarily what you might always think. So, like when I
16:23
Speaker 1: first heard it, it was like, oh, it needs to
16:25
Speaker 1: always be productive and you know, wanting to do lots
16:28
Speaker 1: of things and having little hacks, right, But it's things
16:31
Speaker 1: like speeding, like in your car, or like through conversations
16:36
Speaker 1: or even when you're walking through people. When you're rushing
16:40
Speaker 1: through work tasks and household chores to the point where
16:43
Speaker 1: you sometimes make mistakes or have to do them again,
16:47
Speaker 1: frequently performing time calculations in your head to see whether
16:51
Speaker 1: you can fit another task in. So if you're like, oh,
16:55
Speaker 1: well if I do that in fifteen minutes, and I
16:58
Speaker 1: actually have another fifteen minutes left over, and I can
17:00
Speaker 1: actually go and do that other thing, and so feeling
17:02
Speaker 1: irritable when you face delays, constantly trying to find ways
17:07
Speaker 1: to save time and endlessly running through your to do
17:10
Speaker 1: list in your head to make sure you haven't forgotten anything.
17:12
Speaker 1: And I read that list and I was like, shit,
17:14
Speaker 1: put me into hospital.
17:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sick, doctor Jones, doctor Jones, doctor also dot
17:20
Speaker 2: a hit out of Alexa play.
17:23
Speaker 1: But like, I was like, holy shit, I felt like
17:27
Speaker 1: I could relate to every single one of those. Yeah,
17:30
Speaker 1: and I've told you this, but I do this batchit
17:33
Speaker 1: fucking crazy thing in my head where I count, where
17:35
Speaker 1: I count five over and over again. If I'm like
17:38
Speaker 1: doing a task, I go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
17:41
Speaker 1: I actually count eight and then I like it, and
17:44
Speaker 1: then I just restart counting again. Yeah, it's probably like
17:47
Speaker 1: an ADHD thing, That's what I was saying.
17:49
Speaker 2: I do think that a lot of these things. I
17:52
Speaker 2: think people who have experiences with being neurodiversient would relate.
17:59
Speaker 2: But I do think that even like I do also
18:02
Speaker 2: think that neurotypical people would be Yeah, these things.
18:06
Speaker 1: So I think a lot of these things are very universal, but.
18:09
Speaker 2: The ways that you would be experiencing them and the
18:12
Speaker 2: levels that it would affect you would really depend on
18:14
Speaker 2: where you are on that spectrum. But yeah, I absolutely
18:18
Speaker 2: relate to so many of those things. And the interesting
18:21
Speaker 2: thing is that initially I was like, oh, but isn't
18:24
Speaker 2: that like a good thing with a lot of them,
18:26
Speaker 2: But it's not so many of those things.
18:29
Speaker 1: Have been spun as being a positive. We are literally
18:33
Speaker 1: in like an era of toxic productivity where we are
18:38
Speaker 1: trying to maximize and do the most with all of
18:42
Speaker 1: our time and every second we have. That it's like
18:46
Speaker 1: you do not even rest, like even your rest your timing,
18:51
Speaker 1: yeah exactly, which is mental.
18:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, or it has to be aesthetic and it has
18:55
Speaker 2: to be in a particular way that feels productive.
18:58
Speaker 1: It made me even think about the way that people
19:01
Speaker 1: like or maybe that you even treat like holidays. Yeah, like,
19:06
Speaker 1: and I understand that, Like, you know how there's that
19:09
Speaker 1: thing where people say they're going away for a weekend
19:13
Speaker 1: or you know, they're going on a holiday, and they say, oh,
19:16
Speaker 1: I needed a holiday after the holiday because they just
19:19
Speaker 1: were going a million miles an hour on their holidays,
19:23
Speaker 1: or on the long weekend because they went down the
19:25
Speaker 1: coast and they went into a million things, or maybe
19:27
Speaker 1: you spent the whole weekend going, you know, out with
19:30
Speaker 1: your friends and drinking and whatever, and then you realize, well,
19:33
Speaker 1: I'm fucking exhausted. I didn't even get to rest. Yeah.
19:38
Speaker 2: That's the thing with a lot of the stuff that
19:40
Speaker 2: we're talking about today, though, is that I think that
19:42
Speaker 2: these things can be good in moderation, like yes, multitasking
19:47
Speaker 2: or optimizing your time, they can be great things. But
19:52
Speaker 2: if it's all you do and you can never switch off,
19:55
Speaker 2: or like going on a trip and being like, yeah,
19:56
Speaker 2: I want to see all of these things, that's great.
