Latest / Three Damned Dudes / Episode 18 - Dont Yuck My Yum

Transcript

Episode 18 - Dont Yuck My Yum · Three Damned Dudes

• 0:12
  The Three Damn Dudes podcast is brought to you by Rifle and
• 0:15
  Ratchet Refinishing. Located in Taylor, MI Rifle and
• 0:18
  Ratchet is a veteran owned and operated shop providing Sarah
• 0:20
  coat and laser engraving services.
• 0:22
  Whether it's rust, corrosion, wear and tear, scratches, or you
• 0:26
  simply don't like the color, they do everything from factory
• 0:29
  finishes to custom camo. Their goal is to make your dream
• 0:32
  a reality to shoot. But it's not just firearms, it's
• 0:34
  also automotive parts, game controllers, golf clubs, really
• 0:37
  anything you can fit in the oven.
• 0:39
  Their goal is to make you say wow when it comes out of the
• 0:41
  case. Boys and girls, welcome to
• 0:45
  episode 18 of this colossal clusterfuck that we call the
• 0:51
  Three Damn Dudes podcast. We're happy that you're here.
• 0:55
  I think maybe, but yeah, we're going to fucking do this thing.
• 1:01
  So thanks for thanks for listening.
• 1:04
  I appreciate you guys leaving episode 17 on four listens all
• 1:10
  goddamn weekend making me think we got fucking shadow banned on
• 1:13
  Spotify, which may still be the case, but neither here nor
• 1:19
  there. We are up to 8 listens now.
• 1:22
  So I saw that. I did see that.
• 1:27
  Our listeners. We're doing it, boys.
• 1:35
  We're fucking doing this thing, Yeah.
• 1:41
  I mean, it was bound to happen and we already made it way
• 1:44
  further than most most nobody podcasts normally fucking do.
• 1:48
  Yeah, it was a good run, yeah. So welcome to the last episode
• 1:54
  of the Three Damn. I think that's kind of a skewed
• 1:59
  metric because is that just people giving up before it takes
• 2:03
  off because we we never took off?
• 2:06
  That's the thing, it's true. Yeah, you're right.
• 2:11
  I guess we'll keep doing this until we actually take off, and
• 2:13
  then we'll quit. You got to take off the land.
• 2:17
  Or to crash and burn. Yeah, that's true.
• 2:23
  Yeah, we'll take off someday. I doubt it, but maybe.
• 2:27
  All right, We. I don't know who.
• 2:31
  Did someone sacrifice a virgin this morning?
• 2:34
  Or the last couple weeks, cuz this is a third week in a row
• 2:38
  where we've had all three of the three damn dudes.
• 2:40
  I think this is the longest stretch of all of us on the show
• 2:43
  that we've had since the beginning.
• 2:49
  That's true, yeah. Look at us go boys, we're
• 2:53
  getting our stride just as everybody stops listening.
• 2:58
  Just in time for us to give up on the dream.
• 3:01
  Exactly. Fuck it, I'm still having fun
• 3:05
  with this thing because right at the end of the day, this was
• 3:09
  never supposed to pay the bills. This is this is the weekly
• 3:12
  reminder to stay in touch with the boys and treat yourself with
• 3:17
  some bourbon or whiskey or maybe a coffee or a tea if you don't
• 3:21
  drink anymore. And I respect that most of the
• 3:23
  time. So I mean, as long as we keep
• 3:28
  doing that right, I'll keep doing this until this shit ass
• 3:33
  podcast box breaks and I just said I'm not spending money on a
• 3:36
  new one. Or until it gets hacked by your
• 3:39
  Hispanic neighbors. Well, now that I automatically
• 3:46
  connect to it and I don't think that they can, I don't think my
• 3:50
  podcaster can get DP D so I think I'm I think it's safe.
• 3:56
  It took 18 fucking episodes. I'm not to hear Telemundo in
• 4:02
  Jimmy's box. What what pisses me off too is
• 4:05
  like you guys are supposed to be pretty smart and I was
• 4:11
  explaining to you what was happening and, and you straight
• 4:14
  face looked at me and you're like, it doesn't have Bluetooth.
• 4:18
  It's connected to your computer. I'm like my Bluetooth on my
• 4:21
  computer's turned off. It's still your computer, only
• 4:26
  for us to find out that it did have Bluetooth the entire time.
• 4:30
  I don't know that we found. I don't.
• 4:31
  Think that's us that found that out?
• 4:34
  I think that was you it. Was Mike because he found it on
• 4:37
  his thing first. He was like I can, I can connect
• 4:41
  the. F He knew, we knew.
• 4:44
  Yeah, that was that was the the soft let down into the gaslight
• 4:47
  that's been going on for like 2 months.
• 4:49
  Don't you dare claim to have known the whole time and this
• 4:52
  has been a fit. You guys don't.
• 4:54
  You're not getting out of this. And then I double gaslight you
• 4:58
  when I made you think that we all figured it out at once, No.
• 5:01
  No. So here's the thing.
• 5:03
  When you bought it, did you not like read anything about it?
• 5:08
  Because that was one of the first things I know this where
• 5:10
  it was like, oh, this is Bluetooth.
• 5:12
  I bought it because Mike said it was good.
• 5:16
  That's why I bought. I mean, it's gotten us this far.
• 5:18
  It is it's, it's not, it's not awful.
• 5:22
  That's not what you said for the last 7 episodes.
• 5:24
  Well. That's because it's awful.
• 5:26
  It's just not fucking. I'm just saying, fucking hell.
• 5:34
  Like I don't know about you guys, but my mic cuts in and out
• 5:37
  because the hardware part of it is poop.
• 5:42
  Damn, that's all. Right.
• 5:43
  We can definitely upgrade like the mic itself and run the rest
• 5:47
  of the equipment that we have, but that's a later as problem.
• 5:49
  Yeah, hey. Luke.
• 5:52
  Yeah, when we have, we hit up our sponsors again for new
• 5:58
  equipment. Yeah, and also I didn't realize
• 6:02
  we were as popular all over the place as we are, but.
• 6:07
  Good morning. Vietnam, that's for 11% of our
• 6:13
  listeners. We're probably just VPN ING
• 6:16
  through Vietnam. So they're hiding where they're
• 6:18
  from well. If you think and.
• 6:19
  I don't know any languages that are spoken over there so I can't
• 6:22
  be an asshole. Whatever.
• 6:24
  Good morning Vietnam. Good morning Vietnam based VPNs.
• 6:28
  Probably love you. Vietnam Jimmy loves you.
• 6:37
  OK, let's let's get into this thing.
• 6:40
  We've had our our obligated 6 minutes of bullshitting on the
• 6:43
  front end. What are we drinking tonight,
• 6:46
  boy? I'm back to drinking Miller Lite
• 6:53
  because doing this sober last week sucked.
• 7:02
  Oh shit. It's fine, allocated my calories
• 7:06
  for it. That you know, that's what
• 7:08
  matters. You work out so you can drink.
• 7:11
  Exactly. We've got Michelob Ultra, it's
• 7:16
  2.6 carbs, 95 calories. Is butter a carb?
• 7:24
  This tastes like butter. It's.
• 7:27
  Not great. I don't think it's supposed to
• 7:28
  taste like. That I don't.
• 7:30
  No, it's not. Great, I hate that you just did
• 7:37
  that. No.
• 7:42
  What? The ladies love it.
• 7:44
  Keep doing it and I'll ask you about the one or the the
• 7:46
  whatever fuck role. I'll ask you about the
• 7:52
  jellyfish. I'm not talking about it anyway.
• 7:57
  Oh fuck, I needed to go on my recap.
• 7:59
  Fucking swimming around in an aquarium.
• 8:03
  There we go. All right, it's in the recap and
• 8:05
  I need to find where I pulled that news article out because I
• 8:08
  want to be able to talk about it with real words and not just
• 8:11
  sound like a fucking idiot. Oh.
• 8:14
  Man, you gotta do that anyways. I mean, right, That's that's a
• 8:18
  given. OK, let's get into these fucking
• 8:22
  recaps. Does anybody want to go?
• 8:24
  What are you drinking? It's in my recap but OK fine.
• 8:30
  Hi I'm. Sorry that we were doing the bit
• 8:32
  that we've always done. Yeah, you know, and I skipped
• 8:35
  myself quite a bit on that bit because I forget that I'm
• 8:38
  actually a part of this and not just saying words into a
• 8:40
  microphone that we post on the Internet.
• 8:44
  So good catch. Thanks for that.
• 8:47
  I am still drinking hookers still.
• 8:53
  Still, are you going to be drinking in next week?
• 8:57
  Maybe. We'll see.
• 9:00
  I mean, there's a chance. He's going to spit her, shit it
• 9:03
  out and drink it. Again, this is Round 2.
• 9:09
  Bookers. But you never heard of that
• 9:10
  before. All right, let's open the show.
• 9:14
  Right. Cheers, boys.
• 9:16
  Happy Tuesday. It was aged in a skin casque.
• 9:29
  Keep it in your foreskin. It's kind of like A5 skin, the
• 9:34
  dot kind of fucked it up. Feel like that was burning?
• 9:42
  But Jesus Christ, all right, let's get into these recaps so
• 9:44
  we can't derail this fucking early, OK?
• 9:49
  The playset that I've been bitching about for like 3 weeks
• 9:52
  now is finally complete. It's fucking done.
• 9:59
  I had to go get another pallet of fucking mulch from Sam's Club
• 10:03
  to finish the playset. So a 9 by 8 1/2 yard area, which
• 10:09
  I'm sure somebody who can do math out there is like, oh you
• 10:12
  fucking idiot, fuck you all right, 100 bags of 50 pound, 150
• 10:22
  LB bags of rubber mulp. So now my fucking front yard
• 10:28
  smells like a MCMAP pit and it upsets me a little bit.
• 10:32
  And for those of you who don't know, MCMAP is the Marine Corps
• 10:35
  Martial Arts Program, and that's what they use.
• 10:38
  McDonald's. No, no.
• 10:41
  And unless it's a Mcgang bang, I don't want to talk about it.
• 10:47
  So yeah, that's where we where we do martial arts.
• 10:50
  That's the like the substrate that they have in a lot of the
• 10:53
  the areas that we do that shit. It's shredded tire mulch.
• 10:58
  So I still don't know how I feel about that.
• 11:04
  It upsets me. Just brings back fond memories,
• 11:07
  that's all. Fond memories of fucking up my
• 11:11
  IT band and starting a lifelong issue with hip dysplasia.
• 11:16
  Oh, it turns out if you go to the doctor and they tell you
• 11:19
  that you have hip dysplasia, an appropriate response is not.
• 11:24
  Does that mean you're going to take me back and to take me
• 11:26
  Outback and put me down like Old Yeller?
• 11:30
  They don't think that's as funny as the rest of us do.
• 11:32
  Turns out they have serious thoughts about putting you in
• 11:37
  the pillow room after that, even though it's a joke.
• 11:41
  That's funny because you mentioned that and I was like,
• 11:44
  yeah man, I guess it's time we gotta go and put you down now.
• 11:52
  OK, the trees got here. Finally they got here.
• 11:57
  I think last Thursday. I put 75 trees damn near 100,000
• 12:04
  wildflower seeds in like 5 distinct areas and 1500 Berry
• 12:10
  Bush seeds in my front yard. Well, in my front field, not the
• 12:15
  yard, it's all in the front field.
• 12:18
  So I've got white oak, sawtooth, oak and paw paws and then a shit
• 12:24
  ton of wildflowers and then strawberry Blues, strawberry,
• 12:29
  blueberry, Raspberry, Mulberry, cranberry and cherry bushes that
• 12:33
  hopefully will take and grow. So as far as all of the critters
• 12:39
  that live in the area, I should be covered for deer and Turkey
• 12:45
  and all of the important pollinator bugs and and critters
• 12:49
  that keep everything alive and healthy and probably also the
• 12:54
  bears. I was gonna say yeah.
• 12:59
  Yeah, I am happy to report to you guys that I did not shit my
• 13:04
  pants this week. Thank you, Thank you.
• 13:09
  I almost did, and I don't even remember the story.
