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Communicate to connect · Authentic Living

0:01
Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have conscious cover about
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things that really matter in our lives.
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And now here's your host, Roxanne Turhage.
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Hi, everyone.
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It's, Rob Sanderhart again.
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Thanks so much, for tuning in, to share some time with me.
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So today, I have a colleague, that's, I recently met at the Canadian professional
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associations, events in Ottawa back in December.
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Hi, Marin.
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Thanks for joining us today.
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Marion is, someone that I think is, much needed across industry, whether you're in a small
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sector or a big sector, She is a a workplace communication consultant or specialist.
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So, Mary's gonna we're gonna chat a little bit about Mary's background, and today, her and I
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are gonna just talk about, the importance of communication and how vitally, how underplayed
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it is at times, but rec recognizing the importance of getting it right in companies
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because we're often talking about the bottom line, but what we rec we forget is that soft
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skills is probably the biggest key indicator for bottom line.
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So I can tell you a little bit about Marion.
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She has worked as an executive assistant to a senior manager at National Museums,
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International Airports, federal departments, and so she understands communication from a lot
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of perspectives.
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In 2007, she was awarded, the award for leadership and services innovation And, this
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was given by the professional executives of public service of Canada.
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And she that was part of the operation Tim Hortons.
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And this is where you've launched a Tim Hortons outlets in Kandahar air fields.
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Wow.
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In the Canadian, for the Canadian air forces and allied forces in Afghanistan, that we have
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to talk about.
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Marion is also a published author who has orchestrated national marketing campaigns,
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manage controversial media issues, and produced and hosted award winning cable television shows
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the things you don't know about people that you know, that you meet.
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And, Overall, she operates on the principle that changing how you think and communicates
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changes your results.
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She shares an update beat attitudes as you you'll get to experience in a couple of
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seconds.
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And, she works with people in both small and large organizations public private and
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nonprofit sectors, and she makes learning fun.
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For sure, your fun, Mary, and I can imagine what your trainings are like.
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So is there anything that I've missed in your intro that you think, you know, that we should
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add so that people understand you a bit more?
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Sure.
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Actually, you mentioned that I had worked as as an executive assistant, and that's absolutely
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true.
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So I understand the frustrations of what it's like to be in the support and administrative
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areas of an organization because you don't necessarily have the hierarchical authority to
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initiate change the way you would like to do it.
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And you're often the recipient of change, and that's really difficult.
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It's difficult in terms of communicating in those type of situations as well.
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And the other thing I wanted to mention is I understand also what it's like to be on the
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other side.
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That is to be on the management side because as a senior manager myself as a director
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communication, at international airports and museums and federal institutions.
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I had staff working with me as well, So I I kinda get the both size of what communication
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is like in an organization.
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And now Roxanne, as you and I are both solo preneurs and businesswoman ourselves, I get
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that whole world as well.
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So when when I present solutions and processes and systems to people.
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They come from in the trenches, baby.
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They are real and raw And I know they work because they've worked for me, and that's why I
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share them with other people.
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And that's why I'm so, so glad to be here today to share some communication tips and strategies
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with you and your audience.
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So, you know, what's interesting, like you you talk You've been at the front line, which all
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of us had at some point in her career, but we've got you've also been in senior or middle
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management.
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What are some of the key things that you find, you know, when when your frontline, you hear
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the message from a different perspective, And when you're middle or upper management, you
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also hear the same message from a different perspective.
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What are some of these main problems that you see in organizations with communicating up or
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down, the same message.
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Are there some some of the things that you can share with us?
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Sure.
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What I really revel in is creating what I call truthful teams.
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And it's about having the the courage and the tools to communicate in your words
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authentically.
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To communicate authentically from the heart, from the soul, and in a way that is
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constructive and productive.
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And that's what I see is missing.
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And so what happens, at all levels in any organization or frankly on personal basis as as
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basis.
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What's the plural of that?
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On a 1st year
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basis.
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I'll use it.
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Yeah.
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I'm a communications person.
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On a, like, personal basis as well, you see it happening and it breaks down, and this is what
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happens.
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This is the dynamic.
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Somebody see something that they want to share and they think, they do the self talk, better
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not share that because I'm going to appear as incompetent.