19:58
Speaker 1: But if every single a holiday and cage time, you
20:01
Speaker 1: need to have cage time and downtime. Yeah, But like
20:04
Speaker 1: that's the thing is. I also hate things being slow,
20:08
Speaker 1: So I'm like, where's that Where's that middle ground? Like
20:10
Speaker 1: if someone's talking really slow, I can't handle it. Like
20:19
Speaker 1: I talked pretty slow, but like that scene in like
20:23
Speaker 1: Zootopia where it actually my heart just started racing, like
20:31
Speaker 1: I can't if someone's like yeah, and then we went
20:40
Speaker 1: to where we got right off flight, just friggid. I'm
20:51
Speaker 1: like the park, the shops, the movies, where did you go?
20:55
Speaker 1: Please tell me?
20:56
Speaker 2: It's so funny because in the on the flip side,
20:59
Speaker 2: those people would probably listen to other people talk and
21:02
Speaker 2: be like, fucking slow down.
21:04
Speaker 1: Why you rarely like I didn't even hear a single
21:07
Speaker 1: thing you said, because you just hold three stories in
21:09
Speaker 1: the span of four seconds, And I'm like that's fair enough. Exactly.
21:12
Speaker 2: We're all different, literally, but I you know, we have
21:19
Speaker 2: covered a little bit of this, but why is urgency
21:22
Speaker 2: culture a bad thing? It can create chronic stress and also,
21:27
Speaker 2: like we said, rest then becomes stigmatized. You're perceived as
21:31
Speaker 2: being lazy or you're not like hustling, you're focusing on
21:36
Speaker 2: perfectionism rather than just the process and enjoying your time,
21:41
Speaker 2: and it can actually put you in an uncomfortable fight
21:44
Speaker 2: or flight that can be really tricky.
21:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like the invisible timer. Yeah, it doesn't exist,
21:50
Speaker 1: and you're constantly overstimulated as well.
21:52
Speaker 2: That's another downside it which numbs your dopamine system, which
21:57
Speaker 2: is responsible for regulating your motivation and and learning and attention.
22:02
Speaker 2: And that was something that like I spoke about in
22:04
Speaker 2: therapy and I was like, oh shit, iky, and they're like,
22:07
Speaker 2: it's like those nerves afraid and so if anything stressful
22:11
Speaker 2: or overstimulating happens, it's like literally the lightest touch and
22:15
Speaker 2: it just like explodes because you're so on high alert.
22:20
Speaker 2: And like we were saying, it's funny because when you
22:23
Speaker 2: read out that list, I was like, oh, but so
22:24
Speaker 2: many of those things are productive but actually hinders your productivity.
22:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, because if.
22:29
Speaker 2: You're always on and you never rest, you can never recharge,
22:34
Speaker 2: and that's when you make mistakes or slip ups, or
22:37
Speaker 2: you're just not even enjoying the process, which I think
22:39
Speaker 2: is the worst part of it.
22:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, the journey's the part. The view is great, but
22:44
Speaker 1: the climb has come quote line the line I hadna,
22:49
Speaker 1: what is that?
22:49
Speaker 2: The life is a clim but the views great.
22:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, so Hannah had it. Yeah, Hannah had it sworted Tenna.
23:00
Speaker 2: Honestly, culture your disappeared, although not that scene when she's
23:04
Speaker 2: at the dinner and she's also on her stable.
23:08
Speaker 1: Great example of our urgency culture is unhealthy. You're in
23:11
Speaker 1: a fuck up and put the wrong wig on in
23:13
Speaker 1: the sliding door with a little girl in it.
23:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, that could potentially blow up your entire career and
23:18
Speaker 2: then break that cute cowboys hot?
23:22
Speaker 1: Why didn't she just reschedule the date? Kisses me? I
23:25
Speaker 1: hate shit like that movie is? I hate she like that.
23:28
Speaker 1: I hate the miscommunication trapping books. I hate the whole
23:31
Speaker 1: thing that. I'm like guys, same guys.
23:34
Speaker 2: Literally just say something came up, can we do tomorrow,
23:36
Speaker 2: or like let's do dinner and just li lie oh,
23:40
Speaker 2: yeah that.