• 13:12
  I just remember sweating, sitting in the driver's seat,
• 13:16
  taking a breath, and assessing the situation as to whether or
• 13:19
  not I could make it to the bathroom inside before I lost
• 13:23
  the fight. But I did not lose the fight, so
• 13:26
  I didn't have to throw away $70 pair of pants onto onto space
• 13:34
  Shit. So I was driving to work this
• 13:36
  morning and I saw a space jellyfish which immediately
• 13:41
  spiraled into other things, but I had no fucking clue what I was
• 13:44
  seeing in the sky. Turns out what I was seeing,
• 13:51
  which was absolutely fucking wild, was a rocket that launched
• 13:58
  from Cape Canaveral, FL. I don't know why I saw that from
• 14:02
  fucking Maryland, but I saw the SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket this
• 14:08
  morning on my drive to work and it freaked me out a little bit
• 14:12
  because because space is fake. But anyways, so I was happy to
• 14:22
  report something, and I'm sad to report something.
• 14:24
  Actually, to somethings. My son, my youngest child,
• 14:35
  turned a year old. Which means that I am now a year
• 14:42
  older. Which means that I basically
• 14:44
  fucking blinked and a year has gone by.
• 14:49
  That is horrific. You and your son share a
• 14:54
  birthday. Damn near.
• 14:57
  Are you talking clothes? Yeah, your birthday.
• 15:02
  Yeah, that's not the only thing that's coming.
• 15:06
  My birthday. Yeah, last thing for my recap.
• 15:15
  As of about 20 minutes ago, the Booker's is gone.
• 15:23
  It took however many fucking episodes that was to Polish off
• 15:28
  that bottle of Booker's. So if you are in any way
• 15:34
  affiliated to a company that sells whiskey and or a bourbon,
• 15:39
  hit us up because that shit's expensive and it makes for a
• 15:42
  better show. Please, at least for the love of
• 15:45
  God. Crack that bottle in like the
• 15:47
  first episode. No, it was, it was, it was a
• 15:51
  pretty good waste through because I don't remember what I
• 15:54
  started with, but I need somebody to go back and give me
• 15:57
  like take a tally of the bottles that I have and will end up
• 16:01
  killing throughout the course of the show.
• 16:04
  I think so far it's just been bookers.
• 16:07
  That no, that was just what I've been drinking recently because
• 16:10
  there was, there was this. The legs swingers that way,
• 16:19
  yeah. This was not a full bottle, but
• 16:23
  some Buffalo Trace and then this is my emergency rye.
• 16:29
  Oh. There was.
• 16:31
  The weird shit your buddy gave you that was in.
• 16:34
  The. Pharmacy.
• 16:35
  Oh yeah, bottles, right? The medicine.
• 16:38
  The medicine for the inside problems, Yeah.
• 16:43
  I'm not even sure that was the actual bourbon.
• 16:47
  It's kind of thick, salty, I don't know.
• 16:53
  But yeah, that's my recap, boys. Jimmy, what do you got?
• 17:01
  Well, I gotta go look at my note.
• 17:11
  So Maddie baked me a cake. I'm very excited about it.
• 17:15
  I get to eat it. Tomorrow, replace the cake you
• 17:19
  don't have have to replace the cake that you don't have.
• 17:25
  Yes, these idols. Are going to be on that cake I.
• 17:28
  Am not double caked up. There's going to be 34 candles
• 17:31
  on that cake. One more day and you outlive
• 17:36
  Jesus. Fuck you.
• 17:38
  Jesus. Oh yeah.
• 17:42
  Hold on, what? Have we got that for?
• 17:45
  Yeah, edit that out. No, but on that note, something
• 17:52
  that we talked about before the show started, when I logged in
• 17:56
  we had 666 streams and downloads.
• 18:00
  So that. Was a full circle moment.
• 18:03
  We're now at 687, but we were at 666.
• 18:09
  I'm really sorry for saying fuck you Jesus.
• 18:14
  That was an intrusive thought and I will be praying for
• 18:16
  forgiveness later. I we're.
• 18:20
  Going to have to make a public statement it's.
• 18:22
  That. No, I don't think we need to
• 18:25
  hold a. Fucking presser on Facebook Live
• 18:27
  where you apologize to all four of our listeners.
• 18:29
  You know what, Joe? Aurora is going to be very
• 18:31
  upset. Here's what I'm going to do.
• 18:34
  I'm going to set off some pyrotechnics and I'm going to
• 18:36
  Erica Kurt this shit and we'll be fine.
• 18:39
  I'll be good. I'll do a dance and stuff and
• 18:44
  you know. You know you can make it up to
• 18:47
  me. What?
• 18:49
  I need you to dress like Marilyn Monroe and sing me happy
• 18:52
  birthday. Happy birthday, Mr. President.
• 19:00
  We're definitely gonna. Clip that shit and throw it on
• 19:02
  our Facebook. Let's see.
• 19:07
  Anyway, so Maddie baked me a cake and it is an ice cream
• 19:11
  cookie cake it is. How do you bake?
• 19:14
  Ice cream, that was. My question.
• 19:17
  Thick chocolate chip cookies. Thick.
• 19:22
  Like we're talking 2 cookies. Each one of them is like an inch
• 19:28
  and a quarter thick. That's cute.
• 19:31
  With like an inch and a half thick of chocolate chip cookie
• 19:34
  dough ice cream in between. What's that put you at?
• 19:37
  4 1/2 inches of cake? Yeah, that's fucking massive.
• 19:41
  It's big, dude. It's big and it's.
• 19:44
  Also more like that. It's also big.
• 19:47
  Hang on, hang on. Yeah.
• 19:51
  Yeah, that checks. Yeah, that's fucking huge, Yeah.
• 19:56
  Checks huge. Yeah, I'm, I'm really excited.
• 20:02
  So she made the cookies from scratch.
• 20:04
  She didn't cheat. She didn't get the Nestle tall
• 20:06
  house stuff. It looks and smells amazing,
• 20:09
  Dude. I can't wait for for tomorrow so
• 20:12
  I can eat it gonna be really good.
• 20:18
  It's kind of all I have for like week weekly recaps, I think, but
• 20:29
  I know, so I'm working on something with Luke.
• 20:33
  I'm excited. So rifle and Ratchet
• 20:35
  refinishing. He's he's going to take my deer
• 20:41
  and he's going to engrave my deer into my 4:50 that he
• 20:45
  already made Hunter's orange. So I'm excited about that.
• 20:50
  And we're kind of I'm going to just drop a little teaser.
• 20:55
  We're going to be doing a giveaway in the future, several
• 20:58
  giveaways. We're working on stuff on the
• 21:02
  back end. You guys don't get to know what
• 21:04
  it is. I mean, Mike and Gavin get to
• 21:06
  know. They already know, but.
• 21:07
  I was about to you guys, I. Was like what you?
• 21:10
  Guys, the listeners don't get to know yet.
• 21:14
  You guys kind of seen a little peep of it at our at our
• 21:16
  Facebook, but we're going to be doing some giveaways pretty soon
• 21:21
  once we get once we get it finished and made-up.
• 21:25
  I'm excited about that. Thank you, Luke.
• 21:28
  But yeah, so more to come up than that.
• 21:31
  That's all I got for a weekly recap.
• 21:35
  Gavin, you got anything? Oh.
• 21:39
  Really it's been doing the same shit going to the gym still.
• 21:45
  How's that going? Yeah, man, it's going.
• 21:48
  Still doing the fucking diet thing, trying to maintain for a
• 21:52
  couple of weeks to get baseline and that still fucking sucks.
• 21:59
  But other than that, yeah, I don't fucking do anything.
• 22:04
  You know what? When you're I have something for
• 22:07
  you guys. I need your guy's help, OK?
• 22:13
  I don't know if you guys have been on Facebook but Maddie
• 22:17
  dropped a poll and I'm getting shit on right now by a bunch of
• 22:22
  women and I thought. You were into that kind of
• 22:27
  thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 22:28
  But so here's the situation, OK? Maddie's got these two fleece
• 22:35
  blankets. She loves them, and she doesn't
• 22:42
  like to share them at all. They're like her personal fleece
• 22:46
  blankets. Now, I can, I can use them if
• 22:49
  she's not here. But if she is here, I'm not
• 22:54
  allowed to use them. If she's not using them, I'm not
• 22:58
  allowed to use them. If she sees me laying on them,
• 23:02
  she wants them. If if she sees me using them,
• 23:07
  she wants them and she gets mad at me and makes me give them to
• 23:11
  her because they're hers. And then she says that she
• 23:14
  doesn't want to share them and she doesn't have to share them
• 23:17
  because they're hers. So she made a poll on Facebook
• 23:22
  asking who's in the right and who's in the wrong here and her
• 23:28
  poll says is it fine for me to not want to share my 2 comfort
• 23:33
  blankets with my partner or kids even if I'm not using them?
• 23:37
  I ask because Jimmy states I have trouble sharing my blankets
• 23:41
  and need to get better at it. And my response is always this.
• 23:44
  I sure literally everything else with all of you boys and I just
• 23:47
  want these to stay mine. Am I in the wrong?
• 23:50
  I told Jimmy I would do a pull over it.
• 23:52
  Let me know in the comments. So I got all these women in
• 23:57
  here, they're all Maddie's friends saying everybody
• 24:00
  deserves something personally that they don't want to share
• 24:03
  and that's fine, blah blah blah blah.
• 24:06
  And I jumped in and I said for a clearer picture, these are two
• 24:11
  fleece blankets. They're on her bed and she could
• 24:13
  totally not be using them. And the second I touched them,
• 24:15
  she wants them. I could be snuggling them or I
• 24:18
  could accidentally be laying on them and the outcome is the
• 24:20
  same. She sees it and makes me give
• 24:21
  them to her. And also she's completely fine
• 24:24
  with me using them if she's not there.
• 24:26
  So I've got a bunch of women in here going.
• 24:29
  I have stuff that are mine and mine alone.
• 24:32
  And I get super annoyed if people use them.
• 24:34
  And then there's another lady who's saying I have a few
• 24:36
  comfort items that are also mine and not share.
• 24:39
  And another woman is like, yes, you get to have something for
• 24:43
  yourself. It's small.
• 24:45
  It keeps you happier in a whole person, which makes you a better
• 24:48
  partner and parent. And then my dad isn't like, he's
• 24:50
  like, yeah, I just, I call it fair game.
• 24:52
  What do you guys? Think you're getting fucking
• 24:55
  dragged in the comments, I know holy shit.
• 24:59
  So what are your guys' thoughts? Hang on.
• 25:06
  I'm trying just OK? I'm me on Facebook.
• 25:07
  I'm not. I'm not us.
• 25:13
  Come in with the podcast and. Have I have my back?
• 25:17
  It's secretly me commenting with the.
• 25:19
  Podcast. She's.
• 25:22
  Totally in the right you're. All words on it.
• 25:23
  You're just being dumb at sign Joe Roar.
• 25:29
  I'm bringing the big gun. Oh fuck.
• 25:36
  I think Finder's keeper supplies what?
• 25:39
  Do you think Gavin? I I think it's one of those
• 25:42
  things that it's like if they like had similar value, weren't
• 25:47
  getting used at all and they were like just there as a memory
• 25:52
  of their keepsake, I would understand not want them fucked
• 25:56
  with. But like, if they're just there
• 26:02
  and not being used, like, but that's kind of story.
• 26:08
  So she does use them. They're not sentimental, she's
• 26:11
  not currently using them, and you wanted to use it like.
• 26:15
  Right. And, and like, I can't preface
• 26:18
  this enough, like she won't use, if I'm using them, it's because
• 26:21
  she's not using them. But then once she sees me using
• 26:25
  them, I'm no longer using them because they're hers.
• 26:28
  And then she's using them. And it doesn't matter if I'm
• 26:32
  accidentally using them or intentionally using them.
• 26:35
  They are comfy, you know? So like, I understand if it's
• 26:39
  yours, it's yours. Do I really think that she has
• 26:43
  to share? No, like they are her blankets.
• 26:47
  I could just go buy myself one if I wanted to, you know.
• 26:51
  However, if you're not using it and you see me using it and then
• 26:57
  all of a sudden you don't want me to have it, I just can't help
• 27:01
  but that's you're not very good at sharing.
• 27:04
  You didn't learn how to share as a kid like so older.
• 27:12
  Here's the other piece to this. Like, I understand not wanting,
• 27:16
  like, the kids mess with them because kids can, you know,
• 27:19
  sometimes ruin things and be gross and whatnot.