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I should know I I better not ask about that.
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Or else they say, that's gonna hurt that person.
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If I say something might take it personally a bit or not, or else they're going to say, well,
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you know what?
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It's going to ripple the waves, and I don't wanna do that.
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I don't wanna be seen as a troublemaker.
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And people do all this self talk and all these reasons why they they decide not to share
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whatever it is.
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That is bothering them and keeping them up at night or a suggestion.
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It could be something positive.
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And to that, This is what I say.
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Whether you're a manager, an employee, an admin person, a solo printer, working with a client,
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It is your job to share your expertise.
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So if from your expertise perspective, You see something that is of concern to an
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organization.
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It's your job to share that because it's going to affect the culture of the workplace.
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It's going to affect the productivity.
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It's going to affect your own morale.
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It's going to affect the bottom line, ultimately.
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And thank you for drawing the fact that often the soft skills are overlooked when we discuss
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bottom line.
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So let me make it clear that the soft skills are the root or the route for any Americans
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joining us.
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Join that link actions to the bottom line.
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It's those soft skills.
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So to answer the question about what are some of the common problems It's about people who
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don't feel comfortable expressing themselves, and they don't know.
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Is it the right time to speak up?
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Or is it better to step away?
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And frankly, there are occasions when both are correct.
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There is no right or wrong.
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This is where some expertise and some skill comes into place.
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The good news is some of these skills can be learned.
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So you would say that it's a duty and, you know, with organizations that I've consulted
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with, sometimes there's been core management skills.
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There's been such a rapid change, you know, one on top of the other.
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There's not transparency in communications from the the macro to the micro.
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So it it gets loaded up with a lot of things going on at the same time.
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And sometimes people get I don't know if you've ever heard this.
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I'm just gonna go and do my job and go home.
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Oh, yeah.
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I've heard that one.
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I think we all have.
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Quite as badly.
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Right?
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Because if everybody just gave that little bit extra, imagine the multitude of difference that
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would make if everybody gave just a little.
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It lifts the whole organization.
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And, yes, people do feel like resigning themselves, and here's one of the reasons why.
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People will resign themselves when they feel they're not being heard.
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They will just wipe their hands and say, what's the use?
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There's going to be no change.
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I'm not going to even bother.
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Why give it the energy?
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So it's incumbent upon all of us, not just to speak up, it's the other side to listen to
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those who are speaking up.
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And the trick is that when people speak up, we're all human.
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Not everybody does it in a productive way.
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So it's digging through that pile of you know what and finding that little seed of truth that
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is productive.
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So peeling away the part that hurts and getting to what's what's in that that I can actually
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use.
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Which it takes a an open minded I'm gonna you know, I know what the organizations that I work
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with, they're open minded, but sometimes You think there's a little bit more open minded,
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and you have to be able to deliver the information that you're finding potentially
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that you know, maybe maybe they weren't trying to favor or, treat one sector or one slice of
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the organization differently than others.
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Let's say for instance, if there's a conflict between a frontline and a supervisor or So that
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sometimes, you know, the assumption is I we have the skills as an organization to have a
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manager deal with something effectively and you know, maybe the manager doesn't have effective
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skills.
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So the dilemma I've often run into and I wonder with you is You go in.
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You you work with a team.
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You you kinda trudge up what needs to be looked at.
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And then you have to go then go back to your key contact or the head of HR to say, you know,
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I find that X Y Z happens a lot more.
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And and sometimes I find if organizations are bringing in speakers and trainers like us,
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they're open, but sometimes they're a little bit put put back or put off just like, wow.
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You're telling me this this is going on in my organization, and I how can I not have known?
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Do you find that that happens a fair amount of time when you go into organization?
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Yes.
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Absolutely.
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And and frankly, that's why they hire people like us because they want to know what's going
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on that I don't know about.
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Right.
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And that's often a good thing to remember or to remind people when people like us are working
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with them or when we're on the seating in to remind ourselves, you know what?
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I just paid somebody to tell me what I don't know, and now I'm being offended that they're
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telling me that I didn't know.
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So there's a there's sort of an irony and a bit of humor in that.
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I I tend to find the humor and everything.
