Latest / The Danger Zoo / Area 52 (not Area 51)

Transcript

Area 52 (not Area 51) · The Danger Zoo

• 0:02
  Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
• 0:08
  Welcome to Danger Zoo. Close enough.
• 0:15
  Read it. Welcome to Danger Zoo, DANDERZOO
• 0:24
  Department of anomalous and non human genetic entities,
• 0:27
  reconnaissance and zoological occult operations.
• 0:32
  And that was Baby Bird. I am Coyote, your game warden.
• 0:36
  So what happened last time was Hazy got throwed up by a big old
• 0:40
  worm. Pretty Kitty got sucked up by a
• 0:43
  big old worm. And then that worm disappeared
• 0:45
  with light fragments and so did some weird extraterrestrial.
• 0:50
  So when that happened, gentlemen, I put out a beacon
• 0:54
  looking for Pretty Kitty and his biological echo signatures could
• 1:00
  not be read in our universe. However, I was picking up some
• 1:03
  random readings that was jumping through other universes until
• 1:07
  all of a sudden boom, this shit popped up in Nevada of all
• 1:11
  places. Nevada.
• 1:14
  Nevada is basically a different universe, so that makes sense.
• 1:19
  I don't like Nevada. Nobody likes Nevada, but you
• 1:22
  guys know what's in Nevada. Nothing sin.
• 1:27
  Yep, Yep, in Nevada is Area 51 boys.
• 1:32
  No. Really.
• 1:35
  I have those in New Mexico. It is in New Mexico.
• 1:37
  What? The fuck?
• 1:39
  Then why are we in Nevada? But I am bad with directions, so
• 1:43
  we ended up in Nevada. We were supposed to be going
• 1:45
  Area 51 because I thought that's where they're pretty Kitty.
• 1:48
  But where we ended up was in Nevada and it's Area 52, but
• 1:51
  it's it's essentially the same thing.
• 1:53
  Sweet. Nice shave not.
• 2:01
  When Pretty Cutie vanished in the Mongolian desert, we assumed
• 2:04
  he was consumed by the worm. But my scanner pinged something
• 2:06
  strange, a faint echo pulse signature after the worm
• 2:09
  disappeared. So we encrypted a Veil log
• 2:14
  reference called Specimen PK Retrieval.
• 2:17
  I'm assuming that stood for Pretty Kitty and a bio
• 2:19
  integration sequence at Groom Lake.
• 2:22
  There's no worm, there's no UFO, just Pretty Kitty alive,
• 2:26
  question mark and in trouble. Veil is taking him to Area 52
• 2:31
  where he's being held in Cryo Vault 6 allegedly, and
• 2:36
  interrogated by something far worse.
• 2:38
  A failed. Oh, I can't tell you that.
• 2:42
  The rest of that, don't worry about that.
• 2:43
  Yeah, that's all. That's all.
• 2:44
  Nothing. Anyways, here we are.
• 2:46
  Area 52 boys. The mission code name Black
• 2:50
  Vault. Save the pussy.
• 2:53
  Save the resident. Twink Location Groom Lake,
• 2:56
  Nevada Area 52 Objective Infiltrate the facility using
• 3:01
  stealth or tactical breach. Locate and rescue Pretty Kitty
• 3:04
  from Cryo Vault 6. Survive whatever's in there and
• 3:08
  escape before anything happens. The mission set.
• 3:12
  It begins at 0300A Sandstorm sweeps across the Nevada desert,
• 3:16
  providing partial cover. The team enters via a hidden
• 3:19
  drainage tunnel and bypass the outer security grid.
• 3:22
  Once inside, we traverse an empty, eerily clean facility.
• 3:25
  Flickering lights, abandoned terminals until we trigger a
• 3:29
  retinal scanner near Cryo Vault 6 and the alarms kick in.
• 3:32
  And that's when the hunt begins. So boys, we're in this map.
• 3:38
  Tell me where you would like to place your characters.
• 3:42
  I mean, where are we entering from?
• 3:43
  Are we entering from the north? I think the intention is we're
• 3:47
  all scattered throughout the complex.
• 3:51
  Correct. Because we've been exploring.
• 3:54
  Yeah, I'm over here. That's where I am.
• 3:55
  I'm looking in this room. I want to be in this hallway.
• 3:59
  I I kind of want to check out this area right now up north.
• 4:03
  It's a little solitaire area. Is there a bathroom somewhere?
• 4:10
  Yes, there is the bathroom. Put me there.
• 4:13
  The baby bird was to shit already.
• 4:15
  Damn bro, we've been here for 4 minutes.
• 4:18
  No kidding, baby bird. You got to open the bathroom
• 4:21
  well for initiative. Oh, No 8. 808 All right, all
• 4:31
  right. What does this guy do?
• 4:33
  7 You go first. Dude I'm so startled I got it's
• 4:39
  a good thing I had my freaking shot off shotgun in my hand.
• 4:44
  And then I pull out my gun. I'm going.
• 4:47
  To I'm going to shoot him center mass.
• 4:50
  All right, roll. One nice.
• 4:55
  Oh no, not only do you miss, it goes through the wall.
• 4:59
  Give me a damage roll. No for me bitch.
• 5:04
  What do I roll? No, you don't roll anything.
• 5:07
  He's going to tell you what damage you take, son.
• 5:09
  Of a. Bitch Oh boy 2.
• 5:13
  Hey, Hazy takes 2 point of damage because baby Bird blasts
• 5:17
  through the bathroom missing the Vale guard right through the
• 5:20
  mirror where Hazy is just hanging out on the other side.
• 5:23
  Just nails on the two points. That dude.
• 5:28
  Scared the shit out of me. I literally shit my pants
• 5:32
  because I have to go so bad. OK, well, this guy goes, what's
• 5:37
  your AC? Oh, it's it's that he rolls a
• 5:39
  four. He he shoots at you and nothing
• 5:41
  happens. What are you doing?
• 5:43
  What am I doing? I'm going to hit him with my
• 5:45
  shotgun because I'm still scared.
• 5:47
  All right, go for it. What you mean shoot him or like
• 5:50
  hit him like melee? No, I'm going to, I'm going to
• 5:52
  melee him. Wait.
• 5:55
  Shouldn't I? Shouldn't I get a turn at this
• 5:57
  point? I've been shot.
• 5:58
  I've been brought into the accident.
• 6:00
  You're you know what? You're right.
• 6:01
  Go ahead and roll an initiative. Hazy.
• 6:04
  You're going to shoot through the wall.
• 6:06
  That's exactly what I was planning on doing.
• 6:07
  It's a big ass hole, but apparently 17. 17 is pretty
• 6:13
  good. Hey, So you're going to go
• 6:13
  first. Next round, however, you're
• 6:15
  going to roll at a disadvantage because there's holes in the
• 6:17
  walls, but they're not a, it's not a big hole.
• 6:19
  So you're just kind of shooting blind.
• 6:21
  I got pistol arrows, I can just put them in there.