23:40
Speaker 1: Say you have a cough, but like cold is a
23:44
Speaker 1: common It's called the common gold for a reason, you know.
23:47
Speaker 1: Just say you have a little tickling throat. I don't
23:49
Speaker 1: want to get you sick because I would like to
23:50
Speaker 1: kiss you. Rescheduled call me sexy cowboy cowboys sweetheart, cowboys sweetheart. Alright,
24:00
Speaker 1: let's go. But speaking of cowboys, let's get into the
24:05
Speaker 1: ways to calm your nervous love. Is that horse riding horse?
24:11
Speaker 1: Ride a cowboy? Tip number one, tip number one, fucking cowboy. Okay,
24:18
Speaker 1: leave the boots on, leave the hat. Yeah, everything else sad. Look,
24:25
Speaker 1: we are going bear raw? Are we? Okay? Can we
24:34
Speaker 1: rebrand fucking Raw to fucking bear Back? I just snotted
24:44
Speaker 1: all over this microphone. I'm just saying, yeah, okay, No,
24:50
Speaker 1: I'm kay bare Back. I'm going to text right now
24:55
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna go. Do you want to ride beer
24:58
Speaker 1: Back tonight? And we'll see if he also it's not
25:02
Speaker 1: going to happen for him, bless him. But do you
25:06
Speaker 1: want to ride bear Back tonight? And let's see if
25:09
Speaker 1: he picks it up. If he does, it's to go.
25:14
Speaker 1: If not, unfortunately, the rebrand must be paused until we
25:18
Speaker 1: can you know, talk to PR and marketing about it,
25:22
Speaker 1: And of course we encourage safe sex. This is just
25:25
Speaker 1: a joke. We'll check back in on that later. We've
25:27
Speaker 1: got to fim of that in the kitchen.
25:46
Speaker 2: Okay, while we wait for that, let's get into our
25:48
Speaker 2: other ways to tap out of emergency culture and calm.
25:52
Speaker 1: The number one beer back, number two. Operate within your
25:56
Speaker 1: window of tolerance. This one thousand percent. So the window
26:02
Speaker 1: of tolerance is the zone where intense emotions and stress
26:06
Speaker 1: can be processed in a healthy way by the nervous
26:10
Speaker 1: system without shutting down or becoming overwhelmed. I think every
26:14
Speaker 1: girly pop is aware of the phenomenon also known as
26:18
Speaker 1: like the three pm slump. It's got the science and
26:22
Speaker 1: the blood sugars and all of that, but essentially, I
26:26
Speaker 1: want to crawl into a hole and not be talked
26:28
Speaker 1: to between the hours of three to five. What is
26:33
Speaker 1: the point of those hours? I ask you. We need
26:36
Speaker 1: the cest that roll out the afternoon siesta. We'll also
26:40
Speaker 1: talked to PR marketing about that. Yeah, for the world,
26:43
Speaker 1: bareback siestas, bareback yesters, afternoon delight, afternoon delight. Okay, Okay,
26:51
Speaker 1: so here's all we're gonna do at three pm, you'll fuck.
26:58
Speaker 4: Fuck me and then you sleep yep, and then you
27:01
Speaker 4: have a great day and anyway, So this model operates
27:06
Speaker 4: by measuring optimal arousal.
27:10
Speaker 1: Okay, that's actually the scientific term in the notes. So
27:13
Speaker 1: the window of tolerance sits in the middle of hyper arousal,
27:17
Speaker 1: fight or flight, a sense of threat or hypo arousal,
27:21
Speaker 1: a sense of helplessness or collapse. So the window of
27:26
Speaker 1: tolerance is like this happy medium where a person can
27:30
Speaker 1: be centered, calm, regulate emotions. And essentially the way that
27:35
Speaker 1: I interpret it is like problem solve without thinking that
27:38
Speaker 1: the world is going into disarray. Yeah, so for me,
27:42
Speaker 1: like I know that that is probably nine to eleven thirty.
27:50
Speaker 1: I actually saw a post that showed how long most
27:54
Speaker 1: people have a day that they're productive in in terms
27:59
Speaker 1: of what you can manage in your window of tolerance.
28:03
Speaker 1: So the average office worker is only productive for about
28:07
Speaker 1: two hours and fifty three minutes of an eight hour day.
