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You Are HUMAND · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• Pete: Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. There we go. I think that's the one I like. We got it. We got it. Boom. peter: but Pete: went to doing like pre-recordings. Well, Keith, we're at the part of the interview where I'm gonna ask you those two questions. All right, Amanda Landes: that I had been kind of like since head for a while about about writing the story because Mia Mason: you are not the only one that experiences thoughts, Pete "mental Health Champ": Well, Dr. Erica, before we start wrapping up, I'm going to ask you Welcome to another exciting episode of Pete for Study. I want to welcome a very special guest today. But before we get started today, guys, let's give a shout out to my partner, PsychPow, guys. You know, go check him out in the link in the bio. You 10 %... He had 20 % off the first month by using my code, Pete. With that being said, guys, let's welcome in the host of the OtherLink podcast, the one, the only. You guys are in podcast. Guys, what's going on? Othering Podcast: Hey, how's it going with you? Hello. Thank you for having us. Pete "mental Health Champ": So why don't you guys introduce yourselves for everybody so we know who we're talking to. Othering Podcast: I'm Dory. This is Mike who keeps getting in and out of the camera like he's shy. Mike, I'm the quiet one in the relationship. Obviously, I'm the shy one. Pete "mental Health Champ": He's shy. So, so obviously, Mike, Mike and Dory, listen, why don't you guys tell us a little more about yourselves, guys, and then we'll get into your podcast itself. Othering Podcast: Sure, I'm Dory. have anxiety, depression, CRPS and autism and ADHD. And more. And I'm Mike. I experienced a lot of bullying growing up. I have depression, anxiety, and I did internet radio back in the day, like 20 years ago, which is what got me into the whole podcasting realm and Pete "mental Health Champ": Awesome. Othering Podcast: doing online stuff like this. And that's kind of where I got started. And then she joined along for the ride and she's the talker. So that helps get through a podcast, having a talker. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah, it's good having a good co-host like that, though, you know. So guys, like, how did y'all meet, though? Like, how did you all end up getting in? I know Mike said he did radio. Dory, what was your thing for getting into this kind of thing? Ah, she's like, well, I'm kind of stuck with him, you know? Othering Podcast: Yep. I married him. we met through AOL instant messenger, if everybody remembers what that is. But we were friends at first for a while. We got married and then we started doing the internet radio stuff. Mostly we were focusing on paranormal stuff because we both are interested in paranormal and especially ghosts. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. okay. Othering Podcast: And I have two books written about the ghosts of Cincinnati with my brother published. So that was a big thing back in the day. so enjoying, you know, talking to different people about the paranormal. then after a while, we ended up having to stop it because we moved, we got different jobs, so we didn't have time for it anymore. And drama. Yeah, that too. Drama always comes with that. And then we decided, you know what? Pete "mental Health Champ": That's really cool. Othering Podcast: We were kind of feeling a little bit angsty kind of thing. Mostly me more so than him, because he's like, nothing bothers him. And I was just, I was kind of getting angry, a little too angry. And because of, you know, certain people. And I felt like I needed to do something to give back. At first I was thinking, you know, maybe nursing or medical school would do it, but it didn't. And Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast: I was like having panic attacks and so I'm like, no, this isn't going to work. So we decided, we started talking about, you know, trying to do a podcast and long story short, but eventually we settled on, you know, talking to people that are a part of LGBTQ plus and disabled people because I'm a part of both of those groups. And usually in authoritarianism regimes, Pete "mental Health Champ": Okay. Okay. Othering Podcast: The first people that are removed are disabled and LGBTQ plus people. And that's why I kind of wanted to settle on that as opposed to say just all marginalized people. to make the long story long, she had been on Instagram for a while trying to find her community because she was feeling like she said, angry and kind of alone. And she found a lot of like people in wheelchairs, people working in the medical field that were disabled. And it really helped her a lot. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast: And when she mentioned the idea of doing this podcast, I said, okay, why don't you check with those people, see if there's any interest out there. And I thought maybe we'd get five and we'd be done. that would be that we're not good at doing a podcast with just us like solo podcasts with no guests. We don't keep up with it. We don't go back to it every week. So I thought it would be quick and wouldn't go anywhere. And I was so wrong. We got so many guests right off the bat and we kept getting them. So it was a great surprise. Pete "mental Health Champ": Well, it's awesome though. I because that's how mine did too. Like I was like, I'm not, let's see if anybody's really interested in this subject and man, were they excited? Like they're exploding. Like I was just looking at my calendar and somebody else, think right now my calendar ends sometime in July, but I really haven't been pushing it too hard because I'm thinking about switching my release schedule because now I was doing three days a week. So now I've wrapped up season three. So now we're in this, this is season four right here. So this will be a part of season four. So you guys will be one of the first few that get to join the new season of the show, but Othering Podcast: Yeah. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah, that sounds like I saw your guys' podcast and I was like, man, that's an interesting topic to get into though, because my brother's a part of the same thing. He's part of the community too. So I thought it was so interesting that you guys jumped into that one as well, because, you know, a lot of people don't realize the shit they go through, man. Like the fear they live in and things like that. I remember my brother early on, he was afraid to tell people that he was even in the community because he was afraid of people are going to react. And I was just like, to me, I'm just like, I've always accepted everybody. Like, you know, I go from growing up in a mixed family. things like that. You know, he I went through this whole journey with him when he was transitioning and things like that, too. So, you know, like to me, it was just like I've been his biggest support system. So to me, it didn't really bother me. And I've always been the same way. Like it's whatever you choose. And my daughter happens to be a part of the community out to she and her girlfriend and things like that. You know, so like I've always been supportive of, know, anybody's choice of what they want to do. And I've been a defender of that as well, because I feel like, you know, it shouldn't matter what other people choose. Like if somebody's happy, they're happy. What does it matter? Othering Podcast: Right. Exactly. We need more people like you out there. Yes, exactly. part of also the reason why I also chose, you know, marginalized communities was I am very marginalized. I am like the marginalized of marginalization possible because of being a female and MLGTQ, I'm disabled and you know, et cetera. And I hated when I was growing up feeling like that other person Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast: like the token type of thing. And I didn't want anybody else to feel that I never want anybody else to feel that way. And so I figured, if we could talk to people and, you know, be that say older sister or parent or something for them so that they know that they're loved, why not? And so that's kind of why we love talking to people is just being that person that's in their corner. And, you know, even though we start off as Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. Othering Podcast: not knowing each other by the end were, you know, great friends and I want to be that for people. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah, no, I agree. I agree 100%. Like I said, that's way this show ends up too. There's a lot of people that come on the show that I still see afterwards. We've had a few returning guests. I've someone come in as one four times already and she was one of my original guests from the beginning of the show. She was actually the second guest on the show. She's been on four times now, published a few books in between there and things like that. She does a lot of shadow working. know, mental health has always been a big thing for me ever since the beginning because was a journey into my own exploration of the whole thing. You know, and when I came across your guys podcast, I was like, dude, I got to bring these guys in because this is an interesting topic to be a part of, because I don't think a lot of people have a voice in that community that they get a chance to say anything because everybody's quick to judge them. They don't they don't they look at what they see, but they don't learn who the person is itself. You know, any time I see somebody that may be in that area, I welcome to start having a conversation because I'm like, I'm curious. You know what mean? Like, I'm always asking, like, what's the proper way to approach somebody? And I ask them today, listen, if I approach you wrong, forgive me. Othering Podcast: Mm-hmm. Pete "mental Health Champ": I'm just curious. want to know a little more about you. You know, I'm always curious to know more because, like I said, my brother is in the community and like all the things I've learned from him and stuff like that, too. So I've always been a supporter of that. And now my daughter has decided, you know, that's the way she goes. She told me when she told me originally, she was like, Dad, like girls. I'm like, OK, what do you think? I'm to love you any differently. I'm like, what does that mean? Like, what kind of are you setting me up to, like, tell you no? Like, I'm not going to say no, because I remember my brother went to tell my mom and she was he was so fucking terrified. He's like he had to write her a three page letter. I'm like, yeah, to me, that's just like Othering Podcast: Great. Pete "mental Health Champ": That's like, who cares? Hey, dad, this is my boyfriend. Hey, mom, this is my whatever insert in there. It doesn't matter. It's just so and so they're an individual. Treat them like that. But, you know, that's that's what I love about you guys that you're inviting people on to give them give them voice because now they can feel like they have a place to be heard now. So obviously the response was great. So like you guys are enjoying it so far. So any any interesting guests along the way? Othering Podcast: Exactly. Yes. we've talked to, Michael Threats. He's the host of the new reading rainbow. He's got really bad anxiety and depression. So he was a great one. we just talked to Blair Armani. She's big in the disability, community. don't know if you're familiar with her. She has a YouTube series, Smarter in Seconds. she was a lot of fun. Yeah, she's awesome. Yeah, she was great. And there's been so many others, too many good ones to name. We had one. Pete "mental Health Champ": shit, really? Get out of here, it's awesome. I'm gonna check that out for sure. Othering Podcast: You were talking about that's been back three times. So almost caught up to your four timer. Yes. Pete "mental Health Champ": There you go. Yeah, I've had a couple of two timers. had a couple of the only ones that four times she's only been back for and I told her she had a title and she was like, great. got a title. I'm like, like you're killing me here, man. I just gave you a title. It's great intro. And you're just like, okay, well that's awesome. I'm a four time return. I'm like, yeah, you have four times. That's more than most people can say to this show. But you know, I've done so many, like I've done like 400 plus episodes and it's just like, Ugh, it's a lot. Then I picked up another one I do now called Voice of the Voiceless, which is just like sharing people's stories, just letting people have a chance to be heard. It's just any stories at this point. It's not mental focus. My co-host does have a background in it. She has a master's in social work and things like that too. So Maddie and I, she originally was a guest in the show and then me and her were talking about doing something together because she has a support group called Jane E. So was like, you know what? Let's go do something. think of something, you know, I'm always looking for new projects to do because I don't know if you guys are familiar with human design, but I'm a man generator. So I have 20,000 projects that are going out of my head and I've executed two of them so far and I've got more coming. You know, like I'm never, never satisfied with enough and people are like, are you doing too much? I'm like, maybe, but it's okay. I'll get there eventually. you know, but it's been great though, man. I love it. It's, It's been fun. I've been doing about a year and half now for this one. My other one now, it just started. It started taking off already off to August, booking with people on the show. You know, so it's very similar what you guys are doing, but except for we're just kind of accepting any stories. We just had a guy come on from, what do say, Bosnia and He was there as a kid. Like he was really that close. That trap was landing that close to him kind of thing. Like I was like, this is so it's it never no telling where this thing is going, though. Othering Podcast: Awesome. Wow, that's really awesome. I mean, amazing to live through that. And such horror too. And I just, which I don't understand. But I mean, that's a whole other topic, but it's just, I love hearing people's stories. love getting to know them on a level that a lot of times other people don't even bother to try. And, you know, we'd like to talk just about anything that they want to talk about because Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast: Everybody has a story, of course, but sometimes only focusing on just, why are you disabled or why are you LGBTQ plus? It kind of, I think, leaves out so much more interesting stuff by only focusing on that one aspect of them. And it kind of makes it easier to just disregard their story. If you weave into the story that there are comedians or they have their own companies and Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast: how they run those companies. think it makes it much more interesting in the fact that it humanizes them, which is most important is that it humanizes them because so many times we get disregarded and just thrown away because we don't seem to have what they need out of us. Am I? Yeah. Yeah. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah, or they label people too easily, you know what saying? Like, there's always a label to something when you don't understand something, it's always labeled as something, you know? And that's the same thing with mental health. A lot of times people come out and share their stories. You'll hear a lot of people go like, oh, the label is crazy, or, oh, you need to to the doctor, or you need to go check yourself. A lot of these people are like, well, hey, guess what? I've already been in all those places. Like, hey, thanks for considering that, though. Thanks, you know? Othering Podcast: Yeah. Yeah, the community is definitely the best part. Just getting to meet these people. They're amazing people. All of them. That's it's by far the best part. Pete "mental Health Champ": yeah, definitely. Some of the best times I've ever had were at Drag Queen shows and Drag Queen shows and all these other things. I've done all these, it's great. know, everybody's like, always has this hypersensitivity about, well, this is, I'm like, it's nothing like you seem to trust me. Like, it's just like any other club you go into. If someone's interested, they'll say something. If they're not, they're not. It's not like you're just going to get targeted just because you're a man. You know, the whole stereotyping thing that comes out is just so stupid to me. It's like... Othering Podcast: Mm-hmm. It is. Pete "mental Health Champ": You know, and it's causing worse for people that have to sit there and hide who they really are because people end up judging them for the person they want to be. You know, a friend of mine said her 11-year-old niece is having an identity crisis now. She doesn't know who she wants to be, male or female. She's female by nature, you know what mean? But then doesn't know she wants to be male or not, which I mean, it's interesting to watch how it goes because it's like you try to be as supportive as possible. And that's all you can do is just be supportive. know, don't sit there and judge them. Don't give them a hard time about it. Understand they're going through a rough process themselves. You know, it's like any other subject. think of like like suicide is one of those things I compare it to lot of times, too, because like people tell you that I'm having suicidal thoughts. They freak out. The same thing is like someone goes, hey, listen, you know, I think I may be gay or whatever title you want to give it. You know, I feel like, you know, I may be I may be interested in men versus females being a male. You know what mean? It's like that people start freaking out and essentially the same. Would you agree to that a little bit? Othering Podcast: yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. That's why I wanted this here so that people, you know, if they are shunned by family or friends, they can always talk to us because we don't do that. I will happily, you know, bring you into the fold. You can call me mom or sister, whatever, because I want to be that person that if you have no one else, I'll be there for you because everybody deserves to be loved and cared for. know, label labeling them. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Definitely. Yeah. Othering Podcast: instantly, you don't know what you really mean, or you don't know what you want and all that stupid shit. It pisses me off because, like you said, you know, these are just people that want to live a happy life. Why are we relegating them to the shadows? Just because you're afraid of it? It doesn't make sense. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Exactly, exactly. Yeah, no, you're right, Dory. I love that point. Yeah, that's almost what it's like to cast them to shadow. They're like the outcasts, they exile them, all those things. And it's just like, why? Why do you have to do that to people? Like, I tell people my brother is transgender and they'll look at me weird. I'm like, I love throwing people off to in conversations. You just throw it at them like you can just tell they're like those type of people are just not OK with things. I'm like, yeah, you know, my brother's transgender. What's your point, man? Like, everything's fine with me. Like, you know, in You can tell some people are just not okay with it. I'm just like, they're just people, dude. What mean? At the end of the day, like, I think you're, you're worried too much about the physical appearance versus who the actual individual is as a person. You know, you may not understand everything. So just ask questions. I mean, they're glad they look glad they answered the question for you though. They don't mind. You know what I mean? Like, just ask a question like how hard it like, where do we leave from where we can't just talk to people have a conversation like, hey, Listen, so can I ask a couple of questions? If it seems a little offensive, let me know. You know what mean? Like approach it like that. Say, hey, listen, I'm kind of curious. I don't understand. Maybe you can help me understand. And just, you know, ask. Like, you know, I feel like that's where a lot of people give up on. Is there too scared to ask a question because they don't want to because, you know, there are some people I've met in the community that get really upset easily. I'm like, but you have to. I'm like, my point of perspective is I come in as like, we got to understand a lot of people don't understand. what's going on. a lot of people are OK with the older generations just aren't OK with this. That's not what they grew up with. So you have to understand that when you're dealing with certain generational gaps, some people just don't get it. You're not going to win them over regardless, because that's just not OK with them. You know, and at the end of the day, you know, there's still going to be some hate there. But at the same time, it's like you do have to understand these people grew up in a whole nother mindset than what we're going to do now, like more accepting that people are now more accepting versus before. Because, like I said, my brother would. I remember him being afraid to tell most people, you know? And most of the men didn't even have an idea he used to be a female. It was funny to listen to him. I'm yeah, my brother used be a girl or whatever, you know? We were talking about it and things like that. And Peter just looked at me weird like, and you're okay with this? Yeah, why? What does it matter? It's choice. Othering Podcast: Yeah, I don't understand the obsession of other people's genitals because it doesn't really matter unless you're with, yeah. Pete "mental Health Champ": Even their bedroom in general, let's go even further. Even what happens behind their closed doors, what they do is their business. Why do you care so much? Othering Podcast: Yes. Exactly. It doesn't make sense to me why you need to know when they have sex, how they have sex, what their genitalia is. It's none of your business. Nobody's going around asking you what's in your pants. So why do you need to know what's in our pants? And, you know, as long as nobody is forcing things upon you, it doesn't matter what they do. They should be free, just like you, to have a life and enjoy their life. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Exactly. Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast: just because you're jealous that they're happy, that's on you, not them. And to try and destroy their lives over your jealousy and over your ignorance just makes me so angry because you mess out on so much beautiful things, so many beautiful things, excuse me, by being jealous and angry. It makes you want to ask them and shake them, why are you so angry? And you need to kind of... figure out why that is because that's not our problem. That's not for us to figure out. That's for you. And if you want to stay angry, jealousy or whatever it is, that's fine, but don't bring us in with it. Pete "mental Health Champ": Exactly. Yeah, no, I agree. I think you had made a really great point there. You know, and to me, it's just like, I just don't get it, honestly. But it's great that people like yourselves are out there giving people that space to have a voice. You know, I felt like for too long, everyone had to hide in the shadows for no reason. You know, now you guys are giving that sense of, you know, empowerment to say things, you know, anybody, anybody in the community is welcome to come on anytime here. I'd love to speak to some of them. I love to know their stories of things and how what the things they went through, because the mental health aspect of it is just interesting to see. know, Dorie, what's your, what's your mental health issues? Did they, it worse when you were getting ready to tell people that you were a part of the community? Othering Podcast: Honestly, the worst part was admitting that I had depression and anxiety more so than anything because it was always, well, you're so strong. But I've never seen you break down or anything like that. And honestly, telling people, you're so strong actually makes it worse because then it makes it feel like, well, I'm not allowed to have my feelings. I'm not allowed to say anything. I have to be the stoic person. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast: And honestly, that was harder than coming out and realizing who I was. My kids were just like, yeah, okay. And Mike was just like, You know, that's you, that's great. And you know, I'm glad that you're figuring out who you are. And you know, also what made it hard was it took so long to kind of figure out who I was because I had masked for so much of my life. I didn't really know what I liked. or who I was because it was just, got to be palatable because of being a brown person in America. And you you've got to constantly be smiling and happy and all of that stuff. You're not allowed to have any other facial expression because they'll accuse you of, you know, being that angry kind of woman. And you don't want to be stereotyped. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, agree 100 % though. And then being an interracial couple comes up as well. You know, what was that MTV did a whole did that my life and then it it showed that one where people had the interracial couples of people. You know, I think that was a great show when that came out, though, because it gave people the perspective. Those people are always hiding behind all the truths of things. well, you know, OK, well, these are what these people deal with on a daily basis. You know, like Victoria Mike could deal with these things at one point. You know, the fact the kids are great about it was awesome, too, because, know, their kids, they're like, all right, you know. And they're going to grow up to be great kids because already you can tell because they're okay. All right. Well, that's cool. That's your choice. What you're doing. I more power to you. Then you have a supportive partner like Mike, know, there as well. So it works out even well better for you. You know what mean? Things like that. Othering Podcast: Yes, it does. And that's, that's the other reason why we want to be here is be, that supportive person for them. mean, and I want to say I'm not as perfect as that all sounds. It took a lot of learning for me. came from. Right. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. Well, but you were willing to learn, Mike. That's what matters, though. You took the time to learn. That's the other side of the coin for a lot of these mental health issue things, too. Think about it, people with borderline personality disorder. There's so much to learn. Like, I was involved with somebody that had it. I had to learn a lot of stuff. Like, I'm looking at all these things, you know. So, I mean, you're willing to learn. That's what matters, man. That's the best part about it. you you're willing to go that extent to understand more so you can better support Dory. So that's hats off to you there, right there. You're already winning the battle. Othering Podcast: Yeah, thank you. Excellent point. Sorry, Mike. It is important to have, like we said, I'm the talker. It is important to have that support system. And if you don't know exactly how to do it, that's fine. Ask, look it up. know, people are willing to, as long as you're willing to learn, we're willing to share what we need and how you can be there to help us. It's when you just disappear. Pete "mental Health Champ": Hahaha. Mm-hmm. Yeah, exactly. Othering Podcast: Or, know, shoot us out. What are you going to I grew up in a very white, kind of richer area. And I went to Catholic school, private school with majority white, richer kids. So to get with her, move kind of more on the coast where it's more diverse, it was a big culture change and a big learning experience. But I wouldn't change it for anything. It's great to have it. And she taught me 99 % of everything. Pete "mental Health Champ": Hmm? That's awesome. Well, that's good though. Mike, the fact that you're willing to learn is a battle winner right there alone. Like she was just saying, you you're a great support system for her because you're willing to learn the things she's teaching you stuff. You know, and I think people, we have this great thing called the internet, but nobody wants to use it. We all want to use everything else to be hateful towards each other instead of looking up how to be more supportive to people and things like that as well, you know. And to me, it's just it's just ridiculous. Like the things I see people say. Othering Podcast: What? Yeah. Pete "mental Health Champ": You know, and from my perspective, the videos I hate the most are those suicide videos where they're like, after you take your life, five minutes later, there'll be 50,000 text messages. I'm like, well, listen, do you understand what you're saying to people really isn't fucking helping much. Like I get so angry and it out like, can you stop posting this shit, please? It's not helping the subject. Like you think you're helpful, but you're really not. If somebody at the edge is going to see that and go, OK, well, you don't care about my life. Fuck you. I'm out. You know, it to me, it's just like, you know, it could be anybody putting me in that category, you know. Othering Podcast: Yes sir. Pete "mental Health Champ": because everybody, like the categories everybody, so everybody's got to be in a certain category. To me, it's just, it's crazy. Othering Podcast: It is. And it makes it harder to then want to even say that you have anxiety or depression, because then people are like, well, that's the trend now. It's trendy to have it. And it's not trendy. Yeah. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Right? Or a narcissist. I've been calling you a narcissist. I'm like, y'all have no idea what that word even means to you. Like ask the definition, watch them look at you like, huh? Well, he's having narcissistic. I'm like, no, that's not how this works. We can't just start calling people narcissistic-like and they're not even that close to what that is. You know what mean? Like I think that's the most overused one. You know, everybody's saying, I have anxiety so I can't work. I mean, yes. And so extreme situations, that's the case. Other people, I feel like they take that diagnosis and they just hide behind it. a woman survivor, this and that. like, why don't you just be an individual like Mike, Dory and Pete, we're all three different people, you know, let's just be ourselves, you know. Othering Podcast: I would love to say I have anxiety and not go to work again. Yeah. That would be great because work is one of my biggest causes of anxiety. It was honestly one of my biggest ones too. Just having to, as a teacher, I was a professor for a long while and having to perform in front of the students and be not just the professor, but you also have to be their shoulder to cry on and you have to, you Pete "mental Health Champ": Hahaha. Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast: be logistic professor type of thing. And all of these different roles wrapped into one and it's a lot, especially when you don't get paid all that much too. And you're being that for them, but nobody thinks about, what about the teacher? Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Yeah. Exactly, exactly. That's a very good point. Othering Podcast: And yeah, you hear so many horror stories of students feeling like, you know, they have no hope of going forward or things like that. And you've got to be the cheerleader, but teachers also need the cheerleaders to keep going. you know, we take so much from them and never give it back. And, you know, that's a huge source, I'm sure, for a lot of people's anxiety is jobs just suck so much out of you. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah, yeah, I deal with people every day of my life and yeah, some days I tell people I don't like people and it's only from the sense of like once you work with people in a customer service setting enough, it's just like, mm. So I choose to work at nights because I like the people that come in understand me more than I'm just like, yeah. It's not that I don't like people in general. I'm a very social person. You know, I run a podcast and people are like, I'm like, I know this sounds funny, but I run a podcast. I don't like people. Othering Podcast: Yes. Pete "mental Health Champ": I'm like, just don't like certain types of people. just can't stand those kids. I got to accept those older guys are judgmental and things. They're always making comments about women being in the kitchen. And I'm just like, OK, let's let's let's stop with these comments. I don't want to hear this shit. I don't agree with any of this. I think that you're you know, I get where you're coming from the old world thinking of how you guys are raised. I get it. But at the same time, it's just like I don't get mad about it, though. I just kind of brush it off. But yeah, man, I just God, I don't like people some days. It's just like I can't go in there and deal with people because it's just like the questions you get, you're just like, yeah. know, it's just, know, but yeah, being a teacher though is close to home too, because my mom is retired art teacher. She taught for God, I don't remember how long, for a long time now. She still does art though on the side. A lot of the art pieces in the house, in fact, around me in this room are all her artwork she's done and in the house and everything in hers. So she does like those painting classes now, because now she's retired and things like that too. So that's great. I think a lot of people... You know how that saying goes is that you know the one person that takes care of everybody else but who's worrying about the one person that's taking care of everybody and it never gets no one ever answers that question and that's the hard part especially when you deal with like mental health issues like you know depression anxiety it really doesn't understand depression it's like cheer up I'm like but it's not like that though that's not the claims Othering Podcast: Mm-hmm. If only it was that easy. yeah, or just do yoga. If you just do yoga, you'll be happy. And yeah, I can't do that. Because then, like, I've tried to meditate. And what happens is that I start thinking of everything I need to get done, everything I should have said in certain conversations, or shouldn't have said. And wait a minute, are my kids doing x, and z? What are my dogs doing? Where's my cat? Pete "mental Health Champ": or meditation like those are all great things. I do all those. Yeah. Othering Podcast: And all of these things, you know, pop in your head. So yeah, it's really easy to tell somebody, just make yourself happy or just meditate. And you need to understand that, yeah, it can work for some people, but not everybody has the exact same brain and not everybody's going to react to the things the same way. And to lump this in as one big, you know, just here, take this is really insulting. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes. Othering Podcast: So I have a story to tell about being brushed off for depression. But as I was sitting on, kidding. About four years ago, I started seeing a therapist nearby. It was in person. And I went for maybe a month, like every week for about a month or so. And then I went in and it was one of those days where it was a good week. I didn't really have a whole lot to say. Didn't have a lot to talk about. Didn't really have anything going in. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. Othering Podcast: Because I said I didn't have anything to talk about she said well, you don't really know what depression is Do you you don't really have depression? You just don't know what you're talking about So I of course left and never went back, but that really fucked me up. Sorry that really screwed me up Pete "mental Health Champ": What? No, you're fine. You can say it's fine. No, you're good. Don't worry about it. what you need. That is pretty fucked up. Like, how can someone tell you that it's supposed to be your therapist tells you, well, you don't know what depression is like? Huh? What are you talking about? Othering Podcast: Yeah. Right. It took me probably a year and a half to be willing to go find another therapist at that point, because I started questioning everything about my depression, even though I had been diagnosed at the age of 16. And this was at the age of like 40. Still just made me question everything about it. Yeah. And it is. And it pissed me off for really good reasons, because Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. That's so fucked up. I'm so sorry, Mike. Yeah. Othering Podcast: It made his depression worse. And he was just so completely and utterly shut off from everything that it's just you, you watch him, the light just go out of his face. Let's just say that. And then to also, you know, override two different doctors from two different states. One was Ohio, one was New Jersey. They did not collude together, you know, to create this, to say that you have no clue what Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. Yeah. Othering Podcast: depression is you really don't have depression. What you need to understand is that people don't always have something to say, especially when they're depressed, especially when they have anxiety. There's no real reason sometimes. It's just, that's what your brain is doing to you at that moment. So I questioned her, do you even know what, you know, psychology is? Because I understood the fact that sometimes you just don't have a reason. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Exactly. Othering Podcast: That's why it's called clinical depression as opposed to just a malaise type of thing. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah, yeah, think there was a Jim Carrey video watched earlier where he was explaining depression to somebody. He was like, there's a difference in depression, sadness. Sadness is just, you know, you're you're down for the day or something like that. But depression is more like you don't want to be that character. As he explained, you just don't want to be that character today or this week or, you know, things the way he broke it down, you know. But it's I think you made a great point, though, everybody experienced everything differently, though, like your your anxiety is different than mine. Mike's depression is different than mine. different than yours, you know what saying? We each all have our own individual ways of how we handle things and how we react to things. And you know, and that's the one I love when I get people on the show, though, that experiences it. Because I have experts that come on all day, but I like the regular stories that come on to different people that come on. I like to ask them what they experience. You know, like I have a good friend who I invited to come back. She's the lead singer of a band. She she has BPD. So I asked her what BPD for her was like. And she said she questions herself every single day. Now, if you ask the girl I was in. I was in a relationship with me and her, you ask her, it's definitely for her. She just has, you know, a whole different answer, which is great because you're getting the point is that everybody experiences these things different. can, paper it all looks the same, but it's no way the same for everybody when they experience these things. You know, same thing with schizophrenics. Everybody said, they always hallucinate. No, because I've met a few so far. If you said no, they don't have any. Some say, one guy I met recently said he sees like a little ball, like maybe that big, a little bit as big as his fist. That's it. Othering Podcast: No. No. Pete "mental Health Champ": You know, other people have full on like, you know, beautiful, a beautiful mind kind of thing going on, you know, things like that, too. So. Othering Podcast: And that that's important that therapists and doctors need to understand is that we're not one all one size fits all. And I finally did find a good therapist and the days I don't really have anything going in. She just starts talking and almost immediately there's something comes up and we have a great session. And that's all it took. I'm not a talker, as you know. mean, look, who spent the majority of this conversation. So you got to just. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, Mike, you got it in that you had in that little ejection. You're the color man in this conversation. Othering Podcast: You just gotta get me going and I'll talk, but I don't necessarily know what to say going into it. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. Yeah, you know what? 90 % of these conversations, I don't even know either. I don't pre-plan for a lot of them. I just jump straight in them because I like that element of just being organic conversations versus seeing and robotic questions for everybody. get some people's formats that are like that. OK, cool. But to me, that's just, I can't stand that. To me, I just don't like it. But I mean, it works in other situations. Othering Podcast: Yeah. Right. No. think it's important to have that conversation because then you get really good information and knowledge about people and you get to that's why you end up with such great friends in such an awesome community because you don't interrogate them you just kind of okay this is what you want to talk about let's talk about that and you dive into it and you get their opinions and your thought processes on you know so many different subjects Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast: And because of that, I've learned more about different things. Mike's learned more about different things, different diseases and different aspects of being gay or lesbian or et cetera. And it's awesome to understand these different aspects of what it is to be just you. And we've learned how to mix music. Yeah. There's lots of things. We learn everything. It's great. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mixed music? What? Wait, wait. Mixed music what, Mike? What do mean there? Come on, you gotta elaborate on that one now. Othering Podcast: Our guest was a music producer. She mixes the music. So she takes the instruments, puts them all together and mixes it. And she talked all about how to do it. And she like really caters to the LGBTQ, but it was, it was really interesting. And I haven't listened to music the same sense. And that's what I'm talking about, you know, getting those conversations. Pete "mental Health Champ": okay. Okay, let's go. awesome Othering Podcast: And you you get the human aspect of it because everybody of course has a coming out story. Everybody has, when they discovered their disease. And we want to know that too, but I want to know what makes you you beyond that label that everybody insists that you have. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. that's when whoever messaged me and IG asked me that same question. I was just going to have a conversation. Are we going have a topic? I'm like, exactly why I answered the way I did, because I'm like, we just want to know who you guys are in general. know, it's great. We could go on a topic. I could pick 20,000 different topics. But, you know, I just want to know who you guys are as individuals, because, you know, it's always interesting to meet the people behind the podcast. I love podcasting. I have a whole list of friends that podcast and they say... You guys have just been added to the list as well, regardless of the fact you're welcome to the family now, because now, you know, we're all podcasters. We're all stick together, man. We network between people, send guests each other's way, things like that. You know, I don't think people realize the community that we build this podcasters host, you know, like we network with other people and things like that as well. And, know, it's been great, though, you know, meeting other podcasters. I'm always interested in what other people are doing and why they're doing their shows and things like that. You know, I did one the other day. I did a movie podcast the other day with a guy out of the UK. We had a great time over there. Othering Podcast: again. Mm-hmm. Pete "mental Health Champ": You know and things like that too. I'm always down to do different shows and things like that So I always sign up and sometimes this is a funny part. Sometimes I forget I even sign up for something So someone messaged me this morning I was like I forgot we were reading later in the day and it's like oh shit. That's right That's why it says it in the thing. I'm like, what's nevermind Othering Podcast: Yeah, we've done that too, because we have. Bye. Yeah, we're terrible with saying no. we have those moments where, we were supposed to do that. Pete "mental Health Champ": Oh, I love it though. It's so great. And you don't have to do all the work on the other side of it. Cause like I showed people what I do to run three days a week and they're like, Jesus, Pete, do you ever sleep? Uh, no. So that's why I decided with this season, I was going to do it a little different. I'm going to weekly drops versus doing the three days. Cause it's just been a lot. And I have other projects I want to work on, you know, just do more, where other things, maybe do some other show ideas and things like that. Just kind of branch out a little bit and just see what else, you know, because I like doing Pete for society. These matters to a lot of people. It's not going anywhere, but I'm just going to make it so the content lasts longer for me. So I have more time to work on other things I want to do and, you know, other show ideas I may come up with along the way. I'm going to go doing like a sports one along the way. Maybe do like something like that. I've been talking about some friends and things like that. So, know, endless possibilities of things. I just love podcasting in general, like, you know, just having the conversations, three of us just hanging out. You know, it's great because you never know where the conversation is going to go. Othering Podcast: Mm-hmm. Right. So when you have two people coming, do you wanting to be a guest and you can think of a couple that you want to have as a guest? How do you, how do you say, no, I can't do it right now because I'm already booked. Do you just schedule them for six months out and just let them wait? That's our problem. Pete "mental Health Champ": I've had a few. I've had a few. I don't say no. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, Mike, I don't turn people down. OK. There's only three people in the history. Three people in the history of show have ever been told no, and it's only because the topic was nowhere near what we're trying to discuss. I'm like, yeah, I don't think this fits in where we're at here right now. You know, so like I do that. I constantly switch people out. People that book like six minutes advance that don't make it. It's like, OK, I understand. I'm gonna be doing another media summit come June again, so I'll be doing the third time a row. I get to meet 50 plus people, so you never know what kind of interesting stories I'm gonna pull out of there too and things like that as well. know, stuff like that too. So it's been fun. The opportunities just keep coming. People ask me to go do all these things and I'm like, yeah, why not? Hey, listen, I see a new show idea. So I'm like, I need to guess. sign me up. I'll be the first one on it. Let's go. You know, I did another one where I did like a panel like. It was an interview with a panel of a bunch of other creators too. It really interesting too. We did things like that as well. I even did one on, what the hell is that, Chatter or something? I've never even heard Chatter until today. Until the day I did this interview with another woman. She was like, she totally forgot she was having me come on. I was like, all right, listen, I know how that feeling is, trust me. I forget who half these people are. People sign up for Soap Warout, it's like, shit. Because I book normally, I just book through the summit that I meet people through. Then have people that just run into, generally just interesting stories that come across. Like, I ran across you guys. Othering Podcast: Yeah Pete "mental Health Champ": Pod match is another side of use as well and I get paid to you know So that just basically covers the cost of everything I need to run everything else basically In stuff like that, so I never say no to where I'm getting people from like every is like you should strictly do it through this I'm like, but I don't want to I want to do it through anything I've invited people from tick-tock on the show this past season We had a few people a woman from the California area that was a teacher that she's on tick-tock now and her own mental struggles That's teaching her kids like emotional regularity and things like that. So This leads me to my question for you though with the kids, do you guys have open conversations about mental health with them? Okay, awesome. Othering Podcast: Yes, 100 % open. Sex, everything, we talk about it because I don't want my kids to have to go someplace else, other than a doctor, of course, to find out about their bodies and about different aspects of mental health. I want them to understand that they can come to us, they can ask us, we're not going to be upset with them just because they have depression. We're not going to shun them for any reason. Pete "mental Health Champ": Awesome. Exactly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast: I want to be the one you feel comfortable asking me questions about. And we've dealt with a lot of mental health struggles with a couple of the kids. So we've had a lot of conversations, been through a lot, seen a lot. They've been through a lot. So it's always a learning process. It's not easy, but they made it through and I think they're happy. So that's what matters. Yeah, it is. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. Yeah. No, that is sorry guys. So we're at the part of interview where I'm going to ask you two different questions. I don't know if you've ever watched any of these episodes, so you may not know what's about to come to you. So the first one to you is comes credit to my good friend from the shit that goes through the shit that goes on our heads podcast. She asked me the same question about to ask you. So Mike and Dory, if your mental health had a song. What would that song be? Now you can choose multiple songs to break it down, Dory. Since I know you deal with multiple things. You can pick it however you want to say it. Othering Podcast: The song that never ends. Because my depression keeps coming back and that shit never stops. Yes, I love that song. that's really hard. There's honestly like, I'm still standing, I would say is one of the even though I'm literally sitting, but like, I'm still standing is it fits not in the way of, you know, divorce or breaking up in a relationship, but Pete "mental Health Champ": God get a good old one. Look at a lamb chopper. I remember that. Othering Podcast: I'm still able to keep fighting. I'm still here to, you know, do another day because sometimes it does get hard. Sometimes you don't want to keep going, but I have to because, you know, I've got friends, I've got family that need me. And so I'm still here. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. Yeah, I love it. That's great. Yeah, see mine, I broke mine down two different ways. said artificial suicide by Bad Omens was my anxiety because the song was just like that constant strumming for me is mine. And then my depression song was Leave a Light on, Talk Away to Dark by Papa Roach because the end of that video where it says 9.8 on there, which is a powerful message for most people, know, like everybody has these things to say. in fact, the one lady that was on the chatter interview with Othering Podcast: Mm-hmm. Pete "mental Health Champ": She was trying to tell me 98 wasn't effective. Then one of her own people came back and debunked that whole thing real fast. you can just watch her pivot. nevermind. It's a great idea. Pete, great suggestion. I'm like, hmm, yeah. But what does it tell you? At first, we're trying to demonize it saying, I don't think so. And I'm like, you know, no, but it's been great, though. Since doing the show, we've met the the the help hub. Co, which is run by Lisa Sugarman. She had put together this whole thing for people that ever have any questions that need to know where to be. It covers everything. It covers the religion, type things, different, you know, ethnicities, you know, things like that, you know, all that kind of stuff, wherever you need to fit into it's there. It kind of navigates for you because, you know, certain people have certain things they agree with and don't. So it's great. My partner, Psych Pal, really cool too. I'll get you guys a link for that one to check out the little. It's like a web app. It basically goes on your phone and it's like it's a support between things for like the mic. It'll keep track of your mood. Same thing to any of you guys, you know, and you can email your therapist. you know, different things and stuff like that, what you've been feeling that week. So in case, Mike, you don't remember what it is you were thinking that week, it'll keep tracking before you. It's like an AI, but it's AI done right, though. If it feels like any point you're getting to the point you may harm yourself, it'll send you there. If you need therapy, it'll help you find the closest therapist to where you're at currently located and things like that. It's really cool. Jules is actually a guy invented it for his daughter originally, you know, and I got to meet with him recently and things that we him had a more in-depth conversation with another girl from the UK who's featured the podcast over there on Psych Pal as well. you know, and I have a few friends that been using it too. They really love it. One of my friends, has bipolar one and she sits there and tries to argue with it all the time. So it's funny to listen to her interactions. She's like, I think I stumped the AI. I'm like, yeah, well she keeps going back to it though. She's like, well, I back to ask her how to handle this situation. So it's, not a replacement therapy, but it's like AI done right. Something like have that companion like you're two in the morning. Mike, Mike's thinking about something. You don't want to wake up your door and he wants to talk a little talk to him, you know, and things like that. It's really cool. But to learn who Mike is as an individual or Dory is a person yourself, you know, or the, you know, any of the kids and things like that too. I think he said the recommended age for it was like 14 starting for kids. But it's like a little companion. But if in the minute it feels like you're going into danger, it's like, red flag, we're going to go take you. Do we need to call 9-1-1 in your area right now? Cause we will call 9-8-8, you know, and it's great though, because he had catered it towards his daughter originally. And then, you know, He even uses himself now so he's like, know what? Maybe I should spray with everybody when he approached me about it. I was like, you know what? Let's go and do it, man. Why not? It's pretty cool. It's a really cool app, though. I like it, though. It's pretty fun. I play with it all the time. You know, you can talk to you can text it. You can you can send it pictures of things and it'll interpret things for you. It'll break it down so you understand the user, which I like is it's not that cookie cutter. I'm going to say solve your problem in 10 minutes. Shit, because I'm like, we know that doesn't solve anything. We constantly deal with these things, you know. Othering Podcast: Yeah. Pete "mental Health Champ": It's not going away anytime soon, you know, and as Mike said, it's a never end. It's a song that it runs. Othering Podcast: Yeah. And that's a hundred. And I love the fact that there is that app because so many times you have those thoughts that, you know, bombard you. And sometimes you just can't get to a paper and pad to write it down or completely forget it. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm. Yeah. It'll keep track of your moods and everything too. It's really cool. goes, it'll judge what your mood is and it'll start learning who you are and it keeps notes. So like, know, when Mike goes to therapy, he can send his therapist over his notes from his app and his app will tell him like, it'll break it down, but it's so secure though, that not even Jules can get in there. Now he can get in there if he needs to. Like there's a level of security. He's got multiple passwords, has to get into it, but he's like, he can't just willingly go in there and just break into it because it's so encrypted. Had it been an emergency situation, he needed to release it legally wise. He could get to it that way, but there's multiple steps you have to get to do it. So it's nice because he encrypted it so well that not even he can get into it, that no one has to worry about their data being stolen. Because that's everyone's biggest fear these days is, my information is going to get taken by an app. Othering Podcast: Yeah, because we need apps to have all of our information, of course. Pete "mental Health Champ": Tori's like we have too many apps out there, but that's what he did, but that was the funny thing too real quick He said that that's why he didn't make he's not gonna probably make it into an app It's like a web app kind of thing like you log into the website and then it downloads like a shortcut to your phone Because he's like, you know It's so much easier for him to do updates on it than versus having to go to the Google Store and everything else He can fix it faster and like Jules and I communicate all the time It thinks like that too. You know, like I tell them there's any issues people run to hey Jules running this issue and he's like, okay I'm on it Othering Podcast: Yes, we do. Pete "mental Health Champ": And like, he'll literally answer me within a few hours. He'll be like, yeah, I got this. I'll let you know when it's back up and running fine and I'll fix the problem. So like I have as many people as I can get to submit statements of what they're feeling like or how it feels, how they like it. Because we want the organic growth. Because I'm like, you you see all these Google reviews and you go to like, you know, any of those other food sites and things you watch. So if you ever go on Yelp and sit there and really read what these people are writing, like you're just sitting there going, what the hell? Like, you know what mean? Like these are reviews sometimes you're just like. the hell's going on? And that's the way you feel like with most things you're buying these days. You're like, is it really real? Is this a real thing? So, so all right, guys, here we go. The main question and the reason I started this podcast. You all ready for this one? If you could break the stigma about mental health. Now, when I ask you this question, it's something that pisses you off, something you want people to stop believing. What is that one thing you would say in your own opinion? Othering Podcast: Okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Stop assuming that everything has to do with mental health. That everything that we choose to say or do has to do with being crazy or schizophrenic. you know, use the terms correctly. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Mike, what are you saying? What are you thinking, man? Your wheels are turning over there. I see them. Othering Podcast: Basically what we talked about earlier, remember not every day is a bad day necessarily. There are days where you can be in a good mood and have a good day. So you're not always going to have something to cry about or to talk about, so to speak. And it's, it's a roller coaster. It goes up and down. Yeah. And that doesn't mean that you don't have that disease or that issue. It just means that that was a good day. it's, and it's okay to admit that you have it. Pete "mental Health Champ": Mm-hmm. Othering Podcast: It's okay to admit that it's out there and it's not a weakness because you have depression or anxiety. takes greater strength to admit that you have that, that you have depression, anxiety, or schizophrenia, or whatever it is. And it's greater strength to go get the help that you need so that you can live the life that you want, not that somebody else wants, that you want. And leave. Pete "mental Health Champ": Exactly. Okay, show's over. Dory just said it. That's it. Show's over. Othering Podcast: And we need people like you to let people share their stories and to talk about it and to say what they are feeling or what they have and help people learn. And one more thing, just if you're a guy, if you're a man, I don't believe the hype that masculinity means never showing feelings. Pete "mental Health Champ": Yeah. I appreciate that. really do guys. Yes, ma'am. Go right ahead, Dorny. You go for it. What you got for us? Othering Podcast: or that you're not allowed to have any type of mental illnesses. You are, you're human. That's the most important thing is realize you're human. women love people who actually can show that they care, that they have feelings, that they're not a robot. So, know, that loneliness shit. Pete "mental Health Champ": I love it. I absolutely love it, guys. Well, Dory, thank you so much for coming to Hangout, guys. This was absolutely a pleasure having you. Before we start wrapping up, where can everybody find your podcast? Are you guys on everything? What do you drop? Let them know where to find you, the socials, all the great stuff. Othering Podcast: Thank you. Yes, our podcast is on all the major platforms. drops every Monday and Thursday at midnight. we also have our own website at otheringpodcast.com. We are also played on internet radio station, pep radio, gay SA and. shit. Yep. It's the radio station isn't. And alt Q radio. That's the other one. My mind went completely blank there. And then. Social medias, take it away, Dory. Instagram and Facebook and blue sky, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. mean, we're in all of them except TikTok right now. Except TikTok and X. We're not on X or Twitter, whatever the hell you want to call it. Yeah, that is. Pete "mental Health Champ": Awesome. X-exec TikTok. I love how you guys say that. Well guys, yeah, X is a scary place. Guys, with that being said, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Pete Frisian Society. We had again Mike and Dory. Thank you so much for coming to hang out with us guys. Guys, go check them out. We're gonna have all the links to their socials in the bio of the episode along with this link to Psych Pal, all that great stuff guys. And you know, as I always say, you know, I'm on X, all the down to TikTok. I'm on Spotify, all the way down to Pandora Radio. And as I always say, it costs nothing, absolutely nothing. Be kind to somebody, one kind act you can do, can save some life. Hell, you can make their day. I'm Pete for ZXYTY signing off saying, don't ask how your day is today, say hey, how's your mental health?