• 27:22
  So then my question is, Jimmy, what have you ruined in the past
• 27:25
  that she's like, yeah, no, I don't like trust you with these.
• 27:29
  Nothing. No, I, I don't I.
• 27:33
  I don't blame her one bit for not wanting to share them with
• 27:35
  the kids, I understand that. But we you know what's funny is
• 27:42
  she would not let me. I wanted to reply to each and
• 27:45
  every one of those comments, OK? And she told me not to and those
• 27:51
  people are never going to hear this podcast.
• 27:53
  So I'm just going to tell you what I was thinking with them
• 27:58
  Women, right? There's a lady in this comment
• 28:01
  section who said and it and it bothered me.
• 28:06
  This comment bothered me quite a bit.
• 28:09
  It says I have a few comfort items that are also mine and not
• 28:12
  to share. I have a few snacks and drinks.
• 28:14
  I feel the same that are mine and not to be touched under any
• 28:17
  circumstances. Everyone needs something or a
• 28:20
  few things to keep to themselves.
• 28:22
  It's hard enough not having a space to call your own or
• 28:24
  everything you get to keep. I have a blanket of mine that I
• 28:28
  get real upset when my husband uses.
• 28:29
  Or he uses it to make a nest for the cat and nap in under his
• 28:33
  desk. He has learned it stays where I
• 28:35
  leave it or put on a blanket ladder if he needs to move.
• 28:40
  I understand all of that. I don't have much of a problem.
• 28:43
  It's weird to have your own snacks, but you know, snacks.
• 28:48
  And drinks with more. But I I get that one but.
• 28:53
  So it's the like and and I and I so I agree more with if I have a
• 29:00
  blanket, don't fucking ball it up for the cat.
• 29:03
  Like I agree with you wholeheartedly lady.
• 29:07
  Now, this is the part that I don't agree with and I didn't
• 29:09
  read it yet it says it says I already gave you my heart and
• 29:15
  the rest of my life. Stop being greedy and let me
• 29:17
  keep a few gosh darn comfort items all to myself.
• 29:22
  And my retort to that is, is your husband not giving you his
• 29:26
  heart and the rest of his life? Because Whoopi fucking do.
• 29:31
  You're giving him your heart and your life.
• 29:33
  He's giving you those same things, right?
• 29:37
  If you guys share a home, it's like like it's not you shouldn't
• 29:41
  you shouldn't think about it as not having your own place.
• 29:44
  If you want to have your own place, don't get married, don't
• 29:47
  have a partner, live on your own.
• 29:49
  You know, like that's just silly.
• 29:52
  The only part. So I guess I guess I could
• 29:53
  understand the snacks thing too and the cat thing.
• 29:56
  But her comment just kind of bothered me because it like with
• 29:59
  the with the whole with the whole I gave you my heart and
• 30:02
  the rest of my life, like he's doing the same thing for you.
• 30:04
  Girl. You can't share a fucking like
• 30:06
  it. You know, I don't know.
• 30:10
  And then to everybody else, I was thinking, she does have her
• 30:15
  own stuff that we don't share. It's called the toothbrush.
• 30:18
  You know we don't share the toothbrush, but you know what we
• 30:24
  might, we might start because the blankets are off limits.
• 30:33
  And that's that's that's all our relationship is, is compromise.
• 30:38
  So yeah, you can't share the blankets.
• 30:39
  Fuck it, it was a toothbrush. The compromising in my house is
• 30:45
  wild, dude. So if you know me, I don't like
• 30:52
  having my blinds open. I like keeping my blinds closed
• 30:57
  because I like privacy. I don't like the idea of
• 30:59
  somebody being able to watch me through a window and stuff like
• 31:01
  that. So I like to keep the windows
• 31:04
  closed and the door closed and the blinds closed.
• 31:08
  And Maddie's the opposite. Maddie likes the, the blinds up,
• 31:12
  the windows open, the fresh breeze coming in, the sunshine
• 31:16
  coming and everything. So she likes them open.
• 31:18
  I like them closed. So we, what we've done in this
• 31:21
  house is we've come to a compromise to where they just
• 31:23
  stay open all the time and fuck what I want, you know.
• 31:27
  And so it's like a really good, yeah, you know, it's, Yep,
• 31:29
  serious relationship type shit. You know, it's good compromise,
• 31:33
  you know? I have an example like that when
• 31:36
  I lived in California. With who?
• 31:42
  My my wife at the time now my ex-wife, we were trying to
• 31:47
  decide on what pet to get. I wanted a dog she wanted a cat.
• 31:53
  So we compromised and we got 2 cats.
• 32:01
  That works. For example, I wanted to go on a
• 32:06
  hunting trip, Jenna wanted to go to Disney, so we compromised and
• 32:12
  went on a Disney cruise, which. Is.
• 32:17
  Wild if you knew how often they go the fucking Disney wild.
• 32:26
  I don't want to talk about it, but yeah, it's a lot.
• 32:32
  But that's where I get lightsabers from.
• 32:35
  You got lightsabers? Yeah, dude.
• 32:38
  That's cool, I see nicotine guitars.
• 32:46
  You got to look up. A mannequin.
• 32:49
  I see Afghanistan and. Antonio Banderas blow up sex
• 32:53
  doll. OK, I called that dragon
• 32:57
  collection. Or two of them, or one of them.
• 32:59
  I can't. Yeah, there's, there's three of
• 33:01
  them. OK, OK.
• 33:03
  That's pretty cool. I you know.
• 33:06
  Disney's expensive, dude. I can't.
• 33:09
  Yeah. I just can't swing it.
• 33:11
  I wish I could swing it. I can't do it.
• 33:14
  Mike also wishes they could swing it.
• 33:17
  Right. Yeah, yeah.
• 33:22
  Oh well. Put it on credit card.
• 33:26
  Yeah, I don't. Know if there's one simple hack?
• 33:28
  Go what? How much does it cost to go to
• 33:30
  Disneyland with the kids? More or less.
• 33:34
  Than Disneyland that's that's right around for a week,
• 33:39
  probably within for for like a week.
• 33:42
  OK you're you're probably right around give or take 500 bucks
• 33:48
  depends on how much you're going to like go eat out at the
• 33:51
  restaurants or if you're going to be smart like you can be
• 33:53
  smart about it and do Disney on a budget.
• 33:55
  Yeah, I mean, we don't, but you can.
• 34:02
  Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah, I.
• 34:09
  See the fucking flashback behind Mike's eyes like.
• 34:15
  Getting getting fucking harassed by stormtroopers and shit.
• 34:26
  Nothing. Nothing for that I.
• 34:29
  Was reading about cocaine hippos, I'm sorry and.
• 34:34
  What? I.
• 34:35
  Opened my phone to see what time it was, and when I opened my
• 34:39
  phone, Facebook was already open and it was talking about how
• 34:43
  they're talking about euthanizing Pablo Escobar's
• 34:47
  cocaine hippos and seeing that. Once you see cocaine hippos,
• 34:53
  which was the first words I saw, you just kind of get drawn and
• 34:57
  you're like, what? Because I hate hippos.
• 35:00
  So what did you say? It's like properly.
• 35:03
  No, no, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
• 35:05
  Wait a minute. Let me get this straight, you a
• 35:09
  guy sitting in front of a fucking computer went to open
• 35:14
  your phone which you just could hit the lock button and open up
• 35:17
  the lock screen which shows you the time you unlock your phone
• 35:22
  and Facebook is open. We don't own that content.
• 35:35
  Get it off the screen. What the fuck, man?
• 35:41
  What the fuck? Off your camera.
• 35:42
  What the fuck? That was weird.
• 35:46
  Yeah, you had like 17 opportunities to figure out what
• 35:49
  fucking time it was without reading about Pablo Escobar's
• 35:53
  fucking cocaine hippos. Yeah, I got it.
• 35:57
  I don't know. Why do you hate hippos?
• 36:02
  Hippos. Are fucking terrible creatures.
• 36:06
  Like they're mean. They're just mean.
• 36:09
  They're super, super cruel animals and I hate them.
• 36:15
  They're fast and they're just awful creatures.
• 36:21
  They kill to kill, they don't kill to eat, they're mean,
• 36:25
  they're malicious, and they're like fucking giant jumbo
• 36:30
  sausages that can fucking get serious air.
• 36:33
  And they swim fast. You ever seen one swim?
• 36:37
  Fuck that bro. Do they actually swim or do they
• 36:40
  just run along the? Bottom they swim.
• 36:45
  Let me ask you that. Fast.
• 36:48
  Because you found valid points the whole time.
• 36:50
  Do you see the video of the hippo shitting at the zoo?
• 36:54
  Or. I've seen the hippo shit in real
• 36:56
  life but so. At the zoo.
• 37:00
  But but dude, there's a video of these guys on a boat.
• 37:11
  The boat's on plane, bro, and there's a hippo chasing them and
• 37:17
  keeping up with them and almost catching them.
• 37:21
  That's scary ass shit because it's like a £600 animal at
• 37:26
  least, bro, and they're fucking fast.
• 37:31
  They run fast on land, they run fast in the water, they swim
• 37:35
  fast. They got a lot of.
• 37:37
  Power. And they're straight fucking
• 37:39
  muscle. They're all they are.
• 37:41
  What was What was your guess on their weight?
• 37:44
  I said £600 but they're probably heavier.
• 37:48
  Yeah, try 310. Three to 10,000 lbs.
• 37:52
  Oh, OK, yeah, cool. So that's way fucking worse.
• 37:58
  And yeah, I don't know, you just, have you ever seen the
• 38:02
  video? You ever seen the videos of like
• 38:06
  fucking an animal getting attacked by a crocodile, right?
• 38:10
  And then the crocodile, like it gets away and you're like, oh
• 38:13
  wow, it got away from the crocodile thing.
• 38:15
  And then a fucking hippo comes and just fucking gives it a way
• 38:18
  more brutal death than it would have had with the crocodiles.
• 38:22
  And then it just leaves it there.
• 38:23
  It just killed it to kill it. It just killed it because fuck
• 38:25
  you. Like it's mean, bro.
• 38:28
  Like I don't know. Hippos are like the one animal.
• 38:33
  Like I won't go and hunt them because I'm afraid of them, but
• 38:36
  it warms my heart that there are people out there that hunt them
• 38:39
  because I hate them. I hate hippo.
• 38:42
  God I hate. Hippos.
• 38:46
  Listen, nothing that weighs 10,000 lbs has any fucking
• 38:51
  business running 19 to 30 miles an hour on land.
• 38:54
  What I'm saying? On land.
• 38:57
  That's what I'm saying. It's a fucking literally a tube
• 39:01
  of Jimmy Dean sausage fucking running bro.
• 39:03
  It's fucking fast as shit though.
• 39:05
  It makes no goddamn sense. It shouldn't be aerodynamic, but
• 39:09
  it doesn't. It doesn't matter, it just goes.
• 39:13
  It's nuts. Yeah, fuck that.
• 39:19
  No, see, I don't know fucking questions about the cocaine
• 39:23
  hippos though. Like were those hippos that were
• 39:26
  bought with cocaine money or were like they getting fed
• 39:29
  cocaine? All right, let's do a because.
• 39:31
  If the hippos were fucking coked up, that would be terrifying.
• 39:35
  Tell me. Oh, I can tell you.
• 39:52
  So for those of you driving to work and not watching us all
• 39:55
  Google shit about cocaine hippos, that's what you're
• 39:58
  missing out on right now is all of us staring not even at the
• 40:00
  cameras. But staring at our screens,
• 40:03
  trying to figure out holy fucking shit, they're going to
• 40:08
  call 80 of those motherfucker. What?
• 40:12
  Yeah, descendants of four hippos illegally imported following his
• 40:18
  93 death. They escaped into the Magdalena
• 40:22
  River, multiplying to over 100 and 5200 as of 2026.
• 40:31
  You know, that's not a very big gene pool for somewhere that
• 40:34
  they're considered an invasive species.
• 40:37
  I think we need to study those critters.
• 40:38
  What? Country is this in?
• 40:41
  Colombia, Colombia. Here's the thing, it says after
• 40:45
  failures to control the population through
• 40:48
  sterilization. No.
• 40:53
  Shit, how the fuck do you sterilize it?