• 6:24
  Like shoot general direction. Yeah, you stick your hand in
• 6:27
  there, You stick the pistol there.
• 6:29
  You can't see in there. Oh, I don't need to see.
• 6:32
  I'm just shooting back at whatever the fuck shot.
• 6:34
  No shot at me. OK, baby bird, what'd you get?
• 6:38
  12 all. Right, that does nothing.
• 6:43
  This guy goes Jesus, all right, He, he rolls an 8, he fires at
• 6:48
  you. Nothing.
• 6:49
  You guys are point blank range. Just children screaming, firing
• 6:53
  like it's a water gun fight. You're so bad at this hazy.
• 6:56
  Your turn. I'm literally just going to
• 6:58
  stick my pistols in the holes and shoot in the general area of
• 7:01
  that guy. All right, don't.
• 7:05
  I'm not going to have you roll a disadvantage.
• 7:07
  I'm going to have you roll twice.
• 7:08
  Give me two D20 rolls and tell me what they are. 1st is a 16
• 7:14
  and a 10. Good, good, give me a damage
• 7:17
  roll. Which is what do I?
• 7:19
  What's my pistol arrows? D Eights.
• 7:21
  D Eights. Actually, it's going to be AD 6
• 7:24
  because you're not finally firing dual pistols.
• 7:26
  You only got 1 pistol in there. So give me AD 6. 3.
• 7:31
  All right, you hit the dude for three points and he is wounded
• 7:34
  and just, he's screaming and freaking out.
• 7:36
  He's being shot from all angles at this point.
• 7:41
  Maybe. You're currently experiencing
• 7:43
  PTSD. No kidding dude, he just took a
• 7:46
  shit. That's the only reason he's not
• 7:51
  shitting himself right now. I'm going to blast him.
• 7:53
  All right. 09. Nine with +2.
• 7:58
  Yeah, now you still miss him. Jesus man, he blasts back at
• 8:02
  you. What's your AC?
• 8:07
  17. Oh yeah, he misses again.
• 8:10
  AC, you're up. I'm going to be even more pissed
• 8:13
  off that he just ignore me. Can I like kick up the hole a
• 8:16
  little bigger before I stick both my pistols in?
• 8:18
  Yeah, sure. Give me an athletics role.
• 8:21
  What was the damage to that last time?
• 8:22
  3 right? I'm sorry.
• 8:24
  Yeah, it was 3. OK.
• 8:27
  All right, so 2 and fuck nevermind.
• 8:31
  Of course, in the classic hazy way, it's a four.
• 8:34
  OK, you kicked the wall and like you kicked a right on the stud.
• 8:37
  Nothing happened. That sounds fun.
• 8:39
  I'm. Going to shoot him again 13.
• 8:45
  That hits give me a damage. 6. Good Lord, you just blast the
• 8:52
  dude in the chest. He actually has bulletproof vest
• 8:56
  on, but he had it unzipped because we all know what it's
• 8:58
  like to, you know, have to undress when you're on watch.
• 9:01
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and he hadn't quite zipped
• 9:04
  it up yet before you just bum rushed him in the shitter and he
• 9:07
  just took the whole thing to the chest.
• 9:09
  His whole chest caved in and he just slumps to the ground.
• 9:13
  You guys are now out of danger. Anybody wants spaghetti?
• 9:16
  Yeah. OK, well.
• 9:19
  He's like anyways. Can I can I go check out this
• 9:27
  office in the middle in front of me?
• 9:30
  You hear all that noise, you don't even like radio into check
• 9:33
  on him. He's just fucking whatever.
• 9:36
  I mean the screaming and gunshots stopped so I'm assuming
• 9:39
  they're fine. It it got settled.
• 9:43
  All right, give me give me a look check.
• 9:46
  Oh no, I decided to use a physical dice today and my first
• 9:51
  roll of the days in that one. Oh, OK.
• 9:54
  Just like mine. You go to that door, you open it
• 9:57
  up, it, it opens up, and then boom, roll for initiative.
• 10:02
  Oh shit, damn. Clown, You don't know what this
• 10:05
  is, but Pretty Kitty, who is unconscious somewhere, and Baby
• 10:09
  Bird, who is awake but scared somehow hears a familiar clown
• 10:15
  laughing. Not again.
• 10:21
  The me clown returns. I rolled an 11.
• 10:28
  Right on, right on, right on. You will go last.
• 10:31
  Nice. Wow.
• 10:34
  Yeah, hold on. While that is going on, let's
• 10:39
  see. First the clown is going to go
• 10:41
  after you. He's going to honk this horn.
• 10:43
  Oh, he honks it, but nothing happens.
• 10:45
  It just goes. And then this other guy, also
• 10:49
  scared because he was just rummaging through desks looking
• 10:52
  for shit to steal, just fires the shots.
• 10:54
  Bang and it goes right past your ear.
• 10:57
  You're up, daddy. OK, well.
• 10:59
  I hate clowns, so I'm going. To.
• 11:04
  Attack the clown with microbar as improvised weapons S + 2
• 11:10
  damage let's. See, I don't if I hit.
• 11:14
  I rolled a. 6 to hit Yes Sir, that does nothing.
• 11:23
  Yeah, I might have to put this D20 in and die.
• 11:27
  Jail. I would it does not sound good.
• 11:31
  You don't know this, but for the viewers, the meat clown that
• 11:34
  thought he is currently facing is the same Meat Clown, Baby
• 11:37
  Bird and Pretty Kitty fought in the Meat clown episode.
• 11:40
  Although this clown is cybernetically enhanced,
• 11:44
  probably because he's under the veil and he has been working for
• 11:48
  them for quite some time. And he's going to roll.
• 11:51
  Holy shit, what's your AC? 19 The AC that you put on my
• 11:59
  character sheet, is that including the AC boost from the
• 12:03
  bulletproof vest? Yes, that does all the math for
• 12:07
  you. That's your final.
• 12:08
  Oh, OK then 16919. OK, well, both of these guys hit
• 12:14
  you. Let's see what they do.
• 12:15
  He's like, OK, in that case. The one we got a 16, one we got
• 12:19
  a 15 but they all the clown has a + 5 for slashing.
• 12:24
  Damn. The other the other dude just
• 12:27
  had 15. That's fucking awful.
• 12:29
  You said the dude had your AC16 right?
• 12:32
  Yeah, 16. OK, so just the clown hits you.
• 12:35
  Actually, to do that, we're going to have the clown just bum
• 12:38
  rash you and he hits you with athletics check causing one
• 12:43
  point of damage. So he hit you and it hits you
• 12:46
  very hard. However, he does push you out of
• 12:49
  the way just a little bit. So now for that other guy to
• 12:53
  shoot you, he would have to shoot through the clown because
• 12:55
  the clown did hit you and move you.
• 12:58
  Now you're OK because. That's not doing anything.
