Latest / Crime Stories with Nancy Grace / Our Children Safe Online | Justice Nation: Crime Stops Here

Transcript

Our Children Safe Online | Justice Nation: Crime Stops Here · Crime Stories with Nancy Grace

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi guys, Nanasy Grace here. Welcome to Justice Nation. Crime
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: stops here. This online education video course is designed to
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: help you protect what you love the most, your children
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: and your loved ones from crime. We're making it available
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• 0:20
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• 0:27
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• 0:32
  Speaker 1: and countless other data centers on its way to the IRS.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Any of them can expose you to identity theft because
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: they have all the information on your W two just
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: the ticket for criminals to steal your identity. No wonder
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: the IRS reported tax fraud due to identity theft went
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: up twenty percent last year. Enter LifeLock. They monitor millions
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  Speaker 1: to LifeLock dot com slash Nancy for forty percent off.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Terms apply. Thank you LifeLock for making this possible and
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: for being our partner. You know, I can put a
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: lock on the door. I can get an alarm. I
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: can watch my babysitter on the nannycam and I do.
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  Speaker 1: I can build a fence with a gate. I can
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  Speaker 1: have a dog that barks its head off and bites.
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  Speaker 1: But what if my own children, my twins, invite the
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: predator into our family room, our den while I'm sitting
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  Speaker 1: there with them, and I don't know a thing. I'm
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  Speaker 1: talking about the Internet. It's right under my nose. It's there.
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  Speaker 1: When your child is under the covers at night in
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  Speaker 1: bed on a smartphone, the whole world has access to
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  Speaker 1: your child, the whole world. I don't want to be
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  Speaker 1: that parent who doesn't let my child have an iPad
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  Speaker 1: or a smartphone. But what's the alternative? Online predators lurk
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  Speaker 1: and the friendliest place is online. They know where to
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  Speaker 1: find your child in a friendly chat room, an online game,
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  Speaker 1: a social media app, whether it's minecraft or a fortnight,
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  Speaker 1: a guinea pig chat room, a kiddycat chat room. They
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  Speaker 1: are there a friendly My screen name means nothing, as
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: you are about to hear. But we can protect our
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  Speaker 1: children online. And this is how It's not just a
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  Speaker 1: matter of going in your front yard and calling for
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  Speaker 1: your child to come home. This is the age of
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  Speaker 1: the Internet and now we must wrestle with and wage
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  Speaker 1: war against cyber threats. With me today an all star panel.
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  Speaker 1: First of all, with me Alicia Kuzkevich, an abduction survivor,
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  Speaker 1: lord as a child online and the inspiration for Alicia's Law.
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  Speaker 1: Also with me Adam Coaufin, former police officer and the
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: founder of Safe Kids, Inc. And Francy Haykes, who ran
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: the government war on child exploitation and abduction. Let's speak
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  Speaker 1: to the experts, and I won't just start with Alisha,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: who is a survivor and again the inspiration for Alisha's Law. Alisha,
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  Speaker 1: to me, you being here at this table with us
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  Speaker 1: on this beautiful day is a miracle. Please tell us
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  Speaker 1: your story.
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  Speaker 2: When I was a child, I was a really typical
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: average kid. I come from good family, good neighborhood, the
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: kind of family that maybe people would think that something
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  Speaker 2: like this couldn't happen to and we certainly thought that
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  Speaker 2: it couldn't happen to us. This was never anything that
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  Speaker 2: you could ever be prepared for. And I can remember
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  Speaker 2: it was back in two thousand and one and two
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  Speaker 2: thousand and two, and the Internet was really just entering
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  Speaker 2: the home, and my parents honestly didn't know too much
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  Speaker 2: about it, and that was because they didn't grow up
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  Speaker 2: with it, and there were there are no stories like mine.
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  Speaker 2: There were no Internet safety seminars, There wasn't anything for
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  Speaker 2: them to go on, and so my mother sat down
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  Speaker 2: and she talked about stranger danger. But that doesn't work
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  Speaker 2: online because you feel like you know somebody very quickly.
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  Speaker 2: And I can remember it took me a while to
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  Speaker 2: actually get online. It seemed like all my friends no
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  Speaker 2: longer wanted to go outside. They didn't want to go
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  Speaker 2: to the park or the mall or the movies. They
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  Speaker 2: wanted to stay indoors and stay online. So in order
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  Speaker 2: to maintain my friendships, I got online, and honestly, at
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  Speaker 2: the time it was really incredible. I was a shy kid,
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  Speaker 2: and for me it was a place that I could
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  Speaker 2: speak up. I could make my words pretty colors. I
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  Speaker 2: had a backspace, and I felt really safe, which I
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  Speaker 2: think was the most important thing is that this was
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  Speaker 2: in my home. My mom was there, my dad was there,
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  Speaker 2: my brother was there, my dog was there. This was
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  Speaker 2: my home, and nothing and no one had ever hurt
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  Speaker 2: me there before, and nothing and no one ever could.
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  Speaker 2: I spent a lot of time online talking to my
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  Speaker 2: friends from school, and at the time, it felt like
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  Speaker 2: it was a clubhouse. Three wait calling was still a thing,
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  Speaker 2: and I remember explaining it to my mom and it
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  Speaker 2: was like three way calling with as many people as
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  Speaker 2: you want. And it was in the family room, and
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  Speaker 2: it should have been safe, but I didn't have the
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  Speaker 2: tools to keep myself safe, and neither did my family.
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  Speaker 2: And there I was in a chat room and somebody
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  Speaker 2: messaged me, and I thought that was a boy around
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  Speaker 2: my own age.
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  Speaker 1: What do you mean by chat room?
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  Speaker 2: So a chat room was where a bunch of people
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  Speaker 2: would come together and it was one common area, one
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  Speaker 2: common box, one common textbox, and everybody would communicate together
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  Speaker 2: and then you could private message somebody from out of
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  Speaker 2: that group.