28:11
Speaker 1: Oh my fucking god, dad. So studies reveal that the
28:18
Speaker 1: average office worker is only fully productive for about two
28:21
Speaker 1: hours and fifty three minutes during a typical eight hour
28:24
Speaker 1: working day. The rest of the time is often spent
28:27
Speaker 1: in meetings, distractions, emails, and short breaks that reduce overall efficiency.
28:33
Speaker 1: Researchers say this pattern is consistent across multiple industries and roles,
28:38
Speaker 1: and the findings of fueling conversations around remote work, shorter workdays,
28:42
Speaker 1: and whether the traditional nine to five structure is outdated.
28:46
Speaker 1: So I think within that it basically supports this idea
28:51
Speaker 1: that it's like you are actually not capable of doing
28:55
Speaker 1: everything you think you are within that time and that's okay. Yeah,
29:02
Speaker 1: Like you actually cannot be running at one hundred percent
29:08
Speaker 1: for eight hours straight. Yeah, that's just not how it works.
29:11
Speaker 1: So finding your window of tolerance of when you're capable
29:14
Speaker 1: of doing certain tasks is the hack on how you
29:17
Speaker 1: can actually make things work for you without being overwhelmed,
29:21
Speaker 1: without being in fiight or flight. Yeah.
29:24
Speaker 2: And because the thing as well is that the more
29:26
Speaker 2: that you are in those file flight moments or feeling
29:30
Speaker 2: stressed and overstimulated, that window of tolerance gets smaller and
29:34
Speaker 2: smaller too. So if you are if you do experience
29:39
Speaker 2: chronic stress, like your window of tolerance is probably.
29:42
Speaker 1: Smaller than it has been in the past, or smaller.
29:44
Speaker 2: Than other people as well, which is why it's so
29:46
Speaker 2: important to have some like techniques and tools that can
29:50
Speaker 2: work for you, whether it is like breathing exercises or
29:53
Speaker 2: going for a walk or getting a drink of water
29:57
Speaker 2: or like splashing your face with cold water and those
29:59
Speaker 2: things that can help reset your nervous system.
30:02
Speaker 1: And like timing those things and when it's good for you.
30:05
Speaker 1: So it's like, in the morning is when I'm the
30:07
Speaker 1: most like, all right, I can pay attention, I'm car
30:11
Speaker 1: what does everyone need? I can work? And then it's like, okay,
30:16
Speaker 1: I know. In the afternoon, that's when I'm like, I'm
30:18
Speaker 1: actually a bit sleepy. Now I kind of want to
30:20
Speaker 1: just go and sit at my desk. I don't want
30:22
Speaker 1: to talk to anyone. I want to make some little
30:23
Speaker 1: canographics And that's good, and like that's how you can
30:27
Speaker 1: actually figure out what works best for you without setting
30:30
Speaker 1: yourself up for failure aka being overwhelmed. Yeah. Our next
30:36
Speaker 1: tip for how to calm your nervous system active noticing.
30:43
Speaker 2: So this process helps you reclaim your thoughts when they've
30:47
Speaker 2: wandered off, when you're spiraling a little bit, and bring
30:50
Speaker 2: you back down to earth and send to yourself.
30:53
Speaker 1: It's really simple. All you have to do is.
30:56
Speaker 2: Notice something good that's happening around you or something that
30:59
Speaker 2: makes you smile. So it could be as simple as
31:02
Speaker 2: your favorite song playing in the supermarket, or like some
31:07
Speaker 2: beautiful flowers growing in the street, or like an old
31:11
Speaker 2: couple holding hands, or it could be something even bigger,
31:16
Speaker 2: like witnessing a random act of kindness or live music
31:20
Speaker 2: in the street, or like seeing a cute puppy or
31:23
Speaker 2: something like that. But it helps train your brain in
31:26
Speaker 2: slowing down and basically stopping to smell roses.
31:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, I genuinely think you have to train your brain
31:32
Speaker 1: to be happy. Do you do like it? And you
31:35
Speaker 1: can do it? Yeah, speaking from experience, Like, there was
31:41
Speaker 1: this Saturday the other week and I woke up and
31:44
Speaker 1: it was one of those days where something was just
31:46
Speaker 1: in the air, and I was like baby blue Black,
31:50
Speaker 1: Cody Simpson was playing on their lips.
31:52
Speaker 2: Oh, the wind was a bit crisp coming through the windows.
31:56
Speaker 1: It was really sunny, and I had no plans that day,
31:59
Speaker 1: and I was like dancing around the apartment. But it
32:03
Speaker 1: was like, why was that the magic source? Like what happened?