• 13:01
  OK, I square up with the clown and activate Zeus's knuckle
• 13:06
  shuffles. Oh shit, explain to the class
• 13:10
  what Zeus's knuckle shuffle is? It's a pair of fingerless black
• 13:15
  motorcycle gloves with scorched lining and brass contacts at the
• 13:19
  wrist. When I tighten them down, my
• 13:24
  bioelectric current ignites yellow lightning across my fist,
• 13:28
  turning each punch to a stormy smack straight from Olympus.
• 13:33
  Jesus. Yes.
• 13:36
  Yes, and I have a request of you Game Warden.
• 13:44
  I would like to turn me activating these into an
• 13:48
  intimidation check by like me. Like hitting my fist together
• 13:52
  and then the marking together. But would that work for against
• 13:57
  the sideboard? There's a brain in there
• 13:59
  somewhere. Yeah, he was a live person at
• 14:02
  one point. Yeah, do that.
• 14:04
  But don't give me an intimidation check with
• 14:06
  Charisma, just give me just straight strength check with
• 14:09
  that, because that's impressive. Shit, finally a first good role
• 14:16
  of the day. We got a 23. 23 He is
• 14:21
  intimidated. He's actually taken aback by it.
• 14:25
  So actually when you go to hit him in the next turn, his AC has
• 14:29
  dropped by two because his guard is down.
• 14:31
  Uh oh. OK, it was me activating that my
• 14:36
  action or do I still have an action?
• 14:38
  No, that's you activating it. Also, you take one health point
• 14:41
  away, remember? Yeah.
• 14:43
  While taken aback, he still throws a punch, but I'm actually
• 14:46
  going to throw him at disadvantage due to being
• 14:48
  intimidated. And he he just kind of like,
• 14:51
  throws his hand up in the air and like, misses you.
• 14:53
  Like he's basically like, he's not even trying.
• 14:54
  He's just like. Are you saying that my ACT
• 15:00
  aroused him? Like quitting a.
• 15:03
  Little bit, a little bit. He's definitely got a clowner
• 15:06
  right now. My brother in Christ, what the
• 15:10
  fuck? You did this.
• 15:16
  Me the. Other guy going to.
• 15:17
  Go. It's your.
• 15:18
  It's your turn. Oh, I thought, I thought the
• 15:19
  other guy was going to. Go.
• 15:21
  Now he's stuck behind him. He can't really.
• 15:22
  I mean, you know, fuck it, let's have him send it.
• 15:25
  He's kind of an idiot. He can move.
• 15:27
  And you can't move past the clown or.
• 15:29
  He's like the foot. He just wastes his time.
• 15:32
  He's. Christ, he definitely he goes to
• 15:34
  shoot and that disadvantage, he pops the clown for three points
• 15:37
  of damage. Jeez.
• 15:39
  I love it. Now you're up.
• 15:41
  OK, I'll go ahead and punch the clown.
• 15:44
  Punch that clown. Yeah, punish the clown. 16.
• 15:50
  Yeah, get that Clissy 16 + 2 definitely hits.
• 15:55
  What's the damage? What do I roll for the Zeus
• 16:00
  knuckles? The Zeus knuckles just let you
• 16:04
  hit. You still use your melee
• 16:05
  attacks. OK, OK, OK.
• 16:09
  And for the record, I thought of the Zeus knuckle Shuffles name
• 16:12
  myself. I was very proud of that one.
• 16:14
  So proud of you. All right.
• 16:16
  So that's a four. OK, you go to hit him and you
• 16:20
  cause 2 points of damage. Two points.
• 16:23
  Okie, dokie, any electrical, any electrical damage on top of
• 16:27
  that? Oh, the electrical is why he's
• 16:29
  only taking two points of damage.
• 16:31
  He's run by the Veil. Look at all the cybernetics on
• 16:34
  him that I do. Yeah, but that means.
• 16:35
  That there's little there's little electrical bits in there
• 16:38
  that are sensitive. No, he's got capacitors that
• 16:41
  absorb it. That's why he only took two
• 16:42
  points of damage. OK.
• 16:46
  Sorry. I mean, don't call for backup or
• 16:49
  anything. Says the guy shoving pistols in
• 16:52
  walls and kicking him. I got this.
• 16:54
  Hey I I was shot out of nowhere. I deserve to defend myself.
• 16:59
  OK, all right, hold on. Let's see what the clown does
• 17:01
  next. He's not shook anymore.
• 17:03
  He swings and misses. But the other guy, he actually
• 17:06
  goes to escape. Oh, he makes it past the clown.
• 17:11
  Oh, no. But as soon as he makes it past
• 17:13
  the clown, as soon as he makes it past the clown, there's just
• 17:17
  a gunshot. You hear just and there's body
• 17:20
  drops back into the hallway, but you don't see what shot him.
• 17:24
  That is not good. I would say it's not good as
• 17:28
  well. It's your turn though.
• 17:30
  OK, I'm. Going to go ahead and punch
• 17:33
  again. Hit him 12. 12 does not hit.
• 17:38
  OK. You're swinging a miss, buddy.
• 17:42
  The clown goes to hit you. Oh, and the clown also misses,
• 17:48
  however. What happened?
• 17:49
  Just dancing. Dude this is like a scene from
• 17:52
  like a like a fighting anime where like the characters are
• 17:55
  swinging like haymakers but they're all like pairing and
• 17:58
  blocking every hit. Oh no.
• 18:01
  But in real time, not like, you know, speed of light.
• 18:04
  Hey, you don't know that. You don't know that so.
• 18:08
  Fuck I just rolled 2 gnat ones for this guy.
• 18:10
  So whatever killed that dude goes to step across him to make
• 18:14
  a really cool entrance, but then just trips over the body just
• 18:18
  and he just falls, but he gets right back up the fucking Chuck
• 18:22
  Norris. We're off.
• 18:25
  I'm going to run out of this building because apparently we
• 18:27
  just pissed off the raw man. It is Chuck Norris.
• 18:31
  A striking resemblance, yes, but this man is 6 to 245 lbs, born
• 18:38
  and raised in the hills of Tennessee and recruited by the
• 18:43
  veil for his size. This is Reacher.
• 18:49
  Sorry, this is Breaker, not Reacher.
• 18:52
  About to say it like I was like Jack Reacher.
• 18:55
  Isn't that your heart? This guy would eat Jack Reacher.
• 18:57
  This is Breaker is what the veil calls him and he he trips over.
• 19:02
  Bet he would with that mustache. And he gets back up.
• 19:05
  It's he's got a full beard, man. He's it's a full beard.
• 19:09
  He's all that is man. I have a feeling you you created
• 19:12
  this guy to give me my fucking fistfight that I've been
• 19:16
  craving. I, I did and so this, so this
• 19:20
  dude, as he gets back up, he gets up and he grabs the clown
• 19:24
  by the shoulder to like help lift himself up, but he squeezes
• 19:27
  the clown's shoulder so tight, one of the cybernetics just
• 19:31
  crushes and starts sparking on the clown.
• 19:33
  So now the clown's AC is reduced by 4 because it has no use of an
• 19:37
  arm. That's Chuck Norris.
• 19:40
  Can I try to kick in this wall right here and try to shoot
• 19:42
  through it? No, Let me have my moment.