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  Speaker 1: What chatroom were you in?
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  Speaker 2: I don't remember the name of it, but it was
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  Speaker 2: I believe a Yahoo chat room.
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  Speaker 1: You're in a chat room in the family room with
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  Speaker 1: your family there, your brother or your mom and dad. Right, Okay,
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  Speaker 1: what happens?
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  Speaker 2: So I thought that this was a boy around my
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  Speaker 2: own age, and maybe it was a little naive, but
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  Speaker 2: I was a really trusting child, and I was taught
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  Speaker 2: that the world is good, and I knew that there
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  Speaker 2: were bad people in it, but they were far away.
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  Speaker 2: They weren't in my world, or they were in comic
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  Speaker 2: books or in Disney movies. It wasn't real and nothing
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  Speaker 2: could ever happen to me. So I trusted that this
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  Speaker 2: person was who they said they were. I was who
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  Speaker 2: I said I was. Why would somebody lie? That never
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  Speaker 2: came up in my mind? And he immediately began to
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  Speaker 2: groom me, and of course I didn't know it at
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  Speaker 2: the time. There were no red flags and none that
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  Speaker 2: I could be aware of. He began acting as though
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  Speaker 2: he was my friend, and it's very easy to groom
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  Speaker 2: a child, so as a friend would be always there
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  Speaker 2: for you when you need them, being supportive, being within reach,
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  Speaker 2: like I said, being there for just when you need them,
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  Speaker 2: and talking about your life. And that's what a predator's
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  Speaker 2: goal is it's really to gain the trust of a
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  Speaker 2: child and telling them what they want to hear versus
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  Speaker 2: what they need to hear. So your mom will tell
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  Speaker 2: you to clean your room, and that's not always what
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  Speaker 2: you want to hear. I don't think that's anything you
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  Speaker 2: ever want to hear. So to clean your room, do
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  Speaker 2: your dishes, you' your homework, this and that and the other,
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  Speaker 2: and then a predator will just say no and tell
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  Speaker 2: you what you want to hear. It's hard to be
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  Speaker 2: a kid today. I think it's harder to be a
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  Speaker 2: kid than it ever has been. Kids don't feel pretty enough,
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  Speaker 2: handsome enough, fit enough, wealthy, enough, this, enough that enough,
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  Speaker 2: and a predator will make them feel like they are enough.
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  Speaker 2: And so many kids suffer with so many different sorts
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  Speaker 2: of insecurities. Like I said, it's really hard to be
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  Speaker 2: a kid. And kids want to connect, and it's so
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  Speaker 2: hard now to connect with people.
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  Speaker 1: So you're online and you start talking to a boy
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  Speaker 1: you think is your age twelve thirteen range, and what
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  Speaker 1: happens next.
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  Speaker 2: Over a period of eight or nine months of this
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  Speaker 2: grooming process, good gravy predators take a very long time months, Okay, right,
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  Speaker 2: One of the cases we'll discuss. It was eighteen months
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  Speaker 2: of grooming. Predators will take their time and they will
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  Speaker 2: do whatever is necessary to groom the child. And while
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  Speaker 2: they're talking to you, they often have other children that
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  Speaker 2: they're targeting, and if you're not going to take the bait,
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  Speaker 2: they'll just move right on to that next child until
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  Speaker 2: they find the one. But predators know what they're doing.
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  Speaker 2: They do this. This is their not their job, but
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  Speaker 2: it's their life goal is to prey on children and
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  Speaker 2: to get to that vulnerable one and get to them.
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  Speaker 1: So it's so hard for all of us, you know,
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  Speaker 1: loving parents to relate to someone who's single goal in
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  Speaker 1: life is to find a child.
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  Speaker 2: To be a monster, and she's warm somebody.
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  Speaker 1: Molested and harm. So you know this kid for about
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  Speaker 1: eight or nine months, and then what happens on New
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  Speaker 1: Year's Day two thousand and two.
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  Speaker 2: I can remember it and when I think back, I
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  Speaker 2: think it was the last few moments of grace in
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  Speaker 2: our family where if everything just continued that way, I
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: would have been lovely. We sat around the dinner table,
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  Speaker 2: we laughed. It was the holiday. We had a family
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  Speaker 2: meal which we would have every year. It was a
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  Speaker 2: good luck meal. And my mom and dad were there,
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  Speaker 2: my brother and his girlfriend, and my grandmother. So it's
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  Speaker 2: a really beautiful evening. The snow was falling, and I
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  Speaker 2: asked my mother if I could be excused from the table.
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  Speaker 2: And I've had people say to me, well you to
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  Speaker 2: your mom, really you told a fib in order to
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  Speaker 2: get up and to go outside.
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  Speaker 1: And I did.
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  Speaker 2: And kids don't always tell the truth. They hide a
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  Speaker 2: lot of things from their parents, and that doesn't make
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  Speaker 2: them bad kids. That's just natural. When I talk to
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  Speaker 2: kids now, I say, if you have to lie to
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  Speaker 2: your parents, there's nothing you really have to lie to
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  Speaker 2: them about. Thinks through that decision. But I thought a
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  Speaker 2: be excuse on the table, and instead of going upstairs
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  Speaker 2: to lie down, I slipped out of the front door,
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  Speaker 2: past the Christmas tree that was up, and into the coldest, darkest,
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  Speaker 2: iciest night of the year. And to tell you how
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  Speaker 2: effective grooming is, I was a child who was really
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: quite scared of the dark, hated the cold with a passion,
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  Speaker 2: and never went outside alone after dark. Yet completely out
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  Speaker 2: of my character, I walked out of that front door
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  Speaker 2: and didn't take my coat. I loft the door open
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: just a little bit because I was planning on coming
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  Speaker 2: right back through it and out into my neighborhood, and
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: this is my neighborhood and it should be safe. And
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  Speaker 2: again it was beautiful. The snow was untouched, and there
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  Speaker 2: are Christmas lights in the windows, and it was a
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: really beautiful, quiet, peaceful night, which soon became my hell.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: I walked up the street just about a block or so,
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  Speaker 2: and if I turned around, I could still see my house.