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So how I personally handle that type of situation is to remind them exactly of that, to
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remind them that I'm presenting the good with the bad and the ugly And we're gonna work on
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that.
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And also to remind them that we understand their their motivation came from the right
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place.
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Doesn't always come from the right place.
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Sometimes that place is misguided, and that's where we gently nudge them to a place that is
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is more productive for everybody.
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And one of the ways that I handle that situation, and this is what I offer to to the
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listeners, if you're in a situation where you have to communicate a difficult difficult topic
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and the person, you run the risk of that person, the recipient dealing with it on a
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personal basis, which is really tough to do.
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Our actions are not us, but they're initiated by us.
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So it's really tough to not allow those to define us.
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And so how I differentiate is I invite them to look up at the thirty thousand foot lab You
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know, maybe that's my reference having worked in airports, but of thirty thousand foot level
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to the common object and the overall goals of what is it that we're trying to achieve here?
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So really what any manager, any employee is trying to achieve are things like, a
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productive, happy workplace, a workplace where employees want to be engaged and feel safe to
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bring forward suggestions or disagreements In fact, it was, George Patton, general George
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Patton who said if both of the I'm paraphrasing here, but it's something like if both people
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are thinking exactly the same thing, then one of us isn't needed.
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So in fact, having differing opinions is very productive.
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The trick is creating an environment where it's safe to share those.
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And and when you'd have that discussion, it's much more productive, and it removes a personal
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element because it's really tough to hear that in spite of your most gallent efforts, what
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you're doing isn't working.
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It's not connecting.
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So let's Right.
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And it's hard.
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Some people are say they that they'll say, well, that's the way I talk.
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Yeah.
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I have to get it off my mind or some people get quiet.
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Right?
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So, again, you know, I know you and I, when we were together recently, we talked a little bit
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about different, personalities, and I'd like you to touch.
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I know that's one of the areas that you work with a lot because I, you know, I think we were
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talking were both extroverts and I think of the introverts that kind of, you know, you
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interface with and I sometimes find that introverts because they absorb so much that
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they sometimes can come back with a really, really good aerial view because they they kind
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of absorb things.
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They did.
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They step back.
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They they kind of take things in and they come up sometimes with a strategy.
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You think Wow.
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And the next word, I was too busy, like, off doing god knows what.
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Not that I wasn't listening, but they lift this in a different way.
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So I'd like you to talk a little bit about the different personalities and and, you know, the
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value in each type you know, and how sometimes the the assumption is if I can gab your air
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off, that means I'm a good communicator.
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And in fact, that sometimes that's not the case.
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That's true.
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And conversely, sometimes the thinking is if I say absolutely nothing, it's going to be valued
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as a strong silent type.
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Right.
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Right.
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And either extreme is not productive.
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Any extreme in our lives doesn't matter what the emotion or the trade is.
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Any extremity is not healthy.
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So you wanna live in the in kind of the middle area of that those spectrums.
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There's another word, spectrums.
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What's the plural?
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Well, we're gonna waste
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your answers.
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Much of overcollabor vocabulary today.
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Yeah.
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I know.
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Anyways, being able to laugh at yourself.
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I e.
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What we're doing right now is such a big part of coping mechanism, isn't it?
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You know, we're we're humans.
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Sometimes we stumble.
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We fall.
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Laugh.
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Laugh at it.
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If you're gonna laugh at it someday, why not laugh at it now?
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Right.
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Right.
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For sure.
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Coping mechanism.
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So to answer your question, what do you do in that situation where somebody says, well,
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that's just the way I talk.
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In the words of Doctor Phil, ask them, so how is that working for you?
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Yep.
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What's the cost of continuing that behavior?
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What is it that you're losing or you're gaining by behaving that way?
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How do you think it feels being on the receiving end of that behavior?
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Describe it for me.
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Feel it for me.
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And even though it might not hurt for them, if they have the capacity to at least for a
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moment, a millisecond, understand what feels like to be on the receiving end, it it builds
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understanding.
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And that's what dealing with personality types and in communication styles is all about.
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It's about understanding different styles and building the bridges between them.
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That's what it's about.