• 19:45
  Let me have my moment. OK, OK.
• 19:47
  Go on, go on. OK, Mather.
• 19:50
  Yeah, totally you. I'm so excited, I don't know
• 19:54
  what to do. You got a clown fucking freaking
• 19:58
  out. You have a clown that is
• 20:00
  functioning poorly around you, just like twitching and
• 20:03
  sparking, and there's a dude standing behind him that has
• 20:05
  like this menacingly creepy happy smile just staring over
• 20:10
  this clown at you. It's like he doesn't even see
• 20:12
  the clown, he just sees you, his prey.
• 20:16
  So the the clown is between us, right?
• 20:19
  His pants are getting Tiger by the minute.
• 20:21
  Yes, he he is also getting a clown here. 3 clowners in this
• 20:27
  hallway. I repeat, there's three clowners
• 20:29
  do not approach. Wait, where'd yours come from?
• 20:32
  Oh. That sounds so the clown is the
• 20:37
  clown is between us. I'm gonna like push the clown
• 20:43
  aside, like off to the ground. Like you know, like when there's
• 20:46
  like the 2 girls fighting over the one guy and like the ROM com
• 20:49
  and the one the guy pushes the one girl or like oh over and she
• 20:52
  falls over as he goes for his true love.
• 20:54
  It's going to be like that. All right, I'll get out of my
• 20:58
  way. That is definitely going to be
• 21:02
  an acrobatics check you. Got the back flip over that
• 21:05
  clown. That's going to be your deck
• 21:08
  1616. It works.
• 21:11
  This clown gets pushed aside and he just goes to the side and now
• 21:17
  you're face to face. Are you jumping into his arms?
• 21:19
  What are you doing? Now we're fucking squaring up,
• 21:22
  dude. You're squaring up fisticuffs,
• 21:25
  OK? Is this one that thing you sent
• 21:27
  me earlier comes in? It is.
• 21:29
  So this man is just standing there and he's like.
• 21:33
  Oh, I've been waiting to break Someone Like You.
• 21:38
  Don't disappoint me. Come along, little Badger.
• 21:44
  And then he just starts walking away, just stomping down the
• 21:48
  hallway. And then he goes out into this
• 21:50
  main room here and he jumps over these ropes, which you didn't
• 21:54
  notice before. Are you following this guy?
• 21:56
  Yeah, of course. Okay, I I have made my way
• 21:59
  through all of these little compartments just I'm talking,
• 22:02
  I'm talking lost in here and I make my way out and I go, why
• 22:04
  does this look like a boxing or wrestling ring?
• 22:07
  That's when you all notice all of this military Pelican boxes
• 22:12
  and like rope that's just been like laid around that, you know,
• 22:15
  in the military, you know, we have it in connex boxes and
• 22:17
  packed away is all brought out and it looks like a makeshift
• 22:20
  boxing ring. And this man jumps in the center
• 22:23
  and when he jumps in the center, it shakes it a little bit.
• 22:26
  And that's when we all notice Pretty Kitty like a conscious in
• 22:29
  the middle of this ring. Oh my God, do I have to save
• 22:33
  Pretty Kitty? Is he going to start wailing on
• 22:39
  his unconscious body? Pretty Kitty, are you still
• 22:42
  eating or are you back yet? I'm good.
• 22:45
  OK, Pretty Kitty is starting to stir Baby Bird and Hazy, what
• 22:52
  are you doing? I mean I got a front row view
• 22:55
  since you know the beginning. OK, so.
• 22:59
  So I'm, I want to, I guess I'm going to sit over here and, you
• 23:01
  know, sit down on one of these containers, see what?
• 23:03
  You, you hop over here and then this other guard that's right
• 23:06
  next to you, he hops up in the box next to you just to see
• 23:08
  what's going on. He offers you a cigarette.
• 23:12
  Paper bird, what are you doing? I see pretty Kitty, I look
• 23:16
  pretty Kitty, and then I run into the center of the ring.
• 23:21
  I hold up a hand and I go. I got this.
• 23:24
  Does that stop you pretty kit or does that stop you baby bird?
• 23:28
  That stops me. That that stops me.
• 23:31
  Much that stuff. Because Chuck Norris looks kind
• 23:33
  of scary right now. All right, you're like, wait a
• 23:37
  minute. All right, I guess sit down over
• 23:40
  here. I guess so.
• 23:43
  The Chuck Norris look alike breaker sees me and he's like.
• 23:48
  Oh God, is this your new group of girlfriends?
• 23:53
  And I'm like, homophobia is very 2015, my friend.
• 23:57
  Get over yourself. And he's like.
• 23:59
  Yeah, you're going to enjoy the show looking at my sweet ass.
• 24:03
  And I'm like, what? What did you say to me?
• 24:05
  Hold on. No, wait, stop the fight.
• 24:07
  What? What did he say to me?
• 24:09
  And he just turns around and he's like.
• 24:11
  Looks like one of your animals wandered off.
• 24:13
  Is this what you came for? And I look into the ring and I
• 24:17
  see Pretty Kitty is like he's beaten and bruised and he barely
• 24:21
  looks like he's holding on the life.
• 24:22
  And I'm like. And I breathe a sigh of relief
• 24:24
  and I'm like, oh, thank God they haven't done anything to him.
• 24:26
  Now I'm like, OK, yeah, pretty kitty's fine, everyone.
• 24:30
  We should. We should just leave.
• 24:32
  Yeah, let's go. Let's get out of here.
• 24:34
  And then the guy's like. No, no one's going anywhere.
• 24:39
  And he takes Pretty Kitty and he throws him out of the ring over
• 24:43
  here where you see a clown clone is over there and he catches
• 24:49
  them. ACCA clown clone.
• 24:54
  A clown clone and then another clown clone pops up when a
• 24:57
  dismantle clown comes over here and he sits down and he's
• 25:00
  watching too. And then one more clown clone
• 25:03
  comes out. They are now cloning the
• 25:06
  monsters. What?
• 25:09
  I'm going to start taking bets by the way anybody wants to.
• 25:13
  Go for it. The one guard that was sitting
• 25:16
  next to you, Hazy goes. Hey, have you seen my friend
• 25:17
  Tom? He was taking a shit earlier.
• 25:19
  He hasn't come back yet, but. Nah, I don't know who you're
• 25:24
  talking about bro. All right, Breaker says.
• 25:27
  Everyone shut the fuck up. And he points to Thadi.
• 25:32
  He was like. If you want your friend back,
• 25:35
  you'll have to face me. No weapons, no excuses, Thadi.
• 25:41
  Just you and me, mano E mano. I go that guy says he has mano.
• 25:51
  Without saying a word, I hop the rope into the into the ring and
• 25:57
  go to my respective corner. All right thought he's in the
• 26:02
  ring is at his corner over here. Breaker goes over here.
• 26:07
  Breaker's a big fucking dude, man like thought of your big,
• 26:10
  but this dude is big big like he's big back fucking size.
• 26:15
  All right, so for the listeners the rules of the game are this.