• 40:56
  Like who's going down there and do?
• 40:58
  They're one of those things. It's a lot of hands in I think
• 41:00
  you just. I think you just put a rubber
• 41:02
  band on it. Are are you getting on the
• 41:05
  backside of that thing? I'll do anything once.
• 41:11
  I think that's one thing you can only do once.
• 41:15
  There there's a lot of things you can only do once.
• 41:19
  I don't know, there's something seriously unhealthy about my
• 41:22
  hatred towards these things. I might have gotten killed by a
• 41:26
  hippo in a past life because I just, I, I just get rage when I
• 41:31
  see these things. I hate these things so much.
• 41:34
  I think you need to go cuddle a baby hippo.
• 41:37
  No, even the baby ones can get fucked.
• 41:40
  Dude, I don't like seriously, I. Piss a lot of people off because
• 41:44
  that was a big thing couple of months ago.
• 41:47
  What? All of our listeners, we're
• 41:51
  going to, we're going to open up a GoFundMe to pay for Jimmy to
• 41:54
  force him to go cuddle a baby hippo.
• 41:58
  Not doing it. What what happened recently with
• 42:02
  the baby hippo? It was that fucking like, what
• 42:03
  was it like the zoo in China or something like that?
• 42:07
  That the it's like the pygmy hippo that the entire Internet
• 42:13
  was fucking obsessed with for a while.
• 42:16
  Yeah, that was the thing. Yeah.
• 42:19
  Yeah, I'm good. I don't like them.
• 42:24
  They suck. Well you can always go apply for
• 42:29
  a visa fucking Columbia to volunteer to hunt them whenever.
• 42:35
  I won't do it until. Rain.
• 42:37
  What if it's from a helicopter though?
• 42:40
  With a mini gun? On them, things they can reach,
• 42:43
  fucking they're fucking impressive creatures.
• 42:45
  What the fuck are they gonna do? Are they gonna like themselves
• 42:50
  to the sky? Fucking like blacid dude what
• 42:54
  the? Fuck fucking airborne hippos.
• 42:56
  Remaining a human hippo tower. They're going to fucking get us
• 42:59
  fly 7 feet to the right. Again, Michigan resident went on
• 43:08
  a helicopter ride this evening and got killed by a hungry,
• 43:11
  hungry hippo. The resident claims to have been
• 43:18
  confused when he was hanging out of the side of a helicopter with
• 43:21
  his balls out, saying gobble up. Dude, I I just can't do it.
• 43:29
  I just, you know, it's not good. Do you hate any other animals
• 43:35
  this. Much.
• 43:36
  I don't like monkeys. I don't like chimpanzees.
• 43:42
  I am equally, equally. I have the same feeling towards
• 43:47
  chimpanzees, Gorillas. Gorillas are OK.
• 43:55
  Not overly fond of orangutans. I don't really like baboons, but
• 44:03
  chimpanzees, I hate them. But that's for like a different
• 44:09
  reason. Like, I mean, I guess it's not
• 44:15
  because it's kind of honestly, it's kind of the same thing.
• 44:17
  They're cruel as shit. They're just fucking awful.
• 44:21
  They're mean. Like the things that they do to
• 44:24
  other animals. Like, have you seen, have you
• 44:28
  seen the video of the one with the frog in its enclosure?
• 44:35
  That's the worst fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.
• 44:41
  It literally broke the frog's jaw and used it as a flashlight
• 44:47
  and it was the. Like.
• 44:49
  God, I just wish somebody would have sent a 12 gauge slug into
• 44:52
  that chimpanzee's face. Like it was just awful to watch
• 44:57
  and but it's fine because like, do you know what they do to
• 45:00
  people, bro? Do you know what happens when a
• 45:03
  chimpanzee gets a hold of you? Don't.
• 45:05
  Do you know what it does to you Did.
• 45:07
  They break your jaw. The first thing that those, so
• 45:10
  the first thing that happens in a in a chimpanzee attack is they
• 45:14
  go after any appendage and any, any, any caved in surface and
• 45:22
  any appendages. So that means they go for your
• 45:25
  eyes first. They got they gouge them out,
• 45:29
  they bite your fingers, they bite your nose and they go for
• 45:32
  your Dick. That is a true story.
• 45:37
  That is the first things that they go for.
• 45:39
  And they're so strong that you can't do anything to stop them.
• 45:43
  They're like, they're like 6 times stronger than a human
• 45:46
  being and maybe more like there's nothing you can do.
• 45:51
  But yes, they go my. Question my question is why is
• 45:54
  your Dick out near a champion they.
• 45:55
  Just know it's there, bro. You're you think, you think
• 45:59
  denim, you think denim's going to stop that.
• 46:02
  No, I mean, I fucking hope so. You can't see it through the
• 46:06
  denim. That's for they're.
• 46:07
  Turning your Levi's into tear away pants bro.
• 46:10
  They got they're kind of sharp ass canine teeth dude.
• 46:16
  It's not good I. Only think they're canine teeth
• 46:18
  if it's on a chimp. I think they're chimp teeth.
• 46:19
  They're chimp chimping teeth chimp cities.
• 46:30
  No. Then they got weird looking
• 46:32
  butt. Holes like.
• 46:36
  Speaking of butt holes, where the fuck is babe?
• 46:38
  You look. So you just fucking you?
• 46:46
  Should join him up. Oh my God.
• 46:48
  Get in your fucking. Spot.
• 46:56
  It's space, dude. God, yeah, he's here.
• 47:02
  All right, let's talk about space.
• 47:05
  Oh 100% getting fucking cancelled by Peter after this
• 47:08
  episode. Welcome.
• 47:11
  We didn't do anything. I want to put it, put it, put it
• 47:15
  out in the open. I'd fucking, I want, I want to
• 47:18
  do something and. We gave you the opportunity.
• 47:21
  You can go to Columbia. Yeah.
• 47:26
  I think so. The number 2, the second, I
• 47:29
  think the second most dangerous animal in the world is a is a
• 47:32
  hippo. I think when it comes to when it
• 47:35
  comes to fatalities, hippos take the number two slot and killing
• 47:42
  people. You know what the number one is
• 47:45
  before you look it up. You know what it #1 is.
• 47:52
  A mosquito. It's fucking down because of
• 48:01
  malaria. I mean, it's it's true, but.
• 48:04
  So mosquito takes #1 hippo takes #2 fucking brutal ass treat.
• 48:15
  Oh yeah, look at that. Ah well, your.
• 48:27
  Words. OK, I have I have two two lists.
• 48:39
  One is the top deadliest animals by annual death.
• 48:45
  The other one is key wildlife threat.
• 48:52
  Which one should we start with? Number one or two?
• 48:59
  That's not one or two. OK.
• 49:02
  Wildlife one OK, key wildlife threats.
• 49:05
  So this is, this is critters with body counts according to
• 49:10
  this is crocodile and then hippos and then elephants and
• 49:20
  then lion. Now I, I hear what you were
• 49:25
  saying because you are, you're factually correct.
• 49:27
  These two lists are, are incongruent the top deadliest
• 49:33
  animals #1 mosquitoes. So yeah, spot on. 700,000 to
• 49:40
  1,000,000 deaths per year. That's.
• 49:47
  I can't even count that high #2 anyone want to guess #2 in this
• 49:55
  fucking bullshit list? It is humans.
• 50:00
  Humans are the second deadliest animal.
• 50:03
  I was going to like say we should probably be on both of
• 50:07
  those lists because we kind of, we kind of fucked each other up
• 50:10
  quite a bit 4. 100 to 540,000 deaths a year.
• 50:15
  Then we have snakes. That sounds low like that.
• 50:17
  That seems. Low, yeah, right.
• 50:21
  So, and we have snakes and venomous snakes.
• 50:24
  So this is specifically talking about snake bites from from
• 50:27
  Nope, ropes, no, from danger noodles.
• 50:30
  Danger noodles. Then we have dogs.
• 50:36
  Dogs is #4 on that list. Oh.
• 50:38
  Fuck and. Beads on that list.
• 50:40
  He just bit bit me. Fuck head.
• 50:44
  And parentheses. Primarily that number comes from
• 50:47
  rabies. Then we have then, then we have
• 50:54
  freshwater snails. I'll get you what.
• 51:01
  Yeah, it says they bludgeon you to death with their shell.
• 51:06
  Yeah, you know what? That that drags.
• 51:09
  Remember the meme? The slug that follows you and
• 51:11
  kills you? The snail, I mean.
• 51:15
  Yeah, no. But no, the freshwater snails
• 51:22
  are linked to. Schizophrenia.
• 51:29
  Chimpanzees. Schizophrenic chimpanzees.
• 51:32
  Jesus Christ. Oh.
• 51:33
  God, a new fear unlocked. It's schizosomiasis.
• 51:41
  No fucking idea. My ex-wife has that.
• 51:45
  Schizosomiasis. Oh no, she's got to stay away
• 51:50
  from those freshwater snails. She's going to get bludgeoned to
• 51:54
  death. Then we have teetsie flies,
• 51:57
  which are linked to sleeping sickness.
• 52:00
  No idea. And the last thing on this list?
• 52:07
  What the fuck are assassin bugs? What are Assassin's bugs?
• 52:17
  I don't know I'm. Using your nails, for fuck's
• 52:21
  sake. It hurts.
• 52:24
  Oh Jesus fucking Christ. Kill it.
• 52:30
  I I don't, I don't like this. On this.
• 52:35
  Fucking Google it now. I'm just going to, I'm just
• 52:39
  going to show you guys. What the fuck is that thing?
• 52:52
  It looks like a fucking it so like for me.
• 52:56
  To it's a bug with a bunch of bodies on its back.
• 52:58
  It looks like a basically a carrier bug that's carrying
• 53:02
  water snails. Fucking delivering it to the
• 53:07
  enemy. I don't like it.
• 53:10
  I didn't like that. I I hate.
• 53:13
  Bugs that carry other bugs like like, I don't know what phobia
• 53:17
  that is. Well, you leave ants out of
• 53:19
  this. Have you seen if you seen like
• 53:22
  the scorpions that carry their babies on its back?
• 53:24
  That's so disgusting to me. Like just seeing a bug carrying
• 53:30
  a bunch of other bugs on it is gross.
• 53:35
  Like, have you? You've seen what I'm talking
• 53:37
  about, right? Yeah, you know what animal I
• 53:42
  hate with a passion? Spiders.
• 53:45
  Ticks. Don't get me started on ticks
• 53:48
  you're going to make me go out of.
• 53:49
  Wabbit hole. I don't know what what niche
• 53:54
  they fill in a fucking ecosystem.
• 53:57
  I hate them. What do they even do?
• 54:00
  Try. My ringer off I'm.
• 54:02
  Sorry, the fact that I can get bit by a bug and then never be
• 54:05
  able to eat red meat again in my wife pisses me off to no end.
• 54:10
  I. That's why I take a bath in deep
• 54:12
  before I go outside. I would I would self delete if a
• 54:16
  bug cost me my ability to ever eat steak again.
• 54:21
  Yeah. Gone.
• 54:27
  Whitehead is rabbit hole now. So.
• 54:29
  I was about to dive into it. Anyway, you guys done got me
• 54:32
  started. So apparently, all right, you're
• 54:40
  ready. You guys winding up?
• 54:43
  Oh shit. Apparently, they're going to be
• 54:45
  unveiling a new vaccine for Lyme disease.
• 54:50
  Breary. And now?
• 54:52
  Finally out of animal testing, huh?
• 54:53
  Because my dogs have gotten vaccinated against Lyme since
• 54:56
  I've moved to fucking Maryland. So they're about to unveil a
• 55:00
  vaccine for Lyme disease, and farmers are finding crates of
• 55:07
  ticks on their properties, like getting dropped off boxes of
• 55:11
  ticks. They're just finding them on
• 55:14
  their land. And they're like, what the fuck?
• 55:16
  And this year in April, and mind you, it's been very cold in
• 55:24
  Michigan, where it's finally warm.
• 55:26
  It's finally spring. It's April 14th.
• 55:30
  And today was like 70° outside. Last week it was like 30 OK on
• 55:38
  Sunday my buddy went to go scout a hunting property with his
• 55:43
  buddy because he got access to a new hunting property.
• 55:47
  So he was showing his buddy his state land basically saying you
• 55:50
  don't have a place to hunt. This is where I go.