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And so In terms of introversion, extroversion, there's lots of books and articles, honoring
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introverts.
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Silent.
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Oh, that's such a wonderful word, isn't it?
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And we all need a little more silence in our lives.
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We really do.
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So what's the one word that honors extroverts?
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I'm not sure what it is.
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Something that has no pejorative sense to it.
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I can't readily think of one.
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Silent is really good.
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He is silent.
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She is what's the extra report?
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I don't know.
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Somebody has 1.
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Please let me know because extroverts rock.
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And so do introverts rock.
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Whatever you are,
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you're perfect.
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You're perfect the way you are.
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You don't need to be disappointed of, oh, jeepers.
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I'm not extroverted or introverted or more like this person or that person or whatever.
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You perfect the way you are.
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The key is leveraging the strengths that we already have And, yes, you can reach out and
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modify your behavior slightly so that on that bridge, instead of expecting this person to
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walk way right over to you, That's not going to happen.
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So what you wanna do is just move partway on that bridge so that they can see a little piece
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of themselves in you because we relate to people that we can we connect with people that
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we can relate to, and we can see a little piece of ourselves and them.
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Maybe not all ourselves because opposites attract, but we want to see a little piece of
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ourselves that we can relate to.
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So that's the key.
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So for introverts, extroverts, it's all about where we get our energy.
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So introverts get their energy intrinsically, extroverts get their energy externally.
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They both honor other parties with their communications.
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They just manifest a fair differently.
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So introverts will honor the party that they're listening to by listening.
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They have 2 years, one mouth, and they use those 2 ears really, really well.
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Those 2 years versus one mouth are there for a reason.
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And they know that reason.
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So they are wonderful innately, very natural list great listeners.
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They are also people who your challenge is sometimes deciding to open their mouth and
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offer comment.
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Of input and to tell their face that they're actually interested.
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So an introvert will often look like this when they're listening.
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What works better for an introvert is if they let the world know they're listening.
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So more like this.
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I see.
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That's interesting.
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Mhmm.
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I understand.
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Yes.
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So they're interjecting neutral language.
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For an extrovert, how they manifest engagement is they will interact.
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Because, oh my goodness, they so relate to what you're saying.
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They can finish your sentences for you.
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It's a gift.
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And they do it.
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They, again, come from a place of honoring just as introverts.
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Listen.
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That's their way of manifesting honoring.
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Extroverts will honor by being animated and energetic and interject into the conversation.
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They are wonderful initiators.
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You don't wanna have a party without sitting there.
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So they bring energy to the group.
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So the caution, extroverts, the number one way that people find my website which is by the
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way, marian speaks.com because I'm extrodrated.
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And I always joke about in my husband's website, It's so not, but, really, I still feel
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about my husband's website is in Steve listens.
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Yeah.
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Well, you've met him.
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You know how what a joke that really
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is.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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For sure.
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For sure.
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But, you know, it's it's so interesting when you when you talk talk about those parallels,
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right, because As a speaker in the crowd, you definitely want the people that are showing
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you, you know, and if, you know, the extroverts are gonna engage more, but you're so right.
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Sometimes The experts assume that they have the answer as they interrupt in an untimely way
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because they were just bubbling up and sometimes that peeling back and just stepping
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back just even for a little more allows them to hear the message that much more openly.
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Right.
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Absolutely.
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Right.
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Extroverts communicate by extroverting.
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They will begin at point a and get to point zed or z Mhmm.
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By extroverting it by sharing it with the world.
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Introverts will start at point a land at point b, and it will often sound like they decree the
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decision because they have not involved anyone Right.
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In the process.
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Yes.
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That's the danger.
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Either extremity is not good.
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So the key is involve people and do it judiciously.
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Make sure you're listening.
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When you involve people, and invite their comments and suggestions, listen to them.
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That's the key.
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So both honor and manifest in different ways.
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So it's acknowledging those ways and building ways into your communications to allow for
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both.
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So example, Roxanne, when you and I do consulting or we do workshops or we deal on a 1
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to 1 on coaching or with a group, We consciously, and I'm saying we, because I know
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you well enough that I know you do this, we build in ways that honor both introverts and
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extra An example is when I give a workshop on communication with an organization or at a
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convention or wherever case maker.