• 26:19
  And for the record I didn't come up with this.
• 26:20
  Definitely got this off of the tick of talk for Pathfinder to
• 26:25
  mini games. Fist fighting.
• 26:26
  Not every battle ends with a blade.
• 26:27
  In certain corners of the world, in stinking Taverns, basements,
• 26:31
  dusty arenas, or Area 52, the fist reigns supreme.
• 26:35
  This mini game allows you to run a quick and entertaining fist
• 26:38
  fight in the style of a tournament duel or Tavern brawl
• 26:40
  without bogging down the session.
• 26:42
  The general rules fist fights are played in rounds, much like
• 26:46
  regular combat with simplified rules, two participants or more.
• 26:50
  The drawback is each turn a participant has to take one
• 26:53
  fighting action. The objective knockout your
• 26:55
  opponent, earn a certain number of style points or survive a set
• 26:59
  number of rounds. This one you guys are playing
• 27:01
  for keeps. Whoever walks out of here can
• 27:04
  leave, so thoughty don't fuck this up.
• 27:08
  Stamina points it's 5 plus your constitution modifier plus your
• 27:12
  proficiency in athletics or acrobatics.
• 27:15
  Which what is that for you thoughty?
• 27:18
  Hold on, I'm I'm doing the math. Can I just like sneak attack
• 27:24
  this guy and just shoot him in the head?
• 27:29
  That wouldn't be fair. It'd be like Indiana Jones
• 27:32
  style, man. Like, you know, I'm not trying
• 27:34
  to sort of fight anymore. Oh.
• 27:37
  What's your strength, Toddy? 4.
• 27:40
  All right, so, Toddy, you're starting off with 12 stamina
• 27:42
  points. He's starting off with 15.
• 27:46
  Oh no. All right, so to continue moving
• 27:48
  this along, there are 12345 moves you can do.
• 27:54
  You can do a straight punch, a dodge, a grapple, A faint or a
• 27:57
  style move, a critical hit which is a natural 20 on an attack
• 28:01
  will is gives extra damage die and you use the higher dice.
• 28:07
  OK. So the damage is going to be a
• 28:09
  1D4 for everything. So go ahead and roll AD20C.
• 28:14
  Who goes first? 14.
• 28:17
  You're going to go first. He got a 5.
• 28:19
  Okie, Dokie. He's letting you go first.
• 28:25
  OK. He's a sporting fellow.
• 28:29
  Yeah. All right, I'm going to go ahead
• 28:31
  and grapple. All right. 12.
• 28:36
  Doesn't do anything OK. Our sweaty bodies slide off each
• 28:40
  other as we approach. All right, sure.
• 28:45
  As that happens, he does his move.
• 28:47
  He looks at the crowd, He raises his arms up to get the clowns
• 28:50
  going. You just hear a bunch of from
• 28:52
  the crowd hyping up. So he got one stylized point
• 28:57
  there. Dumb.
• 28:59
  Was that his turn? Yeah, that's it.
• 29:03
  OK, I'm going to try a straight punch.
• 29:09
  OK, give me a roll. 19. Nice. 19 hits give me AD 4
• 29:15
  damage. Four baby. 4 Jeez, all right,
• 29:21
  you take him down to 11. Anybody cheering on our friend
• 29:24
  here? I'm still taking bets as we go.
• 29:27
  So he's going to do a faint? What's your AC again?
• 29:32
  16. All right, so the faint works,
• 29:35
  he goes, the faint you, you are a little off put by that one.
• 29:39
  So your next one's going to be a.
• 29:41
  It says for the on success you gained advantage on your next
• 29:44
  attack by the end of the round. I'm not really sure what that
• 29:47
  does per SE. I think that means that his his
• 29:51
  next if his next turn is an attack, he rolls of advantage.
• 29:58
  Oh, that makes sense. OK, I'm going to go ahead and
• 30:03
  dodge. OK.
• 30:05
  So yeah, I mean that means my I get a + 2 AC if he attacks on
• 30:09
  the next turn. Yep.
• 30:11
  Oh, doesn't matter though. What?
• 30:13
  The fuck did he roll? Now with a net 20.
• 30:16
  Oh God damn it. Which means he gets to roll 2
• 30:19
  dice and he gets to pick whichever one's higher.
• 30:22
  Oh. Cool, take five points of
• 30:24
  damage. OK, so that drops me down to 1
• 30:29
  SEC one SEC. 7. I need to open up a a notepad so
• 30:33
  I can keep track. Don't let him have his way with
• 30:37
  you, OK? Look at the size of that
• 30:42
  clowner. Why this is going on?
• 30:47
  I come over here and I, I whispered a baby bird a little
• 30:50
  bit. Sweet nothings.
• 30:59
  Man, I was hoping you're going to drop some knowledge there.
• 31:02
  I'm going to go ahead and try to grapple again.
• 31:05
  Go for it. 15. Nope, fails.
• 31:11
  Damn. Wow all.
• 31:12
  Right, all right, he dodges. That also fails your turn.
• 31:17
  OK, straight punch, counter punch.
• 31:21
  That'll be 20. Dirty 20.
• 31:26
  A dirty 20 all right. Yeah, 3 for the damage all.
• 31:33
  Right. You're sending an 8 and 7 bud.
• 31:35
  Oh baby. OK, his turn, right?
• 31:37
  What a barn burner. It's his turn, he he dodges and
• 31:42
  yeah, it's a clean dodge so you it's going to be a + 2 to hit
• 31:46
  him on the next round. OK, I'm going to faint.
• 31:51
  OK, what is a just a just a RAW D20?
• 31:56
  Yeah. All right, that's a six.
• 32:00
  You got nothing. Oh, a 19?
• 32:03
  He looks at the crowd and he was like.
• 32:04
  Enjoying the carnage. This is violence done right.
• 32:10
  And he throws the bottle right at this one clown and hits right
• 32:12
  in the face and he goes and he falls over and that kind of gets
• 32:17
  the rest of those guys going. The guys, the guys just start
• 32:19
  stomping on the ground. And that raises his spirit.
• 32:22
  Oh, sadly, no. As it raises his spirit, he gets
• 32:25
  one stamina point added back to him.
• 32:28
  Dumb, he's. Up to 9 You better tell your
• 32:31
  fucking boys. Start hyping you up.
• 32:33
  Yeah, I know. Like that was awesome.
• 32:36
  Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and do a style move.
• 32:40
  Bet you won't do it. OK, what's what style move are
• 32:42
  you doing? I'm going to do an intimidation
• 32:47
  and I'll try and think of something snarky to say.
• 32:53
  I'm going to call him a little bitch.
• 32:56
  Oh mean. 19. That's what his dad called him.
• 33:02
  He starts crying. He does that.
• 33:06
  It is what his dad called him, but he doesn't cry.
• 33:08
  You do see tears form in the corners of his eyes and he's
• 33:11
  like little little. Bitch, what even is that?
• 33:15
  Like those words don't mean anything to him.