• 55:52
  This is public. Let me let me walk you to my
• 55:55
  spot. They had 20 ticks on them and
• 55:59
  it's already like the ticks are already out bro.
• 56:02
  So it's already going to be a relentless year with ticks and
• 56:05
  I've never had it. I've had two times in my life
• 56:09
  have I had a tick on me, not biting me, but on my clothes.
• 56:12
  One was in North Carolina and then another was here.
• 56:18
  I'm an outdoorsy. I'm outdoorsy as fuck.
• 56:22
  I love hiking in the woods. I don't I don't like to stick to
• 56:25
  the trails. I go into the woods, I hunt, I
• 56:28
  fish, I go through the thicket. I have never had a problem with
• 56:32
  ticks. And this year the ticks are
• 56:36
  really bad. Now, I'm not saying we don't
• 56:38
  have ticks, like I'd be a liar, like we've always had ticks, but
• 56:42
  I've just, I've never had a run in.
• 56:44
  So I but the fact that people are finding boxes of ticks on
• 56:48
  their farms and stuff, it's just very unusual.
• 56:52
  And just the way, the, the way the, the way the country is
• 56:56
  going, you got, you've got all these, you got this vaccine
• 57:04
  coming out and then you got the number one distributor of Lyme
• 57:08
  disease all of a sudden having a crazy year.
• 57:14
  And also we have the tick that you're talking about which makes
• 57:20
  people allergic to meat, while we have one of our one of the
• 57:24
  world's richest billionaire is working on making lab grown meat
• 57:28
  that is safe for consumption. If you had said disease, put on
• 57:34
  your fucking tin hat tinfoil hats boys.
• 57:36
  This shit's fucking scary. So that's what I'm talking
• 57:38
  about. Rabbit holes.
• 57:39
  Like my Instagram algorithm is nuts right now and I hate it.
• 57:43
  I want off. I want off this planet so
• 57:46
  goddamn bad bro Not good. Let me tell you.
• 57:50
  I mean, it sucks that this is the only one.
• 57:55
  Right. Till Elon gets us to Mars.
• 58:01
  That means somebody literally coated ticks and Lyme disease
• 58:04
  into the simulation. Yeah.
• 58:09
  I want to meet that guy. Yeah, me too.
• 58:11
  I'd beat the fucking shit out of a we need more fucking goth
• 58:13
  baddies. But no, we get fucking ticks.
• 58:16
  Fucking bullshit. I asked for big titty goth
• 58:21
  baddies and you gave me a Lyme disease carrying tics.
• 58:26
  Hey, Jimmy's Instagram feed is all fucking conspiracy theories.
• 58:31
  My TikTok algorithm is all goth baddies.
• 58:33
  I can promise you they're out there, they're reproducing it.
• 58:39
  This is the year. I mean, they keep fucking
• 58:43
  showing up so. Saying that my Reddit, my Reddit
• 58:51
  algorithm can for confirm that can confirm that they are in
• 58:54
  fact reproducing. They just.
• 58:57
  Confirms that they're breeding. No, it's it's not even breeding.
• 59:01
  They're just, they just split like mitosis.
• 59:06
  I thought that's how redheads happened.
• 59:10
  I'll ask. Thought that was when you left
• 59:14
  your son. You.
• 59:15
  Guys have seen, you guys have seen Lord of the Rings, right?
• 59:19
  Yeah. Where they pull the orcs out of
• 59:21
  the wall and they're screaming and shit.
• 59:22
  That's, that's how I picture redheads are born, You know,
• 59:26
  they just come out hissing and screaming and sharp teeth and
• 59:30
  shit. Then they end up being just
• 59:32
  insanely hot. Not like the orcs.
• 59:34
  Orcs are not insanely hot. The redheads are.
• 59:39
  Redheads are nice. And now we know why Jimmy got
• 59:43
  banned from fucking Comic Con. I was looking for all the women
• 59:52
  in fucking redhead orc cosplay. What do you think about the
• 1:00:00
  conspiracy? Shit well like like which ones
• 1:00:06
  specifically? Like your your tick rant you
• 1:00:08
  just went on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.
• 1:00:16
  Yeah, that's that is extremely circumstantial.
• 1:00:22
  Like it, I just. I would rather get Lyme disease.
• 1:00:28
  I would rather get the Lyme disease than get the get the
• 1:00:32
  meat 1, you know. Yeah, I'd rather get Lyme
• 1:00:36
  disease than meat. I I would hate to get bitten by
• 1:00:41
  the loans because the Lone Star tick is the one that carries the
• 1:00:45
  it's a disease that makes you allergic to meat.
• 1:00:47
  Now, luckily. I mean, we do have them in
• 1:00:50
  Michigan, allegedly, but apparently they're not that
• 1:00:54
  common. So we have.
• 1:00:56
  Them in Maryland. Well, I'm not coming to
• 1:00:58
  Maryland. Yeah, you are.
• 1:01:01
  You can cuddle baby hippos here, so yeah.
• 1:01:04
  Yeah, you fucking are. If there's hippos and Lone Star
• 1:01:07
  ticks, I am good. Bro.
• 1:01:10
  I am. I'm sure somebody's even got a
• 1:01:12
  chimpanzee here. You're.
• 1:01:13
  Basically in a third world country right now and I'm good
• 1:01:17
  fucking. What other what other fun
• 1:01:26
  tinfoil hat things can we talk about?
• 1:01:32
  I got. Plenty.
• 1:01:34
  I don't think we. Should go down.
• 1:01:35
  I don't think we should go down the other ones right now.
• 1:01:42
  Oh, where do you guys, where do you guys land on?
• 1:01:44
  There's a new pick one or say Nope.
• 1:01:50
  All right, we can do this bit, but then I'm I'm going
• 1:01:52
  somewhere. Epstein shit.
• 1:01:54
  Nope. Nope.
• 1:01:55
  Is real shit. Nope.
• 1:01:57
  Nope. Hard no tick shit, which we
• 1:02:01
  already did. Already done chemtrails.
• 1:02:06
  I don't care. Yeah.
• 1:02:07
  There's nothing we can do, OK? A lot of it ties into Bill
• 1:02:11
  Gates. So.
• 1:02:16
  Yeah, and yet you still love Microsoft.
• 1:02:18
  Pretty much it. Yeah, I know.
• 1:02:23
  I. Know and then the newest one is
• 1:02:28
  fucking. Well it's not really a
• 1:02:31
  conspiracy, it's just more so the algorithm fucking Trump as
• 1:02:35
  Jesus than my algorithm. I I also don't want to touch
• 1:02:44
  that one, no. But.
• 1:02:47
  His retort to that had me fucking dying.
• 1:02:52
  Where he said he was a doctor. Yeah.
• 1:02:58
  Idiot. That's all I gotta say.
• 1:03:01
  Fucking idiot. Yeah, where are you guys at with
• 1:03:05
  whether or not Artemis 2 actually circled the moon?
• 1:03:12
  I I don't fucking buy it. They already did this once in
• 1:03:15
  like the fucking 60s with the moon is all just fucking sound
• 1:03:21
  stages like it doesn't exist. Yeah, yeah, especially when
• 1:03:28
  allegedly right 'cause AI is pretty fucking good nowadays.
• 1:03:32
  But one of the Artemis 2 astronauts apparently was like,
• 1:03:34
  yeah, we'll be the first ones to go to the moon.
• 1:03:38
  Fucking what? It's like, what do you mean by
• 1:03:40
  that? Thought we had done this
• 1:03:42
  already. Well, it's pretty well it's.
• 1:03:44
  Yeah. It's pretty well documented and
• 1:03:49
  it's been pretty well. It's more it's more likely that
• 1:03:55
  we never been to the moon than it is that we have at this
• 1:03:59
  point, like the like the the moon landing was just an effort
• 1:04:05
  to win the Cold War. And I don't believe why.
• 1:04:12
  A really good argument is why haven't we done it again, right?
• 1:04:16
  How are we went in 1969? Allegedly.
• 1:04:19
  And we haven't fucking gone back.
• 1:04:21
  And it's not because it's not because we want didn't want to,
• 1:04:25
  it's that we couldn't. Yeah, we did not.
• 1:04:28
  Figure it out technology to do it again.
• 1:04:30
  How did we have the technology back then?
• 1:04:33
  And then we lost the technology I.
• 1:04:35
  Have more fucking technology Oh my God damn smartphone than what
• 1:04:39
  they supposedly had in the room for the Apollo missions, but
• 1:04:45
  yeah. It's actually a Common Core.
• 1:04:46
  I just. Hear the conspiracy about the
• 1:04:51
  moon being a a device. Made structure.
• 1:04:55
  Made by the Grays to contain our souls when we die.
• 1:05:00
  Oh, I I like that that one. 'S a spunky 1.
• 1:05:04
  I haven't heard that one. Yeah, it's a device that uses to
• 1:05:08
  trap our souls and keeps our souls from going where they're
• 1:05:12
  supposed to go. Cuz our souls are supposed to go
• 1:05:15
  somewhere apparently according to this theory, and that the the
• 1:05:19
  divide the moon harvests our souls so they could be consumed
• 1:05:23
  by the greys. We're a pretty wild one.
• 1:05:30
  I don't like the implication that has about the greys.
• 1:05:33
  I I don't either. Those are the people running the
• 1:05:37
  simulation well. The Greys are aliens.
• 1:05:44
  It really is just fucking matrix.
• 1:05:50
  I wish I could do that thing with my thumb or I make it look
• 1:05:52
  like my thumb's coming off my hand because you're.
• 1:05:55
  This seems like a good time. We are in the matrix, yeah.
• 1:05:57
  Look, I don't know how to do it. Yeah, I don't either.
• 1:06:12
  Where are you guys at with Flat Earth?
• 1:06:16
  I don't like it. Flat Earth would be a nightmare
• 1:06:21
  for everybody who lives near hippos because it would be
• 1:06:24
  fucking impossible to away from them.
• 1:06:26
  So wouldn't they? Eventually I'll just follow.
• 1:06:28
  The footage. Though.
• 1:06:29
  What the fuck does that mean? Do you think you're literally
• 1:06:32
  running a hippo and like juking it at the end of the earth?
• 1:06:35
  You're not on a Flat Earth. Fucking stand.
• 1:06:39
  No chance. Nuts.
• 1:06:46
  You could just push them all off the edge of the earth though.
• 1:06:50
  I don't believe in Flat Earth. I think that's silly.
• 1:06:56
  OK, but where's the actual proof that it's round?
• 1:07:01
  I think they, I think they did prove it.
• 1:07:03
  I think they, I think, I think this guy like didn't they
• 1:07:06
  experiment with a flat earther using a light?
• 1:07:11
  And he was like, the light was supposed to be visible if the
• 1:07:15
  Earth was flat and it wasn't because of the curvature.
• 1:07:19
  Like I didn't watch. OK, so you you take that like,
• 1:07:26
  because you can't see a light, you're like, yeah, guess the
• 1:07:28
  Earth isn't flat. They're supposedly like spinning
• 1:07:32
  thousands of miles around. The windows.
• 1:07:35
  And nothing's falling off. Right, right, right, right.
• 1:07:38
  And we know that satellites are real.
• 1:07:40
  We can see them, we see them up there, the.
• 1:07:43
  Fucking satellites. The hell you're talking about?
• 1:07:46
  You don't see the star length ones flying around every once in
• 1:07:48
  a while. Looks like fucking giant sea
• 1:07:50
  snails just flying in the sky. Fucking just.
• 1:07:54
  Looks like. Assassin bug just fucking linked
• 1:07:56
  up. But the satellites get up there,
• 1:08:02
  they show you, you know, they're like, hey, look, this is what
• 1:08:04
  you look like, idiot, you know? Yeah, idiot, You're round.
• 1:08:11
  I don't. I don't believe in own
• 1:08:13
  satellites because space isn't real, right?
• 1:08:16
  I don't believe in satellites. That doesn't make sense to me.
• 1:08:23
  I don't give a fuck, just send me more stimulus money.
• 1:08:25
  The fuck? Did you buy a fucking lion cub
• 1:08:32
  with the stimulus check? His name is Stimba.
• 1:08:38
  Where's our fucking tariff money, dude?
• 1:08:41
  Weren't we supposed to give? Tariff checks.