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  Speaker 2: So I thought, okay, well here's my house. I must
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  Speaker 2: be safe again. Neighborhood, this is my familiar area. And finally,
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  Speaker 2: this little voice spoke up in my head, my intuition
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  Speaker 2: which I ask everybody to listen to and to teach
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  Speaker 2: your children to listen, to pay attention to it, because
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: it is there for a reason. I heard this little
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  Speaker 2: boy say, Alicia, this is dangerous.
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  Speaker 1: Go home now.
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  Speaker 2: And I turned around, and next thing I knew, I
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  Speaker 2: was in a car and this man was squeezing my
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: hand so tightly that I thought he had broken it,
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: and he was barking commands at me, be good, be quiet.
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  Speaker 2: The trunks cleaned out for you. He showed me that
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: he had handcuffs. People ask me, when did you know
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  Speaker 2: that you were in danger. When did you become afraid?
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  Speaker 2: And it was absolutely immediately I knew that I was
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  Speaker 2: no longer in control of my life.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: It's tax season and by now, I know we're all
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: a little tired of numbers, but here's an important number
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: you need to hear. Sixteen point five billion dollars. That's
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: how much money and refunds the IRS flagged for possible
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: identity fraud last year. Here's another number, twenty percent. That's
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: the overall increase in identity theft related tax fraud in
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty four alone. But it's not all bad news.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Here's a good number. One hundred million. That's how many
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: data points Life monitors every single second. If your identity stolen,
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Lifelocks US based restoration specialists will fix it, backed by
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: another good number, the million dollar protection package. In fact,
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: restorations guaranteed or your money back. Don't face identity theft
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: in financial losses alone. Strength in numbers with LifeLock identity
• 13:03
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• 13:14
  Speaker 1: to LifeLock dot com slash Nancy for forty percent off
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: terms of ply, thank you LifeLock for being our partner.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: You slip out of the house, you're still in sight
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: of your house. You get a feeling you should turn
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: around and go back. You're still on the street alone,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: and then suddenly you're in a car. How do you
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: get in a car?
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: There's a memory gap there. For me, I've amended.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Gap around the time my fiance was murdered, and it
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: makes no sense to me. And sometimes I don't even
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: know I've forgotten something until someone brings up an event
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: and I have no recollection of it at all, exactly,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: so I get the memory gap. So the next thing
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: you remember, you're in a car with a guy who's
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: hurting your hand. Can you still see your hum or
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: if you already sped past it?
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: He rove pretty quickly down the street, and I didn't
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: quite need to remember street signs at first, because I
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: recognized them, and then I started not to recognize them.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: And I knew that he had no good intentions for me,
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  Speaker 2: and that my goal throughout this entire ordeal was stay
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: alive as long as possible. This wasn't a movie, This
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: wasn't a scripted play. This was real life, and people
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: like to think what they would do in that situation,
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: and they think about what would happen in a movie,
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: and it would be something like I would grab the
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: steering wheel and it would crash into a tree and
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: it would roll down a hill and there'd be rising
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: water and the car would be on fire and be
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: very dramatic, and I'd somehow get out of the car
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: and he would be unconscious, and I'd run into the
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: street and somebody would rescue. That's not real life at all.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: In real life, you do what you need to survive,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: and taking those chances may mean certain death. So for
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: me goal stay alive.
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  Speaker 1: Did you realize that this was who you had been
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: speaking within a chat room?
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: How did you know that?
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: I actually don't know.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: He must have said something to you that connected back
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: to your conversations in the chair, I'm certain, and I
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I learned that throughout the drive. Okay, what were his
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: threats to you?
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: He had said that he had who was going to
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: put me in the trunk? And in any film I'd
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: ever seen, that is not a good place to end up.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: That that is typically where a body ends up throughout
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: this entire ordeal. He would threaten me in ways that
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: were darker than an outright threat. I would never cut
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: you up in pieces. You're way too special to me, weird, awful.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: In some ways, I feel scarier things because they were
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: said gently and terrifyingly. And he just continued to drive.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: And there were a toll booth after told booth, and
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: I can remember the sound of the car stopping at
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: this house, and the car stopped, and he rushed out
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: of the car, came to the other side and dragged
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: me out into this house, down the flight of stairs,
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: which felt like they went on forever and ever and ever,
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: and that they were descent into hell, and that's exactly
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: what they were. He got to the bottom of the
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: stairs and there was a door with a padlock on it.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: He unlocked the door, pushed me inside, picked me up
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: like I weighed absolutely nothing, propped me up on this table,
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: forced me to look at him, and said this is
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: going to be really hard for you. It's okay to cry.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: And then he turned on the lights and this room
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: was blanketed. These walls were blanketed with these devices that
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: I certainly couldn't understand, but that they were there to
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: torture somebody, and that somebody was me, And this has
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: been called by the media a dungeon, and again that's
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: what it was. After that, he removed my clothing and
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: placed a locking dog collar around my neck with another padlock,
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: and then that was the first night.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: How long were you kept a prisoner?