• 33:16
  Like he doesn't understand it. He's just like he looks at the
• 33:18
  clown. He's like I.
• 33:19
  Mean right? Nobody's buying this.
• 33:27
  Clearly in distress. His his next move, he he rolls
• 33:31
  intimidation. Oh it's a gnat 1 when he goes to
• 33:35
  intimidate you, one tear streams down his face and he's like.
• 33:38
  Stop. Stop looking at me.
• 33:42
  I want to yell. This motherfucker's crying.
• 33:44
  This. Is getting sad.
• 33:50
  Everybody point and laugh. Everybody point and laugh.
• 33:52
  Just. Like due to due to the
• 33:56
  bolstering of your team and the tearing down of him, he loses
• 33:59
  that one stamina point and you get 1 stamina point back thought
• 34:02
  he. Better.
• 34:03
  Nice. I've never felt taller.
• 34:06
  You're both. You're both at a even 8.
• 34:09
  What? Go ahead.
• 34:11
  Oh, it's his turn. Oh, he goes to grapple you.
• 34:15
  He misses you guys. He's he's too worked up.
• 34:18
  You're sweaty, so it's hard to grab him.
• 34:20
  And he's cheerful, so it's hard to crap himself.
• 34:23
  Your turn. All right, I'm going to go ahead
• 34:25
  and do a straight punch and I'm going to get oh wow, dude, this,
• 34:30
  this fucking Google D 20s is a lot better than my physical D20.
• 34:35
  I'm going to get a dirty 20 again.
• 34:37
  Unless you use the one Hazy uses.
• 34:40
  Yeah, exactly. Nice.
• 34:41
  Give me some damage. Oh.
• 34:44
  Buddy. 4/4. You.
• 34:49
  Clock him across the jaw so hard tears from both his eyes fling
• 34:53
  out and hit a clown on him. They hit a clown.
• 34:56
  And when he hits the clown, the clown turns.
• 34:58
  He looks at the rest of us and looks like that one sad clown
• 35:00
  picture. We're all like, that's weird.
• 35:03
  And the dude stumbles when one knee touches the ground for a
• 35:06
  second and he stands back up and he shakes it off.
• 35:08
  There's no more tears now. Now there's just unbridled
• 35:12
  Appalachian hasn't seen a woman in six months.
• 35:15
  Rage and his pants are looking tighter.
• 35:20
  We got to get out of here. Hey, I'm Appalachian too man.
• 35:23
  He can. He can get this smoke.
• 35:26
  All right, he's going to dodge. Oh, he fails to dodge.
• 35:29
  Go ahead all. Right, I'm going to faint.
• 35:32
  OK. So what is it now?
• 35:35
  Fuck man dude I love these Google dice 18 so you're going?
• 35:39
  To get advantage on this one, when he rolls, oh he's going to
• 35:43
  punch, so wait, he has to roll a disadvantage for this?
• 35:47
  No, I my my attacks are at advantage.
• 35:51
  It doesn't affect him. Oh, OK.
• 35:55
  Oh, he hit you with a dirty 20 and that's four points of
• 35:58
  damage. You're both at 4 now.
• 36:01
  I thought he was at 3. Finish you.
• 36:05
  No, he dropped down to 4. Well, wasn't he at 7:00 and then
• 36:08
  I did 4 points of damage? No, he was at 8 because he was
• 36:12
  at 8. He got the one point of damage
• 36:13
  from OR He got up 1 back to 9 because his boys were helping
• 36:16
  him out. But then we took that point, he
• 36:18
  was back down to 8 and then you dropped him to 4.
• 36:21
  Oh, OK, OK, OK. Yeah, All right.
• 36:23
  So. We're across the board.
• 36:24
  OK, cool. All right.
• 36:27
  I'm going to go in a straight punch and so I have a Vantage.
• 36:30
  Send it. Dirty 23.
• 36:34
  All right, that definitely hits give me damage. 3.
• 36:37
  Three, he is down to one point. He he hits the ground for a
• 36:42
  little bit face against it and he looks out and for a moment
• 36:45
  the weird fucked up clown face looks like his dad back in the
• 36:49
  mountains and he's like, ain't no son of mine's assistant.
• 36:52
  You better get up there, boy. And he's like I'm.
• 36:54
  Trying to. He's a giant 6 foot two man, but
• 36:59
  inside he's just a scared little boy trying to make his dad
• 37:02
  proud. So.
• 37:03
  Aren't we all? I don't know about 6 man.
• 37:09
  Yeah, he turns on his barbarian rage and he gets a + 2 to
• 37:17
  everything for the next 3 rounds.
• 37:19
  Oh shit. We got to get out of here.
• 37:25
  He's going to go for a faint. He said he's going to faint.
• 37:28
  Oh, it's a three. Yeah, it failed your turn.
• 37:31
  All right, straight punch. Does he still have one stamina?
• 37:36
  Come on babe, he's got one stamina left. 13.
• 37:41
  You hit him right in the chest, but he is just so full of rage
• 37:44
  he doesn't even feel it. Oh.
• 37:47
  Shit easy, that easy that we got it.
• 37:49
  Oh no, he's going to go. Oh fuck.
• 37:52
  What was it? What's up Hazy?
• 37:55
  What's diamond Dallas Pages? Was it the stone cutter?
• 37:58
  No, it was a diamond cutter. Oh, yeah, He's going to do the
• 38:01
  Diamond Cutter on you. That's his.
• 38:04
  That's a special move he's going to do.
• 38:05
  He's not working the crowd anymore.
• 38:06
  He's just doing some wrestling crazy shit.
• 38:09
  Oh my God. And he hit a 25.
• 38:12
  Oh. Please no.
• 38:15
  And he does one point of damage. Oh, sweet Jesus.
• 38:20
  Because it looks, it looks cool. It's a really cool.
• 38:23
  It's really cool. It's still a wrestling.
• 38:26
  But I want to hype him up at this moment and be like.
• 38:28
  Oh. Because you know, it look cool,
• 38:30
  so. Fucking traitor.
• 38:33
  Wait, you hyped up the bad guy? It's.
• 38:35
  A good fight, it's a good fight I'm.
• 38:40
  Going to go ahead and do straight punch again, 15 hits.
• 38:44
  Him in the chest and nothing. Damn, he's going to grapple you
• 38:47
  again. That does nothing.
• 38:51
  He fails all. Right, I'm going to faint.
• 38:57
  All right. Oh, not 20, baby.
• 39:00
  He goes to grapple you again and misses, but with that Nat 20 or
• 39:06
  you got a Nat 20 so you're going to punch this time.
• 39:09
  Yes, Sir. You don't even need to roll.
• 39:12
  You hit this dude, but you hit him so damn hard that you hear
• 39:19
  bones crack in this dude's face and he just spins around.
• 39:25
  You hit him like Brad Pitt and snatch at the very end and just.
• 39:28
  Oh fuck yeah, his. Face obliterates and blood just
• 39:32
  splatters these two clowns. This one guard, but most of the
• 39:34
  blood oddly enough gets on baby Bird who's down here for some
• 39:38
  reason just trying to sneak around and this guy just goes
• 39:42
  down. I Yelp out with all the blood.