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I often will say to people, here's my con at the beginning of the session, here's my contact
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information, If after this session, you have questions, you can reach me at
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Marion@marianspeaks.com.
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And write me tomorrow the next day.
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Next week, if you have one of those, oh, gee, I should have asked or I want to input, you can
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contact me then.
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For those of you who have questions during the session, please feel free to just throw up your
24:06
hand.
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Ask them right now.
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We can address them as we move along.
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That's how I handle both the introversion and the aster version.
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I honor both of them because I'm allowing communication vehicles at work.
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For both of them.
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And that's the challenge in the workplace or in our personal relationships to make sure that we
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build in those systems.
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Absolutely.
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And, you know, we we're talking a lot about the work environment, but
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Mhmm.
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This applies to relationships, to partners, lots of things, right, because you may have an,
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you know, you may be the extrovert, but your child's introverted.
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And, you know, you talk at them and you assume and they're like, mean, they're just kinda
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going along.
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And you're assuming you have you have agreements.
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And in fact, this, you know, child maybe needs some time to be able to kind of think about it
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to respond back.
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So what are some some quick if, you know, let's say I'm listening on there and I'm thinking,
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oh, boy, I so relate to what Marion say, I do this or I don't do this or, you know, I like
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the fact that you, you know, talk to the extrovert to say, just to give something and
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the extra the introvert to just kinda bring it down a notch.
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What are some things that if you're an extrovert, you could kind of try maybe 1 or 2
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tips and something that introverts could do.
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You already gave us 1, but if, you know, just so if if people could kind of, and they're
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listening, I'm sure they're thinking of that potentially.
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I know I am.
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So absolutely.
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As extroverts extroverts who are listening to this, and let me say, first of all, you you
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might not know definitively if you're an extrovert or introvert unless you actually do
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proper assessment.
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And let me just to their own horns for a moment here.
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There are some people who slapped together, dozen questions, and say this is a personality
25:48
test.
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No.
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It's not.
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My background is in marketing research.
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And for me, any tool that I use has to be valid, reliable.
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It has to be tested in the market place to be properly vetted.
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The 2 choice that I called, and it's Internationally.
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It's amazing.
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It's Canadian developed and Canadian, used, and tested.
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And the reason I like it is because the language it uses honors all the four colors.
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An inter introversion and so to answer your question about rating with the logizes you,
26:45
then you might well be extroverted or some of the behaviors we've been talking about.
26:49
So if that sounds like you, what you can do is really turn on your listening ears.
26:55
As I say to my great niece who's six years old.
26:59
You need to tune up the volume on your listening ears, Kaya.
27:03
Those are her bunny ears.
27:05
You need to really listen.
27:07
You'll want to listen more.
27:08
It will help you connect.
27:10
If you find yourself wanting to interrupt, Don't whip yourself because, oh, geez, there.
27:15
I'm doing it again.
27:16
Command yourself that you caught the behavior because awareness is the first step on change.
27:22
So stop interrupting.
27:23
The second thing that you can do is, as I mentioned before, make sure that you're
27:27
building in tips in your commune techniques in your communication to allow for the introverts
27:34
to pull out.
27:36
And you can actively ask them questions So stop yourself from talking and ask yourself.
27:42
So what do you think?
27:44
Have you had a similar situation?
27:47
What have you discovered or experienced along those lines?
27:50
Ask them.
27:51
So there's a couple of tips.
27:53
For the introverts It takes let me remind you that it takes an extrovert as much energy to
28:00
stop talking as it does for you to talk.
28:05
Yeah.
28:05
So honor when they are listening to you, recognize that and honor that by opening your
28:12
mouth and offering a comment, a suggestion.
28:16
So when they ask you so what do you think?
28:19
Oh, not much.
28:21
Oh, so how are you today?
28:22
Fine.
28:24
What you want to do is avoid laconic short, one word answers.
28:28
Give it some energy.
28:29
Give us some flesh around those bones that you're offering as an answer.
28:33
Give us some, substance because That is the biggest gift is a piece of yourself.
28:41
So give that to an extrovert.
28:43
And when they're animated, use some nearing technique match their pace of speech.