• 1:08:44
  What a wild fucking series of years.
• 1:08:49
  I fucking hate it. Look, we went.
• 1:08:55
  We went from a president that couldn't walk straight to a
• 1:08:58
  fucking president that's fucking ChatGPT himself as Jesus.
• 1:09:03
  Fucking wild, bro, Fucking fucking wild.
• 1:09:10
  We're gonna be started. I don't talk.
• 1:09:12
  About this shit. Can get cancelled.
• 1:09:16
  Yeah, we are, yeah. Not you.
• 1:09:19
  You guys have been smart. Me though, once I get started.
• 1:09:24
  Dude, right? It's a spectrum just like
• 1:09:30
  everything else. Oh, I'm on it.
• 1:09:31
  You don't have to love him. You don't have to absolutely
• 1:09:33
  fucking hate him. You're allowed to fall somewhere
• 1:09:36
  in the middle and agree with some things and disagree with
• 1:09:39
  others. It's called being a human adult
• 1:09:41
  with fully formed fucking thoughts.
• 1:09:44
  The Gulf of America. You're allowed.
• 1:09:47
  Yeah, I'm here for that. Like not agree with everything
• 1:09:51
  but also find some of the shit he does absolutely fucking
• 1:09:54
  hilarious. What did he do that was funny?
• 1:09:58
  Oh, fucking with the thing with Canada was funny.
• 1:10:03
  That was kind of funny. And then Shane Willis bit about
• 1:10:09
  Donald Trump fucking wanting. Greenland.
• 1:10:11
  Because of. Leif Erikson's fucking Viking
• 1:10:15
  tactic. Fucking 1300 years.
• 1:10:17
  Ago naming Greenland. Greenland, because it's all ice.
• 1:10:19
  And Iceland, Iceland, it's all green.
• 1:10:22
  He's like, it's just hilarious to think that 13 years ago he
• 1:10:25
  played that ploy and now 13 years, three, 300 years later,
• 1:10:29
  our current sitting president is falling.
• 1:10:31
  He's like Green. Such a fucking good bit.
• 1:10:40
  Yeah, I'll, I think one of my favorite moments.
• 1:10:48
  So far has been. Not really a specific moment,
• 1:10:51
  just. Just the fact of that, we
• 1:10:55
  literally flew the deadliest. Men on the fucking.
• 1:10:58
  Planet into a foreign country and going to their fucking
• 1:11:03
  leader because we wanted to try him in the.
• 1:11:08
  US, yeah. Well, but I think the funnier
• 1:11:11
  thing. There teeth and white girl.
• 1:11:13
  Music, I think the funniest thing.
• 1:11:17
  There is the fact. That he.
• 1:11:20
  Maduro allegedly was like, here's where I'm going to be,
• 1:11:23
  come fucking get me. And Trump went bet.
• 1:11:29
  OK, Yeah. And then flew some of the.
• 1:11:34
  Baddest dudes on the planet. In to go get him and the memes
• 1:11:39
  that have come out about what that interaction in the room
• 1:11:41
  must have fucking been or arguably should have fucking
• 1:11:45
  been are absolutely hysterical. Top tier with the dude laying in
• 1:11:51
  bed. Next to him.
• 1:11:53
  Yeah, good morning with no casualties, by the way.
• 1:11:59
  Yeah. That, that whole thing's fucking
• 1:12:04
  wild. Absolutely wild.
• 1:12:08
  That's what happens when you're the fucking best.
• 1:12:10
  Yo, young people. And then deal with it after the
• 1:12:14
  fact. Pretty much, hey, you can't do
• 1:12:18
  that. While I did.
• 1:12:19
  So. Who's going to stop me?
• 1:12:23
  We just proved we're #1. Absolutely fucking wild.
• 1:12:34
  But all right. So Artemis 2 that that's a hoax
• 1:12:38
  we're. Just trying to trying to get
• 1:12:40
  the, I guess the Russians to spend more money on throwing
• 1:12:43
  cosmonauts up into space and not being able to recover them
• 1:12:48
  because they they. Apparently are the ones that had
• 1:12:50
  the first person in space. And especially if we sound
• 1:12:54
  staged the landing. Then yeah, they.
• 1:12:56
  Definitely had the first person in space and apparently 2
• 1:13:02
  Italian. Brothers intercepted the radio.
• 1:13:04
  Communications and heard them talking back and forth with
• 1:13:09
  their. Fucking cosmonaut.
• 1:13:10
  In orbit and basically saying yeah, we can look get you back
• 1:13:15
  comrade. Have fun.
• 1:13:16
  The one the way trip goodbye. That's for bye bye.
• 1:13:23
  I didn't know that one, but that kind of that sounds accurate.
• 1:13:27
  For them I think they also put a dog in space.
• 1:13:32
  Yeah, they did. I believe it did.
• 1:13:35
  Not go off. That dog didn't come back.
• 1:13:37
  It did. No.
• 1:13:41
  Yes, I. Was that?
• 1:13:44
  Live. Yeah, no.
• 1:13:47
  Yeah, no, I think they found it like 40 years.
• 1:13:51
  Later in the ocean, positive what the?
• 1:13:56
  Fuck yeah, I think if I remember correctly it.
• 1:14:00
  Was either that or a monkey. Which honestly serves.
• 1:14:04
  It right because it was a chimpanzee, but.
• 1:14:11
  You know, Oh. My God, fuck yeah, they.
• 1:14:20
  The. Laika LAIKA was a Soviet space
• 1:14:23
  dog and the first animal to orbit the earth around.
• 1:14:28
  I hate how. If I could read this would be.
• 1:14:32
  Easier. Was a Soviet.
• 1:14:34
  Space dog and the first animal to orbit the Earth aboard
• 1:14:39
  Sputnik 2 on November 3, 1957, apparently.
• 1:14:47
  She was a stray found in Moscow. And.
• 1:14:53
  A bunch of other stuff. The one way mission was never
• 1:14:57
  designed for. Her survival.
• 1:14:59
  And she died within hours from overheating.
• 1:15:07
  You know you hate hippos. I hate that they did that to
• 1:15:10
  that fucking. Dog, Yeah, it's pretty fucked
• 1:15:13
  up, yeah. OK, that was pretty.
• 1:15:18
  Fucked up. Key animals in space history
• 1:15:22
  there have been. Fruit flies, monkeys, dogs.
• 1:15:27
  Those don't count. France lost or?
• 1:15:30
  Launched a cat. In space, France, they said.
• 1:15:34
  Fun in France. Launched a cat in.
• 1:15:38
  The space. Soviet Union again.
• 1:15:43
  Launched Tortoises. In the space and spiders, frogs,
• 1:15:48
  fish, ants and newts have all been sent in space.
• 1:15:53
  Heard with the spider thing, not did all of that.
• 1:15:55
  Any of these animals live? Apparently Apparently the cat
• 1:15:59
  survived they beads. Fuck yeah.
• 1:16:02
  How do you keep a? Fish in water in 0 gravity.
• 1:16:06
  That What the fuck was this up for?
• 1:16:08
  That it's a black? Great question.
• 1:16:18
  Yeah, apparently the. Tortoises launched by the Soviet
• 1:16:21
  Union. Were the first to orbit the
• 1:16:24
  moon, which like I just don't fucking believe it.
• 1:16:27
  It doesn't exist like. I believe that we can orbit the
• 1:16:37
  moon. I just don't fucking.
• 1:16:40
  Moon like, I just don't. Know if we can orbit the moon
• 1:16:43
  with. With biologics inside, we might
• 1:16:50
  be able to now. I mean, obviously not because.
• 1:16:53
  We have. Didn't we just do that fucking
• 1:16:56
  fate no it. Wasn't real.
• 1:16:58
  Oh, you're really? Going to fucking believe that
• 1:17:02
  you guys heard it here first. Folks, NASA, which has
• 1:17:10
  repeatedly had their budget cut in like the past 30 or 40 years,
• 1:17:15
  somehow managed to send people into.
• 1:17:18
  Space to the. Moon again?
• 1:17:21
  Yeah, bullshit. And also why the fuck would you
• 1:17:26
  have to pre pub? Pictures of the dark side of the
• 1:17:30
  moon. The fuck are they hiding?
• 1:17:33
  Exactly what is on the dark side of the moon?
• 1:17:35
  Is that where all the? Grays are hanging out at where?
• 1:17:37
  Its butt. Cheeks are and like so much
• 1:17:45
  about it just doesn't make sense.
• 1:17:47
  Because they were this a piece of news I saw whole fucking
• 1:17:51
  purpose of this supposedly is to, you know, study the moon bug
• 1:17:58
  and like keep eyes on it. And one of the things.
• 1:18:04
  That the astronauts had. Said was they were like, hey, so
• 1:18:08
  we think we think something just hit the moon.
• 1:18:10
  Like there's there's craters, like we didn't see it impact,
• 1:18:14
  but we think something is new here.
• 1:18:17
  So like they just fucking expose.
• 1:18:22
  Themselves, I'm just. Going to point this out to you
• 1:18:25
  guys. During this presidency, since
• 1:18:32
  the release of the Epstein files.
• 1:18:34
  We. Have gone to war with a.
• 1:18:37
  Ramp. Kidnapped the.
• 1:18:40
  Leader of Venezuela sent shit to orbit the moon we started
• 1:18:47
  focusing our efforts on. The fucking aliens.
• 1:18:52
  And what was the other one? Fuck, that was another. 1.
• 1:18:59
  That might be up for now. This is crazy.
• 1:19:04
  Dude, crazy. Crazy shit lesson.
• 1:19:09
  All I. Will say and this is all that.
• 1:19:11
  We, any of us are going to say is that there's one thing that
• 1:19:15
  we haven't fucking seen, and I think we all know what that is.
• 1:19:25
  Wasabi's. Yeah.
• 1:19:29
  We also haven't seen those, but something that was promised.
• 1:19:32
  To us, we still haven't fucking seen it yet, and that's what I'm
• 1:19:35
  upset about. And that's all we're going to
• 1:19:38
  say about it. Tariff money.
• 1:19:43
  Did you? Do you figure out the semantics?
• 1:19:46
  Of the fish in space, No, I, I gave up.
• 1:19:50
  There were three different species.
• 1:19:51
  And I stopped. Fucking caring, God damn it.
• 1:19:54
  OK, but yeah, the moon is a hollow superstructure made of
• 1:20:02
  cheese. What?
• 1:20:11
  Don't yuck my Yum, Gavin. I saw that face you made.
• 1:20:17
  OK. I think that's going to be the
• 1:20:21
  title. Of this episode, don't.
• 1:20:24
  Yuck my Yum. Me and Maddie say that to each
• 1:20:26
  other all the time. It can be a wide variety of
• 1:20:31
  what? We're whatever we're.
• 1:20:32
  Talking about. The article.
• 1:20:36
  That's fair. Apparently OJ Simpson was in a
• 1:20:42
  movie called. Capricorn one where apparently
• 1:20:49
  they were training. Astronauts to go to.
• 1:20:51
  Mars. And then they got pulled last
• 1:20:52
  minute and they're like, yeah, it's a fucking TV show, just
• 1:20:54
  chill, pretend. In 94, four Japanese rice fish.
• 1:21:05
  Successfully made it in laid eggs that hatch to produce
• 1:21:08
  healthy right. I guess that's.
• 1:21:13
  Baby fish, right? Yeah, down.
• 1:21:18
  Weird. Still haven't seen like how the
• 1:21:21
  semantics for that. Yeah, I don't know.
• 1:21:29
  I don't know. I'm tired of talking about
• 1:21:32
  space, though. I want to see some trailers that
• 1:21:39
  Sora made for Three Dudes Save America.
• 1:21:43
  Are we allowed to? Well, I guess we probably.
• 1:21:46
  Yeah, it's it's. AI generated.
• 1:21:49
  Content that. I.
• 1:21:52
  Typed in the prompt for. They were just three guys with
• 1:22:09
  the podcast America Needs You podcast, not special.
• 1:22:12
  Force too late for that bro. And the nation was in trouble.
• 1:22:14
  Covered by our insurance. The only backup was three dudes
• 1:22:16
  with mics this summer. They were just three.
• 1:22:20
  So why does it? Why?
• 1:22:21
  Why so? This is what I don't understand.
• 1:22:23
  About Sora, which by the way, they're getting rid of Sora.