32:08
Speaker 1: And when I think about it, it's like there actually
32:11
Speaker 1: wasn't any magic source. I just decided that, Like that day,
32:15
Speaker 1: I just was like in a really good mood. And
32:18
Speaker 1: it's kind of crazy how much you can just flip
32:22
Speaker 1: it on its head. And they're like, obviously, not every
32:26
Speaker 1: single day is going to be woo who unicorn farts
32:28
Speaker 1: and fucking sunshine, but like to wake up and be
32:31
Speaker 1: like I'm going to like I'm going to be happy. Yeah,
32:34
Speaker 1: like I'm going to put on a happy song and
32:35
Speaker 1: maybe do a little dance, a little love get down today. Yeah, bo,
32:42
Speaker 1: you made the joke. It all so excited and I
32:46
Speaker 1: really liked it. So this is your hoult I did it.
32:49
Speaker 1: I did it. Yeah, you've created monster. Yeah no, I
32:51
Speaker 1: really like that. And obviously it goes.
32:53
Speaker 2: Without saying that if you are experiencing mental health issues,
32:57
Speaker 2: like we're not saying like, oh, like you can just
32:59
Speaker 2: wake up and be like yeah, happy, but there are
33:01
Speaker 2: things that you can do to find those moments of joy.
33:05
Speaker 1: I do think that the key to what you were.
33:07
Speaker 2: Saying as well for that Saturday is you didn't have
33:09
Speaker 2: any plants, so literally the world was your fucking oyster.
33:13
Speaker 1: Like maybe that was the secret sauce. I also loved that.
33:16
Speaker 2: Trend that was happening a few years ago when people
33:18
Speaker 2: would go for like color walks, and it's like, what
33:21
Speaker 2: was the color of the day that you wanted to spot.
33:23
Speaker 2: I think that's like a fun activity that you can
33:25
Speaker 2: do to help scent to yourself. So be like, my
33:27
Speaker 2: color of the day is red, so you'll see like
33:29
Speaker 2: a red car red flower, somebody's cute red card again,
33:33
Speaker 2: and that can also help scent to you if you
33:35
Speaker 2: enjoy a prompt.
33:36
Speaker 1: And another quick one you can do is reading. Reading
33:39
Speaker 1: reduces anxiety by sixty eight percent, like more than going
33:44
Speaker 1: for a walk, more than drinking a cup of tea,
33:47
Speaker 1: And it's like the quickest way to also enhance your sleep,
33:51
Speaker 1: which influences so much. But the last one I wanted
33:57
Speaker 1: to get to, which is like new notion and an
34:01
Speaker 1: article we saw this week that I just love the
34:04
Speaker 1: idea of is doorbell friendships. So you hadn't seen this before,
34:09
Speaker 1: we were talking about it a little bit yesterday, Yeah,
34:12
Speaker 1: run right through. Yeah, So doorbell friendships people who can
34:16
Speaker 1: simply turn up at your house anytime and be welcomed.
34:20
Speaker 1: I reckon. There's probably a lot of people that heard that.
34:22
Speaker 1: They're like, no, no, no, fair enough. I'll get into it,
34:27
Speaker 1: but think of it more as like a pleasant surprise
34:31
Speaker 1: rather than an anxiety inducing ambush. And it's those people
34:35
Speaker 1: that you don't have to have plans with, You don't
34:39
Speaker 1: have to entertain them when you're they're at your house.
34:41
Speaker 1: Having doorbell friendships can alleviate the stress and forward planning
34:46
Speaker 1: that comes with having a social life, especially when like
34:51
Speaker 1: having friends and hanging out with people. Now it's always
34:55
Speaker 1: like I think it's become such an event thing, like
35:00
Speaker 1: to go out with friends. There's no just like seeing
35:04
Speaker 1: a friend for like one hour or like two hours
35:07
Speaker 1: or even fifteen minutes, like popping in and being like hello, goodbye,
35:12
Speaker 1: or just sitting next to someone and not even talking,
35:15
Speaker 1: like you can even just both be scrolling on your phones.
35:18
Speaker 1: And like friendships have had to come now with so
35:21
Speaker 1: much planning, and obviously that just happens as you get older,
35:25
Speaker 1: but like, where's just the swing in?
35:28
Speaker 3: Yeah?