28:50
If they're talking a little faster, a little louder, then you talk a little faster, a little
28:54
louder.
28:55
Match.
28:55
I'm not saying mimic.
28:56
I'm not saying mock them.
28:58
I'm saying to your own comfort zone, but pick up the pace a little bit.
29:03
Give it a little more energy when you're talking.
29:05
And, also, if you're in a a meeting type situation or a one to one, say, you know, I I
29:12
really want to get my story out.
29:14
And if you are interrupted, say to them, I want to hear what you want, what you need to say,
29:20
and you want to share.
29:21
I just really, really wanna complete this story.
29:25
And then absolutely, I'm so interested in your comments.
29:29
So handle the interruption.
29:31
Do it, honorably.
29:32
Do it respectfully because they they often don't mean to interrupt.
29:37
So try not to try to push that hurt feeling aside and deal with it.
29:43
Deal with the disruption and get your voice heard.
29:46
Do it in a diplomatic way too because I think if it's new, sometimes it might be, you know,
29:51
if you're trying it for the first time, you're like, And if you just say, you know, that
29:55
sounds like a really, really good point.
29:58
Wow.
29:58
I'd love to get back to you, but can I finish kind of what I was saying and, absolutely, I'm
30:03
sure what you're seeing is valuable, but I to your point, Miriam, like, with all of us, I
30:07
know I'm extrovert?
30:09
So I'm always, like, raring to go, and I have to slow myself down even though I, you know,
30:13
I've been doing this a long time.
30:15
It's practice.
30:16
It's practice and and really say, you know, you know, my best teachers sometimes are, the
30:23
introverts because they they challenge me You know, I've been on senior management, for in
30:30
several positions and and there was one one particular man you know, and I often felt, why
30:37
is he challenging me?
30:38
But really what he was was doing some of the things that you were saying.
30:41
He was very smart He was methodical.
30:45
He was, microscopic, and he knew his job.
30:51
But what he would not do is he would not give me the cues that you're talking about.
30:54
And then he would, at the end, a meeting would come up, and there'll be a cavalcade of
31:00
information, and I'd be like, woah.
31:02
Right?
31:03
So, you know, but you know what?
31:05
I respected once I got to know him better, and he start to trust me.
31:10
They had not been the best manager prior to me, having the position.
31:15
And I, you know, told him what a value he was and what what a gift he brings to someone like
31:20
myself because I I often have to learn from people like that because those are those are my
31:25
biggest growth curves as an extrovert.
31:27
Mhmm.
31:28
And, you know, so sometimes those I find that the ones that are very different are the most
31:34
challenging but what it often does is it it forces you or it didn't need to become better
31:40
at understanding someone that was diametrically opposed to what my personality type was like.
31:45
Indeed.
31:45
That is so insightful, and I have no surprise there, Roxanne, that, oh gee, you're
31:49
insightful.
31:52
Yes.
31:52
It's so true.
31:53
Yeah.
31:54
It in fact, our least preferred color, if you will, or personality type is in fact the one
32:00
that we grow the most from.
32:02
That's the one that we need in our lives.
32:04
And it it's so interesting when I do personality types in a in a group session, I
32:09
ask everybody, so all the introverts raise your hands.
32:12
Mhmm.
32:12
All the extroverts raise your hands.
32:14
And then I ask them now.
32:15
I want you to think about your significant other in your life.
32:20
Do you see based on the clues and such and again, you won't know unless they do an
32:23
official assessment thing, but you can get an idea.
32:27
Is your significant other the same or the opposite of you?
32:31
And without fail, Mhmm.
32:34
People say the opposite, so apparently nature does no vest, offices do attract because we
32:40
need each other.
32:41
And in working with couples, which I've had the privilege of doing, guess what's the, you know,
32:46
wherever you you pick your partner, let's say you're an extrovert, you pick an inch Right?
32:51
You're falling in love with that because that that balance is, you know, that gives you that
32:55
balance.
32:56
And when there's differences, guess what the first thing is people have conflict or you
33:01
don't talk enough or you don't you don't stay with me now before.
33:04
You know?
33:05
And I often say
33:06
So true.
33:08
It's so true.
33:09
What were you attracted to in this person?