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: It was four days, and he was going to kill
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: me on that last day. And it's interesting because for
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: a long time people would ask me that and I
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: would get a response that was like, oh, it's not
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: so bad, And it became a point of almost embarrassment,
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: and not that I wished I'd been held captive longer
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: by any means, but that when people asked it, it
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: was sort of like that my story wasn't as bad.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: And what I've come to realize is that if you
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: fall from five hundred feet or five thousand feet, you're
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: going to hit the ground just as hard.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Four days naked, wearing a choke collar and a chain
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: and being over and over and over in a dungeon,
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know how anyone could ever make light of that.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Did he get away? And why are you convinced that
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: was going to be your last day on earth? He
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: was going to kill you.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: So up until the last day, which I didn't know
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: was the last day, I did whatever I had to
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: do to survive, no matter how humiliating or boot or disgusting.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: And it's hard to say it like this, but I
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: knew that the minute I was of no use to him,
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: he had to get rid of me. He was going
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: to kill me. This wasn't a situation where he could
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: send me home and.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Say don't tell anybody else in the home.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: No, there was not.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Did you ever hear anything else?
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: No?
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Did he threaten to kill.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: You in the ways that I would never cut you
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: up into pieces? You're way too special for me.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: Did he ever unchain you?
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: There were very brief times where he would take me
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: from the bedroom where he had kept me cheamed a
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: lot of the time, or in the basement. So between
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: those two movie.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: From one place to the next, was he raping you
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: every day?
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: It was hell.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: And people say that and they say, I can't imagine
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: what you've been through, and you can't. Those days where
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: I say it, I'm sitting here now and I'm thinking, Wow,
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: that was my life and I can't.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: But it was.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: And again, it's not a movie. It's it's real life again.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Why were you convinced that was the day he was
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: going to kill you?
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: That morning he had said to me, I'm beginning to
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: like you too much. Tonight we're going to go for
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: a ride. And I remember reading something, watching something. I
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: don't know quite where it came from, but that if
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: something ever happens to you, to personalize yourself and to
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: be a human to this person so that they can't
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: hurt you. And I think that's what I was doing.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: And he was becoming, for lack of a better term, attached.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: And then he fel me for the first time.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Where did they fade you?
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: It was fried chicken from a fast food restaurant.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: It's funny, you remember that.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: Right, Remember odd details like that. And he was going
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: to work, yes, so it was right after the holiday,
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: so there was that vacation time and then he returned
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: to work. And it's amazing the questions that people ask
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: you as a survivor going through something again. They think,
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: this is what I would do in that situation. And
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: people have said, why didn't you yell, why didn't you scream?
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Why don't try to jump out of a window? All
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: these things and they think that you were supposed to
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: be mcguiver. And my goal again was stay alive as
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: long as possible, and he would play mine games where
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: I figured that if I screamed, he would come in
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: and kill me. So my point again to stay alive
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: as long as possible. So I didn't know if he
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: actually left. He may have been standing right outside of
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: the door. And a little bit of time pay which yes,
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: and a little bit of time had past, and I
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: thought about my family, and I thought about my parents
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: and how much they loved me, and I knew that
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: they were going to find me because to me, my
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: parents were superheroes. And if they needed to go get
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: the president out of bed, get air force one, find
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: a wicked witch in the woods who could create a spell,
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: that's what they were going to do, because they are
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: going to find me, they love me that much. But
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: would they find me in time? And I thought, Okay, well,
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: I'm going to fight, And then I realized that I
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: fought before I ended up with a broken nose, and
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: that that's not going to work. And at that moment
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: I lost all hope and had ended up in probably
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: the darkest place that I had been, and during that time,
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: and I thought about my family in a different way.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: When was the last time I told my mom or
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: dad love you, like and really meant it, not just
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: like love you too night, but like, I really love you?
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Did they know that I was okay? Did they know
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: that I didn't leave them? And did they know that
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: how much I loved them? And would I ever get
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: to tell them that again? Would I ever get to
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: hug them? And I started to realize probably not? And
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: I cried and I prayed. I sat quietly if I could,
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: and time passed, hours passed, and I drifted off into
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: a stupor. It certainly wasn't sleep, but I was grateful
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: for whatever it was the point of disassociation that was happening.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: It took me away from what was going on, and
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: I was brought back to awareness by At this point,
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: I'd been changed to the floor in the bedroom, and
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: I was brought back to awareness by these voices screaming
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: something about having guns, and they sounded quite angry, and
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I heard a door crashing and all these feet in
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: the house, and in my desperate, terrified mind that had
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: lost all hope, I thought that he had sent people
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: to kill me.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: And terrified.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: I rolled underneath the bed try to hide from them,
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: and I tried to stay as quiet as possible, and
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: I saw these boots in my mind. They were just
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: gigantic boots in my mind's eye, but these big boots,
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: and I must have made some sort of noise and
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: this mansid movement over there, and he came to the
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: other side of the bed. So I watched these boots
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: walk over and he demanded that I crawl out and
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: put my hands up. And I can remember crawling out
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: from underneath this bed, dragging that cold, heavy chain behind me,
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: trying to cover myself because I didn't have any clothing on,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: and staring into the barrel of a gun and thinking, Okay,
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: this is the moment I'm going to die. But then
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: he turned around and I saw that it was law
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: enforcement by what was written on the back of his jacket,
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: and all these officers rushed in, cut the chain from
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: around my neck, and literally they gave me a second
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: chance of life. It was such a moment of despair
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: and the end of the line which turned into a
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: whole new existence. It was giving me my life back.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: Do you remember when you saw your parents again?