35:28
Speaker 1: And how like doorbell friendships are basically these low intensity
35:34
Speaker 1: social situations that allow for things like parallel play where
35:39
Speaker 1: you're not even doing something together, you're just parallel to
35:42
Speaker 1: each other, and like you can either do something independently
35:46
Speaker 1: or you can do something together, but there's basically zero
35:49
Speaker 1: pressure on it. And like two of our best friends
35:53
Speaker 1: moved into my building, like the same building that I
35:57
Speaker 1: live in, and like it's literally become a friendship like that,
36:02
Speaker 1: and it's just so nice. Like it'll just be Wednesday
36:06
Speaker 1: and are like knock on their door and be like
36:08
Speaker 1: do you have any butter? Yeah, and just go and
36:11
Speaker 1: sit on the couch, talk to them for like a
36:12
Speaker 1: little bit, and then be like all right, so yeah.
36:14
Speaker 1: And I know that's not like feasible for everyone, and
36:17
Speaker 1: not everyone's gonna live in the same building as their friends,
36:19
Speaker 1: but it is just kind of that notion that we
36:23
Speaker 1: see so much of how adult friendships are so hard
36:27
Speaker 1: to maintain, to find time and all these things. But
36:30
Speaker 1: it's like maybe it's walking it back to the fact
36:32
Speaker 1: that you don't have to see people for five hours
36:34
Speaker 1: for a bottomless branch.
36:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, it can just be a stop in, Yeah, just
36:39
Speaker 2: say hello, drop off a coffee or something, and now
36:41
Speaker 2: at home, and that would take out a lot of
36:44
Speaker 2: the anxiety that people feel as well in the.
36:46
Speaker 1: Lead up to social situations.
36:48
Speaker 2: You know, a lot of people like you'll have plans
36:50
Speaker 2: on the weekend and they're like, oh, like, what am.
36:52
Speaker 1: I gonna wear? Am I gonna wear? What am I
36:54
Speaker 1: gonna do? I have to do this before then it's
36:55
Speaker 1: gonna be the whole day.
36:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I wish I could just stay home, But
36:59
Speaker 2: then a lot of the time, when you actually get there,
37:01
Speaker 2: it's really fine.
37:02
Speaker 1: But that anxiety and the lead.
37:04
Speaker 2: Up is because we put so much pressure on those
37:06
Speaker 2: social situations socialues, punk Twister. I really like that because
37:12
Speaker 2: I also saw that a recent study found that forty
37:15
Speaker 2: one percent of gen z's are lonely, and maybe that's
37:19
Speaker 2: a big part of.
37:20
Speaker 1: It too well. I mean think about why, you know,
37:23
Speaker 1: friendships in high school and UNI and all those for
37:28
Speaker 1: some and most are like a lot easier to maintain.
37:31
Speaker 1: It's because you don't actually have to put any friendship.
37:33
Speaker 1: They're the original doorbell. You're in the classroom, right, So
37:38
Speaker 1: it's like you actually don't have to organize those situations.
37:41
Speaker 1: And it's that swing in whereas when we get older,
37:44
Speaker 1: it's no one's no one's organizing it for you.
37:47
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly, Yeah, your mum's not organizing the play date.
37:51
Speaker 1: Seriously, We're like, Mom, come on, yeah, pick up your
37:54
Speaker 1: game cas Yeah, Sally Alex is coming over to date,
37:58
Speaker 1: it's big. You can't like oh mom, my mom said
38:03
Speaker 1: that I can sleep over if I want, because my
38:05
Speaker 1: cousin's coming over more. And what if we do a dance?
38:08
Speaker 1: I was just about to say, we could do a
38:11
Speaker 1: spice gills routine and that'll convince you a little bit
38:14
Speaker 1: of leg popping. Wait, what was the what was the
38:17
Speaker 1: New Year's Eve dance routine that you did? Oh? Fuck me? Yeah,
38:21
Speaker 1: so obviously.
38:22
Speaker 2: I used to always do performances for my family, but
38:25
Speaker 2: one year was really special and my parents were throwing
38:28
Speaker 2: a New Year's Eve party. It was in two thousand
38:29
Speaker 2: and one, and I did a performance on our like
38:34
Speaker 2: backstep that overlooked the garden where everybody, all the adults
38:39
Speaker 2: were trying to like party and have a good time.
38:41
Speaker 2: And I did a performance and dance routine to ride with.