• 39:50
  I turn around and do like I turn around and do like the arms like
• 39:55
  out with the palms up, like, you know, like the are you not
• 39:58
  entertain type thing, But I don't say anything.
• 39:59
  I just turn around and do it and I like beg for cheers like a
• 40:02
  little the little E whore I am. I I cheer.
• 40:08
  I I raised my arms up with my excitement accent.
• 40:12
  Oh, go ahead, go ahead. No, I'm I'm going to act like I
• 40:14
  didn't lose money on this and shoot this guard next to me.
• 40:19
  That's not that. Against me.
• 40:24
  Go go ahead and shoot him, Hazy. Let's do it.
• 40:28
  Are we not going to cover him betting against me?
• 40:32
  What? What am I rolling?
• 40:34
  The guy looked like Chuck Norris.
• 40:35
  I don't know what to tell you. You're you're shooting.
• 40:37
  It's whatever you roll to shoot to your decks.
• 40:40
  For the record, I'm collecting my money from him because I
• 40:42
  fucking wasn't hazy he's about to shoot him. 13.
• 40:47
  Oh that, that hits give me damage.
• 40:50
  Is it D8 or G6? It's D8, you're doing both
• 40:54
  pistols and it's surprise, so we're going to double whatever
• 40:57
  damage you fucking put to him. Fucking 7.
• 41:00
  Let's roll. This dude is dead, you just
• 41:03
  remember that. And like blood flies everywhere
• 41:06
  on the money he's handing me. I'm upset because he didn't
• 41:09
  finish counting so I only got some of my money.
• 41:12
  I feel better though. But when that happens, all the
• 41:15
  clowns look at you. This dude?
• 41:19
  Oh no, he dead. There he did.
• 41:21
  Yeah, all these, all this other clown or say these four clowns
• 41:26
  and the one guard that's left all draw weapons and are
• 41:29
  pointing them at us now. Thank you, Hazy.
• 41:32
  I ain't worried about them. I yell out.
• 41:35
  We had a fucking deal. The sounds of the gunshot
• 41:40
  startled me and I had my trigger in my hand and I accidentally
• 41:45
  squeezed it. Oh, I was going to give you a
• 41:47
  signal, but that works too. Thanks Hazy for setting it off.
• 41:50
  Go ahead and blow it, baby bird. Southern entrance explodes.
• 41:55
  The clown next to me also explodes in my fucking face
• 41:59
  because I didn't get away in time and I grabbed pretty Kitty
• 42:02
  with my eyes closed. I just yelled scramble while you
• 42:08
  guys were doing this. I talked to Baby Bird and I was
• 42:11
  like, hey, go ahead and just put C4 on one of the clowns and put
• 42:14
  it on a fucking exit in case this goes sideways on us,
• 42:16
  because I somehow knew AC was going to get them to shoot at
• 42:19
  us. Let me go ahead and roll
• 42:21
  athletics to get across this ring.
• 42:24
  Oh A2, I just eat shit right on top of this guy you got.
• 42:29
  A whole chode in your forehead. Oh no, it's so big.
• 42:33
  It's just laying across my face so I can still feel it moving.
• 42:36
  I'm like, I want to go home. All the bloods rushing to that,
• 42:41
  that one area, I'm going to take the money and run.
• 42:44
  I'm going to try to do the same thing.
• 42:46
  I guess that's what athletic Chuck.
• 42:50
  We have to go north. Why are we going north?
• 42:53
  I thought you blew the South one.
• 42:55
  Yeah, South. Hazy Roll to take the money and
• 43:04
  just roll once, but you're going to roll it there.
• 43:06
  Roll twice. You're going to take the
• 43:07
  disadvantage to grab money and to jump the rope.
• 43:09
  It's AD 20. Yep.
• 43:13
  Well, I guess ain't no money getting taken 'cause I got a 5.
• 43:17
  OK, you go to grab the money, you also fucking flip over
• 43:21
  throwing the money into the air and so the money is kind of
• 43:24
  shrouding everything, thought he.
• 43:26
  You're literally on top of his face while I'm on top of his
• 43:29
  peen, thought he. What are you doing?
• 43:33
  I'm going to run to the South to try to cut this clown off from
• 43:38
  baby bird and pretty Kitty. The clown on the right on the
• 43:43
  East Coast or the West Coast? South.
• 43:47
  You're going over to the bigger clown S Sorry, you go over to
• 43:50
  that guy right there. So you're in the way of him.
• 43:53
  Are you attacking or you just jumping over the rope?
• 43:56
  Yeah, I'm just going to jump over the rope all.
• 43:58
  Right. Give me athletics. 12.
• 44:02
  Yeah, you make it over, baby bird.
• 44:04
  Pretty Kitty, What are you doing?
• 44:05
  Pretty Kitty? I know you haven't had a lot to
• 44:06
  do because you've been unconscious this whole time, but
• 44:08
  what are you doing? Baby bird, you go first, then
• 44:12
  I'll go for you. I drag him by his legs.
• 44:20
  Come with me if you want to give.
• 44:21
  Me an athletics check. All right.
• 44:24
  Here we go. 12 Wait, do I add that's a fit.
• 44:30
  No, that works fine. You dragged.
• 44:32
  OK, yeah, you had your strength to it.
• 44:34
  You drag Pretty Kitty all the way outside.
• 44:36
  Woof. He's totally fine.
• 44:37
  He's just laying there like, oh, he has no idea what's going on.
• 44:41
  He woke up next to a boxing ring and thought he'd beat the shit
• 44:44
  out of a Hagrid looking dude. I was awake here in that.
• 44:49
  I wasn't aware, sorry. Kind of.
• 44:52
  I mean, we weren't doing anything but watching him, all
• 44:55
  right, I I get up and there's blood everywhere.
• 44:57
  Sorry, there's not blood. There's tears everywhere from
• 44:59
  this big dude and I'm slipping and I fall on it trying to get
• 45:01
  out of the damn ring. Hazy you're up.
• 45:06
  I. Guess I'm doing another
• 45:08
  acrobatic right? Try to jump over the rope again.
• 45:10
  It's. Going to be athletics, you were
• 45:13
  doing acrobatic because you were doing a lot of things at.
• 45:15
  Once OK, so just I mean, I athletics still strength, right?
• 45:20
  Acrobatics is Dex strength. Is I don't know why I thought
• 45:23
  acrobatics was. Yeah, I got you all right.
• 45:27
  Oh, Either way, 17. Nice you get over here.
• 45:31
  Boop. Toddy, what are you doing?
• 45:36
  I'm going to shove the clown in front of me away to buy me some
• 45:42
  distance to escape. OK, you shove that one, clown.
• 45:46
  I think enough time has passed and these guys have felt like
• 45:49
  we're going to skirmish. The shove is successful.
• 45:52
  I mean, we're we're fast-paced here.
• 45:54
  He still has no idea what's going on.