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: I do and.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: There's no words for most of the situation, and there
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: are definitely no words for that. You can't say joy, happiness.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: But what I do remember the most, and my mom
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: and dad were both there, but my dad came up
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: to me first, and what it was was he hugged me,
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: and in that moment, it was truly over. I had
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: been surrounded by law enforcement officers with guns who would
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: protect me, but they wouldn't protect me like my father would.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: And I knew that once I was in his arms,
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: nothing and no one could ever hurt me. In that
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: the situation, this was over. And then my mom got
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: a hug too. But I really remember that dad moment
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: because I was I was safe.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: With me along with Alicia Kazakevich is Adam Coffran and
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Francy Hakes. You know, Adam Coffran, you have seen so
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: many cases of child abduction, child's treatment, child abuse. I
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: know you recall the case of Nicole Lovell. Like you,
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: a little girl about thirteen years old, very sheltered, very naive,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: who thinks she finds online a boyfriend who turns out
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: to be a much older man older than her, who
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: is a star, a track star, an engineering major at
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Virginia Tech who is luring her online. She had no idea,
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: our family has no idea. She was lured out of
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: her home one evening, much like Alisha, except she was murdered.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: I want you to address exactly what happened with Alisha
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: and what has just happened recently with Nicole Lovell who
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: lost her life. All started with online Laurie while she's
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: in the home with her parents.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: You know Alicia's story. You look at and you couldn't
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: have sent a better trust. You know, a lot of
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: predators will try to go after girls, boys that have
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: trust or friends issue. You know, these are kids that
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: may be smaller in.
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: Stature, they may have, as we see, maybe some physical
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: deformities or scars, or there's something that these students and
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: these kids are not connecting to or painfully shy, painfully shy.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: And I was one of those kids that was painfully shy.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't talk to any stranger, you know, regardless of
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: they were friends, my parents for not. And you know
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: in person you can see the shyness. But online and
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: like Alicia said, she felt empowered. She felt like she's safe,
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: that she could talk to other people. She could you
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: have the backspace button? You have a second or third
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: chance to reread that conversation. And I think it's it's
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: building the trust that this is a friend. Now I'm
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: your friend. You have faith.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Here went on for nine months. That's a long time
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: to develop a relationship online, to pretend you're a twelve
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: year old boy and talk about middle school and soccer
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: and what's on TV. That's a long time to lead
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: a double life as a child and lure the victim.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: So what are we learning from this?
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: We're learning that Number One, they're patient. During those eight
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: or nine months. There are are areas where they're going
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: to test. They're going to ask for a photo, They're
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: going to ask you to do something, maybe receive something
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: in the mail or send them something. There's going to
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: be points to see how far they can push, to
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: see how much that other person trusts them.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: How does it go from chatting online and pretending you're
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: twelve or thirteen to actually being able to lure a
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: child out of the home. How does that happen?
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: They're really good at and they make sure they understand what.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Kids do, what video games they play.
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: What kind of you know, what do they follow the Kardashians.
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: Who is it they're interested in? What do they like?
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: They find out all this information from these children from
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: initial chatting, and then they become friends, and then they
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: develop what the child thinks as a trust relationship so
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: that they want to meet them. They think, this is
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: not only a friend, this is my best friend. This
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: is someone who loves me more than anyone. This is
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: someone who never says anything bad to me or about me.
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: They don't insult me, they don't judge me. They say
• 28:59
  Speaker 5: I'm part, they say I'm special.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: And they always take the child's side. Like Alicia was
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: saying earlier, your mom says, Okay, you gotta go to bed,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: you gotta clean your room, you gotta do the dishes.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: That person that fake online will go. Your mom's making
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: you do the dishes. A gear, you gotta go. That's crazy.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: Why she's so made to you? That's right.
• 29:20
  Speaker 5: And they know where to go, and they've known where
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: to go for decades now. The men of the internet
• 29:24
  Speaker 5: had things like chatrooms and bulletin boards. The predators learned
• 29:27
  Speaker 5: where to go, They learned where the kids were, they
• 29:30
  Speaker 5: learned how to talk the way the kids talk, and
• 29:32
  Speaker 5: they established that relationship and I just want to be
• 29:35
  Speaker 5: clear for parents. While a Lisia talks about nine months,
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: we know of cases where grooming has gone on a
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: lot longer than that. I've also seen cases where grooming
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: happen right then that day, boom, the child is out
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: of the house, meeting the predator out.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: The more they're online, the more they're a target.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: And how much do they share? Right to learn the
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: home dynamic and.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Kids are online pre constantly. Now when this happened to me,
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: there was a big dusktop with dial up. Kids have
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: mobile devices and petits have access to them all the time.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: So when you talk about problems of being online, kids
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: are online every second of every day. Maybe not actively,
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: but they're getting notifications.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: And now explaining that to parents that don't know what
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: you're saying. They they may not be talking on the phone,
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: they might be tapping like that or staring at it,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: but they're getting notifications. When you hear a phone or
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: an ipay go or some crazy sound, that's a notification.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: What is it exactly? So they're getting a notification often
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: it's a like it's a comment. And what is so
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: important to kids?
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: Now?
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: Would they develop their entire self worth on is how
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: many followers they have, how many likes they get, and
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: how many comments they get. And if they don't get
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: the appropriate amount of comments on a photo or likes,
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: that they feel like they are less of a person.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: And I've talked to people and it's something that kids
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: will actually do to each other.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Oh slow down, slow down, I'm drinking from a fireegeant here.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: It's too much at once, Elisha. So when you get
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: the ding or it could be silent, a notification that
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: is someone trying to contact them, whether it's a thumbs
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: up sign or a light or a check or so
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: and so is started. I just got a couple of
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: myself while we're sitting here. So and so it started
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: a live video on Instagram. And if it's one of
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: your friends, you don't want to miss it, so you
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: immediately pick up.
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: That's what's so appealing. Well, I have to say to
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: adults too, but especially to kids, it's instant gratification. It's
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: instant knowledge that you have a community of people who
• 31:33
  Speaker 5: are going to piss up the second you do something.
• 31:35
  Speaker 5: So and so took three seconds to like my photo
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: that I just took where I had dinner. I'm special
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: because they're following me that and it feels good and.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: It leads me to something else. Photo location, Oh, yes,
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: you put a photo up. It's not that they can
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: see in the background you're at six Flags or at Disney.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: They can actually tell the city sometimes even street explain
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: that Adam from.
