Latest / Loud & Lifted / Quick Lift: The 6 Glass Walls That Stop Women's Careers (8-Min Tactical Guide)
Transcript
- 0:00Have you ever walked out of a meeting thinking,
- 0:02why was that harder for me than it needed to
- 0:04be? Like, you said the right thing, did the work,
- 0:06showed up, prepared, and still somehow got sidelined?
- 0:10Welcome to Loud and Lifted Quick Lift, the under
- 0:1210 minute episode where we turn big insights
- 0:14into small, repeatable moves you can use this
- 0:16week. I'm your host, Betsy Hamm. Today, I'm recapping
- 0:19my conversation with Dr. Amy Deal, author of
- 0:22Glass Walls. And she makes this point that honestly
- 0:25explains so much. We all talk about glass ceilings,
- 0:29but the bigger problem is glass walls, invisible
- 0:32barriers that block women sideways, out of key
- 0:35rooms, roles, relationships, and momentum. She
- 0:39breaks workplace gender bias into six glass walls.
- 0:43Let's hit the highlights fast, and then I'll
- 0:45give you what we can do at the end. The first
- 0:47gender bias is male privilege. This is the foundation.
- 0:52Workplaces were largely built by men for men.
- 0:55So the default setting often favors men. It may
- 0:59show up as the boys club. Relationships and decisions
- 1:02happening in spaces women aren't automatically
- 1:04included in. Examples that Amy shared is the
- 1:08after hours bonding that's sometimes harder to
- 1:10attend if you're carrying home responsibilities.
- 1:13Casual norms like golf outings where trust and
- 1:16access get built. And even language like calling
- 1:19a mixed group, hey, you guys or man hours or
- 1:24councilman. There's a lot of language that has
- 1:26just been masculine. And the quick truth is most
- 1:29of it isn't said with evil intent or to be malicious.
- 1:33It's just how we have been raised. It's just
- 1:35part of our conversation. We talk. It's just
- 1:37how the workforce is. But intent doesn't erase
- 1:40impact. Gender bias number two, disproportionate
- 1:43constraints. Women are allowed in, but their
- 1:47behavior is often more restrictive. The margin
- 1:50for error is tiny. And this is where you'll see
- 1:53women being interrupted or talked over. A new
- 1:56term that I learned from Amy is he peeding. When
- 1:59a woman says an idea and it lands like a dud,
- 2:02and then a man repeats it and suddenly it's genius.
- 2:05I think we can all relate to that one. And then
- 2:07the double bind. If you're confident, you get
- 2:09backlash. If you're tentative, You get dismissed.
- 2:12And lastly, your parents being scrutinized way
- 2:14more than a man. It's exhausting because you're
- 2:17not just doing the job. You're managing the reaction
- 2:19to you doing the job. Gender bias number three,
- 2:23insufficient support. This one is huge. Women
- 2:26often get less mentoring. less sponsorship, and
- 2:30less advocacy, and also less access to informal
- 2:33networks where people are actually selected for
- 2:35opportunities. Amy shared a wild finding. Women
- 2:38can sometimes be more likely to leave when they're
- 2:40ostracized than when they're harassed, because
- 2:43at least with harassment, there's a chance that
- 2:45the organization responds. Ostracism is lonely
- 2:48and invisible, and you can't fix what you can't
- 2:51name. So this just goes back to the more of the
- 2:53reason why it's so important to have support
- 2:55in your network and your organization. Gender
- 2:57bias number four, devaluation. This is when women's
- 3:01work or presence gets subtly treated as less
- 3:04important. And she gave two big examples. First
- 3:07is the office housework. Now, this could be the
- 3:10note taking in the meetings, the party planning
- 3:13for the entire group, ordering food, cleaning
- 3:16up the kitchen, being the helper, doing the work
- 3:19that is important and it keeps things running,
- 3:22but it doesn't get rewarded. And the other example
- 3:24she gave was benevolent sexism. Comments or actions
- 3:27that sound nice, but they shrink you. Like, young
- 3:31lady, sweetie, you should smile more. Or deciding
- 3:35not to offer you a big opportunity because someone
- 3:37just assumes they're protecting you, that you
- 3:39don't have the time or because you have kids.
- 3:42Again, the intent is not necessarily malicious,
- 3:45but the impact is. And this is also where women
- 3:48get judged no matter what. If you're too attractive,
- 3:51you're not taken seriously. If you're not attractive,
- 3:54then you don't have executive presence. It's
- 3:56like you're never allowed to just exist and lead.
- 3:59There's a balance of being too much or too little
- 4:02of any of those things. Number five, hostility.