33:11
It's so true.
33:12
Yes.
33:13
Right.
33:13
Oh, gee.
33:13
I used to really love how we listen to me.
33:16
Oh, I reached you really love how she expressed herself.
33:21
Right?
33:22
Isn't that interesting?
33:23
So, of course, I think it's such a valuable, and and we've I know I know I've been there
33:28
multiple times.
33:29
And through my career, as I grew, you know, you you, you value the differences.
33:35
And the easy ones like myself, it was easier.
33:40
We probably didn't help each other not interrupt and not question.
33:43
But we had a lot of good times, but the, you know, the ones that made you stop and made you
33:50
prepare more or made you think about possibilities in my case was, something that
33:55
was very valuable.
33:56
Yes.
33:56
Indeed.
33:57
Now you mentioned, is there anything that you would suggest if someone wanted to find out
34:02
what their personality type.
34:03
I know you and I, we've done it multiple times.
34:05
Is there something that you could suggest as a resource that people could do?
34:11
Free of charge or or even something that's paid if they really wanted to know what their
34:15
personality types were like.
34:17
Absolutely.
34:18
Well, my first suggestion would be to Google.
34:22
There's so much information on the web these days.
34:24
So to Google personality type to familiarize yourself with the various tools that are
34:29
available.
34:29
And I always say any of these tools will provide you with information you didn't have.
34:35
Right.
34:35
Right.
34:35
And any of them will give you some insights and such.
34:39
Online, you can get free disc, assessments that will give you an idea.
34:45
Again, you won't have a person sitting there interpreting the results and how you can
34:49
actually use them.
34:51
So it's a starting step.
34:53
There are lots of people who are trained and skilled in various different systems.
34:59
There's, the 5 traits is being used, insights.
35:02
I use personality dimensions, true colors, Myers Briggs, etcetera.
35:07
My suggestion would be is if you are going to work with an individual, Make sure that they're
35:11
certified in whatever tool it is that they're using because you want your money to be well
35:17
spent.
35:17
And the real key is working with somebody who can interpret the results for you and actually
35:23
help you understand how those results affect your relationships and the dynamics and what
35:29
you can do to grab control and make them work even better.
35:34
And, as I mentioned, I mean, I'm available.
35:37
You're welcome if you questions to write me, Marion at Marian speaks.com.
35:41
I do assessments for groups or or for individuals.
35:45
I normally do them for teams.
35:47
But I have done individuals as well.
35:49
So if that's a use, feel free to reach out.
35:52
So, Mary, so I know we're getting close to wrapping up So, what I'm interested in is where
36:00
can people if they wanna work with you, you have a couple of exciting things coming up, so
36:05
in the I'm I'm not sure if it's gonna be in the area here in Niagara or if it's is, out of
36:10
town.
36:10
So if you can tell people where they can reach you if they wanted to work with you and, about
36:15
the exciting event coming up.
36:17
That would be fantastic.
36:18
Right.
36:19
Excellent.
36:19
Yes.
36:20
I'm I'm developing.
36:21
I've always wanted to do this.
36:23
And I've had several people mentioned Kenny Marion.
36:25
You should really put all a lot of this information into a book.
36:30
And I have been in books before, but not on this particular topic.
36:34
So I'm I'm currently drafting a book called the Finkelstein Factor.
36:39
What to do when things go wrong, dot, dot, dot, because you know they will.
36:44
And the Finkelstein factor is all about when life throws things at you that you don't have
36:49
control of.
36:50
What do you do with that?
36:52
And how do you manage it?
36:54
And it's called the Finkelstein Factor based on in large part, my husband's reaction to when
37:00
things go really bad.
37:03
And we've all had really bad things happen in our lives.
37:07
Sometimes their careers are lost or changed or robbed from us.
37:12
Sometimes health is taken from us.
37:15
Sometimes financial difficulties come our way.
37:18
Sometimes relationship challenges are thrown at our feet.
37:22
There are difficulties that we all face, whether it's in our work lives or our personal
37:27
lives.
37:27
And that's what this book is all about.
37:29
And it's all about a process that I've I've featured in several of my workshops, including,
37:36
I call it the Flippett formula.