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: The locator correct, So you can opt in to check
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: in on Facebook or Instagram, so it shares your GPS location.
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: You know, Nancy and Adam are at Disneyland together, and
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: then there's our photo. Even sands that within the photo
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: is data that shows where the photo was taken. So
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: on your phone it will categorize by location where photos
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: were taken, as many as a search tool for your
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: technology or your phone or your computer. But the same token,
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: you can reverse engeneric to see where the photo was taken.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: So if you upload a photo, let's say, in Houser together,
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: and we post it online, even though I don't check in,
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: I don't share my location. If someone saves a photo
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: and then uses software, they can see the latitude and
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: longitude where we are and very quickly be able to
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: be here exactly.
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: Hutters can use that to say, oh, you know you
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: have the old version of the phone. You should have
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: a six, or you should have an eight or an X.
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: Don't you have, I'll get you one of those. And
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: that's another way that they groom children is by giving
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: them gifts that their parents won't otherwise. What about tagging? Yeah,
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: I'm against it. So what people don't what I think
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: a lot of parents don't understand, is there are all
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: these privacy settings for all these apps that you use,
• 33:13
  Speaker 5: and the companies are constantly changing the privacy settings. So
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: if you don't go in on I recommend a monthly
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: basis and check your privacy settings, they may very well
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: be different than what you yourself set them at. So,
• 33:25
  Speaker 5: for example, on Facebook, I have it set to privacy
• 33:28
  Speaker 5: so that if someone tries to tag me in a photo,
• 33:31
  Speaker 5: that is, we take a group photo here and you
• 33:33
  Speaker 5: go and post it on Facebook and my face Facebook
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: recognizes because of their facial recognition software, which is as
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: sophisticated in law enforcement in this world, then they can
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: I can be tagged and people can look to see
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: where else I appear in with other photos that might
• 33:49
  Speaker 5: be my own personal photos. So you have to set
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: that up. I have it set up so that if
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: someone tries to tag me, I get an email notification
• 33:57
  Speaker 5: so and so is tagging you?
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: Is that okay? And of course I always say no
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: because I don't want.
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: People tracing my social footprint online.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: And the takeaway from that is don't allow your or
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: your children's likeness photos to be tagged. The result of
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: tagging could be what Adam.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: Well, I can stalk you now virtually, so instead of
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: being in person, I have to follow you from your
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: house to your favorite park to go play where you
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: play baseball, and then from there to your favorite convenience
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: store to get a drink. Afterwards, I can sit back
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: in my home and watch all the places you end
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: up in across your town, across your city. I know
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: you like to go here, you play here because you've
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: been tagged by your friends and maybe even other parents
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: at a softball game, and so I know, Hey, every
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: Sunday you're playing softball here.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: So now I know where to come find you, I
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: know where to wait.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: And what else you can do is through that that
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: person can then friend the mutual friends. And I know
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: a lot of kids, and that it'd be adults too,
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: who will say oh, while they know this person, then
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: I'm going to add them, and kids do that very
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: much so so it's a very easy way to get
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: kids get to know the kids through their friends and
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: more of a SOCIALI I didn't.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: How many times have you heard, oh, we're just friends
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: on Facebook. They may have never even met in real life,
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: but there's a vast network out there who knows where
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: you are. And a lot of people think, oh, well,
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: so I'm at Disney and I'm taking this picture. Well,
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: I don't want the world to know I'm here right now.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: I'll post it tomorrow. Same thing, because that predator has
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: already tagged the child. They know the vicinity where you
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: are at that moment, or where you were the day before.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: Just let's just say Disney, it's going to go for
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: one day when you travel out of town. That's right,
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: You're going to be there for several days. That child
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: is at Disney now. And it's so important for parents
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: to understand.
• 35:50
  Speaker 5: I talked to so many parents that say, when I
• 35:53
  Speaker 5: ask them, how often do you take your child's phone
• 35:55
  Speaker 5: and look at it and look at the search historam
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: or their iPad?
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: So many the.
• 35:59
  Speaker 5: Majority of parents say never. I wouldn't even know what
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: to look for. So that's a massive dereliction of prontal
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: duty in my opinion, for them not to know exactly
• 36:08
  Speaker 5: what is happening with their kids on their phone. But
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: to children, that is their lifeblood now, that is their
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: social network, that is everything. How many people they have,
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: what their friends are doing. I'll be watching kids' nieces, nephews,
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: people that are related to me. They'll be scrolling their
• 36:24
  Speaker 5: phone and me, what are you doing. I'm just looking
• 36:25
  Speaker 5: to see whatever he's doing on Instagram.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: You know, we're.