• 1:22:27
  I'm the one that told you guys that.
• 1:22:29
  Why do they? Why?
• 1:22:32
  Why? Do all of the videos just.
• 1:22:34
  Abruptly cut. Off.
• 1:22:36
  Because it's 10 second clips, but here's the.
• 1:22:38
  Here's the. Second, I could survive.
• 1:22:40
  A week with duct tape and beef jerky.
• 1:22:41
  You couldn't survive a day without Wi-Fi.
• 1:22:43
  Federal agents hands. You boys ready to finish the
• 1:22:45
  mission? You.
• 1:22:46
  Run a podcast, not a covert op. That's.
• 1:22:48
  Really. But when?
• 1:22:49
  America, I could survive a week with duct tape and beef jerky.
• 1:22:52
  So my question is. Who's going to play the black
• 1:22:58
  guy? I'll do it and we also.
• 1:23:09
  Need to nail down. Based on what, Chad?
• 1:23:12
  GPT shit out for a rough script. Which one of us is going to be
• 1:23:18
  who? I thought we in the movie.
• 1:23:22
  Oh, we had figured that one out already, did we?
• 1:23:27
  Yeah. 3 hard types. Yeah.
• 1:23:34
  All right, fine, fine. I mean, you can fucking go over
• 1:23:37
  them and. We can rehash it.
• 1:23:39
  I just don't remember if we did or not.
• 1:23:43
  No, I. Don't I don't even want to do it
• 1:23:44
  anymore all. Right, I don't.
• 1:23:46
  Even want to? OK, how about that?
• 1:23:52
  Don't yuck my Yum Gavin that it's fine.
• 1:23:57
  I'm gonna need you to go. Grab whatever the fuck your
• 1:23:59
  comfort item is. That you keep away from Jenna.
• 1:24:02
  Oh my God, she's in her way. Could you imagine if I?
• 1:24:06
  Just had them draped over. My.
• 1:24:07
  Fucking. Shoulders.
• 1:24:10
  We got them so funny. Get them.
• 1:24:13
  Get them now. I don't want to do that.
• 1:24:17
  Get one of them. And make make a cocoon for.
• 1:24:19
  Beads I. Don't want to do that, it would
• 1:24:22
  be funny, but listen, I just. Got to throw this out there.
• 1:24:25
  I fucking broke my mic. Hang on.
• 1:24:32
  So my birthday is tomorrow, right?
• 1:24:37
  Maddie baked. This bad ass cake I'm so.
• 1:24:40
  Excited. I've never been one to give a
• 1:24:44
  shit about my birthday right. I've never had a partner that.
• 1:24:49
  Cared that much. That it was my birthday.
• 1:24:52
  This woman is so excited about my birthday that I'm excited for
• 1:24:56
  my birthday like she's put in. A.
• 1:25:02
  Lot of effort. And I haven't even seen it yet,
• 1:25:05
  like. I just know that she has.
• 1:25:07
  I know I'm not allowed in the other room right now because my
• 1:25:10
  stuff's in there. I get to see whatever that stuff
• 1:25:12
  is tomorrow. I've never had that before.
• 1:25:15
  I'm really, really excited, so I'm not going to piss her off.
• 1:25:17
  It would be funny, but I appreciate that so much because
• 1:25:22
  I've just never had that, you know?
• 1:25:25
  So it's super cool. I I love that you just did that
• 1:25:29
  heartfelt. Shout out but what I need?
• 1:25:31
  You to do before she gets here is get both of her blankets and
• 1:25:36
  your move your entire podcast set up into the room you're not
• 1:25:40
  allowed in and do the reviews of all of the things in there as
• 1:25:45
  she's walking through the door. Yeah, I can't help.
• 1:25:48
  But notice you didn't give me. Any fucking blankets?
• 1:25:51
  Looks like I got to use. No, really.
• 1:25:55
  What? You should do is you should take
• 1:25:57
  the blankets. And drape it on the mount behind
• 1:26:01
  you and be like, Oh yeah, I needed to move them.
• 1:26:03
  So he knows the closest thing we had to a blanket lather man.
• 1:26:12
  But I I love that for. You that's that's a nice thing.
• 1:26:15
  It's pretty cool. Because I also don't give a
• 1:26:16
  single flying fuck about my birthday.
• 1:26:19
  Way to make me feel really lonely and single.
• 1:26:23
  I still go to work on my birthday and stuff like that.
• 1:26:25
  I know people who like. People take the week off, which
• 1:26:28
  is weird to me. Like, I know people who's like,
• 1:26:31
  it's my birth week. Like, like, that's just weird,
• 1:26:34
  dude. Grow up, you know?
• 1:26:35
  Yeah, like I know people who take the day off, which I mean,
• 1:26:39
  it's OK to take your day off. I won't, I won't give you too
• 1:26:42
  much shit, you know? But like, to me, I don't know
• 1:26:46
  the second coolest thing. That I.
• 1:26:49
  Got to do I think it was two years ago and they didn't even
• 1:26:53
  know it was my birthday. Like we went walleye fishing and
• 1:26:58
  my friend Jerry took me out and then she found out it was my
• 1:27:02
  birthday while we were on the. Boat so it.
• 1:27:04
  Was like, you know, it was that was cool.
• 1:27:07
  And then then she took me to dinner after and stuff like
• 1:27:10
  that. Like when she found out it was
• 1:27:11
  my birthday, so that was cool. But like, normally it's just
• 1:27:14
  another day, you know, my parents might Take Me Out to eat
• 1:27:18
  that weekend or whatever, you know, and stuff like that, which
• 1:27:21
  I don't take that for granted, you know, that's cool.
• 1:27:23
  But other than that, it's just another day.
• 1:27:27
  And it's like you want me to be. Happy about, you know, the
• 1:27:31
  fucking yearly reminder that I'm forced to be on the sky forsaken
• 1:27:35
  fucking planet and like, work for a living.
• 1:27:39
  Shit sucks. I'll be happy about this.
• 1:27:42
  Ticks. Hippos, chimps and pedophiles
• 1:27:44
  fucking everywhere. Dude, I fucking.
• 1:27:45
  Want off this shit so God damn bad.
• 1:27:49
  Yeah, fucking help me. I was just.
• 1:27:54
  Fucking tying back to the Flat Earth thing.
• 1:27:57
  I need everybody in India to fucking jump and sync so I can
• 1:28:02
  go right off this bitch. Let's all stand on one side and
• 1:28:06
  just fucking flip it. What do you think the underside
• 1:28:13
  of the planet would look like? Then what?
• 1:28:15
  Do you think it smells like? Probably like taint.
• 1:28:19
  Yeah, I was going to say like a. Taint or feet?
• 1:28:24
  Earth's taint. A tainty foot.
• 1:28:28
  Well, I guess the Earth's taint is fucking.
• 1:28:31
  Ohio, you think about it. Well, I think that's.
• 1:28:35
  America's taint, I think the Earth's taint.
• 1:28:37
  Is the Middle East because it's hot?
• 1:28:41
  It's hot. And it smells.
• 1:28:43
  And it's just sad down there in Ohio, it was America's taint.
• 1:28:49
  As America. 'S high five I'm.
• 1:28:56
  I'm keeping that I'm never forgetting.
• 1:29:00
  That Ohio is America's taint. Arkansas is a close second,
• 1:29:05
  yeah. Where even is I think Arkansas
• 1:29:12
  is actually real. Where?
• 1:29:13
  Is Arkansas. On the map, I don't remember
• 1:29:15
  where that shit's at. It's South of you in the.
• 1:29:20
  US in the Western. Hemisphere there's.
• 1:29:24
  Three states. There's three states I couldn't
• 1:29:27
  tell you. Where they are, there's
• 1:29:29
  Arkansas, there's Nebraska and Delaware.
• 1:29:34
  Fucking you know. What?
• 1:29:37
  I mean, you don't know where the hairy women are at, I've heard.
• 1:29:42
  I've heard mumblings of the Hairy.
• 1:29:43
  Women I. Don't know where they're at?
• 1:29:46
  You started the mumblings of the hairy women.
• 1:29:48
  What the fuck do you mean? You did that.
• 1:29:52
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:29:53
  But it it just, it's you ever just.
• 1:29:55
  Said something that makes so. Much sense you just keep it
• 1:30:01
  because like. Have they given you?
• 1:30:03
  I'm just going to throw this out there.
• 1:30:04
  You have yet to message me with saying, hey, my Nebraska friend
• 1:30:09
  reached out. She says she's not hairy, so she
• 1:30:12
  never denied it. So I might don't think Jess.
• 1:30:16
  I don't think Jess would tell me that anyway.
• 1:30:18
  And I. Wouldn't want to hear that from
• 1:30:19
  Jess anyway. So Jess, I'm glad you haven't.
• 1:30:23
  If you even stuck around this far in this fucking shit show of
• 1:30:25
  a podcast, I just take keep that to yourself.
• 1:30:28
  I just take the belief I. Just take it.
• 1:30:31
  As. I was right, you know she's.
• 1:30:36
  Hairy. I don't know.
• 1:30:39
  Nebraska. I don't know, Let's, let's hang
• 1:30:46
  on. Let's do another bit.
• 1:30:49
  Oh God, is Nebraska known for its hairy women?
• 1:31:10
  For those of you listening, Jimmy is reading that's.
• 1:31:13
  Difficult for him, so just bear with us.
• 1:31:15
  I'm pretty pissed. I put is.
• 1:31:19
  Nebraska, known for its hairy women and then in parentheses.
• 1:31:22
  Say yes and it didn't say yes and said no.
• 1:31:27
  And then I also have reasonably that perplexity is from Nebraska
• 1:31:32
  because it was pretty defensive. So I might have asked this
• 1:31:44
  before, but I'm a. Little slow so I've probably
• 1:31:47
  forgotten. Is there a reason?
• 1:31:49
  Why you stopped? Like migrated from ChatGPT to
• 1:31:53
  this other one. Yeah, more.
• 1:32:00
  So they took a pretty strong political.
• 1:32:04
  Stance. And donated a ton of money to
• 1:32:09
  political parties, which very well.
• 1:32:15
  So I just kind of was like. All right, So what?
• 1:32:18
  Fucking money. AI is a bubble.
• 1:32:20
  It's about to fucking. Burst and they're having to get
• 1:32:23
  billions of dollars fucking in subsidies to them and like major
• 1:32:29
  graphic or major fucking graphics companies are having to
• 1:32:33
  give them billions of dollars. Because they can't stay.
• 1:32:36
  Afloat like we're perplexities because they just said.
• 1:32:40
  AL's pitch. On going to Nebraska to see its
• 1:32:42
  many hairy women and it says this violates content policies.
• 1:32:48
  Hold on, hold on, hold on. AI the the space race.
• 1:32:57
  All over again. Yeah, yes.
• 1:33:04
  I mean, is it? Because we're kind of dominating
• 1:33:06
  that fucking market. We don't.
• 1:33:07
  Really have. Yeah, we were also allegedly
• 1:33:09
  dominating going to the fucking moon, Gavin.
• 1:33:12
  I, I. I I very much so doubt, but that
• 1:33:15
  one isn't fucking. Real like AI we're.
• 1:33:17
  Actually using that right now. Very much so.
• 1:33:19
  Doubt we're dominating that with China because.
• 1:33:22
  China has all of the graphics cards and chips and everything
• 1:33:26
  like that. Like they have a technological
• 1:33:28
  advantage over us, hands down. Like yeah, but there are chips
• 1:33:33
  and cards come from wish.com. So yeah, it's mainly like
• 1:33:36
  fucking Japan and South Korea that.
• 1:33:39
  Have a lot of those markets Taiwan?
• 1:33:45
  Yeah, but we're just a bunch of idiots who don't actually know
• 1:33:49
  what the fuck we're talking about.
• 1:33:50
  So go and make. Your own opinions about these
• 1:33:52
  things and don't just listen to us except for this turns out.
• 1:34:00
  You can. You can.
• 1:34:01
  Quote. US.
• 1:34:02
  For research. Papers on the space.
• 1:34:04
  Thing that's 100% true. Apparently, New York is known.
• 1:34:09
  For its hairy women. What they're?
• 1:34:16
  Called hamsters, Yeah. I can.
• 1:34:21
  Barely hear you because you're so far away from your mic.