- 4:05Hostility is the overstuff, the moments that
- 4:07are meant to put women back in their place. This
- 4:10can be sexual harassment, intimidation, sarcasm,
- 4:14or the vibe that you don't belong here. Here's
- 4:17what's sneaky. Hostility doesn't always look
- 4:19like yelling and super aggressive. Sometimes
- 4:22it's just punishment for confidence. If a woman
- 4:25speaks directly, she's abrasive. If she sets
- 4:28boundaries, she's difficult. If she leads with
- 4:31confidence, she's too much. And the goal is the
- 4:34same. Make her smaller, quieter, and easier to
- 4:37ignore. A quick flag for here is listen for language
- 4:40that attacks how she is instead of what she did.
- 4:43And guess what? Most of this is not driven by
- 4:46men. Think about that. Our last gender bias is
- 4:49acquiescence. This one is the result of all others.
- 4:52When you run into walls enough at times, eventually
- 4:55you adapt. It can look like self silencing, shrinking
- 4:58your goals, opting out of promotions because
- 5:01you know that higher level comes with more stress,
- 5:03more judgment and fewer supporters. Or you start
- 5:07thinking it's just not worth the hassle. This
- 5:09is how we hold ourselves back. And it's not because
- 5:12we're not optimistic. And sometimes it's not
- 5:14even because we're not confident. It's because
- 5:16we're realistic. We know what we're going to
- 5:19run into the higher that we climb. So again,
- 5:22this goes into the glass walls before you even
- 5:24get to the glass ceiling. And Amy's point was
- 5:27important. It isn't that women lack ambition.
- 5:30It's women responding rationally to a system
- 5:32that makes advancement. more costly. So listening
- 5:35to those six gender biases sounds a little depressing,
- 5:38right? I mean, how can we get past this? What
- 5:41can we do? Well, the reality is it takes leaders,
- 5:44it takes allies, and it takes women ourselves
- 5:47and supporting each other. The whole point of
- 5:49this podcast. First, if you're a leader, fix
- 5:52the environment. Amy's stance is clear. The primary
- 5:55responsibility sits with the leadership and culture.
- 5:58That means make pay and promotion processes transparent
- 6:02and fair. Reward things like office housework
- 6:05or hire support for it. Don't unofficially assign
- 6:07women all the time. Build real flexibility and
- 6:11family support. Not just the performative, we
- 6:14care. Audit who's getting stretch assignments
- 6:16and visibility and correct it. Translation, don't
- 6:19tell women to be tougher, make the game less
- 6:22rigged. And again, this is being intentional.
- 6:24A lot of times these things have just been set
- 6:26up. It's the way you've always been doing it,
- 6:28but it's taking a step back and really looking
- 6:30at your policies and your procedures, but then
- 6:32also your culture and how is your team actually
- 6:35handling themselves. Next, if you're an ally,
- 6:39interrupt bias in real time. This is simple and
- 6:41powerful. If a woman gets interrupted, bring
- 6:44it back. Hold on, I want to hear her finish that.
- 6:46Or if it's the heap heating, if that happens,
- 6:50just saying, Maria just said that. Can we go
- 6:52back to her point? And if someone makes a bias
- 6:55comment, use Amy's tool. Flip it to test it.
- 6:58Would you say that to a man? Would you tell a
- 7:00man to smile more, to be happier? If the answer
- 7:03is no, you found your bias. And lastly, if you're
- 7:06a woman who sees this or having it happen to
- 7:09her, to fellow coworker, you have to name it,
- 7:11depersonalize it and build other options. Amy's
- 7:15practical strategies is one, learn to recognize
- 7:17bias so you can label it fast. Again, we're just
- 7:20used to this. Two, depersonalize it. It's not
- 7:23you, it's the system. So don't take it personal.
- 7:26Three, build your support network. This again
- 7:29goes back to the importance of who's around you,
- 7:31your mentors, your sponsors, your peers, your
- 7:33circle. Have that support network that you can
- 7:36talk through things, have conversations, get
- 7:38advice. And lastly, keep alternatives on the
- 7:41table. So one boss, one job, one company doesn't
- 7:44get to hold your confidence hostage. It can feel
- 7:47super overwhelming and frankly depressing when
- 7:50we break down these biases. I'm sure we can all
- 7:52relate to more than we want to. It isn't hopeless,
- 7:55however, we just have to continue to make progress
- 7:58and the only way we are going to do that is together.
- 8:01If you haven't listened to Amy's full episode,
- 8:03I strongly encourage you to do so and then send
- 8:05this to a friend or an ally. Please continue
- 8:08to stay loud for what's right and lift each other.