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: Thanksgiving dinner and they're looking to see what everybody's doing
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: on Instagram because instant gratification, instant social relation is way
• 36:36
  Speaker 5: of life.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Now. Another issue about posting those photos at a later day,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: like the next day, same thing though, because the predator
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: sees the soccer field, or sees the overt shop, or
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: sees the school playground or the name of the school,
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: it takes no time at all to figure out what
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: school that is, what insignia that would that stay, and
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: then be right there when they get out of school.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: It's just that easy. In your case, in Nicole Lovel's case,
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: you're in your home, you're not out taking photos of
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: yourself and posting them online. She's in her home, So
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: what is the takeaway? How can I fight that whole big.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: Thing in the cool levels case? And in so many
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: cases of what a predator is looking for is vulnerability,
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: and every single person has a vulnerability.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: All had a lot of vulnerabilities. She did. She had
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: a climar get very ill as a child. She had
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: continuing health issues that she was fighting to.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: The large scar in her neck which she had been
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: bullied for. She had been through had been.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: Bullied for that scar. A Lott saved your life, by
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: the way, but still and then.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: This order he's an adult, but he's eighteen, he's an
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: older boy, comes along, he's in college and says you're beautiful,
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: You're perfect, and feeds thys in securities.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: She told her they were going to get married and
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: have a family. According to her, that's what she told
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: a little friend before she was murdered.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: And she was so young when she slipped out away,
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: when she slipped out, she took her water bottle and
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: her minion blanket, which I think is paints such a
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: picture a minion line of how vulnerable and how innocent
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: and sweet this little girl was, and how desperate she was.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: And your family can love you and do everything right,
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: but sometimes that isn't enough for kids. They want that
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: other attention.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: I say, the only protection takeaway that I can can divult,
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: that I can discern right now is parental control. Now,
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: in your case, the internet, this was all just a
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: new and fascinating thing, but now we have a better
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: idea of how to combat with I have to.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: Invade your child's privacy, and people go, what, that's really uncomfortable.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: But I don't really have a problem with that, thank you.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: Because I tell parents monitor the activity, don't do it,
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: and say, wow, you did this, let's talk about it.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: It's not about that. Kids are supposed to make mistakes.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: They're supposed to live their lives. But if something does
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: go wrong, if they're being bullied, if they're being sexually exploited,
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: if they're being lured, you can be on top of that.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: You just says something very important, being bullied online. I
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: want to talk about that. I'm glad you brought that up. Alisha.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: Alisha not just a survivor, an abduction survivor, but now
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: an advocate and the inspiration for Alicia's Law. I want
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: to talk about Megan Meyer, beautiful little girl bullied in
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: it a horrific scenario. I could have even made that up.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: Who ultimately died? Who committed suicide because of cyber bullying?
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Are you familiar with that case?
• 39:50
  Speaker 5: Unfortunately, it's all too common now. We see this a lot.
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: We see children being cyber bullied and as young as
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: eight years old making their lives. And the problem with
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: it is what we've already talked about. These children are
• 40:05
  Speaker 5: being cyber bullied. It's not like when we were growing up.
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you have the online bullying and then
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: you have deception behind it. And so this is a
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: story of a thirteen fourteen year old teenager who has
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: got some self esteem issue. She recently lost her sorry
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: about her weight.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: A thirteen year old girl, Megan was worried about her
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: weight and she had a falling out an argument with
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: a little friend of school. The friend's mother decided to
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: intervene and posed as a sixteen year old attractive young boy, Josh,
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: becomes her friend online and then it turns what happened
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: at him.
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: So you have another grown adult mother who creates this
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: artificial profile and by all accounts for a revenge of
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: this bawling out with with her daughter and her friend
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: and overwheets becomes this online relationship, this trusted person, the friend,
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: Josh Josh. And then we see to quote, the world
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: would be a better place without you. Out of the blue.
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: It wasn't they gotten in some sort of argument. By
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: all accounts, it looks like everything was fine, and now
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: the world would be a better place without you.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: Josh did something else. He took their flirting messages where
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: she would talk back to him and open up to him,
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: and shared them with a lot of other people online,
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: and then they all started bullying her. Now, remember, Josh
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: is not real, fancy Josh is this other little girl's mother.
• 41:41
  Speaker 5: She's a grown woman. And that's why this kind of
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: cyber bullying is so insidious today in a different way
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: than bullying was in the past. Because Megan would have
• 41:51
  Speaker 5: believed her whole world hates her. People are liking it,
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: people are sharing it. What that means is nobody likes her.
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: Everybody hates you. She doesn't want to live anymore. She
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: cannot get away from it because kids can't get away
• 42:06
  Speaker 5: from their phones.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: It is her whole way, it's her whole world. Her
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: world is it really is her entire world. It's everybody
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: she knows is suddenly attacking.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: Her, making fun of her, belittling her, mocking her for
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: some of the horrible person she is. Her family has no
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: idea all this is going on. They see their little
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: girl getting more and more and more depressed until she
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: kills herself. After this grown woman posing as a little
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: boy says, you know what, we don't all just be
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: better off if you were dead, Go kill yourself.
• 42:38
  Speaker 5: And Nancy, I guarantee you you've had people tell you
• 42:41
  Speaker 5: that online.
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: I have people don't like what you.
• 42:44
  Speaker 5: Say or how you say it. They don't like how
• 42:46
  Speaker 5: you look or or what you're doing with your hair today.
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: We get that online, but we're grown ups and we
• 42:52
  Speaker 5: can deal with it. Teenage girls and boys, it's their
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: whole life. They don't see a way out. And that's
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: why it's so important for parents to know what is
• 43:02
  Speaker 5: happening in their child's online world. You may have to
• 43:05
  Speaker 5: know Alicia.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: What is Alicia's Law?
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: Alicia's Law is a great tool to help fight this
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: issue in a way that really works. Alicia's Law is
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: my namesake, and it has passed in eleven states. We're
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: working and passing it at all fifty, but it definitely
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: takes time. At some point between my rescue and the trial,
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: law enforcement came to my house and they said, we
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: need you to identify yourself in something. Didn't know what
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: that meant, didn't really ask, and they said my parents
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: had to leave because if they saw it, they could
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: arrest them. Essentially, they sat down, they opened up a computer,
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: and on this computer, there I was, with my hands
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: bound above my head, crying, bleeding, begging, completely broken and
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: being tortured. And I had been told that I was
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: rescued because he was live streaming what he was doing
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: and somebody was able to recognize my missing poster and
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: tie it to the little girl in this horrendous video.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: But I never really put together what that meant. And
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: so I know what it's like to be sexually exploited online.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: And that's what Alicia's Law really fights. It helps the
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: fund the Internet Crimes against Hilden task forces, who are
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: so overwhelmed and underfunded. Some states don't even have one
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: full time officer investigating Internet crimes against children, not one
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: full time, and so it provides training resources boots on
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: the ground by creating a dedicated revenue stream that goes
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: directly to them. Now, if you go to my website
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: or you look online, there's a map of the United States,
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: and this map is blanketed in these little red dots.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: And what these red dots signify are clusters of computers
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: that are uploading, downloading, and trading graphics statistic child pornography,
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: which is a term I don't think that's a fitting term.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: Pornography has an error of consent. That's not what this is.