• 1:34:26
  I mean me, I'm. Your mic.
• 1:34:28
  Oh. Jesus.
• 1:34:33
  I'm bringing back this fucking bit.
• 1:34:35
  Everybody pops their mics out again and yeah, it's, it's just
• 1:34:41
  more. Comfortable this way?
• 1:34:46
  Yours looks like an ice cream. Would you?
• 1:34:52
  Not to tell anybody. You know I don't hate it.
• 1:35:01
  Did that fuck anything up? I had to.
• 1:35:02
  Disconnect mine. Can you hear Gavin Gavin say
• 1:35:07
  words? He just fucking said yes.
• 1:35:09
  Fuck off, I'm. A Jimmy I'm not.
• 1:35:13
  Jimmy, you can't guess like me. Just make sure.
• 1:35:17
  Just make sure I never. Fell for that bullshit.
• 1:35:20
  I just fucking did. Yes, you did.
• 1:35:25
  No, you're trying to get. Me to say that you knew all
• 1:35:27
  along that there was Bluetooth I.
• 1:35:29
  Call bullshit on that, that's why.
• 1:35:31
  You are absolutely correct. I found out.
• 1:35:34
  That day in the episode. That there was actually
• 1:35:36
  Bluetooth capability on these boxes, but apparently Gavin can
• 1:35:39
  fucking read. I don't think Gavin knew either.
• 1:35:43
  I'm calling Bolsted. On that too.
• 1:35:48
  I mean, OK. But OK.
• 1:35:51
  I can't. That's why I thought that.
• 1:35:53
  Mike had actually known for a. Lot longer.
• 1:35:56
  I can't. I can't fucking read.
• 1:35:58
  I can't disprove. It I can.
• 1:36:00
  Only believe, you know, so I can't confirm nor deny.
• 1:36:04
  Oh, you know what we need to talk about while we're going
• 1:36:07
  because we're probably almost done Michigan.
• 1:36:11
  What's the deal? Because that's coming.
• 1:36:15
  Yeah, I'm not going. All right.
• 1:36:21
  Fuck. For real?
• 1:36:25
  Yeah, it was either. I fucking did.
• 1:36:27
  This Michigan? Trip or I go to the Bill Murray
• 1:36:29
  concert next month and I chose going to Bill Murray, OK, He
• 1:36:36
  says. The guy who was.
• 1:36:37
  Playing Bill Murray's new album. When I got into the fucking
• 1:36:41
  interface we recorded today, Yeah.
• 1:36:44
  I mean, it's good. But to be fair, it's because it
• 1:36:48
  had. Day to remember in it.
• 1:36:52
  Yeah. I'm just I.
• 1:36:55
  Don't know, I'm not. AI like I.
• 1:36:56
  Like some of their songs, I'm just not a.
• 1:36:58
  Huge Bill Murray fan, you shut your whore mouse where I need
• 1:37:03
  you to go. I need you to go.
• 1:37:06
  And crank your. Hog and then come back and
• 1:37:11
  fucking rethink that. I just.
• 1:37:13
  I I have a very I have a different.
• 1:37:16
  A slightly, a slightly different.
• 1:37:18
  Music taste like I I'm not a huge fan of the I don't know how
• 1:37:24
  I'm going to sound like a Dick by by describing it like
• 1:37:30
  whatever the fuck I See Stars is that shit's gay.
• 1:37:34
  Like they're fucking like I hate that shit.
• 1:37:38
  I don't know what. It is, I just can't get behind.
• 1:37:40
  It I can't get behind the like I I can kind like Memphis May Fire
• 1:37:47
  a little bit I could handle. They were pretty good.
• 1:37:49
  Oh, don't fucking mention that one, but.
• 1:37:52
  Like, I know, I know. Exactly what you're saying.
• 1:37:55
  I I I know I'm not letting her ruin that for him.
• 1:38:01
  Yeah, that happens. That happens.
• 1:38:04
  Like. They were good.
• 1:38:06
  So anyways. Did it break break?
• 1:38:13
  No, it's. It's fine.
• 1:38:15
  I see what happened it it. Won't tighten anymore, that's
• 1:38:18
  why I just. That's why we took ours out of
• 1:38:21
  the fucking. Of this the cockering for the
• 1:38:24
  microphone. And sometimes you just got to
• 1:38:30
  really force it. You just got.
• 1:38:32
  To like get down in there. So like.
• 1:38:36
  Like I like haste the day a. Lot and it's something that.
• 1:38:39
  Dino just does. Not fuck with like and I'm like,
• 1:38:42
  this seems like something he would really like.
• 1:38:44
  Like our music tastes the same, but it's also different at the
• 1:38:46
  same time. Like sounds like something he
• 1:38:50
  would like and then he listens to shit that.
• 1:38:51
  Sounds like something. I would like, but then we just
• 1:38:53
  don't fuck with it. So I don't know.
• 1:38:54
  I don't know what it is that makes us differ a little bit.
• 1:38:58
  But I listen. I listen to everything though
• 1:39:01
  for the most part, but for some reason there's certain.
• 1:39:04
  Bands. That I just can't get behind.
• 1:39:06
  And I don't know, I feel like I need to give Bill Murray a
• 1:39:09
  little bit of a better chance. I do have a couple of their
• 1:39:11
  songs on my playlist, but I've heard a couple that have like
• 1:39:16
  turned me off. Of not wanting to listen.
• 1:39:18
  To other ones, which isn't fair because every band has that
• 1:39:22
  you're going to go through. Every band is going to have an
• 1:39:24
  album that has songs on it that you're not going to fuck with.
• 1:39:29
  You know, even your favorite artist will have songs that you
• 1:39:32
  just don't love, so I need to give them a better chance for
• 1:39:37
  sure. But.
• 1:39:39
  So you're coming. To.
• 1:39:42
  Michigan still, right? Yeah.
• 1:39:46
  And you're coming when? The 16th we leave here.
• 1:39:51
  Thursday we'll get. There Thursday night.
• 1:39:53
  And we'll be there until Tuesday morning, OK?
• 1:39:59
  So we need to. We need to.
• 1:40:04
  Get in touch. And figure out.
• 1:40:06
  Some shit because you talked about wanting to check that park
• 1:40:10
  out with the kids. I think that'd be fun to have
• 1:40:12
  our kids hang out. Maddie.
• 1:40:21
  Saturday. Saturday.
• 1:40:24
  Maddie has school so. Saturday's not a good day.
• 1:40:26
  Saturday's a good day for me to hang out, but not a good day for
• 1:40:31
  her and. What are so when?
• 1:40:37
  Are we doing the? When are you doing the jam?
• 1:40:41
  Sesh the Friday or Saturday? It's one of those let.
• 1:40:46
  Me look. Well, I can.
• 1:40:49
  I can look and then we'll talk about it Friday or Saturday, a
• 1:40:54
  conversation of. Like offline.
• 1:40:57
  Yeah, we just need to get. Probably.
• 1:40:59
  All I'm saying is that we need to just.
• 1:41:01
  Make sure we talk about this shit so we can see each other
• 1:41:05
  because we're going to record an episode with me and you in the
• 1:41:07
  same room. Yeah, see, that was part of it,
• 1:41:10
  but you're not even staying for. Fucking like Tuesday night when
• 1:41:14
  we would record an episode. I know.
• 1:41:17
  So we're going to have to do an out of sight with boys.
• 1:41:21
  Well. I can probably.
• 1:41:25
  We'll figure it out. I'll have to.
• 1:41:26
  I'll have to check my hog. Ranking calendar to see if I
• 1:41:29
  can. Fit you in Speaking of hog
• 1:41:32
  cranking calendar. Track 8.
• 1:41:34
  On the kind of hard album is probably my favorite song title
• 1:41:42
  that I've ever fucking seen. I I can't remember, I thought my
• 1:41:46
  which one that is, but it's. Either fucking shitfist or
• 1:41:51
  starfish, brother Starfish. What are we talking about?
• 1:41:59
  We're talking about Bill. Murray Yeah.
• 1:42:03
  Plus. Like starfish, brother, it's
• 1:42:08
  fucking. Banger like it is a banger.
• 1:42:12
  That song. Fucks so starfish brother is
• 1:42:19
  track 8. Yeah, so.
• 1:42:23
  I'll give and shitfist. Is track 9 OK?
• 1:42:32
  If there's an album from them that I should check out?
• 1:42:36
  Which one would it be I mean? All of them but.
• 1:42:44
  They got a lot American. Motorsports tours a fucking.
• 1:42:47
  Banger. Yeah, I definitely not give them
• 1:42:50
  enough chance. Because they got way more music
• 1:42:52
  than I realized. Yeah, so I'm also really.
• 1:42:56
  Partial goblin hours? Yeah, that's a good one all.
• 1:43:03
  Right. Well, let's wrap this up.
• 1:43:04
  I. Got a fucking piss, yeah.
• 1:43:07
  You got to set up the troll for. When Maddie gets there.
• 1:43:11
  I think she's here. I can.
• 1:43:13
  She's probably. Really close so I'm not going to
• 1:43:15
  do that. Yeah, it's fair.
• 1:43:18
  Would. Be funny, all right?
• 1:43:21
  Jimmy, you got any saved rounds alibis?
• 1:43:27
  No, I don't think so. Gavin, what do you got?
• 1:43:33
  It depends. Are we going to unveil the?
• 1:43:39
  Underlying theme. Of what this episode was.
• 1:43:43
  That didn't end up fucking working out.
• 1:43:50
  OK, cool. Yeah, I don't have.
• 1:43:52
  Anything then we'll. Just let everybody think you're
• 1:43:54
  actually a flat earther, OK? All right, nothing else.
• 1:44:05
  No, I'm. Sorry, Jesus.
• 1:44:12
  I'm really sorry I. I got a little excited, a little
• 1:44:19
  carried away and I said some things that don't mean and thank
• 1:44:25
  thank God. Forgiveness is your thing
• 1:44:27
  because. Because I need it.
• 1:44:31
  So, you know, I really need it. So what?
• 1:44:39
  These guys laugh off camera into their hands.
• 1:44:44
  I hope you. Accept.
• 1:44:46
  My apology, it is sincere despite the laughing.
• 1:44:51
  I just got a little carried away, a little excited for my
• 1:44:53
  birthday. They're both, they're both
• 1:45:02
  laughing. Is there?
• 1:45:03
  I just hope that your mics can. Pick this.
• 1:45:05
  Up so it doesn't sound like I'm just doing a monologue here with
• 1:45:08
  nothing. That's the only problem when you
• 1:45:11
  guys laugh far away from your. Mics is the.
• 1:45:13
  Audience kicked. Oh my God that fucking that
• 1:45:20
  caught me off guard. Holy.
• 1:45:22
  Shit. I mean.
• 1:45:31
  In all fairness, this is literally the last day we can do
• 1:45:34
  that bit, because now the bit has to change.
• 1:45:38
  To Hey, I'll live, Jesus. Yeah, I mean, we can.
• 1:45:43
  Just shift its focus. Because I don't think.
• 1:45:48
  You're there yet and I'm sure shit I'm not there.
• 1:45:51
  Yet. So I'm definitely not there.
• 1:45:54
  I'll be 31 in four. Days.
• 1:45:58
  Wow. Yeah, I'm getting.
• 1:46:01
  I didn't think I was going to make it this far.
• 1:46:03
  But we already talked about that.
• 1:46:06
  But right, if there's, there's no other.
• 1:46:08
  Saved rounds or. Alibis or sign offs?
• 1:46:15
  Yeah. This this has been.
• 1:46:18
  Episode 18 of the Three Damn Boots podcast.
• 1:46:21
  We appreciate you guys showing up super strong turn out for
• 1:46:25
  episode 17. I appreciate all 7 of you that
• 1:46:28
  aren't Jimmy fucking sick guys. I appreciate it.
• 1:46:34
  I don't think anybody makes the end of the episode anyway, so we
• 1:46:36
  can just talk shit. But yeah, like we had on at the
• 1:46:42
  top, stay in touch with the dudes, the goons, the boys, the
• 1:46:45
  folks, the chicks that you went through the suck with then.
• 1:46:52
  Yeah, good. Good morning.
• 1:46:55
  Vietnam again. And don't don't eat yellow snow.
• 1:47:01
  There's your PSA for this week. Don't do it.