38:44
Speaker 1: Me by Nelly with costumes.
38:48
Speaker 2: I was like two thousand and one, so I was
38:50
Speaker 2: like eight too old to be behaving like this.
38:55
Speaker 1: You see. I would go as far to say an
38:57
Speaker 1: eight year old picking ride with me by Nelly to
39:02
Speaker 1: do their dances. For most people like these days maybe
39:05
Speaker 1: bit frozen. You know, no, no, right down, Nelly, if
39:10
Speaker 1: you want to come and dig a ride with me. Yeah.
39:13
Speaker 1: And then can you also tell everyone what happened when
39:15
Speaker 1: no one paid attention to you? Yeah?
39:17
Speaker 2: And then so obviously people are trying to enjoy the
39:19
Speaker 2: party and enjoy themselves, relax.
39:22
Speaker 1: And so they weren't captured by my performance, which I
39:26
Speaker 1: do danceatine to ride with me. Yeah, come on, this
39:31
Speaker 1: tassel top is the lifetime people.
39:34
Speaker 2: I was wearing bandana, it was the whole thing. So
39:37
Speaker 2: I like stopped the music and I was like, look,
39:39
Speaker 2: if you're not gonna pay attention, I'm going to start
39:43
Speaker 2: this again and we'll go from the top like one hostage.
39:47
Speaker 1: Yeah.
39:48
Speaker 2: And so then everybody sat there watched and politely applaused.
39:52
Speaker 1: At the end, I was like, there we go. You're
39:55
Speaker 1: a nightmare. I am. I love it. And on that note,
40:01
Speaker 1: we also asked you chicks to share some of your
40:03
Speaker 1: favorite ways to wind down, which included fresh air, nature
40:08
Speaker 1: and sun, moving your body, yoga and meditation, a cup
40:13
Speaker 1: of tea or a comfort meal, watching your favorite television
40:17
Speaker 1: show or movie, coloring in, journaling, painting and everything, shower,
40:22
Speaker 1: and my personal favorite, having a cry. Oh yeah, baby,
40:28
Speaker 1: a cry and a nap fixes all. Then the nap,
40:34
Speaker 1: the sleep after you have like a big snotty cry,
40:43
Speaker 1: best sleep you'll ever have, best lumber. It's actually like
40:46
Speaker 1: the same as going under anesthetic. What heaven? Yeah? What
40:51
Speaker 1: year is? It's also your eyes like always a little
40:54
Speaker 1: bit like sparkly. Yeah they are, yeah, yeah, yeah, your
40:58
Speaker 1: eyes kind of good, a little bit red, and you're like, wait,
41:02
Speaker 1: do you think do you think people are prettier after
41:04
Speaker 1: they cry?
41:05
Speaker 2: I think it depends. Some people do and some I
41:08
Speaker 2: don't think I do. I get really like puffy, but
41:10
Speaker 2: some people do.
41:11
Speaker 1: Read Yeah, yeah, some people look really pretty after they cry.
41:16
Speaker 1: What's it lack to be? Like? Yeah? Not fair? Not fair.
41:20
Speaker 2: But I love all of those because they're all very
41:22
Speaker 2: achievable and most of them don't cost any money.
41:25
Speaker 1: Exactly exactly. But we also have some book recommendations in
41:31
Speaker 1: the show notes as well for some reading to come
41:35
Speaker 1: in nervous system. But that is a wrap. I hope
41:40
Speaker 1: you guys are feeling relaxed. I know what I am.
41:43
Speaker 1: I'm still thinking about the bear back. I know we
41:45
Speaker 1: never got the answer to the bare back. Sorry, he says,
41:51
Speaker 1: but a fucklutely I do.
41:58
Speaker 2: It's that's a green flag, okay, green flag and then
42:02
Speaker 2: you're gonna come home and be like I've ordered pastor.
42:05
Speaker 1: Don't come near me. I love that. Well, okay, on
42:11
Speaker 1: that note, better wrap up the episode. You gotta go
42:13
Speaker 1: do some bearback.
42:15
Speaker 2: On that note, Lobby Chick Love Chicks, thanks for having
42:18
Speaker 2: us in.
42:19
Speaker 1: That's one way coming, am I? Right right, lady, come
42:23
Speaker 1: and take a ride with me back in the front
42:25
Speaker 1: of the whole seed O word is that you must
42:30
Speaker 1: be the money by Chick