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: This is crime scene images. On this map, fifty five
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: percent of these dots, over half are hands on a fender,
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: hand on fenders with a local child victim. That means
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: that they're not people who are only watching it, they're
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: creating the content. Law enforcement doesn't have enough resources to
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: go and save these children, and that's Releasius law provides.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: I work on Alicia's Law with a group called Protect.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: This group is amazing. What they do is they don't
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: just talk about issues, they actually go out and effect change.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: And that's what we're doing together.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: The live streaming is really what got them.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: Caught absolutely, and in cases like that, there's these collections
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: where predators will collect. The most popular case where there's
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: the most videos and most graphic whatever it may be.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: And when I was I think it was about sixteen,
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: they came to the house and they had me sign
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: a paper to say that if this ever showed up
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: in a court case, they would alert me. And then
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: I designed it again when I was eighteen, and thankfully
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: I never got one of those notices. But there's people
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: who get them nearly every day that their image has
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: been shared and people are still looking at it in
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: other cases, and many of these people are now adults.
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: And to be taken back to that horrible place and
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: to know that people are watching this torture because they
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: enjoy it. To see to be abused as one thing,
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: but to see it through the eyes of your abuser
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: and to know that there's people out there who are
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: enjoying it is disgusting. And this is happening. When people
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: think of this, they often tie it to my case
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: and they think, Okay, well, these are just kidnapped kids,
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: and no, that's not really the case at all. Some
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: of them, yes, absolutely, but over ninety percent of these
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: cases are done by those who are the family members
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: and the neighbors. That's who this is. These are the
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: people who go to school with your children or in
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: your neighborhood running around. These are real people in the
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: houses in the neighborhoods that you live in, and we
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: have to stop them. This is not something we can
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: push under the rug. Yes it's hard to talk about.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: Yes it's nasty, Yes it's uncomfortable. It doesn't matter. It
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: won't go away just because we don't talk about it.
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: That was a lot of information to take in. Let's
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: boil it down, okay. Tips to cyber safety. Talk to
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: your children about dangers that come with oversharing on social media.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: Even seemingly harmless information like your interests like your guinea pigs,
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: your kiddy cats, Fortnite or Minecraft. Grooming by these predators
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: takes place over months, so be careful about who your
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: child is talking to online. Any childer team can become
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: the victim of a predator online. They do not discriminate
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: based on gender, ethnicity, education, socioeconomic status, income, religion. Teach
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: your childer team to never share private info or identify
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: info like a name, an address, their school, their soccer field,
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: with a person online that is not known or is
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: not trusted in real life. A predator uses this information
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: to groom and locate your child or teen. Be careful
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: what information they share about their interests, their home life,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: and more which can be used against them by a predator.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: And remind your child or your teen to choose an
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: online handle or a user name a screen name carefully.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: So much can be inferred from how your child or
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: teen represents themselves online, and that very handle can prompt
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: a predator's initial contact. Predators learn from the chats and
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: the information your children share. Remember, children can be exploited
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: or even blackmailed, often sexually, by a p who gets
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: access to embarrassing information or secrets that your child or
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: team could just hand over. Handing over even one photo
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: gives that predator leverage. Don't give a predator that opening.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: Don't let their toe in the door. Only friend people
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: you actually know. Don't friend people that are friends of
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: friends of friends. Very important, disable geo tagging on all
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: your mobile devices. It has the ability to automatically pinpoint
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: and disclose your child's exact location. Now that option is
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: found under settings on most devices. You can also contact
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: your service provider or a device manufacturer you can find
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: that online. Discuss the dangers of checking in various applications
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: that allow your child or team to share their location
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: on social media sites. Strengthen the privacy settings on all
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: social networking sites. Ensure these settings remain unchanged after you
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: do those automatic updates. Social networking sites often publish posts
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: as public based on your default settings. Monitor your child's
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: activity on the computer and all mobile devices desktops, laptops, tablets,
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: cell phones, handheld video game devices with online connectivity. There
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: are numerous parental monitoring options available online or through your
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: service provider. Don't feel like your spye on your child
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: or team. You're the parent. This is your responsibility. Know
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: the passwords on all the devices used by your child
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: or teen and check them. If you suspect your child
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: a teen is being cyberbullied. Be supportive to your child.
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: Don't make them feel worse than they already do. Gently,
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: get the facts, and if necessary, contact the school or
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: law enforcement. Teach your child or teen that there are
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: negative consequences for cyberbullies. Cyberbullying tips for kids. Always think
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: about what you post. You never know what someone can forward,
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: on and on and on. Being kind to others online
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: will help keep you safe. Don't share anything that could
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: hurt or embarrass anybody. Keep your password a secret, even
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: from other kids. Even kids that seem like your friends
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: could unwittingly give that password away or use it in
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: ways you don't want. You always have your children's passwords.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: That's got to be a condition on them having an
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: iPad or a cell phone. Think about who sees what
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: you post online. Strangers, friends, friends of friends, privacy settings,
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: or for that very reason, they control who sees what.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: Parents must be in the loop. You, as a parent,
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: must know what your children are doing online and who
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: they're doing it with. You must friend or follow your child.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: You lay down the law about what is and is
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: not okay to do online. Reinforce, remind them you love
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: them and you want them safe. They must feel free
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: and open to talk to you about messages they get
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: or things they see online that gets them worried, sad
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: or scared. You must report cyberbullying, but you'll only find
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: out about it if they tell you.