37:38
And it really is two steps and four questions that help people move forward and process and
37:45
manage challenges.
37:46
It's really about reprogramming how we look at things and how we manage those difficulties.
37:54
And I'll just leave people with this one little snippet from that session.
38:00
It really talks about self care, and how it honors us when we take care of ourselves and we
38:08
give ourselves tools that we can use in the workplace and in our own lives.
38:15
When you invest in yourself, you show the world I always say you show the world what you value
38:22
by how you spend your resources.
38:25
You are important You Roxanne are important.
38:28
You listening right now.
38:30
You're important investing yourselves in whatever form that might be.
38:34
Self care is really important.
38:36
And that's one of the first steps I talk about in the Finkelstein Factor.
38:40
So on that note, I am drafting a book.
38:45
And here's the fun part.
38:47
I'm going to be hosting a one day session in Niagara Falls or the Niagara Region somewhere
38:54
Next year, that's in 2019 in, probably the spring summer fall date to be determined.
39:01
And only if there's enough interest.
39:03
So if you're interested, if that sounds like fun, if you want an excuse to visit wine
39:07
country, I'm going to do an optional wine tour at the end because why not.
39:12
Right?
39:14
And, if that's of interest, please contact me, Marion at marionspeaks.com.
39:21
Or if you're interested in an online 5 week online program, I'm going to be developing that
39:27
this winter.
39:29
And, that will be a 5 week session where once a week, I will send you some information I'll pop
39:36
online on Skype on Zoom for some live interaction on Facebook for some live
39:42
synchronous communication with the group who is walking through that in the 5 weeks.
39:47
It'll be fun.
39:48
And both those things will be offered at inter introductory pricing because I've never done
39:53
them before.
39:54
And the price will be very reasonable because what I want is feedback.
40:00
I want to create best session that I can, the best online program that I can, and I need
40:06
feedback.
40:07
So again, Marion at Marian speaks.com, or if you're interested in workplace communication
40:13
training for your team, or for your management team, your employee team, or you have a
40:20
conference and you need a speaker, feel free to reach out to me, Marian speaks.com.
40:26
Well, I thank you, Marion.
40:27
Like, it's been a it's been a pleasure, you know, and you bring such a levity to
40:32
communication.
40:32
I know communication, you know, sometimes they go, well, we all talk.
40:35
We make it light to make it fun.
40:38
And, today, you know, with my listeners, I know what I'm taking away is, you know, as an
40:44
extrovert, Be quiet, you know, like use the bunny ears.
40:50
And, you know, and and for if I'm working with an introvert or relationships just to to to ask
40:58
for the feedback, right, instead of going out like a freight train.
41:01
So two little tips there that I think, you know, if we were to do that today with somebody
41:07
out there, you know, in the grocery line or somewhere else, you know, you know, that you
41:11
can really make a difference.
41:13
So communication is something that we do all the time.
41:15
We we oftentimes are conscious about it.
41:18
So thinking about auto authenticity, the more that you're connected to yourself, then you're
41:24
able to kind of listen to what you're going through and then reach out someone in a way
41:28
that works better for them.
41:30
So, again, thanks so much for coming on and for all my listeners for, tuning in again to
41:36
authenticity.
41:37
And my topic, if anybody is interested, as you know, you can reach me, at any time, but I do
41:45
offer a free course, and it's, just go to Roxanne for forward slash blueprint, and you'll
41:51
be able to get a free course at any time.
41:54
So take care, and I hope to, connect with you real soon next week.
42:00
Roxanne, I just had one more thing.
42:01
If anybody wants the communication tips.
42:04
I do have a newsletter as well, and they can reach me, Marion.
42:08
Well, they can either email me, Marion at Marian speaks.com, or They can subscribe online
42:14
at marianspeaks.comforward/tips, t I p s.
42:19
Awesome.
42:20
Well, thank you.
42:21
It was if this was lovely.
42:23
My pleasure.
42:24
Take care.
42:24
We'll talk to you guys again soon.
42:26
Bye.
42:28
Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
42:34
healthy change.
42:35
Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
42:41
rocksandurhaj.com/blueprint.
42:45
We'll see next time on authentic living with Roxanne.