• 45:56
  A lot of moving parts. These guys are now going to take
• 45:58
  aim at us and they're going to fire on all of us.
• 46:01
  The three that are still left here.
• 46:03
  So that is 123. That's guy's dead. 4-5 D 20s.
• 46:08
  Let's see what they roll, gentlemen.
• 46:09
  Oh. No.
• 46:11
  We got a four, two and nine and a 16 and A5.
• 46:15
  The 16 is this guy right here. He's going to shoot hazy.
• 46:19
  He's the only one that makes a shot off.
• 46:22
  Well, you have the most money and God knows clowns are greedy
• 46:24
  little fucks. He shoots you and one point of
• 46:29
  damage, so he just wings you, wink, and you're like, Oh no,
• 46:32
  you drop like $20 bills, damn it.
• 46:36
  All right, I'm going to try and get up and run again.
• 46:38
  Let's try that. Oh no, As I'm trying to get up,
• 46:42
  I just slip and I'm just like, oh, screw it.
• 46:44
  I just slowly crawl underneath the rope and I make it out
• 46:47
  barely. I'm still on the ground.
• 46:51
  I'm just like. Yeah, I I run S to pretty Kitty
• 47:00
  and baby bird all. Right, I thought he escapes.
• 47:03
  Go ahead and roll for disengagement.
• 47:05
  That's just going to be a flat DDC 10 roll. 3. 30 doesn't work.
• 47:15
  One of the clowns shoots at you and oh, he misses you and he
• 47:21
  hits hazy for one point of time. Son of A.
• 47:28
  Bitch I've been hit on AC like this whole time what the fuck?
• 47:35
  All right, I scramble. I'm disengaging.
• 47:37
  I'm trying to get out of here. Oh, 17, finally.
• 47:39
  Excuse me, I just like, hop over to Thadi's body.
• 47:42
  Push me into another bullet. Is that what you?
• 47:45
  Do I slide over you? Because for some reason I've got
• 47:49
  some really clear liquid just all over my body that's kind of
• 47:52
  salty. Don't know where it came from,
• 47:54
  but I'll hop over you and make it out.
• 47:56
  That's just tears. It's just tears.
• 48:00
  All right, All right, well, I was real close to that boner for
• 48:03
  a bit. Let's go ahead and roll the gear
• 48:04
  and see what they do. Oh, no, that guy doesn't hit.
• 48:09
  That guy's a 17. That guy hits.
• 48:11
  I didn't even get a turn. I just got shot a lot.
• 48:15
  Oh, that's right. You're right.
• 48:16
  Sorry. Go ahead, Hazy.
• 48:18
  It's your turn. I just got shot a lot.
• 48:21
  Fuck I rolled an 8. You said disengage is AD 10,
• 48:25
  right? He's rolled AD 20.
• 48:29
  OK, well I was 8. You're supposed you're supposed
• 48:32
  to get you roll AD 20 if it's above, but if it's a 10 or
• 48:35
  higher, you escape. You didn't escape, so now they
• 48:37
  shoot at you. One dude shoots at you.
• 48:39
  One dude shoots at thoughty. Thoughty you're going to take
• 48:43
  double damage because this dude got a net 20.
• 48:47
  Jesus Hazy, you take 6 points of damage.
• 48:49
  Dude, I'm about fucking dead. Thoughty you take two points of
• 48:53
  damage, thoughty you're up. You said how much did I take 6?
• 48:58
  That was double damage. Yeah, yeah, he rolled A1 and you
• 49:03
  got so you took 2. I'm at 2.
• 49:06
  Let's go. OK, you're.
• 49:10
  Supposed to be lucky. What the fuck?
• 49:11
  That's what I'm saying. What the fuck?
• 49:14
  I'm going to pick Hazy up by his collar and his his like the back
• 49:17
  of his pants and throw him down the hall.
• 49:19
  Help. Me Sir, help me.
• 49:22
  You know, just for the hero roll out advantage.
• 49:25
  I need a hero. Don't need to not 20.
• 49:29
  Yeah. Oh.
• 49:31
  Nice. Fuck yeah.
• 49:32
  You not only throw Hazy so hard, it's so perfectly that you
• 49:37
  somehow defied physics and threw yourself with him at the same
• 49:41
  time they put you flying down the pole The.
• 49:43
  Momentum of the whole throat. We we have Escapade, but we're
• 49:51
  all staying here at the entrance and it's just eerily quiet and
• 49:54
  we're like, that is weird. And then you hear from inside,
• 49:58
  you hear Breaker just going. This isn't over.
• 50:02
  I'll tear your little zoo apart piece by piece.
• 50:06
  And then you hear these weird animalistic clowns, Cyborg
• 50:09
  noises, and they just jump on Breaker and they just start
• 50:14
  eating him. And this one clown eats the
• 50:15
  other guard that's still alive, and they just start eating him
• 50:18
  and tearing him to pieces. And yeah, so Breaker's dead.
• 50:26
  You killed him. I say we delta the fuck out
• 50:29
  dude. Holy shit what the hell
• 50:31
  happened? Jesus, that's cool.
• 50:32
  We brought the man and the thoughty hog.
• 50:34
  So we're getting, I feel bad. We're pretty kidding because he
• 50:38
  couldn't really do anything this whole time.
• 50:40
  And then, like, when he finally woke up, we're like, oh, we're
• 50:41
  on a boxing match. Go ahead and just sit there on
• 50:43
  the sideline. But that's it.
• 50:47
  That's Area 52. Yeah.
• 50:49
  So we get in the toddy hog, we get in the van and we drive
• 50:51
  away. On the sunset, we still didn't
• 50:53
  find any of the cursed objects. Nobody.
• 50:56
  Nobody looked very hard. Oh, to be fair, you guys jumped.
• 51:01
  You guys really picked the absolute worst places to start.
• 51:04
  Everyone of you like I, I hid all those guys beforehand and
• 51:08
  you were just went straight for them.
• 51:09
  Nobody found. God damn into a fucking wall.
• 51:12
  Minding my own business before I even made move one.
• 51:18
  And had you not got shot, you would have found the meat
• 51:20
  clowns. Cursed object, Thadi all Thadi
• 51:25
  almost found the cursed object of the Philosopher's Stone from
• 51:30
  the Mongolian death worm. But they've escaped Area 52, so
• 51:33
  that's something to be proud of. Even though, you know, there was
• 51:36
  no worm here. They just dropped Pretty Kitty
• 51:38
  off here. It was a bait.
• 51:39
  They were trying to lure us into a trap, but a breaker.
• 51:44
  Good old boy from the South just really wanted some mano Y mano
• 51:46
  bullshit and cost him his life. That's what you get kids.
• 51:51
  You don't pick fights with strangers you're packing.
• 51:55
  No, don't. That's not the message I got.
• 51:58
  To send. Yeah, you also don't fucking
• 52:02
  keep clowns around, man. No, well, clowns are fine.
• 52:07
  Anyways, that's today's episode. Thanks everybody for.
• 52:13
  Coming mission complete, Target neutralized.